Conundrum
It was true the L didn't sleep often, but as he'd noted before, since the children had arrived, he'd been doing so a bit more often. After he awoke from the dream, he had tried to begin his work at the computer again, but somehow his eyes drooped and thus he was out again.
The sun had already risen and he'd only had his eyes closed for a few minutes when his day unexpectedly began.
Watari stood at the end of the hallway L's room was on, carrying a large device. It was strapped to him, and he patiently adjusted it so that it was comfortable. Once he was sure he had it right, he raised something in his hands, twirling them in a flashy way. Ah, looked like he still had it. Without further ado, he struck the device attached to him. A large drum. He beat out a steady rhythm, the bass ringing loudly in the walled area.
The moment L heard it, it ripped him from his slumber and startled him enough to where he jumped out of his seat, landing on his stomach on the floor. In doing so, Beyond was also pulled with him. Their eyes met for a second and both mirrored each other's thoughts: This can't be good.
"Come on, look alive boys!" Watari called out as he continued to pound down the hallways. "Up and at 'em! I want all of you down stairs in two minutes. Got that?"
L groaned, pulling himself to his feet. Somebody please tell me I'm still dreaming, he thought.
"I can't hear you!" Watari screamed from a floor above. He was now in between their floor and the children's.
"Sir, yes sir!" Beyond yelled sarcastically.
"I didn't hear you, L!" Watari shrieked.
Damnit! "Sir, yes sir!" L shouted dryly.
"Alright then! Downstairs in…oops, looks like L cost you all thirty seconds. One minute and fifteen seconds left, ladies! Move it!" The drum sounded again, but faded as the man headed the opposite direction of the rooms.
L was already dressed, although since he was still in what he wore last night, he really wanted to take a bath and change. But there was no time. Dragging Beyond with him, he lamented over having to miss even the basic parts of hygiene.
Shortly after reaching the first floor, the boys stumbled down in line. Mello's blue eyes were narrowed furiously, nostrils flaring. Matt looked like a zombie, with deeper shadows around his eyes than before and his clothes fully wrinkled. He was awake, though he kept blinking blearily. But Near…the child was sleeping standing up, swaying slightly where he stood.
Watari entered seconds later, the task force behind him. Great…all of them looked very amused at this scene. The chance to see L being tortured was just too much for them to miss. Oh, and Beyond as well. The children had been a bit rowdy, but not towards them themselves. Front row seats for all.
"Alright, listen up!" Watari yelled. "I'm sick of the discord and chaos that has prevailed since your arrival," he said, eyes trailing the four boys. But to show that L was included in this, he flicked his eyes at him. "I believe what's in order is some good, hard work to build character. So, I have come up with various chores for each of you to do."
"Starting with you, Mello, Matt, and Near, you will begin fixing the holes you have created throughout the building and—"
"But it's nearly finished!" Screamed Mello defiantly. "We even came up with a way to make people travel up floors faster!"
Just as he said this, Light yawned hugely, lifting his left hand high above his head. Of course he was wearing his precious Rolex watch, so heavy from the metal it took to create it. Suddenly, he felt his wrist being jerked upward. He looked up to see a very large magnet attached to the ceiling, next to one of the boy's 'portals'. Wait…how the hell?! The power of it was so strong that he started to lift off the ground by only the watch!
"Somewhere in a textbook of gravity, this has got to be impossible!" Light shouted. He was about to add more, but his body couldn't fight back anymore. The magnet ripped him from the ground, sucking him up to where it was placed, roughly twenty feet above their heads.
Now at this close range, not only was his watch sticking but his belt buckle too. And…his tie? Yes, Light Yagami was wearing a cheap, clip-on tie.
"Turn the fucking magnetism off!" He yelled at the others. "I look like Spiderman up here!"
"Cool, Spiderman!" All the younger boys whispered excitedly.
Watari frowned at them, then walked over to a far wall. It was tiled, and at first glance, nothing seemed out of place. But on closer look, one would note that a panel close to the floor (placed so low so the children could reach it) looked chipped around the corners. Watari pressed it and an electronic touchpad became visible. He swiftly punched in a few numbers, then a final button which must've been the Enter key.
The quiet hum that had gone unnoticed until then stopped, and Light became detached from the ceiling. Only thing was, he was twenty feet up…quite the fall.
"Somebody catch me!" He shrieked, falling fast.
His father, Mogi, and Aizawa tried. But it was Matsuda who did the job.
…Only because he was directly under Light's path. His and Matsuda's eyes met for the briefest of seconds before he landed, and Light only had one thought: Oh, I'm so screwed. He fell on the man hard, both having the breath knocked out of them.
They scrambled up, dusting themselves off. "So, um, uh…I kinda saved your life…" Matsuda began, but Light cut him off.
"You saved me from another concussion, something I could've dealt with. I don't owe you a thing."
"Aww," Matsuda whined. "I was just hoping we could finally be friends! I mean, you're so cool and stuff!"
"Yeah, I know," Light said arrogantly, turning his nose up at him.
The boys had begun twittering amongst themselves again. "How the hell did Watari know the pass code?!" Mello complained.
"Forget that, seriously, how was Light lifted up by only his watch?! And why only him?" Matt wondered.
"Because he's a douchebag," Near put in indifferently, twirling a strand of hair.
"And just who's the one to have even gotten the magnet up there?!" L cut in, truly amazed at this new feat.
"I want another sandwich," Beyond muttered, rubbing his stomach hungrily.
"That's enough!" Watari shouted, bringing back order. "As I was saying, you boys will fix those holes and remove the giant magnets…although I must say that even I'm intrigued by how you installed them without anyone else noticing…."
"L, you will be in the kitchen with me. And Beyond…" He turned his eyes coldly to the teenager. At the attention, B took up a slouch, putting a finger to his lips and grinning again. "You, Beyond Birthday, will clean up Matsuda's entire suite, namely the bathroom you defiled. I will allow L to release you during that time. "
Beyond's smile fell. "What?! He hasn't cleaned it up himself yet? Ew!"
"I don't know if he has or hasn't, but that's not the point. For having ruined it in the first place, you will clean up the entire area." Watari turned back to the group at large. "Well, alright then. Get to it! Chop, chop!"
Each Wammy's boy grumbled off to their station. Matsuda followed Beyond to his suite to keep an eye on him, but smartly dragged Aizawa with him. Beyond probably now felt he had a vendetta with him and to be alone with the kid would not be wise.
Soichiro was actually in charge of looking after the three youngest as they fixed their portals. The entire time as they marched off, Mello muttered things like, "Damn old geezer… as an inventor himself, you'd think he'd appreciate such a creation! But noooo! Only invention he really has use of is L! Arrgh, I hate both of them!"
As for L himself, he was first made to wash dishes. And unfortunately for him, he didn't understand a single step of the process. He was a detective; he solved cases, not cleaned houses. So it came as a bit of an embarrassment when he found himself staring at the bottle of dish detergent for five minutes straight as he wracked his brain to remember anytime he'd surveyed anyone who'd been washing dishes.
"L, what are you doing?" Watari asked him after having watched the man turn the bottle over and over several times in his hands.
"Oh, um, nothing in particular. It's just that…I hear the bell—"
"Ryuzaki, don't try that psycho-babble on me. You forget that I raised you, so I know all those mind tricks you like to play on others. I swear, at times, you're no better than Beyond. "
Ouch! L's inner self flinched.
"Now, tell me, what problem are you having with the detergent?" Watari commanded.
"Well…um…I suppose Dawn is a nice brand but um…uh…" His mind drew a blank as he fought to remember another type of detergent. "But, I suppose, uh…Gain would be better?"
Watari stared at him a moment longer, then actually face-palmed. "Ryuzaki. Gain is a laundry detergent."
"Oh."
"I see what the problem is. And all I have to say is…how in the world could you not know something as simple as making up dishwater?"
"Oh, I don't know, maybe because I have bigger things on my mind? Like fighting corruption, ridding the world of evil, bringing closure to families of unsolved mysteries, you know, stuff like that," L said sarcastically.
"Don't get fresh with me!" Watari snarled. What had gotten into him? He could never remember L being so cheeky.
"I'm sorry Watari. Forgive me." Like a puppy that had been properly chastised, L lowered his head submissively, and turned back to his sink of dirty dishes.
The Englishman sighed, and moved over to him. "Here, let me show you how it's properly done." He turned the knobs until hot water came out, and then added the detergent. He swished his hand around in it to make it soapier, then dropped in the dishcloth. "Nothing to it," he said, stepping back.
"I see," L said, although on the inside he was seething at not knowing something as easy as this. Once again, it was a good thing L was only a name and voice, not an actual person to the general public.
The old man had left him with all the dishes from the night before. As he slowly scrubbed at them, Watari sat down at a small table and had a cup of tea.
After an indefinite amount of time had passed, Beyond slouched into the room, but not because he was trying to appear devious. This time, he was thoroughly tired. "You know, I'm as much of a neat freak as they come, but I have found a new appreciation for maids. I've never seen so much chaos in one room! Oh my god, Matsuda's bedroom! Who the hell puts their porn magazines next to their books of the World Encyclopedia?!"
Light happened to be standing in the doorway, and began whistling in a very nonchalant way, looking everywhere but at him.
Soon after Beyond had come in, the boys all but dragged themselves through the door too. Well, except Mello. The other two were worn out, but he was a constant spitfire. "All that hard work, to waste! I can't believe it! This is an outrage! I demand anarchy! I want the world to know that Mihael Kheel is not one to be trifled with!"
Suddenly, Matt and Near fell into fits of laughter. "Pfft, hahaha! That's your real name?!" Matt spluttered. "Mihael?! Mello, you're European? And to think, you can't stand Euro-dance music!"
"Shut up! Your real name's Mail! What kind of name is that? You're named after postage!"
Matt immediately sobered up. He shrugged. "So?"
Near finally got the last laugh. "Heh, I have a cool name. Nate River."
"Yeah, but you still look like a human sheep!" Mello screeched, falling over in a fit of laughter.
"I'll have you know that women adore me," Near sniffed, then turned on a heel and walked over to the table.
The only one that hadn't finished his task was L. By now, his hands were raw, his hair was limp and he stared with single-minded determination at the same plate he'd been scrubbing for the past two minutes.
Light saw him struggling, and actually came over to help. "Ryuzaki, that water's cold…and dirty. Perhaps you should change it," he said, and reached over to pull the plug out of the drain.
L snatched up a knife and stabbed near his hand. His eyes were bloodshot and he looked as crazed as B. "No, you're going to leave this water alone! You hear me?!"
"Alright! Damn! Just know that I'm not eating off of any of your dishes!" Light said, backing off.
"You sure, Watari-san, that he's going to be okay?" Matt asked the man, whispering to him behind a hand.
"Yes, Ryuzaki can take abnormal amounts of stress. Trust me, this is nothing to him. He's simply being fussy like a child because he doesn't want to do it."
And so, it was with that that everyone waited for another half hour until L was finished. When at last the last pot was put in the dish rack to dry, Watari got up and spoke to them.
"Well now, wasn't that fun? You see how cleaning builds character?"
"Only character it built for me is a pissed-off one," Mello muttered.
"But oh, there's so much more to be done!" Watari continued. "We haven't even gotten to the fun part! The outside of the windows!"
In response to his enthusiasm, all five of the 'Wammy boys' collapsed in exasperation on the table.
This was evil. Pure and simple evil.
