"We heard everything, you realize."
I started in surprise, nearly spilling my not-chocolate all over the nav station. Yes, I was there again, pondering over all the teachings, bruises, pains, aches, plots for revenge (like, say, filling Veers's oxygen line with helium and listening to him prattle on in a high pitched voice) and bad memories that Veers had slung my way. Our little screaming match yesterday had been the tip of the iceberg, and he'd seen fit to drill away at my emotional vault until he'd cracked that bad boy wide open, spilling my insecurities across the floor as if they were tarnished coins. He was currently back in medical, examining the handful of "coins" he'd scoped up today to see where he could improve them.
Funny, he'd accused me of being a collector of should-have-been dead men, while he was the one collecting and greedily appraising my emotional treasures. I made a mental note to throw that at him next time we spoke. You know, after I finished my discipline, target practice and recitation of every salient fact from his last lecture (urgh. Maybe the helium thing wasn't such a hot idea after all. Imagine trying to recite all those high-pitched facts without bursting out laughing). Then, maybe, I'd have the wherewithal to hurl insults at him.
Maybe. I had to decide if the vindication of calling him names (or, did I mention helium?) was worth the punishment that would follow. Currently, my arms were voting "no" on the whole idea. I could barely do anything more than lift this mug to my lips after holding my blaster in firing position for hours while listening to the day's lecture on the merits of covert attacks versus frontal assaults.
Like I was ever going to need any of that to begin with. Regardless, it could have been worse, what with all the names I'd called him yesterday. Frankly, I was amazed he was still talking to me.
"Heard everything what?" I asked, swiveling in the chair to face her.
She gracefully folded herself into the chair across from me, a somewhat sad smile on her face. "Your argument with the General yesterday."
I winced. "Define the words 'everything' and 'we.'"
Leia's small smile was both amused and sad at the same time. "The 'we' includes me, Han and Chewie. The 'everything' encompasses your words from feeling relief that it wasn't your fault our planet was destroyed and concluding with his dismissal of you afterwards."
There had been a hitch in her voice when she'd said 'our planet,' tears hidden beneath the need to be so strong for everyone. Talk about taking someone for granted. There I was all upset about my world being gone, and just assuming Leia was strong like she had been in the movies and books. Too strong to mourn when there was work to be done. Never realizing how much it was killing her inside. I was supposed to be her sister, if I was to take everyone's stupid advice and just accept that this was my reality now. Some sister I'd been.
I reached a hand out, felt her fingers twine with mine. Our eyes met, and somewhere in that swirling darkness that Lord Hater had created, I saw the real Leia. We had a moment where we connected, where we both mourned for the worlds we couldn't have anymore.
"Love you, sis," I whispered.
"Love you, too," she whispered back.
And meant it. Screw me, I needed to tell her the truth something fierce. I just… dunno, didn't want to? Didn't want to see her fall apart? Could the rebellion—scratch that, could the movie plot—hold together if she decided she was too compromised to continue?
I dropped my hand and my courage, sipping at my not-chocolate. "So what kept Han from burning Veers to ash?"
She glanced back, blinking away the unshed tears. "I'm sorry?"
"You know, when it was clear the two of us were trying to outshout each other? What kept Han from killing the man?"
"You mean aside from the fact that he's a valuable prisoner and we're still hiding from a large Imperial Fleet?"
I smirked at her smirk. "Yeah, aside from that. We both know that Han Solo doesn't deal in slaves, kidnapping, or prisoners. That isn't his style. But dropping a dumbass that threatened his peeps? That's way in his comfort zone, sugar. Just ask Greedo. So what kept him from killing Veers?"
She shrugged a shoulder. "A combination of things, I suppose. That man has more complex layers than I've ever seen," she shook her head. "I never really asked him why he just stood there, blaster in hand."
"Then let me ask you this. Why didn't you burst into medical to break us up?"
"Would you hate me if I said he had a valid point?"
"Probably just a little. But only because I hate it when you are right. It usually means I was wrong, and I hate being wrong."
"He seemed to be the only one to get through to you," she admitted, gazing down at her black thigh high boots with their slightly pointed heel. "Rori, I never took the time to consider how you felt about losing our home. The last time you were there…. You were so angry. You and Dad fighting, and mom crying. And then you just stormed away. I never told you how much it killed him inside when he realized you'd left the planet the next day. And by the time we realized where you had gone—"
"I was already sleeping with Lord Thrass," I finished, looking away. Yup, that was all Aurora's fake memories, courtesy of Lord Hater and his brain fuckery. "Lei—"
"He loved you," she said on top of me. "He honestly and truly loved you. Which is why he wouldn't want you punishing yourself for his death."
I wanted to bang my head into the nav panel until I either passed out or all this crap started to make sense. Either way, I'd be finished with the pain. "I appreciate the words, Lei. I really do. But you have to understand something. I knew it was going to happen. Just as I know there's something dark inside you that—"
She lifted a hand, shaking her head. "No, don't tell me. I know that a dark future waits. I know that I may very well die before we can overthrow the Emperor. That's all a given. "
Back to the not-chocolate my eyes went, suddenly wishing for a bottle of whipped vodka to add to it. Because I was going to need a stiff drink in a minute. Because this had gone on long enough. I had to tell her the truth. I just couldn't keep doing this anymore.
"Lei."
"Yes?"
I looked into her open face, saw the yearning for this very thing, this kind of personal connection with someone she thought she loved. And knew that the anticipation was real, the wanting was real and not something that Vader had manifested. This kind of look belonged between her and Luke, not her and me. And as much as it killed me to do it, I had to tell the truth.
"What if I told you I had a really nasty secret," I swallowed hard. "One that would destroy this thing we got between us now. Would you want to know it? Would you want to know the truth?"
Her lips firmed, considering the question. "No," she said at last.
Well wasn't that he exact opposite of what I'd expected. "Uh, come again?"
"No, I don't want to know," she reached out and took my hand again, squeezing firmly. "This is all I need to know. This. You and me, talking again. You and me, making things work. You got Han and I back together, and for that I can forgive you the worst secret imaginable. You… you saved me with that act. No, no, hear me out. It's my turn to talk," she laughed gently, forestalling the babbling stream of you've-got-to-be-shitting-me's that tried to vomit its way out of my mouth. "I was becoming lost in this war, just like Han said. I was letting it consume me, and because of that, I was becoming just as dark as the things that we fight. Han's… grounded me, in a sense. Made me remember just what I'm fighting for, and what I could become if I ever forgot that again. So no, I don't need to know whatever it is you think is so dark. You saved me. And that's all that matters."
If Mohammed Ali had come from behind and turned my head into a speedbag, I wouldn't have been more surprised than now. I could almost hear Vader laughing in the back of my mind, pointing and laughing like a school bully who'd thrown his milk all over my face. Haha, he seemed to say. Thought of this before you did! You lose, Loser McLoserville!
Well, two could play at that game. How 'bout a little Milk of Human (kindness) Honesty right back at you, Vaderkins!
"Lei, I'm not your s—"
"Sssush!" she hissed, eyes on the forward viewport. "Did you hear something?"
"What? No, Leia, I'm trying to explain the most destructive secret to ever rock your wor—okay, the second most destructive secret to ever rock your worl—okay maybe the third or the fourth," If, you know, you count the revelation of who her father is, and who her twin brother is, and then finding that holocron eventually on Tatooine that her grandmother created, and the destruction of her home planet… "Look, regardless of whatever level this is going to register on the 'Crap That Totally Ruined Leia's Happy World-o-meter,' I have got to tell you that I'm not—"
She got up, peered through the viewport. "Rori, did you see that?"
"See what?" I snapped irritably. "Unless it's a flier for a Converse shoe sale, I'm really not interested…"
And then I remembered. Mynocks. Living in the worm-creature like tapeworms. Like energy eating-hard-vacuum-chewing-flying tapeworms. And Leia was supposed to be in this cockpit by herself doing all that self-speculation garbage instead of me. Wrong princess in the right place at the right time counted for something, right?
"Lei, you might want to get away from the window—"
The ugly thing appeared out of nowhere, attaching itself to the front viewport with a suction cup for a mouth and protruding eye-stalks that reminded me of Jar-Jar Binks. That made me scream. Not because Leia had just screamed in surprise, but the horror that Binks had been created in the first placed returned as if it was a Vietnam flashback and I was a veteran with PTSD. Not-chocolate went everywhere, and we were scrambling down the hallway, screaming like we had Bieber-Fever and someone had just put a fresh rack of Justin T-shirts in our path.
An arm snaked around my waist before I could follow Leia into the lounge, yanking me off my feet and into a brick wall of a chest that shouldn't be out of medbay right now. Seriously, how the hell did Veers get there so fast? Did he teleport? Was he part of some secret superhero program now, having been bitten by a radioactive…err… snowball or something when that walker exploded? Errr… maybe not that. The Invincible Snow Man sounded more useless than Aqua Man (Sharknado, bitches!).
"Seriously, did you just teleport? How the freak did you make it here so fast? Admit it, you moonlight as the Flash," I accused. "Bet you already have a Justice League decoder ring, don't you, and you've been holding out on me. Some teacher you are."
I let him draw me back into the shadows of the hall though, fighting not to tell him to take his arm off of me. Don't kid yourself, folks. He wasn't stopping me out of any real concern. Well, maybe a tiny bit of concern but it wasn't personal. No, this was all so he could get his hand in range of the blaster I wore at my thigh. All without contracting a very nasty case of Han's-foot-up-his-ass-itis for even dreaming of touching a weapon on his beloved ship.
"There's something out there," Leia cried, rushing over to Han.
"What?!" Han growled, shoving his welding glasses into his hair.
"Out there," Leia continued breathily, nodding her head towards the cockpit. "In the cave."
A sharp banging on the outer hull underscored that statement, so much so that Veers's hand twitched towards the blaster, and Chewie let out a growl of concern.
"There it is!" Threepio wailed. "Whatever it is sounds like it's trying to get in!"
Yeah, Veers's hand was gripping that blaster now, meaning he was draped around me like Veers Mink Coat. That hand had moved from my waist to up across my shoulders, pressing me back further into the shadows. And I realized he was leading me away from the others. Which meant he was about to do something all noble and crap like lock me in a closet and go out there to face the Big Bad in his wounded state.
Screw. That.
I'd feel bad about it later, probably at Veers's own hand, but I did put that elbow into his chest. As my fav TV spy, Michael Westen once said, no matter how powerful or strong a man, you shove him in a broken rib and he's going to fall like a two-year old. Or something like that.
Veers crumbled forward, and I barely made it out of his reach. I burst into the common room, eyes wide. "You… uh… all hear that? Sounds dangerous and we should all, uh, leave now. Kay?"
Han rolled his eyes. "Really, dangerous you say? Thank you for those wonderful powers of observation you have, Your Unholy Worship," he stomped towards a board displaying all sorts of masks. Tapping a key on the sensor above them to check the outside pressure. Then selecting a simple breather. Chewie did the same.
"What are you doing?" Leia demanded.
"I just got this ship back together," He growled. "I'm not going to let something tear it apart!"
"Then we're coming with you," Leia snapped back… and grabbed my arm.
"'We?'" I gasped. "Wait, shouldn't you—"
"You're armed, I'm not," Leia pointed out. "And I'm not letting you go out there alone. To add to what Han said, I just got my sister back. I'm not going to let something tear us apart again."
She shoved a breather in my hands and dragged me towards the landing ramp. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Veers climbing to his feet, the look on his face less than friendly. The look that said if I had been one of his officers, I'd be facing a career of brig cleaning, or potato peeling or whatever kind of nasty duty he could think up. After he'd had my hide flayed clean from my bones. My apologetic shrug only intensified his glower.
"I didn't save you to let you die protecting me," I yelled in his direction. "You know this is the better option, so deal with it. That's an order!"
The glower stayed, but a glint in those eyes let me know that he agreed, that he was somewhat amused, and that neither of those things were going to save me once he got his Imperial hands around my throat. I meeped. And in case you are wondering, a meep is the sound you make when you want to pull a Samuel L. Jackson and say "mutha F'er" repeatedly, but you're so frightened only the "Muh" sounds makes it past your lips in a sort of squeaky way.
As far as intestinal tracks of gigantic space worms went, this wasn't too terribly bad. For one thing it was cold, very cold. So there wasn't the smell of digestion or rotting meat anywhere. For another, there was no acid trying to digest us, so no screaming painful death was involved. Another plus. All in all, this place was getting a higher Vacation rating from me that then Death Star. Not being forced into screaming torment tended to add to ratings in my book. Call it a quirk.
And believe it or not, for once I was glad that I didn't have Converse on my feet. The thought of putting my babies into worm guts was just… no.
"This ground sure feels strange," Leia was saying, stepping gingerly from the ramp. Then turning to grab my arm and yank me down. My fingers clawed at the landing support. Converse or no, I did not want to step on worm guts. Leia won, mostly because the landing ramp was tilted oddly and I had crap for balance. I slid down into the wormy bits. "It doesn't feel like rock."
"There's a lot of moisture in here," Han murmured.
"I don't like this," Leia said.
I stood by the landing ramp, trying not to think about what part of the intestines I was stepping on. Pondering how to light these boots on fire afterwards without setting off some emergency alarm on the 'Falcon. Maybe I could have Veers glare at them. That would be enough to set them ablaze…
"LOOK OUT!" Han screamed, firing his blaster—
—and I was beaned with a dead mynock, right onto the crown of my head! I went down before I knew it, landing—you guessed it!—face-first on worm guts. Cold, hard, rock-like-ish worm guts.
"Rori!" Leia screamed.
"Rori!" Han screamed.
"She's alright," Veers interjected, grabbing the back of my tunic and hauling me upright.
All this before I'd had time to draw the breath to scream that I had, indeed, face-planted gigantic space worm guts.
"Oh god oh god ohgodohgodohgod!" I hyperventilallted. "Water! I need water! No, I need acid. Not the trippy kind but the flesh melty kind, pronto! I need someone to rip out my tongue and bathe it in bleach! I think it's in my mouth!"
"Yes, your tongue would be in your mouth, your Highness," Veers remarked. "As much as we would all enjoy the silence that came from ripping out your tongue and bathing it in acid, I doubt very highly you would enjoy the experience. Be reasonable for once in your life and realize the breather kept you from tasting anything."
"What was that thing?" Leia gasped, staring down at the burnt carcass that had tried to be my new hat.
"Mythnoth," I answered, shoving a finger into the space between my mouth and the breather, rubbing it over my tongue and mouth in an effort to save myself.
Whether or not Veers was correct and I hadn't French-kissed Giant Space Worm digestive track, I was still going to gargle with something strong. Just in case. Since Veers was actively ignoring my attempts to remove his hand from the back of my tunic and dash for the nearest liquid anything to gargle. Good god, worm intestines! I'd pseudo-kissed worm intestines! I was going to be sick.
"A what?" Leia asked.
"Mynock," Han translated. "Chewie, check the ship for more, will you? It was chewing on the power lines."
"A mynock," she echoed, frowning behind her breather. "You think there are more?"
"They always travel in groups," Veers answered, earning a rather begrudging nod of agreement from Han.
He stepped off the landing ramp, dragging me with him. Up close against him, like a second skin. Presumably to keep me from bolting and to also remain upright in his weak state. But then I noticed it wasn't his gun hand, his dominant hand that had grabbed me. No, it was his offhand again. Because his dominant hand was gripping my blaster down at his side, hidden between our pressed hips.
He'd turned me into a living shield. A worm-intestine-kissing- living shield!
"I hateth youth righth nowth," I said around my fingers. Yes, still trying to scrape my tongue. You would be, too!
"Quiet."
"Nu-uh!" I shook my head, nearly biting my finger in the process. "Lookth oveth thereth! They'reth heeerreee…."
A black mass whirled towards us, all leathery wings and bobbing eyestalks and wannabe Jar-Jar ugliness! Leia screamed. I screamed… more because Veers had kicked my legs out from under me and sent me sprawling back to the worm intestine-ground-stuff. Landing beside me, bending over me to protect my head. Which pressed my face that much closer to the intestines! I shrieked again.
Payback. This had to be karmic payback for all those Veers fanfics I'd ever written about him saving some innocent woman, falling in love with her and then joining the rebellion with his son. That's what this was. Pure, utter karmic payback for daring to write Rebel fic when I was an Imperial girl. Lady Fate and I were going to go rounds over all this when I got back home!
And then the good General, the innocent man that had no idea what he'd start if he did it, fired at that mass of mynockness… and missed one. The entire world tilted then, so much so that we were all rolling around on hands and knees in the digestive track for a moment. The worm obviously experiencing the worst case of heartburn known to wormkind, and probably fumbling on its nightstand for a ginormous bottle of Tums.
"Wait a second," Han snarled when everything settled back down. "Wait a second…"
"NO!" I screamed.
But Han shot first (Ha!), and that worm had apparently had enough. It was reaching for the Rolaids now, and that meant nothing but bad things for us. Veers was moving quickly, hauling me to my feet and making tracks towards the Falcon. Leia and Han were one step ahead of us, and inside the ship we could hear Threepio having a full on girlie meltdown.
"Strap in!" Han bellowed. "We're taking off!"
"In this asteroid field?" Leia bellow back in disbelief. "The Imperials are still out there—"
"No time to discuss this in committee!"
"I'm not a committee!" Leia and I screamed in unison. Her actually answering and me chiming in because, well, I was usually the one being called a committee.
I thought Veers was going to take us back to med bay, maybe tie me to a bed and proceed to dress me down for everything I'd done wrong. Following that up with a lecture on what I should do right. And following that up with something seemingly inconsequential, like holding out my hand to him, but would turn into me doing that for hours and hours and ending in more pain than holding out a hand should in any galaxy.
Nope, today wasn't my day at the crystal ball. All my predictions came up snake eyes. Oh, wait, that was poker, wasn't it? Or craps? Whatever. It was still true. This sucked, and that was the simple truth.
He hauled us to the cockpit on Han's heels, tossing me into the Nav seat and taking the copilot's place. "Engine power climbing," he said calmly, running the pre-flight sequence. "Take off in T-minus one minute."
For once Han didn't argue. He just slid into the Captain's chair and started punching his own buttons. Behind us came a rather displeased gurgle/roar. "No now, Chewie," Han growled. "Once we get out of this thing, the Imps are going to be all over us. I need you on the guns. The General can handle things up here."
Stomping of huge hairy feet was the only answer given. Which almost drown out Leia's gasp. "What do you mean, 'thing?' This is a cave, right?"
"Not entirely, Your Highness," Veers replied.
"What does that mean?" she snapped.
"It means sit down and strap in, sweetheart," Han added. "This is going to get interesting."
"Define interesting?" I couldn't help but ask. It was the firefly nut in me. So long as no one compared themselves to leaves on the wind.
My answer was another gasp from Leia. "The cave is collapsing!"
"This is no cave."
"What?" she stared at Han.
Which was kind of sad, given that she missed part of the show. The stalactites decorating the entrance to the cave were closing in on us with a smooth precision that sure wasn't the product of Imperial bombing. No pieces of shattered ceiling fell on us, no uneven descent of the needle-like rocky protrusions as the top came down. Nothing but the smooth muscle movements of a creature that masticated with regularity.
No one bothered to answer her. I think she picked up on what was going on without a power point presentation around the time Han and Veers tipped the Falcon on its side and blasted us between the teeth like we were plaque escaping the dentist's scraper thing. That didn't stop the worm from trying to swallow us again, though. The long grey length of it poked out of that tunnel for a last ditch effort to recapture its spicy meal, heartburn and all.
It missed. Thank the stars for that!
Or so I had thought, preparing for my little victory dance entitled In-your-face-worm-boy, feeling like it was okay to celebrate one little victory, when my comlink went off. It chirped at me like a rather excited baby bird. And apparently it did it twice before Leia reached over and touched my shoulder.
"You going to answer that?"
"Answer what?"
"Your comlink."
"I don't have a comlink since General Grabby McStealeverything over there stole mine on Hoth when I was his pris—oh, right. I do have one. Rido gave it to me. Presumably so he can yell at me from a distance when he isn't there to yell at me face to face and—"
"Rori," Han glared at me through the viewport reflection. "Shut up or shut down. Some of us are trying to save lives here."
"Thank you, Captain Solo," Veers added.
"Who would be calling you?" Leia asked, staring at the comm. in my hand as if it were suddenly the most dangerous thing in the galaxy. "Who would be in close enough range to call you if not Rido?"
Everyone paused—well Leia and I paused with dread. Han and Veers kept dodging asteroids, their efforts punctuated by laser fire outside the canopy. Chewie gleefully clearing a path for us to get out of the field in one piece. That, and I'm sure letting off some steam over the fact that an Imperial was sitting in his seat right now.
"Should I answer?" I asked her.
"I think you should."
I flicked a thumb over the on/off switch. "Thank you for calling Princess Aurora," I began in my best canned voice. "Sorry she's not here to take your call right now, but if you leave a message at the sound of the—"
"Amusing," Thrass's voice drifted almost musically from the tiny speaker. "They have yet to inform you that most comlinks are coded to the specific user, I take it? Meaning it would not activate unless you were physically touching the control."
"Fuck," I whispered, covering the speaker bit with my thumb. "Is there a block feature on this thing? Can I program it not to allow certain calls to come through?"
"Covering the speaker does not cover the microphone, Your Highness," He replied, and I swore to all that was holy he was grinning. I could just hear it in his condescending arrogant voice. The jackhole.
"No, but it helps me imagine what it would be like to squish your tiny head like the—"
I could tell that Veers was indeed a parent. Just somehow, against all the laws of physics in any galaxy ever, his hand managed to flash out and slap my arm rather tersely. Then somehow make it back to his copilot board without missing a beat. I stared at him incredulously for a long moment. So much so that even Thrass got antsy.
"Your Highness?" He asked, an itty bitty bit of concern weaving through all that smugness.
"Yeah, I'm here," I growled. "Just being reminded by someone that using the kind of language I want to use right now isn't the way my mother raised me to act."
"You will, of course, extend my heartfelt gratitude to your companion for that."
"You will, of course, kiss my—" I dodged another attempt from Veers to swat at me like a parent aiming blindly at kids in the backseat while driving. "What do you want, Thrass? Finally coming to tell me that your Loki fanclub card came in the mail? Or that your application to Jackholes United has finally been accepted?"
For once I couldn't hear the seething anger coming from his end. Normally it was there, even if he didn't understand the references. The man was that good with reading tone and junk. "It is neither," he replied, still sounding smug. "I'm merely holding to my part of our agreement. We have a conversation to finish."
"No we don't. I told you off, remember? Broke up with you? Gave you your pink slip? Walking papers? Does any of this ring a bell?"
"I was not finished with the conversation."
"But I was. That's why I hung up on your dumbass. Though I have to say hanging up on people was a lot more dramatic when you had something to slam like a good solid phone. Jabbing a button viciously just seems lame in comparison."
"Believe what you wish, Your Highness, until experience teaches you otherwise."
I didn't like the way he said that. Who was I kidding, I didn't like anything he had to say. But especially that. And I really did wish I had a good solid old fashioned rotary phone receiver in my hand. The kind that made the ringing sound when you slammed it down hard enough? Yeah, that would be epic right about now. Because all I had in my hand was slender tube about as big around as my thumb and about as long. No weight to it.
Not even worth throwing.
"Done with you," I shrilled. "Stop calling me, or so help me I'm getting a restraining order. And a guard dog. A guard dog with its OWN restraining order. And guns. Lots of guns. Did I mention the guns? And sharks with freaking lasers. Space sharks with—"
"You can have whatever you like once you are safely back in Imperial hands where you belong."
This time it was my turn to be all smug. We were still in the heart of the asteroid field, and I felt like Buttercup from Princess Bride, all safely nestled in the Fire Swamp. "Well, if you want to swing by and visit, please feel free. The asteroids are warm and cozy this time of year. And we just met the most charming giant worm thing. Maybe it'll rent out its insides for you this time."
"As appealing as that sounds, I will pass. We have you in our sights now, Your Highness. It won't be long."
"Han!" Leia shouted.
"I see them! I see them!"
I looked up, and shrieked a little, myself. Three star destroyers. THREE! When there should have only been one. Just Captain Needa's ship. Now… now we were really in the shit.
"Guess which one I'm on?" Thrass said innocently, darkly. "Oh, and for the record, you've lost, Your Highness. Have the grace to admit it and move the fuck on. No one likes a sore loser."
I changed my mind and threw the comlink down the hall.
