Chapter 12:
Words like violence break the silence
Come crashing in into my little world
Painful to me pierce right through me
RPOV
If I had been carrying anything I would have dropped it in shock, what I found waiting outside the diner was totally unexpected.
"Finn?" I whispered, my jaw felt like it had dropped to the floor,
He was sitting on a bench with his head in his hands,
"Rachel" he sighed, looking up at me through watery eyes,
"Um, are you busy?" he stood and took a step toward me,
"Actually…" I began but he interrupted me,
"The baby isn't mine!" he blurted out
"Wow! Um, what do you want me to say to that? I told you so? I really don't understand why you're here, Finn"
"I've just screwed up everything so bad! I lost you, and for what? Nothing! She is such a bitch! I just wanted… I mean, I know that we're over, but I was hoping that somewhere deep down you still had some sort of feelings for me."
I couldn't help it. I laughed in his face before walking away.
"So it's true? You're with Sam's friend now?"
I stopped but didn't turn around
"Yeah, I am"
Suddenly I felt the heat of his chest on my back, even if his body wasn't touching mine I was very aware of his breath on my neck,
"I always thought you'd end up with Sam ya know, but after all you're just a slut I'm sure you like to be his whore don't ya?" his voice low filed with venom,
"He'll leave you soon anyway, he is like that he plays and moves to the next one, you're not worth it, I bet you'll be come back to me soon, you'll see," I thought he had finished but he added,
"I mean, I cheated on you why wouldn't he too you're not that good anyway…" he chuckled before walking away.
I kept my eyes shut until I couldn't hear his steps anymore, a river of tears overflowed from my lashes and spilled down my cheeks. I had to get out of here, I needed to get out of here no I knew what I needed the most and that was Noah. During the drive to his place, Finn's awful words kept ringing in my head "not worth it" "why wouldn't he too…" After all this time he still knew how to get at me, by his words, by pulling out my weaknesses and rubbed them in my face…
By the time I reached Noah's place I got control of myself and stopped crying, the only evidence was the puffy red eyes. I knocked and was shocked by the person who opened. He looked like an older Noah, the same hazel eyes, with a little more hair and maybe a little stronger than my Noah. I cleared my throat and put on the best smile I could manage,
"Hi you are Levi right? I'm Rachel, Noah's girlfriend"
"Noah?!" he looked at me confused "Huh oh yes hi Rachel nice to meet you", he smiled at me,
"Is Noah home?" I asked keeping the tears at bay,
"No he had some papers to fill for the camp… is everything ok?" he demanded when he saw my lip trembling once again. Noah at camp on a Friday night? That was odd,
"No, not really but I-I will go it's ok" I forced another smile. I could always go see San even if she, like me, passed most of her time at Matt's.
"No stay, my brother would kill me if I'd let you like that, come in maybe I can help you" he said offering his hand.
I nodded weakly and took it. He closed the door putting his hand on my shoulders,
"Rachel are you sure-"I turned around and buried my face in his chest sobbing and clutching at his shirt unable of controlling myself anymore,
"I-I'm sorry I'm such a me-mess" I told him between sobs, he wrapped an arm around my waist and he leaded me to Noah's room. He sat us against the pillows and rubbed my back soothingly. He laid his cheek on the top of my head and shushed my whimpering, rocking me back and forth. I tried matching his breathing until I felt mine even out.
xxx
He broke your heart, he took your soul
You're hurt inside, 'Cause there's a hole
PPOV
I had a busy day and couldn't wait to get home. Plus, Rachel said she'll stay tonight, I'll finally be able to present her to Levi since he came back last night. I was so glad he was back and all right, I hoped he'll help me fill the papers for my departure next week. I sighed, I still have to tell Rachel, six months are gonna be so fucking long without her. Before any mission like that would have me thrilled but now I wasn't alone anymore, I really wanted something with her.
As I entered the flat, I found it rather calm, "Levi? Anyone?" I wondered out loud, looking around the rooms, that's when I saw him closing my door slowly,
"Hey bro" his smile turning into a grimace,
"What the fuck were you doing in my room? Don't tell me Q is in there too", I said wrinkling my nose,
He put his hands up "easy Puck, it's Rachel who is in there, and before you work yourself up, she showed up an hour ago pretty messed up looking for you, she finally fall asleep while I was comforting her…"
He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, the same habit as mine when he was nervous,
"I'm sorry I don't know more…"
"Shit you are saying that she came up crying asking for me and you didn't call me, move!"
I pushed him aside and entered my room. She was indeed asleep in my bed but with a frown on her face. I'd still see her tears streamed down on her face, she was crying in her sleep. Damnit! What could have happened that had upset her so much? I knew it was a restless sleep anyway so I shook her gently,
"Rae? Wake up babe," she stirred slowly, taking in her surroundings,
"Oh Noah" she breathed out before throwing herself in my arms,
"Hey it's ok I've got you babe wanna tell what happen? You've got me worried and I think you scared Levi too, we're not that good with tears ya know" I said chuckling, trying to ease the mood,
"Oh my god Levi! He must think I'm crazy I'll have to apologize to him" she rushed out,
"Yeah you must have seen his face when I confronted him priceless"
"Noah, don't make fun of him he was kind enough to take care of me when I-I well…" she said fiddling with her fingers,
"Yeah about that what's going on?" she still wasn't looking at me so I took her face between my hands,
"Rae, you came here because you obviously needed me for whatever reason, so no more running ok? Tell me what's the matter please?" I begged her
She sighed before standing up, she put herself in front of the window, and she crossed her arms around her like she always did when it came to her past. I frowned so this was really what I thought it was about. She kept her back to me as she started talking,
"As you must know because that's what you asked me when we first met, I was in a relationship. His name was Finn, he was my first real boyfriend you know, well my first everything actually. We met in high school and were inseparable, we'd do everything together, causing problems with San and Sam who didn't see me much, we argued and parted for a long time. I realized now that he had that influence on me, he managed to cut me off my friends, to make me dependent of him. He made me lose some weight, a lot of little things that I didn't see as wrong back then, we…"
While she talked I clenched my fists that guy was definitely a prick who smothered her and made her become his thing by isolate her from her friends…
"… were going to go to college when we started talking about moving in together, well it must have been more me than him but he agreed to let me check out for places. Two days later, I hurried to his place, I was so excited because I had found this lovely flat near my friends and the campus, I used the key he gave me and let myself in. I didn't hear anything at first, but then it was like muffled noises… so I-I" she sighed loudly, I stood up to get to her but she heard me and stopped me with her hand "Don't I-I have to do this", I sat back down to let her finish even if I wanted to hold her to help her get throw this but she was right she had to do it on her own.
"I-I went to his room and he-he didn't even see me, they were going at it and his back was to me but she saw me tough. She smirked at me and made sure to ask him if he liked what she was doing to him and all kinds of sick things, knowing I was listening. I was like frozen, my feet wouldn't let me move, when they finally finished she asked him if she was better than me and he confirmed it. Then I turned and ran out, I heard him chasing me and calling my name but I was already in my car and I headed straight to Tana's place. Although we weren't in great terms she took me in, I-I was a mess Noah because the worst part was that it wasn't a random slut it-it was a good friend of mine he was with, I cried myself to sleep that night."
My body was shaking as I heard her all I could see was red, that asshole hurt her in the worst way. This time when I approached her she let me put my arms around her from behind. She placed her hands on mine on her stomach as I kissed her neck slowly. She laid her head on my shoulder and kept going,
"San and Sam didn't know what to do with me I passed a month without eating, talking or even moving from my room, they thought about make me go to an hospital to force me to eat, I don't really remember much of this time anyway, I just know that one day after a lot of tentative I finally responded to them. Since then, I stayed really close to them, they took care of me a lot ya know, especially Sam, that's why he is really protective of me." I huffed at that she still didn't see that now Sam wanted more than taking care of her in a friend way he was making me sick by the way he looked at her in the parking lot or at that party. Fortunately, they didn't see each other often anymore.
"Obviously I didn't take him back. I learned after by San that she was pregnant and they lived together now. Today as I was closing the diner I-"she took a deep breath and cleared her throat some more, I squeezed her to me to show her that I was here for her,
"He was waiting for me outside. He-he said that she had cheated on him too and that the baby wasn't his and that he-he wanted me back. I-I was so confused Noah," I pulled away from her, frowning and feeling my body shaking from anger. What was she trying to say? That she wanted him back too? That she came here to end up things with me? No she couldn't…
I felt her hands on each side of my head,
"Noah?! Noah do you hear me?" I shook those thoughts away and focus on her and her beautiful brown eyes locked in mine,
"Look at me baby, I'm not leaving you, that thought never crossed my mind so strop thinking about it ok?" I nodded slowly as she pecked my lips,
"I told him to get lost and that's when he started talking about y-you, he said that you'll always be a player that you'll be gone soon and that I'll come back to him but what was the worst is that he said that you would ch-cheat on me like he did be-because I wasn't good enough…" she finished, her body no longer in contact with me and her eyes down. She didn't believe that did she? I was already plotting a way to make that bastard disappear without proof maybe with the guys help… I sighed and I hugged her to me,
"Rae I like you too much to ever think of doing something like that. I promise you as you had promised me before I only want you. Just you babe, only you" I kissed her as tears fall on her cheeks, she put her arms around my neck and deepened the kiss, I caressed my tongue with her slowly. We only stopped when air was necessary.
That night I knew something change between us, because that night we didn't have sex, I made love to her and as I realized it, it didn't even freak me out…
RPOV
The sunlight was slowly passing through the window, lightening his beautiful face as I watched him sleep. He was almost smiling in his sleep, his sleep looked so peaceful. I was so glad that we had wiped the slate clean last night, I felt relieved that we were on the same page now, we both confessed on our past and instead of bringing us apart it made us stronger, closer. As I wondered around the room I found some papers. I switched on the small desk light and read them quickly. I gasped loudly, the papers were suddenly a blur as my hands shook no my whole body was shaking. I jumped as I heard his voice,
"Rae? Why aren't you in bed? Whatcha looking at?" he mumbled, touching my arm,
"That's what you were doing yesterday huh?
He released my arm and sat back, running his hand across his scalp… wait… his hair. My chest tightened around me, making it difficult to breath as the reality of him leaving despite everything he'd just said, everything we'd shared washed over me. But I knew, I knew that if that was his choice, I was staying here.
"You reenlisted…"
"No…I… I didn't have a choice…"
"You are going away…" my tears fall faster now,
"I joined the reserves, so, yeah I can be call up that's what happened…"
"When?"
"When what?"
"Don't play numb with me Noah, since when are you aware of this?" I said slowly,
He sighed, "Rae I…" grabbing my hand,
"Don't Rae me, answer me!" I snapped pulling my hand away,
"The day of the party…" he muttered, the tears kept rolling on my cheeks as I tried to clean them with the back of my hand,
"When?" I whispered, looking up at him his eyes mirrored my sorrow,
"Next week…"
A/N : ..and that's a wrap of the heaven don't be mad that I finished it like that because I'm working on a sequel. the sequel will focus on Puck's departure and Rachel dealing with it. I'll start uploading it when I'll have 5chapters written. Just hope that the muse will kick fast. I hope you'll still be there to read it too :)
