A/N Okay – The 'date' won't be in this chapter or the next, but it's written. I have the next 2-3 chapters written.
Thanks for the favorites + reviews.
XxXxX
It was Friday night, and Patrick wanted to get drunk. He was feeling a bit down. It was weird; when he was with Jackson, he hadn't even thought about Dave that much. But now, Jackson was traveling God knows where and Dave…well, Dave was with Kurt. To be honest, Patrick knew that was for the best. The age difference was one thing, but they were at different points in their lives.
Dave had just come out and Patrick probably came out around the time Dave was in kindergarten. There was just something special about Dave. Patrick couldn't put his finger on it. Something in Dave triggered a feeling in Patrick that went beyond just lust or even love, maybe. He cared for Dave and truly wanted him to be happy.
Patrick feels silly because, what did he think would happen? Dave would fall madly in love? Then they'd what? Live together? Dave was about to go off to college and then who knows where, and Patrick traveled for a living. However, for the right guy, Patrick knew he would switch to a stable position within the government in a second and 'settle down.'
He kind of figured he'd settle down with Jackson some day if he ever thought Jackson felt the same way. Jackson seemed to love his job and Patrick couldn't ask him to give that up. He thought maybe it was time for a change. He was, after all, turning thirty-five this year. Even though their age difference was only five years, Patrick felt as though the age gap between he and Jackson was nearly as great he and Dave in the metaphorical sense. Now and then it felt like the generational gap was more than the actual five years.
Patrick sometimes felt that maybe he was just lonely. All he really had was Xander and his job, and sometimes Jackson. Jackson had been busy with his job, more so this year than last year, and Patrick figured it would probably only get worse. Ever since his parents moved to Florida last winter, Patrick had spent more time with Dave than any other person. The ironic thing was that Patrick probably pushed Dave to be more confident in who he was, and that's undoubtedly what set the events in motion for Dave to find Kurt.
He had no regrets though. Dave was a better person because of it, and if Kurt made Dave happy, then that made Patrick happy.
Being happy was one thing, but being lonely was another.
Walking in to Scandals, he walked over to the bar and sat at the only empty stool. Patrick ordered a shot of whiskey and watched the game on the television. He could have done this at home, but he wanted some human contact, and if he sought more than that, well, that was available too.
He was wearing a long sleeve tee-shirt and jeans. He chose this outfit specifically because it showed off his arms and butt. He'd hoped to maybe find a cute guy and make out a little, nothing big. He wasn't that guy anymore, the guy that would hook up in a second, not since he met Jackson. He was older, more mature. Well, as mature as a guy with a stupid crush on a high school hockey player could be. God he missed Jackson.
He loved Jackson, but Jackson wasn't here. Dave – Dave was here. Dave was with Kurt, and Jackson still wasn't here. Patrick wished circumstances were different. He figured that his feelings toward Dave were more about Dave's proximity rather than Dave himself. If Jackson was here, here to stay, Patrick would hold on and never let go.
Patrick took his fifth shot in under a half an hour when the guy sitting at the bar next to him spoke.
"Woof."
Patrick rolled his eyes. Even though the guy didn't see him, he couldn't help himself. "Woof' was the tired mating call of the 'bear scene.' Patrick was more muscular and built than Dave, and older, so he'd be considered more of a Bear, rather than Bear Cub. The constant scruff also contributed to the term, but there were a lot more fat bears at Scandals than burly or especially muscular ones.
Patrick turned to the guy. However, that many shots in such a short time, Patrick felt a little more than a buzz – on his way to drunk. The guy next to him was definitely overweight, and older, maybe mid-fifties. He wasn't even cute; it's not that Patrick was shallow or conceited, but why was it always the old trolls that hit on him?
"Not interested," he decided right then that he was done.
He stood up, a bit unsteady, started to walk past the guy, but the guy grabbed his arm.
"Hey – you don't even know me," said the guy
Patrick jerked his arm away and was about to address the comment - and the grab - when another, taller guy stepped between them, facing the old troll.
Patrick couldn't see the guy's face, but he was dark haired and broad-shouldered.
"The gentleman said he wasn't interested, so I suggest you back off. " The man's voice was steady and baritone. Patrick could feel his face flush with alcohol. He should have eaten if he was going to let himself drink this much. In his near-drunken state, Patrick thought the guy might be Dave, but somehow a little older-sounding, and more mature somehow. It couldn't be Dave; this guy was dressed way too nice, dressed kind of like…
Leaning against the bar stool, Patrick saw the man turn around and could clearly see him now.
Jackson.
It was Jackson.
Patrick smiled widely. Here he was; standing there like a knight in shining armor.
Here comes a bear hug.
XxXxX
Finn sat next to his mom and chewed a bite of the pasta. It was really good. Did Karofsky really make this? What is that mushrooms? What kind of cheese is that?
His mom could see the furrow in his brow, like he was trying to figure something out.
"Finn, honey? You look, I don't know…are you okay?"
Dave liked that Finn's mom called him 'honey.' It made him miss not having a mother, but he was glad that Kurt had Carole as a substitute for his. She was pretty and he could tell that she loved Burt by the way she constantly brushed her hand into his.
Finn swallowed his bite and glanced across the table at Dave and Kurt.
"Um…confession…I didn't make this." He pointed his fork to his plate.
Carole smiled at her son as did Burt. Then the whole table snickered a bit, even Dave.
"We know." Carole confessed.
Confused and a little defensive, "What? How?"
Burt spoke up, "Finn – do you even know how to turn the stove on?"
Carole added, "Sweetie, we're not making fun of you. We just know that this is…um…not your specialty."
Burt looked over to Dave and Dave met his eyes.
"This is really good. Thank you David."
Dave had just put a forkful in his mouth, so he just nodded a response.
Finn put his fork down as if he needed to concentrate.
"Hey – so…I'm not trying to be rude, but…why is Karofsky here? I mean it's family night, right...and he's not family…"
Kurt looked from Finn to Burt.
Burt just nodded to Dave.
"Dave."
Dave swallowed. He was nervous. It wasn't even because Finn might be mad, but this would be the first person from McKinley that he'd come out to. Even though he transferred schools, somehow it still mattered. Maybe he felt this was because everybody there knew him and had this preconceived notion of what Dave was like or what Karofsky was like rather. Just because he didn't go to McKinley anymore didn't mean he never saw the students from there. Moreover, by telling Finn, he would effectively be telling everyone at his old school.
He took a deep breath.
"Finn – I'm here…tonight," he could feel sweat forming on his brow, "…because Mr. and Mrs. H…"
Finn studied Dave's face.
Dave continued, "…they thought that…well…" Dave felt Kurt's hand brush his thigh for courage – he took another breath, "if I'm going to…date Kurt…"
Finn interjected, "What? Date Kurt?"
Dave could see Finn's confusion. It's like Finn didn't believe what his ears were relaying to his brain.
"I'm gay, Finn."
"What? No way…" Finn said in disbelief.
Carole reached over and held Finn's hand, "Finn." He looked at her, "You okay? I know all of this is a lot to take in."
Finn looked around the table and settled on Dave's face, "Yea – I mean – whoa. I never saw that coming – I mean, you're gay, really?"
Dave nodded, then Finn motioned toward Kurt, "…and I mean…you used to beat up on Kurt and all…so I just never..."
Dave's stomach instantly knotted. He knew it was the truth, but it was painful to hear.
Kurt saw Dave's expression and defended him, "Finn - that was like a year ago, and he never actually beat me up. He apologized last year and I forgave him. He's changed, matured. He's a different person now." Kurt said it like he'd been rehearsing it.
"But he threatened to kill you, Kurt." Finn was concerned, bordering on anger.
"Finn – let him talk." Burt said soundly.
Finn looked at Burt with a touch of anger and asked, "And you're okay with this?"
Burt nodded, "Look – Dave's really not the same person he was last year. He's been kind, polite, and he was under no obligation to cook us dinner here tonight. But…even if I didn't approve, which for the record, I do…I trust Kurt. I admit it was surprising…at first…but I see how he is with Kurt."
Finn didn't agree, "You can't just wipe all that away – it happened."
Dave leaned his elbows on the table and clasped his hands together, "I know – and I wish I could take it all back, but I can't." He said, "All I can do is try and be this person – the one I am today. I was screwed up, and I took it out on everybody around me, especially Kurt. It was a lot to deal with. I wish I could explain it…"
Kurt continued Dave's thought, "Finn – you can't understand what it's like to be closeted and so afraid that someone will find out, that you lash out at everybody you feel is a threat to you."
"How were you a threat?" Finn asked.
Dave answered, "He was the only out gay kid at McKinley…I just…I knew he could see right through me, and everybody would know…I was just so afraid of being found out that I…I just.." Dave's voice started to waver, "I was so mad that Kurt could just wake up one day and just be who he was…and all of his friends would just…I don't know…be okay with it and stuff. But I couldn't be…I wasn't allowed to be that guy…so I hid."
Finn thought on that for a moment.
"So you figured that if you targeted Kurt…that…that no one would suspect you?"
Dave looked down at his plate and nodded.
"Man – that's messed up."
Dave looked up sheepishly, "I know."
Dave looked at Kurt who seemed to have a small but encouraging smile. He had more to say, but he wanted to remember Kurt's smile while it lasted because after what he was about to say, it might not still be there.
"So…um…I have a confession too…Finn, remember sophomore year when Z and I were messing with you and stuff?"
Finn remembered. It wasn't a pleasant time for him. "Yea – you guys ripped my letterman jacket and called me gay and stuff – yea, I remember.
Dave looked around the table and all eyes were on him. He hoped this went as well in real life than it did in his head. He'd actually forgot about the letterman jacket. That was Azimio's idea.
"Sorry about that…so – that…that wasn't just because of you joining Glee…"
Finn just waited for Dave to continue.
"Z wanted to mess with you because of Glee, you know, teach you a lesson about social food chain or something, but…" Dave swallowed again and needed to take a drink, but was unwilling to pause. "I didn't really care about that…I was…it's just…I could tell Kurt was getting close to you and…" Dave looked at Kurt who still looked confused.
Finn chuckled, "You thought I was gay?"
Dave's face remained serious, "No-no-no–" Then Dave almost chuckled at the thought, "…but Kurt was…um…I could tell…look – I know he had a crush on you…and I guess I was just…I don't know like…so freaking jealous or whatever, and I just took it out on you."
Dave waited for that to sink in before continuing, "I'm really sorry, Finn." Dave looked up to meet Finn's and then looked for Kurt's reaction.
Dave saw Kurt's face change – it was surprise. Kurt must not have thought about why Finn was being tormented beyond his joining Glee club.
"Oh my god…It all makes sense now," Kurt turned from Dave to Finn, "Don't you see Finn?"
Finn smiled and nodded, but then stopped and shook his head, "No."
Looking at Dave Kurt said, "Dave, I had no idea…I mean…you know…that you were dealing with all of this…for like how many years, and..."
Finn jumped in, "I don't get it…I mean…I get it, but I don't, you know?" He said. "Why didn't you just…I don't know say something – come out? I mean Kurt did it and after a lot of the football guys joined Glee, you and Azimio were, for the most part, really the only ones that like…I don't know, cared or whatever."
Dave shook his head, "It doesn't work that way…at least I couldn't see how, at that point, that it could…not really."
"Why not?" Finn asked.
Kurt looked at Dave and then to Finn, "Finn, you don't know how hard it is to hide something like this-"
"No, Kurt – actually you don't know how hard it is," Dave cut Kurt off.
Kurt's face was back to surprise, but drifted toward questioning.
"What do you mean I don't know?"
"Kurt, seriously, I think everyone knew or at least suspected that you were gay…I'm not saying that to be mean, but it's the truth."
Kurt just stared at Dave. Carole wanted to say something in Kurt's defense, but Burt caught her hand.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Kurt was curious but a little offended, not because Dave assumed everyone knew he was gay, but that Dave thought it mattered.
"Kurt – think about it. You came out and everybody was like, 'and? So what's new?' but me? A jock? That's different," Dave said.
"How exactly is that different?" Kurt was offended now. He didn't approve of the double standard.
"It's not socially acceptable. Jocks are supposed to be rough-n-tough and…and…not gay. They're supposed to date cheerleaders and-"
"I can't believe you think that." Kurt gave Dave a disapproving look. He was angry. He didn't like being told what gays couldn't and couldn't be like.
Dave sighed, "I don't – not any more. It took me meeting Patrick to see for myself that a guy could be…" Dave counted off his fingers, "…a jock…gay…and comfortable with being out."
Kurt's expression softened, but Burt's turned confused; he didn't know Patrick.
Dave filled them all in on meeting Patrick, leaving out Scandals part and keeping the story that Patrick told at the rink about how they met. Mostly, Dave mentioned how he got comfortable with the idea of someone who was like him, except out.
Kurt realized how different he and Dave really were. He understood now that his being gay wasn't enough to help Dave come to terms and come out. Dave needed someone like him, someone he could truly relate to. Kurt finally comprehended just how important Patrick was in his relationship with Dave. If it weren't for Patrick, Dave would most likely still be closeted and definitely not going on a date with him tomorrow night.
"I never thought about it like that," Finn said.
Dave nodded.
Finn continued, "So – You're saying, it's socially acceptable for Kurt to be gay, but not you?"
"Exactly," Dave agreed. "But it's not just jocks – Kurt's the same way."
Kurt was confused, "I don't follow."
Dave had to think for a second to put it into words so he could make Kurt understand.
"Okay – um…let me ask you a question. What designer did…I don't know…Charlize Theron wear to the Oscars in 2010?"
"Dior, and it was a complete failure." Kurt answered without thinking.
Dave just stared at him.
"What?" Kurt said after a moment of silence.
"I couldn't have told you that if my life depended on it."
"But that's fashion; I know you're not into fashion."
"Okay – what about Eve Harrington?" You once told me that 'if I'm going to be gay, then I simply must know who that was,' but I don't." He just looked at Kurt's face, wishing he could just shut up and kiss him. "So don't you see? How am I not supposed to classify what is and what isn't 'gay,' if you do the same thing?"
Kurt just stared. He hadn't considered that he was stereotyping what was 'gay' acceptable and what wasn't. Kurt wasn't mad; he felt…enlightened. Enlightened about gays by…Dave Karofsky.
"Look, Kurt – I'm not trying to pick a fight here. I…I mean…I just needed to…I don't know, like give my side of the story or whatever…you know?"
Kurt nodded. He actually felt bad for not realizing his bias earlier.
Dave continued, "…and I wanted to try and explain things to Finn," he turned to Finn, "…so I hope you'll forgive me…or at least, think about it, okay?"
"No – It's fine, I mean…It's all good now and stuff…and well, I think it's really cool that you told me." Finn gave a dopey, honest smile.
Dave rubbed the back of his neck, "Well, thanks for not wanting to kick my ass or anything…plus, I knew that I needed to tell you…in order to…you know…go out with Kurt and stuff." It still sounded a little unnatural, but it was getting easier to say.
Burt chimed in, "Now Finn, this is Dave's secret to tell. I don't want you saying anything to anybody, not even to Rachel."
Finn nodded, "Okay…I mean, it'll be weird for people…well, maybe not as weird as Kurt dating Dave, but…"
Kurt brought his hand down to Dave's thigh again. He was proud of Dave, but Burt caught the transgression this time.
Looking at Kurt he pointed and said, "Hands where I can see 'em."
Kurt's hand jumped up as he gave a nervous chuckle.
"That reminds me. We have rules in this house," Burt looked at Kurt and Dave, "Hands stay on the outside of clothes, and no closed doors. Got it?" he nodded at Dave.
Dave quickly agreed, "Yes sir." He couldn't believe he was going on a date with Kurt, so there was no way he was going to mess it up by breaking a house rule.
When they were finished, Dave offered to help clean up, but Carole insisted that Finn help since he was supposed to cook anyway. Kurt gave Dave the tour and ended at Kurt's room.
It had more of a hotel room feel to it. The queen-sized bed had two small nightstands on either side. He could see pictures in frames on a nearby bookshelf. There were pictures of all the Glee kids and even one of his dad. Kurt showed Dave his enormous walk-in closet. It was probably half the size of Kurt's room, and it was full of clothes.
Kurt's bed was covered in a white, down-filled duvet and a chocolate bed-runner. It was the most inviting bedroom Dave had ever been in.
"So this is your bed?"
"Yea - so?"
"Nothing – I just figured it would be…I don't know…" Dave laid down on his back and stretched out. "Wow. It's so soft." Dave was going to say he thought the bedroom would be more 'lacy,' but upon second thought, this was more like what he'd imagine Kurt's bedroom to be like - inviting.
Kurt climbed in and laid on his side, curled next to Dave, his head propped by his hand. They weren't quite touching, but they were close.
They just soaked in the quiet. It was comfortable. Dave had come out to Finn and Kurt understood Dave a little more.
Suddenly Dave asked, "Hey – can I see your phone?"
"Sure – why?"
"I just want to see if you've added anything to my playlist."
Kurt handed Dave his phone and Dave started flicking through it. He purposely held it close to his face, so Kurt couldn't see what he was looking at. After a minute he handed it back.
"You liked my Depeche Mode idea?"
"Yea – I thought it was perfect actually." He absently placed his hand on Dave's chest. He could feel the strong, flat muscle. It was firm and warm. He moved his hand down to Dave's bicep, and that was just as nice. He moved back up to Dave's chest and felt something small and rigid.
Kurt accidentally grazed Dave's nipple, and Dave shot up in bed and leaned back on his arms. It was enough to get Kurt to move his hand. Dave never felt that sensation before. He could feel his pants getting a little tighter. It was like his nipple somehow had a direct line to his dick. Sure, he'd touched his nipples sometimes when he jerked off, but it felt different somehow when someone else, Kurt, did it.
Kurt thought Dave moved simply because of the inadvertent intimate touch "Oh – I'm sorry…I didn't mean to…" Kurt could now clearly see Dave's biceps that were pushing out over his rolled up sleeves. When did Karofsky get so freaking hot? Kurt imagined what Dave's naked body must look and feel like. The thought gave Kurt a similar feeling that Dave had a moment ago.
They could both sense something in the air change, but before words were said, the door flew open to a troubled Burt. He could see them lying on the bed, thankfully, fully clothed.
"If this door closes again," he pointed between the boys, "you lose it…you hear me?"
Dave immediately stood and distanced himself from Kurt hoping no one noticed any bulges.
The three of them moved back to the living room. No one asked them to leave Kurt's room, but Dave didn't want to come out and get thrown out all in the same night.
Carole and Burt said their goodbyes and thanked Dave for cooking.
Finn was still drying the dishes in the kitchen when Dave waved goodbye.
Kurt was trying to figure out a good way to get a quick kiss in without Burt or anyone seeing, but as they stepped outside, Finn joined them.
Finn stuck out his hand to Dave, "Hey man, thanks again; that Lasagna stuff was awesome sauce."
"No problem," Dave smiled easily, "Seriously, it was nothing."
"Hey – just wanted to say one more thing…" Finn stepped closer to Kurt and Dave, "I'm cool with…you know…you guys, but Dave – remember last year when you talked to the Glee club and Santana told everyone you two were dating?"
Dave nodded, "Yea?" That was embarrassing. Not so much because it was Santana, she's the hottest girl in the school, hands down. It was because he did it for the wrong reasons. He should have been man enough to say all those things without being blackmailed by a closeted lesbian looking for a beard.
"Well, I guess I get it now…but back then everybody thought it was…I dunno…gross or something…"
Dave dropped his shoulders and looked away for a second, defeated, "but that wasn-"
"I know man…I'm just saying…just like…I dunno…maybe let them ease into the idea or something."
Kurt piped in, "But don't forget to take into account that was Santana, not me."
Dave nodded like that was a good point.
"Kurt, you're my brother, and I love you…and I just don't want to see you get hurt," he looked back to Dave, "Dude, don't screw this up."
Dave just smirked, "you took the words right outta my mouth."
Kurt was impatient now, "Okay – Finn, you've had your 'big brother' speech, so unless you wanna see something that I know you don't wanna see…"
Finn let out a disapproving sound, "I'm outta here." Finn turned and quickly made it back inside.
Without warning, Kurt reached up and gave Dave a quick peck on the lips, more of a brush really, but it was enough to bring a smile back to Dave's face.
"I've been waiting to do that all night."
"Yea?" Smiling and walking backwards towards his truck Dave said, "See ya tomorrow."
Kurt waved back and nodded, "tomorrow."
XxXxX
A/N I felt like this scene needed to happen before the date. I also felt like I needed to move Patrick's story along sooner rather than later
