Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. I do not profit from this story.


Happiness

The Tale of an Unstoppable Force and an Immoveable Object


Chapter Twelve: Let's Get Physical


"Inuyasha, we need to talk."

Okay, so you must be wondering: why the hell would my day start like this? Because it's Tuesday morning at...

"What the fuck are you doing in my room at six in the morning?" I grumbled, burying my face in my pillow after reading the alarm clock. It's bad enough that Sango is my personal assistant and thus, is with me all the time. It's even worse that she thinks of me as a friend and thus, will come to me whenever.

Thus, my life sucks.

Thus.

Fuck I hate mornings.

"Leave m'alone 'itch," I mumbled, keeping my eyes tightly closed. If I couldn't see her, she sure as hell wasn't there.

"I'm not leaving Inuyasha. I want to go to the gym and I figured since we needed to talk about Kagome that you should come." Sango sounded like it was a very reasonable explanation, which it would've been if it wasn't six fucking a.m. Sango sighed. "You're losing muscle definition and I'm starting to see a belly that is less 'washboard abs' and more 'dirty laundry'."

...

Shit. Really?

Opening my eyes, I scowled at the light that blinded me. Goddamn curtains. I needed new ones. "Sango, I want new curtains."

"I'll plug it into my Blackberry when we're in my car driving to the gym."

I groaned. "Why must I go again?"

"You're getting fat."

Quickly I looked down at my stomach, observing the cuts of muscle and decent definition. "You're lying."

Sango made a sound dangerously like a tsk, shaking her head. "It's the lack of sex you've been having," she said. "You're burning less calories on a regular basis. It's starting to show."

"I'm not– Wait, how the hell do you know about my sex life?" This was not fair at six in the morning. Not fair at all.

Staring pointedly at me, Sango waited patiently for me to put the pieces together myself.

Oh. Miroku.

Duh.

I really need to kill him.

"It's too fucking early," I said instead, flopping back into the pillow and closing my eyes. "I'm staying in bed."

"That's interesting," Sango murmured and it didn't take a genius to hear the wickedness in her voice. "Well Miroku's coming over in let's say, hmm, five minutes to talk your taxes over. It's that time of the year again."

I cringed. Last time we talked about taxes, Miroku was nearly thrown out of the window and my house was about to be torn down. It really just worked out to my financial planner being stupid with poorly timed jokes and me being way too serious and believing him. And then when I finally stopped believing him, he started telling the truth which...didn't end so well.

No further details are needed.

"I hate you," I grumbled, throwing back the covers and preparing to slip out of bed. This was cruel and unjust punishment for something I'm pretty sure I didn't do. "Get out of my room so I can change."

"I'll be more than happy too," Sango replied, smiling huge now that she had won.

Getting out of bed was probably the hardest thing I've had to do all year. And that's saying something considering I lost all electrical power for thirty minutes back in February. Yeah. Horrible. I know. Unfortunately it didn't get any easier as I stumbled into the bathroom, turning on the faucet and tying my goddamn hair back. Why did I keep it this long again?

When I re-entered my bedroom Sango was gone but Bang's soft growling in the living room was proof enough for me that she was still waiting.

Dammit.

Sango just smiled irritatingly at me as I stormed past, keeping up to speed as I opened the door. "Bathroom Bang, go on."

Bang growled lower as he passed my assistant but left the apartment anyways, heading towards the elevator and using his nose to push the down button.

"I'm surprised a man like you has a dog like that," Sango said suddenly.

I grunted in reply.

Bang returned eight minutes later, licking my sweatpants, growling at Sango before finally going back to bed in the living area.

"All set?" Sango asked. That was a rhetorical question though, no matter how sincere it may seem. The woman was smart, witty and deadly. She knew better than to ask anything needing an answer from me at this time in the morning.

Fucking taxes. If it hadn't been for that I would've suffered Miroku's torturous rambling if that meant I could sleep longer. Six in the morning was the most ungodly...

"You fucking bitch," I exclaimed, pointing a finger at her just as the elevator doors opened to the underground parking.

Wait. When did I get in the elevator?

Huh.

Sango rolled her eyes. "You obviously got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."

"I wonder why. Oh yeah, it's because it's six -fucking-am!" I yelled, nearly hysterical. I could feel it clouding my mind, blurring my vision to red. "Miroku doesn't get up at this time! You were bluffing like a fucking porn star!"

"Uh, you mean poker star?" Sango carefully corrected. "And how else was I supposed to get you to come to the gym with me?"

"Fuck you."

"I'd rather get hit by a bus."

"Suck Miroku's dick."

"And get gonorrhea? Fat chance. I'd rather fuck you."

"Go–" Wait. "Seriously?"

Sango rolled her eyes, getting in the driver's seat of her yellow Camaro and starting the engine.

Well, good morning folks.

The gym was only ten minutes away and I stared at Sango in shock when she produced not only her membership but mine. "How–?"

"I bought you this in January when you told me to."

"And you never gave me the card?" This was just getting ridiculous. The whole waking-up-early, followed by sex-talk-with-Sango and finally personal-assistants-lie-to-you was really not pleasing me. In any way, shape or form. Fuck. My. Life.

Thank you and goodnight.

"Because you would lose it," Sango snapped back. "You are brutal to be around in the morning."

"IT'S FUCKING SIX!"

"It's almost seven actually," Sango again corrected, looking at her Blackberry before hiding it in her locker. "The horror of being awake when the sun is in the eastern half of the sky. Congratulations, you just popped your a.m. virginity."

"Fuck you."

"Are we really going through this again?" Sango asked, exasperated.

"No," I replied. "You already changed the answer so now it's a totally different conversation."

Sango just stormed off to the elliptical. Women. Go figure.

After a minute of debating whether life was worth it or not, I made my way past rows of weights and equipment until I reached the cardio station. Sango wasn't hard to spot. Anyone as hot as her, wearing a bright pink and black outfit, would have a neon sign that read 'hot babe'. Only Sango's would specifically read 'hot babe who hates men because they have cooties. Contaminate her and die'.

She even had her don't fuck with me scowl in place. Oh joy.

I slowly got on the elliptical beside her, frowning at the awkwardness of the machine. "How do you even move on this thing?" I grumbled, attempting to start and nearly falling on my face.

"Easily," Sango replied, increasing the incline and resistance. "So you and Kagome went on a date Sunday."

Really? Really? "Sango–"

"Don't 'Sango' me," my assistant snapped, passing me a brief glance. "I mean she mentioned that you were seeing each other–"

"She did?"

Sango sighed. "I told her not to. Obviously she didn't listen. It's not like I'm surprised."

Well that's kind of...harsh. "You told her not to?"

"Of course I did!" Sango exclaimed, the black-haired beauty red-faced. I couldn't tell if it was from screaming at me or from working out. She wasn't sweating so it was probably the first one. "You, you asshole, treat women like porn magazines! They're great to get your rocks off the first few rounds but the moment your little swimmers have tarnished every single solitary page, you throw them out!"

My eyes widened and I slowed on the elliptical, staring at her. "Excuse me?"

"And you know why?" Sango continued, as if I hadn't spoken a word. "Because you are not happy."

"What the fuck does happiness have to do with Kagome?" I snapped, a little pissed off at my assistant. I wasn't Prince Charming – I knew that. But I'm not exactly the Big Bad Wolf either.

"Everything!" Sango yelled. "It has to do with everything about you and Kagome! You're not happy with your life. You've got money, amazing friends, a great fucking roof over your head but no one to really share it with. You're not happy and you trick yourself over and over with each woman, thinking that maybe when you're fucking them you'll find it. Sorry pal, but you're very wrong."

"I do not!" I seethed. The goddamn fucking son of a motherfucking bitch–

"And now Kagome is the next target. She's the new prize." Sango shook her head, uncapping her water bottle and taking a sip. "I told her and Kagome didn't listen."

"Why?" It wasn't what I wanted to say but the word flew out of my mouth before I could end it.

"Because that's Kagome," Sango whispered, her eyes looking distant even as she continued her fast-paced workout. "She- she's this immoveable object Inuyasha," she said, turning her dark eyes to mine. "When she has decided something...that's it. You can't budge her. Right now she's picked you."

I should've felt pleased. I should've jumped up and down and cheered victory in Sango's face. Instead I wanted to go.

Fuck did I want to go.

"She picked me," I said slowly, blinking down at my slow moving feet. This shouldn't be so complicated and fuck, why did that...bother me? "After hearing all of that – how I'm a manwhore and a son of a bitch and a rich asshole – she still picked me."

Sango nodded, glancing away and taking another sip of water. "We have fifteen minutes left of cardio. Did you want to do weights after? I'll spot."

No. No I didn't.

I wanted to call Kagome and shake some sense into her, tell her that no woman was dumb enough to subject herself to that. And worse, this was over me. I just wanted to screw her and sure, I was...infatuated...but that never lasts. It hasn't ever lasted with other women. Why would Kagome be so different?

And...she picked me. She picked me.

Why the fuck would she do that?

"Yeah, I'll do a few sets," I murmured, continuing to move on the stupid machine even though everything felt oddly numb.

Fucking a girl wasn't supposed to be this complex. Sure, it was taking longer to get into bed with her...maybe that's it. I've never had the issue of all the pre-drama crap.

I need to stop thinking about her. Now. This is...not exactly what I want because she'll definitely throw dishes at my head in the end but hey. That's never stopped me before.

And fuck you lungs.

Stop clenching every fucking second I think about her.


To Do:

#21: Figure this shit out with Jack Daniels. He'll know what to do.


Tuesday evening had been wicked. Miroku came over and we dealt with taxes. Then we got smashed.

Wednesday morning sucked because hangovers suck. So I drank some more. The cure for hangovers? Keep drinking.

Wednesday afternoon proceeding into Wednesday night was awesome.

Thursday morning...not so much.

Especially not when Kagome had called me.

"Hey, what are you up to?" Kagome had asked, that goddamn happy-go-lucky tone in her voice. Why was she always this happy? "You doing anything tonight?"

"Um, kind of," I mumbled, trying to sort through what was possibly the worst hangover in existence. Oh god. I'm going to puke.

"Are you sick?" Kagome pressed, now sounding worried.

Dammit woman. Stop fucking being so fucking amazing. And perfect. And undeniably hot. Just be a bitch and turn ugly for me. Yeah? Thanks.

"Pretty much dying," I whispered, sitting down slowly onto the tile floor. "I'm...really glad you called."

NO INUYASHA YOU ARE NOT.

But I was. Even piss-drunk and surrounded by hookers I couldn't get her out of my head. Kagome was just there. It was probably the reason why I couldn't get it up during the lap dance. And it was probably why I said no to Miroku's offer to pay for a night of unstoppable fun.

I'm so fucked.

Kagome had talked to me for a bit longer, her voice soothing and sweet until she hung up and wished me well. I sat on the floor leaning against the wall, just trying to imagine her being there. Then I thought about how she'd react when I finally fucked her and didn't make it a habit. Women were never this complicated before. Why this one? Why Kagome?

I threw up pretty damn quickly.

I had spent the rest of the day feeling sorry for myself, getting up only to feed Bang and let him out. Neither Sango nor Miroku came by and for that I was grateful.

Now I stood in front of Sesshomaru's house with a bouquet of flowers in my hand. Barely three knocks on the door and Rin's smiling face beamed at me. "Inuyasha!" she cheered, throwing her arms around my neck and hugging me. "I'm so glad you could finally make it."

"Glad to be here too," I whispered, hugging her back momentarily before stepping into the house. "Now what's for dinner?"

Rin laughed, shaking her head at me. "You are always hungry." Poking me in the stomach, she frowned. "Have you lost weight? You look thinner than last time."

"Uh, I've been sick," I replied, scratching the back of my neck. Realizing the flowers were still in my hand, I reached out and gave them to her. "These are for you."

"Really, I thought you were giving them to Fluffy."

...

"Fluffy?" I asked, cautiously stepping into the kitchen where my older half-brother sat reading the paper. "She has a nickname for you and it's Fluffy?"

Sesshomaru sighed, turning his honey-brown eyes on me. "I thought you were dead."

"Nope, still kicking," I answered, smirking as I patted him hard on the back. What a fucking pussy-whipped son of a bitch. His life must suck.

"It must have only been a wish then."

The table was already set and I sat down at my usual place at the head of the table. Sesshomaru took the other side and Rin sat in the middle. Usually she was there to referee between us, or that's how I thought of it. But something...something was wrong here.

"Rin, you placed the settings wrong," I called, frowning as I saw four sets of settings at the table. Two on one side and two on the other. Hmm. What is wrong with this picture?

"I did?" Rin asked, quickly glancing at the table before rolling her eyes. "No I did not. Don't give me a panic attack Inuyasha. I want everything to be perfect for dinner tonight."

"Then who the hell is the fourth?"

Sesshomaru glared at me but just before I could say anything more, the door bell rang.

"Ooh, that must be Kagome!" Rin squeaked, clasping her hands together before running into the entranceway.

"I forgot to mention," Sesshomaru stated in his usual monotone. "Rin called Kagome. She's here for dinner." Fan-fucking-tastic.


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