Chapter 12 – Plans and then there are plans
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The plan or prank was simple. Tonks was to say that Tina would seduce Harry to get information but this could only work if they could be together. Tonks stressed that broom closets were for sex not much information would be obtained. Now pillow talk would provide greater amounts of information but you had to have a pillow on a bed. Therefore give Harry private quarters and Tina/Tonks would move in and information would flow.
"Harry the old prude says absolutely not. He wants me to do anything for the information and he won't cough up a room."
"Think he will let you come to Dun-Potter for Christmas?"
"Are you inviting me so you can try to seduce me Mr. Potter?"
"That's the idea Tina, I have a pool and a nice soft bed." Tonks was sharp and picked up that someone was around.
"Can we come, I'm sure we could enjoy a nice pool and a soft bed." The Patil twins were definitely making an offer I needed to consider.
"Let me see if I can get the wards changed for my friends to come visit. You sure your parents won't get upset being it's the Christmas break?"
"They are returning to China for the relatives and our matron could care less."
The word got around fast to my friends so I had Dobby authorize my friends 'floe' access through the wards. I invited Minerva to come Christmas day to celebrate if she wished. I also had a talk with Tonks.
"Harry I am seven years older than you and haven't been a virgin in years. You're cute and you do have my interest but we both know that this will never turn into a lasting relationship. I will be coming for the Christmas break if nothing else but to see how you get attacked by all those girls. You do have quite a following for being dead." She gave me a kiss and headed off.
The Weasley twins of course got whiff of the rumors and was making my and Ron's life at Hogwarts interesting. Ron got a lot of ribbing about the lack of girls and I got ribbing over having too many to handle properly, they of course volunteered to ease my terrible work load.
/Scene Break/
"Being the last weekend before the break I was dashing thought the stores in Hogsmeade Village for Christmas presents. Then I headed to Diagon alley as I needed Galleons and to find some super presents. A lot of kids didn't have a lot of money so it was the thought that counted but I had millions of Galleons. A rare book turned Hermione on faster than anything so I had to find something that didn't insult by being too expensive yet special.
Dobby popped in every so often to haul away what I was buying. Dobby was the hardest to buy for but this year he should be ecstatic, well he always was ecstatic but maybe especially ecstatic. I was just finishing up in Hogsmeade Village with a butter beer before I headed back to Hogwarts. As I stepped out of the establishment Draco and seven goons were waiting for me. No Crab and Goyle but real hired goons or gorillas probably from Knockturn Alley.
"I've had enough of you Potter and we are going to teach you a fatal lesson."
The goons were not messing around. Each had a weapon of choice. A couple had knives, a couple had clubs and a few were hands on type, Draco was the wand wheeler.
"Gentlemen I am obliged to warn you that I am a permanent red belt and you are putting yourselves into a possible fatal situation."
They did not appear to understand what I said but Draco added, "Yea, fatal for you, get him."
I was not one to yell like Hermione did but I have faced multiple opponents while I was blindfolded and expected to win. Mr. Satou was a hard task master and found great pleasure in sending some of his very best students to try and stomp me into the mats. I was not blindfolded this day. Draco's wand was one of the first things that were broken, then his knee on my second pass through the goons. I told myself as I ducked and rolled that I needed to up the difficulty level each morning on my exercise time. I was actually raising a sweat. Someone called the Aurors who arrived and had to call St. Mungo for healers before they could move any of the attackers. Madam Bones arrived to survey the results only to find awed Aurors and a crying Draco Malfoy.
"Lord Potter could you please explain to me how this massacre occurred?" Madam Bones demanded.
"Yes Madam Bones, Draco has had issues with me in school and he hired these goons to teach me a lesson…"
"A fatal lesson is what he said!" yelled one of the town's people.
"Well yes I stand corrected? Mr. Satou my instructor in Tae Kwon Do would most likely be upset at me for making such a mess. I did warn them that they could get hurt…"
"That he did Mum, warned them right proper he did."
"Jones take that mans statement, get a pensive memory if you can. This I have got to see."
/Scene Break/
"I have been yelled at for leaving you alone by the old goat." Tonks sighed.
"Well he should have given you personal access to me twenty-four hours a day." I grinned.
"Mr. Potter please report to my office after you have finished eating." The old goat had bleated.
I looked to Minerva and she nodded.
"Want to come Tonks so you can show your full time coverage of the dark wizard?"
"I'll pass this time Harry I think he will be ticked enough without me offering suggestions."
Dumbledore was waiting with Snape when we entered with our wands drawn.
"Is that necessary Minerva, wands drawn?"
"Don't even go there Albus your trustworthiness has long expired."
"So the brat has got you believing in his fairy tales?" Snape sneered.
"Snape put a lid on your inane spewing of dragon dung." I smiled.
"Harry my boy you have gone dark and I must restrict you to the castle for the entire break." Dumbledore twinkled. "Your uncalled for injury of Draco and innocent bystanders is disturbing."
"Being delusional again old man, I am Lord Potter you cannot restrict my movements.
"After your dreadful performance in Hogsmeade I have set the wards so you may not leave the castle."
I just laughed out loud and said, "Please hold your breath till the next time you see me." I turned and started to leave. Snape fired off a stunner which I shielded. I then stalked towards him. Dumbledore and Snape both fired off spells but my shield held and I got up to Snape and punched him in the nose. I made sure it was at an angle because his nose broke as well as part of his skull, he hit the wall and crumbled in a heap of robes and moans. A little 'Duro' charm to my fist provided the crushing blow. Dumbledore continued to fire curses and spell at me but of course my shields held. I walk to his desk amid showers of sparks from his curses. "You old man have lost your mind and your touch in doing magic, retire." I ensured Minerva's shielding was covered by mine and escorted her out the door. Dumbledore continued to fire curses. I did not see Dumbledore's bird watching intently from its perch.
/Scene Break/
I wonder if I called Dobby and asked him to transport me if the wards would try to affect my physical form. In my spirit form I 'faded' to Dun-Potter days before the break started. All those invited knew the address so all I had to do was put up with a few days of boredom. That's when the 'floe' lit up and Tina entered.
"Hi sexy, it's you and me for the next two days got any ideas what we could get up too?"
"Are you serious?"
"Of course who do you want in your bed tonight?"
"Tonks it's your choice, I know you as Tina but you decide if you want to do this. I'm just a Horney guy."
"Ok Tina it is but I get the option to change." And she did throughout her stay at Dun-Potter.
/Scene Break/
It surprised me that on the first day of school break that everyone showed up. Dobby was ecstatic and a pool party was organized as rooms were assigned.
I have never seen such small bikini's in my life. Well if you exclude Luna she showed up nude and did a butt bomb right into the pool.
The holiday was unbelievable, the Patil twins wanted to do it together. Lavender teamed up with Tina. Luna just enjoyed the time being nude in the pool.
On Christmas day everyone was prim and proper for Minerva arrival but I don't think we fooled her.
"Harry I have been informed by the Headmaster that private rooms have been assigned to you to keep your dark nature from innocent students. Albus has taken your disappearance from the castle quite personal." The entire room cracked up in laughter."
"Thank you Minerva."
"I assume you have figured out who Tina is?" Minerva asked.
Tonks changed to her base form, "Yes he is quite aware of everything."
"Excellent."
I could see why Tonks preferred her other forms as she was quite dumpy looking. That of course wasn't of any major importance. Tonks was Tonks.
/Scene Break/
Upon arriving back at Hogwarts I was again called to the Headmasters office and called a dark wizard and assigned private quarters so I didn't corrupt the other students. Draco was back but limping a bit. His snotty attitude was still unchanged but he left me alone, so far.
Ron however was destined to be my next problem. Not only was Lavender sitting in our compartment on the train but near me at the Gryffindor table. Ron could only see Lavender sitting with me and doing a lot of fawning. He missed that the other girls did the same. What really drove him nuts were all my friends sat at the Gryffindor table around me. Ron became a Draco and started on Luna as vent for his frustrations. No one could say that Luna was not a bit different but still a very nice person not to scratch his eyes out.
"Harry did you see what was in your quarters?" Tonks giggled.
"I know, just watch out that all that are obvious doesn't make us lazy so we miss the hidden listening charms."
Pop
"Dobby what brings you here?"
"Your most pleasant gift of help is covering for me, could Dobby be of help cleaning your rooms of all the old goats devices?"
"I would be most appreciative of your help Dobby.
Dobby snapped his fingers and a pile of runes and assorted trinkets disappeared.
"Dobby you seem a little down could I help?"
"Masters present of a new helpful elf was liked very much by Dobby until she wants to bond first."
"Dobby you know I know nothing about elves or magic so what is the problem?"
"Dobby must have the permission of his master to bond with another elf." Dobby's ears drooped.
"So you're saying that she won't marry you until you have my permission?"
"Yes Harry Sir."
"Does she want to marry you Dobby?"
"Very much Sir but she is very strict with elfin laws."
"Well you two have my permission if both of you want this."
Dobby was gone without the traditional pop along with all the junk he got out of the room.
/Scene Break/
The next morning at breakfast Tina and I entered arm in arm. We had a very nice night talking about this and that. As usual we sat down at the Gryffindor table.
A few minutes later Luna floated into the Great Hall and sat next to me after giving me a kiss on the cheek and a hug. "I can't wait until we are married Harry."
"That's stopping you Luna?"
"Oh no, but you must have your fun before you settle down and become alive."
"Will I be settling down soon?
"That's hard to say there are so many paths but they all lead to the same ending so don't despair I still love you."
"Thanks Luna that means a lot to me." I had no idea what she was talking about but she was nice and she said she loved me so she wasn't an enemy. The statement of marriage confuse me but then I was distracted.
Arriving arm in arm the Patil twins arrived and hugged me together and kissed each my checks in unison. They took seats across from me.
Lavender came in about that time and gave me a hug and kissed my cheek. Ron exploded food from his mouth and yelling that I was using my fame to screw every girl at Hogwarts.
For that I got applause from a lot of the girls in the hall.
Ever enraged Ron noticed that he was pointing at me with a spoon so he threw it away. The spoon landed in the pumpkin juice at the head table spraying orange juice on the Headmasters silver robes, the ones with the shooting stars.
Ron then ripped his wand out with his grease covered fingers and shot a curse at me. However the wand slipped and the curse hit the points jar showing the rubies for one of the houses. More exactly the Slytherin point jars. The Slytherin's becoming enraged and fired curses at the Gryffindor table which caused a volley of curses from the Griffindor's.
Again, behind my shield, I and the girls slipped out of the hall. Madam Pomfrey was busy late into the night undoing curses, hexes and spells. We all headed to my quarters and chatted into the night, snacks provided by the elves.
Morning brought breakfast and the realization that potion was in a few minutes, a two-hour potion class with Snape.
It really was a shame that such a talented man should be such a sour spiteful slug. He pointed his wand at the board and said begin and scowled at everyone. I smiled and waved my hand when he wasn't looking and thus change the potion listed on the board.
I did not sabotage the existing potion but changed it into a completely different potion, one that would have some interesting results.
The point was he didn't care, he happily vanished Gryffindor potions as they were not as he expected but never checked the Slytherin's potions. After a while a gas sprang from one of the Slytherin's caldron. When he went to vanish that potion three more sprang to life. Soon the room was full of a vapor causing everyone to laugh at nothing. A lot of the class was shocked when Snape burst out in laughter, it was also quite a terrifying sight. The potion was a modified cheering potion.
When the twins stopped laughing at lunch they threatened pranks upon my body if I continued into their pranking territory. They wanted a reputation to follow them to their joke shop if they ever got Galleons to open one. I had PJ&H look into the matter.
/Scene Break/
February brought another Hogsmeade visit and a bit of a problem. Harry Potter, me, was in tow by a gaggle of female students. Ron was in detention and stewing, Draco was with Millicent and glaring at me that Pansy was now part of my gaggle. I'm sure I missed hateful glares from other boys who though that the girls around me should be theirs.
It would be a shame if someone who had all this attention didn't have the Galleons to keep up with all this attention. As Tonks said it wasn't going to last but it was fun right now. That fun changed about an hour into our arrival in Hogsmeade.
Voldemort was not playing around this time. He decided to make an appearance but remained behind the Deatheaters, trolls and giants. I had long ago decided I was not going to kill. It could happen accidentally but I was not going to intentionally kill. Those black ribbon memories of Riddles were enough to convince me to never go there. However, Trolls and Giants posed a large and dangerous problem. The Deatheaters could be stunned, Voldemort could be scared but what did you do with giants? They all had spell resistant skins and were mentally dense as a rock.
Since we were caught on the main street with the bad guys coming in from the vacant fields behind Zonkos I sent the girls to The Three Broom Sticks. Well here goes nothing I thought and I 'faded' to the shoulder of the closest giant. When I gained physical form I hit the beast with a 'Conjunctivitus' to his eyes. All it did was make it open its mouth to growl so I hit its teeth with 'Densaugeo' and watch its teeth grow and grow. I hit its club with an 'Engorgio' and 'faded' to the next giant. I figured that if they couldn't lift their clubs they couldn't use them to do damage. I managed to do this to the next two giants before I headed to the half-dozen trolls. They broke my 'Incarcerous' and even I didn't have the power to keep a 'Levicorpus' going. I hit on a powerful 'Tarantallegra" which cause the surrounding Deatheaters problems avoiding the trolls two-step.
By now we had town's people and Aurors and even students fighting the invaders. I decided that Voldemort should now have my undivided attention.
