A/N – We're picking up right where we left off. "Go Spartans!" *waves pom poms* Enjoy!

I love bonus points and the ones from chapter 11 go to redlulu and jamiei1979 both answered correctly with the lead singer of the band Nirvana - Kurt Cobain and since I am so generous they both get the points (although I think lulu should share, lol).

This is probably the longest chapter yet, so I hope that makes up for the delay in the update. :)

Chapter 12

BPOV

After the stampede of football players wildly left the bus the cheerleaders started to exit behind them. The bus ride had actually been fun and we were still laughing and smiling from all of the joking and cheers that we had done during the trip. I knew that this wasn't my place and that I still didn't belong, not really anyway, but where did I belong? Maybe I didn't belong anywhere. Perhaps I was a square peg in a world of round holes, so maybe I was doing the right thing by making myself belong somewhere. I didn't mind so much anymore trying to fit in here it was somewhere I could be to take my mind off the sorrow and guilt that consumed me. The only better place to be was with Jacob, but I feared that despite his promise, eventually he would leave too. I couldn't blame him though he would want to pursue someone who could love him back and appreciate the great person that he is. He deserved so much more than an empty shell of a person that could never give him the love he deserved in return.

I refocused my thoughts and brought the smile back to my face as I squeezed through the tight aisle and tried to keep my duffle bag on my shoulder with one hand while holding my water bottle in the other. When we stepped off the bus I was met by a warm breeze and was so glad that the weather was still cooperating. It wasn't necessarily warm, but it wasn't chilly either, it was just right and more importantly it wasn't raining. We made our way across the parking lot and into the school following the football team and as they separated and entered the boy's locker room, we turned and made our way into ours.

It didn't take long to get ready. I took off my windbreaker jacket and pants, folded them, and placed them into the duffle bag. I made my way over to the mirror with Jessica and Angela so they could put the finishing touches on their makeup and I put on my new mascara and lip gloss for the first time. Jessica fixed my ponytail, that I didn't think needed fixing, and then doused it with hairspray. It actually smelled good unlike my mother's hairspray that used to make me cough. It was comfortable in the locker room, nice and warm and surrounded by other girls wearing the same thing, but now it was time to emerge and stand in front of a large crowd of people.

I must've looked panicked because Angela wrapped her arm around me.

"It's ok, you're not going to be out there alone. We're all going to be with you." She said gently and gave me a warm smile. That was true I wasn't going to be alone, I was a part of a group now. I admit that this kind of thing wasn't really my cup of tea, but there's nothing like humiliating yourself in front of family, friends, peers, and complete strangers all the while risking the safety of yourself and those nearby to take your mind off of your dead, vampire boyfriend.

I ignored my own inner, crazy ranting and walked out with everyone else. I completely disregarded the fact from my mind that I was scantily dressed in something that in any other situation would not be deemed appropriate for me to wear in public and was possibly going to break my neck in the near future.

When I neared the bleachers I saw my dad standing there looking around. I ran up to him and gave him a hug. He smiled at me and then gave me an evaluating look.

"Hey, Bells I liked it better when you had those pants on."

"Yeah Dad, me too."

I turned to see Jacob standing in the concession line already, but when he looked up and saw me he abandoned his place in line and came running up to me, scooping me up in his arms. My dad, being the reasonable guy that he is, had already took this as his cue to leave and took Billy to find a seat in the first row of the bleachers.

Still suspended in the air with my feet dangling I rested my head on his shoulder and I could hear him sniffing my hair. "I missed you" I whispered in his ear.

"I missed you too" he said with a smile and with that everything I thought in the locker room went out the window. I knew he deserved better, but I knew I would be lost without my sunbeam.

He set me down and that's when his ever happy expression turned into shock.

"Your hair Bella! Where is it?"

"Gone." I replied as if it wasn't blatantly obvious that it was gone. "Jacob, why do you look so sad, it's just hair?"

"I know, but it was your hair and…"

"Well now it's someone else's hair." I stated matter-of-factly.

"What do you mean? Did you sell it?" What was he asking? If I had went and sold my hair on the black market or something like I would even know how to go about doing something like that.

"No, I donated it." His face eased somewhat and I had no idea why he was making such a big deal out of it. I'm glad I didn't see him right after I had it cut, before I had fully accepted it, or I probably would have started crying.

I looked up at him and pouted ever so slightly "So, you don't like me hair?" I whimpered like he had really hurt my feelings.

"Aw Bella, I'm sorry I like it, I do."

I looked up again still pouting. "So, you only like it you don't love it?" I whimpered again my face showing my fake hurt feelings.

His panicked look quickly turned into a big smile as he figured out I was only teasing him. He swooped me up again to where I was almost over his shoulder and he spun me around. I was laughing, but realized that my butt that was sticking up in the air was barely covered by what the Cheerleading Association passed off as being a skirt. I wasn't too alarmed knowing that I had the bottoms on that go under the skirt, but all the same I really didn't think my father would think much of the display. Only crazy, cheerleader Bella wouldn't care about flashing her bottom to a crowd of people.

"Jacob, I'm wearing a skirt…" that's all I had to say before he put me down. I'm not sure how many times he spun me, but I didn't even need to be dizzy to fall down so this was not helping. Everything whirled around me and I started to fall backwards, but before Jacob had the chance to move I was caught in someone's arms.

"You should be more careful" I heard the voice behind me say.

"Oh yes, I guess so" I responded and looked up to see Mike's face smiling down at me with his arms still wrapped around my waist.

"I wasn't talking about you, Bella" he said as his smile faded and he shot a look of warning to Jake.

"Oh" I said trying to break up the animosity in the air as I pulled away from Mike's arms and took a neutral spot in the middle of the two boys. "Mike, this is my friend Jacob and Jacob this is my friend Mike." They nodded at each other, but neither made an attempt to crossover the space I was standing in to shake hands.

Mike looked back at me taking a step closer "Well, good luck with your first time cheering"

"Thanks" I said and he just smiled at me and bounced my ponytail in his hand much like Angela did. "I just can't get over your hair, I love it." And then he returned to where the rest of the team was waiting.

I turned back around to Jake "See, some people love my hair" I said laughing, but his angry expression did not change.

I put my hand on his shoulder "What's wrong?" he looked down sadly.

"I wanted to wish you good luck and he did it first" he sounded like a petulant child.

"Well, how about a good luck kiss then?" his eyes lit up and I pointed to my cheek which didn't even dampen his excitement. His warm lips touched my cheek and it felt like it had heated my whole face. The place where his lips had touched tingled and my face was covered in the deepest shade of pink possible.

"I'll see you later" I said as I ran to join the other girls who were warming up on the track in between the bleachers and the football field. I was still blushing when I turned around to see Jake returning to the concession line before turning around and giving me a smile. I waved and kept running only stumbling once. I sat down next to Jessica and Angela and began stretching with them.

"So, what was all that about?" Jessica asked in an accusatory tone.

I shrugged my shoulders not feeling like giving her an explanation.

"So, that's Jacob?" Angela asked with a big smile on her face.

"Yep, that's him" I said as I switched legs and continued stretching.

"Wow, I didn't realize what a super hunk your friend was" she laughed and poked at my arm.

"Yeah, he really has grown up hasn't he? Well, since the last time I saw him anyway." Jessica said in a somewhat friendly tone.

"Yeah, don't let looks deceive you. He's just a big baby." I said as I looked up and met his gaze. I stuck my tongue out at him and he returned the gesture before turning his attention back to the foot long chili dog in his hands. I just shook my head and leaned back down to continue my stretching.

The first half of the game went by relatively quick and I had yet to fall on my face.

I went to fill up my water bottle and I saw Jacob leave his seat to join me.

"Hey, can I get my picture now or later?" he asked with a big smile.

"Well, a promise is a promise. Shoot away." I stopped before reaching the drinking fountain and smiled right before the flash went off.

"Hey guys, I'll take one of you together!" Angela exclaimed as she came walking up behind Jake. He handed over his camera and quickly joined me at my side with his usual big smile on his face. She took the picture but frowned. Maybe you should pick her up again, it would be easier to get both of you in the picture she teased, but Jake needed no further prompting and he immediately had me cradled in his arms.

I almost missed it, but I saw Jake wink at Angela and before I knew it that warm sensation was back on my cheek and Angela snapped another picture.

When I returned to the ground I introduced Angela and Jacob and he thanked her profusely for taking the pictures, but she was obviously happy to do it as she grinned from ear to ear.

We got in line at the drinking fountain to refill our water bottles and Jacob stood next to us. They were talking about what had been going on with the game and I mostly listened and nodded. Most of my thoughts had been concentrated on not falling so I had missed most of the game, but I knew we were only up by a few points. Jake assured us that a team with such good cheerleaders would surely win.

Angela went towards the school and I followed Jake back to his seat so I could sit with them before half time was over. I sat in between Jake and my dad while Jake finished eating his giant pretzel and my dad was telling me how great I was doing which translated to 'good job not falling on your face'. He continued talking and went on to say that he spoke with Missy who had agreed that it would be alright if I rode home with him so we could stop and get some pizza as a type of celebration. He pointed out that it had been awhile since we had eaten since we had an early dinner with the exception of Jacob of course.

The game had finally ended with us winning and all of the girls were so excited, they were smiling and chattering away as we were putting our pants and jackets back on.

"So are you ready for the long trip back?" Jessica asked.

"Oh, my dad wanted to get something to eat so he asked Missy if it was ok that I rode back with him" although I'm sure he didn't expect the cheerleading coach to tell the chief of police he couldn't take his own child.

"And Jake and his dad are going too?"

"Well yeah, they all rode together."

"Do you spend a lot of time with him?"

"Jessica" I said in a scolding tone, I had already gone over this with her as did Angela who, unfortunately, was talking with Cassidy about something cheerleading related.

"No, I get what you said about how you feel and I'm sorry I upset you the other day, but I'm talking about how he feels and it is very different from how you feel."

"Jessica, I've already had a talk with him about it and we're on the same page." At least I think we are, but she just shook her head.

"Talk shmalk, that doesn't change how someone feels and that boy is head over heels for you. C'mon friends don't kiss on the cheek like that."

"Sure they do!" I protested.

"Yeah, in Europe" She said as she rolled her eyes and shoved her things into her duffel bag.

"Whatever, Alice kissed me on the cheek all the time and she isn't European". I mumbled under my breath and walked to the gate where everyone was waiting for me.

I was walking next to Jacob and my dad was right in front of us pushing Billy through the gravel to the car. Jacob reached out for my bag.

"I'm perfectly capable of carrying my own bag"

"Duh, you've been doing it all day, but that's not the point." He gave me an annoyed look like 'come on and let me be nice'.

"Thank you" I said with an exaggerated smile that said 'I hate chivalry but I'm obliging your manners'.

He smiled back and took the bag. "Now, that wasn't so hard was it?"

"Eh, a little" I said as I shrugged my shoulders. He nudged me and made me stumble.

"Hey, I do enough of that on my own!" I teased him.

"I guess I forgot who I was dealing with, I could have taken out half of the people in this parking lot!" I couldn't help, but to laugh with him even if it was at my own expense, it was all in good fun.

Once we were all in the car we waited for our turn to pull out in the chaos of traffic.

"It's much better having company in the back of a police car." he said seriously "I felt like the lone gunman all the way here" he said in a fake sad voice. "And now…"

"Bonnie and Clyde!" we both said in unison. We were laughing hysterically and Charlie and Billy were shaking their heads at us.

"Like you two behave any better." I teased. Jacob agreed wholeheartedly and we were all laughing by the time we pulled into the pizza place's parking lot.

We sat in a booth against the wall and ordered two large pizzas. There was a train that went around the entire restaurant that brings your drinks to you. Jake had managed to convince the waitress to put the refills and the breadsticks on the train just for him. I shook my head as I watched his face light up at the sight of the train coming around the corner. I kind of felt bad for calling Jake a big baby earlier because he wasn't. It just didn't take much to make him happy and I loved that about him. I hated fancy things with all the bells and whistles, I appreciated the simplicity in things just like Jake did.

"So Bells, I've been thinking."

"Yeah, dad." Who knows what he's been thinking now.

"Well, I realized with you being at cheerleading practice and riding the bus and going to away games and stuff that you really need a cell phone."

"Dad, I really don't think it's necessary…" There have been times that I wished I had one, but overall it just seemed like a waste of money to me. I mean people did manage to survive before cell phones so I'm sure that I could manage.

"Nope, it's already planned. We're going to the Northgate Mall tomorrow to get you one." I couldn't help it I started whining.

"Dad…", but he interrupted me.

"Jake can go with us." He offered in an attempt to calm me down.

Jake looked up in mid bite, smiled, and nodded his head. Billy didn't seem to mind either. So, I wobbled my head in a half nod half shake type thing. He knew I'd have a good time if Jacob went, he got me.

It was a good thing we ordered two larges because Jacob ate almost the entire supreme pizza by himself. When we finished eating Jacob dragged me to the pinball machine and I stood at the side to watch him play.

"Hey, you can't just stand over there and watch"

"Well, what do you want me to do, Cheer you on?" He hesitated like he thought that was a good idea, but then shook his head.

"No, we're a team, you know Bonnie and Clyde, so you take the right flipper and I'll do the left."

I'm no pinball expert, but I'd say we did pretty well. The lights flashed a few times and we even got a free ball. After several games we were ready to go.

I was standing at the front counter as we paid the bill and I noticed they had little trains with their name on the side "Pizza Depot" for sale. When they were walking out I told them I had to go to the bathroom and ran back to the counter to buy Jacob one, I knew he would like it as much as I liked my sea shell. I shoved it in my pocket and ran to the car.

It was pretty late and I was exhausted. I stared out the window at the full moon and then I felt a warm hand grab mine and I smiled, but never took my eyes off the moon. I started to nod off and Jacob pulled me towards him and I eventually gave up and let my head rest on his shoulder and fell asleep.

JPOV

Bella seemed so peaceful sleeping against me and I hated imagining her screaming like that one day. I shivered remembering the way those screams sounded. We pulled into my driveway and I knew I would have to gently lie her down on the car seat and I hoped I wouldn't wake her.

"You know Billy, since we're leaving early tomorrow I don't see why Jacob can't just stay the night and sleep on the couch." I would've liked to think that he trusted me, which I suppose he would have to somewhat to have me spend the night, but I knew that Bella at night terrified him. Hell, it terrified me too, but I could at least get her to calm down.

We had already spent the night together once, not that I would admit that to our dad's, but I never imagined I would be sleeping on Bella's couch. My dad had no problem with letting me go and I tried not to smile like a fool while they were looking at me.

I still had to lie her down so I could help my dad into the house and grab a few things to bring with me so I could resemble clean tomorrow.

I got back to the car and just stood there in between the two doors torn on which one to choose. I could sit in the front or the back. Did he want me to sit in front with him? Did he even care?

"Go ahead and sit in the back" good that's where I wanted to sit anyway. I opened the door and threw my bag on the floor before I lifted Bella up and slid into the seat next to her. I let her head rest against my shoulder again and she never even stirred. She had a big day today and I'm sure she was worn-out.

About 15 minutes later we pulled up to their house. I looped the handles of my bag onto my wrists and then lifted Bella out of the car. I followed Charlie into the house and he pointed the way up to her room. I carried her up the stairs and laid her in the bed. I took off her shoes and threw them in the corner and couldn't help, but feel sorry for her knowing how much she hated sleeping in that bed. My father had told me about the two and half weeks that she spent in it and I would have hated it too.

I grabbed a blanket that hung over the back of the rocking chair and covered her with it. Her room was very tidy, but I didn't really expect anything else from my responsible Bella. I watched her sleep for a short moment before I turned around to leave, but I stopped when I saw the pictures and the shell on the desk. I smiled knowing that those things meant something to her the same as they did for me. I turned back around to look at her again before I left the room and I reached out to brush some hairs off her forehead, but my hand continued until it reached the tiny ponytail that sat high on her head. I couldn't believe she cut her hair and I was shocked when I first saw her. It was just seeing Bella in the cheerleader uniform and all her beautiful hair was gone, it was like she was changing into someone else, but it didn't take long to realize she was still the same Bella. I don't think anything could change that. Well, he had changed her a lot…for the worse and I hated him for it. I would hate anything that hurt Bella, but it was so much more than that. He didn't hurt her, he killed a part of her, a beautiful part and I could only hope that with time that part of her would come back.

I whispered sweet dreams into her ear and turned off the light before I shut the door behind me. Oh, please have sweet dreams I begged silently.

I still had my bag on my wrist so I changed in the bathroom before I went back downstairs. Charlie was putting a blanket and a pillow on the couch when I walked into the room.

"Thanks"

"No, problem, but it won't be that comfortable" he said with a laugh.

"It'll be fine. But, thanks for inviting me tomorrow and letting me stay tonight."

"Well Jake, I knew if you were going tomorrow she'd throw less of a fit over the phone and tonight…was purely selfish." He shrugged a little and went up the stairs saying goodnight as he walked.

I already knew that was one of his reasons because of what happened a few nights ago when he called me in the middle of the night. I could hear the desperation in his voice as he begged me to call her. He didn't know what else to do she had been screaming for a long time. He said they were some of the worst screams yet, they were different than the others, and I couldn't imagine a scream worse than the one I heard that day in my bed, but then she did something she hadn't done before, she laid there for over an hour begging him to come back. How could I not hate the person that did that to her? I didn't care what excuse he had because as far as I was concerned there was no excuse. If I was lucky enough to be Bella's boyfriend there wouldn't be anything that I would let stand between us, not even death itself could keep me from her.

Charlie had turned of all the lights on his way to bed and I was lying there in the dark. I looked up to the ceiling, even though I couldn't really see it, and smiled knowing that Bella was up there. I rolled over and fell asleep.

I jumped up and didn't even have to think about it before I was already halfway up the stairs and luckily didn't fall as I made my way in the dark. When I ran into the room she was still screaming.

BPOV

The sounds still filled my head as the voices came although they seemed to gradually say a little bit more I didn't much notice as that was when I would start screaming. I looked around and I was confused I didn't even remember going to bed. I was still screaming when my door swung open and I was shocked because Charlie never came in my room especially when I was screaming, but in a split second I was wrapped in warm arms and my head rested in a familiar way.

I wasn't screaming anymore, but I was quite concerned since apparently I was blacking out and now I wasn't only having hallucinations of Edward but also Jacob.

"Shh, you're ok." He said as gently stroked my hair. I was pretty sure if he wasn't really there I would fall on the floor, but what did I know I was the crazy person.

"Jake?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry did I scare you?"

"No, are you really here?"

"Yeah Bella" he said with a laugh "Charlie said since we're leaving early tomorrow I could sleep on the couch" Wow, that's was a big surprise on Charlie's part.

"Plus you were on scream patrol?" I knew my dad wouldn't come near me when I was screaming, but that didn't mean he liked it.

"Unofficially, but I think he knew I wouldn't let you scream." I nodded and scooted over so he would have more room.

"Did you put me in my bed?"

"Yep, even covered you with a blanket" he added with a laugh.

I looked down and pulled the blankets from the bed back and crawled underneath them and held them up for Jacob to crawl under too.

"I have to go back downstairs" he stated seriously.

"I know, but just until I fall asleep" I said in an innocent voice and I knew he couldn't deny me.

He crawled under and I realized I still had my jacket on. I dug into my pocket and pulled out the little train. I found his hand under the blankets and held it in mine for a brief moment before pulling it away and leaving the train in his hand. He pulled his hand out from under the blanket and held it in front of his face. The street lamp shone enough light in the room that he could see the little train that sat on his palm.

"Oh Bella, it's a little, drink train!"

"I knew you would like it."

"I do" he leaned towards me and hugged me and then kissed me on the cheek. He paused dangerously close to my mouth and I froze. He quickly rolled over and set the train on the night stand.

"I'm going to go change, I'll be right back." I jumped out of the bed and grabbed some pajamas before I went to the bathroom.

On my way back to the room I froze in the middle of the hallway. It was déjà vu and I didn't like it. I had done this what seemed like hundreds of times while he waited for me in my bed. I shook my head and told myself this was different…everything was different now.

I crawled back into bed and thought about the near kiss, that was the second time, and Jessica's words came running through my head.

"Jake, maybe you should go back downstairs."

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I wouldn't have really tried to…"

"I know Jake it's just I think…well, I'm not sure what I think, but I don't want to hurt you."

"Bella, I know. I'm just here because you had a nightmare and I want to help you fall back asleep. Come here and I'll sing you your lullaby" he reached out his arms and I froze at the words it's not the same I told myself.

I moved closer to him and he wrapped his arms around me and I put my head on his arm. He sang the song quietly in my ear. It was way better in person than it was on the phone and I was picturing the wolf and her cubs lying in the grass as my eyes closed.

I woke up to the sun shining on my face and I realized that the curtains were still open. I rolled over and was glad to see that Jacob and returned to the couch or perhaps I was truly crazy and he was never here. Neither one of those would surprise me. Lucky for me it wasn't the latter because when I walked down the stairs I could see him sleeping on the couch. Poor Jake he got woke up by my screams and stayed awake until I fell back asleep. I walked as quietly as I could into the kitchen trying not to wake him.

I started making pancakes with bacon and eggs. I knew Jacob could eat a lot so I tried to make as much as possible.

"Hey, that smells good"

"Oh, good morning Jake"

"Well, it is now." He said smiling at me. I'll just take that as a compliment to the food I told myself and then a saying about a river in Egypt crept into my mind.

I started putting the food on the table and Jake helped me by grabbing the plates and silverware. I put the juice and the syrup on the table and sat next to Jake. I went ahead and poured juice in all three glasses knowing that my dad couldn't possibly sleep in too late with a boy in the house with his daughter.

We sat and ate and talked about different stuff. We talked about school, and Halloween that was next week, and of course the fun we would have at the mall. Last time I went to the mall I had left without most of my hair, but I wouldn't mention that in front of Jacob since he didn't have the best reaction to it.

My dad came down when we were finishing up and I made him a plate and cleared what I could from the table before I ran upstairs to take a shower.

Once everyone was dressed we piled into the car and headed to Seattle. I sat in the back of the cruiser and was really getting tired of feeling like a juvenile delinquent and wished that my dad had a normal car. Oh well, at least I was in good company…with my Clyde. I turned towards him and smiled which he instantly returned.

We walked into the mall and went straight to the cell phone kiosk. We followed my dad since he seemed to know right where he was going. Jake and I walked around looking at all the phones.

"Ooh, look Bells" He held up a hot pink phone.

"It's pink" yeah you can call me Captain Obvious, but it was the only comment I had about that phone. He just nodded at me like 'duh'.

"How about something small and maybe black?" I was looking for the plainest phone they had. If I was going to be forced into getting a phone I would at least get the cheapest one.

"Look at this pink one."

"Yeah dad, I already saw it. How about this one" I don't know why everyone thought I wanted a bright, pink phone, but I held up the smallest black phone they had and it may have very well been the cheapest one too.

"Bella, that thing is tiny. You'd probably lose it before we even left the mall." That was probably true so, we eventually made a compromise and I got an average looking and priced phone.

When we were finished activating my phone my dad went to the sporting goods store to look at fishing equipment. We split up and went our separate ways as Jake and I were released into the mall for the next hour before we were to meet my dad at the food court.

We went to the music store and looked at various CD's and movies making comments about our favorite songs and quoting lines from different movies. We left the music store and walked down the walkway and turned the corner and that's when I saw the bookstore.

"Do you mind if we go in?" I was the way in bookstores that most girls were in clothing stores. It got to the point that my mother wouldn't even go in with me anymore knowing that it would be forever before I wanted to leave, but I would only browse today.

"No, it's fine" he said smiling down at me. I could probably get him to go into the Hello Kitty store with me without so much as a single protest. Lucky for him I preferred the bookstore. I looked at some new releases and what was on the bestseller's shelf at the front, but I didn't let myself go towards the back where the good books were. I walked around the shelves gently stroking my fingers on the spines of random books before forcing myself to leave.

When we were walking out of the bookstore Jacob grabbed my hand and I held it back without hesitation.

"Ooh, look." But I didn't have a chance to look before I was being pulled to the other side of the mall much like I had been pulled down the sidewalk to the photo booth that one day and then the pulling stopped and I stumbled to a standstill. We stood in front of a very brightly colored store that had every imaginable type of candy possible.

We decided to fill a big bag with a little of almost every kind of Jelly Bellies they had. After we paid and left the store we sat on a bench next to the water fountain and took two of the same jelly bean out and tried to guess what kind it was first. Our game had gotten pretty difficult since we couldn't remember half of what we had poured into the bag so we resorted to throwing them in each other's mouths. I threw one and missed horribly with it landing in the fountain. I looked up to be met with a displeased look from a large, surly security guard. I leaned over the side of the fountain, hoping I wouldn't fall in, and fished it out. After I threw it in the trash can we decided to end our game of jelly bean throwing and made our way to the food court. I didn't stop to take notice of the security guard, but assumed he would be pleased that he didn't have to intercede. He probably dealt with enough rowdy, belligerent teenagers to even give us a second thought. Some Bonnie and Clyde we were I thought as I smiled to myself.

We were only in the food court for a moment before we saw my dad walk in with a shopping bag of several fishing items that served purposes that I probably wouldn't even be able to guess.

We sat and ate tacos before we made our way back across the mall to leave.

Jake and I were sitting in the back of the car again while my dad made his way around the crowded parking lot. We were looking out the window as one of the security trucks with the flashing light on top drove by. We watched it drive past and I saw the big, surly security guard stare at us with his mouth hanging open and we both started cracking up. My dad had no idea what was going on, but he didn't even make an attempt to understand half of the things that made us laugh anymore. That security guard must have been so confused wondering what the heck we did to land in the back of a police car.

We were almost home when I started wondering if he would have me take Jake home right after we got home.

"You know Dad I'm making pot roast for dinner and there's always plenty maybe Jake can stay." Jake looked over and smiled at me. I think he was just as happy with the pot roast as he was about having dinner with me.

"Sure Bella, we'll call Billy when we get home"

"When we get home? Pssh, I have a cell phone now we can just call him from the car." That was the point of having a cell phone right? So, I could call whoever I wanted no matter where I was. Like the people who walked around the grocery store letting everyone hear the personal business.

I took my phone out and hesitated before I handed it to Jacob. I was getting ready to pull out the trump card and I didn't know if I really wanted to do it. Yes I did.

"Dad, can he stay one more night. I just sleep so much better knowing that he's downstairs." He knew that Jake came in my room and calmed me down last night and I also knew that it was something that he wished he could do.

"Fine Bells, he can ask his dad, but it's not something we're making a habit out of."

"Sure, Sure." I handed over the phone and he gave me a look like 'you sly dog'.

Billy didn't mind and I could hear him chuckle, probably wondering if my father had lost his mind. We got home and I started to get dinner ready, but we were out of a few things so Jake and I went to the store. While we were there we got several big bags of candy for Halloween. I didn't know how many kids we would get, but I know back in Phoenix we would get a lot. I wasn't worried about leftovers because I knew they would find a good home with Jake. We rented a couple of movies on our way back to the house and when we unloaded the bags from the truck Jacob took the heavier bags and I took the lighter ones and then we walked together into the house. It was a weird rhythm we had but we had fell into it naturally.

Jacob was rinsing vegetables and putting them on the cutting board for me to chop. As I listened to the repetitive sound of the knife coming down on the board I was thinking about what Jessica had said again. I knew how I felt and I knew how Jake felt, but maybe that could change, people's feelings change all the time, but I didn't know if mine would ever change and I didn't just mean the feelings I had for Jacob.

I shook my head and tried to focus on what I was doing so I wouldn't chop one of my fingers off. At least no one would be tempted to eat me if I did and that was just too much. I ran to the bathroom with tears in my eyes and came back down when I had calmed down. Jake was sitting at the table and looked up with a concerned expression on his face when I walked back into the room. I mumbled something about onions and went back to cutting the carrots. I looked around and we didn't even have any onions. He never said anything about it though and he just stood next to me peeling potatoes and setting them down for me to cut. I had gotten everything into the oven and we sat at the table trying to think of something to do. We had the movies, but wanted to watch them tonight or during the day tomorrow.

"We could take a walk" he offered, but I shook my head. There was no way I wanted to go into that forest. My dad came walking through the house with a rake in his hand and said "You guys could rake" he didn't even look at us he just interjected his comment when he overheard us and kept on walking.

"We'll rake, dad" I wouldn't mind going outside in the nice fall weather and Jake agreed.

"What? I was kidding and I'm not staying in here with the pot roast." He said it like it was some kind of monster or something.

"Dad, no one has to stay in, it's not like the pot roast is going to do anything. I'll just come in a few minutes before the timer is set to go off," I got up and grabbed the rake out of his hand and turned to Jake.

"Let's go find another rake. I know we have one around here somewhere."

Charlie found the other rake and we went out to the front and started making a big pile of leaves. We were making our way around the yard and every once in awhile one of us would try to steal leaves away from the other until our rakes got tangled together. We were laughing and raking and I wasn't even looking up as we moved along. Then I noticed that we were at the side of the house and I froze. Jacob came along next to me and just did what he normally does. He grabbed my hand and led me along with him as he approached the corner of the house. I dug my heels in the ground and struggled to get away. I could not make it past to the side of the house and I instinctively shut my eyes in preparation. As soon as Jake realized I was pulling away from him he let go, but that just sent me flying backwards and onto the ground. My heart was pounding frantically and I was out of breath. The thought of being over there had sent me into a panic and I sprung to my feet and ran into the house. I didn't stop until I was up in my room. I sat on my bed for a moment and collected myself. I peered out of my window at Jacob and he looked sad sitting in the middle of the yard all by himself.

I looked around for an excuse, not thinking the onion thing would work again well, not that it worked the first time. I ran downstairs and checked the timer I still had 20 minutes and then I saw the camera sitting on the counter. My dad must have had it at the game, I grabbed it and ran outside.

Jacob looked up at me when I walked outside and he looked like he felt bad. How could I tell him that it wasn't his fault at all?

I sat next to him and we were silent for awhile until he started talking.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I know there are things that you haven't told me, but when you're ready I'm here for you."

I leaned over and laid my head on his shoulder and exhaled deeply. I knew I could never tell him the truth, but I wanted to.

"We only have 15 minutes if we want to have a pile big enough to jump in." He pointed to the opposite side of the house and I saw a huge pile of leaves. I looked around and he had finished the whole front yard by himself. I know what kind of look I had on my face because he quickly responded.

"Bella, it was already almost done." He stood up, took my hand, and pulled me up. We ran over to the leaf pile, turned around, and fell backwards into the leaf pile laughing. I remembered the camera in my hand and I held it out and took a picture of us lying side by side in the leaves.

We were careful not to mess up the pile too bad, but we raked the runaway leaves back into the pile before we went in to check on dinner.

We didn't talk much through dinner, but Charlie would look up and give us weird looks. Well, Jacob didn't notice, but I did and it looked like he was envisioning our wedding or something.

I cleared the table and started the dishes. Jacob insisted on helping to dry as I washed them and since it got us finished sooner I let him.

Charlie went out to finish the raking, he said he appreciated what we had done, and we plopped down on the couch to watch one of our movies.

I was steering clear of the romantic movies so I picked out an action movie that I knew Jacob would like. It was called Fireball II and I had never heard of it, but Jake was excited about it telling me that it was supposed to be even better than the first Fireball. After watching it for 15 minutes I figured out that better meant more explosions. The movie lived up to its name and most of the structures and machinery and even some of the people turned into flaming balls of fire. I was just glad there was no love story or kissing, bring on the flames I thought.

The movie was ending and my dad had went upstairs to take a shower after he finished the raking.

Then I started to think about some of the homework I had. Oh no, Jacob probably had homework too.

"Oh Jake, do have homework that you should be doing?"

"No, I had to finish it before we went to the game yesterday." I gave him a look like I wasn't sure if I believed that or not.

"Seriously, I got it all finished."

"Ok well, do you want to sit with me while I do mine? You don't have to." Not that there was much of anything else he could do, maybe watch TV until my dad would come back to claim the couch.

"Sure, what do you have to do?"

"Some math" truth was I didn't pay much attention during first hour, I guess I was still rattled by the nightmare that early in the morning so I did have some catching up to do.

My dad peeked in on us in my room on his way down to the TV. I left the door wide open and he acted like he had something to say when I know he really just wanted to check in on us. He saw me at the desk and Jacob on my bed looking at my photo album that he found on the floor and went downstairs obviously satisfied that we weren't doing anything inappropriate.

I wasn't paying him much attention as I concentrated on my math. I finished and turned around to see a frowning Jacob still looking at my photo album. I looked over his shoulder and hoped it wasn't on the page with his pictures on it. I gasped because it was but they weren't there. I snatched the book out of his hands and started flipping through the pages wildly like somehow they would've moved or something. They were obviously gone and I felt the burning in my chest when I tried to figure out what happened. Did Alice take them? She did say I should have a fresh start, but why would she take my stuff or Edward could have taken them that night he was here, but again what would the point be? I hadn't planned on looking at the pictures because I knew how much it would hurt, but it was nice to know I had that reminder of him that I could look at if I wanted to and now I had nothing. I threw the book across the room and it hit the wall with a thud.

"Everything ok up there kids?"

"Yeah, I just dropped something!" Jacob yelled back and then looked at me. I had tears in my eyes and I collapsed in his arms.

"You didn't know they were gone" I shook my head even though it wasn't much of a question.

They're just pictures, just pictures I told myself.

"It's fine they were just stupid pictures." I said and waved my hand in a non-convincing way. I told myself I would figure it out later and that I wasn't going to cry all night on the last night Jacob was here.

My dad came upstairs and we moved apart on the bed and I went to pick up the book Jacob 'dropped'.

"I'm going to bed." My dad called as he went into his room and since I'm fluent in Dad that translates to 'The couch is free now, so you can get out of my daughter's bedroom'.

After we were changed into our pajamas we went down to the living room and watched TV. After awhile I was getting pretty tired and I could barely keep my eyes open.

"Ok well, I'm going to bed before you have to carry me up there again" I said with a smile. He gave me a hug and I made my way up the stairs leisurely taking each step knowing that it led me that much further away from Jake.

I laid in my bed that I still hated, but I didn't feel as alone as I usually did. I was so tired and I smiled knowing that Jake was down stairs. I was picturing him with his legs overflowing from the couch as I drifted off to sleep.

I told myself I wouldn't have the nightmare tonight, but it didn't work. My hands went over my mouth as soon as I heard the horrible sound that was escaping from it. I was hoping that no one heard it as the tears fell on my hands that were still on my mouth. Just then I felt the warm arms around me and I couldn't help, but to relax.

He leaned back with me in his arms until we were both laying down and I could hear my lullaby in my ear. Nothing else was said and the song filled my head until I fell back asleep picturing the same wolves I did every time I heard the song. There was the mother wolf who was lying in the grass with a little, brown wolf cub laying near her and off to the side curled up together were two bigger wolf cubs that were an identical shade of gray.

I woke up instantly startled when I discovered I was alone, but I headed down the stairs quietly to see if Jacob was still sleeping. From the top of the stairs I saw him and my dad sitting at the kitchen table. My dad had a coffee cup in his hand but I wasn't sure if Jacob did.

"You know, I didn't even hear her scream last night." My dad said and Jake just shrugged his shoulders. I knew that my dad knew I screamed my head off every night, I was pretty sure the whole street knew, but hearing him say it just made me feel bad.

I made loud stomping sounds on the stairs before they could say anything else and announced "good morning!" when I got about halfway down.

They had already eaten cereal, I saw the bowls in the sink, so I decided I would do the same. I took my bowl of frosted flakes and sat in between Jake and my dad.

"So, what are your plans for today?" I shrugged my shoulders, but when I was done chewing I decided to elaborate on my automatic, teenage response.

"We have another movie to watch and I thought maybe we could go get some pumpkins to carve." Jake smiled at me obviously liking the idea.

"That sounds good Bella. I'll bring out the Halloween decorations before I leave for Harry's if you guys want to put them up. I saw all the candy you bought yesterday and I guess I hadn't even thought about it since I usually work late that night." I nodded.

"Lots of egg throwin', pumpkin smashing deviants?"

"Like you wouldn't believe" he said with a laugh.

After he left we went to the store and picked two of the biggest pumpkins we could find and I got some pumpkin carving knives knowing that there wouldn't be any at Charlie's house. I was thinking about something when we were picking the stuff out, but I wasn't going to say anything, but then I thought hey, what's the big deal.

"Jake?"

"Yeah"

"Have you ever carved a pumpkin before?"

"Nope, this will be my first time." I nodded as I pushed the cart. I didn't think chopping up a perfectly good vegetable for no good reason went along with the preservation and resourcefulness he had told me about so I wasn't really surprised.

"Oh, we'll need to get candles too" I said as I tuned from the checkout to get that last item.

We got back home and it was still nice out, so we decided to carve them outside. He watched as I cut the top off and started scooping the insides into a bowl. I'm not sure who started it but soon there were slimy, pumpkin guts flying everywhere and we were both covered. After we were out of stuff to throw we sat there covered in goo and everything was quiet for awhile as we concentrated on making our pumpkin faces. Mine had oval eyes, a matching nose, and a big smile. I was finished and put the lid back on top as Jacob turned his finished pumpkin around proudly. I had to try hard not to frown when I saw the point fangs in its mouth and I told him it that it would look great on the porch. We set them on the stairs so we could hose off our hands before going into the house.

We cleaned ourselves up before settling on the couch with our lunch to watch the other movie that was about aliens. After the movie we put some decorations up in the front of the house and in the windows.

I was a little sad when I was making dinner knowing that Jacob would be going home soon after that, but we did have a great weekend and I knew he'd be back in a few days for Halloween.

After I cleaned up the kitchen we hopped in my truck and headed for Jake's house. He had thanked my dad a million times for letting him stay, but I could tell my dad was glad to have him there. It made him feel better knowing that I wasn't alone.

We pulled into the driveway and I barely had it into park before I grabbed him and buried my head into his chest. "I'm going to miss you" I sounded like a little kid on the first day of kindergarten, but I couldn't help it.

"I'm gonna miss you too, Bells, but you know you can call me if you have trouble sleeping." I liked that he said 'trouble sleeping' instead of horrifying night terrors, his way sounded much better.

"Oh, do you have my new cell phone number?" he shook his head and I wrote it down on a scrap piece of paper. "You and my dad will probably be the only ones calling me anyway" at least I would be very selective in who I gave my number because I would prefer if they were the only two that ever called me.

"Ok, I'll talk to you later" I said fighting back tears. He kissed my forehead before getting out of the truck. I just sat there and watched him walk towards the porch. He was almost there when he turned around and waved, the light from the headlights shone on him and I could see his big smile. "Goodnight, my sunbeam" I whispered as I backed out of the driveway and drove home.

A/N – I don't know if there really is a Cheerleading Association, but if there is someone on their Skirt Approval Board is slacking, lol!

So, I was able to get Jessica to take her midol before this chapter, but I don't know if we'll be that lucky again. She really did put forth a great deal of effort. :)

There really is a pizza joint here (not the pizza depot, lol) that has a train that brings your drinks to you…and they don't put the refills on there either. Has anyone else been to a place like that?

I love my readers and I'm a total sucker for reviews!

Reviews are better than monster pot roasts…totally!