Chapter the Thirteenth: "Wandering Feet Have Gone too Far"
Author's Note: Hullo lovelies! Here is the next chapter, hope you enjoy it. Thank you for all the reviews, and I apologize it took me so long to type this up. :) Many thanks to FalconHawk for the advice and assistance and Kyla and Carachs for the constant reviews. Definitely recommend Rise of the Wardens and The Firebird if you've not already.
Megara knew right away that something was very wrong with Haven. She stepped back, as skittish as a startled horse, after stepping on a twig and breaking it.
"Are you alright?" Alistair asked, reaching out a hand protectively.
"The Veil is so thin here. This place is dangerous. It just feels wrong." She shivered, not from the cold, but a sense of foreboding.
"Morrigan? What do you think?" Tara asked, frowning as she surveyed the desolate village.
The witch merely frowned in reply, running her fingers over a locket around her neck.
Other than one strange child, the group had not seen a single soul. It was eerily quiet. Even Grey stuck close to the group, his ears laid back and a low growl humming from his throat every now and then. Tara decided they should split up; one group going to the store and the rest checking on a house that Morrigan sense some disturbance from. Already unsettled, Megara went with Leliana and Zevran to the store to attempt at trading. While the clerk seemed shocked to see them, he was friendly enough and sold them the goods they asked for, amicably. Tara had asked them all to meet near the Chantry afterwards, so they headed there next.
While they waited, Leliana busied herself collecting some roots she spied from a nearby bush. Megara was feeling ill from the effects of the Veil, so she walked over to Zevran and tucked her arms in front of her and leaned her head against his shoulder. Zevran made her feel safer. She wasn't used to feeling fear to begin with. She could feel his body jerk slightly in surprised when she sidled up to him, but it was only a moment before he wrapped his arms around her.
"Shhh, it will be fine, my beauty. I think the air does not agree with you, hmm?" he asked, stroking her hair to calm her. She buried her face against his neck and pressed herself closer to him.
"You could sleep like this every night, you know," Zevran's voice was husky, but tender. Megara stepped back to answer him but was interrupted when the others came running and shouting up the hill. Morrigan was the first to the top, out of breath but clearly from the look of her, things were about to go from bad to ugly.
"It seems out mage was right about this place. Let's go see what's going on in the Chantry," Morrigan declared. While they made the short trek up the last of the hill to the Haven Chantry, Alistair filled the rest in on what they'd found.
Megara nearly gagged. Grey was growling audibly now and everyone was completely on edge. Megara almost didn't want to go inside the place, it practically emanated evil. Once inside, she realized just how right she was.
They walked inside to a middle aged man giving a sermon. He stopped mid sentence, a mighty glare on his face. He crossed his arms and began arguing with their leader. Megara felt woozy. There was so much evil in this place. She couldn't even breathe properly, it was stifling her so. Instinctively, she reached for Maferath's Betrayal and held it before her, still not quite listening to the conversation but keenly aware that it was not going to end well.
Suddenly, Tara jumped aside to dodge a spell that Father Eirik had cast. All hell broke loose after. Some of the villagers fled out the front door but most attacked, along with the guards. Her team pounced into position, Megara could hear nothing but her heart pounding as she cast spells and maneuvered to stay out of the range of those with swords. She and Morrigan focused on Father Eirik, who was proving to be quite a powerful foe. Megara had to use several spells to try and bind him still. Morrigan was both healing and attempting to lodge the odd fireball at him. Everything blurred together for Megara, she was focused but at the same time she felt like she wasn't even in her own body but watching the fight from afar.
The battle had drained her. Leliana was wounded and everyone was winded. Every guard and villager was dead at their feet, the wooden floors soaked with blood, spattered on the walls, dripping from chairs. Morrigan had drily remarked that even all these deaths could not repay the blood Haven had likely shed over its years.
Megara was trying to open a vial of lyrium potion but her hands were shaking. Cursing, she slammed her head against the wall. She was sitting against a wall, in one of the only remotely blood-free spots. She was beyond exhausted and desperately wanted this blasted potion open. Alistair walked over, bent down and took the bottle from her, opening it deftly. When he passed it back to her, he rubbed her fingers. Surprised in her stupor, she looked up. They locked gazes for a long moment. "Thank you," she said, turning away. When she looked back, he was in another corner arguing with Tara, both of them using animated hand motions. She couldn't hear what they were saying. Feeling the potion kick in, she pursed her lips and struggled up.
Upon investigating the rooms, they soon made a shocking discovery. Brother Gentivi, wounded severely, was sequestered in a hidden room. They had all tried to rush in at once, causing a bit of a scuffle and a few swear words, but they all managed to finally squeeze in. After healing him and listening to his story, they decided to press on to find the Urn.
Megara was heartily glad to hear it. They exited the Chantry through a back passage, carved into the very rock of the mountain. Megara lingered about, last to leave. Once everyone was safely away, she turned back, almost mechanically. She ducked through the rock and back inside the building. letting her gaze take in the blood and the horror these fanatics had wrought, she shuddered violently. Quickly, she released her staff and trained it on a tapestry, lighting it on fire. Thick black smoke began to curl upwards, filling the ceiling. She lit three others on fire just to be sure. Exiting the building and stepping back into the rock entrance, she wasn't surprised to see Zevran standing there, his arms crossed. Before he could speak she waved him over.
"Help me with this stone door," she said simply.
They shoved and pushed until the stone rolled into place, blocking the Chantry and preventing any smoke to float through.
"Why am I not surprised?" Zevran asked lightly, a trace of irritation in his voice.
"Don't be then. Such a cache of foul and evil things must be laid to waste. Burnt from this earth. I don't care if you agree or not," she spat back, striding off up the hill.
It wasn't long before they were in the temple proper. The very sight stole Megara's breath. It was amazingly beautiful. High, vaulted ceilings that stretched beyond sight, columns and carvings everywhere. The open cavern was gigantic. Where light filtered in here and there, the dust that danced through it seemed to sparkle and tease her. There were arches and statues, everything intricately carved and placed with purpose. The untouched silence gave the temple an air of magic and intrigue. Megara was staring in open-mouthed wonder. The air was cold and as she gaped at all in her vision, Megara noticed there was snow piled about in the temple. Pristine white snow, not the filthy kind she had stepped through as of late. Utterly delighted, she raced past Leliana and Genitivi, who were animatedly discussing some ancient writing on one of the walls. Grey was chewing on a large icicle and Morrigan was pulling on gloves. Megara jogged over to one of the columns, stretching it's frozen arms up into the darkness. Crouching at its base, she sifted her fingers through the soft, powdery snow. She'd never seen snow this pure and perfect. It was very cold but felt marvelous to her hands. Suddenly, she had an idea.
A few minutes later she stood up carefully, her arms bursting with carefully packed snowballs. Picking one, she folded her other arm around the rest and hugged them to her chest. She turned to look over her shoulder. Leliana and Zevran were standing near the entrance looking bored, Alistair was trying to pull Grey off the icicle and then Tara was advancing towards her. Smiling wickedly, she turned on her heel and pelted her leader with a snowball. Silence lasted only a few moments.
"Why, you little!" Tara screeched at her and bent to scoop up a pile of snow. Megara launched another at her hair and took off running as carefully as she could. Soon, everyone was scrambling. A full blown snow ball fight ensued in the large cavern entrance. They tried to form teams at first but no one could resist pelting anyone with a snowball when their back was turned. Megara landed one on Zevran's arse and peeled away to hide behind a column. Breathing heavily she realized it was everyone for themselves. Grey bounded happily all over the place, barking and scampering about.
Peeking around the corner, she was met with a snow ball full to face from Morrigan. Screaming, she took off after her, lodging every one of hers back at her friend. Morrigan was too quick, however and soon evaded her. Slipping on a sheet of ice, she nearly went down on her hip had it not been for Grey. Steadying herself she patted him on the head and jumped behind another column to make more snow balls. Her fingers were frozen and she had to lick icy driplets running down her face. There was still snow in her hair but she couldn't stop. She could hear Leliana and Tara shrieking. She forced her fingers to unlock and form six more snowballs. Crouching, she waited.
"Aha!" she whispered to herself as Morrigan attempted to creep by her. Forgetting the other snowballs, Megara reared back both arms and launched both snowballs at Morrigan's back. One sailed pitifully past her but another hit her square in the neck.
"Ewww, you awful mage, it's running down my coat!" It was hilarious to see the witch squeal and jump about, shaking her coat. Her chest heaving, Megara took a quick peak before running and sliding towards the right side of the cavern. She zigzagged up the middle and dashed behind a decrepit fountain, breathless. She tried to form another snowball but her fingers were red and swollen. Squeezing them open and shut, she finally managed one. Setting it aside, she peeked around the corner of the fountain. Zevran was trying to flee from Morrigan who was obviously cheating and using some spell to launch endless snowballs. Tara and Leliana were no where to be seen but their shrieks echoed off the frozen walls. Adjusting her feet, she made to crawl around the other side of the fountain.
"Boo!" Alistair cackled, hitting her with a snowball in the arm. Yelling, she lopsidedly launched her last one at him. Scrambling to her feet awkwardly, she vaulted away and in her glee down a hallway. Lots of fallen rock and columns littered the path. Jumping and dodging, she finally came to a halt and found a hiding spot. Crouching don quickly, she grabbed a small scoop of snow and formed one last snow ball. When Alistair ran past her, she hit him in the back with it. Turning, she made to run back out of the hall but slipped on the ice. Alistair caught her wrist and tried to pull her back up but misjudged his own footing and slid with her. They twisted and slid, skidding to a halt near the wall. Alistair had both his hands around her waist, her hands clutching his arms. Laughing, they both let go and tried to catch their breath. Megara's face was hot from exertion and she stepped around Alistair to leave.
"Megara," Alistair said, in a voice she'd never heard from him. She froze, turning back towards him. All of a sudden he was slamming her against the wall, pressing himself into her. His body was trembling and he had a wild look in his eyes. Megara's heart was racing and her skin felt on fire. She pushed him away, keeping her gaze locked on his eyes, fiercely. Then his lips bore down on hers, hungrily. Stunned, she pressed her palms against the icy stone wall and backed up. He stepped forward, pressing himself into her. His tongue was hot and needy, desperate in her mouth. Losing her breath, and will, she kissed him back. She was screaming at herself in her head but all she could focus on was his warmth. She bit his lip angrily but he ran his tongue across her lip and back into her mouth. A low moan escaped from his throat and he made to move his kisses to her neck. She snapped out of it and shoved him away. Panting, they watched each other warily.
"I...I'm so sorry," he whispered, a look of confusion crossing his face before he took off at a reckless run down the hall. Megara lifted her frozen palms up to cover her face and cool it. Cailan. When Alistair had kissed her...she had thought of Cailan. Why? Maker why did he do that? Why did I even respond!? Kicking the wall in confusion and frustration, she tore down the corridor to the main hall.
Very carefully they both rejoined the snowball fray, engaging each other and pretending nothing had ever happened. They didn't look each other in the eye once, but managed to smile and laugh with glee with all their other companions.
Afterwards, they all sat, giggling and exhausted around a fire pit that someone had relit. Zevran was complaining about Morrigan's trickery. It was getting late and they needed sleep but were too exposed in this large, open cavern.
"I can go scout for a closed in side room, somewhere safer," she offered. She wanted to be alone with her thoughts. She had already snapped at Zevran, moments earlier.
"Good idea. You shouldn't go alone though, deeper into the temple. There may be some straggler zealots left or monsters of some sort. Take Alistair with you," Tara said, turning back to adding fodder on the fire.
Well, fuck.
They traveled in silence, keeping an arm's length distance at all times. They quickly realized the temple was not indeed quite as abandoned as the entrance foyer. They had to spend a bit of time clearing the side wing they were in, giant spiders and cultists and a lone wolf. Dispatching them fairly easily, they finally came to the end of the tunnel. They stopped to catch their breath and take a drink from their canteens. Alistair, his hands on his hips, paced about the chamber. Wildly, Megara wished for an instant that he would push her against the wall and kiss her again. Quickly she admonished herself and shook the unwelcome thought from her mind. Alistair stopped pacing in front of her.
"Listen, I'm sorry. I don't know what possessed m to do that. I won't let it happen again," he said in a strangled tone. His face was dark and fierce and his tone angry. He immediately spun around and stalked down the way they'd come.
Megara had never heard him speak without fumbling over his words. Hesitating, she raced to catch up to him. Grabbing his hand, she squeezed it.
"Let's be friends, okay?" She asked lightly, looking up at him and smiling.
His eyes softened and he finally smiled. "Yeah I'd like that." He squeezed her hand back and let go.
That night they settled in a small room almost at the end of the corridor. It had no snow but no ventilation. The ceilings in the corridor were so low that a fire for warmth was impossible. It wasn't overly freezing in this room, but it was definitely cold. Leliana argued for going back. Megara came up with a plan. In the final room, where a large crack in the wall split and snaked up to the corner in the ceiling, they built a roaring fire. The smoke could pass through to outside fine. Then they could sleep in the adjoining room, and have some of the benefit of the heat. Megara and Morrigan set traps all the way down the hallway to the room. To keep themselves safe and try to prevent the warmth from seeping out, they blocked the entrance to the room they'd sleep in with a large stone slab. It took four of them to shove it into place.
"There, nothing can sneak up on us and no need for watch, either. We can all get some sleep." Morrigan was always sensible.
They all laid out their bedrolls close to each other. It was warmer, but still quite chilly. They were shivering and chattering in no time and soon decided to pair up for warmth. Alistair and Tara were already huddled together under their blankets. Tara's snoring was rumbling about the chamber as the rest of them rearranged. Before Megara could nestle up to Zevran, Leliana had moved over beside him, giggling about wanting some Antivan warmth. Zevran had frowned slightly but not said anything to discourage her. Laying back to back with Morrigan, she seethed, trying to remind herself she had no right to be angry. Silent tears burned her eyes and she cursed her foolishnes.
In the morning, she was the first to get up. She rolled her pack up quietly and laced her boots. As she turned to look at her companions, Alistair and Tara were wound in each others' arms. Smiling she looked over to Zevran and Leliana. Her face became a mask of fury. Leliana was cuddled into Zevran, the very same way he had held her yesterday. We can sleep like this every night... His words echoed hollowly in her mind. Swallowing as much of her rage as she could, she shouldered her pack and walked the few steps down the corridor to the stone slab. She was shaking with anger and hurt. Gathering her emotions, she harnessed them into an explosive spell from her fingertips, blasting the slab apart. The noise rang through the corridor and rooms, mingling with Leliana and Tara's screams. Not missing a beat, Megara strode down the way, stepping over every single trap and not bothering to disarm them.
When the group caught up with her, Tara was furious. Her pale was red and her eyes gleamed. She tried to engage Megara in an argument, but she simply glared back silently, refusing to utter a word. Exasperated, Tara threw up her hands and ordered everyone to follow her so they could begin exploring the temple. Megara refused to speak to anyone that morning. Morrigan seemed bemused by her wrath, Alistair distressed and Leliana terrified. At least Zevran had the decency to look ashamed. They pressed on, looking for maps or keys or anything that might tell them where the Urn was.
After a particularly nasty battle with an Ash Wraith, they discovered a snow-covered, ornate chest. Zevran seemed to materialize a tool with which he quickly picked the chest. Tara bent down to sort through the contents.
"Hmmm, not much of anything to help us find the Urn, but there are some valuable things in here. Take what you will, comrades," she said, selecting a bracelet and some sort of goblet. Each person, save for Megara, who chose to stand against a wall sulking, took their turn looting the chest.
Leliana found a little statue she thought would please Sten. "He must think we are surely dead by now," she whispered worriedly.
Zevran stood after placing a few things in his pack and walked over to her. He held out his fist, turning it over and letting his fingers open. He had a very pleased smile on his face. In his open palm was a beautiful black pearl, bigger than any she'd ever seen. Not wavering in her anger, Megara knocked his hand away, sending the pearl scattering to the ground. As she stormed away, she could hear Leliana gasp and Zevran's angry growl.
It only seemed fitting to her misery that Leliana later recognized the damn thing and used it to light some enormous brazier in the main hall, towards the back. It opened another door, to the inner temple, and a room full of powerful foes. Megara had been lost in her thoughts, angrily standing near the door's entrance while the others had clustered around the brazier. She was full of thoughts; the storeroom in Redcliffe and a foolish kiss in an icy corridor. Huffing, she wrenched herself away from the wall the moment the door slid open, charging in, her staff held high. She hadn't waited on the others but set to work. Despite using her best spells and channeling her emotions into power, she nearly got herself killed. Everyone knew it, too. She almost wanted to die, then. Once the last wraith and demon had been slain, they all looked at her. She was sprawled in a corner, chest heaving. Aware of their eyes on her, she struggled up and stood defiantly. She winced in pain and swayed. Tara strode up to her, grabbed her firmly by the shoulders and shook her.
"Why!? Why would you do that? You almost died, Megara! You can't storm into a room full of wraiths and demons by yourself! Do you want a suicide mission so badly!? Do you not stop to think of anyone but yourself, ever!? We need you!" There were tears in her eyes.
Although Megara was momentarily cowed, she kept her resolve to remain silent. She was also sure that where Tara held her arms, pinching, that there would be bruises, she didn't move though, allowing the shorter woman to shake her and curse at her. Finally, a sob escaped Tara. She let go of her forcefully, turned to go but stopped. Tara whirled around and slapped her once, then again with her other hand. In her weakened state, Megara fell backwards again, coming down hard on her hip. She bit her lip hard too, to keep from crying out. She could feel blood flood her mouth and tears threaten to fall but she allowed herself no concessions. Tara stalked off and Alistair grabbed her, wrapping his fellow Warden in an embrace. As she watched Tara sob into Alistair's chest, she was acutely aware of everyone's glares.
Once Tara had calmed and they had started progressing again, only then did she utter a small cry of pain. Lifting her shirt, her side was already turning black and bruising. She was a tornado of emotions as she trudged solemnly far behind the others. She was furious with herself, with Zevran and Alistair. She couldn't bring herself to feel any anger towards Tara. Tara was their leader and had every right to be angry with her. She was hurt and confused and lonely. Surrounded by these people all these weeks, she still felt completely alone.
As the others descended into the lower caves, she wanted to bolt. She started to, but her legs were cement. She stood transfixed, watching everyone duck their heads and leave the temple behind. She couldn't breathe, her chest felt tight. She knew she needed to cry. Refusing, she turned her head in spite. Finally, she lifted her feet and turned to run. She stopped only a few yards away, distracted by a reflection she thought was a foe. Realizing it was her own haggard reflection shining from a mirror-like wall, she harnessed her staff.
She walked over to the wall, crossing her feet as she stepped, mesmerized by the sight. She stared at herself. She was haggard, indeed. Her eyes were sunken, the light in them gone. Her golden hair seemed dull. She'd lost weight and her skin didn't glow. She couldn't rip her gaze away, though.
What have I become?
For a long while, she stood perfectly still, gazing at herself. Reaching into her pocket, she felt Connor's soft locket of hair. It was both devastating and reassuring. Her mind was a furious storm of emotions, thoughts and regrets.
She felt like a child, then. "Liberia" she whispered mournfully, not stopping the tears. They fell, as she watched her reflection. She shivered and hung her head finally. "Above all, I want you to learn to be kind" Keeper Liberia's words rang in her head. Megara took a deep breath, resolving herself.
Snapping her head up, she stared boldly back at herself. "I am not Jowan. I will not run in cowardice. I will not betray my friends or those I love. I will stay and I will fight," she said confidently to the mirror. Her eyes were now bright with determination. Reaching a steady hand out, she touched her reflection. It disappeared and she found herself staring at an ordinary grey wall. Stepping back, she perused the wall again. Shaking her head, she turned and jogged quickly to the path, eager to catch up with her comrades and atone for her mistakes.
* Never fear, Alistair and Tara shippers. Before the hate mail starts. ;) I'm not intent on breaking your beloved pairing, hahaha. Tis merely a piece of my plot, my dastardly plans. What did you think? Can Megara ever really change her ways? Will Zevran move on to Leliana? Will they find the Urn?
