Chapter song: Demons by Imagine dragons

*I don't own Twilight, it all belongs to Stephenie.*

Gray and green connected intensely. They were so deep into each other that the Cullen brothers could not look away.

They both held one another's gaze… They both waited for the other to say something.

Edward's body was as taut as a bowstring. He was so tense he could not move.

Jasper's facial expression was as impassive as a statue's. But on the inside the anxiety was increasing unmercifully by the second.

The strained silence extended… It was getting hard even to breathe inside the room but neither of the young men would budge.

Inside their minds they were battling with themselves… Jasper controlling his anguish in order to keep the placid facade, as trying to find the best way to convince his brother not to be afraid to open up. Edward desperately searching his mind for a way out of that situation, since telling his brother he loved him way beyond fraternally was not an option.

Minutes passed…

Until, finally, both of them, knowing well how the other could be obstinate, understood they would spend a long time in that "stare contest" if neither gave in, they decided to break the uncomfortable stillness.

They spoke at the same time in the same pleading tone.

"I don't know what you wanna hear."

"Please, talk to me."

Both Edward and Jasper, hearing what the other had said, sighed and bent their heads as squeezing their eyes shut for an instant. Then Jasper was the one to cede, for he knew that, between the two of them, Edward was the most stubborn one.

He walked to his brother and, hesitantly, held his face in his hands and raised his head until their eyes met.

"Please." He asked emphatically, arching his eyebrows high. "Talk to me. There's nothing you can't tell me."

Edward felt his control wavering, the urge to give Jasper exactly what he was asking for so strong he could barely retain it.

"I…" He let out in a barely-there whisper.

Jasper searched his eyes and nodded slowly, encouraging him. Edward parted and closed his lips a couple of times before sighing heavily, his heart thundering in his chest.

"You're…" He uttered and then cut himself off as shaking his head.

"Tell me." Jasper insisted.

For a second, just a mere second, Edward considered disclosing the truth. If he were honest with himself he would admit he wanted, hopelessly, to share his secret with his brother…

But he knew he could not do that. He was irremediably aware of the consequences that revelation would generate.

So he fought. He fought his feelings, he fought his urges, he fought his weaknesses… And as he fought also the truth, he found in his mind the perfect way to be honest without being explicit.

He held his brother's hands with his, and deliberately ignored the shiver they shared. He swallowed hard as calming himself, and looked deep into Jasper's eyes as he spoke.

"I feel too responsible for you." He started in a grave voice. "I feel as if your safety and happiness depended on me… It' so… So intense that it's almost obsessive." He paused, gauging his sibling's reaction. "I don't know how to deal with it. I've never known. And I… At some point I understood that I needed to have a life… Which I couldn't really have if it was constantly revolving around you."

He pulled Jasper's hands away from his face and let them go once they were far enough. Jasper frowned softly and started nibbling the inside of his cheek.

"That's why I moved away." Edward resumed, taking a step back. "That's why I kept my distance and that's why it's so heavy for me… To have you around." He felt as if his heart was cracking as he noticed tears welling up Jasper's eyes. "That's why it's so heavy for me to love you."

Jasper heaved a sigh and bent his head as thick tears rolled down his face.

"I also wanted you to have a life, without me breathing down your neck." Edward added as to sooth a bit of the disappointment he could see in his brother's downcast gaze.

Jasper took a minute to process what he had heard… And as he assimilated everything, and found sense in his brother's words, he looked back at Edward's gray eyes and focused on them.

"Why do you feel as if I was your responsibility?" He asked in a tremulous tone, not bothering to dry the subtle tears that kept flowing from his eyes.

Edward fought the urge to just run his thumbs across Jasper's blushing cheeks.

"I don't know." He consciously lied. "Maybe because you were always so fragile…"

"I'm not fragile." Jasper retorted in a firm tone.

Edward shrugged, his eyes apologetic.

"That's how I see you." He justified in a whisper.

Jasper took a step closer to him and craned his neck a little.

"I'm not fragile, and I don't need you to take care of me. I can take care of myself." He affirmed steadfastly. "All I need…" His voice broke and he cleared his throat. "All I need is my brother, my best friend, back."

It was Edward's turn to have his eyes welling up. He frowned.

"I want to go back." Although low, his tone was emphatic. "I just need to find a middle ground."

"So, let me help you." Jasper pleaded as taking his brother's hands in his. "Just let me in, Tonton."

"I don't know that you can."

"Let me try." Jasper insisted in a sad smile. "You need me too."

"I do." Edward admitted in mirrored gesture. "You have no idea how much, but…"

"Stop." Jasper demanded in a sudden harsh tone and look. "Stop trying to find excuses."

Edward looked away, affected by the exigent stance his brother had assumed. It made him feel vulnerable.

Jasper let go of his hands and held his face once again.

"Look at me." He commanded, and Edward immediately obliged. "Why can't you trust me?"

"I trust you."

"No, you don't. If you did you would let me in."

"Jade…" Edward uttered as pulling his head away and stepping back until they were a few feet apart.

Jasper exhaled heavily, dismayed.

"What can I do?" He asked seeming almost defeated. "Just tell me what to do, how to act around you… I'll do it." He swallowed hard and pleaded with his eyes. "I've told you… I'll do anything, Edward… Anything… Just to have you back."

Moved solely by his heart, Edward surrendered just a little. He walked back to his baby brother and, feeling as if his heart was about to explode, he looked down as he held Jasper's arms softly.

"Stay." He let out his heart's strongest will. "Just stay for a while more. Don't go."

Their eyes, as their hearts, connected deeply.

Once more Jasper felt the unnamed feeling taking over him… But this time, instead of making him uncomfortable and raising the urge for distance as it happened in the morning of the previous day, it exerted a relentless pull… An impulse he fought with all his strength and conscience, and that he denied until he believed it was nothing…

"Okay." He replied to his brother's request. "I'll stay."

They exchanged a longing gaze until they both felt as if they had reached a limit. They stepped away from each other in synchrony.

"I'll make you breakfast." Edward said in a weird voice.

Jasper just nodded.

Then he extended his open hand to his brother. Edward took the key and was soon gone. And he stood there, trying to make sense of the myriad of emotions running wild inside of him.

#IMPOSSIBLE#

"Good morning, boys." Alice's voice was cheerful as she entered the kitchen.

She found Edward scrambling some eggs in a frying pan as Jasper set the table.

Jasper held back a cringe, forced a smile and looked her way after placing the forks over the table cloth.

"Good morning." His tone was light, but Edward, who knew him better than anybody, recognized the hint of distaste underlining his voice.

Oblivious, Alice returned his smile with a sweet one and walked toward Edward. Jasper looked away as soon as her hands slid up his brother's naked broad back.

"Morning, pixie." Edward greeted her while turning.

He kissed her forehead and moved to the table, Alice following him. The three sat in silence and helped themselves to the food.

After sipping some coffee, Edward looked at Alice before covering her hand with his.

"There's something I need to tell you." He spoke calmly, but due to the silence, his thick voice made Jasper look at him.

"Shoot." Alice replied as placidly as Edward.

"There's someone else I'll be seeing from now on."

Jasper frowned, a bit perplexed with the ease with which his brother was speaking that and with the lack of reaction on Alice's part.

He furrowed his eyebrows even more when, against all the odds, she smiled.

"Do I know her?" Alice asked as she poured herself some more juice.

Jasper quietly gasped.

"Him." Edward corrected serenely. "Yeah, it's Emmett."

And finally Jasper could see a reaction… But definitely not the one he expected.

Alice's smile just broadened and she looked at Edward seeming hyper.

"Really?" Her tone was a mixture of surprise and delight that made Jasper feel even more uneasy. Edward nodded. "Finally."

"What? Don't tell me you knew this could happen." Edward gave back in a smile.

"Well, that it could happen, not really, but I kinda rooted for him." She shrugged. "I've always known he had a slight crush on you."

Edward chuckled while shaking his head, and Jasper, utterly baffled with the whole thing, leaned on the backrest of the chair and focused on the hot coffee mug he had in his hands.

They kept to themselves for a moment as they ate, and only Jasper felt uncomfortable.

"What are your plans for this weekend?" Alice broke the silence as she finished her meal.

"I want to spend some time with my brother." Edward answered looking at Jasper.

The mention made the younger look at him, and they shared a spontaneous smile.

"You know, besides the similar features... Fair skin, blond hair, light-colored eyes…" Alice spoke pensively, and both men looked at her. "You two are not much alike. I mean… As brothers usually are."

"Dad says Jasper looks a lot like our grandfather." Edward provided. "We didn't know him, he died even before I was born and by the photos it's difficult to tell."

"Edward is the spitting image of our dad at this age." Jasper added.

"You two could easily be cousins." Alice commented simply. "Or not even be related, at all. If I didn't know I would never tell you're siblings."

"Well, we are." Edward replied in a controlled tone.

He truly wished they were not.

"If you'll excuse me…" Jasper said as he got up. "I need to call dad, tell him I'm staying longer." He told Edward.

"I take care of the dishes, don't worry." He assured as Jasper moved to take his plate.

He nodded and left the kitchen.

Alice sighed.

"He definitely doesn't like me." She stated unperturbed.

Edward chuckled.

"You'll win him over." He affirmed as getting up and moving toward the sink.

"I don't think so…" Alice said contemplatively to herself while looking to where Jasper had just gone out. "I truly don't."

#IMPOSSIBLE#

Jasper put the joystick on the coffee table and, with a cheeky smile on his lips, observed his brother walk to the door.

Soon after breakfast Alice had left to go to work, and Edward had spent the whole day focused on him. They went grocery shopping together, exchanged spontaneous laughs as they told each other old jokes and recalled moments from their past… Edward took Jasper to a brief tour around the city and they had lunch at a cozy restaurant downtown… Once they were back home they watched their favorite movie and then decide to play video games like old times.

It had a been a great day, and Jasper felt way happier than he had for a while. He was so ridiculously happy he felt a bit giddy.

So he kept his bright-eyed stare over Edward as he opened the door. He took more than what would be natural to process the emotion that rose inside him as he saw his brother pulling Emmett by the shirt collar, and the big guy placing his big hand on Edward's face softly in the sequence, just before their lips attached and they exchanged a lingering shallow kiss.

Jasper just blinked, and all the jolliness he'd been feeling was washed away.

He dropped his eyes to the cushion between his indian-style folded legs and swallowed slowly. And once more he told himself he was jealous because Emmett had a significant role in Edward's life while he was trying to earn back his. He inwardly justified the oppressing insecurity he felt, and tried to find comfort in the fact that his brother was acting so naturally around him again that he was not hiding who he really was anymore.

"Hey, Jasper." Emmett's strong voice brought him back from his thoughts, but his eyes landed on Edward.

He felt a weird pinch in his stomach as he realized his brother's face was slightly blushed and his eyes had a different glint.

"Hey, Emmett." Jasper replied in a forced smile and light tone. "So I've heard you're hooking up with my brother." His voiced took a slightly suggestive pitch as he arched one of his eyebrows questioningly.

Edward chuckled and glanced from him to Emmett, feeling strangely light.

Emmett smiled unconcerned as his amber eyes twinkled with mischief.

"Should I have asked for your permission?" He asked in a joking tone as he sat beside Jasper on the sofa.

Jasper followed Edward with his eyes until he sat on the sofa arm next to him. They shared an empathetic look and then smiled softly to each other as both their hearts seemed to synchronize their rapid beats.

"Should he?" Edward asked in a soft voice to his baby brother.

Noticing their undeniable synergy, Emmett squinted slightly, observing closely the evident and intense affection flowing between them through their gazes and body language.

And as Jasper nodded slowly, a hazy look in his eyes, that were acutely locked in Edward's, the big guy silently questioned if his best friend's feelings were indeed unilateral.

He didn't have time to mull it over, though… At least not right then.

"I'll give you my blessing." Jasper spoke slightly defiantly, which confused Emmett a bit. "If you remember who I am."

Emmett furrowed his eyebrows.

"Edward's younger brother." He said in a slightly interrogative tone.

Jasper shook his head once.

"His center."

And for a second or two, the steady tone with which Jasper had pronounced those words, and the words themselves, echoed in the heads of the three of them, provoking diverse emotions.

While Emmett was puzzled and Jasper surprised with himself, Edward felt something he had never seen coming…

Hope.

#IMPOSSIBLE#

"You've already drank too much." Emmett whispered in Edward's ear as taking the glass of whisky out of his hand. "I thought you were okay."

"I aam okaay." Edward slurred the words a bit as he pulled away a little so he could look in Emmett's eyes.

"So why are you drowning yourself in whisky?" Emmett arched his eyebrows in a questioning expression.

Edward looked away from his best friend's cunning gaze and glanced around the crowded club. Of course his trained eyes landed on his brother, dancing discreetly, all by himself, in the middle of a sea of hungry men that were all ogling him.

Emmett followed his stare and sighed.

"I should've predicted this…" He spoke to himself. "Do you wanna go outside?"

"Iwanna tellhim." Edward blurted out, his gaze fix on Jasper.

"What?!" Emmett uttered in bafflement, his eyes widening. "You wanna tell your brother that you're…"

"Inlove with hiiim, yeah." Edward provided in a mumble as he swayed side to side a little.

Emmett moved from beside him and stood right before him, blocking Edward's view and forcing him to look up at his incredulous eyes.

"Have you lost your mind?!" he spoke loud and clear, and Edward focused on him like he thought he would. "Edward…"

"Cantkeep this tomyself anymoorEmm!" He yelled over the loud music. "Is killinme!"

Emmett pulled him aside, to a darker and a bit less crowded corner.

"Edward, for God's sake!" He held his forehead. "How do you think he'll react, huh? He'll freak out!"

"Helovesme." Edward slurred once again. "Notlike I dohim, but itwiill makim understand… Thisssnot myfault."

"This is the alcohol speaking." Emmett thought out loud, then looked fiercely at him. "You're fucking drunk, you don't know what you're saying."

"He toldme there's nothing I can'ttellhim." Edward stumbled through the words. "I wanthim toknow."

"You'll lose him, and your family!" Emmett was emphatic.

Edward leaned his head on the wall behind him and closed his eyes, trying to make his mind stop spinning.

"Just… Stay here." He heard Emmett ask softly. "I'll get you some water and we can talk better about this once you're sober. Okay? Answer me."

Edward looked vaguely at him and nodded.

"Promise me you'll wait for me right here." Emmett insisted. Edward nodded again. "Don't you move."

And Edward even tried to stay put…

He told himself, even with the numbness and through the heavy haze provoked by his drunken state, that he should wait for Emmett.

But then, from afar he saw Jasper glancing around, as if he was looking for something… And then he noticed the guy talking to him, ogling him, getting too fucking close to him… And he simply couldn't stand it.

Stumbling and swaying all the way, he walked to his brother.

"Heeey, fuckooofff." He spoke in an unstable voice, putting himself in front of Jasper.

He felt his sibling's hand on his shoulder, but he was too busy glaring at the muscular man before him.

"Why would I?" The guy defied him, tilting his chin up.

"BecauseI'mtellinyouto." His words came out in a slow, elongated pace.

"Who the fuck are you, his bodyguard?" The man questioned him as getting closer.

Edward shortened the distance between them even more, until they were mere inches apart, scowling at each other.

And that was the moment Jasper knew he needed to interfere. He'd already realized how drunk his brother was.

He pulled Edward by the arm and stepped in front of him.

"He's my brother." He answered the guy with a firm stance and stare. Then he turned to Edward. "And he's stupidly drunk." He said as looking pointedly into his sibling's eyes. He gazed back at the stranger. "Thank you, but no, thanks. I have a boyfriend." He was relentless.

Jasper didn't wait for the guy's come back. He wrapped his hand around Edward's wrist and started to walk away, pulling him easily.

"You need some fresh air." He said in a low tone as he spotted a back door.

"Heeeeeey, wherareyou takinme?" Edward stammered.

"Outside." Jasper yelled above the loud noise.

And then they were out in the cold night, the only sounds reaching them being cars passing by and the echo of the music coming from inside the club.

"Where's Emmett?" Jasper asked as they leaned side by side on the wall.

"I dunno…" Edward slurred the words once again.

Jasper glanced sideways at him, smiling crookedly as understanding how out of his normal self his brother was.

"You're fucking hammered." He provided in a chuckle.

Edward chuckled as well.

"ThaswhaEmm said."

Jasper frowned and dropped his stare to the wet dirty pavement.

"So…" He stalled a little. "Now you guys are really…"

"Yeeeeeah." Edward laughed. "Im hookinup withmy bestfriend. Hess thefirsyou know… Guy." His words coming out between subtle hiccups.

Having a hard time controlling his jealousy, and unconsciously biting the inside of his bottom lip, Jasper risked a glance at his older sibling.

"You're falling for him?" He asked cautiously.

Edward chuckled again, and then laughed lightly while shaking his head.

"GuessIwanto… you know? 'Cause theneverythin willbe soooo mucheasier…" He laughed a bit more as Jasper frowned, confused with his reaction. "Buthas kindimpossible…"

Jasper pushed away from the wall and stood right in front of him.

"Why's that?"

Edward got immediately serious.

"'CauseIm alreadinlove with sommebody elllse." He blurted out.

Jasper took half a minute to assimilate that.

"You are?" He finally asked, and his voice was hesitant and low. "Who is it?"

Edward squinted, feeling there was something in his brother's eyes that was very familiar, something he needed to recognize, but he was failing miserably.

He shook his head and his body swayed together as he dropped his stare to his feet.

"I wishyouu werenoot mybrother." He mumbled.

It worked as a punch to the gut, and Jasper stepped back, his hands coming to his stomach in a spontaneous motion.

"Why… why would you say that…?" He uttered in sheer hurt.

Edward raised his eyes to him and, unable to identify the pain he caused due to the influence of the alcohol, he just let out his truth.

"Becaause I lovyou…"

Although Jasper did not perceive, the affirmation was saturated with longing and tenderness.

He frowned.

"You wish I were not your brother because you love me?" And he sounded as puzzled as he felt. "Is that supposed to make any sense?"

Even being as drunk as he was, Edward still hesitated a little before giving in to the impulse…

He took a whole minute before opening his mouth to try and explain.

"I donsimply lovyou, Imm…"

A loud bang startled both of them and made them turn to the heavy metal doors from where they had come through.

"I looked all over for you!" Emmett shouted. "You got me fucking worried!"

Only then he stopped to take in the scene before him… Jasper's face blushed, his eyes glistening with unshed tears… Edward swaying slightly, his face also reddish, his eyes bigger than normal.

"What happened?" Emmett was cautious, already trying to come up with a contingency plan.

Jasper looked sadly at his brother, shook his head and turned his back to them, striding toward the parking lot.

"Jaaade." Edward mumbled as he took a step forward, intending to follow him, but Emmett held him by the arm.

"What did you do?" He asked in a soft voice, worried.

"I wastryinto tellhim…" Edward's voice was unstable. "Thinkit cameout wrong."

"I told you not to do this." Emmett subtlety scolded him. "C'mon. Time to go home."

"Whereishim?" The words tumbling out of his mouth as he stumbled next to his friend.

"He's probably by the car, he walked toward the parking lot."

And there he was, leaning on the car hood, head down, ankles and arms crossed, a defeated expression on his face. As soon as Emmett and Edward got closer he pulled away and turned his back to them.

Emmett turned off the alarm and held Edward's wrist as Jasper got in the back. He looked at the big guy with a dizzy gaze.

"Wait until you're home to talk to him. Don't mess up things even more." Emmett advised in a caring tone.

Edward just nodded to his best friend, just vaguely aware of what had happened.

Once they were all in the car Emmett drove away.

It was a long and silent ride until Edward's apartment.

#IMPOSSIBLE#

Looking into the deep gray and feeling as if his heart could fly out of his chest, Jasper raised his hand to his brother's face… Edward covered it with his and leaned in closer.

"I love you, Jade. I truly do. And that's basically the reason for everything."

Jasper squeezed his eyes, trying to hold himself together and not to burst from such strong emotion.

He pulled away his hand and turned his back to Edward, but as soon as he opened his eyes the older was there before him.

"You are the center of my world. Always have been, always will be." He spoke emphatically. "There's no one else as important to me as you. And sometimes…" He cut himself off and sighed, but then he smiled softly. "Sometimes this is exactly what keeps us apart… It's just... Too much to bear. Loving you, the way I do? It's heavy. It takes too much of me…"

Confused with all the feelings revolving inside him, and a bit uncomfortable with his brother's words, Jasper turned away again and started to walk.

Soon he was striding along a pale field, feeling as if there was something he needed to find, something he needed to understand, something that had always been there but he'd failed to see…

He felt a hand wrapping around his wrist, yanking him back.

"This is… Too hard for me." Edward spoke in a trembled voice as Jasper looked at him. "I've tried, but I can't… I can't do this. I can't be around you. Not anymore. It hurts too much."

Jasper frowned and opened his mouth to ask why he was telling him all those things… He'd heard all that before and it hurt too much to go through all that again.

But before he could form the question Edward was simply gone…

He squeezed his eyes again, this time harder, and once he opened his eyelids the scenario was changed…

It was raining so much he couldn't see clearly and almost stumbled on the sea of suitcases and bags. He walked disoriented through them until he saw Edward's car and him sitting on the hood.

They looked at each other.

"Having you close… Seeing you with Jake." Edward murmured while shaking his head.

When he bent it in a plain defeated gesture, Jasper got closer and held up his face.

"I love you. Plus que ma propre vie." Edward whispered longingly.

He hugged Edward, resting his chin in his brother's shoulder, closing his eyes.

He opened them once he felt he was wrapping his arms around air, and what he saw made his stomach churn.

Edward was kissing Emmett with such passion it hurt him deeply… And he didn't even know how to explain that pain to himself.

So he thought about turning away and leave… But his body went the opposite way, toward the engrossed couple, and soon he was so close he could touch them...

And then he was not simply close… He was the one kissing Edward.

His brother pushed away his face and looked intensely into his eyes.

"I wish you were not my brother."

He gasped and looked around.

He was back at the alley behind the club.

"Because I love you…" Edward said in a desperate tone, walking to him as he slowly stepped back.

Oddly, Jasper finally found his voice when his back hit a wall.

"You're falling for him?" He heard himself repeating the question although it was completely out of context.

"Guess I want to… you know? 'Cause then everything will be so much easier…" Edward laughed loud and shook his head. "But that's kinda impossible…"

"Why's that?" He practically whispered, his heart thundering inside his chest.

Edward got closer and flattened his hands on the wall behind him by the sides of his head.

"'Cause I'm already in love with somebody else."

Jasper swallowed hard and looked even deeper into his brother's eyes.

"You wish I were not your brother…" The words came out of his mouth without his conscious consent. "Because you love me."

And as he saw Edward nodding slowly, and perceived the longing glinting in his eyes, suddenly it all made sense, and he wasn't confused anymore.

"I don't simply love you," Edward said in a low, hesitant tone. "I'm…"

"In love…" Jasper heard himself completing his brother's unfinished sentence as his eyelids fluttered open. "With me."

The whole thing, the weird dream, the memories in it, that last sentence, the truth he could intuit behind it, it all took just a minute to dawn on him.

Jasper took a deep breath and exhaled heavily as he turned on his back on the bed and fixed his gaze at the ceiling.

He tried harder to assimilate all that without freaking out but… He didn't really have time.

"Can we talk?"

His brother's voice was deep and plain with repentance. He turned his head slowly to the direction of the sound, his heart hammering his chest unmercifully.

Jasper wasn't really in control of his emotions and attitudes, too immersed in his epiphany to discern what was the best behavior or best approach for dealing with that. His instincts took over, and he just naturally obeyed.

"You stayed away because you were hurting…" He started to say as he got up, everything settling in his mind and fitting like a puzzle. "You moved away because being around me hurt you... Because you couldn't see me with Jake…"

Edward was suddenly afraid. His brother's eyes told him he could see further than he'd ever done before…

"The reason for the anger, the annoyance, the disappointment and the pain I saw in your eyes… That was me… With somebody other than you." Jasper affirmed earnestly as taking a step toward him.

Edward heaved a trembled breath and his eyes filled with humidity.

"You told me you were not in love with Jake, and now I know you really weren't, it wasn't him you wanted..." Jasper took a deep breath and furrowed his eyebrows. "You were not jealous of me… You were jealous of him." He frowned completely as Edward parted his lips to release another heavy exhalation as the first tears rolled down his face.

Jasper stopped five feet from him and his countenance softened, his eyes becoming pleading.

"Tell me it isn't true." He asked in a low voice, looking intently into his brother's eyes, his heart so heavy he had to cover his chest with both his hands. "Tell me I'm crazy to even fathom this possibility. And I will believe you… Even if all the evidences point to another direction."

At that moment Edward realized there was nothing more he could do… His secret had been disclosed, it's was out in the open, he was exposed… And surprisingly, he didn't want to run away or mask it…

He wanted to confirm it and feel free from the weight of that secret, but he feared the progression of his younger brother's reaction. He seemed calm, but Edward knew well that those widened eyes meant he was on edge and about to flip out.

And seemingly to reinforce his apprehension, Jasper briefly squeezed his eyes shut, heaved a weighted breath and raised his gaze back to Edward's as shaking his head.

"Tell me I'm wrong, Edward." His wavering voice let it clear he could start crying at any second, his eyes desperate boring into his brother. "Please." And that was an unmistakable plea.

Edward bit his lip.

He would always want to attend to Jasper's requests, to fulfill his wishes, especially when it was something that would affect him that much. He wanted desperately to protect his brother at that moment, and also his family and himself… But he was so tired of keeping that… The secret was as heavy as the truth, if not more, and he felt so exhausted of restraining, and hiding, and avoiding, and concealing…

The reality was... He did not have any more strength to carry on with the charade.

So he slumped his shoulders in an act of evident defeat as he breathed out. Then he inhaled slowly as he parted his lips reluctantly.

"I can't." He release in a trembled sigh. "Some time ago I would. And I would do anything you asked me to… But not this." He noticed the exact moment Jasper went all rigid and tense. It didn't stop him, though. "Because I don't wanna hide anymore. At least not from you…"

"No." Jasper uttered as he raised one hand between them. "Don't say it." And he stepped back.

"You need to hear it, Jade." Edward justified in a begging voice and facial expression. "And I need to tell you."

"No."

Edward could not hold back anymore. He closed his eyes.

"I am in love with you." He stated firmly, loud and clear. Then he looked at his brother. "I have been for a long time."

It was Jasper's turn to gasp quietly.