The feeling was exhilarating.
Kate continued to soar up into the air as the swing went higher and higher. Every time she made her way back to the ground, she would feel Rick's firm but gentle hand on her back, pushing her forward, so that she could soar up more.
After months of being confined in closed spaces, this was heaven. Kate imagined that she was flying. After all the trials and tribulations, her wings had finally healed and she was able to spread them at last. It brought her a sense of freedom. It uplifted her spirits infinitely.
She was not Detective Beckett anymore. For that brief moment, she was not the woman bearing on her shoulders the weight of her mother's murder. For that blink of an eye, she was not the tormented soul languishing behind the impenetrable walls. For that tiny spec of time, she was the fun loving green eyed girl who had been hiding for so long from the gruesome reality of death and loneliness.
She let out a shriek of excitement as the swing hit the peak of the arc, the cascade of her brown hair flowing in the wind.
"Look, look, that's Richard Castle..."
"Oh my God! It's really him."
The excited giggles and commotion that followed burst the blissful bubble that Rick and Kate had managed to wrap themselves in.
Unnoticed by both Kate and Rick, the lazy afternoon had morphed into a pleasant evening and the sparse population of the park had risen to a crowd. Apparently, her expression of exhilaration had drawn the attention of the soccer moms who brought their kids to the park for practice. Now that they had spotted Rick, they had gone wild.
Rick stopped pushing the swing and stepped aside to face the incoming crowd of near crazed women. Kate's swing slowed down and gradually came to a halt beside him.
Rick was pissed off. Rick had finally got some time with his muse, with his love after what seemed like eternity. He had finally managed to bring Kate out of her shell. Kate's exhilarated laughter had not gone unnoticed and Rick was pleased that she was having fun. He wanted to stretch the moment as long as possible. He wanted it to last forever.
Then these giggling moms in search of their afternoon gossip had to ruin the moment.
By the time Kate's feet hit the ground, they were completely surrounded by a dozen of squealing women, struggling among themselves to get as close to Castle as possible. One of them produced a sharpie miraculously, seemingly out of nowhere.
"Mr. Castle, will you sign this for me?" Someone held a scrap of blank paper in front of him. "Mr. Castle, please sign my shirt." "Mr. Castle, is that Nikki Heat with you?" "Mr. Castle may I have a photograph with the two of you?" "Mr. Castle, I am your biggest fan." "Mr. Castle, you are so brilliant." And they continued...
Muttering under his breath, Rick put up the most charming phony smile and obliged them. He had been famous long enough to know that trying to avoid the crowd would only make things worse. There would be more struggling, the women would create a scene, others would be drawn in out of curiosity and the crowd would get larger. So he tried to oblige these women and get out of the place, as quickly as possible.
Rick looked at Kate and smiled apologetically. He knew that Kate was an immensely private person. Besides, Kate had been enjoying "their moment." He didn't want her to be upset or angry.
Kate just nodded at him reassuringly, with a small smile.
Rick started moving through the crowd with Kate behind him, a forced smile plastered along his face. Slowly but steadily, they moved towards the gate and then out of the park, leaving the women busy in their excited chatter. When they managed to camouflage themselves in the endless stream of New York population on the sidewalk, they breathed out a sigh of relief.
"I am sorry." Rick said quietly, walking slowly beside Kate. He wanted to reach out and hold Kate's hands and never let go. He wanted to know desperately what was going on in her mind.
"It was not your fault Rick."
"I should have known better. God, I hate being a celebrity..."
Little did Richard Castle know that being a celebrity and getting mobbed in the park had saved them both from death.
(...)
They walked silently for some time. Neither of them knew where they were headed.
Rick wanted to know desperately what was going on in Kate's mind. He wanted to feel the warmth of her skin. He wanted to know that Kate was indeed okay with what had happened earlier. He wanted to hold her hand. But Kate had her hands firmly in her pockets. She seemed to be debating with herself about something.
Rick didn't know what to say. So he waited, his mouth shut.
"Rick, we need to talk."
Her distant voice sounded almost ominous. Rick closed his eyes in despair for a brief second. He wished with all his heart that this was not he thought it was. He was afraid that all the chaos at the park had dragged Kate back to the maze of confusion and indecision about their relationship.
"Okay... Let's get some coffee." He replied, trying to sound casual.
They entered the small cafeteria. The lady at the counter seemed to know Rick for she smiled and nodded at them and then led them to a secluded corner. She nodded at Rick again and left the table wordlessly. In a moment, a bubbly teenager stood by their table, waiting for their order.
After the waiter left with their order, they sat at the table silently, lost in their own thoughts.
It was Kate who broke the silence.
"So, what are you doing these days?"
The question brought Rick out of his thoughts with a jolt. He paused for a moment, thinking of what to say.
"Trying to finish a story." It was truth. Kate didn't need to know which story it was.
"Hmm..." Kate ran her fingers over the chequered table cloth, her eyes fixed on her fingers.
"Why wouldn't you give me your phone number?"
Rick had no answer. Why was Kate asking all the wrong questions?
Kate's fingers stopped drawing imaginary patterns on the tablecloth. She lifted her eyes and locked them with Rick's. Kate was reading him, like a book.
"What are you hiding from me, Rick?" Her voice was soft and gentle.
Rick closed his eyes tightly. He didn't want to lie and he couldn't speak the truth.
"I... I can't tell you."
"Why not?"
"I just can't..."
"Rick, you won't tell me where you are living. You won't give me your phone number. You won't tell me where Martha and Alexis are. I am not stupid, Rick. You are up to something. What is it, Rick? What are you hiding from?"
"I will tell you... later."
Kate sighed. She had tried to bring up this conversation plenty of times over phone but every time he had managed to evade. Now they were face to face and Rick looked like he was ready to bolt through the door.
"Are you doing something related to... to my mom's killer?"
"Why would you say that?" He should have known that Kate would guess correctly. Kate was a smart woman.
"I will take that as yes."
The bubbly waiter was back with their coffee. After placing their mugs in front of them, he nodded happily to both of them and left.
Kate closed her eyes and shook her head in despair. She had always known that Rick was doing something stupid. Her worst fears had just been confirmed. Rick was never a good liar. She leaned back on her chair and let out a sigh.
Rick didn't know what to do. He knew that Kate had caught up with his intentions. He shouldn't have agreed to meet Kate. This woman was goddamn perceptive.
He kept gazing into the swirling mist that rose from his coffee mug.
"Rick, do the boys know what you are doing?"
"No."
"Do you know who the killer is?"
Rick wanted to escape. His body just wanted to get up and run out through the door at top speed. It was one of those "fight or flight" situations... literally. He wanted to flee. He did not want to fight with Kate. But he could not tell her the truth... The truth would kill her.
"Kate, please don't talk about this."
"Rick, do you have a name?" That obsession, the despair that Rick had seen in her eyes months before was back. She was hyperventilating. Her hands gripped her warm mug tightly and she leaned over the table. Her eyes were once again fixed on Rick's, commanding, coaxing, begging for the truth.
"Kate..."
"Just tell me the goddamn truth, Rick." Kate's voice rose.
Rick didn't know what to do. His nightmare was coming true.
"I can't."
"You said you love me."
"I do."
"Then why can't you tell me?"
Rick wanted to scream. Why wouldn't Kate understand that he couldn't tell her the truth because he loved her?
"It will kill you, Kate."
Kate impatiently ran her fingers through her hair. She closed her eyes and took deep breaths while still leaning on the table. She wouldn't break down. She wouldn't fall apart. No, she wouldn't.
"Rick, don't you see I am already dead? I died twelve years ago in that cold, dark, alley."
"No." Rick's voice rang loudly, in conviction. "You didn't. You survived that day. She was your mother. She died that night. Your dad got broken. You got broken. But you are alive."
"Rick, you don't know anything about me." It was like déjà vu.
"Kate, don't kill your father."
"What about you, Rick?" Why was she doing this? Why were they having the same conversation as that fateful night? This time, however, he wouldn't make the same mistake. This time he would not downplay the truth.
"If anything happens to you, I swear, it would kill me. I can't see you throw your life away." His voice trembled with emotions.
Kate was silent. She sat there, looking into her coffee, seeing nothing.
"It's too late for me to back off now, Rick. I am too deep in this now. I can't walk out."
"If you can't walk out, neither can I."
Kate grew impatient.
"Why?" she almost yelled.
"I am your shadow, remember?"
Kate closed her eyes. She willed away the tears that threatened to break free.
"My life is a mess."
Rick leaned across the table to reach her hand and gently squeezed it.
Kate opened her eyes and looked at him, again.
"Rick, if you are doing something dangerous, at least take me with you. You shouldn't have to fight this alone"
Rick's heart jumped at the thought. They could be together again. They would bounce back ideas and theories, they could... NO! What was he thinking? He had left Kate alone at the hospital because he needed to do this alone. He had set so many elaborate plans, he was working so hard to find a clue, a link that could undo the Dragon. He could not bring Kate into this. When it came to Johanna Beckett's murder, Kate's sense of logic always flew out of the window. Once she knew, she would run blindly into the animal's lair. Months of pain and loneliness and preparation would go waste if Kate got killed.
"We can't do this together."
"Damn you, Rick!"
Their conversation was broken by shrill ringing of Kate's cellphone. Kate jerked back and brought the phone out of her pocket. It was Lanie calling.
"What is it, Lanie?" Irritation was evident in her voice.
"Oooo... you are pissed off at me. What did I interrupt?"
"A conversation."
"Yeah, right." Kate could almost hear Lanie smirking at her.
"Why did you call me?"
"It's getting late and I was wondering when you would return."
"Umm... I am leaving the cafe, now."
"Hey, don't cut your date short for me."
Date. Kate almost laughed out. This had been one hell of a date so far.
"I will back soon, Lanie."
"Is everything okay?"
"Yeah. Bye."
Kate didn't wait for Lanie's response before disconnecting the call.
Rick was watching Kate intently as she was talking on the phone. Once she disconnected the call, she stood up and picked up her jacket from the chair.
"I need to leave. Laine is waiting for me."
Rick sighed resignedly. "Okay, let me pay for the coffee." The coffee they didn't drink.
They walked back silently to Lanie's apartment. Neither of them was willing to break the silence. When they ultimately reached their destination, they stood outside for a moment, looking at each other in awkward silence.
"So..." Kate started.
"Hell of a first date, huh?" Rick smiled, partly forced.
"Yeah..." Kate nodded.
"Don't forget to take your present with you." Rick took out the copy of his book from his bag and handed it over to Kate.
"Oh God!" Kate slapped her forehead when she remembered that she had left the flowers on the park bench in their hurry to leave.
Rick understood Kate's reactions. He smiled. "Don't worry Kate. You will get fresh roses tomorrow."
Kate smiled. Rick could be so sweet. She leaned forward and brushed her lips over his. She didn't deepen it into a kiss because she didn't want to add any new emotions to the violent turmoil going on inside her.
She stepped away from him. "Night, Rick."
Before she could change her mind and mash her lips against his, she turned around and went inside.
Rick kept looking at her retreating form until she closed the door.
"Night, Kate." He mumbled to himself.
He wouldn't make his usual promise of 'Until tomorrow.' He wasn't sure if there would be a tomorrow.
A/N: I am very worried about this chapter, particularly about the conversation between Kate and Rick. It had to be intense, emotional and believable. I don't think Kate and Rick are the type of people who yell at each other in a coffee shop. So they had to be quiet but expressive. Kate would never back down without a proper explanation. It was very difficult to write and I am not sure how I feel about it.
About the sniper part, I did a bit of research (read: 'watched loads of action movies'!) Any sudden, unexpected movement, either on the part of the target or people surrounding them, usually deters the sniper from firing. If a sniper hits a wrong target, it alerts the intended target and leaves behind too much of mess. The Dragon's men cannot be that sloppy.
Please let me know how you feel about this chapter. It is very important. I am writing this after long hours of duty at the hospital... Leave me some love :)
Disclaimer: I own Castle. No biggie, I also own the Universe! ;)
