Chapter 12 – Bones inner turmoil

Bones wakes with a throbbing headache. She knows its a tension headache not to mention she didn't get enough sleep the night before. She looks at the clock and sighs because its still to early to call Cam and let her know that she won't be coming into work today.

Bones gets out of bed and goes into the kitchen and puts water on to make herself some tea. She grabs her lap top so that she can write a couple of chapters only to find that she can't concentrate. She puts the lap top down and move to the kitchen to prepare her cup of tea. Bones takes her tea and grabs the throw on the back of the couch and heads out to the balcony where she takes in the scenery, the sun has barely come up over the horizon. After some time thinking about what she needs to do and what direction she is suppose to go in now, she starts to think about Booth again.' Her mind then goes to his emails and text messages.

How am I suppose to believe and trust anything he has to say? He has a type he always revert back to aside from Cam and I don't fit that mold. He talks about some people you just aren't suppose to sleep with then in the same week he falls into bed with Rebecca and Cam. I turn down the possibility of relationship between us and he goes off to war and screws the first woman who throws herself at him. What about forming connections and breaking the law of physics and becoming one.'

Did he tell her the same thing – he sees them going somewhere as he claimed with me when we first met? Is that what he says when he wants to sleep with someone?

Would it have made a difference if she would have kept in contact during those seven months apart. I mean we were barely communicating before he left. Neither of us were trying to talk about happened. I know I wouldn't have brought it up while he was at war. I needed him to focus on what he was doing and not be distracted so that he could come back in one piece and alive. That's why I decided to wait to tell him when we returned that I had changed my mind. I wanted to see the expression on his face, the look in his eyes when I said " I love you" for the first time.

Instead I find out that for the last two months he's been having sex with a woman he just met. And he confides in this woman about personal things that happened between us. It may have just been satisfying biological urges as he claims but that doesn't mean it hurts any less. I know that I love him but how am I suppose to believe and trust his feelings for me? How does he expect me to even do that.

Bones gets up to go back inside to check the time. Noticing that its 8:30 am now, she turns on her cell phone and sends two text messages. The first one goes to Cam, letting her know that she won't be in today and that she won't be available for consulting. The other one to Angela to let her know that she is OK but she just needs some time to herself but she will call her soon. And then she turns her phone back off and returns to her room to lay down.

Not being able to rest she gets up and heads to the bathroom to take a hot shower. After her shower and toweling off, she grabs her robe and puts it on as she looks for an outfit for the day. Bones decides she needs to get out of the hotel room for awhile and explore her surroundings. While searching for something to wear she hears knocking at her door. Thinking it is housekeeping checking to see if she needs anything she pulls the door open only to come face to face with Seeley Booth.

Before she can respond, Booth steps into her personal space, gently nudges her chin up towards him as he leans in and passionately kisses her. Leaving her breathless he rests his forehead against hers and says in a low sexy voice, "I love you Bones!"