Chapter 12
That afternoon, as promised, I had another session with Jubilee.
What little progress I'd achieved previously wasn't doing me any good. I'd "pretty much" have the stance, but I "wasn't aware." I'd have the awareness, but not the focus. I spent more time on the ground than I spent standing. Jubilee was in rare form as well. Any illusion I'd had that maybe we were coming to an understanding disappeared entirely. Jubilee made every hit hurt and every word infuriating.
"Do you remember anything I taught you from last time?" she demanded as I stood up and brushed myself off for the fourth time.
"Yes," I said sullenly.
"Well then, start applying it."
"Right," I said flatly, standing on the rock.
She shot me look for the tone, but I was beyond caring.
"Again!"
And again I was on the ground, my body aching from the hit.
Somewhere around the ninth or tenth time I went down, I stayed down for a moment, cradling my arm as I squinted in pain. I could feel the cuts where Jubilee's nails had dug into my skin when she'd grabbed me. A quick look showed me they'd already healed over.
She bent over me. "You're still doing something wrong," Jubilee jeered. "What is it?"
There was a look of amusement in her eyes that set me off. "I don't know. Why don't you tell me?" I spat, pushing myself backwards out of her face and getting up.
"Because how else are you going to learn unless you use your God damn brain?"
I growled as I walked back to the rock and climbed up, not acknowledging her.
She came around to face me, glaring. "You know I can think of at least a dozen other things I could and would rather be doing right now instead of wasting my time."
I snorted as I narrowed my eyes.
"Stance!" she ordered and I took my position.
The back door opened before she could hit me.
I turned and saw Jasper, Dick, and Ciarán come out into the garden.
"Mind if we watch?" Ciarán asked.
As I opened my mouth to tell them I did, Jubilee cut across me. "Of course not."
I clenched my teeth.
Jasper gave me a sympathetic smile as he sat on the wall that divided the small grassy yard from the bricked courtyard, Ciarán sitting beside him.
Dick threw himself on the ground and looked on in mild interest.
"Stance!" she barked again as she began circling me.
Every muscle in my body was tensed as I waited for it, concentrating on my knees and feet. Something in me knew she'd relish having an audience, that she'd make this next one worse than all the others. Even as this thought ran through my mind, I kept listening for the movement, trying to anticipate the hit. But I missed it again, and the collision happened.
The back of her arm slammed into the side of my head and she drove me downwards until my face ground into the bricks.
There was a collective, 'Oooooh,' from the guys.
The cracks that had formed in my face healed almost immediately. The place where I bit the inside of my mouth however did not heal right away, and I felt my mouth pool with venom. Pain stabbed behind my eyes as I tried to make the line of the garden wall level. Even though all I wanted was to stay down, I got back up.
"Really Jubilee? Really?" I shouted angrily.
She got in my face. "What? The Volturi aren't going to go easy on you, and neither am I. Figure this out or get ready to be back on the fucking ground."
I felt anger well up in me and it must have showed.
"Fine, I'll do a God damn favor for you, not that you deserve it," she said sarcastically.
"You don't have to do anything for me," I said flatly.
"Oh yes, I clearly do." She climbed onto the rock. "Come at me," she beckoned. "I'll even turn my back," she said in a lofty tone, turning away from me.
I didn't pause to ask if she was serious. I darted forward, striking her as hard as I could.
And I was airborne. I landed on my face six feet away with a huge crash.
"Oh!" Ciarán groaned as he rose to his feet. "Shit!"
Both Dick and Jasper were shaking their heads, their faces in their hands.
"Now you that you've seen it, clearly it can be done," Jubilee said, craning her head toward me. "Once you're done feeling sorry for yourself, why don't you get up and figure out what I did right."
I blinked once before clamoring to my feet.
"Look at my feet," she commanded. "Look at the line of my legs and back. This isn't rocket science, it's a basic instinct. I want to stay on my feet, therefore I position my body like this to accomplish that," she said, gesturing to her body.
I stared at the angle of her legs and back, trying to memorize the pose.
"Now it's your turn," she said, getting down.
I sighed as I climbed back up, trying to mimic what I'd seen her do, but a minute later I was on my knees, having barely absorbed the blow.
There was a snort and a tinkle of laughter.
I looked up, realizing she was laughing at me as she stared down with a look of sheer amusement. She was enjoying this.
I growled and punched the ground, a few bricks crunching under the force.
She laughed louder.
My eyes flashed. In an instant I was on my feet, inches away from her face.
"Oh, you're angry?" she said innocently.
"You think?" I shouted.
"Good, I'm glad. It's better than being a scared little bitch," she said, saying each word with such force tiny bits of spit came out of her mouth. She took a step closer so that our bodies brushed against each other.
I ran my tongue across my teeth. "You know what? Fuck you," I growled, shoving her.
The guys were on their feet, calling out urges to calm down, but we ignored them.
Her hands twitched as though they were itching to get ahold of me, and I felt mine do the same.
"You want to take a swing at me? Go ahead. Maybe you'll do better at that than trying to knock me down," she sneered.
I glared at her. All I wanted was hit her as hard as I possibly could. I was tired of the snide remarks, the extra hard hits, the lack of explanation on her part, her seemingly only giving me half of the training I needed, making me look stupid, all of it! I had reached my limit.
"You're not worth saving. This bullshit attempt at training demonstrates that. Maybe you should just go ahead, roll over, and die at the feet of a Guard member. I believe you're familiar with that process," she purred. "It'd be all you deserve for—"
Maybe she wasn't ready for it or maybe the move had been that good, but in a flash I had her left arm pinned behind her and an arm wrapped around her throat in a headlock.
She struggled against me, cursing, but I only tightened my hold. I could feel her arm beginning to crack under my grip. She hissed in pain as I stared down at her in triumph and contempt. There was the briefest look of fear in her eyes before they hardened.
"Bella?" Jasper called in a cautious tone.
I didn't look up; I just stared down at Jubilee whose face twitched as she stilled under my hold. I knew I had her beat.
"Don't," Jubilee ordered, her eyes locked on mine. "She's fine."
I heard the guys back off.
"Feel better?" she asked through clenched teeth.
I snorted once before letting go of her roughly.
She rubbed her arm, encouraging her skin to close where it had cracked.
I stared at her for a moment, then turned away.
She was in front of me again in a flash. "Stop being a slave to your fear, malice, and self-pity. You can't imagine what you could accomplish if you did." She stalked off toward the house, continuing to rub her arm.
"How's that working out for you?" I called.
She paused briefly, shooting a cold, sidelong glance over her shoulder before going into the house.
My back was still to the guys, but I could feel their stares burning a hole into me. The awkward silence was oppressive.
A vice was closing over my chest. "I need some air," I said, not looking at them. I jumped to the top of the garden wall, and with a leap, I pulled myself up onto the roof next door.
I raced along the rooftops, jumping from one to another. The breeze caught my hair, embracing my bare skin. I felt my lungs fill up and empty with each breath I took in. It didn't matter if I didn't need the oxygen to live; I still needed the air to survive.
I finally stopped on a slanted rooftop. A quick look around alerted me to the fact that I'd run far enough for the Eiffel Tower to be in my line of sight.
I sat down on the roof, which was hot with the day's sun. I sighed as I leaned back against the slant and closed my eyes, letting the sounds of the city swallow up my mind and the warmth of the sun fill me. Within a few minutes the tightness in my chest had lessened and the roar of anger in my ears had quieted.
"Well that was something," a voice said.
Without opening my eyes I shrugged.
"And that closing statement? Icing on the cake," Jasper continued, sitting down next to me.
I shrugged again.
"How's your head?"
Now that I thought about it, I felt a resurgence of pain.
I groaned softly and pressed my hands against my temple.
He chuckled and pulled my head into his lap, rubbing my back.
"You Cullens are such assholes," I moaned.
"Excuse me?" he laughed.
"I'll have you know I thought you vampires were impervious to pain before I became one. I was very disillusioned when I found out that wasn't the case."
"You're joking, right?" His chest rumbled with laughter.
"Nope," I said, popping the 'p.' "I thought you were all indestructible, pain free creatures."
"And Edward let you believe that?"
"I don't think it occurred to him to tell me in the first place, and I certainly wasn't going to tell him I thought that y'all were practically marble statues."
"'Y'all,'" Jasper repeated with a chuckle.
"Yeah, Emmett pointed that one out too. You're rubbing off on me apparently."
"Love it."
I could hear the smile in his voice.
My thoughts drifted back to why I was sitting up here on the roof and I covered my face with my hands. "What if I can't do this Jasper?"
"Is that what you're afraid of?" Jasper asked, his hand rubbing circles over my back.
I winced as he pressed too hard against a sore spot and sat up.
"Sorry," he said quickly. "Is it?"
"That, and if I can't, you could all be killed for trying to help me."
"We all knew what we were getting into when we agreed to this. We could have all easily left with Reg, Ximena, and Winston, but we didn't." He sighed and shifted his weight, sitting up straighter. "Besides, the dye's been cast now, so the best thing you can do is to train up and arm yourself, so that this isn't all for nothing."
I thought about this as I leaned back against the roof.
We sat in silence for a few minutes before I cleared my throat. "Then there's Adrien and Dick. They talk like I'm redeeming them."
"Maybe you are?" he shrugged.
"They both talked about righting wrongs. I feel like there's a lot more to this."
"Well I don't think you're wrong there, but damned if I can figure it all out. Adrien plays things pretty close to the chest."
"You don't think he's…" I trailed off. "He's not like Aro, is he?"
"No, I don't get that at all. I think he genuinely wants to help you." He sighed. "I'm just not sure what's in it for him."
"Well there's the whole history he's got with the Volturi," I said, and I explained everything Adrien had told me at the church.
"Interesting," Jasper said a little while later, after I'd finished. "Very interesting," he repeated. "Maybe he is after a little bit more than redemption then."
I cocked an eyebrow at him.
"Has it occurred to you that training you to be able to resist becoming a Guard member could be his own form of revenge?"
"The thought crossed my mind," I admitted, shifting uneasily.
I could feel him watching me, but I didn't look up.
"It could be something else," he said casually, shrugging. "Or exactly what he says it is, redemption. Still, it's a pretty big statement to train someone for the sole purpose of defying the Volturi. You don't just do that without some kind of motivation."
"More posturing," I said with a sigh. "But you said you didn't think he wanted to lead."
"No, I don't see that. I could be missing something, but he just doesn't strike me as someone who wants to seize power." He ran his hands through his hair absent mindedly. "I don't think Adrien has any intention sharing certain information with us unless it's in his own time. What I do know is that everyone here wants to help you, and it's too late to back out now. If people want to look at you as saving some part of themselves, let them."
"So no pressure."
"Oh there's going to be plenty of pressure along the way," Jasper said in a cutting tone as he pulled on my arm to get my attention.
I turned to face him.
His expression was very serious. "And you can't fly off the handle, even if you've been baited really, really well," he said, raising an eyebrow at me and giving me a stern look.
I did a double take. "Are you really—"
"You're not exactly keeping up that promise you made to Adrien by pulling a stunt like that," he said pointedly. "These people are putting everything on the line, and you shouldn't have done that to Jubilee."
"Did you see how hard she hit me?" I cried.
"Of course I did! But we both know what she was trying to do—get under your skin. And you let her! I don't think I've ever seen you that angry before, and I definitely haven't heard you speak to someone like that and mean it. She's trying to help you learn how to save your own ass, but you're too busy falling for her taunting to learn a damn thing."
I looked down at my hands in shame.
"Bella, look at me," he ordered.
I looked up and his expression had softened.
"I know it physically hurts and God knows her comment about you knowing something about dying at the feet of a Guard member made me want to hit her too, but you have to look at the bigger picture here. I don't think Adrien would have paired you with her if he didn't think she's the best person to teach you how to stay on your feet in a fight."
I nodded.
"It's okay to be afraid Bella, and as far as I'm concerned it's perfectly fine to hate Jubilee's guts, but you can't let either emotion dictate your actions," he said, standing up. "Now, you're coming back with me and I'm going to give you a few pointers before you ask Jubilee if she'd be willing to train you after all of this," he said firmly.
"And I need to apologize," I added, hanging my head.
He nudged me with his foot. "Come on, get up," he urged, holding out his hand.
I took it, letting him pull me to my feet.
"I still love you, but with everything that's happening, the honeymoon's ov—" he stopped, pursed his lips, and shook his head. "I mean, uh, the—" he fumbled.
I felt a wave of sadness wash over me. I knew he was having one of those moments we both have from time to time, when we're reminded of Edward or Alice, making us miss them so much.
I studied his face, allowing him a moment. "I know," I murmured, squeezing his hand.
He returned the sad smile and kept a hold of my hand as we made our way back to the house.
It took a while for me to finally get the positioning right. Jasper had to physically adjust my body, but I finally had it.
"This position will help you absorb the impact, but there are two parts to this, which you already know."
"Stance and balance," I replied.
"Correct. You can't be stiff though, you have to flex. When you get hit," he said, placing a hand on my shoulder and gently shoving me, "You come back to the stance," he instructed, and I eased back against his hand.
"Balance will help you get back to this position. With some practice it won't require a lot of thought. As you raise your awareness, you'll be able to anticipate the movement before the hit, so you'll be able to position yourself accordingly. I think you'll be surprised; you kind of already know how to do some of this."
For a few minutes Jasper tested me, shoving me one direction, then another, trying to throw me off balance. It didn't feel entirely natural, but at least I understood how my body should be positioned and why. He didn't make me guess the whys and hows..
When we were done I straightened up, smiling down at him. "Thank you Jasper," I murmured. My arms longed to be around him.
"That's why I'm here," he said, reaching up and lifting me gently down into his arms. He hugged me for a moment before setting me down on my feet. "I don't want you to think for a minute that just because I might be hard on you doesn't mean I don't care any less for you. I'm just…" he trailed off.
"Scared," I finished. "I know."
"I love you," he murmured, leaning down and kissing me before I could reply.
After a moment we separated.
"I need to go find her," I said, looking off toward the house.
"Yep," he nodded. "Good luck."
It took me a half hour to find her. When I did it was on a bench overlooking the river.
I walked to the opposite end of the bench, looking over at her.
She stared ahead, not acknowledging me.
"May I sit?" I asked, indicating the open spot next to her.
She shrugged. "Free country," she said in a tone lacking any emotion.
I took a seat, joining her in staring at the river. We sat in silence for ten minutes or so.
"Did you come here to see the Seine or did you want something else?" she inquired finally.
"Both?" I suggested, shrugging.
"Well you've seen it, anything else you should probably just get it over with and leave."
"I'm sorry," I blurted out without any thought.
Jubilee looked at me for the first time. "What?"
"Um, look, I am really sorry for all of that back...back there. I'm sorry I wasn't more cooperative." I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment as I tried to figure out what I wanted to say. I hadn't really thought about it prior to this. I let out a long sigh. "You were trying to help me and I didn't act very...very gratefully, er grateful. I mean I wasn't very appreciative and...and I should have been," I stammered, fumbling my words. I stared down at my hands. "So, um, so…I'm sorry," I finished lamely. I meant it sincerely, even if I was incapable of articulating it gracefully.
She looked away, her eyebrows raised. "Are you always this bad at apologizing?"
I chuckled. "Usually," I admitted.
She snorted. "Anything else?"
"I wanted to know if you'd be willing to continue training me."
She laughed bitterly. "Aha. Wondered when that was coming."
I pressed my lips together. "Look, I am really—"
"'Sorry,' yeah, I heard you the first time," she said, cutting me off. She let out a long exhale before looking at me again, this time appraisingly. "I will say this for you, you're decent at disarming."
"Thank you. My brother taught me that," I said, feeling a corner of my mouth hitch up.
"Your brother?"
"Emmett," I explained. "He's a part of the Cullen coven."
"Ah," she nodded.
"You kinda have to be on your toes when you're around him," I said slowly, squinting ahead, remember all the times Emmett provoked my newborn senses by trying to tackle me.
"So why aren't you the same way with me?" she asked.
I frowned. "It's not the same."
"No?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow at me.
I looked off toward the river. Night was falling, but with all the lights of the city you couldn't really tell. Even by human standards it was still pretty bright.
Suddenly there was the sound of something cutting through the air. I shot out a hand and caught Jubilee's fist mere inches from the side of my head.
I stared at her for a moment.
"It's only different because you love him and hate me. You hate me enough to ignore your basic instincts—and I've only just been rude to you, mind you. How do you think you're going to do against the Volturi if they show up? They've taken something precious from you. You won't be able to function," she said in a velvety voice.
My eyes drifted down in shame. "You're right."
"Of course I am," she scoffed.
Another fist flew toward my face, which I stopped once again.
"You didn't fall on your ass when Reg tried to punch you and you aren't now. You've got the skill set. Apply it," she insisted.
I blocked another punch and another.
"Up," she insisted.
I rose and turned to face her.
"Stop being afraid," she ordered. "We'll all help you get there, but if I die because you were too big of a chicken shit, I'm going to be—" a fist flew, and I caught it, "pissed," she finished. She circled me as she spoke. "You must recognize the feeling, but don't be paralyzed—" I ducked this time, dodging a kick, "by it. And if anyone feels sorry for you, including yourself, kick their arse because—" the body check came on at a blinding speed. I held my form—almost. I had to take a step forward, but I didn't fall down, "that means they've already decided you're dead," she said in a cool voice, taking a step back.
I straightened up, facing Jubilee.
She raised an eyebrow at me. "Who?"
"Jasper," I said with a shrug.
"Figured," she said dismissively as she walked past me.
I sighed and stared ahead at the skyline.
Maybe she was right? Maybe I really had been operating under the assumption that I was as good as dead.
The sudden blow to my lower back put me on the ground.
I groaned as I looked up into the smirking face of Jubilee.
"Your focus still needs some work," she said flatly before moving out of my line of sight.
I winced as I sat up, looking after her as she walked away.
"Does that mean you'll train me?" I called.
She laughed loudly, but did not turn back or answer.
I rubbed my back as I winced. "Guess so," I murmured to myself.
Wow-people have started to pick this and Afterlife back up! Thank you guys so much for reading! It gives me such joy and pleasure to read your reviews and see all the different people from around the world who've read these stories! I would like to thank my dear beta Naelany, without whom I could not begin to break my habit of overusing the word 'and.'
