Letters of the Little Things
Ryan – Letter #12
I heard my phone ring and my face lit up when I saw your name on the screen. But then I realized why you were probably calling, so I got nervous. I answered and you told me that you and him are taking a break because he said you should. I asked what that meant for us since I knew that you would feel like you were picking me if we continued to hang out. You said that I know you so well. I never realized it, but I guess I do. Then you told me that you need to think about this whole thing and need to talk to someone else about it. I respect your decisions and will wait for you to call again. Hopefully you call again, whether it be good news or bad.
Kayla – Letter #12
I don't know why I'm still writing these letters, 'cause I feel like I'm picking you by doing so. But I guess I can't just not tell you, because it does involve you. Besides, you can't start a story and not finish it. So today, I called Taylor. We haven't talked in a while since we're both busy and she's in New Orleans , but we promised each other we'd talk at least once a month. I told her my dilemma. She definitely wasn't expecting that, but I wasn't expecting this whole thing to happen either, so tit only makes sense. She asked me if I missed you or the memories I had with you. I honestly didn't know. I mean, yeah, I missed the memories I had with you, but was that all? So then I asked her how I could figure that out. That stumped her. Then we changed the topic and talked for about an hour. The I went to confide in my mom. What my mom said was the most surprising. She told me to go see a therapist, so I did. Honestly, I felt so dumb going into that office. I mean, there are people in the world with real problems and here I was complaining about my love life. Anyway, I entered he office and instantly felt weird. The walls were and eggshell white and were completely blank with the exception of three framed diplomas hanging above the desk. The therapist told me to take a seat, so I did. The couch was a bright yellow and everything in the room looked like it came from an Ikea catalog. It didn't feel like a therapist's office at all. What was this bright couch supposed to do? Make me feel happy and like everything was going to be alright? 'Cause it wasn't. Anyway, she asked me why I came to see her, and I told her I felt rather selfish and stupid being there and that my mom recommended I go. I told her about my situation with you and Matt. She had me write down a list of what I missed specifically (pertaining to relationships and whatnot). Then she told me to make two more list: one of memories I had with you and one of memories I had with Matt. Then she took the lists from me and asked me several questions. I told her about these letters. She asked me why I didn't start writing any to Matt since I was taking a break from him. I honestly didn't know. I guess I figured I'd tell him my decision when the time came. She told me not to think of you or him and tell her what qualities I'd like in a boyfriend, not things like surfer or enjoys the outdoors, but things like someone I can talk to about anything and makes me laugh. Once I finished that, she asked if I had the letters I'd written so far. I actually did, so I gave them to her. She asked if she could read them, and I told her I didn't mind. She read them rather quickly and said that I have a connection with you that I don't have with Matt. I instantly told her that I never had sex with you or him, or anyone for that matter, to clear that up in case that's what she meant, and it wasn't, so I felt a little dumb and embarrassed. She said you and I are more connected on a deeper emotional level than I am with Marr. I asked if it was because I have known you much longer time, but she said that wasn't the case. After all, I had no trouble opening up to her, whom I just met. That was true. Then I asked if that meant I missed you. She said it didn't necessarily mean I missed you, but according to all the info I gave her, she could tell I was yearning for something I was missing. Seeing that I did (I do?) have a boyfriend, something wasn't right. She told me that I subconsciously knew what I wanted, but my selflessness and caring heart blocked me from seeing that. So it turns out that I don't miss just the memories we had, but just you, overall, I guess. I felt relieved to have the answer I'd been waiting for, but my selfless and caring heart felt bad for Matt.
