A/N: Man, the way Peter is (or rather isn't) handling things on the show is making it more difficult to write this version of him …!
Having said that, I am going to keep on trying so here's chapter 12.

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12. Waiting

Once everyone was tickled out, Peter suggested ordering dinner for the three of them. Olivia rolled her eyes behind Noah who was jumping for joy and Peter grinned at her. He didn't play fair and he wasn't going to apologize for it. Noah was the center of attention again and Olivia wondered if he didn't think it was strange that she and Peter had been 'playing' the way they had when he came in. But to Noah, it seemed like it was all totally normal.

Meanwhile, Peter was making an effort not to stare at the Lieutenant too much while he got things ready for dinner, pouring everyone a drink and setting three plates and forks on the coffee table. He was having a hard time forgetting what it had felt like to hold her and to kiss her. He didn't want to forget, but he knew that he had to put it out of his mind for now or he'd make a fool of himself. With Noah wide awake, nothing else was going to happen tonight. And that would have been fine with him, if he hadn't seen something in Olivia's eyes that made him a little nervous. He worried that she might still pull away. When the time came for Olivia and Noah to leave, he still wasn't sure where he stood with her. And tomorrow, they'd be back to work.

Olivia had dreaded saying goodnight, because they still hadn't talked about things. If they left things like this, Peter would think they were an item now and she was still very undecided about it. She could tell that her insecurity was rubbing off on him and that made her sad. She didn't want to hurt him. He really was a good guy and they did have fun together. And he'd responded very well when she had told him a little bit about her own history.

Fortunately, Noah made their goodnights a little less awkward. He wanted to hug Peter and Peter crouched down so the boy could wrap his arms around his neck. He then wrapped his arms around Noah and stood up, easily lifting him up with him. Noah giggled and then reached for Olivia, to include her in a spontaneous group hug. She knew Peter was eager to hold her again and she had to admit she felt right at home in his and Noah's arms. Noah squealed when Peter tightened the group hug a little, and they were all still laughing when the two Bensons finally left the apartment.

It was a Monday morning like any other. There was a mountain of paperwork from the weekend waiting for Olivia, and Peter had to be in early for a deposition. There were several open cases the team was working on and none of them required Peter's presence at the precinct for now.

Olivia had hoped that she would relax a little if they didn't run into each other on the job right away, but the opposite was happening. The longer it took, the more anxious she became about seeing him again.

Part of her couldn't forget what it had felt like to kiss him and be held by him and wanted more of it. Another part of her, the part that she had always allowed to guide her, wanted to run the other way fast to get away from all the risks that would be involved in letting Peter get closer. She wasn't ready to get hurt once again and to lose another friend. She and David had been incredibly like-minded people, but in the end, he'd chosen a job over her and they weren't in touch now. She and Brian were barely talking anymore despite the fact that she had shared a major part of her life with him, and Ed had disappeared from her life completely. Other lovers from a more distant past, and even her former partners, all had their own lives now that didn't include her in any way anymore. The mere thought of Peter ending up in that category of people one day, made her incredibly sad.

In turn, that sadness made her realize that she really cared about him, and that made it even more confusing. Because no matter how much she tried to convince herself that they'd never fit, that he was too young or she was too old, the memory of being in his arms kept intruding on her thoughts.

By noon, Olivia pushed her laptop away from her with a heavy sigh, just as Fin walked into her office to brief her on one of their cases.

"Wow, that doesn't sound good. One PP on your case again?" her Sergeant asked her with a concerned look on his face.

She contemplated lying to Fin for a second but decided against it.

"No. Just a lot on my mind."

"I see. D'ya have a good weekend? Fun times with Noah?"

"I did," she confirmed. "He helped me with groceries and laundry on Saturday and we went for pizza and a movie on Sunday."

"That's cool. I'm looking forward to my grandson being that age that I can do stuff like that with him. So what's buggin' you then?"

Olivia pushed her glasses up into her hair and leaned back in her chair. Fin walked up to her and perched himself on her desk.

"Lemme guess. Guy trouble?"

Olivia looked up at him, a little startled.

"What makes you think that?"

Fin shrugged.

"Just a hunch. I kinda know you, Liv. I know something's up."

"You've been watching me?" Olivia huffed, suddenly feeling a little exposed under Fin's scrutiny.

"Not in a creepy way but I see things, ya know. I kinda saw that thing with Tucker coming a mile away, if you know what I mean."

"You never said anything!"

"Why should I? It's none of my business. Just like this is none of my business. But if you ever wanna talk, I'm here."

"Thanks Fin."

Olivia put a hand on Fin's knee and he grabbed it and squeezed it before letting you.

"You just think of what's best for you and for your kid, Liv. Us guys can take care of ourselves."

She nodded.

Fin was right, of course. Peter could take care of himself. They just needed to talk. Maybe he was fully aware of the age difference. Maybe he'd even thought about it before approaching her. She shouldn't project her own fears on him without giving him the opportunity to put in his two cents. But maybe, he was just trying to escape his pain over losing his sister. Bottom line was that she was afraid of getting hurt. And the easiest way to avoid heartache, was not to place her heart in the line of fire.

"Well, anyway," Fin continued, "we talked to the father of the vic and me and Rollins both agree that he doesn't fit the profile. The mom though, that's another story."

Olivia raised an eyebrow.

"The mother? How so?"

Fin continued to brief her on what they'd gotten from the parents of their latest abuse victim, suggesting that in this case, the mother might be the abusive one in the home. It's a rare thing, but it happens, unfortunately. After finishing the briefing, Fin suggested going to the break room for some lunch but Olivia declined.

"Alright. But don't sit here worrying all by yourself, okay? Call him."

And with those words, Fin left her alone to think. Call him? Just like that? Maybe she should, to set up an appointment. They needed to talk and maybe they should do that in public. Not on his couch, or she might end up kissing him senseless again. That thought alone made her body respond in several places and she shook her head at herself. Maybe she wasn't ready to call him yet. She had to get over those feelings first. But how?

Peter was back home after a long day and was heating up last night's Chinese leftovers while sipping a beer. He hadn't heard from Olivia all day and he felt a little disappointed. On the other hand, he should be glad that they hadn't caught any new cases that required his input. He'd received written reports from the weekend team and had been busy with the cases that had already been passed on to him.

He wondered how Olivia was doing after last night. She'd texted him, letting him know she and Noah had gotten home safely. He would have driven them home but she had insisted on taking a cab. He'd responded very unoriginally, just telling her goodnight. He had contemplated adding an X but had decided against it. He'd added a P. instead, short for Peter. He had contemplated reaching out to her today but had decided that he should give her some space. He'd gotten his way yesterday a lot by using Noah and he didn't want Olivia to start thinking that was the only way he'd want to relate to her. He had a great deal of respect for her and he needed to show her that now by giving her some time to process.

She must have been hurt before and from what she'd told him about her childhood, her mother didn't pass along a lot of confidence to her. He'd made his intentions clear and now he should leave it up to her.

He knew it was the right thing to do, but that didn't make it easy. Now that he'd kissed her, her was even more sure that he wanted more from Olivia. In a way, he saw himself in her, however weird that might sound. She was strong and determined, out for blood when she was faced with injustice; and at the same time, she was damaged. Insecure. And somehow terrified to let someone else get close to her. I've got issues, she'd told him. And she was afraid of taking a chance and then losing it all again.

He wished he could promise her she would never lose him, but it was an unrealistic promise. Things happen, there are no real guarantees in life. All they could ever really be certain of was that one day they would all die. What mattered was how they spent their time before then and he wanted to spend more time with her. To lower his own defenses for her, so she would feel safe to do the same for him.

She didn't call or text him that evening and he didn't hear from her the next day either. By the time Wednesday came around, he was beginning to think she had made up her mind and didn't want to give it a go with him. He wasn't sure how he would handle it if that was really the case.

And then, at the end of his work day, his phone rang. A video call from Olivia?

He answered quickly and was pleasantly surprised to see Noah's face on the screen.

"Peter! Hi, it's Noah!" the young boy said loudly.

"Noah! I see that!" Peter said enthusiastically while quickly closing the door of his office. "How are you doing, buddy?"

"Great! Mom is letting me make pancakes all by myself!"

"That sounds cool. So she's home with you already?"

"Yeah. She picked me up from school. She had her gun and badge on like a real cop."

Peter chuckled and sat down at his desk. Noah really was something.

"Well, your mom is a real cop, Noah."

"I know that," the boy huffed. "But now my friends saw it too. My teacher wants mom to come in and tell us about her job soon."

It was obvious that Noah was very proud of his mother and Peter felt very happy for her.

"That's cool buddy. Is that what you wanted to tell me?"

He wondered if this was just a social call or if there was another reason Noah was calling him.

"Yeah. But I also want you to come over."

Peter raised his eyebrows, and he heard Olivia's voice in the background, probably asking Noah to explain what he meant.

"Oh yeah," Noah said to her before addressing him again.

"I asked mom if I could ask you over because I want you to taste my pancakes. Do you like blueberries or vanilla?"

Peter took a deep breath, feeling a sense of relief and happiness spread in his chest. He could be with her tonight if he wanted to. And once again, he had Noah to thank for it.

"I love both, actually," he told Noah.

"Cool! You can taste both, right mom? Can you come, Peter?"

"Absolutely. I wouldn't want to miss it for the world."

Noah blinked a few times and Peter guessed he didn't understand the expression.

"Ask your mom what that means," he said with a grin and he saw Noah look up at his mother, who wasn't visible on the screen unfortunately.

"He wants to come over very much," Olivia translated softly, and Noah's toothy grin was a reward in itself.

"Alright!"

Peter heard Olivia tell him off screen that the pancakes should be ready by six thirty and he promised he'd be there. Pancakes for dinner was new to him but he didn't care right now. He was invited over at the Bensons and he was going. He knew now that it had been the right decision to wait until Olivia was ready to see him again. Tonight was going to be a special night, he was sure of it.

To be continued...