Title: Burn Both Ends
Summary: While Black Clown burned and Yuugi strained to solve the Puzzle among its flames, his other self endured struggles of his own.
Rating: K+ due to language.
Author: Phoebe Delos
Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh! DM
Spoilers: The events of the Dungeon Dice Monsters arc+indirect details of prior arcs. Mangaverse!
Disclaimer: Yu-Gi-Oh! isn't mine!
Notes: Catching up my releases with my Ao3! (And yup, I decided to go ahead and add this as the end of These Days We Celebrate… this is it! The end of the canon-compliant puzzleshipping stories between Duelist Kingdom and Battle City! So… either you can go back to the pain of canon, or join me in Reconfiguration or Gambling With Destiny! Because denial is blissful.
Broken.
…Scattered…
…He was scattered…
Floating… pieces here… and there… and nowhere… Little chunks of him loose… loose… pieces of him loose… and lost… and floating…
But sliding closer.
Tabs finding holes.
Grooves finding grooves.
Blanks in his mind filling back up as the missing parts of him fell back into place with a clink.
Clink!
Klik!
…Thoughts… a desire, sifting through him… flowing through him as his jumbled bits righted themselves and settled into place and allowed for a full, complete thought.
A complete word.
Want.
He wanted… wanted to see him.
Him…
…Him who?
Who? he whispered without voice or words or the capacity to ask. No, the question floated through his mind as a breeze, not a thought. A disturbance, not confusion. A disturbance of the endless scattering. His sense ofself had returned, but his comprehension of that self still evaded him.
But that same desire that overpowered him guided him into place.
Coaxed him into being.
Wanted… wanted to see him.
To see who?
…Himself.
He… wanted to see himself?
…No.
No, not he. It was himself, but… that want? It was… not his… it was elsewhere.
It came from elsewhere.
From… who? Who wanted to see him?
…Who… Who–
Klik!
…
Klik!
…
Klik!
…aibou.
That was… his partner thinking that. His desire.
His wish.
His–
The spirit of the Puzzle opened his eyes.
He tripped forward, fell to his hands and knees. Rough, dark stone scratched his palms as his mind reeled to comprehend.
To remember.
He was… he was in the bowels of his own labyrinth heart, in some meaningless corner. Where he just happened to come back together again after… after he was… he was… He had been in pieces! He… his partner… he had been in that new game shop! Grabbed! They had been separated and someone he had not known had taken him! Had…
…
What had happened?
Where was his partner?
He shot his senses out to the twin soul that shared his heart and mind.
Aibou!
There! A sweet, pained relief echoed back to him like a cry, bouncing off of the endless walls around him until it could be heard everywhere, all around him.
Yuugi was there… and he had heard him.
But even as his own relief and confusion flared forth in answer? Rushed through the doors and paths of the maze to reach that other soul?
The… the feelings faded away.
Yuugi faded away.
The spirit froze mid-rise, his mind rushing and heart refusing to comprehend what he was sensing… and then he was running. Charging blindly forward through path after path of cracked stone with an innate awareness ofwhich turns to take and which stairs to stumble down to reach it.
The door out of his soul.
The door to reach him.
Aibou! he cried out again, hand reaching for the handle, and–
It wouldn't open.
He turned it, tugged on it, strained to wrench it open, but though the handle itself moved, the metal door refused to budge.
He was locked in.
Why?! he screamed, but no one replied, and his mind raced with the screaming strain of a single possible answer.
The door wouldn't open… because it had nothing to connect to…
Yuugi wasn't there.
No, he refused, and… and blessedly, when he raised a hand to the metal eye, and pressed it to the cool surface? He found his denial wasn't in vain.
He was there… he could feel Yuugi there.
And the revelation was so sweet he could have cried, but… but he was so faint! The pulsing light of his partner's soul, so bright he could usually sense it loud and clear even in the depths of his own room, was nothing but the flicker of a candle in the distance, so dim that it gave off only an echoed memory of warmth.
And the spirit strained for it, stretched his senses around it and tried desperately to pull that echo to him, to the door, so that he could open it and get out and see his partner!
Why… why was he so faint? Even when Yuugi slept he was never this dim or distant, so why?!
And why had he been broken apart? How was he back together again?
Yuugi must have put him back together again, but… but what had happened?!
What is wrong? he called out to that candlelight, begging it to answer. Why can't I reach you?!
But the light didn't answer.
Yuugi just flickered, a quiet distress pulsing through him and threatening to tear what remained of him apart completely under the force of that harsh emotion.
The reaction made the spirit jerk back, take two steps away from the door with wide, stricken eyes.
That… that had been his own distress.
Yuugi had felt it… echoed it.
He had almost torn his partner apart!
He swallowed hard, and clenched his hands to make them stop shaking.
He had to… had to calm down. He wasn't helping. Just… scraping what was left of Yuugi to pieces.
So he breathed… pushed his anxiety down to a needlepoint… and reached out again, touching the door with quiet, steady eyes.
I'm here, he whispered into the dark, pressing the thought through to the quiet light beyond. I'm with you.
It was all he could think to say that wouldn't unravel his own distress, and hurt his partner… but it worked. The light went still again, still faint… but it was steady. Pulsing to a beat that thrummed reassurance through the spirit's own heart.
And he listened to it, shut his eyes and breathed in time with it, let it push back the impulse to do more.
Let it wash away the helpless awareness that he could do nothing more.
He clung to the proof of his partner's continued existence, and waited… prayed…
And then a new mind roared through the silence.
Let go!
The spirit's eyes burst open and he pressed both hands against the door, leaning into the metal in a desperate bid to confirm and keep his awareness of that third, unexpected presence.
Jounouchi!
For it was. He would recognize him anywhere, and there was no need to strain himself to hear his friend's thoughts. Jounouchi was screaming all around him, in his mind and– and out in reality, too.
The spirit was still trapped. He couldn't get out or show himself outside of the Puzzle without his partner as a conduit. But he could still see something of the world through Jounouchi's screaming thoughts. He didn't have his eyes, but the man was looking around and thinking and considering all about him in his mind, so in a sense the spirit could see, and–
He nearly collapsed as he realized.
Fire.
They were in a fire… Yuugi was in a fire.
That was why the spirit was trapped, and couldn't sense him properly… Yuugi was unconscious.
In a fire.
And Jounouchi couldn't get him out.
No, the spirit breathed, his mind screaming a sick echo of the desperate despair he sensed in his friend's mind… But Yuugi was still there, the distant bits of him that remained skittering wildly about in a backlash to his other self's horror. And so the spirit steeled himself against his own reaction. Against the feelings distracting him from reaching out.
From listening.
Move your hand! Let go of the Puzzle! You'll die if you–
Yuugi… wasn't letting go… His partner was holding onto the Puzzle, even unconscious, and it was somehow…
His chest pulsed with an ache, and for one, brief breath, he considered… if he could just repeat Jounouchi's demand, and tell Yuugi to let go –
But it was pointless. Yuugi was barely there, he… the spirit couldn't convince him of anything when he was like this!
What am I supposed to do?! Shit!
The spirit grit his teeth, pushed passed that first, most obvious solution, and screamed out.
Jounouchi!
That third mind went blank with clear, tart shock, and his friend's thoughts breathed his borrowed named into the silence.
Yuugi…
Can you get me loose? he asked, arms crossing and clenching tight as he shut his eyes and strained to understand the room around his partner and friend through secondhand thoughts alone. If you can't get aibou away from the Puzzle, can you free the Puzzle from… What? What was even keeping the Puzzle in that burning building?!
He didn't know, but it didn't matter in the end. The suggestion alone sent off a spree considerations in his friend's head, and then–
Yes!
The spirit jerked up straight, his nonexistent heart pounding in his chest as he followed what little he could comprehend of the movements outside the maze, and the Puzzle.
He had done it. Jounouchi had the Puzzle loose, had Yuugi, was escaping… the desperation pulsing from his mind was stilling!
The spirit squeezed his eyes tight… then let the tension slide out of him on a slow breath, a soft smile catching at his lips as he looked again at nothing, and listened to Jounouchi's thoughts.
Yuugi was fine. He would be alright.
That was what he was saying.
…And then the connection between them ebbed away.
Jounouchi must have put Yuugi down, or somehow been distanced from him, for once again the spirit was alone with the soft, dim glow of his partner's heart.
You will be alright, he echoed– insisted as he placed a hand back on the door. I am with you. We are all with you, aibou. You will be fine.
And it might have just been his imagination, but the spirit could have sworn his partner's soul twinkled in reply.
…Then he was gone.
The shift came so suddenly, so unheralded, that it took some time for his confusion to slide into chest-freezing alarm.
What–
…He was fine, he decided, staggering forward under the daze of his own distress, cresting and toppling faster than he could comprehend. Both hands found the door and he used it to keep himself upright as he repeated the assurance to himself. Yuugi was fine… They just… they must have finally gotten the Puzzle away from him, so he… he couldn't sense him, but he was still… still…
…
There was no one there anymore, he was sure of that.
No one who knew to sense him there. No friends straining to save anyone. No partner needing his composure or strength.
No one there to notice when the dam finally broke in his heart and he fell to his knees, braced his arms and head against the door… and shook.
He was alive… Yuugi was alive! He was!
…But… Jounouchi might have ignored it. Might not have said it… and the spirit might not have been there to observe it, but he knew.
Even if they did not burn, he knew… people did not usually die in a fire from burning.
They suffocated.
They lost consciousness, and choked to death among the flames.
And Yuugi had passed out. Had died down to nothing more than a candle in the night.
He won't go out, he insisted to no one as the tears finally gathered in his eyes, and one fist rose to beat against the door.
He won't.
And he slammed his hand again, and again, straining to shatter any fear in his own heart because he would not accept it!
He will come back! He has to! He can't–
And the spirit could not feel physical pain in that place. Could not bleed. Could not wear out.
And that truth stole any solace from hitting the door, so he soon stilled… curled up and huddled close to the hard, cool surface. Floated in his thoughts and his misery… even then straining to sense a soul that was not there.
He couldn't lose him… he couldn't stand it.
Not that.
It didn't matter that no one else could ever open that door, or that he would be trapped in that place again, potentially forever, potentially in pieces. For who else could ever find him again if his partner was not there to solve the Puzzle?
But that was truly the irony… for the spirit could accept that fate. Could accept being shattered for eternity, never understanding who he was, never fulfilling the quiet pull in his heart to find out, never seeing another living face or even having a sense of self again, if the sole person who could put him back together would just live!
Because he couldn't… he couldn't imagine existing in a world where Yuugi wasn't there.
He couldn't… he… he didn't want to.
…And that thought echoed back at him, bleak and heavy and unacceptable in its way, he knew… But the spirit stared at it, and found no will to deny it.
So he shut his eyes to it. To the truth, and the unknown, the potential reality before him and his powerlessness before it… turned and leaned his head and his side against the cold metal, and waited.
Waited… for an answer.
For a sound on the other side of the door.
…Time could never drag as cruelly as it did in that single night.
But it could have been a single hour or a thousand years, it did not matter. The spirit's mind screamed and strained across the span just the same, right up until the last.
When a light finally sparked in the dark.
Eyes burst wide at that first, groggy flutter, and he stood, went still, didn't even dare to think until… yes! There! He was in his hands! It was–
Mou hitori no boku?
His mouth curled up, and wide, and wider and he braced a hand against the door to keep himself upright as elated relief flooded him so fast that it stung his eyes and left him dizzy and–
He sucked in a sharp breath, instinctively fighting to curb the happiness running rampant in his veins so that he could center himself, school his features, and finally open that door.
It gave way without a single scrape of stone.
The spirit didn't even glance at the hall beyond.
He left the Puzzle.
Aibou, he breathed on sight, for there he was. Yuugi. His partner… holding the Puzzle, sitting in an unfamiliar bed, in a hospital gown, scrapes and cuts and bandages covering every bit of skin visible.
And Yuugi looked up, saw him… and began to cry.
The sight tore open the fresh wound of the spirit's composure, for he had meant… he had meant to smile. To admire and thank and praise.
And all of those emotions and intentions still swam in his heart, but they quaked under the greater need to contain his tears as Yuugi gave way to a watery smile.
"I found you," he breathed, words barely audible beneath the tears welling in his eyes and the relief shining in his face. "I found you… I got to see you again!"
See… him…
"What? What'd you say, kid?" someone was saying behind the spirit– a patient in another bed.
But he didn't look. Yuugi kept smiling at him, tears running undisturbed down his cheeks, and the spirit couldn't stand beneath that gaze.
He fell to the bed, 'sitting' on its edge to face his partner, so close his hip brushed his leg and a numb feedback reminded him that they could not touch. Not properly.
That didn't stop a hand from rising without his input for his partner's face, hovering a breath away from his bandaged cheek as he fought to keep his expression steady, his voice clear.
Aibou…
That was it. That was all he could manage.
And Yuugi smiled for him.
Grabbed his hand and squeezed it through the pulse of dull static that struck them both as the spirit gave in to the urge to lean in close, just linger in his partner's presence, bask in the proof that he was there… he wasalive… he hadn't lost him.
And Yuugi must have understood, because he leaned in, too. Hovered so close that their breaths could have mingled, had the spirit had a breath to share.
"I wanted to tell you," his partner whispered, squeezing his eyes shut against his other self's aching gaze. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry I let them shatter you."
And finally the spirit shut his eyes, too. Swallowed past the tears threatening to spring up from his throat.
Yuugi… he had nearly died, because of him, while he could do nothing but sit there in the dark and wait, because he was nothing more than a ghost, helpless without his partner's support… And Yuugi was apologizing tohim?
I'm sorry, too, he whispered back, and he felt it as confusion touched his partner's mind, but he did not answer it.
He just kept his mind closed… and held on.
As Yuugi did.
Even as the raw emotions ebbed away, and explanations and reassurances were shared, and the boy finally lied back on the bed and drifted off to sleep? Still, Yuugi didn't let go.
And neither did he.
The spirit just sat there, on the bed, staring at their joined hands… and smiled. Considered all that he had nearly lost, and all that Yuugi had done to not lose him…
And his heart ached.
For he knew… he shouldn't be there.
Shouldn't exist there.
He had felt it in every second of that eternity that he spent in the dark, powerless to help, left waiting for that precious soul to return on his own, and connect him to the outside world.
The living world.
A world he was not part of.
Not really.
Not… without his partner to connect him to it.
And Yuugi… first Pegasus, and now Otogi.
How many times would the Puzzle… would he drag him to the brink of death, just by being linked to him?
How many times… before the truth behind Pegasus's mysterious story became clear?
Egypt… Something drew him to that country. To the Items that came from it, and… the place Pegasus spoke of. He could feel it in the bones he did not have. Something in him ached incessantly for that horizon, for the solution to that mystery, and nothing would ever be quite right until he gave into that pull.
And… until he did, he felt it… things like this? Yuugi, knocking on death's door? It was just going to keep happening.
So long as he was there.
And… he couldn't pretend not to know that anymore.
He could ignore it, hide from it, deny it, but… he knew now. Knew it… because the truth lay before him, covered in burns and scrapes.
Because the truth stood in contrast to that he wanted.
What he wished.
Where he wished to be… wished to stay.
And that was there… right there… holding that hand.
And even as his hand– their hands stung at every point of contact? With a sensation of wrong? Of the living and the dead touching where they should not? Where it should not even be possible?
Yuugi… didn't let go…
…And neither did he…
Not yet.
