In Love and War
Chapter 12 – Lonar and Hannah
Shepard got up early the next morning to get ready for another full day's schedule on the Citadel. First she had to go undercover to help C-Sec bust an illegal weapons smuggling ring, and since they'd be in the neighborhood, she took Tali and Ashley to shop for some tech and armor mods.
The lower markets were already bustling when they got there. With ships docking at the Citadel at all hours, the markets never closed and they were always busy. Shepard let Tali and Ashley browse the kiosks while she leaned on the crates near an entrance to keep an eye on both lower level entrances to the market. She was still a little early to meet the weapons dealers, so she waited while watching Tali waving her hands and talking to a merchant. An old turian with a thin visor smeared with scratches and grease wandered toward her direction. She gave him a glare, judging from the look this wasn't the one she was supposed to meet with.
"If you are looking for new armor for cheap, I've got some great pieces for a tenth of the price you will pay here." The turian seemed to have finally mustered up enough courage to talk to Shepard. Shepard surveyed the turian's own armor, rusty with patched holes, but his weapon looked to be in decent shape.
She shook her head. "I don't think so."
The turian didn't give up, "How about some weapons?" He coughed, hunching a little. "I've got some newest prototypes that nobody has seen before. I don't usually offer that to just anyone, but you look like someone special." He coughed one more time.
Shepard looked at her friends who were engrossed in the product demos the merchants were giving them, and she checked the chrono. Seeing it was time for her to look for the weapons dealers, she pulled out a credit chit, "Look, I'm busy and I don't need any new armor or weapons. How about I give you a few credits and you leave me alone?"
In the corner of her eye, she saw a salarian giving the old turian a slight nod. The turian grabbed Shepard's arm, "Commander, please come with me."
Shepard's hand was now on the grip of her pistol, "Who are you?"
"Our mutual friend, Vakarian, mentioned you were looking for me." He still talked in a rugged voice, "I need you to wait for a couple of more minutes before making contact with your weapons dealers."
"You're the turian Spectre that Garrus contacted?"
Without another word, the turian pulled her behind the crates and he limped back a few steps. He waited for a few minutes, and when the salarian nodded to him again, he came back to Shepard. "Commander, you're clear to make contact with the scum. Come out of the market to the west side after and we can talk." With that, he limped away with a hunched back.
Shepard finished her undercover work and noticed the salarian wasn't there anymore. When she got to the spot the turian indicated, she saw the old turian standing behind a structural pillar in an alcove. She hurried over. The turian saw her coming, he took off his visor and an old ragged hood that covered only half of his head, and straightened his shoulders. His voice changed to a much younger and clear tone. "Commander Shepard, Lonar Maerun of Special Tactics and Recon at your service." Shepard extended her hand astounded by the change.
"Forgive the theatric, Commander. I've got my own mission. Not as famous and glamorous as yours of course. It requires certain anonymity." The turian said warmly.
"So you are saying I'm the only one with a bull's eye on my back?" Shepard thought for a moment, other than Nihlus, Saren and the turian in front of her, she didn't know any other Spectre operatives.
"Pretty much. The price to pay for being the first." The turian gave her a small smile. "We don't get on the news unless we screw up." His cocky expression gave Shepard the feeling that whoever this guy was chasing should find another galaxy to hide in. He checked his surroundings first, and then he took out an OSD and handed it to Shepard. "You do a lot of shooting and I do a lot of number crunching. I keep track of questionable corporations' financial numbers, their practices, trading partners and everything else I can dig up. Corporations like Binary Helix, Sonax Industries and others." He pointed at the OSD in Shepard's hand, "Before I bore you to death, the OSD has Saren's schedules at shareholders' functions and other tentative schedules. If there are any changes, I will get in touch with Garrus."
Shepard looked at the datapad, amazed to see all the details about Saren's finances and his whereabouts in the past, even more so looking at his future appointments. "Spectre, this is exactly what I need! I'll put this to good use. Saren will pay for what he did. And Maerun, I owe you one."
"I wish you luck, Commander!" The turian Spectre didn't waste any time. He put on his old visor and hood, and went back to his hunched posture. "You've already helped me. C-Sec can bust the weapons dealers, but we want to trace the manufacturers. My salarian partner traced the call those idiots made when you showed up just a little late." He smiled again smugly, "You didn't think I came all the way back to the Citadel from the Terminus Systems just for you, did you?"
"Course not. I wouldn't dream of that kind of special treatment." She smiled back.
The turian signaled Shepard to follow him, "Give me a little shove, would you?" They walked out of the alcove from behind the column. The turian started talking nonsense to Shepard again. The Commander gave him a light shove and applaused the turian silently for the staged hard fall to the floor.
Nodding to her crew to join her, Shepard had almost a joyful smile on her face. I've got to remember to buy Garrus another bottle of that turian wine he's so fond of.
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Hannah Shepard was holding two shopping bags as she approached her daughter outside of their favorite restaurant on the Citadel. When she saw her daughter poking at her omni-tool while waiting for her arrival, a big smile spread on her face. "Sorry I'm a little late, Honey." She gave Shepard a kiss on each cheek as her daughter took the shopping bags from her.
"What are all these, mom?"
They walked into the restaurant where they had made reservation for dinner. "Oh, you mentioned your asari friend needed some clothes. I went shopping to kill time after the Kilimanjaro got in. Since I was getting you some new shirts and pants, I thought I'd get her some clothes too. You described how she looked, I took a guess at her size."
Shepard updated her mother about her mission and the challenges she faced, but what she really wanted to talk about was Liara. She had told Hannah over a holocall about meeting Liara on Therum and that led to the elder Shepard pitching in with shopping chores. When Shepard recounted the Terra Firma incident, her eyes became intense and her voice tight. "I got so angry when I saw those idiots insulting Liara." She took sip of her water. "When they threatened to hurt her, I was ready to take out my pistol and shoot every single one of them. I know I should be calm and I'm the first human Spectre and an Alliance Commander. I shouldn't have been rattled like that." She shook her head but still felt her temper rising at the unpleasant memory.
"Sweetie, you are also a human, Spectre or not, Commander or not. You see someone you care about being threatened, your first reaction is to protect them. Nothing wrong with that." Hannah put a calming hand on Shepard's. "It sounds like you do care a lot about this asari." Hannah had a nice smile on her face, remembering another old story of her daughter's - some things never changed. "Remember when you were in high school, you beat up a couple of bullies who picked on Felicia? You earned the scar above your left eye in that fight."
Shepard laughed, "Yeah, you should have seen the other guys. Wait, you did see the other guys and I seem to remember you were quite impressed."
"You had a crush on that girl and you were just trying to protect her. You were always a protector, sweetheart. It's still who you are." Hannah gave her a more serious look. "You are not having a crush on your crewmate, are you?"
Shepard looked down at her salad, "I don't know. When I see her, I don't want to take my eyes off her. But more so, I want to protect her. She isn't going to have an easy time before this whole mess is over, that much I can tell." She sighed. "And I'm giving her a way out of it if that's what she wants. She isn't a soldier, this isn't what she chose for her life."
Hannah felt for her daughter. Shepard always took other's needs upon her shoulders if she knew that was the right thing to do. And for someone she cared deeply about, she would throw herself into fire if that was what it took to help. "Do you trust her?" Hannah asked.
"I do. Her heart is pure, I can tell that for certain. With her upbringing, she could've been spoiled, without a purpose or even ruthless under the protection of her mother, but she isn't. She's smart, honorable, selfless and kind. I can't describe it, but when I look at her I'm in awe of what she has achieved and who she is."
Hannah hadn't seen her daughter so enthralled by anyone like this. "Just be there for her and do the best you can to help her, Honey."
"I will, mom."
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Shepard returned to the Normandy exhausted after a full day of non-stop activities, but feeling happy about her fruitful meetings. She still had to meet with Anderson and his contact and to see how Wrex's contact turned out, but now she could upload the info she received from Lonar to share with Wrex and Garrus, and ask for Tali's help with some data mining.
Shepard went back to her cabin with the two shopping bags that Hannah had given her and hopped in the shower. She wanted to turn in early. There was still much to do tomorrow. When she got out of the shower with only a towel wrapped around her, her door chimed. "Hang on a second!" She wondered who was still onboard at this hour when most of the crew were either dancing or drinking in a bar. She put on her working blues pants and a white tank top and she gave leave.
The door opened, Liara stepped in. "Commander, I saw you came in earlier. Am I interrupting?"
Shepard pointed at the sofa by the bulkhead, "No, please sit. Give me a minute." She picked up her towel on the bed and started to dry her wet hair. Liara swallowed watching the Commander but she remained silent. Shepard took one of the bags on her bed and gave it to Liara, "Here, these are some new clothes for you. My mom went shopping for us."
"For us?" Liara looked at the bag from Shepard, stunned.
"Oh, right. You don't know this about me. I hate shopping for civilian clothes, so my mom does it for me. I told her you needed some clothes because I was a bonehead and didn't take your personal belongings on Therum." Liara was beyond surprised and more than a little confused.
Does this mean she changed her mind about throwing me off the Normandy?
Persuasion was usually her strong suit, why couldn't she convince the Commander that she wanted to be here, with her? She must find the right things to say, she must! Staring at the Commander's red hair in wet curls, Liara's mind went blank. Realizing the Commander's gaze was upon her as though she'd been waiting for Liara to say something, Liara had to stop herself from spewing out some scientific data, on any topic … no, that wouldn't be appropriate. But was it better than saying nothing? Why was her mind blank?
"Commander, do you mind putting on a shirt?"
"What?" Shepard was waiting for Liara to take the shopping bag from her hand, but Liara looked like she wanted to say something, so she waited patiently for the asari to speak. But the young maiden simply stared at her, blinking her large blue eyes. Why can't I look away from those eyes? The deep blue vortexes sucked her in and took her breath away. It was Shepard's turn to swallow when Liara finally spoke. "Oh, right." She turned around quickly to put on her working blues shirt. She cleared her throat and offered Liara a drink. "I thought you'd be out dancing with the crew at Flux or having a drink somewhere." Shepard put a glass on the table in front of Liara and held her own glass in her hand.
Liara seemed a little bit more comfortable now that Shepard was fully clothed, shifting once in her seat. "I tried contacting some of my mother's old acquaintances today as you suggested."
Shepard crossed her legs sitting in her desk chair, "Oh? Any luck with future plans?"
"No." Liara looked at the drink in front of her, not touching it. "I didn't ask them to take me in. I asked them if they had heard from my mother." She looked up at the Commander cautiously.
Shepard studied Liara's expression, wondering how long they'd dance around the question. But she decided to fill Liara in on the intel from her meeting with the turian and the potential leads she'd get from Anderson and Wrex. Liara listened to Shepard carefully. She took a large sip of her drink and finally asked the question. "If you do get what you need from these contacts, do you still wish that I leave your ship, Commander?"
Shepard didn't expect she'd struggle so much with herself. The right thing to do would be make the asari see the danger of the mission and the possible confrontation with her mother and spare her both by letting her go. But the thought of not having Liara on the Normandy weighed her down heavily, and Shepard was already quite tired.
Shepard's silence made Liara's jittery feeling in her stomach worse. She offered her long waited apology in a low but firm voice. "Commander, I should not have accused you of using me to get to my mother. I was very upset but I should not have offended you like that."
"No, you didn't offend me." Shepard lowered her gaze, she had been dreading this moment. The moment when she must admit her mistake to the person she was certain she had hurt deeply. "You reminded me what's right and wrong, and what I'm fighting for." She played with the glass in her hand without taking a sip of her drink. Finally she took a deep breath as if to gather enough courage. "I was ashamed when I realized I never gave you an option to choose your own path instead of putting you on a collision course with danger and the potential destruction of someone who's your only family. I didn't think what's best for you because I was so focused on the mission. I'm working hard to correct my mistake and I hope that one day you'll see me in a better light."
This was not at all what Liara had expected to hear from Shepard. She was certain that the Commander was mad at her for her unjust accusation, but instead she had accepted the guilty Liara put on her unfairly. How could anyone be so selfless? She didn't deserve to be Shepard's friend.
Shepard waited for the asari's response, but Liara sat in a stupor looking like she was about to cry. Shepard's heartache came back. She put her drink down on the table and sighed tiredly with sadness in her voice. "You know, I could have become a design engineer for spaceships or a history scholar or a bio-medical researcher, but I choose to fight on inhabitable planets, to get shot at and to risk my life everyday. I choose to do this because I want to make the galaxy a better place. A place where daughters aren't used against their mothers, one species isn't trying to wipe out another." She stopped, as though she had more to say, but she stopped and clenched her jaw. "But when it counts, I can't even make life better for my friend."
Shepard's melancholy affected Liara deeply. Why did she always hurt the ones she loved and cared about? The ones who loved her and cared for her? She hadn't realized that she was shaking with tears rolling down her face until she saw Shepard walking over to sit by her side, holding her shoulders gently while she cried. Liara turned to the Commander and wrapped her arms around Shepard's neck, "I don't deserve a friend like you!" She started sobbing.
Shepard closed her eyes and held the asari tightly. She squeezed Liara's shoulders and stroked her back and let her cry for a bit. "I guess we're even." Shepard tried to assuage the asari's mood. "If we both feel like shit, then we deserve each other." Liara laughed with tears still on her face. Shepard wiped the tears with her fingers and smiled at the asari.
"Does this mean you are not throwing me off your ship?" Liara asked again.
"Liara, I never wanted to throw you off the ship." Shepard couldn't hide the delight in her voice. "I only wanted to give you choices and let you choose your own path. I only wanted to protect you."
"I choose to be with you. I mean to be on the Normandy."
Shepard felt the weight lifting from every part of her body when she saw the asari's face turning into a gorgeous blue flower again.
A/N: Thanks for the reviews and PMs. All comments, reviews, suggestions and PMs are welcome.
