I do not own Reign
She woke up only because the blanket was being taken off. She moaned out a complained and Bash chuckled. He was picking her up and cradling her against him like a child. She rested her head on his shoulder and breathed in the clean smell of him. She wrapped her hands around his neck to make it easier on him. She didn't however offer to walk. She wondered if this made her a horrible person. Hadn't she just lectured Bash about her getting married? A married woman wouldn't let another man carry her while she slept. A married woman wouldn't fall asleep under the stars with a man that she had feelings for, that wasn't her husband she thought. She had never been any good at this.
"You are much easier to manage with boy clothes on." He said to her and she smiled with her eyes closed. He picked the blankets up and draped them over his other shoulder so they fell over her and her tucked part of it over her shoulder. He must have had the lantern too because he started walking back toward the castle.
"I don't think you should ever tell a woman that she is easy to manage." She mumbled at him. "She might take the wrong meaning."
"I said easier to manage Soph. I would never say you were easy to manage. If you were easy to manage it would take an act of God." She laughed quietly and her shoulders shook with it. He made her smile when nobody else could. He made her forget why she was upset without even trying
She fell silent falling back into a light sleep. She woke again when he had to open the door to the cellar. He was having trouble with her and everything he was carrying. She pushed on her feet so that he dropped them. However she left her hands wrapped around his neck.
"Surely Bash, I can walk to my own room." She said looking back into his eyes. She thought of waking up every morning and looking into his eyes and her heart ached. The eyes she would wake up to see were a green brown color and they belonged to Gerald. Bash hung the lantern on the door handle and let the blankets drop as his hands went around her waist.
"When you say that I want to throw you over my shoulder and make you mine." He said to her and his eyes flashed a sharp deep emotion that scared Sophia a little.
"When I offer to walk?" She asked confused. Her words were coming slow because she had been woken up and was still in a dreamlike state.
"When you call me Bash" He said to her. She then remembered that she had been calling him Sebastian.
"But everyone calls you Bash." She said raising an eyebrow at him. "Are you going to take everyone in the castle to bed with you?"
"It only makes my heart stop when you say it." He said and then her heart stopped.
"Well that's ridiculous Bash." She said and as if to prove that it wasn't he picked her up and pressed his mouth to hers. Her hands moved from the back of his neck to his hair she ran her hands through it while he opened her mouth to deepen the kiss. Sophia wasn't sure she had ever missed anything as much as she missed this. There was a reason that it had been taken from her. She pulled away and bit her lip and looked up at him.
"This is unfair. I am unable to think clearly." She said as he dipped his head to place three kisses on her cheek.
"Maybe that's best." He said. He picked her up and opened the door. She thought he was going to take her to her room but her turned into a room off the hall that was dark. He sat down on a sort of pallet made of straw and covered with a sheet.
She felt it from where she sat on his lap as he ran his fingers through her hair.
"Do you have these placed throughout the whole castle?" She asked more impressed than upset. "That is dedication."
"Soph, Be quiet." He said and he kissed her again. She made a sound like a child when they get something they want but they aren't sure what to say. She could feel Bash's smile under her mouth. "Do you never stop being amazed with yourself?" She asked brushing her cheeks over his short hair on his face.
"I am always amazed at your ability to talk when the situation doesn't call for it." His tone was light and she slipped off his lap and onto her knees pulling his to her and kissing him deeply
"Better?" She asked her breath was coming in short shallow spurts. He put his hand on her cheek. Instead of responding he kissed her chin and trailed kisses across her jaw, down her neck and moved the loose shirt material aside to kiss her collarbone.
"I have never seen anything more beautiful than you Soph." He said and her heart skipped in her chest. There was a deep ache in her chest that wasn't uncomfortable but it was there not letting her forget.
Sophia stood holding the piece of paper that held her father's crest. She wondered why the paper shook so; until she saw that she herself was shaking. She was also crying. Tears slipped down and hit the thick fabric of her dress. She stood up and dropped the paper. She considered how long it would have taken the letter to reach her. She then considered how long it would take her to reach Spain. Her hands were shaking worse now as Nostradamus' words rang in her ears.
"Your mother shall fall ill and you shall not be there to watch the light leave her eyes. You will try but you will get there too late."
It had been a year and her mother's health had been perfect. Now her father had written one of their many letters saying that her mother had fallen severely ill and there was little chance that she would recover. He said That Sophia could come as soon as she could to say goodbye to her. He had written it just like that; as if it were the only option at this point. She turned to the door and walked toward it. Everything she seemed to do was in slow motion. She wasn't able to move fast enough. She had to tell Francis. She had to tell Sebastian. She hadn't seen him in two days since he had said he loved her. Since she had told Gerald that she couldn't marry him. The thought of leaving Bash made her heart hurt but she would come back after… After what? She asked herself but she pushed the thought aside. She walked quickly down to the hall and passed the corridors that led to Francis' room. She knocked on the door. She impatiently knocked again and heard footsteps coming faster. Francis' answered the door with his shirt un-tucked and ran his hand through his bedraggled hair. It was rather early for her to be her.
"Sophie?" He questioned her or rather the tears on her face. "What is it?"
"My mother…" She said but she couldn't get it out without bursting into tears again. "Nostradamus said... the prophecy." She said and Francis paled. He of course knew what prophecy she had been talking about. He was the one that had convinced her that it meant nothing and that she should never think of it again. Well here it was getting ready to bite her like a poisonous snake. He pulled her to him and embraced her.
"Is she sick?" he asked her and she nodded crying against his shoulder. "We will get you home Sophia. He pushed her away holding her shoulders with his hands. "We will send our fastest driver and you pack only what you need we will send the rest later. Get your maid and go." He paused letting her go and she nodded but hugged him again. "Don't say goodbye to anyone. I will explain what happened there is no need. I will go get a carriage ready for you. Find Hannah" He said this as he squeezed her tightly to him. This was his goodbye she realized. She kissed both her cheeks and turned to leave the room before a fresh wave of tears started.
She had been looking for Bash. She couldn't leave without saying goodbye to him what he would think of her. After all she loved him and he had said that he loved her too. They would be together through all this Sophia supposed. It was something to look forward to. She would tell him to wait for her some more if he would.
She had yet to try his room so as she made her way to that part of the castle. Her heart skittered with the thought of seeing him and also telling him goodbye. It would be hard but she would have to do it. She walked passed door upon door until she reached his. She knocked on it; gave it a few seconds and then opened the door. It was highly improper but under the circumstances she thought she may as well.
She walked in and saw him slip a shirt over his head. She smiled at him and he looked at her like she was death itself. She faltered as she walked into the room and followed her gaze to his bed where a woman was sitting without clothes on clutching the sheets to her. The woman was Hannah Sophia's hand maiden.
The pain in her chest was almost unbearable. She gripped the edge of a table to keep from placing it over her heart like she could sooth it. She looked from Hannah to Bash and suddenly she realized that she had never had a worse day in her life. She wasn't sure what she was going to at this moment. She wanted to rip Hannah's pretty blond hair from her head. She wanted to kill Bash and he cleared his throat she looked to him.
If He would have had the decency to look ashamed that would have been one thing.
"You should have waited at the door Sophia." He said to her. She should have waited at the door? Yes she realized this now. Not knowing about this was bound to be better than the feelings she was experiencing now. Why was he calling her Sophia? She met his gaze and met his cool collected expression. No remorse or regret hinted there only anger and perhaps disappointment. Neither of those could register with Sophia. She couldn't contemplate why. However she realized that she had stopped crying. Part of her had known that this would happen and now that part of her cackled with contempt at the part of Sophia that had thought that this was going to turn out well. Loving a son of a king was one of the worst mistakes she had ever made. She took al the pain she was feeling and turned it into a steel like resolve.
"Yes I apologize." She said "However I was looking for Hannah and couldn't find her so I thought to myself. If a woman has gone missing I bet I could find her in Sebastian's bed." She turned to the girl who was a comical color of red. Sophia was done feeling anything so she looked at the girl with a blank expression.
"I am so sorry Lady Sophia." She said with her eyes searching Sophia's face.
"No dear girl, no need to be sorry; many girls have been in the exact position you has been in right now. I am only sorry that you didn't get more rest" She said smiling at her and Bash. "All I wished to tell you was that we are leaving today. Right now; If you wouldn't mind getting up and packing two day dresses and meeting me in the front. We are going back to Spain." As she said this Bash's smile faltered and she caught the confusion but he was insane if he thought she would explain it to him. So she curtsied to him and turned to leave the room.
The memory hit her like the wind being ripped from her lungs. She was lost in Bash's kisses when she remembered the ride home and how the end of that journey had ended. With her mother lying cold in a bed and Sophia unable to tell her that she loved her one more time. She had sent Hannah away to be a maid to another. She couldn't stand to look at her. She never blamed the girl but her feelings could never be the same toward her. She had hated Bash for a long time; hated him with everything that she had. That had faded with time though and now here she was in his arms. Repeating the same mistake over again.
"Bash?" She said as he pushed her back on the pallet and kissed her. He made a noise. "Bash!" He kissed her neck again. "Sebastian." He froze and she tried to regain normal breathing.
"Sebastian?" He asked "That tone savors of something I am not going to like." He said and she resisted the urge to smile as he helped her up.
"Sebastian I am a woman." She said not sure how to start. She was only unsure of her words with him.
"I am painfully aware of that fact Soph." He said. The look on his face was of a man who hadn't eaten in days. She wanted to smile at him. She wanted to lie back down and let him make her his. Because she loved him. She had never stopped loving him and she would suffer through everything he put her through. She would let him tear through her like a meal and would pine after him as he got hungry the next morning searching for something else. She saw herself going down that road and she closed her eyes.
"I cannot do this without sacrifice on my part." She said to him. "You can lay with me wake up and marry another." She got up but her held her hand and didn't let her go. "Once I lay with you I will be ruined and can no longer marry anyone else."
"Soph, I know that you are trying to tell me that you don't want me but I don't see a single thing wrong with the things you just listed." This time she did smile.
"I know you don't." she laughed. "That is what makes you who you are. That is why I love you." She said and he looked right into her eyes. "But I can't let you burn through me like a candle and watch as you take others to your bed. I cannot bear it Bash. Other women can di it but I couldn't survive."
"You don't think Gerald will take a mistress?" He asked her. He had become indifferent now. His cold tone made her shake her head.
"I have no doubt he will, but I don't love him. It won't hurt as much as it would with you" She said turning to leave
