Chapter 12

Armando was fortunate to find a local farmer still working in the late evening. Within moments he captured the man's mind and Armando created a feeling of friendship. The farmer would only remember that his neighbor Mikhail sent his greetings and wanted Armando to introduce himself. The SongMaker called the man and within moments bent his head to feed. He was careful to heal the wound with his tongue and continue to make the farmer feel as if nothing happened other than the two of them talking.

As Armando left the farm, he stared up into sky filled with stars. He thought of all the times he'd looked at them and dreamed he was back here in his homeland; free of the wizard Javier. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to block out the memories, but found it impossible…

"Where are we going?" asked Armando as they traveled on horseback further and further away from the Carpathian mountains. Prince Vlad had commanded he follow Javier who seemed determined to find a way to sustain emotions for the Carpathian males. Reluctantly, Armando obeyed. While he would always honor whatever order his prince gave, the SongMaker was weary. His strength was fading and his emotion was gone. For a time, he had brief surges of feeling when he sang. But now, there was nothing left, not even for the children of the village who tried endlessly to follow him in hopes of seeing the oldest Carpathian smile again.

The wizard gave a light laugh and urged the white stallion he rode to gallop even faster. "I can imagine this is quite a slow pace for you. I myself enjoy traveling by horse. It is amazing to me that such a magnificent animal such as this obeys my every command."

"You did not answer my question," said Armando as he urged his own stallion to catch up to Javier.

"We must travel by the sea. Soon enough in the next day we will be boarding a ship I secured. I could ask for you to fly us over the ocean, but I'm not ready to risk the safety of my beautiful stallion just yet."

Armando looked over at the wizard. "Are you saying I am that close to turning?"

Javier eyes appeared to soften. "Although you have been my friend for only a short period of time, I sense it is upon you. It was wise of prince Vlad to make this decision. Together, we will find the answer which shall sustain your life."

"Perhaps I have no desire to continue such a life."

"Oh come now, do not tell me you have not dreamed of your future lifemate."

"My sense of honor comes before all else. I would rather face the dawn than risk turning to vampire."

"I will not allow either of those things to happen."

The SongMaker stared at the rocky road ahead. "You seem quite confident."

"I must keep some sense of focus," Javier replied. "As should you. Still, it may help to lift my own spirits if you use your gift. You have the most beautiful voice. "

Armando did not feel like singing…he did not feel anything. But he would do what he could to assist his friend. He lifted his chin and began to sing, his voice carrying the tune of an ancient Carpathian song he sang many times to soothe and calm even the most distressed of souls.

When the song ended, Javier smiled. "Interesting. Your notes still have the same effect on me but not yourself. Do you feel nothing at all when you now sing?"

"There is nothing," replied Armando in a flat voice.

"How terrible for you. The one gift you have that for so long has helped aid other warriors but cannot help yourself."

They rode in silence for the next few hours. Armando sensed the dawn was near and he shifted uncomfortably on his stallion.

"Do not worry," said Javier. "There is a cave nearby where we will rest. I have something I wish to show you that I found there."

Armando raised an eyebrow. "You have been here before?"

"A friend of mine, the wizard Xavier, told me that he was experimenting with some of the richest minerals found in soil for some of his spells. I believe what I found will aid my purpose as well."

"What do you mean?"

"There," said Javier pointing to a large rocky mountain. "Unfortunately it is still some distance away. The sun will be up soon, so I must trust in you to carry us there."

For some reason, Armando did not like that Javier avoided his question, but he had no reason to distrust the wizard. Some of Javier's spells had indeed brought him fleeting emotions. Prince Vlad had been impressed and believed if anyone could find a solution, it was him. The SongMaker shifted into the form of an enormous dragon. He calmed the horses as he carefully reached down and captured them within his talons, carrying them safely to the mountain. He circled for a short time before Javier pointed out where the entrance was to the cave. After safely setting them at the mouth of the cave, Armando shifted back into human form.

"Excellent," chimed Javier. "Thank you, my friend."

Armando slowly entered the cave, grateful for the darkness as the sun was beginning to dawn. His body felt sluggish and weak. Without hesitation, he walked further down the dark tunnel, seeking the solitude of the earth. What surprised him was a dim light, far off into the distance.

"What is that?"

"You will see," replied Javier with what sounded like an excited tone.

The sun was rising. "I must rest."

"Of course, very soon. But I want to try something."

As Armando came upon the strange glow, he realized there was a small area where the walls were lined with some type of glittering minerals. He heard Javier's voice, chanting something under his breath and Armando froze.

"What is the matter, friend?" asked Javier.

Armando began to breathe heavily. "There is something…different."

"Different?"

"I…cannot explain."

"Do you feel something?" asked the wizard with a gleam in his eyes.

"No…"

"Ah, but I think you do. I only need to tell you how to feel."

Before he could ask what he meant, Javier chanted something he did not understand and a surge of power struck Armando so hard it took his breath away. Dear God, he felt…relief. A wave of emotions flowed through him. He gasped and whirled around to look at Javier.

"What is this?"

Javier laughed. "What do you think?"

A burst of joy hit Armando. "Have you really found the answer? Something to do with these minerals?" He gazed at the walls with happiness. "I can feel…I feel everything."

"Indeed."

"We must share this immediately with the prince," said Armando with excitement. But suddenly the happy emotion he felt was sucked out of him, and the SongMaker staggered toward one of the walls. He was back to his normal state with no emotion and his body weak from the rising sun.

"I think not," said Javier in a low voice. Armando turned to look at him and was shocked to see an evil smile upon the man's face. "Look around you. This is a very small sample of minerals. It is only enough to use on you."

"There must be more. Or perhaps only a small quantity is needed."

Javier laughed low. "Only with my secret spell does it work to do as I bid. Do you really think I would share this wondrous secret with anyone else?"

"Why would you not?" demanded Armando.

"Oh please, think of it! I, Javier, control the oldest Carpathian. Why would I want to share that secret? It gives me respect and power in the wizarding world. They laughed at my ideas, the thought that I could find a way to control others. But like my beautiful stallion, you shall become my prize to show. Xavier will have no choice but to appreciate what I have done and perhaps even consider sharing some of his recent experiments with me."

"What experiments?" Armando asked with confusion. He did not know the wizard Xavier well, only that the man wanted to share his talents and teachings with the Carpathian people.

"Immortality of course. He has made progress. It is only a matter of time before a solution is found."

Armando shook his head. He would warn the prince and immediately reached out on his private link.

Pain sliced through his head and Armando fell to his knees. Each time he tried to reach out to Prince Vlad, the pain hit hard and was agonizing.

"Hurts, does it not?"

Armando tried to keep his head from splitting in two. "What…is…this?'

"You are mine and will only do as I command."

He grit his teeth in response. "Never."

The wizard muttered a spell and Armando was suddenly on his feet, the feeling of emotion fully restored. But instead of feeling anger, only gratitude surged through him. The feeling of relief was back, his body eagerly accepting any emotion it could find, no matter if it was controlled by him or not.

"Stop," choked Armando as he tried to fight the sensation.

"Very well."

Once more the feeling was sucked out of him and Armando fell to the floor of the cave. He was exhausted and found himself violently shaking. He was suddenly desperate for the emotion, the withdrawal almost as worse as the pain in his head when he tried to contact prince Vlad.

Javier kneeled down beside him. "It is useless to fight it. You will go to ground and tomorrow…tomorrow will be a new beginning for us."

Armando shuddered at the memory. Javier had been right…it was a new beginning for him; a journey into a hell he could never had imagined. He soon learned that fighting was indeed useless. It was complete torture, being forced to feel what he knew was not logical. The oldest Carpathian was now nothing but a puppet. He prayed for death, even tried to find ways to commit suicide. But Javier's control was absolute, using emotion to control his every thought to prevent ending his life.

Eventually, Armando had no choice but to endure the emotion forced upon him but found a way to fight just enough so he still had some control. It was painful, but he refused to feel the full extent of happy or joyful emotions Javier used on him. This was especially true when the wizard had guests in his home. To the best of his ability, he remained stoic, refusing to even smile as wave after wave of happiness filled him. Despite this, Javier's colleagues were extremely impressed and it quickly catapulted Javier into the highest level of society. Armando's life became nothing more than being Javier's prized possession and his voice was frequently used for entertainment at elaborate parties. Still, he fought every joyful sensation, every feeling of happiness that the wizard created.

Anger, on the other hand, was something Armando fully accepted whenever given the chance. Javier usually used that particular emotion when he wanted Armando to defend him, sometimes even chancing upon vampires to destroy. But the wizard was always wise enough to immediately withdraw all sensation once any threat was removed. Many times, Armando found himself in the full throes of withdrawal, his body violently shaking from the horrible pain brought on by his emotional addiction created by Javier. Sometimes it would take even weeks for him to recover from such a withdrawal.

"Who are you?" asked a small voice.

So engrossed had Armando been in his memories that he did not see the farmer's little girl who came up behind him. He whirled around and looked down at her. His heart began to pound and his palms grew sweaty.

"Go back inside," the SongMaker said in a shaking voice.

What is wrong?

Armando's heart leapt. Janelle had just reached out to him. No doubt she felt his distress. He tried to calm himself. Nothing, he answered. I thank you for your concern, he added.

"What are you doing here?" asked the little girl.

Armando desperately wanted to leave, afraid she might even reach out and touch him.

Why are you afraid of a child? Janelle's voice was incredulous.

I am…just afraid for her. She should not be out in the darkness of the night.

It doesn't feel that way to me, she answered. It's like there's something else…

Armando clenched his jaw, a streak of fear running through him. Please…not yet…he was not ready yet to reveal the crime he committed to his lifemate. He glared at the little girl. "Go back inside now or you will be hurt."

"By who?"

Armando hissed. "By me! Now go!"

The little girl's eyes grew wide and she ran back into the house.

He felt Janelle's shocked response. You wouldn't hurt a child.

I just needed to say something that would make her return to the safety of her house.

You could have just walked her inside.

He changed the subject. I am returning. Armando waited for a heartbeat and where there was no response, he transformed into an owl. He flew back to Mikhail's home, landing on the rail of the verandah. He was startled to find the lifemate of the prince sitting in a nearby rocking chair. For a moment, his heart nearly stopped as he thought she was rocking Mikhail's newborn son within her arms. He didn't want to panic at the sight of another child. But to his relief, he saw she instead held a pup. She looked up at him and Armando transformed to human. He bowed low to her. "Good evening."

Raven went back to looking at the small animal within her arms. "Someone killed a pack of wolves," she said, her voice filled with grief. "This small little one is all that remains of his family."

"I am sorry,' said the SongMaker softly. "Do you have any clues to who did such a thing?"

A tear rolled down her cheek. "No. But it was a massacre. We are hoping to raise this one with Ivory's pack of wolves."

"Is there anything you would like me to do?"

Raven slowly stood, her eyes suddenly narrowing. "No, I think you've done quite enough since introducing yourself to us."

Armando cringed. "Have you spoken with Janelle?"

"I don't need to speak with her to know what pain she is in. But no, I haven't yet. Mikhail spoke with her briefly this evening and now she is out in the garden." She turned on her heel and walked into the house.

Armando heard a sigh and then the voice of the prince. "You must forgive her. It will take some time to understand the decision I made about you."

"It was I who forced the decision on you, Mikhail. I deserve her anger as well as that of all the females. It is wrong not to give a lifemate any choice with being bound to the male."

Mikhail arched an eyebrow. "There are many times our males have no choice either. They must claim their lifemate or turn."

Armando looked toward the garden, his eyes already searching for Janelle. "Long ago, our females did have some choice. Many even knew their lifemate years before they were bound to each other. It gave each of them time to learn about themselves and the world independently."

"That time has long since past," replied Mikhail. "I can only hope you will add to our hope that the future will once more find traces of what used to be. I believe you are part of that key."

Armando felt a lump in his throat as he was unsure if he was really meant to be any part of a solution for their future. "Was the wolf pack destroyed by a vampire?"

Mikhail rubbed the back of his neck. "We are uncertain. Some were shot while others were killed by arrows. So it appears humans were involved. There are none in the nearby town who would ever do such a thing. So one has to wonder if the work of a vampire was still involved."

"If I may be of any assistance, please let me know."

The prince nodded. "There is one thing I would ask. I assume you will be looking to create a home of your own when the time is right."

Armando nodded. "It still feels like it will take quite some time before she is completely ready to start a new life, but yes. I do not wish to impose, especially as your lifemate is unhappy with my presence."

Mikhail smiled. "I believe I would face the wrath of my lifemate with or without you in my home. But as you said, it will take time for Janelle to fully accept you. I would ask that you allow the locals to build your home rather than you instantly creating one. We do what we can for them and they tend to be too proud just to simply accept gifts from us. We find allowing them to offer their talents eases their suspicion and makes them feel worthy of the money we pay them. Of course, should they do anything you dislike, you can quietly change it at a later time."

Armando thought about the idea and remembered Janelle's brief excitement over creating a new home. Material items may not win her heart, but it certainly helped to pave the way in giving them both something to work on together. "I agree with your suggestion, Mikhail. If it will help with your locals, then I will do what I can."

"It is settled then. I will give a heads up to the local architect that when you will contact him when you are ready."

Armando thanked the prince and then walked toward the garden. He found Janelle sitting by the fountain again. He held his breath as he approached her, feeling like he was walking on eggshells as he was uncertain how she was feeling.

"I think I'm learning how to block my mind from you," she said without looking at him.

He exhaled. "Because you continue to reject me."

She turned her head. "No…I mean…I don't know you yet. I just meant that I was trying to get used to this whole…mind sharing thing."

Armando walked closer. "And by learning to close off your mind, you feel this gives you some of the privacy you seek."

"I know it's not important to you, but it is to me."

Actually, Armando was beginning to understand this with how he had been feeling moments ago in front of the farmer's child. He could not lie to his lifemate but if he found a way to not volunteer information, that might be for the best. Luckily, she'd only briefly touched his mind and hadn't taken the time to really dive into his thoughts and memories.

"Is it true you would have died if Mikhail had decided for you to do so?"

The SongMaker stiffened. "Yes."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

He shrugged indifferently. "It would not have lessened the pain you were feeling."

"True," she said softly, "but I do want to know everything that matters."

Guilt swamped Armando as he hadn't told her everything about his past, including the wizard Javier. But another sensation drifted through him. He looked at her closely and found her skin translucent. "You need to feed."

Janelle's stomach tied in knots. "I don't want to drink blood. Can I really not eat food?"

"You will become sick if you do."

She swallowed hard. "I just can't bring myself to do it."

"I can help you," he offered.

Janelle slightly trembled. "Like before…you did it before and I can't really remember other than having some knowledge that it happened."

He nodded and did not move. Armando wanted this to be her decision.

"Okay, let's just get it over with," she muttered.

Not exactly the most romantic of thoughts, but Armando would take whatever he could get from her. Slowly, he walked over and sat down on the bench with her. "Come here," he whispered. She scooted closer and Armando took her within his arms. He held her for a short time, just simply stroking her hair while she continued to tremble. He could feel wetness on his shirt and he immediately tilted her chin up to him with his fingers. Armando bent down and kissed the tears rolling down her face. "You are my lifemate," he said in a husky voice. "We are meant for each other." He captured her mind and the tears stopped. Never taking his eyes off of hers, he slowly unbuttoned his shirt. He gave the command to feed and she leaned forward to comply.

The minute her teeth pierced his chest, Armando let out a curse. His body roared for release and he wanted her underneath him while he plunged into her softness until she screamed with pleasure. Armando tightened his hold on her and forced himself to remain still. He never wanted to take advantage of her. She needed to trust him.

He let out a long sigh. But then, how could she trust him when he hid such a dark secret? Armando closed his eyes. The road ahead of them was going to be a long one indeed.

Author's note: I'm not used to how this author does POV so forgive me as I begin to try and switch back and forth between the characters within the same section. I more comfortable doing one at a time in each section but do find with how complicated the characters are, it makes sense to switch more often. Anyway, thanks to those of you giving reviews. I really appreciate them as they help motivate me to write more. -Anne