Chapter 12: Forever

Chapter 12: Forever

"If my arms are torn off, I'll kick him to death. If my legs are ripped off, I'll bite him to death. If my head gets cut off, I'll stare him to death and if my eyes get gouged out I'll curse him to death. Even if it means getting torn into pieces, I'll get Sasuke back from Orochimaru no matter what!"
- Uzumaki Naruto, Naruto Manga


"Do you know what you've done?"

The incriminating whisper carried across the hospital room towards a barely conscious Sakura. She shifted slightly in bed and met Tsunade's betrayed hazel gaze.

Sakura said nothing.

"You've just cut your lifespan by another ten years, Sakura, you won't live to be thirty."

Tsunade's eyes were red and raw, she had been crying hours before for her student. It was another life thrown away and Sakura didn't deserve that, she should have outlived Tsunade and become head of the hospital, or trained another head medic, or something. She didn't deserve to die early.

"I know," Sakura finally spoke, her voice quiet.

"You don't, Sakura! You're only nineteen!" Tsunade shouted at her angrily.

Sakura swallowed. "I was going to die."

"No you weren't! I was on my way to heal you and then…"

They both knew Tsunade's words were complete and utter lies, but the blonde woman was beyond reason. Sakura could find nothing to say to her teacher and eventually Tsunade stood up, leaving the room.

Now that she was alone, the silence that filled the room was stifling.

The window opened and she turned her head towards it, her gaze met the last person she had expected to see at the hospital. Itachi's crimson eyes were much more intense than usual and she could almost read a meaning in them. He watched her, noticing the new small purple diamond tattoo on her forehead.

"Are you here to insult me? Call me weak again?" she asked, her voice tired.

"Why did you choose to live?"

She didn't know what to say. It had been the last question she had expected from Itachi, but then he seemed to be full of surprises today. She finally recovered.

"There were people I wanted to see. I didn't want to die and leave them behind," she answered quietly.

"Does it matter? You're going to leave them behind eventually," he said coldly.

She looked down at her hands and began to clench her starched blue hospital dress. Her voice was shaky as she spoke, "I know that. I just wanted…I just wanted to stay with them for a little bit longer."

His crimson gaze was heavy. "So you decided to live longer because you were selfish."

She couldn't take it, he was too cold and he was asking her too many questions. It was like he was interrogating her. Her eyes blazed angrily as she glared at him.

"What do you want from me, Itachi?" she demanded angrily.

He was completely silent and had not moved even a single inch at her sharp words. His Sharingan eyes watched her, waiting for a reply she didn't feel he deserved, an answer she hated but she knew was the truth. He pressed and pressed because he had to hear it from her.

"Yes! Yes, I'm selfish for wanting to live and stay with my precious people forever!"

Her breaths were coming in gasps and he had made her cry again. He had made her so angry, made her scream and sob and want to hide away from the rest of the world.

Was this what he had wanted to hear? He didn't even know why he had pushed her, but he had needed to hear it, needed some kind of confirmation that she hadn't decided to live only for him-

"Are you happy, Itachi?" she asked, her chest heaving in rage. "Are you happy now?"

And suddenly, he kissed her.

Her hands beat against his chest as she tried to push him off, tried to make him leave but he held onto her. His hand threaded into her hair and she hit him, again and again but there was no power behind her hits. The kiss was salty and bittersweet and she stopped hitting him, losing herself in him.

When they broke apart, she expected him to leave again like he always did whenever things grew too serious, too intense between them. He stayed and she didn't know if she wanted him to. He was watching her, as if he were trying to figure her out and there were a hundred conflicting emotions in his eyes. Sakura's breaths were still coming in short spurts and she wrapped her arms around him, burying her head in his neck.

"I want to live," she sobbed, "I want to stay with everyone forever and make sure that none of them ever die-"

She was trembling against his body.

She was trembling against his body and he kept his hands on her waist, simply because he didn't know where else to put them. He stood still and let her sob against him.


"He's alive, Naruto, and she knew about it this whole time," Sasuke hissed angrily.

Naruto spat at him, "She loves him, you asshole, of course she'd protect him."

Sasuke snapped, "It's an unreasonable love, that bastard is trying to kill you. You're an idiot if you still want to stay her friend."

Naruto's fists were balled into fists and in a low, dangerous voice he said, "You…you don't care about what she wants."

His head rose and his blazing blue eyes met Sasuke's, "You don't care about her at all!"

Sasuke said nothing at all, his mouth set in a firm line. He made no attempt to deny it and it was then that Naruto realized that he had just spoken the truth. He punched Sasuke as hard as he could and there was a crack as he dislocated his jaw. Sasuke stumbled, trying to regain his balance and glared back at Naruto.

"She loved you, she loved you so much that she would have died for you, she would have become a missing-nin for your sake-"

"I never asked her to!" Sasuke shouted back, angry now.

"Is this all because of your eye?" Naruto demanded.

Another silence fell and it told him all he needed to know.

"It is, isn't it?" his voice was quieter now, "You hate her because she couldn't save your eye and she had to give you one of mine-"

"Shut up, shut up, shut up-"

"She never forgave herself, Sasuke."

Sasuke's entire body was tense, his nails biting into the palms of his hands. They made half moon cuts in his skin and blood was beginning to run out of them as his chest rose and fell at a rapid, loud pace. His onyx eye was as unreadable as ever, but his cerulean one was filled with anger, frustration and confusion.

He couldn't take it anymore. He left Naruto.


There was a knock at the door and I looked at it inquisitively as it opened. At first, I thought it was Deidara from the tall blonde ponytail but then realized it was Ino. She was dressed in the medic uniform and stopped when she saw me.

"Sakura? Why are you still here?" Ino asked in surprise.

My brow furrowed and I questioned, "Why wouldn't I be here?"

Ino winced slightly but then elaborated, "Well…I mean, I saw your team at the gates this morning. I thought you'd be with them, since they're going to Sound and all."

"My team is going to Sound without me?" I demanded.

Ino whitened and said quietly, "Sakura, you didn't know?"

I instantly threw off my covers and wobbled uncertainly from not having been on my feet for a long time. Ino ran over to help steady me and told me, "If you haven't been asked to go then Tsunade-sama probably thinks you're not well enough."

"I'm well enough, damn it!" I snarled angrily.

Ino tried to hold me back but I broke out of her grip, heading towards the window. I jumped through it and could see her clearly speaking into a headset- probably alerting everyone that I had escaped from the hospital. I made a beeline for my house and changed quickly out of the hospital clothing into my standard ninja wear.

"You know…you're the one who's normally dragging me to the hospital. It's nice to see you've had a change of heart," a cheery, familiar voice said.

I spun around immediately, meeting Kakashi. His eye was crinkled with the same artificial happiness Sai had and I glared at him. I pointed a finger at him and snapped, "I don't care what you say, I'm going to Sound. I'll fight you if I have to, you can't keep me from going."

"I wouldn't dream of it," Kakashi jumped down from the windowsill he was crouched on and landed on my wooden flooring without a sound, "Though, Tsunade-hime might be a different matter entirely…"

"I'm going with my team, no matter what," I said firmly.

I waited for Kakashi to do something and eventually, he sighed, running a hand through his spiky silver hair.

"I see. Well…if you want…I can negotiate something with Godaime-sama," Kakashi suggested slyly.

My eyes narrowed. He would never go out of his way to help anyone if it made things complicated for him. I asked in a flat tone, "What's the catch?"

"Catch? My dear Sakura, I'm disappointed that you think so lowly of me. I'm simply doing this for my favourite student," he said, his mask pulling taut as he smiled and his eye crinkled again.

Now I was really suspicious, but I didn't have the time. If agreeing meant that he would leave me alone and prevent me from fighting him, then I'd say yes. I told him quickly, "Fine."

He nodded once and left in a poof of smoke.

I finished packing the dark green duffel bag Sasuke had given me so long ago, the 'Sexy Ninja' patch completely intact. I ran my fingers over the patch. It must have belonged to a relative of Sasuke's, he would never put such a thing on his bag…

I sobered suddenly as I realized the owner was probably dead.

The bag bounced on the bed as I put it down on the edge, turning away to get more clothes. My head cracked up suddenly as it fell off and scattered everything I had just packed all over the floor. With a loud, frustrated groan, I returned to it and began to pick up my stuff, throwing it onto the bed half heartedly so I could repack.

When I went to pick up the bag, it caught on something. As I inspected it further, it had caught on a rusty nail that protruded from the bottom of my bed. I tried to untangle the fibres from where it had caught on the metal, but for the next two minutes I had little success.

I grew frustrated. I already needed to repack everything and leave before Kakashi came back, now my bag was giving me a hard time?

I yanked it sharply and froze as it ripped loudly. I swore as the bag came free and hurriedly began to look over what I had just done.

What was this? The gaping tear revealed a hidden pocket inside the bag, one I had never seen before. I opened the pocket further and pulled out two small envelopes, along with a scroll.

They were all old and yellowed. Written on one in formal script were the words Uchiha Itachi, ANBU Captain of Team 15, whereasthe other one had Itachi written on it in a much messier scrawl. The scroll was sealed with a wax seal in the shape of a Mangekyou Sharingan. I looked at them with narrowed eyes.

Why were two letters addressed to Itachi and a Sharingan scroll in a bag that Sasuke had given me? He would have burned anything that had belonged to Itachi in a heartbeat, I was sure, unless…unless he hadn't known…

Just what was in these letters? And who had the bag belonged to?

I stared at the letters and scroll and swallowed thickly. Should I give them to Itachi? They could be potentially dangerous to Konoha, especially the scroll if a powerful jutsu was in there. I picked up the letter with Itachi's full name and stared at it doubtfully.

I shoved it into the bag quickly. I didn't have the time for this now, I'd sort it out once I met up with everybody else. Swearing inwardly, I realized that I'd have to sew the bag back to normal, but it didn't actually make a hole. I slung it over my shoulder and jumped out of the window, landing heavily on my feet. Wincing slightly, I continued running through the city towards the gates.

I could see the gate now and ran faster, if I went at full speed then maybe I could catch up with them in a day or so. A tall scarecrow shadow was cast on the ground in front of me and although I knew what it meant, I ran straight past it.

"You weren't thinking about going without me, were you?" an annoying voice questioned from my right.

"What do you want?" I spat at him irritably.

"Tsunade-sama was busy so I couldn't talk. I've decided to come and keep an eye on you," he explained happily.

"I don't need a baby sitter," I growled at him.

He shrugged and said, "Well, you're hardly in a position to be travelling all the way to Sound on your own with your chakra levels."

Kakashi smiled and matched my pace easily. I was suffering from severe chakra depletion after using Souzou Sansei and couldn't run any faster. It was probably stupid to think that I could break out of Konoha on my own without any chakra at all against the full guard of ANBU that were at the gates. Not that I cared very much, I just needed to find a way to get to Deidara, Itachi and Kisame…

"Ah, fine! Just stay out of my way."

"Of course, my number one student."


In another team, closer to Sound, Sasuke was inwardly seething. Had he been played for a fool? It seemed that everyone but him had known Itachi was back, had they been keeping the information from him on purpose? His hand twitched as murderous intent began to manifest within his chest, itching for his kunai.

- run, run and cling to life and his gaze had been blood red but emotionless as he stood in the streets of the now dead district for the last time as a respected Uchiha –

Sasuke would kill him. He'd draw out his pain and suffering, to make him suffer like he had, to make him beg for mercy until he finally ended it. And then Sasuke would enjoy every second of it. The clan would have their revenge. And this time it would be by Sasuke's hand and Sasuke's hand only that Uchiha Itachi finally died.

But first he had to take care of Orochimaru.

Meanwhile, Kisame sighed and glanced at Itachi and Deidara running beside him. They had to travel with a couple of other teams, which meant their speed had been restricted and he was thoroughly bored. He just wanted to get to Sound already so he could fight, he was itching for one after the last big battle. But, with the standard of Konoha's jounins as it was, it didn't seem he'd be there anytime soon.

Deidara looked pissed off, either because Sakura wasn't with them or because he wasn't allowed to fly Kisame didn't know, but he was almost certain it was the first. Sakura had been in the hospital for less than a week for using a jutsu that had healed her, though Kisame really couldn't see why.

Deidara and Kisame didn't understand Souzou Sansei at all; to them it was just another jutsu. They knew scarcely anything of kinjutsu and didn't know the toll it would take on Sakura. Itachi did not know what Souzou Sansei was specifically, but he had heard enough of Tsunade and Sakura's conversation to make a rough guess. A strange, unexpected sense of relief had filled him when he heard she was staying behind.

"Damn it, this is really pissing me off, yeah," Deidara exploded finally.

"You think you're the only one," Kisame muttered darkly, "these Leaf ninjas are pathetic."

"Argh, I wish Sakura was here. She'd at least make it interesting, yeah," Deidara groaned.

Kisame rolled his eyes and said smartly, "You'd like that wouldn't you."

Deidara shot him a withering glare and Kisame grinned back at him knowingly. Itachi's eyes flickered to the artist for a split second before reverting back to the path ahead, his gaze trained on the leading ninja. He subtly quickened his pace, leaving the two oblivious ninjas behind.


It started with a hall of mirrors, each a reflection of myself with a hundred thousand differences, a hundred thousand different stories. In a big one, I was standing with Naruto dressed in Hokage robes, in the next I was the one wearing the robes and in the one afterwards I was kissing Sasuke on the cheek with a smile on my face. In a smaller one, I could make out Shino and me hugging in the one beside it and in another one I was standing with Kiba.

I began to figure out what the mirrors meant, they were showing me different paths my life could take. There were too many though and they were overwhelming. They stifled me and I instinctively began to run towards the other end of the hall, looking for an exit. I hit a dead end but that wasn't what shocked me.

I stood in front of the biggest mirror of them all.

The picture in it animated and came to life, but it was painful to watch. I couldn't bring myself to look away though and stared helplessly as another Sakura walked alongside Itachi. She was smiling as she spoke with him and he although he didn't say much in response, he seemed content in her presence. Then she threw her head back and laughed, the sound echoing through the hall, and I wanted to know what they were talking about, what had made her laugh. The beginnings of a small smirk pulled at the corners of Itachi's mouth and she stopped to kiss the corner of his lips gently.

I turned around and ran the other way, hearing her laughter reverberate off the walls and suddenly all the mirrors around me were no longer showing other possibilities. They only showed one, they only showed me and Itachi and I knew it would never, never happen and I didn't want to see it-

I was stopped by another huge mirror and looked into it, half afraid of what I'd see. It was another scene but it confused me and I didn't know how to react when I watched it play out.

It was of Deidara and me, holding hands. He looked miffed and embarrassed, but another Sakura walked with him, swinging their hands in a childish manner. He said something that made her frown and she snatched her hand away angrily. Then Deidara laughed and kissed her on the forehead, then on the cheek and then on the mouth. She began to calm down and returned the kiss, their fingers threading through one another's again. They broke apart and she was glowing with happiness.

I looked over my shoulder and saw the scene of Itachi and me playing on permanent repeat on the other side of the hall. Was I meant to choose between Deidara and Itachi?

I immediately ran for the other end, towards Itachi but then hearing Deidara's voice made me hesitate. I looked back at the image of Deidara and I and walked back towards it again, slowly. The smile on my face was genuine and so happy, I looked back at the one of me and Itachi and the smile was more subdued. Where did I go? What was I meant to do?

Doubt settled into my chest. I had thought that if I had ever had to choose between Deidara and Itachi that the answer would be Itachi in a heartbeat but now…now I wasn't so sure. I tore my eyes away from Deidara and Itachi and instead stared at a mirror directly in front of me.

My reflection stared back at me.

"…kura-chan? Sakura-chan?" a grating voice broke through the dream like sunlight and I jolted awake, my chest heaving up and down.

I ran my fingers through my hair and glanced up at Kakashi. His only onyx eye was widened slightly and he drew his hand away tentatively from where it rested on my shoulder. As I avoided his gaze, he stood up and turned. With a jerk of his head, he gestured for us to leave again and after a long minute, I followed him.


Next Chapter Preview : Underneath the Man

"Itachi, damn it, just let her heal you!"

But the letter had never reached Itachi. If he had received the letter in my hands now…would the massacre have taken place?

"What the hell did you do to her, Uchiha?! You didn't have to fucking attack her, you bastard!"

"You will not tell anyone."


S.O.S. SELANDORA! We don't understand the story!
(Crap, don't ask me! Neither do I-)

What's with the quote from Naruto at the top?
Yes, I think explanation is needed. Sakura wants to do anything possible to go after Itachi and Deidara (which ties in with Naruto's 'if my arms get torn off I'll kick him to death' stuff) because she really wants to be with them and help them (which ties in with 'I'll get Sasuke back no matter what!' because at the end of the day, they really just want to be with their precious people.)

Why's Kisame so insightful and mature? He was completely different in Defining Evil.
Um, yes, this is the result of very bad planning, or rather, a lack of it. Any future aspiring ffnet writers, REMEMBER TO PLAN. You get into stupid messes like the one I'm in right now if you don't.

H'okay, let me explain this. In defining evil, I rushed into things and didn't properly think about each individual character. It was probably because I read so many awesome itasaku fics and I really wanted to make my own. It was only with defining duty that I sat down and thought, "Holy crap, I completely did Itachi/Kisame/Deidara wrong. What was I smoking when I was writing Defining Evil?"

Wait, I still haven't finished answering the question. If you think about it, Kisame is easily the oldest member of Akatsuki (minus Madara) and he's always shown as a polite guy who respects people, especially Itachi. It's only when he gets into fights he becomes this loud brash guy.

Holy crap, please don't turn this ending into another Never Ending Rainfall. I'll kill you if you do.
Don't worry, I will too. Sakura does have to make a choice at the end of it all, ladies and gentlemen.

Hmm, how come Deidara's suddenly getting all these big romantic scenes with Sakura? Is he going to win her over?
Chee, just wait a minute. Itachi's big scenes are coming. He's going to have like five chapters of them with Sakura, I swear, so I need to compensate with Deidara right now. I made an accident though and had to rewrite two chapters (oh God, the agony. I'm still not done with the second one) and unfortunately had to push back another big itasaku scene. Then suddenly my hands began typing on their own and I came up with a gigantic deisaku scene which Itachi's going to have a hard time beating.

Are Deidara and Itachi going to have their fight eventually?
That's a secret. (This means that the author is still undecided.)

Wait a second, wait a second. Why's Itachi alive in Defining Duty anyways? What happened to him in Defining Evil?!
Oops, I should have explained that. Deidara met Sakura before Itachi was executed and he gave her a bird (God, I hate that scene- Deidara is so wrong. I'm rewriting that story once DD is done). Itachi had planned that out because he knew that Sakura would find a way to see him again. So, Sakura went and saw him in his cell secretly and the bird Deidara gave
her slipped in with her. It was left behind when Naruto told her to get going and then the guards changed shifts.

The captain of the ANBU squad holding Itachi was the next guy on duty, so Itachi knocked on the door pretending he needed to go to the loo (there's something so weird about putting Itachi and loo together in the same sentence-) and the bird flew out. It was a weak explosive and knocked out the guy. This is where Pein helped, he can perform the body transformation jutsu so he disguised the captain as Itachi and Itachi as the captain. The execution took place except the captain was executed in Itachi's place.

How old is Sakura?
Nineteen. Deidara is 23, Itachi is 25 and Kisame is 32.

Why didn't Itachi protect Sakura instead of Deidara?
Itachi does trust Sakura to some extent. She knows way too much about him and she's kept her mouth shut so far, so that's got to count. He trusts her to stay alive, and if she doesn't then he knows Deidara will do everything in his power to protect her. Plus, he has a reputation to protect.

Which Naruto pairing do you like the best, Selandora?
I feel a bit like a traitor to DD, but I absolutely love narusaku. My next story is going to be a narusakusasu called Say, but if you haven't read the recent Naruto chapters it's going to be really spoilerish. Even though I've said I hate Sasuke and complain how annoying love triangles are, it's just been killing me not to write it. But, I like writing deisaku. It's more fun. I've been writing itasaku for a while now so I think I'm done with it for a while.

There was an anime con in Hong Kong and I wasn't here. : (
"Alright, just tell me what you want and I'll try and get it for you."
"Okay, okay. I want a Naruto frog wallet, a Lavi from D. Gray-Man plushie, a D. Gray-Man poster, a Kon from Bleach plushie, a Konoha Missing-nin hitai-ate and any pins you can find from The World Ends With You, a keyring of Haruhi Suzumiya and the dude with her, and any other pins of animes that I know and like and if they have any posters of Ikuta Toma or Nishikido Ryo you have to get them, if you get me anything with Sasuke on it I will fucking kill you but I'll gladly rape you if it's Itachi or Deidara-"
"I'll write a list."
- me and JJ

Selandora (is kind of eating lunch right now. OH! By the way, she had her birthday on Monday, so now she's 15.)