Is This Some Kind of Joke?


You asked. I delivered. (Sort of).


12 - Family Problems


Beth was constantly yelling at and pestering her husband, Ezekiel.

"Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goeth from 0 to 200 in 6 theconds really quickly or you're in big trouble!" She says to him.

"Sure thing, eh." Ezekiel says.

The next morning, sure enough, there was a giant box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Beth rushes outside.

She opens the box and finds a brand new bathroom scale.

-X-

Beardo decides to come out to his parents.

"Mom, dad... I'm gay." The boy says.

His dad clenches his fists.

"Don't." Beardo's mother says.

His dad begins to sweat profusely.

"Honey-"

Beard's dad says "Hi, gay! I'm dad!"

-X-

"You keep calling me your princess but you never treat me like one." Courtney says to her dad.

"Fair point." Her father says.

So, he decides to make her marry an old guy that she had never met before to secure an alliance with the French.

-X-

Geoff and Duncan are married buddies. They were out partying one night when Geoff turns to Duncan.

"You know, bro, I don't know what else to do." Says the party animal. "Whenever I go home after we've been out, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway, shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, sneak up the stairs, get undressed in the bathroom, ease into bed and Bridgette still wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"

Duncan snickered before he replies.

"Well, Geoff, my man, you're obviously taking the wrong approach." The punk said. "I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, slap Zoey's butt, and ask her if we can make out ...and she's always sound asleep."

-X-

"Shawn, are you cheating on me?" Jasmine asks.

"Oh, come on." Shawn says. "You're starting to sound like my wife."

-X-

Amy's boyfriend Tyler had a broken leg, so his friend, Noah comes over to see him.

"How is it?" Noah asked, eyeing the boy's leg.

"It's alright." Tyler said. "Can you do me a favor, though?"

"Sure. Anything you need." Noah said.

"Can you run upstairs and get me my slippers?" Asked Tyler. "My feet are freezing here."

Noah went upstairs and saw Amy and her sister, Sammy, talking.

Thinking quickly, Noah says, "Tyler sent me up here to have sex with both of you."

"Since his leg's broken, he wanted me to pleasure you instead." Noah continues.

"No, he didn't." Amy says. "Prove it."

"Tyler, both of them?" Noah asks the jock downstairs.

"Of course!" Tyler shouts back. "I mean, what's the point of fucking one?"


teehee