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Epilogue
Four chimes rang out softly throughout the Karasuno campus, signifying the midday break for lunch had begun. As some students moved their materials to the side of their desk to make room for their packed lunches and others quickly left the room to meet with friends, Suga gathered his books together, calmly slung his brown bag over his shoulder and departed the room. As he left, Suga could tell that the instructor, as well as a few students, were watching him silently, despite their efforts to mask their observing. Suga did not react to the obvious stares and simply started walking down the hallway, passing by several open classrooms and groups of chatting students. Sun shined through the windows of the hallway, reflecting off the polished floor of Karasuno's hallways like it was recently cleaned and waxed. Suga could hear students outside through the open windows, laughing together and enjoying the consistently bright and shining day while they could between classes. As he moved through the hallway, Suga kept his head straight, looking directly down the hallway while preventing himself from glancing over at the students he passed that were also trying to avert their own gazes from him. This was actually rather simple to do, since everyone seemed to give Suga his own radius of space, a fact of which Suga was also well aware.
It has been a little over two months now since the Karasuno Crash, as many news outlets had come to refer to the incident on the mountain. Suga's wounds had mostly healed by this point, his broken nose setting after only a couple weeks and his broken shoulder healing after six weeks, although it was still sore if he overexerted himself. Initially, everyone in the school was very supportive of him and the other surviving volleyball members but after about a month, the students in the school slowly began avoiding them. To an extent, Suga understood their reasoning. 'What would you even say to someone who went through something like that?' he would think, rationalizing this isolation the remaining team members started to experience at school. There were still some exceptions, like Yui Michimiya, who would make a point to check in with a few of the members despite her own sorrow over Daichi's passing, but most did not have the same initiative. Now that this treatment had persisted for a some time, Suga had come to accept it somewhat, and just through school day by day the best he could.
After passing by several classrooms and taking the stairs down to the first floor, Suga arrived at his destination; a classroom with an open door and about eight or nine students still inside. He walked inside and scanned the room quickly for the person he came to see, who was sitting a few seats from the back of the room near the window. This was a classroom for second-years at Karasuno, including the wing-spiker Ryūnosuke Tanaka. After stiffening his lower lip and taking a breath, Suga calmly walked over to the open window next to Tanaka's desk and laid his bag on the floor. He folded his arms and leaned them against the windowsill as he stared out at the Karasuno gymnasium, which this classroom faced. "Are you coming tomorrow?" Suga finally said while still looking at the building he has yet to set foot in for two months.
"Not sure," Tanaka said dismissively as he continued to unpack his home-packed meal, "Still thinking about it." Tanaka had changed significantly since the crash, becoming distant from most of the surviving members of the team, aside from Ennoshita and Suga, and developing a more reserved persona. The fire that used to burn vibrantly inside of him had been snuffed out and, strangely, Tanaka had turned to his studies to distract himself from what he had been feeling and experiencing. Though he still did not perform very well, the second-year had discovered that focusing his mind on his classes prevented himself from focusing on the grisly scene he witnessed on the mountain. Although it had become obvious to Suga that this was Tanaka's method of grieving, the third year was still unsure if Tanaka was even aware of his own drastic personality shift. "We'll see," Tanaka added as he unwrapped his utensils.
Suga sighed and looked down at the green bush below the window, "You said that yesterday, Tanaka." Other students had stopped talking when Suga walked into the room and started talking to Tanaka but the noise had resumed at this point, although their conversations had become hushed whispers that neither Suga nor Tanaka could hear.
"Yeah, well," Tanka started, pausing only to take a bite from the chicken and rice in his meal, "Nothing's changed since yesterday." Tanaka also was not looking at Suga yet and instead opted to stare forward at the board in the front of the class, on which the teacher left a few notes concerning the lecture that he just went through.
Suga turned around and leaned his back against the windowsill in order to face the second year. Unlike most of the other members who had incurred broken limbs and had them heal within the previous two months, Tanaka ended up tearing his ACL in his leg and was not expected to make a full recovery for a full four or five months at the earliest. Because of this, Tanaka still required crutches as well as a cast, the former of which was on the ground parallel to his desk with two small towels laying on top of them which Tanaka used to cushion the crutches underneath his arms when he used them. "You really should come," Suga insisted, folding his arms again and crossing them in front of his torso, "When is the last time you even talked to the others?"
"I saw Ennoshita yesterday," Tanaka declared nonchalantly, brushing the senior's question off to the side.
Suga stared directly at Tanaka, irritated by the response he was given. Suga was well aware that Tanaka communicated with Ennoshita as well, as the three of them all ate lunch together the previous day. "That's not what I meant," he responded in a stern tone, "You really need to come tomo-"
The second year struck the top of his desk lightly with his open hand to interrupt and stop Suga from continuing. "Look, i'll see if I can, alright?" Tanaka fired back with a more irritated tone, "Just stop asking me over and over."
Suga had been talking with Tanaka almost every day since the incident. There would be days that Tanaka would talk at length and others that he would only say a few words, though lately he had been speaking more and more with both Suga and Ennoshita, indicating that he had started mentally healing, if ever so slightly. A silence came over the two of them for a moment before Suga replied, "Alright, fine." He picked his bag up, understanding that Tanaka wanted to be left alone right now, and started to head toward the door after patting his friend's shoulder and remarking, "Remember: 6 o'clock."
Before taking even three steps from Tanaka, Suga was hailed by the second year. "Hey... Suga..." Tanaka
started, turning his head a touch in Suga's direction. He had tried not to think about everything that had happened during and since the crash but there was one burning question on Tanaka's mind that he needed to ask Suga. The third year stopped and silently turned toward the second year, awaiting the rest of the question, though he had an inkling what it may be concerning. Tanaka continued once Suga stopped and turned, flatly asking, "Do you think Asahi's coming?"
"Yeah," the setter replied directly, "I think I finally talked him into it. I'll see if I can get in to see him later today." With that response, Suga quickly turned away and left the room, not wanting to discuss the matter of Asahi further.
Of all of the survivors, the only two to not return to school after the accident were Hinata, due to his continued coma-state, and Asahi. After the accident, Asahi stayed in the hospital for a few days, denying all visitors aside from his parents, before being released to his parents and instructed to see a professional psychiatrist. Similar to Tanaka, the third year had a torn muscle, but in his upper back instead of his leg. This means that, unlike many of the survivors who had broken legs or other extremities that were healing relatively fast, Asahi was not expected to recover for well over 6 months, possibly even reaching as far as a full year. His right arm was nearly unusable at this point and was instructed to keep it protected in a sling or a cast and to try and prevent himself from overexerting himself further with that side of his body to prevent further damage or slow the healing process.
As prescribed by his new psychiatrist and with special permission from the school board of administrators, Asahi was pulled out of school by his parents not a week after the incident due to an extreme combination of physical and emotional trauma. The Azumanes struck a deal with the school system, who agreed to allow Asahi to finish up his remaining coursework during the summer remedial courses. Furthermore, Asahi locked himself up inside of his house in a state of self-incarceration away from everyone else, rarely ever leaving his home and rejecting all who came to console him. The only exception to this exclusion was the only other remaining third year from the team, Suga. The Azumane family quickly became accustomed to the sight of Suga, who visited almost daily after school, and even went so far to give him a copy of the house key, basically treating Suga as a part of the family due to his persistence in trying to get Asahi back on his feet.
Suga's plan for the upcoming day was to attempt to gather all of the survivors back together again for a meeting or a discussion, something similar to a support group. No one on the team had played volleyball since that horrific day and most of the players, Suga included, silently agreed on disbanding the team, at least for the time being. Therefore, his intentions are not to get the team back together again, but to assess everyone's current emotional states and to remind everyone that they were all in this situation together. Almost everyone Suga talked to agreed on meeting together once again in the gymnasium despite some initial resistance or uneasiness from some like Tanaka. However, Asahi remained silent every time Suga brought it up to him, except for the last time they spoke.
Suga brought up the meeting place before leaving Asahi's house the day prior, expecting the usual blank response but unusually Asahi answered with a simple, "I know." Suga was taken aback by this but did not want to press it further, knowing how fragile of a state Asahi was in at this point. In fact, during several of their meetings, the two never spoke aside from a greeting and a farewell. This would typically happen when Suga brought his friend a new book from the library to read, which Asahi would accept and begin silently reading immediately, prompting Suga to work on his own homework during the silence. Suga was unsure if this was a healthy situation or not but Asahi always seemed appreciative of the books, despite never asking Suga to bring him anything.
When Suga left Tanaka's classroom, he looked up and down the hallway, noticing that a few sophomores had purposely made way for him so that he could leave unobstructed, and made his way over to the gym. Though it had been two months since the incident, no one from the team had entered the gym, at least as far as Suga was aware. Even Suga did not want to walk in just yet, dreading what memories would resurface if he were to do so, though he was well aware taking the simple step back onto the polished wood floor would be good for facing and accepting what had happened. It was for this reason that he scheduled the meeting to be held at the gymnasium itself, which was one of the main concerns for most of the other team members.
To psych himself up for going back inside, he had been spending the last couple weeks eating his lunches on the steps in front of the gymnasium door. As usual, no one else was in the immediate area and Suga was able to eat in solitude, which he actually came to grow accustomed to over time. As he unpacked his food, Suga observed the windows of the main school building in front of him, all of which were too glared by sunlight to see through. On the days that the clouds covered over the sun, Suga could usually see through the windows and watch students gleefully stroll through the halls during the break or lean against the windows with their backs as they talked to their friends. Occasionally, he would see people looking down at him, or perhaps simply looking out the window at the school grounds, he was never completely sure in most cases. However, there were instances where he would see Tsukishima on the other side of the window, staring at the gymnasium with his typical deadpan expression. As per usual, the first year was always seen alongside Yamaguchi, particularly since both were still recovering from some of the worst injuries inflicted. Furthermore, with Tsukishima's injury making a rather rapid recovery, he was recently taken off of his prescribed crutches and given a walking cast, allowing him to help Yamaguchi get around, as the latter was still restricted to a wheelchair.
Suga shivered slightly as he sat on the cold stone steps, reaching for a thermos he had to take a drink of hot tea he had inside. Being in the middle of December now, snow had covered the surrounding area, the walkway up to the gym and the stairs being spared due to the roof that protected the walkway. Though it was cold, Suga persevered and continued to eat, he noticed someone opening the door of the school into the courtyard. To his surprise, the person closed the door and approached him directly and it was not long until Suga to identify the figure as Ennoshita, the only other remaining second year. Ennoshita walked up to the third year with his hands buried in his pockets and not carrying anything, not even his bag or a container for food.
"Hey, Suga" Ennoshita waved with his right hand as he approached, stepping carefully down the roofed walkway in case layers of unseen ice had coated the pavement. He was wearing the standard winter garb for students at Karasuno which consisted of matching black pants and coat, the latter with five buttons going up the front of his chest. Suga wore the same thing but had a light blue scarf going around his neck whereas Ennoshita was wearing a dark green beanie which was pulled down enough to cover all but the bottom of his ears. Though still sore, Ennoshita's wrist and fingers, now buried deep in his pockets after the short wave, had almost fully recovered to the point that he could use it as normal, though his physicians suggested he continue to refrain from athletic activity. Likewise, his right leg had also recovered, though a slight limp remained in his step as he adjusted to life without a cast again.
Suga returned the greeting in kind, putting his food down and waving to his friend while covering his mouth with the other hand, "Hey man, did you already eat?" Suga noticed the fact that Ennoshita was without a bag of any kind, a strange occurance as they typically eat together at least once a week, sometimes on the steps of the gym. Ennoshita understood Suga's rationale for wanting to eat there and therefore never questioned Suga's choice of dining locations.
"Yeah, I only had a little bit of soup," Ennoshita responded, reaching Suga's location. He turned around and plopped down next to Suga onto the step as he exhaled, "Ahhhh…" Once down, he stretched his right leg out onto the pavement in front of him, holding onto his bent left leg to keep balance. This was fairly normal for the second year, as the most painful area left in his leg was the stress movement put on his knee, so stretching his leg relieved the tight muscles well. Ennoshita then wrapped his arms around his own body and shivered, looking at the condensation of his breath accumulate in front of him, "It's getting colder by the day it seems."
After taking another bite of chicken, Suga answered, "Yeah a bit." He looked around at the perfect layer of snow on the normally green grass and continued, "I don't really mind that much, though. The fresh air is still nice." Strangely enough, winter was always one of Suga's favorite seasons, tied with Summer. He always enjoyed the warmth that summer brought and the sunny skies but he also tended to enjoy how visually pleasing a fresh coat of winter snow was to behold, as well as the slight sting the cold air applied to the skin.
"You have a point there," Ennoshita replied, leaning back with his hands behind his head so he lay flush against the concrete of the step they sat upon. "I saw you leave my class earlier," he started, still looking directly up at the roof of the walkway, "Did you see Tanaka?"
After chewing and swallowing the final piece of chicken he had left, Suga simply replied, "Yep." He opened up his thermos and took another sip from his hot tea, a much larger one now, almost emptying the container itself.
"He hasn't been in the best of moods today," Ennoshita explained, as he shares the classroom with Tanaka and also sits next to him "So he probably wasn't the easiest to talk to." As the only second years remaining, Ennoshita and Tanaka became even closer friends than before, each relying on the other for support, although in most instances it was Ennoshita consoling Tanaka rather than the other way around. Similar to Asahi, Tanaka was one of the most mentally scarred of the survivors, completely changing his personality but having the reliable Ennoshita to lean upon.
Suga started to pack up the remains of his lunch, realizing that it was nearing the end of the lunch period and he should return to his classroom in a few minutes. As he cleaned up, he explained to Ennoshita of the encounter with Tanaka, describing how he acted and the question regarding Asahi. "I think he will come though," he said after placing everything back into his brown bag, "Tanaka, I mean. Still not exactly sure about Asahi but I feel like he'll finally come out to see everyone." He stood up and took a deep breath of the cold air before turning back to the second year and offering his hand to help him up, "You're still coming right?"
"Of course," Ennoshita quickly replied while taking Suga's offer of assistance and raising to his feet, "You know I wouldn't miss it, and I'll make sure Tanaka is there too." The idea to have the entire intervention or meeting between all the surviving members was actually the brainchild of both Ennoshita and Suga, though the latter was the one to advertise it to everyone else, as they both figured that Suga's senior authority would more likely prompt everyone to comply and meet. Ennoshita wiped a little snow off of the elbow of his coat and the two looked back at the doors of the gym together, thinking about what everyone's reactions would be to actually stepping foot inside that once-beloved location. "It's not going to be the same," Ennoshita said out loud, partially on accident.
"No," Suga softly said back, his gaze locked on the handle of the door, still preparing himself for having to eventually open it once more, "No it won't. But we can still help them. Asahi and I will be leaving soon but you guys still have a while at this school to go,especially the first-years." Suga glanced back up at the window where he saw Tsukishima previously, although the blonde had since walked away, presumably to his own classroom with Yamaguchi.
As the two walked away together, Suga started to think more about what he had just said to Ennoshita and what that will mean for everyone else. Sighing, he pulled one hand out of his pockets and tapped Ennoshita lightly on the shoulder, "Hey. When we're gone, Me and Asahi I mean… Keep an eye on them for me, okay?" He knew that it was a big responsibility to ask of Ennoshita, but considering Tanaka's emotional state at the moment, Ennoshita would be the most likely prospect for this kind of issue.
Ennoshita didn't break a step, assuming he would take the role of mentor or advisor anyway upon becoming a senior in a few months, "Don't worry Suga, just give them time. They'll recover." He was very optimistic about how everyone would progress after the accident, despite struggling himself with the loss of his best friends. His philosophy of life had shifted slightly upon realizing that if he did not remain strong, at least outwardly, then no one would be able to rely on him or for help or consul. "In the meantime, I'll keep track of everyone, don't worry at all."
"Thanks, Ennoshita," Suga replied, relieved that he would take this job so easily and without opposition. With that, the two parted ways, Suga returning to his classroom on the second floor and Ennoshita to his room with Tanaka on the first.
The rest of the day went as any other for the rest of the team. Each attended their classes, aside from Asahi, and left the school once released, each returning to their own respective homes. Suga normally would refrain from visiting Asahi too often in order to allow him space and even though he had visited his friend each of the past three days, he was tempted to do so once again. Asahi never gave the full confirmation that Suga wanted or hoped for concerning the meeting, hardly dignifying Suga's inquiry with any kind of response at all. With the proposed day upon them, Suga considered visiting to advocate the get-together once again but decided to call ahead just in case. When the phone was answered by Asahi's mother, Ryoko, Suga asked if it was acceptable to stop by and visit his friend for a couple hours, but was dismayed when she reported that Asahi's decision to this was a shake of the head. This did not surprise Suga much, as he had been denied before in this way when visiting too often, and decided to simply leave a reminder message with Asahi's mother before conceding and hanging up the phone.
Suga awoke the next morning to another white winter day, the cold of the fading night having frosted the window of his bedroom. He sat up on his bed and looked out the window, seeing a few cars travel up and down the road outside, business as usual for the majority of the town. He brought his hand up and placed it upon the window to clear away some of the moisture in order to see more clearly and felt the sting of the cold weather bite his hand back in response. Though he expected this response, he was still surprised and taken aback, perhaps due to the early morning grogginess that still affected him.
After getting dressed and wishing his mother well for her own busy day ahead, Suga grabbed his brown bag and slung it over his shoulder in order to depart for school. The strap dug into his skin ever so slightly due to the amount of books and other various school supplies he had in the satchel, but less than it did before the accident. Though the bag and most of Suga's belongings were recovered, as were a majority of the belongings for the rest of the team, the strap on his bag caught a tree branch or a sharp rock and was ripped beyond repair. His parents helped him get a new one with an attached cushion on it to lessen the effect of the weight. Although he appreciated the thought and the convenience, he moved the cushion back down toward the end of the strap so to allow the weight of the bag to apply more pressure to his skin. Suga did not do this subconsciously, he simply preferred the feeling his original strap would provide, a small sense of nostalgia to which he continued to cling.
Snow continued to pile on to the ground as the third year made his way to Karasuno High School, many calling this one of the worst winters this region has ever seen. Slowly and carefully, he finally arrived at the school around the same time as many other students, all quickly seeking shelter inside of the building rather than loitering outside the front entrance. The school day proceeded as usual, Suga attending all of his classes and preparing for the upcoming final examinations in each. When the time for lunch rolled around, he opted to stay inside for the first time in quite a while due to the sharp temperature drop, this day being more than 10 degrees celsius lower than the day prior due to the lack of sun and increased levels of snow. Staying in his classroom, the third year ate alone, assuming that his usual lunch compatriot Ennoshita was with Tanaka in his own classroom while Suga munched on food and looked over reference materials for one of his classes. Once the school day ended and everyone returned home, Suga waited for the appropriate time before departing once more for the Karasuno Gymnasium.
The meeting was scheduled for 6:00 p.m. to give enough time for everyone to return home, eat, and finish any small chores or errands. Originally Suga wanted to have the meeting immediately after school concluded, but Ennoshita convinced him to push the time later for the aforementioned reasons. However, by the time Suga left his house, about twenty minutes until 6:00 p.m., the sun had already begun to set, creating a golden glow emanating from the horizon. This was the first time the entire day that Suga saw the sun as the whole sky had been covered with snow clouds since the morning. As such, the snow on the ground had increased significantly since this morning, fully burying Suga's feet as he trudged onward toward the school.
As Suga rounded a corner, he looked up the last street that led up to the school which was one of the steeper hills in the town, and let out a long sigh of exhaustion. He worried about how the others, particularly Yamaguchi, Tanaka, and Tsukishima, would manage to make it to the gymnasium in their condition but knew that their family members would likely give them a ride. This thought brought more doubt to Suga's mind, however, as he started to seriously consider the situation where he walks into an empty gymnasium, nobody showing up besides himself and possibly Ennoshita. It was a scenario he tried his best to ignore but with the weather being as bad as it was, he worried that it may be preferable to postpone the meeting instead. Suga battled with this proposition, worrying even further that were he to postpone the meeting, nobody would agree to a second one. He shook his head and quickly dashed these "What if" situations from his mind and began the trek up the final street, resolving to wait to see who in fact would show up.
Many of the shops on this road were closed or were starting to close for the night, as most halted business in the winter months once the sun set. One shop in particular on the street had been closed indefinitely, however, and had not opened its doors for a few months. As Suga passed by this building, he stopped and turned to look at it, thinking about the days when the lights inside were on and the door was open to welcome customers. This was the shop that was passed on to their former coach, Keishin Ukai, from his mother when she passed away. It is also the location where Ukai committed suicide, since he lived in the two floors above the convenience store. The Sakanoshita Store had been closed ever since, the windows and doors still nailed up and sealed as they had been not long after Ukai's father, Ikkei, emptied the contents of the building and moved away.
Suga looked up at the window at the top of the building facing the street, the one for Ukai's bedroom, and remembered the police cars and the ambulance that blocked off the road the morning after, when his body was discovered. The police attempted to stop all traffic while the situation was taken care of, but since this was the primary street that led to the school, they could not stop the throngs of teenagers who traveled up the sidewalk past the building. Because of this, news of Ukai's suicide spread quickly among the school and the rest of the town, prompting many people, friends and strangers alike, to visit the building and lay flowers and other offerings in front of the store window in respect for the departed. Ukai's funeral and closed wake were held not long after, in which Ikkei, Nekoma's second coach Manabu Naoi, Ukai's friends Yusuke Takinoue and Makoto Shimada, and two others were pallbearers. Ennoshita and Suga wanted to assist as well, but they were both still recovering from their injuries and were not permitted to be pallbearers.
That was the last time a majority of the team was in the same location, as those that did not assist in carrying the coffin still came to pay their respects. The only person missing was Hinata, who was still in a coma at this time, but everyone else from the team attended with their families, even Asahi. That was also the last time anyone had seen the aforementioned senior, who had since become a shell of who he once was; a disheveled wreck of a man and a recluse either scared of the outside world or ashamed of what he had become. Suga turned away from the shop, which still featured some snow-covered offerings out front, as he began to combine the memory of the three seniors all visiting this location together for years with his imagination of Ukai shooting himself in the top-floor room. It was a horrifying image, and one that Suga never wanted to think about again. The third year started walking back up the hill, away from both his long-lost memories and his nightmares.
After a couple more minutes of walking, Suga reached the top of the hill, turning at the entrance to the school parking lot which was faster to walk through than going to the entrance of the school and around the main building. Most of the lot was empty, save a few cars, likely the last few instructors staying late to grade papers or maintenance staff of the school. As Suga approached the side of the lot near the gymnasium, he found that there were two cars parked near each other with only one space in between. Both vehicles, one silver and another light green, were nearly devoid of snow, indicating that they had recently moved, and there were two people standing outside of them leaning against the small silver car. Suga recognized one, a girl, as Saeko, Tanaka's sister, but was unable to identify the other as Akiteru, Tsukishima's brother. Over the past couple months, the two had become good friends, being there to support each other as they assisted their siblings in dealing with the aftermath of the accident.
Saeko easily saw the third year walking toward them in the snow and energetically waved to him, "Suga, hey!" The man next to her turned his head away from Saeko and gave Suga a kind smile but stayed silent for the time being. "How ya been, kid? You're lookin' better!"
"Hi Saeko," Suga answered as he approached, reaching them very quickly due to the easily traversable flat snow of the parking lot. Upon reaching the two, Saeko gave Suga a welcoming hug as they had not seen each other in quite some time, "I've been fine, thanks for asking. Who is this?" Suga questioned, motioning toward Akiteru once Saeko released the third year.
Akiteru offered his right hand to Suga, which the third year accepted and shook as the older man talked, "I'm Akiteru Tsukishima, Kei's brother. Nice to officially meet you Suga, though i've seen you around before." Again, Akiteru gave Suga a bright smile upon finishing his explanation, making Suga feel more comfortable though confused at how somebody like this could be related to the Tsukishima he knew.
"Likewise, nice to meet you," Suga responded, retracting his glove-covered hand back into the pocket of his jacket. He glanced over at the light green van and assumed correctly that it belonged to Akiteru, as he knew the small silver car was Saeko's, a fact he learned when he was a second-year and she offered to drive them to a match. It was then that Suga realized what their presence here meant, "Wait, so does that mean…"
"Yep," Saeko cut Suga off, leaning back against her car and crossing her arms, "They're already inside waiting." The third year was ecstatic at this news since he suspected he would arrive to an empty building; never did he imagine that people would be so punctual and that they would be waiting for him. Without another word, Suga quickly began to jog through the snow toward the doors of the gym, leaving the smiling Saeko and Akiteru behind him. His fears that he developed of even entering the location of the old volleyball practices were completely dashed and replaced with anticipation at seeing the remaining team back together all in one group.
Suga ran up to the covered walkway, almost slipping on the ice covering the exposed pavement, and moved up the stairs to the door, slamming his right arm and shoulder into it to swing it open quickly. The door was easily moveable and it swung open, hitting against the inside wall of the gymnasium as Suga stumbled through, nearly losing his balance in his excitement. As he caught himself and stopped with his arms on his knees, the third year looked up and around him, seeing a small group of scattered people standing not far from the doorway in the center of one of the courts. With the lights on, he easily identified the group. Ennoshita stood closest, taken aback by the sudden and loud entrance of Suga, and was accompanied by Tanaka, who was leaning against a single crutch. To the left of them were Tsukishima in his walking cast and Yamaguchi, who wheeled his wheelchair around to face the startling Suga. Lastly, on the right of Ennoshita and Suga stood Kageyama, who up until recently had a sling on his arm for his broken shoulder and was, along with Ennoshita and Suga, some of the closest people to being "fully healed."
"You okay?" Tsukishima said calmly but sincerely as Suga regained himself and stood back up straight, adjusting his bag and scarf accordingly, both of which had jostled out of position.
This is the kind of reaction that Suga was hoping for as his fear that no one would should up at all was very legitimate, particularly since the weather had turned so sour, so seeing such a large turnout was amazing to him. "I'm fine, i'm fine, thanks. It's so good to see all of you here!" the third year said smiling wide at the group, most of whom gave him a smirk in return. As Suga looked around at his friends, he noticed there were two notable exceptions to make the full turnout: Asahi and Yachi. "Has anyone talked to Yachi? Do you know if she's coming?"
Kageyama stepped forward, still wearing his black winter jacket despite the rather well heated room they were in, "She's visiting Hinata right now, I told her i'd tell her about the meeting when I went back. I usually visit him around six or six-thirty myself, so i'll be headed over there afterword," he explained. It is true that Kageyama had been visiting Hinata daily, hardly skipping a day and typically spending at least an hour in his hospital room. It had gotten to the point that all of the hospital staff knew who Kageyama was at this point, even greeting him by name when he arrived and continuing to let him know that Hinata had yet to wake up. Though he knew it was quite unlikely visiting the sleeping boy would really do anything to help, he felt obligated to do so anyway, and Yachi would occasionally join him, though she usually visited right after school and was gone by the time Kageyama came around.
"Oh okay," Suga returned, understanding Yachi's reasoning, "That's alright, thanks for letting me know." As he thought about it more, he looked to Yamaguchi and asked the first year a question he had been wondering about for a while, "So, Yamaguchi. How exactly did you make it here? Did your parents give you a ride or something because I didn't see them outside."
Yamaguchi shook his head, "No, Akiteru gave me a ride. The snow was really bad so I wasn't planning on going at first," the black-haired teen looked up at his blonde friend holding onto the handles at the back of the chair, "But Tsukki said we should go and convinced his brother to help us out."
In response to this Tsukki scowled and looked away from Suga and the others up toward the balcony of the gym as he voiced out a soft , "Tsk." What Yamaguchi explained was the truth, but Tsukishima did not want the others to know that it was he and not Yamaguchi that advocated more to actually attend the meeting, "I just knew Yamaguchi wanted to go and he needed my help, that's all."
After the explanation, the room got awkwardly quiet as no one said anything for about ten or fifteen seconds. Though in actuality it was only a short stretch of time, the silence made it seem much longer and more excruciating than it really was."So what exactly are we doing here?" Tanaka posed, still a little further away from the rest of the group, "You and Ennoshita wouldn't leave me alone about this so i'm here, but what's the purpose exactly?"
Ennoshita turned to Tanaka and gave him a confused look as he explained, "I told you before! We wanted to get everyone together to show our support for each other!" he exclaimed, slightly put-off that Tanaka seemed to have completely ignored the last time this was explained to him. Ennoshita crossed his arms and hunched over slightly as he continued, softer tone now, "So much had happened to all of us, we need to show ourselves that we'll be okay…"
"So that's it?" Tanaka fired back in a raised voice as he hobbled forward with his cast and crutch, "We're just supposed to stand here and pretend that everything's going to be okay, that there's nothing wrong with this situation?!"
Ennoshita was surprised by Tanaka's reaction. He normally was a very loud and outspoken person, but lately he had kept to himself for the most part, this is the most energy he had shown in quite a while, and it was full of negative emotions. "No, I…." Ennoshita stuttered.
"Hey, Tanaka, calm down," Suga said, attempting to diffuse the situation, "He's just saying that it's been tough on all of us and we thought it would be nice to all get back together again as a team."
At this, Tsukki stepped around Yamaguchi's wheelchair and fired back, "What, are you trying to say that we should try to play again? Are you kidding?"
Ennoshita and Suga together responded very quickly with a "No." It was never their intention to attempt to revive the team and knew that it would be dangerous to propose such a situation. Ennoshita continued to explain after he moved over to Tsukishima and put his hand on the tall first-year's shoulder, "No, no, no, we're not saying that at all, we just want to ta-"
As Tsukishima brushed off Ennoshita's hand and the latter pleaded to the group to calm down, Kageyama quietly interjected, "Well, why not?" Another silence fell over the room as everyone turned to look at him. Suga and Ennoshita in particular were dumbstruck both by the suggestion and by the impending storm that the two were unable to stop at its inception.
After a few seconds, Tsukki responded, "What the fuck do you mean, 'why not'?" The first year was absolutely fuming by this point as he took a couple slow strides toward the young setter. "Have you even looked at what has become of this 'team', if you can even call it that anymore. Half of the members are now dead, Kageyama. Tanaka and I still have broken legs, Yamaguchi is in a damn wheelchair and the other half of your freak duo has been in a coma for months!"
"Hey back off, man," Kageyama yelled back, fired up at the disdainful description of the team and at the insinuation that Hinata could be permanently gone, "All I mean is that when we all recover we should try to play sometime again, I don't mean right now."
"Tsukishima, Kageyama," Suga started, walking up to Kageyama to try and hold him back in case something were to happen between the first years, "Stop, there's no reason for this, we aren't even discussing-"
"How the hell can you even think about that right now? It's a game, Kageyama," Tsukishima continued, throwing his free hand up and stopping himself from forming a clenched fist, "Can you stand here and not think of everyone else who's now six feet under, you insensitive prick?"
"Even if we wanted to play again," Tanaka started, adding to Tsukishima's side of the argument in a more reserved manner, "If you haven't noticed, our captain is dead, our teacher is dead and even our coach is dead. How can we just recover from that? You can't!"
Ennoshita tried his best to stand between the three men all yelling at each other, "Hey guys, seriously, just calm down, this is not what we're here fo-"
Tsukishima scoffed and turned his back toward Kageyama as he slyly remarked, "Maybe if Ukai wasn't such a coward we wouldn't have that problem." He attempted to say this under his breath so that Kageyama could not hear it but he failed to do so and everyone from Yamaguchi to Kageyama heard this hateful comment. It was not a thought that Tsukishima regularly considered about Ukai, but with his anger all being released at once, he had eventually said something he did not entirely mean.
"Tsukki!" Yamaguchi exclaimed, shocked at what his best friend had just said about their late coach.
Even Suga was angry about this comment, shifting from his attitude of trying to disarm the situation to sending his own comment back out, "What the fuck, Tsukishima? How could you even say that about him?" Though Suga himself never agreed with why a person would want to purposely end their own life, he understood Ukai's point of view, particularly after working so hard to save everyone and being rewarded so cruelly by Daichi's father.
"Screw this, i'm done with all of this," Tanaka muttered, turning away from the argument and toward the doors of the gymnasium.
As Ennoshita was busy trying to settle the argument between Tsukishima and Kageyama, Suga moved to try to stop Tanaka, attempting to convince him to stay in vain hope that this meeting they planned could be salvaged. "Tanaka, wait!" Suga called out as he moved in the way of Tanaka's hobbling, "Don't leave! Please, all we want to do is talk things out…"
Suga realized that with this meeting spiraling south quickly, it was unlikely that he would be able to stop Tanaka at this point, but he continued to do all that he could. He wanted to prevent any animosity from spreading and knew that if it was not nipped in the bud now, it would continue to fester. While the others continued to yell at each other, Tanaka moved closer and closer to the door, moving around Suga without stopping. "Suga," Tanaka began to explain, "It's nothing against you, really. I'm just done with this team."
Meanwhile, the yelling between the two first-years had yet to cease and had gotten worse, with Ennoshita in the middle of the two attempting in vain to ease their nerves. "Why do you just have to be such a cold-hearted asshole, Tsukishima?" Kageyama exclaimed, advancing closer toward Tsukishima, completely ignoring Ennoshita's presence, "I barely even said anything and you get all bent out of shape immediately."
"Because you're acting like their deaths didn't even matter," Tsukishima responded, only turning his head but keeping his back toward the black-haired first year, "They die and you want to start playing the second you're better and forget all about them. You're the cold-hearted one here."
"Fuck you, Tsukishima!" Kageyama spat, clenching both of his fists in pure rage.
Ennoshita saw Kageyama's fists tighten up and how furious he was getting and was afraid an actual physical fight would break out between the two. "Kageyama, just let it go!" Ennoshita said, stepping between the two with his arms spread wide, "You too,Tsukishima, stop provoking him!"
"As usual," Tsukishima returned, "The King wants to take back his throne. No matter how many of his subject die along the way." The tall boy started to walk away toward Yamaguchi but added one last remark, "You're a monster."
Kageyama charged forward past Ennoshita's arms at this insinuation, the last straw having been torn to shreds between the two young members of the team. Ennoshita, in response, followed beside the first year, attempting to get to Tsukishima before Kageyama, knowing what was about to happen is the young setter were to get there first. "PIECE OF SHIT!" Kageyama yelled as he charged, prompting Tsukishima to actually turn to look at the boy he turned his back on long ago, seeing both boys charging in his direction, Kageyama with his first raised. It was too late for Tsukishima to defend himself but he tried to put his free hand up in order to brace the incoming strike. However, Tsukishima was quickly shoved to the right, away from Kageyama and, onto the ground landing safely on his behind.
WHAM.
Kageyama had missed his punch for Tsukishima by just a hair but had hit something else. Ennoshita was in better shape than Kageyama, having healed faster, and managed to reach Tsukishima a fraction of a second before the first year, saving him from the punch. However, because Ennoshita needed to use all of his strength to reach the blonde first year, he could not stop his own forward momentum and ended up directly in line for Kageyama's punch. He was struck by the full force of Kageyama's rage between his right eye nose, causing his body to stumble and fall to the floor, writhing in pain. "Ahhhh!" Ennoshita exclaimed as he rolled on the ground holding his nose, which was now bent, broken, and now bleeding a small amount onto the polished wood floor of the gymnasium.
For a few seconds, everyone stood in place except for Ennoshita, taking in the full impact of what had just occurred. After three or four seconds, Yamaguchi loudly remarked, "What the hell is wrong with all of you?!"
Suga fell to his knees after witnessing what had just occurred, seeing the penultimate end to what he attempted to put together and save. The door to the auditorium clinked open behind him after Tanaka opened it using his crutch and the cold air rushed into the auditorium, sending shivers up everyone's spine. Before stepping out, Tanaka left Suga with one last comment, "You see? This is not a team. It's over."
As Suga got up and rushed over to tend to Ennoshita's bleeding nose, Kageyama grabbed his bag and stormed out the door on the opposite side of the gymnasium, with Tsukishima and Yamaguchi following suit through the door that Tanaka had used.
"Ennoshita, are you okay?!" Suga wailed, steadying his friend by rolling Ennoshita over onto his back, "Ah, shit, hold on!" the third year got up and rushed over to the door and took a step outside, the cold air again rushing in like an unwelcome visitor. As he opened the door, Suga witnessed Akiteru's green vehicle back up and drive away from the parking lot, Saeko's car already gone and far out of sight by this point. However, this was not his concern at the moment and he instead reached up and grabbed an icicle growing down from the roof of the covered walkway, returning to Tanaka after doing so. "Here, hold this against your nose, it'll help," he said handing the icicle to Ennoshita, who gladly accepted it and followed his senior's order.
The punch had already started to discolor Ennoshita's cheek and his nose was slightly bent to the side, most likely broken from the sheer force of Kageyama's punch. Ennoshita was not crying from the punch but was still wincing in pain and having difficulty breathing through his nose and had to rely solely on his mouth. Suga pulled out his phone and called his mother, telling her that they needed to be picked up as soon as possible, that one of his friends needed to go to the hospital. Despite the bad weather, his mom promised to be there in a couple minutes, and the two disconnected the line, leaving the two alone again to wait.
Ennoshita sat up carefully, still holding the icicle against his nose, which had already stopped most of the bleeding by this point, but still looked terrible. After sitting up entirely, he remarked, "What were we even thinking, Suga?" The third year did not have a response to this question, as his entire thought process had been shattered concerning this meeting. In hindsight, he started to think of multiple ways in which he could have avoided the fight or diffused the situation after it begun, but all these scenarios did was fill him with more regret. After Suga shook his head solemnly, Ennoshita added, "I don't think I can do this Suga."
Confused and concerned at what he fully meant, Suga just let out a soft, "What?"
"This," Ennoshita repeated, "I promised i'd help them. Look over them." Suga now remembered their conversation the previous day where Ennoshita had promised to help take care of the survivors after the seniors had graduated and he and Tanaka became the eldest. "I can't do it. I can't help them all." Ennoshita said sadly, dashing Suga's hopes of helping everybody to recover to who they all once were.
Suga sighed and plopped down next to Ennoshita away from the drops of blood on the floor, "It's okay."
Ennoshita continued further, completely dejected and heartbroken. "I know you tried, Suga, but it's already over. I'm sorry."
The two sat in silence for the last few minutes before Suga's mother arrived with his two younger twin siblings in the back seat. She quickly unbuckled her seatbelt and rand inside bursting through the doors of the gymnasium. Suga insisted that she take his friend down to the hospital to be taken care of but said that he would stay behind to clean everything up. Despite her protests, Suga did not budge on his stance and the second year was escorted away, leaving Suga alone in the empty gymnasium, surrounded by a small pool of blood that stained the floor.
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Hinata's eyes lazily blinked open to the sight of a white pristine ceiling above him and the sound of a constant beeping emitting next to his bed. At first the boy simply thought that his alarm was going off for school and instinctively tried to reach over and turn it off, but realized quickly that that was not the case. Hinata tried to move his arm to turn off the constant beeping next to him, but stopped instantly, realizing that something wasn't right. His arm felt heavy and tingly for some reason, as if he fell asleep on it in a weird way. Soon, his tired eyes trailed down towards his arm to get a better look and as they focused, they fell upon a white cord attached to his finger and the IV going into his forearm. What the? Hinata questioned completely lost, his mind still hazy and groggy from just waking up only moments prior. Hinata knew just by the atmosphere in this room that he was not home but somewhere completely different. Where am I? He wondered while weakly looking down at his arm that had an IV in it. His eyelids felt heavy as he tried to focus more, as if they were weighed down by a ton of bricks. The white pristine ceiling above him, the starch white walls next to his bed, the smells in the room, the bed itself, plus the random tube going into his inner elbow, it was plain to see that this was not Hinata's bedroom. It was no rocket science, this was not his room, nor was this his house, and after a few more seconds of confusion Hinata realized that this was indeed a hospital. How in the world did I end up here…? W-What happened to me?! The boy frantically thought as he tried to sit up, body failing to allow him even the simplest disturbance, as if each bone and muscle in his body rejected the idea of movement of any sort. His body sure was weak, that much was certain, for even the simplest movement caused Hinata to become quickly exhausted and tired. What is going on?! Hinata breathed in and out quickly trying to calm his own nerves.
The room he was in was mostly barren with white walls and a ceiling to match. However, next to him on his bedside table, Hinata noticed an assortment of get-well cards, stuffed animals, and brightly lit things that splashed the boring room with color. Next to his bed was a chair that was pulled up close to him with a light blue jacket hung over the back. Why am I here? Hinata still questioned as he tried to prop up on his elbows once more but again failed to even make his body move in the direction he wanted to, thus causing him to frantically think about worst case scenarios. What happened to me?! Where is everyone? Hinata wondered as he started to get a little bit of feeling back in his left arm and immediately tried to move his right one, though it was still a little stiff, perhaps because it had an IV in it. Ahhhh! Hinata internally screamed as he wracked his brain trying to search for clues, any inkling as to how he got here, where he was, and where his friends were. I can't remember anything about how I got here! What was the last thing I was doing? Hinata thought as he soon became very sick of not knowing anything and initially wanted to get up and walk out the door to go ask someone for help. As soon as he flipped the blanket off of him and tried getting out of bed, he felt his heart rate start to escalate. The muscles in his legs wouldn't cooperate with him and pain rode up his left leg causing him to slightly gasp. His leg was propped up about a foot off the bed in a cast. Why is my leg in a cast?! Hinata questioned rooting through his brain for as much information as he could gather, How did it get like that?!
This was the first time Hinata had even noticed anything about his legs since waking up and now that his full attention was focused on his lower half, he became more worried as he glanced down at his leg in the sling. "WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?!" The first year tried to yell out this time, his voice raspy and hoarse causing him to stop vocalizing entirely. It was as if Hinata had a bad cold for weeks, the small teen wasn't even sure that the voice that he just heard was his own, until he tested it out again. "Hello…?" he questioned himself glaring down at the cast on his leg, his voice raspy and uncertain.
Suddenly, a new voice gasped near the door and yelled his name as Hinata glanced around quizzically to find the owner of the voice. "HINATA!? YY-You're awake!?" A girl shrieked at the doorway and ran closer to his bed, spilling some of her hot coffee on her shirt. "We were all so worried! I'm so glad you're finally awake!"
"Finally?" Hinata questioned looking at the girl now who he noticed instantly as Yachi and her now stained white shirt, "What do you mean asleep? How long was I out for?" Hinata probed as he saw Yachi approach closer to his bedside.
"Too long…" the girl sadly said as she came up to the chair that had the jacket on it previously and sat down setting her hot drink on the table next to a get well soon card and grabbed a tissue out of her jacket pocket and tried wiping off the stain on her shirt. "I just got a text from Kageyama. He says that he should be here soon, then we can talk. I should probably text him the good news!" Yachi fiddled around in her bag and reached in to grab her phone. Hinata smiled slightly and was about to ask her a question when a voice arose from the doorway.
"No need to text me Yachi. I'm already here." Kageyama huffed as he set his bag down on the floor by the doorway and glanced at Yachi sitting down next to the bed. His right knuckles still red and hurting from punching Ennoshita on accident earlier. Yachi slightly gasped in her chair when the bag hit the ground with a small 'wam' sound. She honestly didn't expect Kageyama to be here so soon, seeing as though the meeting was supposed to be going on for at least another ten minutes. Kageyama then scrolled his eyes over and observed Hinata lying in the hospital bed, the small first year look so confused. He wanted to tell him how scared everyone's been lately; he wanted to tell him that he was afraid but instead all that came out was anger. "Y-you…You dumbass! Do you have any idea what we've been through!? It's about time…" he paused, huffing as if he just ran all the way here, "It's about time you woke up! Don't ever do that again!" Hinata sat disordered and muddled for he still had no answers to any of his questions. Even though he was confused and sleepy, it was nice to see Yachi and Kageyama care so much about him. Hinata felt his eyelids start to close and forced them to stay open, there was no way that he would fall asleep now! He had to find out answers.
"Yachi, Kageyama! What-what happened to me? I'm…" Hinata paused as another wave of drowsiness hit him and he yawned, but continued, determined to stay awake and figure out what happened. "I'm so sleepy but please tell me what's going on…I-I'm so lost… How did I get here and where is everyone else? How long was I out for? And what happened to my leg?" Hinata started spit-firing questions, one after another knowing that sleep was trying to overcome him. He tried sitting up and changing positions thinking that if he did that then maybe he wouldn't be so tired, but still, even now, his body refused to listen to him. Yachi and Kageyama watched him struggle to sit up for a moment until finally Kageyama noticed and pushed the button on the side off the bed to raise the back just a little bit.
"Here" he said as the bed shifted a little under Hinata's weight and began rising little by little until he was at eye level with Yachi who was still sitting down next to the bed. After this, Kageyama walked over to the other side of the room and grabbed the only other remaining chair and brought it over, placing it next to Yachi's. This way Hinata didn't have to exert any more by looking all over and talking, now he could lay in one position and look at both of them at the same time.
Hinata's eyes started to water, everything right now was so confusing and he didn't understand why he hurt. He not only wanted to know why he was here but Hinata felt like he needed to know what happened for the sake of keeping him sane. Though he had only been awake a few minutes it felt like an eternity to the small first year as he felt the bed slowly rise to a more suitable position and glanced over at Kageyama who had his hand pressed up against a button. "Thanks, Kageyama," Hinata said, sniffling his nose and seemingly out of breath, Why is talking making me tired all of a sudden? I just woke up and I feel like all my bones and muscles are craving sleep. "Hey… So… Uh… Where am I? And what happened to me?"
Kageyama and Yachi traded glances with each other as if asking who should be the one to break the news to Hinata. Kageyama knew deep down that the young girl would just beat around the bush and probably end up relying on Kageyama anyway to divulge the gruesome demise of their fellow friends, so he took it upon himself to begin the questioning. "You sure you don't want to rest up some before we tell you?" Kageyama asked, he himself not wanting to relive the moment either but knew he would have to tell the boy soon anyway. Honestly, talking in general was just keeping his mind off of the horrors of what just occurred in the gymnasium not too long ago. How could I be so stupid?! Kageyama thought as his sad tired eyes glanced at Hinata starting to slump over in his bed, eyes starting to close.
"What no! No… I'm awake just tell me please," Hinata snapped out of his dazed slumber and righted himself again looking pleadingly over at his two friends before continuing, "Please…I need to know."
Kageyama and Yachi just glanced at one another before Yachi piped up, "Well… Um… What…" She began before taking a deep breath and finishing her sentence. Her eyes now locked with Hinata's, "What do you remember?"
Hinata knew just by the glances alone that something was up, something much bigger than he originally thought. When he first realized that he was in a hospital and not at home, Hinata thought that maybe he slipped playing volleyball and broke his leg in the process, but with how secretive and sad both Yachi and Kageyama looked, he no longer thought that was the case. "I…" he began trying to wrack his brain for any information, "I don't know… I don't remember anything."
"Ok… Let me rephrase it for you. What was the last volleyball match you remember then?" Kageyama spoke up thinking that maybe if they knew where exactly his memory stopped they could help him.
Hinata rattled his brain for a moment before slowly responding "Waku- No wait!" Hinata started to say before a light bulb lit up inside his mind and he quickly replied instead, "We faced Aoba Josei! I remember that and I… Did we win? I'm pretty sure we did, right?" Hinata said in a more confused tone than certain.
Kageyama was please to know that his memory wasn't as bad as he originally thought as he answered, "Yes we won, but Hinata do you remember anything that happened afterwards?"
Hinata closed his eyes for a moment and thought deep down but the deeper he thought the more unknowns arose. It was like a giant gaping black hole resided inside the young boy's mind. It was scary not knowing anything that happened. "No…I tried but I…There's nothing here! It's just…" Hinata breathed out and tried to form his sentences better. "Nothing. There's nothing here! Kageyama what happened to me?!" Hinata fretted as Kageyama took a deep sigh and prepared himself for what he wished he didn't have to repeat, causing Hinata to feel uneasy and tense.
"Hinata…" he began as the usually hyperactive first year looked his direction with fear and anticipation. "There was an accident..." Kageyama began as Hinata felt a cold shiver run down his spine.
"Wha- What do you mean Kageyama!?" Hinata stuttered eyes widening upon the notion of such a harrowing event.
"Our bus was on a mountain path, it started raining and…" Kageyama paused looking over at Yachi then back over at Hinata in the bed. "There was a semi and it hit our bus causing us to spin out of control and veer off the road down the mountain." Kageyama breathed indistinctively reaching up to grip his right arm with his left. "Yachi and I were lucky. I suffered a broken arm, and she got a pretty bad bruise on her thigh and various other small things but overall I'd call it lucky."
Hinata gasped at Kageyama trying to take all of what he just heard in. Bus crash? Lucky? Hinata thought as he still processed the information. Suddenly something inside Hinata started turning and he felt queasy and uneasy about that last part. "What do you mean your arm's broke? It looks fine to me?" He asked now truly scared at how long he'd been asleep.
"You've been in a coma for two months Hinata. My fracture is already mostly healed." Kageyama replied, no snarky comments, no "dumbass", no nothing… Just straight to the point as Hinata stared at him and Yachi in disbelief. It was weird to see Kageyama this way. He was very subtle, Yachi looked to be on the verge of tears. Two months… No… No that can't be right… How could I have gotten in a coma for so long?! Hinata refused to believe as he stared wide eyes at the other first year male in front of him.
"Two months… How…" Hinata fearfully spoke, eyes terrified at the sudden news that would most likely change his life forever. Why was I in a coma for two whole months?! Hinata replayed in his mind over and over, eyes large and confused as he tried to take in all the information at once.
"Hinata you need to listen to us," Yachi started more serious than ever, "We were in a bus crash. That was two months ago today. But- But that's not all of it" Yachi continued as if she just wanted to get this out of the way as fast as he could.
Hinata felt bile trying to rise up in his throat and tried desperately to swallow it down but in doing so started to breathe in rapidly, "How could there be more? I mean a bus crash! I-I don't know what to say I-I-I!" Hinata exclaimed, causing Yachi to stand up and slowly pat him on the back.
"Kageyama maybe we should stop..." She started to say but was cut off by the determined first year setter.
"No, he deserves to know about them… They were his friends too, Yachi", Kageyama stated as Hinata felt an intense pressure rise within him.
"I know that but-" Yachi began before getting cut off by Hinata's question.
"What do you mean were my friends?" Hinata whispered partly to himself yet loud enough for all those around him to hear, worry now sinking deep into his bones. "What happened Kageyama?!" Hinata shouted, breathing now hitching up in his chest even more as he felt his own heart pound up against his rib cage. This caused Yachi to quickly glare at Kageyama as if asking for sure if this was the best time to do this. "No… Don't tell me…" Hinata said as if reading the mood, "Did someone die…?" Hinata finally put two and two together; this must be why they didn't want to tell me. He thought as he looked up at his two friends with sadness in his eyes, "That's it isn't it? Someone died." Hinata repeated looking down at his cast on his leg now. "I was in a coma for two whole months… So much could have happen in two months." Hinata exclaimed causing Kageyama to sorrowfully glance his direction, the setter still not saying anything. It was one thing to wake up and not know where you are at, but to wake up and find out that you missed out on two whole months of your life, that was terrifying. Hinata's eyes grew almost twice their size, as he tried to take in the information presented to him before asking one more time, almost pleadingly, "Are the others okay?" Hinata hesitated looking from Kageyama to Yachi, both of them looking in any other direction but Hinata's. Finally, Kageyama exchanged a look of despair with Yachi, and Hinata knew that he'd found his answer. "Who" Hinata quietly voiced out, "Who died Kageyama? I don't remember any accident but you said 'we' so stop acting passive and tell me!" Hinata snapped causing Yachi to quickly become scared and sit down in her chair. "What…happened to them?"
Kageyama turned his face away from Hinata in an attempt for Hinata not to look directly at him and softly whispered "You're right Hinata… Not all of us made it out alive…" The first year setter started moving his arm over his face and turning to look at Hinata directly in the eyes. As soon as Kageyama turned around Hinata felt as if someone just punctured his heart with some sharp object. Kageyama's stare, one that on any other occasion could potentially scare the crap out of you, was much different. Masked behind his deep blue of his eyes, was a sadness that was rarely ever seen. Suddenly Hinata caught a glimpse of something shimmering. Was Kageyama crying? Upon further inspection, Hinata noticed that his eyes were slightly red and that he was indeed correct, Kageyama was in fact crying, or at least trying to hold back tears. Hinata visibly gasped, tears forming in his own eyes at the unbelievable side of Kageyama he was witnessing. Before long, Kageyama spoke again, taking Hinata out of his respitore. "7 of u… Didn't make it."
Hinata stared in absolute horror, eyes going from Kageyama to Yachi distraught. When he thought that someone died he literally meant someone, not a whole bunch of someone's. He couldn't even fathom the thought of losing one, but to be told that 7 of his teammates were dead, in the time that he was asleep was beyond his comprehension. "What…?" Hinata strained his voice trying to move one of his arms up to his mouth but failing. "What do you mean Kageyama?! Don't tell me… No… Oh God why?" Hinata spoke, voice cracking at odd intervals as Kageyama turned his face away from the boy in the hospital bed. Thus causing Hinata to look at Yachi with pleading eyes. "Yachi?" He questioned as the young girl wept softly in her chair and Hinata knew this was no joke. His eyes grew wider at the realization that this was no nightmare, this was real. "No… No… No… Oh God… Kageyama who di-" Hinata choked, still battling the fatigue that was his constant reminder as to how tired he really was. Hinata shook the weariness off and asked again with a more determined look in his eyes. "Who, Kageyama? Please, I need to know who died."
Yachi looked miserable as she blew her nose into a tissue and Kageyama locked eyes with Hinata once again. He wished he didn't have to tell Hinata the horrific details of what went down on the mountain but in a way he understood where the boy was coming from. If Kageyama was in his shoes, he'd want to know everything as well. "Well…" Kageyama began but stopped when he realized that he had no idea where to begin. "Well…" he gulped again trying to think of how he would go about wording the death of their beloved teammates.
As he told them about the events that happened that night he could see the poor boy physically pale and freeze. Yachi, not wanting to remember that night had told Kageyama that she's sorry but she couldn't do it and left the hospital room crying. At first Kageyama was mad at her for bailing, but he knew just by looking at her that she was already uncomfortable being there as it was, and he didn't want to further harm the girl by making her have to relive this too. He hated doing this; he never wanted to relive those events again so much so that he had placed the events that went down on the awful night into the recess of his mind. There was just no way that they're all gone… How could they all be dead?! Hinata started feeling like he might start hyperventilating any moment. After Kageyama finished talking about the 6 that died on the mountain, Hinata stopped him.
"Wait!... Y-You said that 7 died… But you only told me about 6, Kageyama…" Hinata paused looking down at his hands and counting with his fingers, "Daichi, Noya, Kinoshita, Narita, Kiyoko, and Takeda… That's only 6?" Kageyama was actually slightly amazed by how attuned Hinata was even though he'd seen the boy dancing on the line of sleep and awareness all night. Kageyama suddenly remembered back to earlier in the gymnasium. A lot of stuff went down today and he felt a sting of pain within himself, why did Tsukishima get so mad back there?! I was only making a suggestion… But then he had to bring up Ukai…Why did he have to bring up Ukai?! Kageyama angrily thought as he looked at Hinata and then said simply, "Ukai. He-" Kageyama stopped and wondered if Hinata really had to know the details but thought better of of it and reserved to saying, "He died a few days after… His injuries were too much." Hinata laid on his bed more confused than he had ever been in his entire life. How could all this happen in two short months?! He thought perking up his ears when a sudden click was heard on the door.
"Ah!" Nurse Akria said in shock, almost dropping her clipboard, "You're awake! Why didn't you tell me sooner Kageyama?" She asked walking briskly into the room and over to Hinata to check his heart rate and other miscellaneous vitals.
"Ah, sorry, there was a lot we needed to talk about and I kind of forgot…" Kageyama apologized as he stood up continued, "I'll be back tomorrow. Get some rest." Kageyama assumed that the nurse would need some time to care for the newly-awakened Hinata and made his way over toward the door of the room.
"But-" Hinata began but knew that Kageyama was right. He was extremely tired, and on multiple occasions felt his eyes start to droop. Now that the conversation was over and even though he still had tons of questions, Hinata slowly felt himself start to relax a little bit.
"Sleep. You need to get your strength back," Kageyama reiterated as he opened the door and lightly clicked it shut. It wasn't long until Hinata slipped back into unconsciousness.
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After Suga had cleaned up the small pool of blood, he exited the gymnasium and began the trek back home. The night had cleared up somewhat, as the snow had finally stopped piling up on the ground and the moon and the stars were clearly visible above, illuminating the ground in a light yellow glow. After exiting the parking lot, Suga started to turn down the road toward his home but stopped in place, letting the cold air blow across his face, numbing his nose. He was still so depressed and frustrated about the meeting and wanted to vent his anger and his feelings to somebody.
With this in mind, Suga instead turned around and traveled down a different road, going to the first person he could think of: Asahi. At this juncture, Suga still felt a strong bond of friendship with Asahi, despite the strains introduced with the ace's newfound depression. Furthermore, Suga wished to ask Asahi why he did not show up to the meeting, slightly angry at the fact that his friend did not appear despite the multiple instances Suga begged him to show up. However, at the same time, Suga took solace in the fact that Asahi did not attend, as the explosion of emotions and anger introduced by Tsukishima, Kageyama and to a lesser degree Suga himself would not have been good for Asahi's fragile emotional state.
As he traveled through the snow, he thought about what he would say to Asahi upon reaching his house, considering if he would charge in the building in an angry rant, which was what his heart wanted to do, or if he would be more calm and collected, which is what his brain told him. It was a difficult decision, and one he would need to make rather quickly, as Asahi actually lived rather close to the school, only about a five or ten-minute walk, even in the dense snow. It was also during this walk that Suga realized that after the events of the gymnasium and the short cleaning job he undertook, it was past 7:30 already, meaning that both of Asahi's parents were at work, since they both worked night shifts. Thankfully, Suga still had the key that the Azumane parents had lent to him weeks ago, so getting inside the building would not be an issue.
Upon arriving, all the lights inside the house were off, except for one window on the second floor that corresponded to Asahi's room. This was still not surprising to Suga, since Asahi never leaves his house anymore, so the only time his light is off is when he is asleep. Suga used the house key on the front door and entered into the foyer, taking off his shoes and his coat and yelling out, "Asahi! The meeting's over, i'm just going to hang out here for a bit!"
No response.
Despite knowing that his yell easily reached the rooms upstairs, Suga was met with nothing but silence. After putting everything down, he took a few more steps into the house and turned on a few of the downstairs lights to ensure he did not trip over anything, Again he called out, this time after reaching the base of the stairs, "Asahi, are you awake? I need to talk to you about something!"
No response.
Suga scoffed and assumed that Asahi was ignoring his calls because he came over unannounced, or that Asahi was simply trying to avoid Suga because of the skipped the meeting. Somewhat put off, Suga trudged up the stairway, his wet socks leaving slight damp marks into the carpet-covered stairs. As he reached the landing, nothing seemed out of place, all was as it normally was, aside from the eerie silence. This included the fact that there was no music playing from Asahi's room, something he had gotten rather interested in to fill the space while he read the books that Suga would bring him. By this point, Suga was getting more concerned, as it was not like the Karasuno ace to flat-out ignore him like this. "Asahi...? Is everything alright?" Suga said loudly, the concern hardly masked at all as his voice started to waver.
No response.
Suga was now fully concerned and rushed up the last few stairs and down two doors toward Asahi's room. "Asahi!" Suga exclaimed, scared as to why he was given nothing but silence as a reply for so long. As he reached the door, he heard the floorboards on the other side of Asahi's door creak, indicating that someone was moving inside the room.
Then the door swung open.
Asahi stumbled out of the room and fell to his knees, running partially headfirst into the wall opposite of his room before settling on the floor facing away from Suga, leaving a small indent in the wall. This startled Suga nearly out of his skin and he ran over to Asahi to discover the reason why he was not answering, thinking that maybe he was having some sort of weird seizure or something else. "Asahi! What's wrong?! Answe-" Suga started to frantically say as he dived down to the ground and turned Asahi over toward him. He stopped talking and gasped upon seeing Asahi's face, which featured something much worse than the small cut received from hitting the wall. The senior was shaking and twitching violently and his mouth was open, revealing small white bubbles of foam trailing out the side of it down his chin and into his beard. "Fucking hell! Asahi what happened?! Oh my god" Suga rambled, trying to hold the boy still and turn him to the side, in case Asahi was choking on something, "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, uhh uhh… Police!"
Suga got up and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and immediately dialed the authorities. Someone picked up rather quickly and the senior explained the situation and gave them the address, constantly watching Asahi, whose eyes were wide open and staring up at Suga. When they dispatched police and an ambulance, they asked what had happened, which Suga explained that he had no idea, until he looked inside Asahi's organized room. On the nightstand beside Asahi's bed were two orange prescription bottles, both tipped over, open and completely empty. "Restoril!" Suga explained to the operator, "The bottles say Restoril, I don't know what that is but they're both empty! Oh god, what do I do?!"
The operator instructed that Suga remain calm and keep an eye on his friend until the authorities arrive and they will take it from there. Suga stayed on the line with the operator while he waited, leaning by Asahi's side, "Please… Don't do this to me, Asahi… Please don't die…."
For two hours, Suga sat in the waiting room with his mother and his siblings as well as Ennoshita, who was released quickly upon being diagnosed and treated for a minor nose fracture. The Azumane family were contacted quickly and also joined Suga as soon as possible at the hospital, thanking him for being there to help their son. Asahi was transported safely to the hospital and was alive upon arrival but was considered an emergency case and taken back to get treated right away. He needed to have a gastric suction procedure, also known as a stomach pump, in order to eliminate all of the chemicals that he had ingested, which the paramedics determined to be anywhere between 45 and 60 sleeping pills.
Soon after, one of the doctors treating Asahi came back to see the Azumane family to deliver the news on their son. He explained that despite taking the amount of pills that he did, the fact that Suga reached Asahi not long after he had actually ingested the pills and that Asahi was still conscious when he was found gave the boy a high probability of recovering. The doctor went on to say that Asahi had fallen asleep while having his stomach pumped and they were afraid that he would have entered a coma, one that could have become permanent. Thankfully, Asahi had finally recovered and was awake once more in his hospital bed, though he will need to stay there for a few days for monitoring reasons.
Everybody was relieved at the announcement of this news, the Azumane's crying together and hugging each other while Suga and Ennoshita both let out the longest sigh of relief they've ever had. With Asahi awake, the parents were allowed to see him in his bed, to which they invited Suga and Ennoshita to come along as well to visit him. They followed the doctor up two stories to Asahi's room, where the boy was sitting quietly back against his reclined bed, knowing that he would have to explain to at least his parents why he attempted to kill himself.
Upon entering, Ryoko Azumane flung herself over Asahi, hugging him very tightly and sobbing into his shoulder. His father, although angry, was more relieved at the fact that his son was alive and greeted him with tears as well. Asahi was surprised by the fact that Suga and Ennoshita entered the room after his parents, hardly remembering that Suga was even there to save him, the last thing he remembered was trying to go to sleep after taking all the pills in hopes that he would not die while awake. Suga walked over to the side of Asahi's bed and asked one simple question, "Why?"
Asahi answered this question to the best of his ability, knowing that he owed Suga at least that much after everything he had done, "I was scared... Of being... Alone... Of losing anyone again… Of even being friends with anyone because they will die too." As he explained, Asahi started to cry, an emotion Suga had not seen from him since before the accident, "I was scared of my nightmares and of my dreams, of what I would think about just from looking out my window. I would see a plane and think about it burning out of the sky; I would see a storm and think about getting struck by lethal lightning; I would see a car and think about the crash… I was scared of everyone and everything…" Asahi broke down into complete tears and hugged his mother back tightly as he finished his explanation, his voice slightly muffled by his mom's clothing, "I didn't want to be scared anymore!"
END
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BONUS:
"You have to put that foot first, dumbass!" Kageyama grumpily yelled as Hinata gripped the walking bars tightly, trying not to fall. The room was mainly vacant aside from Kageyama, Hinata, Hinata's Physical Therapist, Dr. Suzuki and two others on the other side of the room. Dr. Suzuki had gotten to know Hinata and Kageyama quite well over the last couple weeks. It's like they were best friends and mortal enemies at the same time as Hinata angrily shouted back at Kageyama calling him all sorts of names as he gripped the bars for dear life, and Dr. Suzuki tried to calm his nerves.
When Hinata first woke up he asked the doctor when he could start walking. He'd been asleep for two whole months and he wanted to start living life again. Dr. Hoi, one of the many doctors at the hospital, suggested that he could start physical therapy within the next few days. Thus making Hinata incredibly excited as he told the doctor he was ready any day, and that he wanted to start moving again. All this energy had built up inside the young first year and sitting on a bed wasn't helping much. In fact, it wasn't helping at all. Kageyama had come to visit Hinata everyday like he promised and even though there were times Hinata wanted to punch Kageyama so hard in the face, he was glad that at least he kept his promise. The hospital could get really lonely sometimes, and it was nice to have friends and family around. The day after waking up, Yachi returned, this time with Ennoshita and Suga. The chat was nice as Suga tried to comfort the first year. Asahi had still not visited him, nor Yamaguchi or Tsukishima, though the latter Hinata was not surprised by. Yesterday he was graced by Tanaka, which was more than enough to make Hinata's goofy grin return. It was nice, Tanaka had changed, but it was still nice of him to visit. Hinata felt guilt as he looked at what Tanaka had become, the sadness seeped off his body and through his clothes like a permanent aura of depression, yet he knew the real Tanaka. He knew that someday the Tanaka he knew would return. When Tanaka talked, he at least tried to act tough and strong which eased Hinata at least a little bit.
The doctors kept tabs on him for the last week and a half since being up and had even taken his cast off in the process and did a few X-rays. The bone has mostly healed and the doctors told him that they wanted Hinata to try stretching it out in bed and massaging when he can. Once he did that then it would become easier to start his physical therapy.
Hinata's family had stayed every day for a few hours at a time helping the boy out. Sometimes his mother or father would stretch out the muscles while Natsu crawled up on the bed next to her big brother and read him a story. Hinata smiled at this and listened as his younger sister would happily read him one of her many stories. It felt calm and as days went by, more normal until finally Hinata started his new practice for leg strengthening. Finally I can start walking again!
"I'm trying to Stingy-yama! My leg isn't listening to me though!" Hinata's voice rose frustrated at Kageyama, but in a way, he was happy for this, happy that Kageyama was here helping him out. After what he told Hinata about his friends, Hinata thought for sure that his heart stopped beating and that he was going into some form of heart attack right then and there. It was just so hard for him to believe that they were all dead. Knowing that he would no longer be able to play volleyball with them, hang out with them, or watch movies together was too much to take in and the reality of the situation was difficult to accept. The team was finished. Kageyama told him earlier about the fight that happened between the team members and the amount of anger and resent the team felt, most splitting their separate ways. However, now Hinata had to focus on getting better and trying to build up his strength so that he could get stronger.
"There, that's it just step down now," Kageyama tried saying this time using the most calming voice he could muster.
Hinata glared at him, the look itself practically screaming 'stop treating me like a child' but instead of opening his mouth to say some nasty remark towards the setter, he decided to keep it closed and focus his attention back at his leg. Suddenly, something inside Hinata seemed to give out as he gripped the bar tighter, knuckles turning white as he slightly shivered, teeth clenching.
Kageyama noticing this right away moved closer to ask the boy what was wrong. Hinata tried to tell him that his leg buckled in on him, but as soon as he opened his mouth he felt himself start to fall. Kageyama's eyes grew wide as he tried to grab the first year before fulling falling on the floor but with the position of the bar in between them, he was only able to half catch him. This position was uncomfortable as the stern boy gently rotated Hinata around and leaned him up against himself. "Hey Hinata! Are you okay?" He frantically asked as the physical therapist, cautiously asked him if he was okay.
"Oww... " Hinata voiced out as he looked up at Kageyama and then over at the physical therapist. "I lost my balance" Hinata said as he slowly tried to stretch out his tight muscles in his leg. The therapist inspected Hinata's leg more and told him that he was to be more careful, that could have damaged their process but luckily for him, it wasn't anything bad. After about ten more minutes of the guided walking, the training was done for today and Hinata could return home for now.
"You Dumbass! Stop pushing yourself so hard or you will never heal!" Kageyama roared, causing Hinata to tear up a bit.
"But Kageyama… If I don't get better soon, I won't be able to play volleyball anymore. I won't be able to have fun like we used to. I need to be able to walk again! I need to push myself!" Hinata spat as he moved to stand up and try again, causing Kageyama to get irritated that Hinata wasn't listening to him.
"Oh no you don't" Kageyama said as he grabbed Hinata's arm and slung it around his own shoulders in order to help the boy back to his room. The setter refused to set him back down despite any protests from the orange-haired teen proclaiming he could move by himself until he was back in his wheelchair over by the door to the room. "No, you are going to go back to bed to rest up!" Kageyama shouted finally reaching the chair and lightly setting Hinata in it. The short boy pouted in embarrassment at what just went down.
"What's wrong with you, Kageyama?! I just wanted to get better so I can leave here quickly, but you-" Hinata began as Kageyama gripped his hands together standing in front of the boy.
"AND THEN WHAT?! What if you try this and you end up pulling a muscle in your leg? Or maybe you damage it so much so that you never fully recover! The therapist said to take it slow Hinata. So slow is how you are going to take it." Kageyama snapped causing Hinata to look at him with a stunned expression that turned into a smile.
"I get it, I get it. I'll take it slow. But when I return you better toss me a ball!" Hinata agreed as he thought about just how much Kageyama actually did care for him.
"Oh course I will!" He snickered, grabbing the back of the wheelchair now rolling Hinata back down the hall to his room. For the first time since waking up, Hinata felt at ease, as if everything just might work out in the end and smiled.
"Good. I'm glad" Hinata concluded as they finally reached the door to his room and walked inside. It was as if his life's story finally ended on one chapter and was beginning a new one. He hoped this new chapter would end a lot better than the last, but life is full of surprises and no one can predict their own future. All there was to do now was life life to the fullest and focus on recovering. It was that simple.
Final End
Notes: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE SONGS
I actually started writing this story 2 years ago when my best friend, Tara, died in a car crash. I know that this probably sounds a little morbid but since I can't actually go out and use my anger and kill the person who took her life in the real world without getting in trouble, I decided that I was going to make a douche semi driver kill and hurt the members of Karasuno. I purposely made him die because of my anger in real life. I have always like darker themes, and blood and torture on hot men so why not write a story about this. I love Haikyuu and I thought to myself, let's do it and eventually wrote a story. This story. I hope you all liked it very much, it was fun to write!
While writing this story for the past two years I have accumulated a few different songs that I believe match certain characters pretty well. I will post the youtube links below, I do not own anything. The songs belong to those that sang them, same with the pictures on my tumblr rollingthunderakadancinginthemeadowoffireanddeath (I believe it's shortened to "rollingthundera". In some of the songs that I post a pairing is needed so just imagine that person singing to someone. Also… If you do not like the song, then don't listen to it. Remember these are just my opinions and I'm not always right just so you know. Sometimes songs don't quite fit but are close enough so I put them on here. If you think that maybe the song is for the wrong person then message me because sometimes they are hard to pick one specific character. If you like the songs and want to talk to me more about them and why I chose them feel free to look me up or email me/private message. I will be happy to help you understand! I put the
1. Suga talking to Daichi *Forgiven* =
watch?v=a9QSoxoMpfo
My notes: I believe this one is self explanatory. Suga was too late to save Daichi thus causing Suga to reap with tears trying to wake the silent captain. The song talks about either lovers/ mother and father protecting a child but I viewed this more as Suga and Daichi have a very close bond and have been friends forever so when they talk about love you could take it as pairing love or best friend I love you. Anyway Daichi, in Suga's eyes, gave up the fight and left Suga to deal with having to live without Daichi. Suga is trying to forgive Daichi for leaving him to lead but it's slowly eating him alive because no one listens to him and he was not a born leader. Once Suga found Daichi he had a feeling that it was too late but refused to give up. Since Suga is the oldest third year he felt it was Daichi's job to run the team but It was Suga's job to protect the team. (Mom and Dad role kind of) In the end everything turned out to be the worst possible senerio and Suga didn't know how to handle it on his own (until Ennoshita later helps him).
2. Suga talking to Daich *Say something I'm giving up on you*= watch?v=BmErRm-vApI
Very self explanatory. Suga finds Daichi unconscious and tries desperately to wake him, but Daichi never responds thus never says anything back. This causes Suga to slowly lose hope in his friend (or lover) so he starts to shake him away screaming that he better wake up and come home now! Whole all this is happening Suga feels so small and broken next to Yachi, Ukai, and Kinoshita. Since Suga is not a doctor the injury stumped him and he knew nothing at all in how to save his best friend.
3. Asahi to Noya *One last breath*= watch?v=5vNJwR2vVOk
Ok so this one is more in general for Asahi. Asahi in my story has witnessed not only death but has been told that multiple deaths occurred mostly being his best friends. Asahi is already glass hearted and weak willed to begin with so he cries out internally for help but then pushes people away because he doesn't want to burden anyone. Asahi is walking down the road to nowhere and is lost, needing help to find his way again. He attempts suicided/ thinks about it, I'm on a ledge/maybe 6 feet ain't so far down, are words of someone who is debating life. He has made mistakes in his life so he cries for God to save him every night because he doesn't want to die but he's struggling. He believes that there's something left for him but he's crying for find him before it's too late. Suga then finds him and saves him.
4. Ennoshita (or honestly all the survivors?) = watch?v=J0C8emw8jrA
Ennoshita reminisces on a time when everything was normal but now he looks ahead and has practically saved his entire team that's left from a bus crash. He is strong willed and refuses to die or give in even though he fears for his life. This could be the end but he will still try his hardest until he can't anymore. The world tries to take everything away but Ennoshita doesn't go down without a fight.
Kinoshita (My favotire one) = watch?v=J0C8emw8jrA Ok this is my favorite one to talk about because it's perfect for Kinoshita. So during my story Kinoshita has internal bleeding that is slowly killing him every second. He tried to hide the pain from Ukai and the others, as he slowly worsens and eventually lays down on the ground dying. He prays that the bleeding and coughing will stop but he also wonders deep down if he's too far gone. Will he be able to be saved? Is it too late for him? During the course of the chapters he was alive for he prays over and over again in his mid for the pain to stop, for the blood to cease. Because it didn't stop and only got worse, this caused Kinoshita to start placing his hand over his mouth to keep the blood in a tourniquet. (In case you didn't know a tourniquet is when somebody, mainly doctors, use a belt or some sort restriction to halt and stop the blood from flowing to one area of the body. If you have ever seen a TV show where someone needs to have their arm or leg chopped off they would use this tourniquet to wrap above the infected area and cut off that body part then tie the rest around. In short a tourniquet stops blood flow from going somewhere else). Since Kinoshita is blocking the blood from leaving his mouth he is acting like a human tourniquet. Next it talks about if people will remember him. Well nobody ever remembers him in the show so this fits lol. Will his friends be on the other side of death or forget that he existed. Nartia will be there at least. Once Ukai yells at him that he could die for not telling him sooner it only then dawns on Kinoshita that he could die and is now starting to think that this is the end. The only line that doesn't work is the line "I want to die", just believe that it was "I don't want to die". Or he hurts so much he wants to die I guess? Finally the last part talks about a suicide and a few of you might be thinking that Kinoshita didn't kill himself. But in a weird way he technically did. Because Kinoshita Chose to not tell anyone about his injury and Kinoshita kept it to himself, he unintentionally killed himself with his own hand while holding in all that blood, slowly dying out on the cold ground. (Very dark).
Daichi's Mom *Into the west* = watch?v=UsDji3Z7t3s
Daichi's mom sings to her son. She sees that he is hurting and wearing so she moves closer for him to lay his head on her lap in a sense. Night has fallen and he is dying signifying he has come to journeys end. Sleep peaceful and think about loved ones and family. While his friends call him and try to wake him up from limbo death. The mother wonders why her son looks sad and why he is weeping and goes over him. Open your eyes to the new world Daichi, all his fears and hurting will disappear safe in his mother's arms. Daichi sees the beauty of this heaven and doesn't wish to leave because he hasn't seen his mother in years. Eventually Suga on the other side along with everyone else is trying desperately to wake him and their hopes are fading. Eventually Suga says "don't leave me/ don't say this is the end for you" but Daichi is already gone as he walks with his mother to their new home: Heaven.
Ukai… oh boy here we go… I have a lot of good songs for Ukai!
Ukai *Toy soldier* = watch?v=1qbuZhVUj_g
The team that was once whole has now crumbled and fallen apart. The students become broken in more ways than one and even torn apart in a few cases, but the battle to survive still rages on inside all their hearts. Ukai then is Eminem rapping and it is pretty self-explanatory. Ukai was supposed to be the one that was never supposed to blow his composure, he was the oldest one left alive and he was supposed to carry these kids to safety (a whole world of problems on his shoulders). He is not supposed to break down, he has to be the one that the kids look up to for guidance. He'd never wanted nor wished for this to happen and if she could have had them stay back and not go through this he would have. He has to be the leader, his students look up to follow him, but slowly throughout the night things went terribly wrong and people started dying (he heard someone say change Hailie to Daichi or someone) name and felt the guilt sink in once more. He's exhausted and depressed and soon begins to take it upon himself to blame himself for all of this. He feels like he caused their deaths. It was never his object for these students to get killed because why would he want to kill someone he help build up in playing volleyball. His intentions were good, he didn't do anything wrong yet still those that died haunted him. Kinoshita helped him but died in the end so when his ghost comes back and says "I helped you all night and when I needed you most you turned your back on me and walked away" causes Ukai acknowledge that the kid did save him and that he did leave him to die. (Once the song gets to about 2 min. you can stop if you want)
Ukai *Perfect Insanity* = watch?v=2VO96cIxMx0
The song revolves around the hell that is Ukai's mind. He wants to escape up but can't because he is trapped like an animal, causing him to lose his mind. Very self explanatory.
Ukai *Battle Cry* = watch?v=MSpJOeS9rxc
He has been dealing with depression for so long and he has started to get the feeling that no matter what, no one can save him. The fear that has been surrounding him has evolved from calling out his name in his head to full on apparitions trying to get him to kill himself. The poison being his dread leaking through his veins. Nobody can save him now and no matter how many times he sce4ams his battle cry he will not be saved.
Ukai talking to Takeda (Ukai x Takeda or could also work for Daisuga but I think Ukai fits better) *Come Wake me up* = watch?v=TLa1LU9NUzI
Ukai's depression: Ukai drinks to forget Takeda, he thinks about him all the time. The image of his dead body won't leave him alone, and he reminisces on the thought of talking to him. The memory of Takeda haunts him; he just wants to see him. It drives him mad.
Ukai *Whisper* = watch?v=7I5CWyzTBGU
Honestly one of the most perfect songs for him, along with Toy Soldiers. Ukai is praying that someone will save him from the darkness and dread. Nobody is there and he is going deeper and deeper into madness. He thinks that by willing pain away and saying that it doesn't bother him that it will go away but it doesn't and it gets worse. The nightmares, insanity, madness, and guilt is too much for him to bear but every time he turns a corner or tries to sleep the dead members of the team pester him and keep him awake by screaming his name. He is terrified and tormented by the darkness, yet no one hears him, no ones can save him which later results in his death.
All members
Maybe Suga, Ennoshita, Tanaka thing going on here? Idk I see this one as all members wanting to work together to overcome this trauma. Like picture every verse as a new set of pairins, Tsukkiyama, Suga trying to be the mother here. watch?v=BW9zMSwKIdU
watch?v=CalmeXqMYNg
watch?v=UWr4yjxNKzA
watch?v=E0qIG-h4rIE
watch?v=eX3ZSlKdsrM
watch?v=IiHhTdg8qrc
watch?v=AIslcAtrWvs
Thanks for reading! I hope that I get lots of fun reviews! The longer the better lol!
