I don't think I've ever done updates this close together but this chapter practically wrote itself because I've had it planned since day 1. It just got lost somewhere along the way.
Enjoy and remember to review!
I don't look back to spot where I fell
Don't you look back, and don't you ever tell
'Cause we know pride, it doesn't heal all that well
All that well, all that well
Addison awoke to the sound of her cell vibrating on the bed stand. She looked at the clock, 5:12. She leaned across the bed and answered, unsure of who would be calling that early.
"Hello?"
"Addy! I thought I'd get your voicemail. But I was calling because I just got off the phone with mom and…"
Addy grumbled, "Nance, do you have any idea what time it is?"
The other woman paused, "Eight."
She rolled onto her back, "No Nancy, I'm in Seattle…three hour time difference. Three hour. And I just got off an 18 hour shift."
Nancy remained quiet for a minute.
"I'm so sorry Addison. I still forget you're not in New York sometimes. I almost dialed your number at the hospital…good thing I didn't do that. That would've been awkward."
She couldn't help but laugh as Nancy rambled on. If that woman could do one thing it was talk.
"It's ok Nance. Was there a reason you were calling? You mentioned mom…is she alright?"
"Oh yeah. I was just talking to her and she said you haven't returned any of her calls."
Addison closed her eyes, "I just, I don't know if I can talk to her yet."
She trailed off. They were the only family she had, what if they didn't want her?
"Seriously Addy. We've had this talk before. Mom still loves you. Even after you not returning her calls. But then again she knows you can be just as stubborn as Derek."
Addison cleared her throat telling Nancy she was rambling again.
"Well, getting back to my point. I was talking to her and she said you haven't called her back about coming home for Christmas."
She sighed, "Nancy…you know my answer to that."
"Which is yes? Because otherwise that would make it three Christmases you haven't been here. The kids are wondering where their Aunt Addy is. And we all miss you. A lot. It feels incomplete without you"
The word registered with her. Incomplete.
"Oh Nance. I miss you guys too. But I just can't…I mean what about Derek?"
She could hear the slight annoyance in Nancy's tone as she continued, "Not that it should matter but Derek already said no. Apparently spending Christmas with his slutty intern is more important."
"I'd really prefer you not to call her 'slutty intern.' She is actually a very talented surgeon…"
Addison was cut off by Nancy again. If she didn't love her so much she may have minded.
"Intern or not, Derek is choosing to make this his fifth Christmas without us and that is his choice. You on the other hand have no choice. Mom will freak if you don't come. You know her blood pressure has been much too high for her own good lately…"
"Don't you dare guilt trip me Nancy. I do have a choice in this matter."
She heard Nancy grumble before talking again, "Fine, you do have a choice but we all really want to see you. And, I'm not supposed to tell anyone but Karen is pregnant…again."
Addison gasped, "Really! I thought Tom had the little snip snip."
"That's what we all thought. She's going to make the announcement at Christmas about baby number six," Nancy paused, drawing out the suspense, "And Tom doesn't know. Do you really want to miss that?"
Addison sighed while shaking her head. What was she getting herself into?
"Not really. I can already see mom's face."
"Good. We're all getting in the Friday before Christmas. I expect you there no later than that."
"I'll be there. And I know if I don't show up you all will fly out here and kidnap me."
Nancy laughed, "I was about to threaten you with that but apparently you already know my MO," she paused, "It was good talking to you Add. Call me more often. I miss you."
"Me too. And I promise to call more. Tell mom I love her and I'll give her a call before Christmas."
"Ok, take care and you better have juicy dating stories to tell when you get here!"
Addison smiled but ignored that last comment, "Bye Nancy."
"So do you think he chickened out or the procedure didn't take?"
Addison laughed, "I think he chickened out. Considering half the family is doctors he isn't much for blood and gore."
Finn grinned, "Five kids. That's a lot."
"I know, but you should see Tom and Karen with them. They're so good with kids. If anyone can handle six, it's them."
A silence fell between the two. Each one unsure of where to go.
Finn began, "Can I ask you something. Something that might be too personal and if it is you don't have to answer?"
Though they sat in his bed, and she wore his pajamas there were some boundaries. Questions which may be too hard to answer.
She nodded. She wasn't afraid of being hurt with Finn.
"What's your family like? I mean, you said Derek's family is your family but what about your mom and dad?"
She closed her eyes. She hadn't thought about them in a while. Well, she hadn't allowed herself to think about them for a while.
"When me and Derek got engaged they kind of, sort of, cut ties. They came to the wedding and my dad walked me down the isle but that was it. I didn't talk to them much after that. Mom would give me a ceremonious call on Easter but she'd never ask anything real. Just pleasantries and then she'd go on with her life."
She traced circles on the bedding. Her voice cracking slightly.
"I'm sorry Addison. I shouldn't have asked."
She shook her head, "No, no, it's not that. Its just they were so right. I just couldn't see it. And now I can't do anything about it."
Her eyes fill with tears but she closes them before they can fall.
She and Derek had been so in love. So naïve. He swore he'd be all the family she'd ever need.
How had she believed him?
Finn wrapped his arms around her.
"We can't regret the decisions we made in the past because they make us who we are. We'd be incomplete without them. Regardless of how it ended, you were happy and happy for a long time. If your parents couldn't see that and accept it then that is no fault of yours. All we can do is live our lives Addison and hope that things end for the better. Sometimes they don't but sometimes they do. And those are the moments we have to live for."
She wipes her tears, "How did you get so wise Finn Dandridge?"
"I've been around the block a few times. I'd be a fool to not have learned a thing or two by now."
She smiles softly, "Thank you for asking Finn."
She felt different after talking about her parents. The failure of her marriage had been such a weight on her chest.
"Thank you for telling Addison. No one has a perfect life. Regret and fear are just a part of it," he sighs. She knows his life has had its ups and downs as well.
"I like that you're a part of my life."
She knows it's random but it felt right to say.
"And I like that you're in mine too."
She smiled and allowed herself to get closer to him. At that moment she didn't care how it would end because in that moment she was happy.
I turn to see my faded tracks in the snow
I've come so far with no idea where to go
And if I never fear to be more alone, I do now
I do now
Copeland.
I told you Nancy was coming back! And I know its like nearly March but what better time to write a Christmas chapter or two? I know, when I started this fic I really thought I'd have the Christmas chapter up by the holidays but I added other random things (like Australian men) along the way and now its like February 25th and I'm writing Christmas scenes. I can make one guarantee, Christmas will be very interesting at the Sheppard house this year--besides Karen dropping the bomb about baby #6.
So yeah, Grey's definetly off the Tivo. I liked Grey's because it seemed original. Now its just recyled garbage. If I wanted an afterlife sequence I would have tuned into One Life to Live. Best move this show could have made was pulling the plug on Mer and retitling the show "Addison's Anatomy" because is there really any comparison when it comes to anatomy? hehe, back to the point...ummm...Kate good, Shonda bad. And I totally agree that KW just has too much chemistry and thats why she might be written off. Damn those eyebrows.
And to anyone who may not like Finn all that much, he's here for a bit because he understands Addy. We all know Derek is too dense to figure things out by himself so Finn's here for him to realize just how far he has his head is up his ass. Addek will be together by the end. That I can promise anyone. I just hope you'll enjoy the ride till then.
once again-- /rant (this is so therapuetic)
Review and hopefully I'll have another update soon!
