I dance to the music wildly, mucking around with the other boys near me. I smack the sticks I'm holding together, going along to the beat we've created. I begin to laugh and spin and when I stop I see a bright thing in the distance among the dark trees.
"Lena!" The figure calls. Her voice is feminine and young. The music begins to fade away in my ears and I step back from the circle, causing Pan to look up at me though continuing to play. The figure has the voice of my sister. I would recognise it anywhere. I get flash backs of when she called my name that night; the night of the accident.
"Lena! Help!" She calls again. The sticks fall out of my hands and my head starts to get clear. I move towards the figure in the trees. Pan stops playing the music but the other boys continue to dance, too far in the trance to stop. Pan slowly walks behind me, following while I walk to this figure. I can't tear my eyes off of her, especially as I get close enough to see her face. It is my sister. She's an angel that's come for me. The area around her was once bright and lit up like she was a beacon, now the light has dimmed and she's no longer an angel, she's human. She's my twin sister and she's standing right in front of me.
"Ebony?" I ask, blinking back my disbelief. She looks how I remember her from before the accident. She's fourteen and she and I share that same appearance but for some slight differences. Her face shape was more round, she had blonder hair and she was always two inches shorter than me. Though now I've got two years on her and there are many more differences.
"Who are you talking to Lena?" Pan asks.
"Ebony" I say, turning around to face him. "Peter, she's right in front of you."
"Lena, it's so good to see you!" Ebony says, moving towards me.
"I've missed you Ebb." I say, reaching a hand out for her. Pan walks out in front of me suddenly, cutting off my view of Ebony.
"Lena, she's not real. You're seeing your sister because your subconscious wills it." He says, reaching out for me. I step back and narrow my eyes at him.
"I know she's not real Peter. But I get the opportunity to look upon my dead sister's face and be able to talk to her. Would you really try to take that away from me?"
Pan stares at me wide-eyed. But it's not because of my bluntness or my question; it's because of the single tear that rolls down my face. I move my hand to the tear to catch it. I stare at it in disbelief. Pan goes silent, and walks back to the campsite, leaving me with Ebony. She looks at me with a sad smile. She closes the gap between us and places her hand on my chest, over my heart.
"There's a war going on inside of you." She says. I place my hand over hers and discover a strange feeling. It's like I can feel her but I can't. My skin to hers is just a shadow, a memory of times past.
"Only the war has three sides to it. You want to go home, but you also want to be here for Felix." She adds.
"And what's the third side for?" I ask, squeezing her hand.
"Lena, you were always the smart one. Everything I'm saying is just what you already know deep down." As she says this she turns to look at someone else. I follow her gaze to see Pan sitting on the rock in middle staring at me. The boys continue to dance and howl around him.
"No!" I snap, turning back and moving away from her touch. "You're wrong. I hate Peter Pan. He's evil, cruel and a menace. He's incapable of love." I add.
"That's all completely true… and yet. The heart wants what the heart wants. You mustn't be that great a person either, huh, Lena?" Ebony says with a scowl.
"Why are you doing this?" I ask, confused. Her face goes blank and Ebony becomes frustrated.
"Like I said, this is all you! I wasn't exaggerating when I said it was a war. You hate yourself for what you feel. You think that returning home is your only salvation. But I can tell you what will make this all seem easier…"
"Tell me then."
"You're a Lost Girl Lena. Succumb to it. Stop caring. Give into the wonders that is Neverland and let it own you- mind, body and spirit."
"But if I do that I'll lose my humanity. Why is it that I must lose that when someone like Felix has been here forever and he still has it?" I ask this and Ebony immediately calms down. She takes a breath and smiles at me.
"Now you're thinking straight. Go to Felix now Lena. Go find him." She says this excitedly as she digs her hands into the pouch where I keep the map. She holds it out to me and just as I go to take it I blink, noticing that I was holding it the whole time. I shake my head, trying to clear it. This is it… Neverland is starting to get to me. Without looking back I bolt ahead, reading the map as I go.
It takes half an hour to get to the echo caves and I've been making sure no one followed me. I begin to walk in to each of them, poking my head in and looking around. I'm just coming out of one, my search unsuccessful when I hear a male's voice.
"Lena?" Felix asks, "What are you doing here?" I stare at him wide-eyed.
"You're not in a cage." I say slowly.
"No, I'm not. You need to go back." I look at the ground, my mind ticking. I suddenly grab one of my throwing knives, hurling it near him and not at him. T's hits a tree near his head and he furrows his eyebrows.
"When did you get out?" I scream at him.
"Shortly after Pan put me in." He says,
"You were supposed to come for me!" I shout, "You were going to come with me and show me how to get home- so we could both leave here." Felix fixes his glare on the ground. I see his jaw jutting out as he grinds his teeth, as he does when he's frustrated.
"You don't understand…" He begins.
"No, you're right. I don't!" I lower my voice but remain angry while I walk to the tree where my knife sits wedged in. "It seems I just can't trust anyone around here." I shove Felix aside while I pull the knife out and put it in my pocket.
"What's all this noise?" Pan asks, suddenly appearing near one of the caves.
"No! I do not want to deal with you too!" I say, facing my hand outwards to him.
"Lena, I didn't think it was right to return. Not when you were in love with Pan." Felix says to me. I walk back so I can get a look at them both.
"But you knew the love wasn't real. You should have come anyway. And by the way, I don't love Pan." I say to Felix.
"She hasn't for the past couple of days." Pan says. I look at him with a raised eyebrow.
"I've known the whole time; I'm not an idiot Lena." Pan answers my unasked question.
"And Pan's not all wrong when he says you're manipulative," Felix begins, "You've been playing both of us from the start." He says, defensively.
"Frankly, it's what I like most about you." Pan smirks at me as he says this.
"Shut up! Both of you just-" I begin, rubbing my temples.
"Ooh, look at this, it's time for the choice" Ebony says from behind me, walking into join us.
"No! Ebb. I need you to go away." I say to her, annoyed.
"Who's Ebb?" Felix asks.
"Her twin sister, Ebony, who died when they were fourteen. Lena's seeing ghosts." Pan says keeping his smirk.
"Go on Lena. Choose your man." Ebony says to me.
"Ebony, shut up. I don't want either of them." I say, making Felix and Pan exchange a glance.
"On the contrary, you want both of them." She says.
"No, I just want to go home." I snap back at her.
"But you can't. You're a Lost Girl. We need you here. I need you here." Pan says to me.
"So do I." Felix says more to Pan than to me.
"Alright!" I finally shout. "I've made a decision." I say. The two boys shuffle, waiting.
"I choose me." I scowl at them. "Now piss off, all of you. I need some time alone."
"What about Jasper? He needs you back at the camp." Pan interjects. I throw my hands up and walk back to the camp. Much to my distaste, Felix and Pan walk together behind me and Ebony falls in at my side, matching my purposeful march. Pan pipes up, addressing me.
"Did you want to know the deep secret Felix holds, Lena?" He says.
"Pan, please." Felix says. I don't bother turning to them, instead I hold up a particular finger to Pan in an obscenity.
"His secret was that he'd always be loyal to me, even though he loves you." As he says this I can hear the amusement in his voice. Hearing this about Felix should make this whole issue harder. But when I exchange a glance with Ebony and she just raises her eyebrows. I already knew he loves me. Even if I didn't want him to, believing that he didn't made it easier to trick him and lie to him. Felix remains completely uncomfortable in this silence and Pan continues talking,
"You really are amazing Lena. You're a warrior when you fight and you're an assassin when you open that pretty little mouth and trick everyone you know." He chuckles.
Eventually we reach the camp and I see that the rest of the boys have fallen out of the trance. They're huddled in a group and suddenly Jasper is hoisted above their heads. They're carrying him to a target they've set up and some are already preparing their daggers. I run over to them,
"Stop it right now!" I yell. Jasper is screaming and crying and the boys stop to looks at me. I take Jasper from them and he hugs close to me sniffing against my cloak.
"You're all a bunch of monsters!" I say. I look for Nik and see him tied up against a second target. I walk over to him and undo the rope on his wrists.
"Lena, I'm sorry I tried to stop them-" He begins.
"It's okay, Nik, it's alright." I tell him, waving him off. Jasper is still hugging close to me in my arms when I turn to Felix and Pan who are just standing there, watching.
"This is the behaviour you two condone. It's sick!" I yell at them. Felix looks at the ground and walks away.
"Darling, Jasper is to be a Lost Boy. They do this to teach him to overcome his fears, that way nothing else will scare him. Even if he is in a dangerous situation." Pan says this to me calmly. I roll my eyes at him.
"Jasper would barely be in school in my world! Ugh, we're leaving." I say, storming off.
"Where are you going to go?" Pan calls after me.
"Anywhere but here." I call back to him.
We walk out of the campfire clearing and into the forest. It's about an hour of walking before my arms get tired. I whisper in Jasper's ear,
"Jasper, do you think you can walk for a bit? You're getting heavy." He responds in a little mumble and nuzzles his face into my cloak. I listen to his breathing and determine that he's fallen asleep, great. I begin to recognise the area we're in and walk up to a large tree that I know holds a secret tree house.
"Tink?" I call up, quietly but firmly. There is no answer.
"Tinkerbell?" I call again. She must be out, for whatever reason. I move to the ladder and shake Jasper a bit to wake him up.
"Jasper, wake up. Climb this ladder." He mumbles but opens his eyes. He begins to climb the ladder tiredly, not putting much strength into it. I climb pretty much behind him, making sure he doesn't fall. When we get to the floor I lead him to the hammock set up as a bed.
"Lie down." He curls up on the hammock and I put the blanket on him. He grabs my hand as I try to move away.
"Sleep next to me Lena, please?" He asks me. I sigh and walk to the other side, awkwardly sliding in next to him. His small body moves easily to my disturbance on the hammock, rolling over to my side. He pulls the blanket over both of us and I kick off my shoes. I put my hand behind my head as a pillow and I shut my eyes.
In the distance I hear something strange, it causes me to open my eyes to look around. The sound I hear is crying. I close my eyes again and squeeze them shut. What is that? Since my body is finally able to rest I find that I can slip into a dream easily, but the echo of the crying stays in my head.
I'm lying against a tree, leaning on a boy's chest. Our fingers are intertwined and my other hand is running along the soft smooth petals of the flower bed below us. I stare at the hand I'm holding and notice something peculiar… it's not Felix's. I turn my head to see Pan smiling down at me. His other hand is running through my hair gently.
"This is surprise… you're not meant to be here." I say to him.
"And yet I am…" He says with a smile, putting his lips to the top of my head and giving me a quick peck. I hear the crying again in the distance.
"What is that?" I ask Pan.
"It's the Lost Boys, sobbing for their loved ones." He says simply.
"That's not right… I would've heard them when I slept right near them." I say as I sit up to face him properly.
"It was different when you came…" He moves his hand to gently stroke the side of my face. "They didn't cry because they had you nearby. You kept their fears away."
"I did?" I ask incredulously.
"I needed a girl in the camp; a feminine touch to the place. And the boys needed a mother-figure." He says, pulling me gently to lie with him again.
"I thought you brought me here because I was 'destined to be a Lost Girl'" I say, moving my hand back to his.
"You are; the two just happened to match nicely."
"This whole time I thought they were just a bunch of savages…" I say, still disbelieving. He chuckles lightly.
"And they are. But they're our savages." I feel a smile form on my face.
"Lena, wake up!" Jasper pulls me back to consciousness. I sit up, blinking at him,
"What's wrong?" I ask.
"I'm hungry." He says this with an uneasy expression and he's holding his stomach. I look out the window to see that the morning light has passed and I slept in for an hour or two.
"Okay, we'll go find something." I say, getting up and putting my shoes back on. As soon as we walk outside, I begin my search. I see a nearby berry bush and lead Jasper to it. I take out a handkerchief from one of my pouches and begin to load it up with berries.
"Don't eat the blue ones." I tell Jasper as he begins to help me. We get enough berries to feed ourselves and find a log to sit on and eat them. Eventually I give Jasper the last one and he stands up, no longer hungry.
"Now what?" He asks me.
"I think we should go back to the camp." I say to him, standing up.
"I don't want to go back there!" He complains.
"I know you don't like it there. And I would love to get us home… but for now, we need the Lost Boys and they need us. There are far more dangerous things out there than a few crazy boys. Suddenly Jasper freezes, looking at something behind me.
"Like that?" He asks, wide-eyed. I turn to see what he's looking at. It's the shadow, floating there and watching us. It begins to speak though it had no recognisable mouth. Its voice is deep, dark and what I would call pure evil. It's so sinister; it sends a chill up my spine.
"Lena Murdoch. Come to me." It says. I begin to take a few timid steps forward.
"Don't!" Jasper urges, grabbing onto me.
"Stay back, Jasper." I say, pushing him off me. I take a few more steps towards the shadow.
"What do you want?" I ask it.
"You have been causing quite a stir in Neverland. Little, weak Lena." Its voice thunders.
"What are you?" I ask.
"When you arrived and put a wedge between my Lost Boys, you began to thaw a heart that I need to stay frozen." It says to me, leaning in my direction slowly.
"Peter Pan…" I say, understanding.
"I could just kill you…" It begins, making every hair on my skin stand up. I hold back a scream, clenching my hands into fists.
"What's stopping you?" As soon as this escapes my lips I feel my body being pulled. The shadow has grabbed me and it's flying me far in to the sky. I scream and grip onto the shadow's arms, not wanting to fall.
"DO NOT TEST ME LENA MURDOCH." The shadow bellows. I would feel the rush of energy from its anger if it weren't for the already whipping wind against my clothes.
"What do you want?" I scream over the wind.
"I want you to leave Neverland. I will set up a portal for one in Skull Rock. You are to be gone by midnight." The shadow releases me and I begin to plummet to the ground. The shock is too much for me to even attempt to scream. The wind flails and flicks at my limbs, causing me to turn and tumble. Just as I near the treetops, I feel a pull on my shoulders to steady me and I'm dropped to the ground, landing on my feet. I look up to see the shadow flying away. Jasper comes running up to me and he jumps against me. I wrap my arms around him instinctively and I fall on my behind to the ground. Jasper is hugged on to my chest.
"Are you okay?" He asks, leaning back to look at me.
"I'm fine. But we have to go." I move him off of me and stand up. I pull out my map and locate Skull Rock. My breathing is still heavy and I can't seem to slow it down.
"Lena?" Jasper asks, moving his hand to mine.
"Let's go." I take him by the hand, rushing off to get to Skull Rock.
Tinkerbell pushes her way through the shrubs to the location of Pan's most recent camp. She stops short of the clearing, peering in through a gap in a bush. The Lost Boys are sitting around, sharpening knives and throwing daggers at each other as usual.
"I allow you to stay here on the island…" Pan begins, his voice suddenly appearing behind her. She turns and scowls at him.
"On the condition that you don't interfere with any of the Lost Boys." He finishes, with a sinister look.
"I assume you mean the Lost Ones. Lena is quite lovely, you know, I see why you like her…" Tink says with a smirk and narrowed eyes.
"What do you want?" Pan asks, getting impatient.
"I have news… you'll want to know this." She says.
"Tell me then, before I send the Lost Boys on you." He says.
"Lena is headed for Skull Rock. She's found a way out of Neverland." She says, inspecting her nails.
"That's impossible… how do you know this?" Tink suddenly looks to the ground, not wanting to say more.
"I just do. Now I have to go." She begins to move in another direction.
"And why would I believe you? What reason do you have to tell me this?" Pan calls after her. Tink stops and turns to look at the boy.
"Lena is good. I don't want her getting hurt… She's in danger Pan." She says, before hurrying off. Pan thinks this through. He'll need to fly there to get there quickly… but there's no way he'll be able to convince Lena to stay. Without another thought he rushes over to Felix, grabbing him by the arm.
"We need to get Lena, now." He says while he moves off, Felix in tow.
