Rey couldn't stop the butterflies in her stomach as she glanced out at the stage, waiting to emerge and begin the set. After the restless night she had had, having emerged from her car ride puffy eyed and almost too shell shocked to perform on the The Late Show, Finn and Poe had expected their singer to call off the new invitation from The Tonight Show. She had waved them off, assured them that she was fine.
And she was. Really. No sign or word from Kylo, despite the emotional car ride, which had ended with his lips against her hand—polite, chaste, more acquaintances than former lovers. Rey was so sure that as long as it kept to that, stuck to that kind of script, she would survive her stay in New York. But then she heard her name, and she just had to turn.
Of course, there he was, looking confused but handsome, his suit tie loose, as if he had been wrestling it off when he happened upon her. Of course her heart was suddenly in her throat, her hands gripping her bass as if it was a sword with which to run him through.
She knew that it was a dangerous idea, but when she had gotten the call from The Tonight Show asking the band to show up and be the surprise guest, Rey had been too excited to perform to think it through. Now she found herself backstage, bass in hand but chest to chest with Kylo, and suddenly she understood the appeal of bring With the Resistance on as last minute musical guests, given the events the day before. Suddenly she wondered if there was a conspiracy against her, if Kylo had put the producers up to it, but his confusion was apparent in his awkward limbs, and now she was worried that he wouldn't be the one surviving tonight.
Her shoulders squared on reflex, and Rey wasn't sure if she was trying to appear tougher, or if she was trying to show off her chest. Her cheeks flushed with that realization, but still, she was trying not to care, brushing her hair back. Despite it all, she felt ridiculous now, glancing at her outfit with a judgmental eye. The bandeau and leather jacket had seemed daring hours ago, and she had felt so sexy in her hot pants, but now, as her ex-boyfriend's eyes swept over her frame, his face stricken, she was ready to bolt.
"You…look amazing." Her breath left her lungs suddenly, as if he knocked her on her back. Rey found herself slinging her bass over her shoulder, found herself smiling up at the lanky singer, found him flushing scarlet, the color darkening his ears, reaching the back of his neck even.
"Thank you." She could have sworn that he shivered when she put a hand on his arm, and she was questioning her own limbs, wondering why she would do that, seemingly inviting him in instead of pushing him away, but then her name was being called again. The assistant producer was beckoning her to her spot onstage, and as she turned away, heels clacking pleasantly on the floor, a strange calm seeped into her, and she smiled.
The smile widened as the lights came up on her, as she heard Poe take his place to her right, as she heard Finn count them off, as she looked into the wings and saw Kylo's dark eyes burning into hers. Rey would wonder later if she was just trying to drive him crazy, now two songs deep in the set, stripping off her jacket, hearing the crowd go wild as she danced and sang. She could feel her bandmates' wonder permeating her frame, knew that they would wonder what she was up to, now as she crooked her finger at the man offstage, now as the crowd went crazy as Kylo hesitantly left the safety of the curtains.
There would be no sure answer to their questions, Rey realized as she slinked up to her former boyfriend, watching him tense up at her gentle hand on his face, watching the conflict play in his eyes. She was dancing like this because she wanted to, singing this song because she wanted to, getting close to him again because she wanted to.
Did she fear him still? Yes.
Did she know that everything could still go to hell, that she would crash and burn and cry if everything crumbled up like the ash at the end of cigarette? Of course.
Did she want him, maybe even love him more now? Oh god yes.
Rey knew that post performance high was always a real and present danger for her, as silly as it seemed. As far as popstars go, she was a good girl. Tonight would be the exception she decided, sizing up Kylo, forcing herself to remember the TV cameras taking in her every move. She tore herself away from his presence, breaking her orbit around him as she strode across the stage, trying to place reasonable doubt about their relationship, but failing as she threw a wink at him over her shoulder. She didn't care if Finn was practically blushing at the particularly lewd lyric that curled around her tongue, if Poe was trying to figure out if her song choices for their set were intentional. Earlier that day, the answer would have been no. She had tried to find more neutral songs from the album to perform, had tried to consider his feelings instead of hers.
Instead, she had perhaps considered her desires too much, realizing now that the chosen songs focused on their happier times, now as she approached him again, the tender look in her eye unmistakable on camera. When the final note rang out, when the final chord had been played, Rey wouldn't notice that the production team had spotlighted her and Kylo, let alone that his arms were securely around her waist.
It wasn't until she was offstage, in the green room, sitting between a stunned Finn and Poe, would she even realize that she had jumped into Kylo's arms and kissed him, her lips tingling, cheeks warm. Rey didn't try to stop her fit of giggles now, glancing at the small television in the corner as a slightly rumpled and blushing Kylo was being heckled by Phasma and their host about the kiss.
Poe all but groaned when he heard Rey murmur, "I'm going to dinner with him after the show," Finn practically face palming, but smiling all the same. They knew that they couldn't stop Rey if they tried, and by this point, it was better to let her go, to work Kylo out of her system. That was their hope, as well as their only option, linking hands and wearily following the energetic vocalist up the hallway now. They could hear the audience cheering and begging for an encore, and it didn't surprise the duo when Rey suggested Kylo to join them, their hands easily finding the duet's tune on their instruments.
Despite themselves, the two male members of With the Resistance smiled, absentmindedly playing at this point, their focus on Rey. Her grin would hurt her cheeks, but they were grateful for the sight, knowing that they owed it to the lanky man beside her now. Despite themselves, they would allow this. It was their only option at this point.
