Author's Note: Greetings, beloved readers, and welcome to the first of the Inception Non-Case Files! The Non-Case Files take place in-between SPR cases, acting either as fillers or as stand-alone instances that move the story along.
Summary: Sitting in traffic in Shibuya at night, Monk discovers that Ayako forgot her purse in his car after he took her home from the case in Meguro. Curiosity gets the better of him and he decides to look through it. What does he find?
Let me know what you think! Please remember: all questions, comments, constructive criticism, and/or suggestions are welcome and appreciated. Thank you so much for reading – enjoy!
Non-Case File #1
Ayako's Purse
Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.
– Rita Mae Brown
Houshou Takigawa sank back in the driver's seat of his car and let out a low moan as he waited in the Shibuya night traffic for the light to change. Case closed on the Tomei Construction Company site, onto his next gig. Namely, his band's upcoming concert. It wasn't until tomorrow night, and he was damned sure going to sleep the whole rest of the evening and into tomorrow afternoon. Eat, drink, maybe watch some television in-between bathroom breaks, but above all sleep! He knew the riffs and chords by heart – a little rehearsal before the concert was all he really needed for preparation. Sleep was priority.
By Buddha, he wished he had his painkillers, though.
A dark scowl appeared on the bassist's face. There was a reason he no longer had his bottle of acetaminophen – Ayako Matsuzaki. That fastidious, irritating, phony shrine maiden had taken it "out of concern for his wellbeing", and the poor bottle had been presumably shut away from the ever-revolving world in the confines of her purse.
He shuddered at the thought of the object. It was demonic – he was almost positive Ayako had a demon sealed up in it somewhere. Why else would its aim be so perfect, its connection so painful? And even if it had no demonic inclinations, the accessory was still evil in its own right, and its owner by no means an angel.
And it was only a damn purse!
"Finally!" he exclaimed upon seeing the light turn green and gratefully followed the procession of cars streaming along the congested city street. The sooner he got home, the sooner he could crash. After all that mess at the Yoshimi Inn and the construction site, he needed every second of rest he could snatch.
He allowed his mind to trail back to the Tomei case, grinning a bit upon thinking of their intruding volunteer, Katsu. Despite their rather violent introduction, Takigawa actually liked the girl. She had a lot of spirit, and she certainly didn't seem to appreciate being talked down to (and she had a killer right hook to top it off – his cheek was still pretty sore). The fact that she'd openly insulted Naru was amusing in its own right.
'I sure hope she's keeping herself out of trouble… speaking of girls staying out of trouble, I should probably call Mai when I get home.'
He chuckled to himself over the rock music playing on the radio. It felt like he was always watching out for Mai. After learning she was an orphan, he'd openly accepted the position of playing the surrogate brother or even father. If Mai would allow it, Takigawa would have absolutely no problem with adopting the girl; he was fairly certain he made enough to be able to support the both of them. Between concerts and exorcisms, he actually did pretty well for himself.
Alas! Mai was particularly stubborn, as most girls and women in general tended to be. Just look at Ayako…
Damn it! There he went, thinking about that good-for-nothing priestess again!
Double damn – another red light. Just what was it with the traffic tonight?
Groaning loudly, Takigawa flung out an exasperated hand into the passenger's seat, thoroughly prepared to throw in the towel and consign himself to pulling over and sleeping in his car. But with the way his back was hurting, that didn't seem like to great of an idea at the moment…
Upon his hand landing on something distinctly foreign, the monk froze.
It wasn't his bag; that was in the backseat. It certainly wasn't anything of Mai's, of that he was certain. He was positive it was nothing of John's. The only person who'd sat in the front seat was…
'Oh, hell no!'
It was satiny; it had a zipper. He could feel the long strap in the darkness beneath his investigating fingers. There was only one thing it could be. The object of his torment, the subject of his ever-living nightmare.
Ayako's purse!
He snatched his hand up abruptly as if he'd been burned, thanking the gods as the lights changed to green and traffic began to move. His eyes darted unwittingly to the darkened curve of the passenger seat, the silhouette of the demonic object practically taunting him. Of all things Ayako Matsuzaki had to lose in his car after returning from a case, why had it been her purse?
Were anyone to have warned him of this delicate predicament prior, he would have deemed it absurd and laughable. It was a private joke of his that Ayako and whatever handbag she happened to be using had a kind of unbreakable, preternatural bond that was best if not tested. For her to lose her purse was a concluded impossibility!
And here it was: his theory refuted.
He drove in silence, his mind too far gone in turmoil to register The Fourth Avenue Café playing clearly on the radio. The music of L'Arc-en-Ciel was lost to Houshou Takigawa as he churned this latest scenario in his head.
Ayako's purse. Her purse! Separation was indeed possible! Astounding!
'Lethal,' said the nagging voice in the back of his mind. At this, Takigawa shuddered. The miko was bad enough when her beloved handbag was near and preferably on her person; what kind of she-demon would Ayako Matsuzaki manifest as upon noticing her preferred implement of torture was absent from her side? A Godzilla-esque miko popped up in his mind, the hilarity of Ayako sporting dorsal fins and a radioactive death ray in addition to her priestess attire instantaneously quashed by the realization that in reality the woman herself wasn't all that far from the imagined daikaiju portrayal.*
Dashing aside his humorous thoughts, Takigawa settled his mind on the most damning question of all: What was he going to do?
Fish out the woman's phone number and give her a call so he could return the blasted accessory was his first thought. The sooner the purse was out of his vicinity, the less he would suffer. He wasn't all that far away from Shibuya, and he doubted Ayako would have gotten far herself. And if all else failed, he could at least have Mai leave her a message.
Leaving the purse with Mai was his second option. It was a safe one, certainly: Ayako would never get angry at Mai to the point of violence (none of them could harm that girl, now that the monk thought about it), and there would be no harm done. Mai would be going to the office tomorrow anyway – Ayako could just pick it up at SPR.
Which led him to his third option: dropping the purse off at SPR tomorrow morning and making a hasty exit before the priestess could grab him. With his upcoming gig, his absence would be excusable.
He sighed heavily, The Fourth Avenue Café coming to its close and the radio announcer droning the hourly weather report. It really didn't matter how he got it back to her so long as he didn't have it with him any longer than necessary.
Unfortunately, after all the paperwork and sorting through the details that came with solving an investigation and the impromptu dinner idea Yasu had purposefully implanted into the group, it had grown late and Naru had effectively thrown them out for the night before heading presumably in the direction of wherever he lived, Lin right behind him.
Another begrudging look flitted in the direction of the purse. There was no helping it: he'd just have to hang on to it until tomorrow.
…
It stared at him, seemingly innocent but at the same time taunting.
An eyebrow twitched. He was going to leave it in the car, but the little niggling voice inside his mind had kindly reminded him that there was always a chance someone could break into his car. A laughing notion, as he personally believed there wasn't anything worth looting, but he didn't know what Ayako had in her purse. The last thing he needed on his conscience was the theft of her citizen's card and whatever other identification she had. Credit cards… cash… Who knew what she kept in there?
Ah, but that was the damning thing, wasn't it? He didn't know what was in there. That thought slammed into him after tentatively placing the feared accessory on his coffee table and grabbing a beer.
Hence his current predicament.
Takigawa stared at the purse, leaning forward a bit anxiously in his recliner. A woman's purse was a mystery to mankind, unsolved and foreboding. Not even Naru for all his arrogance and smug sense of self-superiority could possibly have unlocked the secrets of a woman's purse, though that was likely from lack of interest than from actual failure. The idea of Naru poking through Mai's purse when she wasn't looking didn't suit. If anything, he'd send Lin to do the job.
'Lin poking around in Mai's purse… now there's a funny idea…'
But Mai's purse wouldn't be all that mysterious. The girl was too carefree and approachable. And she was a teenager. At most, she'd be toting "feminine products", her wallet, train pass, citizen's card, and some money. Maybe lip gloss. Girly.
And Mai didn't use her purse as a potentially lethal weapon. Despite the amusement he'd have if the brunette were indeed to smack her boss with her small accessory, the monk knew all too well that there would be that lack of unshakable precision and harsh pain upon contact. Ayako held the record on that account.
And now he had the weapon. He had his source of torment. He could at long last investigate what lay within the zippered compartments…
'Curiosity killed the cat, you know,' Caution chided, clearly not amused.
The vindictive portion of his mind snorted. 'I'm a whole lot bigger than a cat.'
'And that purse is considerably smaller,' Caution countered, 'and it's a whole lot more destructive.'
'Only in the owner's hands.' Vindication effectively silenced Caution.
"Hehehe. Arguing with myself." Takigawa shook his head and chuckled as he pulled the offensive item towards him. "It's not a moral dilemma," he rationalized; "I'm just satiating my curiosity."
And it was damned good curiosity, he asserted. After all the crap that woman gave him, he had plenty of justification for his snooping. Just the mere thought of potential blackmail material was enough to convince him to go through with it.
The additional thought that his acetaminophen might lie somewhere in the bowels of the unknown was even further incentive.
Ziiip! The purse was opened.
He froze. Where was the proverbial puff of demonic smoke, the cries of the captured damned? Bear in mind, dear reader, while he did not truly believe such things to have occurred by the mere opening of a purse, Houshou Takigawa could not help but feel a bit jilted.
And nervous all over again! The very hand that had opened the purse tentatively entered the dark abyss, hesitating before descending quickly, grasping the very first thing his fingers brushed against and yanking back quickly to look at his captured prey.
To his surprised, it was a cell phone.
'Guess it wouldn't have helped if I'd decided to call her.' He grinned a bit. That was pretty painless. Now, what else did she have in there?
The next object he pulled was the miko's wallet. Curiosity still dragging him by the nose, Takigawa decided to sneak a peek at Ayako's citizen's card. To his surprise, he not only found that but a couple of credit cards, automobile and health insurance cards, and various other cards that he found to be of little interest. He regarded her driver's license with particular interest, chuckling to find that not even the great Ayako Matsuzaki had evaded the inevitable crummy photograph taken at the public safety commissions' office. He was a bit surprised, however, to find that she was only two years younger than he was. All those jokes on her age didn't seem quite so amusing anymore…
'But there's more than just that to harp on.'
That thought made him smile as he continued to pluck random items from her purse. For such a tiny object, the purse certainly held quite a lot! In a short space of time, Takigawa pulled out three tubes of lipstick, a small double-sided compact mirror, a pocket calendar, and various other assorted oddities.
A frustrated frown tugged at the corners of his mouth. This was getting him nowhere fast.
Without any further ado, he tipped the purse over and unceremoniously dumped its contents onto the coffee table.
He stared. He glared. His face fell, and he stared some more. It was inconceivable. How that woman could have stuffed so much… stuff in this little purse defied explanation! But at least it now explained why he hurt so much whenever the blasted accessory came in contact with him.
He randomly scooped up a tube of mascara before letting it drop to join with its compatriots. Cosmetics. He might have known. Ayako really was a vain woman, wasn't she?
He allowed his eyes to further examine the scattered contents, a scowl now affixed to his handsome but tired visage. Out of all the crap she stashed in there, why hadn't she stuffed his bottle of acetaminophen in there as well?
'Shouldn't there be something else you ought to be worrying about…?'
Sudden Realization just had to makes its guest appearance, the monk thought bitterly as a cold wave washed over his body. It was with nervous eyes that he looked to-and-fro between the purse and the items splayed over his coffee table. It was like taking a television set apart and trying to piece it back together, only much, much worse.
How was he going to get all of that stuff back into Ayako's purse?
…
It was with that air of a child caught in the act of reaching into the cookie jar that Houshou Takigawa arrived at the office of Shibuya Psychic Research Center the following morning, eyes hesitantly scanning the office over dark shades. Ascertaining that his cause of fear in becoming the quarry was evidently not in the immediate vicinity, he sighed in relief and slinked into the office, closing the door quietly behind him.
He silently cursed his band members and their new manager for changing the schedule so suddenly and without warning. His much anticipated morning of drooling over his pillows and lounging comfortably in his bed after a night of cramming cosmetics and various other items into a small red purse had been wretchedly thwarted by miscommunication and an unappreciated phone call.
Ignorance was only momentary bliss, a fact Takigawa was only too keenly aware of as he stretched in his performance costume, the rolled-up sleeves of his button-down top rising even further past his elbows as he yawned.
"Oh! Hi, Monk!" Mai's cheerful voice greeted him as she stepped out from the kitchenette. She held a small tray of two steaming teacups, presumably for the two other inhabitants of the silent office space. "Did you need to see Naru about something?"
"Uh… no," he laughed nervously. "Actually, I was wondering if I could just leave this here. I have a rehearsal to get to, so I can't return it anytime soon." He sheepishly held up the crimson purse by its strap.
Mai's eyes widened. "So that where Ayako's purse went to! She called me last night freaking out about it!" Takigawa panicked inwardly. "I know! Just leave it on my desk. I'll call Ayako and let her know you brought it in after I give Lin and Naru their tea."
Relief flooded through his system. "Thanks, Mai!" He smiled broadly. The brunette smiled in return and continued on her way, pausing to knock on her young boss's door before entering his office.
Takigawa couldn't believe his luck. This was perfect! All he had to do was set the purse on Mai's desk and he was free. He could escape to his rehearsal and live to tell the tale. Thank the gods!
Fate was said to be a fickle woman, and it was quite possibly because Fate is in fact female that Takigawa's sudden stroke of luck was so disappointingly short-lived; no sooner had he rejoiced and begun to lower the abominable accessory onto Mai's desk the door opened, revealing the redhead he'd endeavored to avoid at all costs.
The monk froze, the purse swinging slightly, mere inches from the hard wood. Ayako stood stock-still, eyes fixated on the oddly amusing image of a man wearing a dark plum shirt with the last few buttons curiously missing and exposing his lower midriff, and black faux leather low-rise pants, his hands grasping a red satin purse by its strap.
So engrossed were they in their equally stunned minds that both failed to register an irritated sigh, followed by the closing of Lin's office door.
Ayako was the first to recover. Shutting the door behind her, she strutted up to the frozen monk and immediately began her tirade.
"And just what are you doing with my purse?" she demanded, eyes glaring up at him.
Takigawa faltered.
"Oh, Ayako." The shrine maiden looked over to find Mai emerging from Naru's office. Grinning slightly, the brunette passed by the two adult on her way to place the tray back in the kitchenette. "Monk was just returning your purse. I guess you forgot it in his car after all."
"I see…" Mahogany eyes followed Naru's teenage assistant as she disappeared before rounding back on the still-stunned bassist holding onto the purse. The look on his face was absolutely devastated; he was gawking after Mai as if he couldn't believe she'd just so casually leave him out here.
Smirking, Ayako walked up to her part-time coworker and promptly snatched her no longer missing accessory from his frozen hands. The movement provoked a startled reaction from the monk, causing him to step back quickly.
Ayako then scowled. "I spent my entire night worrying over where this was! You could have at least had the decency to call me and let me know I'd left it in your car!"
Takigawa straightened himself indignantly. "Well, I would've called except it was late and you didn't have your cell phone," he defended, tilting his white cowboy hat forward to cover part of his face. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have rehearsals." And with that bravado, he swept past her and headed for the door.
He'd almost escaped. Almost.
"I can understand not calling because it was late," the priestess's eerily calm and chillingly rational voice said. "However, I am a bit surprised that you knew I didn't have my cell phone."
The bassist froze, turning hesitantly in the doorway. He met a set of dark and angry eyes.
"You looked in my purse, didn't you?"
Houshou Takigawa knew right then and there by the venomous and accusatory quality in her voice that he was going to die. And as a condemned man, he did the one thing he could think of at the moment.
He cursed and ran.
…
Naru closed his book and sighed as a cacophony of shrieks and pleading met his ears. Yet again, Takigawa and Matsuzaki were fighting, Mai attempting to act as a buffer and failing miserably. Peace never lasted at SPR headquarters for very long these days. It was practically nonexistent.
How vexing.
*~AYAKO'S PURSE: THE OMAKE! PART 1~*
A frustrated frown tugged at the corners of his mouth. This was getting him nowhere fast.
Without any further ado, he tipped the purse over and unceremoniously dumped its contents onto the coffee table.
He stared. He glared. His face fell, and he stared some more. It was inconceivable. How that woman could have stuffed so much… stuff in this little purse defied explanation! But at least it now explained why he hurt so much whenever the blasted accessory came in contact with him.
He randomly picked up one thick block of clay before letting it drop to join with its compatriots, the resulting with a teeth-jarring crash to his poor, abused table. Of all things cliché and improbable… bricks! He might have known. Ayako really was a violent woman, wasn't she?
*~AYAKO'S PURSE: THE OMAKE! PART 2~*
The monk froze, the purse swinging slightly, mere inches from the hard wood. Ayako stood stock-still, eyes fixated on the oddly amusing image of a man wearing a dark plum shirt that exposed his lower midriff, black faux leather pants, and a short white jacket over the ensemble, his hands grasping a bright red satin purse by its strap.
So engrossed were they in their equally stunned minds that both failed to register the small flash of light coming from the back, followed by the closing of Lin's office door.
Chuckling to himself, Lin settled back in his seat as his nimble fingers quickly keyed in the email address he would be sending the picture to. Now he had something to provide for Madoka's Japanese Facebook account!
*Daikaiju – the Japanese word used for describing the genre of films Godzilla and other monster fall in; daikaiju eiga, literally "giant monster movie".
A/N: I had fun writing this part. I'd gotten the idea when I was planning out the story and the cases, and somehow found myself wondering what would happen if Monk ever got his hands on Ayako's purse. And I couldn't resist the omakes. XD
Special thanks goes out to Anonymous, Foxgrl18, lil whit, and Aoi Kitsukawa for their reviews in the finale of Case File #1 (and thank you, Aoi Kitsukawa, for the information in regards to crows – I really appreciate it! ^_^). Until the next chapter (and the next case)!
