I"M BACKK! And also, this chapter is NOT Beta'd!;-)
"…I have breast cancer…."
He didn't know how to react. Nor did he think he should even react at all. It's almost impossible for him to even find some sort of reaction. And right now, he couldn't. The words I have a breast cancer that had flown out of her mouth rendered him speechless. Completely at a loss for words. He couldn't exactly say anything. Or correction, he couldn't seem to produce the right words to say.
What could he say really? 'I'm sorry you have breast cancer'? Or 'That's too bad….'
For now, all he could do was just hold her.
Moana was sobbing into his chest unceasingly, hands clutching at his shirt. He held her in silence, swaying her slowly as her tears soaked his chest. A tiny lapse let her pull away, blinking lashes with heavy tears, before she collapsed again, her whimpers of misery worsening. The pain coming in waves, minutes of sobbing broken apart by short pauses for recovering breaths, before hurling her back into the outstretched arms of grief.
She was clutching onto him so tightly for fear that he would easily just slip right through the cracks of her fingers and leave. Disappear out of thin air without any advanced warning.
For a moment, they just stood there. Embracing each other with so much desperation, even Maui had to fight back the tears that burned his eyes. The fact that he was standing here, holding his roommate in his arms who was so vulnerable, it caused his own heart to ache just seeing how much emotional pain she has held inside of her for so long. All he could really do for the remainder of that moment was to press soft kisses to the crown of her head, and whisper to her that it was okay.
Even though it didn't seem to be.
So after a while of allowing her the time she needed to calm down and take a few more deep breaths, they find themselves in the family room. Maui had decided to flick on the switch and allow the burning flames from the fireplace to arise. He goes back to the kitchen to turn on the kettle, thinking that a cup of tea would mend the emotional wounds. And when he comes back and hands her the mug along with a tissue he managed to pick up, she numbly takes the two objects from him, though she's grateful for his warm gesture. He doesn't hesitate to claim the spot on the couch next to her, and he tentatively wraps an arm around her shoulders, as she rests her head against his.
They sit like that for a while. Silent. Watching the flames flourish in their lines of vision. Not a single word was said.
After all, considering the fact that it was more than just 'I'm sick with the flu' and instead replaced with 'I have breast cancer', even Maui seemed to have a difficult time processing those words and allowing them to make a home in his system.
"…I…I'm sorry you…." Her voice breaks as she speaks. "….that you had to…find out this way…."
He looks down at her. "Don't be sorry." His thick fingers play notes on the tips of her shoulder. "It isn't something you should feel sorry about."
"No…" She shakes her head. "I should've….told you sooner…" Teeth sink into her lip. "I tried…"
"Moana-"
"I tried, Maui!" She lifts her head to stare at him through tear filled eyes. "I really did! I….I wanted to tell you...but…"
He stares at her. Gaze apologetic.
Her eyes shifted to the side, and became glazed with more glassy layers of tears. As she blinked, they dripped down her eyelids and slid down her cheeks. She bit her lip tightly in an attempt to hide any sound that wanted to escape from her mouth; his heart sank.
Her lower lip quivers as the words slowly make their way out of her mouth. "…B-but…" She began, yet what follows in engulfed in tremors. "…I j-just….I just couldn't."
"Moana, I'm not-"
"I have breast cancer, Maui." Her gaze rakes over his. "I'm sick. Okay? I'm sick."
He blinks, unsure of how to respond. Raking his fingers through his hair, he lets out a sigh, a heavy one. Another bout of silence pressing down on the both of them. Neither of them saying a word, and he gently unwound his arm from around her and folded his hands into one another on his lap. He's the first to open his mouth to speak.
"Moana-"
"Maybe I…I shouldn't have said anything." She whispers, biting her lip as she scoots to the farther side of the couch. "I'm….sorry for…telling you."
He stares at her. "Moana, you have nothing to be sorry about." He watches as she dabs the tears away from her face. "I know that this is….difficult for you, but-"
"I should've just kept my mouth shut."
"But, Moana-"
"I-it's not…important anymore…"
He frowns. "What do you mean?"
"It's really not….that big of a deal." She shrugs, sniffling as she bites down on her lower lip to prevent the tears. "I mean, i-it's not like….this is all new to me or anything…."
"Don't say that."
"Don't say what?"
"That it's not a big deal."
"Well," She shrugs again, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, "it's….not though…I mean, I-I have a habit of….making it seem like it's….much worse than it…usually is…"
"That doesn't matter, Moana. It is a big deal." He shifts closer towards her, brows merging to a frown. "You shouldn't just…shrug it off all of a sudden like it's nothing serious."
It came as a surprise to Maui's ears when she forces what sounded like a small laugh through her teeth, though the tears still lingered on her face and spilled down her cheeks. "Well…to be honest Maui," She uses her now soggy tissue to wipe the salty liquid from her eyes, "I kinda….got used to just shrugging it off."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean that it's not like…." She heaves a shaky breath, "this is the first time that I'm…discovering this."
Right away, he knew. And now it's his turn to let out another sigh. "Moana, how long have you had the cancer for?"
Another sniffle. "Since I was twenty-two."
"So….you're saying that…you've been sick for three years?"
"Yea."
There's a silence that presses down amongst them. Swallowing them whole without a single warning. Maui couldn't seem to push away the sudden discomfort his body was beginning to feel. His gaze rakes over her small form. So vulnerable. So weak. So….hurt. He opens his mouth to speak.
"Moana-"
"Like I said before, Maui," She's quick to cut him off as she shakes her head, avoiding eye contact as she stares blankly at the orange and yellow flames dancing and hissing before her, "It's not a big deal."
"But-"
"If…I'm being completely honest here…." A pause, then a deep breath. "…I've been dealing with this for three years of my life." She tells him, trying to sound stern. But it just sounded like the tone in her own voice was wavering in pitch, courtesy of the many emotions that were all beginning to resurface all at once. "I've…I've managed to work through it then, and I just have to…force myself to…work through it now."
"That doesn't mean that you should just shrug it off."
She turns to look at him and whispers, "It's the only way for me to keep surviving."
"But it shouldn't be."
Her brows dent at his words. "There's not much else I can do, Maui." He swallows at her words. "I don't have a lot of options."
"Of course you do."
"No, I don't."
"Moana, you have-"
"Maui, this is something I have to live with for the rest of my life! Okay?" Her lower lip trembles. "For the rest of my life!"
He swallows again. Unable to blink. His gaze holding onto hers, tight and unwavering. The words he wanted to say disappearing off the tip of his tongue, wiped from his brain and unfound. He was beginning to think that maybe it was good idea if he just kept his mouth shut and not say anything. Seems like the more he spoke, the more damage he caused.
She tears her gaze away from his, sniffling. "I won't have much long to live." Her words seeped with acid, and he grimaced at the thought. "And when I die…." A pause. "…then it won't matter anymore."
"You're not going to die, Moana."
"Not yet." She looks at him. "But soon."
Maui can't help but frown at her choice of words. "Stop."
"Stop what?"
"Talking like that."
"What, stop saying that I'm going to die?" Her brows dent. "I am going to die from this, Maui. Eventually I am!"
"Moana, you're not going to die."
"Yes I am!"
"No, you're not."
"Yes, I am! And I will!"
"How can you be so sure then?"
"Because of what happened to my entire family! That's why!"
She hadn't meant to raise her voice, or to lash out at him. Because God knows he didn't deserve it. Heck, even she knew that he didn't deserve it. The way he flinched at the words that left her mouth, even she had seen the error in that sudden outburst. But it was the realization in her choice of words that made her recognize that she had said more than she allowed herself to. Because of what happened to my entire family! There it was, out it the open. And Moana knew deep down that she couldn't take those words back. No matter how much she wanted to.
She had said more than she needed. Her mouth quickly snaps shut. Her face streaked with glossy tears as she stared into Maui's gaze. Deep, confused and curious. Of course, just mentioning the tragedy of her family was the last thing she wanted to talk about. Her confessing her illness to Maui was already too much for her to handle. Much less, it was too much for even him to digest on his own.
Maui's gaze never leaves hers. He swallows, allowing his brain to thoroughly compose the right words he wants to say.
"What about your family, Moana?"
He watches how she flinches at his words. His question rendering her speechless. Unable to dispose of any more words or excuses. She doesn't say a word. She immediately rips her gaze from his and bows her head downward, allowing her curls to curtain around her face. Begging to be hidden from him.
You idiot!
He mentally scolded himself for having said the wrong thing yet again. He was thinking that maybe he did deserve that sudden outburst that unintentionally poured out of her merely seconds ago. After all, it was clear to him that dealing with people's emotions was definitely not his area of expertise. Maybe it was a good thing that he had decided to throw away the possibility of becoming a therapist. And Maui was certain that had he brought the idea up to those around him, there would've been a 90% chance that he would've been laughed at.
And right now, being in the current situation was proof of that.
At this point, there wasn't really much more he could say. No matter how much he wanted to be there for her. And seeing her body literally crumpling over only caused the aching in his heart to ebb. All he could do now really was just stare at her. The sounds of her sniffling, the sight of seeing her shoulders shaking gently with each tear that passed, instead of sitting there twiddling his thumbs and biting his lip in anticipation, all he could do really was to gather her small form up in his massive arms and hold her.
And so he does just that.
He obviously knew there was more to the story. There was definitely more that she was hiding from him. But he decides not to push her any further than she can handle.
For now, he just holds her. Letting her bury her face in his chest as she clings onto him desperately, sobbing, allowing all the hurt and sorrow she had been feeling to pour out of her so effortlessly. Her face is stained with tears, and Maui doesn't hesitate to press a few kisses to the crown of her head, and whisper in her ear that everything would be okay.
"Everything's gonna be okay…."
Everything's gonna be okay….
Even though deep down, they knew that things were not okay.
And Maui could only wonder what tomorrow would hold.
Some say that specific cases of a "mental breakdown" occurs after the physical and emotional demands on a person's life is so great, that it eventually prevents him or her from performing activities of daily living, or less strictly, or only when those demands prevent him/her from performing his or her familial or occupational duties.
However, others say that a breakdown can happen differently for every person that suffers one. Some will completely shut down and become an empty shell to the world, refusing to say one word, or so much as blink. While others can become a flailing wreck, hypersensitive to the slightest touch or sound. Not only that, but even the duration can be different for each person. For some, it can be over in minutes. While others could experience it for days, maybe even weeks, sometimes months.
Maui couldn't fall asleep. He had spent most the three hours staring up at the ceiling with the darkness engulfed around him. He lay flat on his back, both arms stretched outwards with barely even a single blink or subtle flinch. The first couple of minutes he had retreated to his bed, all he could do was toss and turn. But after giving up on finding rest, he settled for just looking blankly up at the ceiling, his mind unable to push past the events that had occurred a few hours prior.
Maui was never one to experience a 'mental breakdown'. Even if he had been carrying a massive load of stress on his shoulders, he was never usually one to show or tell people that he was stressed. He remembered that he would always put a smile on his face, even though deep down, he was aware that he would be drowning in his own pity.
But then again, the only kind of 'stress' that Maui had ever dealt with was the demands of his parents. Or the strict demands of his job. It wasn't exactly something that was small and easy to brush off, nor was it something that was incredibly horrendous. Looking back now however at the age of thirty-three, Maui could agree that these experiences are definitely something that could easily be fixable. Or so he would convince himself.
'I have breast cancer…..'
'I don't have much longer to live…..'
'And when I die….it won't matter anymore….'
Those words were like a melancholy tune echoing in his eardrums. Plaguing him like the deadly hollows. Of course, the last thing he needed was to discover that his roommate (possibly more than a friend?...girlfriend maybe?) was suffering from a physical illness. Not that he blamed her for all of this. This was simply something that for some reason, seemed to be out his control.
Sure, Maui had some relatives in his family that had suffered from diabetes, asthma, etc. But for as long as he lived, he would have to admit, that he has never ever in his life had to be around someone close to him who was suffering from cancer. Breast cancer more specifically.
He acted like such an idiot, or so he tried to convince himself. He had felt worthless, sitting there like a stump while his roommate was crying to him about how much this illness she's been suffering from had been affecting her daily routine. Not to mention, how much it was affecting her life.
'Everything's going to be okay….'
(Liar!)
He heaves a heavy breath, roughly tosses the covers aside and climbs out of the bed. Somehow through the dark sheet looming above, his gaze manages to find the glowing red numbers on his digital clock sitting beside him on the end table.
3:40am.
He groans. That was just great. It wasn't like he needed to wake up in two hours for another busy day of hustling. At this point, if he was going to sleep, then a glass of water would definitely do the trick. (At least he hoped it would).
So when his hand finds purchase on the knob, throws open the door and rounds the little corner towards the stairs, the last thing he expected to see was the small figure sitting at the top of the staircase. Her back towards him, elbows on her both her knees so her hands could support her heavy head and her dark locks shadowing around her face. Shoulders shaking, signalling that she had been sitting there crying for God knows how long.
Maui's breath hitched in his throat as his eyes scanned over her form. "Moana?"
She doesn't answer. And for some reason, just hearing her name on his lips had caused her to cry harder. Burying her face in her hands, not wanting him to see her.
He swallows. "Moana….what – what are you doing out here?" A sniffle. "Why aren't you in bed?"
She hesitates, a small hiccup. "I…." She mumbles a whisper. "…I c-couldn't…sleep…"
He takes a careful step closer towards her, his massive frame looming over her tiny one. He takes a deep breath, and gently squats down behind her, his hands softly found purchase on her small shoulders and he allows his thumbs to stroke the blades.
"Are you okay?" He whispers.
She shakes her head, though her crying seems to beginning to simmer down at the feel of his gentle touch. "….N-no….."
He chews on his lower lip, unable to produce any more words. He folds his legs underneath his bottom so that he's resting on his knee caps, hands still placed on her shoulders.
"Moana….what-"
He doesn't expect what came next. It happened in such a blur when the last thing he had expected her to do was to twist her body around fully and just throw herself into his arms. He's shocked at first as she wraps her tiny arms around his neck, buries her face in the crook of his neck and sobs into his shoulder. But then again, who the hell would be Maui if he were to deny her of the affection that she was desperately craving?
So he did what he could only do. Wrapping his own arms around her waist, one hand combing his fingers through her hair as he places a soft kiss against her ear. "Shh, it's okay." He coos.
Her voice was muffled against the massive layer of flesh. But he was able to make out just bits and pieces of the long sentence that strung out. "…..don't…..want…..alone….now…."
And he immediately understood. Of course she didn't want to be alone. (Idiot). Maui had to wonder how much of a narcissistic ass he could be in the span of eight hours. Of course he believed himself to be too much of letch to consider her feelings and what she needed.
"C-can I…stay w-with you?" She blurted through hiccups and tears.
His body immediately goes stiff. Breath hitches in his throat and his eyes open wider, adjusting to the darkness engulfed around them. Her words catching him off guard so suddenly that he had to blink twice for him to decipher if what he heard was valid. He gently peels her from his grasp so that his gaze is centered right on hers, holding her at arm's length. Even in the dark he was able to catch a glimpse of her appearance. Three forty in the morning, hair completely disheveled, face flushed and tear stained, eyes huge and pleading. Even when she was a mess, she was still beautiful, but with desperation and vulnerability etched onto her features. He takes his hand and gently uses his thumb to rub away the tears.
"What did you say?" He asks, his tone was gentle, laced with confusion.
She takes a deep breath. Another sniffle as she blinks once, and then another. Refusing to unwind her arms from around him. She bites her lip.
"…can I….stay with you?" She whispers, gaze pleading.
So clearly he surely wasn't just hearing weird things. He knew what he heard. He swallows, fearful of the question that's about to tumble out of his mouth.
"…s-stay with me…" Brows furrowed. "….i-in my…my room?"
She chews on her lower lip, having calmed enough to at least sit still, though the trembling still stayed and gives small nod.
The answer he had for the question was nowhere in sight, nor was it something that ever came to mind. He blinked once, and then another. Aware of the curious gaze that heavily weighed on his form, patiently waiting for their answer.
"Uhh..." Truth be told, he was hoping that her intentions wouldn't align with the rather erotic thoughts that were quick to make their appearance. "Moana….I…I don't think that's-"
"Please?"
"But…Moana…I…" A pause. "…I'm not sure if…that would be…appropriate-"
"W-what? N-no….I-I don't mean…." She's quick to cut him off, realizing what he might've been insinuating. "I don't mean….like that, Maui."
Maui couldn't resist the urge to blow out a heavy sigh in relief. The tension in his body relaxing his muscles. Much to his relief, her answer was what he needed to hear to reassure him that his thoughts were indeed wrong. But at the same time, Maui would be lying if he said that her words didn't leave him feeling slightly disappointed.
A shaky breath. "I just…." She pauses, her gaze searching his. "I….don't want to be alone right now."
He swallows.
"Please Maui…." Her tone soft, so soft, pleading with desperation that caused his insides to ache, and melt at the same time. "…Can I just stay with you?"
At this point, he doesn't know what to say. All he could do was just look into her eyes, heave a heavy sigh and contemplate on what his next move entailed. It was a simple 'yes' or 'no' question. Something that he easily could've responded to with the snap of two fingers. And a man like Maui, who was known to be a man of little patience and a man who was always usually quick with his answers, well, for some reason the 'old Maui seemed to be long gone. And for some reason this 'new' Maui was a person whom he had yet to discover.
But what was he supposed to say?
Here he was, sitting in the dark on top of the staircase holding his gorgeous roommate in his arms who was currently battling a severe illness that was threatening her life, asking (begging) him to let her stay the night with him. In his room. His room.
Those big, beautiful coffee brown eyes pooling with tears staring into his, patiently waiting for answer. What was he supposed to say?
He doesn't take his eyes off hers. And the last thing he did was swallow and open his mouth to speak.
"Feeling better?"
He asks gently as he hands her a glass of water. She takes a gulp and then places the glass on the end table next to her, shifting comfortably on the cozy mattress of his bed. In the darkness, the brown pearls blink.
"Yea." She smiles up at him. "Thank you Maui."
A small smile from him. "You're welcome."
She watches as he slowly rises from the foot of the bed, gaze glued to his massive silhouette moving about the room. Just as he reaches his side of the bed, she's disappointed to see as he takes his pillow and places it gently on the ground.
"Maui?"
He lifts his head to follow the sound of where her voice is coming from.
"What are you doing?"
He cocks a brow. "I'm moving my stuff."
"Why?"
He gives a small chuckle. "Why? I'm gonna sleep on the floor, that's why."
She blinks. "But…." A pause. "You don't…have to do that."
Another chuckle. "Then where else am I supposed to sleep?"
A deep breath. "You can….sleep in your bed…"
"But…you're already sleeping in my bed."
"…I know…"
Again, it didn't take long for those previous thoughts to come swirling about in his brain. Right away, he knew where she was getting at.
"Uh…." He scratches the back of his neck and lets a loose chuckle slip through his teeth. "Moana, I uh…I get that you're…trying to be kind and all…but-"
"I don't mind."
"Moana, I don't want to give you-"
"Again Maui, I'm not insinuating that." She sighs. "I don't want you to have to sleep on the floor." She studies his form. "You can sleep in your bed."
He's silent a long moment after that. Which to Maui, is odd and disconcerting. The offer was there. Flat out on the table just like that. No ifs, ands or buts. No objections. Because he is Maui Deeming, who the hell would he be really to turn down an offer as tempting as this one? But then again, because he was indeed Maui Deeming, as much as he's had absolutely no problem scoring women in the past, the respect that he had for the opposite gender was a characteristic he just couldn't seem to give up. And here he was, his beautiful roommate snuggled up in his bed, going as far as to actually offer him a place to sleep in his own bed.
With her.
The two of them in his bed together.
(Are you nuts dude?! Take the damn offer!)
But-
"Are….are you sure?"
He swallows as his ears perceive her words. "Yes."
Maui sucks in a breath, holds it, and then releases it slowly. His heart beating rapidly inside of his chest as he places the pillow back on his side of the bed and gently lowers himself onto the bed. The mattress sinks a bit with the amount of weight he's putting on it, and he's grateful that the darkness concealing them is able to shield the bright crimson rushing to the surface of his cheeks. He can feels her gaze boring into his as she watches him settle into the mattress. And once he's able to, he lets out an exhale, resting his head against his pillow, hands placed on his belly, fingers clasped together as he keeps his wide eyes trained on the ceiling looming above.
He doesn't take his eyes off the ceiling, and he can hear her shift. The sheets tugging and pulling and sliding, and Maui could've sworn that he feels the moment the flesh of her small feet brushing softly against his knee cap. She's laying on her side, facing him, and Maui has to do everything in his power not to give in and look into her eyes.
But he can't.
So after a few moments, he blows out a deep breath and finds himself mirroring her actions, shifting on his side. Their gazes locked on another's. Her hand is resting between them and again, he has to resist the urge to just grab it and place delicate kisses on her soft skin. Seeing the look in her eyes, told him that he had her full permission to just relax. If he was being honest, there were no signs of discomfort hidden on her features. In fact, she looks anything but. Almost as if she was….dare he say it….happy.
"Thank you, Maui." She whispers, breaking the silence. "..For letting me stay here, that is."
He gulps. "You're welcome."
And the next thing Maui finds himself doing, is reaching his large hand towards her face and brushing a strand of a loose lock out of her face and pushing it behind her ear. His thumb caressed her cheek so sweetly that he enjoyed hearing the soft moan that spilled from her lips as she melted into his warm touch. He doesn't make any effort to pull his hand away, watching as she places her hand over his and gently guides it closer to her mouth and places sweet kisses over his knuckles. The way her lips felt amongst his flesh increased the shivers to erupt in his body. Once she was finished and his hand was still in hers, he uses his thumb to trace the edges of her lips. Stroking and caressing.
Moana would be lying to herself if she said that his touch wasn't causing her to melt into him like ice cream on a warm porcelain bowl.
And it was the look that he was giving her. Staring into her soul. Almost like he knew her fears. Like he knew everything that her life consisted of. Like he knew her. And in his eyes was not just another man who would break her heart. In his eyes was his humanity, the person he really was. Sure, at the beginning there were times where it got lost, when he wears his suit, when he becomes the man that the world demands of him. But now as he sprawled on his bed with his curly hair all ruffled and the fatigue in his eyes present, there was that side of him. That same side when she had fainted in the forest and insisted on carrying her home without another word. That same side when he had found her cleaning vigorously in his room with the concern he had for her etched onto his features.
And it was that same side of him that deep down, Moana knew in her heart that she could trust him.
That she can trust him.
"My family," She begins with a horse whisper. "My mom, my dad, and my grandma," Another pause. "They're all….dead."
Maui looks at her. His eyes going wide as he blinks once, and then another. Clearly having not expected for those words to come out of her mouth.
"What?"
"My family, they've all passed away." She says again. "They're….not around anymore."
Another bout of silence fills him. Silent to the point where her words had rendered him speechless. And for a man like Maui, he was rarely ever speechless. But this time, he is. Marinating on her words and letting them sink in.
"How did they die?" Was all he could really ask at this point.
And almost instantly he regretted his choice in words, noting the way how she flinched.
"…From cancer."
He's quiet. Thinking that maybe it was best if he just kept his mouth shut and allow her the opportunity to fill in the gaps to all the blank questions he had.
"My grandma was the first to go." She whispers. "She developed breast cancer when I was eight. She had it for four years." A pause. "And then she died when I was twelve."
He swallows, allowing her to continue.
"My dad, he had lung cancer. Just after I entered my freshmen year of high school, he passed away three months later." A sniffle. "When I was fourteen."
He blinks, swallowing.
"Then I lost my mom when I was sixteen." Her bottom lip quivers and she chomps on it. "She had breast cancer as well." A shaky sigh. "So….I've been without parents ever since then."
Moana hadn't even realized that she had begun crying. Maui's thick fingers came to wipe away the tears that slid down her cheeks. It was all beginning to make sense. The thoughts she had previously expressed as to why she didn't believe she was going to survive much longer than he had tried to persuade her to believe.
Her entire family had passed away from cancer.
"Cancer runs in my family, I guess." She chokes out what attempted to be a chuckle, but instead was a choked sob. "My aunts and my uncles all passed away from some sort of cancer. Even….the ones that…." Another shaky breath. "…That came up here from Kohala...they've all passed away…."
She bites down on her lip. Her vision turning to a blur.
"A-and then soon….it will be….me…."
There was an immeasurable sadness that ebbed in the pit of his stomach. He couldn't find any words to say. He uses his hand to hold onto hers, and she doesn't hesitate to let him.
"I-I….I don't have much family left…."
As much as she tries to hold back the sob, the pain comes out like a silent uproar from her throat in the form of a silent, desolate wail. His other hand immediately finds her spine and he pulls her closer towards him, his fingers running a melody against every notch. He lets her sob quietly into his chest and for once, Maui himself has to resist the urge to join in with her. He bites down on his lower lip to prevent the tears that were pooling in his eyes to escape any second. He holds her close, cooing in her ear, whispering sweet nothings, and placing soft kisses on the crown of her head. Her fingers clutching his old grey t-shirt and her tears soaked through the fabric.
That was why she he had found her crying at the top of the staircase.
And it all made sense as to why everything had become so emotional. Maui could tell that Moana was a very fragile woman. Being alone in this house at the age of sixteen without a family could really take a toll on a person. And it would explain why she was so eager to get him to open up to her. She was lonely. She was vulnerable. And it seemed it had been forever since she was able to open up to a person and allow her vulnerability and sadness to seep out of her. She had needed comfort. She had needed a companion. And Maui was it.
Maui knew that from now on, he was everything that she needed.
She was able to calm down after a few moments, though she made no effort to detach from him anytime soon. So Maui, being the good man that he is, allowed the privilege to do so. And truth be told, Maui would be lying if he said that he wasn't enjoying having her wrapped in his arms with her head resting against his chest. He holds in the darkness, silence engulfing around them. And a question burned in his brain. He hesitates at first, but wastes no time in opening his mouth to speak.
"Moana?"
She shifts her head slightly to look up at him, blinking away the tears.
"How come you didn't tell me?"
She blinks. "W-what do you…mean?"
"I mean, about your parents." He pauses. "Your family. And….you." She flinches. "I mean…how come you didn't tell me sooner?"
Moana sucks in a deep breath, holds it, and then slowly lets it go. Her heart beats in time with some muffled electronic music that's playing far too loud at almost four o'clock in the morning on a weeknight. No doubt that her neighbors next door were most likely out of town and their teenage kids were throwing an overnight party in their parents' absence, strobing and thrumming. She was definitely going to have a word with the parents when they arrive back. But that was the least of her worries.
She swallows. "I….I was scared."
"Why?"
"Because," She pauses. "I….I didn't want you to….look at me different."
He sighs, a sad sigh. "Moana, why would you think that I would do that?"
"Because…a lot of people have…."
He frowns.
"And….I was scared that…you were going to…"
"You thought I was going to what?"
She's quiet, refusing to say more than she already has. And right away, her silence was all that Maui needed to confirm his answer.
He pinches her chin between his thumb and index finger to gently tilt her head to look up at him. The way how her bottom lip quivered and the glossy tears in her eyes what all the confirmation he needed.
"You thought I was going to leave you?"
She chews on her lower lip, and then nods.
Of course. It definitely wasn't easy for someone to deal with another person who was suffering from some sort of physical illness that was threatening the cost of their life. Maui hated to admit this, but part of him would understand as to why any other person would just leave another if that person was sick. The stress of having to deal with it all could easily provoke someone to have a nervous breakdown, even if they weren't the person that was ill. And typically, Maui wasn't one to stick around if something like this were to happen.
But this time, this time was different.
A woman like Moana, who was full of life and always seemed so positive and ready to offer her home to a complete stranger, it would be selfish of him not give back to her the way that she's given to him. But the question was how.
How was he supposed to help her?
"Moana," He pushes a strand of hair behind her ear. "Why would you think that I would just leave?"
She sniffles. "Because, it's….happened to me before."
He frowns. "Yea?"
She nods. "Yea." She lays her head down on his chest, plays notes on his pecks. "A man that…I was in love with before," A hesitation, and then she proceeds. "We um…we were in a relationship for two years…and then once he found out that I was sick," A pause. "He….he left me."
Maui was quiet at this. Hardly believing the words that his ears were perceiving. He runs his fingers through her hair, massaging her scalp.
"Why did he leave you?"
"My illness was too much for him to deal with." She mumbles, frowning at the thought. Recalling that nasty fallout that had taken place in this very house. "He left me….for another woman."
Maui's brow raised. "Did he really?"
She nods.
He scoffs at this. "You…you can't be serious."
"I am." Her head bobs, and she hates to admit it. "But….I found out….that he had been cheating on me with the same woman." She bites her lip. "That's why…it was so easy for him to just….get up and leave."
Maui finds his gaze stuck to the ceiling. The anger in his insides on the verge of boiling over. He inhales a sharp breath and exhales slowly. He needed to calm down. He really needed to. Especially since he never expected to speak the words that came out of his mouth next.
"Did you ever have sex with him?"
She lifts her head from his chest and looks at him. "What?"
(Idiot!)
"I said, did you ever have sex with him?"
He's not sure what had gotten into him. And judging by the look on her face, Moana doesn't seem to be so sure either. Truth be told, she's stunned at his question. And surprisingly, so is he. He wasn't like he meant to ask it. Heck, when it came to a person's sex life, that was the least of his worries.
Was he jealous?
Jealous at the thought of another man having touched her?
She hesitates at first, and then speaks. "I did." She confesses.
He keeps his gaze fixed on the ceiling. His eyes immediately clouding with hate. He didn't even know the guy and already, Maui hated him with a burning passion. He had earned her love and then he had taken for granted. He had gone as far as to put his hands all over her body, and he instead, he tossed her away like last week's left overs. He had touched her. His lips had been on hers. And then he had the nerve to fool around on her and leave her for another woman.
How he wanted to find this man and beat the living daylights out of him.
"But," Her voice broke through his thoughts. "I…I only ever had sex with him twice….throughout our whole relationship."
Only twice?
Two years? Only twice?
"He was the only man I ever dated." She whispers. "And the only man I…I've ever loved."
Maui swallows and forces himself to tear his gaze from the ceiling and to seek hers. It was sheer luck that at least he knew what it was like to have someone you once loved to break your heart. If anyone knew about broken hearts, Maui was definitely taking the winning trophy in that category. She rests her head against his chest, though her eyes are still on his.
"After him and I broke up, I haven't date since."
He sighs, a heavy sigh. "I know what it's like." He says. "To have your heart broken."
"Were you ever cheated on?"
She closes her mouth, regretting the words that slipped out. But surprisingly, he doesn't hesitate to respond. Nor did he seemed too bothered by her question.
"I was."
"I'm sorry."
"It is what it is."
"Were you in love with her?"
"Yea, I was. Very much so."
She looks at him, biting her lip. "Did you…ever date after that?"
He shrugs, playing notes down her spine. "I did here and there. Didn't really mean much."
She sighs. "Well, I'm sure you've had more of a sex life than I've had." She lets out what sounds like a chuckle, though it lacked humor, laced with sadness.
He cocks a brow. "What do you mean by that?"
"Ever since I found out I was sick and after he and I split up," A pause. "I've often found myself straying away from having relationships with men."
"Really?"
"Yea." There's sadness in her tone. "I haven't had much of an….intimate life." She whispers. "Nothing's ever been the same…ever since I got sick."
And it was something about her last statement that immediately got Maui pondering over it. Yes, she was in a vulnerable state. Yes, she needed companionship. And yet, the one thing she seemed to be lacking was intimacy. Whether it was emotional, or physical. Especially a bright young woman like her – gorgeous, has everything going for her, lives in a beautiful home – lacking an intimate life? Even Maui found it hard to believe that a beautiful twenty-five year old woman didn't participate in the average sex life that a thirty year old would.
He wasn't sure what came over him. One minute, they were gazing into each other's eyes. And the next, Maui finds himself pulling her closer towards him, his mouth finding hers as they crash together. He was kissing her. And she was kissing him back just as hard. It was obvious that they had past the first stages of kissing. And they had immediately skipped to intermediate level; their mouths meshing together with so much hunger and passion, but yet so sweetly. His tongue nibbled on her lower lip, begging for entrance, which she was gracious enough to grant his request. His tongue found hers, both wrestling for dominance, and she moans and whimpers into his mouth at how rough, yet gentle he was being with her.
Her fingers clawing at his shirt, his arms wrapped around her waist, not wanting to let her go. And it was the first time in three years where Moana had felt a man's passion mold together with hers. He gently breaks the kiss, the both of them catching their breaths, his forehead resting against hers. And Maui confirmed to himself that the kiss he had given her was his way of telling her that he wasn't going anywhere.
He was staying.
And there was no turning back.
He places a kiss amongst her forehead, caressing her cheeks so gently.
"I'm not going anywhere, Moana." He tells her, and he's honest. "I'm staying."
She tries to blink back the tears that wanted to escape. His thumb was quick to wipe it away. "R-really?"
"Yes." And he kiss her again. "I'm staying." A kiss to the tip of her nose. "For as long as you need me."
Her heart beats in her chest. Feeling nothing more than protection and honesty. Which is exactly what she needed. What she had craved for her whole life since her parents had passed away. She pulls herself closer until there's nothing left between them. And she doesn't hesitate to reward him with another kiss. She rests her head against his chest, his fingers playing with her hair. And he relaxes into the mattress of the bed and sighs a content sigh.
"Thank you, Maui."
A smile plays at his lips. "You're welcome, Moana."
With nothing but the warmth that both their bodies offered one another, the sleep pooled in their eye-lids, and the blackness comes over them both. Like a blanket. For Moana, it wasn't like a blanket of loneliness that made her shiver at night like always, but a blanket of warmth. Her eyes growing heavier and heavier. And for the first time in her life, she closes her eyes and is finally sent into dreamless, and peaceful sleep.
All of the worries she had bottled up evaporating into the dark sheet surrounding the both of them.
I apologize for the delay! I know this chapter is a little bit short, but I wanted to dedicate this chapter specifically to the development of Maui and Moana's relationship. And also, I've just started back up in school and it has taken up a lot of time! I can't promise when the next update will be but I hope you all stay with me! Until next chapter my lovelies...
