Chapter 12

This chapter is dedicated to all of the reviewers who have loved this story, especially one in particular. I love writing and I love that you love to read it. I have three other current stories that you should all check out, especially if you love this one.

With my recent inspiration for this story, I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Characters belong to Cassie Clare.

Clary POV

The knocks rang so loud in my ears I almost couldn't hear myself think. I stood up quickly with my mother's note in my left hand. I expected the door to open wide and Jon to announce whoever was here for me.

That was stupid, I am being stupid – I know exactly who is here for me. I took a step to the door and put my right hand do the door with my eyes closed. I could feel Jace on the other side and I wanted nothing more for him to be in here with me. I took a deep breath and trailed my fingers down to the door knob.

"Clary," he said muffled, almost like he was trying to whisper. I put my forehead to the door and I could feel the small vibration in the wood as he spoke. "Jon sent me up here."

My fingers twisted the knob until I heard the click. He didn't push the door or say anything else which was nice because I was trying to keep myself together right now.

I took a step back and did what my mother had asked, I looked him in the eyes. His eyes were enchanting, so full of light I almost lost it right there. I tried to clear my head and focus on myself and what my heart was trying to tell me.

"I wanted to say I'm sorry, again," he said leaning against the closed door. It was funny almost to me, he was against my door, but I didn't feel trapped. In fact, I felt safe.

"I don't want you to apologize again," I said but it came out like a plea. His eyes exploded and I could see the devotion in him. "I don't even want an explanation."

He took a step forward and I forced myself to take one back. I felt my leg hit my bed frame and I knew that I was going to have to control myself with him this close to me. Another step closer to me and I could see him, the real him, the one that I was with that night at Herondale Manor.

"How about a confession?" he asked with a nervous look. It's so weird that he looks nervous right now, I don't think I have ever seen Jace look nervous in his entire life. Maybe that's because he's never had to do this ever in his life. I couldn't find the word to say so I nodded. "I wanted to tell you for a while, I think you're beautiful. Not in that friendly joking way or because you're pretty. I think you're entire being is beautiful," he elaborated.

I could feel my heart racing and my brain stop working but it didn't scare me that he affected me like this. It made this feel real.

"I think your talent it beautiful – your small size – your clumsiness – the way you can be yourself – even the way you can make me want to be better. It's all beautiful. And sometimes I hate it, because I don't think I could ever be good enough for you – maybe I will end up screwing up again – but it makes me want to try, harder than I ever have before. When I hurt you and I know that I did, I tried to tell myself that it had to happen. I tried to justify taking away a piece of what made you beautiful."

He looked to his hands like they were dirty and he would never get them clean enough. I wanted to say something so bad, just to remind him how special that night was for me, and I wouldn't change a thing. I decided just to say it before I could change my mind. "I'm not sorry." He looked me dead in the eyes and I could see his eyes swirling in gold, I surprised him. "I would never be sorry about that night. It meant everything to me, Jace."

"Even though I hurt you," he said like the words physically hurt him.

"Because it was you," I clarified. "And it was everything I imagined it would be."

"I've been in love with you since last year," he blurted and then looked taken aback. I don't think he intended for the words to come out like that.

"I've been in love with you since I met you," I said trying to focus my eyes on my jeans. I could feel my face turn red and I didn't want him to see that.

"That's a long time not to say anything," he said lifting my chin so I had to look him in the eyes.

"I was afraid of being disappointed," I said even though it made me feel bad. His expression waivered for a moment and I could see why. He's so close to me. I sat on my bed to give myself a few more inches of space but I didn't expect him to sit on his kneed in front of me.

Now he's even closer.

"I brought you flowers," he said smiling at me. It wasn't one of those 'award winning smiles' or one he uses to get girls, it was just his smile.

"How nice of you," I said trying to compose myself. He looked down for just another moment before squeezing his hands together and shaking them out. I was just about to ask him what was wrong when he took my hand that was placed in my lap.

"I want you, Clary," he said and my breath caught this time. Leave it to Jace to always make me speechless. "I know I have hurt you twice already, and in the same night. I know I am not perfect and I know I don't deserve your kind of beauty. But, if you'll have me, the third time can be a charm." He took something from behind his back that I realized he was hiding in his back pocket. It looked like a ring box but too big for a ring, but it still made my heart stop. "Jon helped me pick this out, because he knows you better than I do. Unfortunately, I couldn't take Izzy because she can't keep a secret, and I wasn't taking Simon." I could tell he was ranting because he was nervous but he caught himself and straightened up. "I wanted to find something that you couldn't buy yourself, which was hard because the two of you are set for life." He ranted again. "I guess what I am trying to ask is." He paused to put his fingers at the opening of the box.

"I know what you're trying to ask," I said finally and his smile grew confidently. "Yes."

He opened the box and the most beautiful antique necklace laid inside. It wasn't diamond, expensive, or even one with a fancy chain. It was a locket and it looked hand made. "It's a Herondale family heirloom. My mother owned it last." I expected to see sadness in his eyes but there wasn't.

"It's perfect."

He put a hand up to my cheek and I closed my eyes. I wanted him to kiss me - I wanted to feel his breath on my neck – I wanted this.

I opened my eyes and saw every ounce of self-control struggling for dominance in his eyes. I found my self confidence and leaned back just a tad, inching my back towards my bed. His fingers twitched to follow me but I could tell he was trying hard to stay put.

We both wanted this.

I touched the top of his hand and trailed my finger down to his fingertips. I could see the struggle in his eyes shatter like glass being dropped on the floor.

I could see his body come to life as he leaned into me. Not to kiss me yet but just to be closer. I kept an inch between us, leaning back until my back was on my bedspread.

He's breathing so heavy and mine might even be faster. I could feel my blood boil as he leaned into my neck to trace his bottom lip across my collar bone. My body ached for him since that first time but this wasn't like the first time. The first time was spontaneous and accidental, this time it's honest and heated like it is meant to happen.

My back arched into him but he held my waist tightly enough to push it back down. When my hips reconnected with my bed he leaned in closer, his entire body coming down to come just an inch above mine. "I can't do this too fast again," he said into my ear. "Not this time."

I almost let myself go right there but he was right, last time we pushed each other to the breaking point. This time we're already there and there's no need to rush.

His body rolls on mine ever so softly and my hands fly to waist. It wasn't then until I noticed that his shirt had ridden up. His muscles tightened for a moment at the contact but his skin became warm and his breath even hotter.

He places a slow kiss to the other side of my collar bone and I my head rolls back. He takes advantage of the access to neck and peppers a few more kisses up to my ear. I feel like I ran a mile but really, it's just Jace turning my body to flames.

When his lips finally connect with mine it feels like I was hit with a star gone supernova. His lips are smooth and perfect on mine and when his tongue traces mine it's exhilarating. My hands push his shirt up and trace every dimple in his sides before he lifts his arms up to slide it off completely. It takes a second before he's back where he was and my hands are back on him.

His skin ignites under me and I can feel it in every kiss he places on me. He places a kiss on my forehead but I take the chance and wrap my hands around his neck. I pull down as hard as I can because I know he's stronger than me and can easily get back up. When I can feel his chest on top of mine I leave a slow kiss on the open skin on his neck. His head leans back but I don't let go.

I trail ever so slow kisses down to his collar bone. I leave a soft kiss before going in for another one, this time harder. I have never left a hicky before to know how hard I have to go so I go all in. His hand that is still on my side tightens intensely and his hold in my blanket becomes fierce. I don't let go until he moans my name.

"Clary-," I barely even heard before my bedroom door was being opened. "Jace! What the hell?!"

I squeeze my eyes shut and try and not think about Jon standing in my room right now.