"We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit."

-E. E. Cummings

12

Only Those Worthy

With nothing to do, Harry left the confines of the Slytherin common room to search the castle. He liked the idea of being the only student at Hogwarts. To Harry, it seemed he had to explore the castle since no one else was around to do it. And Harry was pleased to.

Since he wanted to search the most he could in the time he had, Harry went to the seventh floor, wanting to go top to bottom. He climbed the marble steps as he made his way up towards the top of the castle. As he walked, he kept his eyes on the step or the floor in front of him, anticipating what he might find.

The deserted corridor was like any other, but he knew it was a common place for Gryffindors to be. He knew his father had probably gone by here numerous times a day when he had gone to school here.

Harry went and stood in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady, who didn't notice him standing there since she was talking to a friend.

As he stood there, he pictured the Gryffindor common room in his mind's eye. He had seen it in the middle of last year, with its bright and luscious reds, and the couple windows bringing light into the room. He remembered seeing the other students sitting around, talking happily while a warm fire blazed on.

A small smile was brought to his lips, but it was also an empty one. He had never really gotten rid of the feeling that he somehow belonged here, and not down in the Dungeons. After all, his parents had been Gryffindors. But him belonging here was impossible. The Sorting Hat had chosen Slytherin, not Gryffindor. Maybe he was just different than his parents.

Footsteps echoed off the stone walls. Harry turned to see Professor McGonagall. For a second, Harry thought he was in trouble, but there seemed to be a hint of a smile on her face. Besides, school hadn't even started yet. What could he have possibly done wrong already.

"Hello, Mr. Potter."

Realizing that nothing was wrong, Harry said, "Hello, Professor."

At first, it seemed McGonagall was going to walk past him, but she stopped, standing next to him. She, too, looked at the portrait. "Not many people know that those worthy enough, who aren't Gryffindors, are allowed to enter the Gryffindor common room," she said, still looking at the portrait. "The same goes for the other common rooms as well. But you need a certain type of worth for each one. You need to be worthy."

"Worthy? What exactly does 'worthy' mean?" Harry asked, looking at McGonagall. Her gray hair was pulled back in her usual tight bun. She looked ready for the upcoming year.

"Worthy by Gryffindor standards, not Slytherin. What do you think it means?"

Harry turned away from her gaze, looking instead at the floor. He understood what she meant by Gryffindor standards: not just pureblood. To Gryffindors it meant more than what blood a person was and where they came from.

"I think it means that those worthy have to be brave, thinking of others before themselves," said Harry. "And if that's true then I'm not worthy."

"What makes you say that?"

"I'm not brave," Harry said, looking at her.

"You may not be a Gryffindor, Mr. Potter, but that doesn't mean you aren't brave," said McGonagall kindly. There was a soft twinkle in her eye that Harry had never seen before. "I happen to remember you rescued Mr. Weasley, Mr. Malfoy…and Professor Snape, risking your own life to save theirs. If that's not bravery, I don't know what is."

There was a pause as Harry thought about what McGonagall had said. Did that mean there was a chance he could enter the Gryffindor common room.

"Professor?" he asked. "Can I try entering the Gryffindor common room?"

McGonagall nodded. "The password's Meander."

Harry moved toward the portrait. He could feel McGonagall's eyes on him. He heard his own faint footsteps as he neared, which caused the Fat Lady and Violet to realize he was there. "I didn't know students came this early," said Violet. The Fat Lady told Violet to be quiet before asking, "Password?"

"Err…Meander," Harry said uncertain. The Fat Lady, however, gave a small nod and then the portrait hole opened ajar of its own accord.

He smiled slightly and grabbed the frame of the portrait. From behind him, McGonagall said, "That wasn't the test, Mr. Potter. The test is if you can set foot inside the common room."

Hearing this, the smile wiped clean off his face. There was a pause as Harry looked inside the red common room. Maybe he just wasn't like his parents. Maybe he wasn't meant to go inside. Maybe he was meant to stand outside in the corridor, watching from afar. But for some reason unknown to him, Harry was determined to make it inside the Gryffindor common room.

He brought his foot up and then walked through the portrait hole. He was completely through. As Harry stood there, he now knew why he had been so determined. He wanted to be somewhere his mother and father had been. Maybe he wasn't so different than his parents. He had his parent's blood in him. He had Gryffindor blood in him. The thought made him smile widely.

Professor McGonagall followed him in. Harry looked around with a slight fascination that he was in Gryffindor territory.

"Professor, what would have happened if I wasn't worthy?"

"I'm not sure, Potter. I've never witnessed someone try before," she said. She turned to leave, a hint of a smile on her face. "The password is going to be changed tonight. I hope you understand." Harry nodded. And with that, McGonagall left the common room.

After she had gone, Harry walked around the common room, wanting to take it all in. He knew he probably wouldn't be here again. None of the Gryffindors would ever give him the password. Not even Ron or Hermione, he knew.

He wished the Slytherin common room had windows, but it was underground, so that was impossible. Looking out one of the Gryffindor windows, Harry saw, in the distance, part of the Quidditch pitch outside with its short but exceptionally green grass and tall stadium seats with its numerous rows.

Satisfied and pleased with himself, Harry left the Gryffindor common room a couple minutes later. He stepped out and was about to close the portrait hole when he heard a slow clapping. Snape was walking toward him as he clapped, mockingly.

"Congratulations. You're worthy enough to make it inside the prestigious Gryffindor common room," said Snape slowly. After saying this, he stopped clapping. His face held a look of ridicule. He stood close to Harry and the portrait hole, which still hung open.

Harry glared at him, but was also embarrassed that Snape, his Head of House, had caught him walking out of another common room. "You're jealous. I'm worthy enough to go into two common rooms," said Harry, saying the first thing that came to his mind.

Snape laughed. "Jealous? You think I'm jealous, Potter? I wouldn't want to go into that common room," Snape said, motioning toward the portrait hole. "You may be worthy enough to go inside the Gryffindor common room, but you're only allowed to go into the Slytherin common room because you are a Slytherin. I doubt, had you been anything else, that you would be allowed anywhere near Slytherin territory."

Somewhere deep down, Snape had hit a nerve; a soft spot. There had been that little bit of uncertainty that Harry didn't belong with the other Slytherins. Snape had brought this to his attention again, and he didn't appreciate it.

There was a tensioned silence as the two of them glared at each other. Harry was at a loss for words as he looked at the man before him. He didn't know what to say, so remained silent. He saw Snape's lips turn into a smirk.

The silence was broken when the Fat Lady said, "Close the portrait hole and leave! I'm trying to have a civilized conversation here!" She was clearly annoyed by the two Slytherins standing before her, but turned back to her friend.

Harry pushed the frame gently, so it closed. He turned and walked down the corridor, passing Snape as he did. He heard footsteps behind him and didn't have to turn to know that his Potion's professor was behind him.

Snape, who was clad in his usual black, walked faster and was soon taking quick strides in front of Harry. He looked at Snape, wondering whether he had ever tried to enter Gryffindor common room, despite what he had said moments before.

Curious but still annoyed, Harry asked, "Have you ever tried?"

Without turning or slowing down, the greasy-haired man asked, "Tried what?" The irritation was clear in his voice.

"Tried getting into the Gryffindor common room?" Harry asked.

Snape slowed. Without realizing as Harry assumed. "No. I don't need a portrait hole to tell me I'm not 'worthy'," said Snape.

Harry had never heard him talk like that before. Without realizing, Harry stopped in his tracks, whereas Snape continued even faster. What had that been in his voice? Sadness? Anger? Bitterness? Harry couldn't place it, but could tell that Snape was thinking of something he had done in his past, which made him unworthy. But what? What acts could do that?

Harry thought about it all the way down to the Great Hall, forgetting his want to explore the castle. Instead, he thought of how hungry he was since it was now early afternoon.

He opened the door to the Great Hall, thinking it would be empty. Harry was pleasantly surprised to find some teachers eating. But they weren't eating at the High Table; they were eating at the students' tables.

Professor McGonagall was currently eating at the Hufflepuff table with Professor Sprout. Professor Flitwick was eating at the Ravenclaw table as a small pile of books stood in front of his plate. Professor Sinistra was sitting by herself at the Gryffindor table as she held up a map of the stars, which she was looking at intently.

It was when the Great Hall doors closed that McGonagall looked up to see him there. She motioned for him to come over and he did so. None of the other teachers seemed to notice his presence since they were either working or talking. But it was better that way for Harry.

"I presumed you would get hungry, so I left a plate at the end of the High Table. Take whatever you want," McGonagall said. She turned back to her conversation with Professor Sprout.

"Thanks," he said, but no one heard him.

After taking the plate, he grabbed a ton of food. Chicken, potatoes, and of course some dessert. He also took a goblet of pumpkin juice before sitting at the Slytherin table. As he sat there, his back to the rest of the Great Hall, he could hear bits of conversation; it was mostly about the upcoming year and classes.

Eventually, the Great Hall doors opened and Professor Parish walked through. As Parish walked to get his plate at the High Table, he smiled at Harry cheerfully. Harry smiled back, watching as the man took some food and sat down across from him at the Slytherin table.

"You looked a bit lonesome," said Parish. Harry saw his teacher look around the room. "It's odd sitting here. When I went to school here, I sat at the Hufflepuff table."

"You were a Hufflepuff?" Harry asked just for the sake of making conversation.

"Yes, and I'm hoping my daughter will be one, too."

"How old is your daughter?"

"Five. She already wants to go to Hogwarts," said Parish with a small smile, clearly thinking of his little girl.

Harry asked, "Isn't it hard being away from your family?"

Parish took a gulp from his cup before continuing. "It's been rough. I miss them greatly, but I get a letter from my wife and daughter almost every day. It helps."

As Harry chewed his food, he nodded at what Parish said. If he had a family and had to be away from them for about ten months, he would be heartbroken. He would miss his family just as much as the professor sitting opposite him did.

They continued to talk until Parish said that he had work to finish before the rest of the students came. After Parish left, Harry did so, too. Since there was nothing he could think to do anywhere else, he went to the Slytherin common room.

A/N: Sorry it was a bit shorter than my others, but since there was plenty happening, I felt nothing more needed adding. Anyway, tell me if you liked it! Thanks!


Preview of Chapter 13—Dirty Plans:

After the rest of the students arrive at Hogwarts and the sorting ceremony, Harry tells his friends about the common rooms secret, and dirty plans are made…