Hey everyone! So sorry for updating this so late! School has been crazy, once again. Good news though - the 2010 Channy Awards voting is finally up.
Go to
2010channy . blogspot . com
Please vote for Entwined & Laced for Best Future Channy & Best MultiChapter Story. At the same time, vote for me for Best Author and vote for my other stories!
Run Away for Best Channy Break-Up
To Live Again & Please End My Waiting for Best Get Together Channy
Definitely Breathtaking for Best Holiday
Once again, thank you so much to all who nominated me and my stories! You support means the world to me! Don't forget to vote for your other favorite stories and authors!
I am so sorry for a short chapter. I promise that I will make it up to you in the next chapter! I think, though, there are about 3-4 chapters left for this story. However, I am still not sure if I want to expand their story beyond what I have planned. Let's see.
So, please enjoy this chapter!
Endured & Suffered
"I don't know what to do, Tawn." Sonny's voice was muffled by the pillow her head was presently covered by. Beside her, Tawni continuously stroked her hair, trying to calm down the girl who was near hysteria when Tawni received a phone call an hour prior.
"It'll be alright, Sonny. You'll get through this. You and Chad. This is just a blimp in your relationship."
Sonny looked up, and the affect of the break up on her was truly evident. Her face was flushed; her eyes were red and slightly swollen. Her hair was disheveled, and she simply shook her head. "I don't think so. I think this time it's for good."
Tawni's eyes softened, trying to reason with her. "But Sonny..."
Unexpectedly, she let out a humourless laugh. "I have hurt him so much. I never realized it until now. When he threw those words at me, I never thought that a person could be so hurt. And nonetheless by me."
Sonny sighed deeply, letting the tears fall freely down her cheek. She was so tired of holding back her tears behind her ears. She just wanted to let everything out, so she couldn't hurt inside. Because hurting inside was the worst feeling she ever felt.
Tawni, on the other hand, was at a loss for words. Even though she had grown close to Sonny over the past few years, she could never completely understood what ever went through that girl's mind. She wanted to hope for the best, for both Sonny and Chad; but even Tawni knew that Chad could only take so much heartbreak from a girl who wished for something that maybe Chad couldn't do. Despite Tawni's thought that maybe he had changed for the better.
Inhaling deeply, Tawni let out a huge breath. "Sonny..." she hesitated once she gained Sonny's full attention, "I think that maybe you should talk to Chad. You know, try to understand what this means to both of you."
Those words only made Sonny sob harder.
It seemed as if it was an eternity or rather the umpteenth time he had walked around this block. After Chad stormed out of the hotel room, he walked around aimlessly in downtown New York. He had no sense of direction, his mind somewhere else.
Even though it shouldn't have surprised him, when he found the letter he couldn't help but feel incredibly jealous. He didn't want to admit to anyone, but his career was hitting a slump. He received no offers for movies, and whenever he went to auditions, he never got a call back.
His manager had tried to get him many gigs, but after a while she just gave up. Even though he had Mackenzie Falls as his safety net, he knew that it was eventually going to end. So when he saw Sonny's offer, he couldn't help but feel angry at the world.
But now he felt absolutely rotten for thinking of that first when he should have been proud of his girlfriend.
Now, ex-girlfriend.
He sighed, raking his fingers through his disheveled hair. It was absolute torture knowing that he had hurt Sonny when he broke up with her. But how many times had he been hurt by her?
He had to be the better person; he couldn't feel good for hurting Sonny so badly. Knowing that walking around one more block wasn't going to help his confused and hurt mind and heart, he took out his cell phone, dialing a familiar number.
An hour later, the two of them sat there in silence, unsure of how to begin. Tawni had left the room as soon as Chad walked in, whispering in his ear, "Don't screw it up."
Sonny placed her hands in her lap, twiddling her thumbs nervously. She glanced up at Chad, who was looking down at his hands. They both wore nervous and uneasy expressions that a passerby would have believed that they were awkwardly in love. The truth was that they both were still in love with each other, but they realized that maybe that wasn't enough to save their relationship.
Sonny was the first to begin, "Chad..."
Chad glanced up, flinching slightly at the sound of her voice. Sonny felt uncomfortable under his keen gaze, but her unwavering voice was confident as she begun, "I'm sorry, Chad."
Chad found it hard to hold back the tears that were threatening to face down his face. He didn't want to show Sonny how vulnerable he was at that moment. Simply, he nodded, bringing his attention elsewhere.
Sonny continued, "What happened earlier today made me realize how much I have hurt you over the years. And the only person I can blame is myself. I guess, when you spoke to me like that, I was deeply hurt."
Chad tried to retort her by saying that she wasn't forgiven and that she could never be forgiven. However, seeing her broken face, he didn't have the heart or the energy to do so. Once again, he nodded in reply.
Sonny bit her lip, as she tried to comprehend his actions. She wanted him to tell her that it was alright and that they were alright. But she knew better than to hope for a miracle.
After a few minutes of silence, Sonny needed him to say something. Anything. "Chad...say something..."
Chad looked up at her, unsure of where to take this conversation. "I'm sorry too Sonny."
Sonny let out an audible sigh of relief, mistaking his words. Chad swallowed, his throat suddenly constricting. He didn't want to tell her the truth of his words, but he knew that he had to so he could get his closure.
"I'm sorry for letting my heart be trampled by you so many times," Chad whispered.
Scrunching her eyebrows in confusion, she let out a quiet, "What?"
Chad finally looked at her in her eyes. Her wide beautiful brown eyes that enraptured him the moment he laid his eyes on her. "I can't do this anymore Sonny. As much as I want to, we just can't."
Letting go, Sonny's tight hold of her emotions was released when tears began to fall down her eyes steadily.
Chad continued, breaking his gaze from hers, unable to see her cry. "We both want different things and we both are too different. It never would have worked, Sonny."
Sonny nodded, trying to understand his viewpoint. In truth, she did understand him, but she didn't want herself to believe it the fact that they were doomed from the start. She wanted some assurance that the past three years of their lives was not waste.
As if hearing her thoughts, he continued, "But please don't think that I regretted the last three years. I have cherished the times we've spent together immensely, and I will always think of the day I met you as the day my life changed for the better."
"I know," she let out a strangled whisper.
"Sonny..." Chad's own voice started to break.
Sonny wiped her tears and tried to put on a soft smile. "I think this is for the best, Chad. I think it's best that we remain friends."
Chad nodded, audibly gulping before looking down again at his hands. Sonny closed her eyes, affirming her love for him inside her thoughts.
She looked at him and whispered, "I love you."
Chad's eyes widened, upon hearing her confession for the first time. When he realized that this would be the last time he would hear it, his own heart broke even more. He let out a coarse, "I love you too."
Sonny smiled, as she stood up. Chad followed her actions, stepping towards her. She looked up into his blue eyes, her own eyes glistening with tears. Chad brushed his fingers against her cheek, and Sonny rushed her right hand to stop them and held them tightly to her cheek. She closed her eyes as Chad saw her face intently. Suddenly, he felt arms wrap around his torso as he felt her head smash against his chest.
Sonny inhaled his scent, instantly realizing that she won't be able to smell him again. She let out a teary response which only made Chad's heart ache harder to endure.
"I'll miss you."
The airport terminal that following day had been busy, but Sonny found it unnecessary to be arriving at the airport three hours before her flight. After she and Tawni finished checking in and were about to go through security, a thought occurred to her.
"Where's Chad?" she looked around her to see if she could point out the blonde haired man.
Tawni replied quietly, "You didn't know?"
Sonny whipped her head around, gazing intently at Tawni's solemn expression. "What?"
"He took an earlier flight to LA. He was hoping that he could get there earlier so he could get some sleep at home before tomorrow."
Sonny's eyes were cast downwards as she mumbled, "He did that to avoid me, didn't he?"
"Sonny..."
"No," she looked up, laughing slightly, "it's alright. We both wanted closure and this is going to be the only way to do so before we can be friends."
Tawni didn't want to continue this talk, but something was on her mind. She was itching to ask Sonny. "Hey, Sonny?"
"Hmm?" Sonny replied absentmindedly, looking through her phone.
"What are you going to do about your living arrangements?"
Confused, she asked, "Living arrangements? Oh..." A sudden realization struck her mind, as she scolded herself for being so dumb. "We haven't discussed that yet."
Tawni was surprised, but tried to feign indifference to this news. "Oh, okay..." She trailed off once she took her pink bag and started rolling it towards the security check-in.
Sonny shook her head in amazement at Tawni`s sudden changing of the course of the conversation. She picked up her luggage and was able to follow Tawni when she saw a familiar blue eyes staring intently at her.
She gave him a sad smile, unsure of what else to do. He raised his hand into a small wave, before he turned around and continued going through security.
Catching a glimpse of Chad made her realize how much she was going to have to suffer without him. Her insecurities had always been there, even when she was dating Chad. She had felt as though she was progressing in terms of her insecurities.
Now, as the tears cascaded down her cheeks, she felt as though she was going backwards.
All the while, enduring and suffering the pain her heart could not stand any longer.
Always exploring and unleashing,
ღ 'rEd RoSe-StArFiRe-RoSeFiRe'
