The story's title is from the song "One Day" by Kodaline. All of the chapter titles come from various songs by the same band.

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Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the plot and any original characters that may be added in later. All rights over characters of the TV show Arrow belong to CW Television and DC Comics.


The Way That It Was Before (It's All That You're Looking For)

February 2013

Oliver lifted his glass, knocking back his first tequila shot of the night. He turned to the girl at his right, who already had a few drinks in her and was heavily flirting with him. He flashed his classic playboy smile, "So, Katie. What are you doing out tonight?"

The blonde peered up at him with a smile, hand slowly running up and down his forearm and nodding over her shoulder at a drunken group of girls. "I'm here with some friends celebrating my birthday."

"Oh? Happy birthday," he inched closer and rested a hand on her exposed knee.

"Thanks, but it was actually on Monday, the 23rd."

Oliver took in what she said and his smirk dropped, wracking his brain for why the date sounded important. "Wait. Today is the 25th?"

She furrowed her brows at his expression, "Yeah. Why?"

"I have to go." Oliver stood abruptly, moving around her and almost running out of the club. Everything around him became white noise, his heartbeat thumping wildly in his ears. He hopped on his motorcycle, speeding away from the curb and to the one place where he'd always felt safe. It took twenty minutes for him to pull into the driveway of the Queen Mansion, hopping off his bike so quickly he nearly knocked it over. Darkness surrounded him, but he walked the long-since memorized path around the house and through the backyard, passing the swing set that Felicity had once deemed 'their spot'. He slowed his steps, the large grey headstone coming into view. Coming to a halt before it, he sucked in a sharp breath as his eyes scanned over the barely visible letters. He couldn't believe that he didn't remember.

Today was February 25th. His father's birthday. And he forgot.

Oliver felt tears prick at the corners of his eyes and he kneeled, hand reaching out and fingers gently grazing over his father's name. He'd been so entranced in partying and becoming dangerously close to flunking out of SCU that he actually forgot Robert's birthday. Tears streamed freely down his cheeks, letting all his pent-up emotions out; all his pain and anger and regret over everything. He sat there for hours in the dark, leaning against the hard stone and whispering the words 'I'm sorry' over and over again. In letting his hurt over Felicity get the best of him, he let his father down. Robert's last wish was for him to graduate and carry on his legacy by taking over the company, and he had failed. The damage to his grades could be irreversible at this point, and he'd taken advantage of all his relationships, pushing away Tommy, Moira, and Thea. This path he was going down with the partying and the drinking and the women had to end. His father believed in him, believed that he could thrive; he trusted him. But Oliver was done failing. From this point on, he would turn his life back around; to honor his father's wishes, he had to become someone else. Someone that could make Robert Queen proud.


December 2017

Rolling over to push her face further into the pillow, Felicity groans, a thudding pain behind her eyes delaying her from opening them. After a few minutes, they flutter open and she shuffles, pushing herself up onto her forearm. They sting and she immediately feels her contacts awkwardly moving as she blinks. Reaching to her nightstand, she grabs the cases and removes the dry lenses from her eyes. Blinking the blurriness away, she reaches over and grabs her go-to glasses, settling them on her nose. Felicity glances down at herself, fingering the bottom of the grey t-shirt she is wearing in confusion. Her eyes scan the room, indeed recognizing it as her own before landing on her nightstand to find a tall glass of water, two aspirins, and a note. Popping the pills into her mouth, she takes a hefty gulp before lifting the note, squinting to read it in the dull lighting around her.

Felicity,

Last night was… interesting. I have never seen someone struggle so hard to change their clothes - I forgot how funny you get when you're drunk.

Take these when you wake up. I made you a smoothie - raspberry, your favorite - and put it in the fridge. Feel better!

Oliver

Her heart flutters as her eyes scan over the familiar handwriting and suddenly the entire night comes rushing back to her. Thea. Dinner. Karaoke. Standing practically naked in her bedroom with Oliver. Oh god. She doesn't remember exactly what she said, but she no doubt made a complete fool of herself around Oliver last night. It was bad enough when she was sober, but when she was drunk? Her rambles were filled with an excessive amount of giggles and sexual innuendos. Felicity groans, smashing her face back into her pillow in embarrassment.

She sits up, swinging her legs over the side of the bed and right hand flying to her forehead at the sudden surge of pain. She stands, gripping the corner of the nightstand to steady herself. Slowly shuffling her bare feet out of her room, she makes her way to the kitchen, eyes spotting her clutch on the couch and retrieving her phone. Opening the door to the fridge, she pulls out the large pink smoothie and sucks the thick straw into her mouth, moaning at the sweet taste. She leans her hip against the counter, greedily gulping down her drink as she flicks through her several voicemails. One is from Laurel telling her that she hopes she feels better and that they can bring over her car whenever. The next one is a quick message from her mom, and the last is from Barry, apologizing for being late on wishing her a Happy Hanukkah and saying that he and Iris miss her a lot.

Frowning when the messages are done, she thumbs through her contacts before landing on the familiar picture and pressing the call button. It rings for a few seconds before his voice answers, "Hello?"

She tries not to sound too giddy that he actually answered, "Oliver, hey. It's Felicity."

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

"Like a car ran over my head," she groans and hops up to sit on the counter, taking another sip of her already almost-gone smoothie.

Oliver chuckles over the line, "Yeah well, together I think you and Sara drank two entire bottles of wine. And you're both lightweights."

"Hey, we can't help it that we're tiny blondes, okay?" At his laugh, she looks down and smiles, biting her bottom lip. "I wanted to thank you. For taking care of me last night. You didn't have to do that."

"Felicity, I'll always take care of you," he responds easily, almost like it's the most natural thing to say. She sucks in a sharp breath and her stomach flutters at his words before she hears him clear his throat, obviously not having meant to say that. "I uh, I was happy to help."

The conversation falls silent and Felicity plays with the hem of her shirt - his shirt. "Well, thank you. And I'm sorry for anything that I said last night. Whatever is left of my brain-to-mouth filter completely disappears when alcohol is involved. I probably didn't mean anything."

Oliver sighs at her words, taking a while to answer and she has no idea why. Maybe she said something really horrible last night. "It's okay. It was \ basically you laughing and making innuendos. Nothing I can't handle."

She puts a hand to her forehead and closes her eyes with a groan, "Did I hit on you? I vaguely remember being topless. Please tell me I didn't like, proposition you or something, because that would be mortifying."

He laughs, "No, you did not. You just had some trouble freeing your legs from your jumpsuit. You said that you were scared because it was trying to kill you."

"Oh god, I am so sorry."

"Like I said before, I was happy to help."

Felicity nods her head, biting her lip before suddenly remembering her conversation with Thea last night, "I hate to ruin this lovely recollection of my embarrassing behavior, but I have to tell you something. Last night I ran into Thea coming out of the bathroom and she dropped a bag of these pills, I think she took some. She threatened me when I said I'd tell you, but you deserve to know."

He sighs, and she can just picture him running a hand over his face, "She is unbelievable... Thank you for telling me, I'll handle it."

"I'm sorry, Oliver."

"Don't be, it's not your fault. Like she said during her inappropriate speech that makes a whole lot more sense now, she's almost sixteen. She makes her own choices."

"I know, I'm just... I'm sorry anyway. I know how much you love her and how much it must kill you to see her like this."

"Yeah, it does."

She hears the sadness in his tone and wishes she were with him, wishes she could wrap her arms around him in comfort. But she can't do that anymore; he has someone else for that. She sucks in a breath, "Well, I should let you go. Thank you again for bringing me home and for the smoothie - which was delicious, by the way."

"Thank you," he laughs. "Felicity, I hope you know that I'm... I'm always gonna be there for you."

Feeling tears start to prick at the corners of her eyes, she manages, "Yeah. I know."

"I'll see you later. Goodbye, Felicity."

"Bye," she offers before hanging up. She locks her phone, placing it on the counter and sighing before hopping back to the ground and heading into her room to get ready for the day.


Oliver opens the door to the Queen Mansion in search of his little sister. He rounds the corner to the staircase, taking the steps two at a time until he reaches the top. Making his way through the hallway, he approaches Thea's door, knocking lightly and opening it when he hears her faint voice yell to come in. She is standing at her desk, stuffing her wallet and cell phone into her bag, and she peers over her shoulder, offering a wide smile. "Hey Ollie, what's up?"

He moves further into her room, "Where are you going?"

"Oh, the mall with Britt and a couple other friends. They want to buy me a new dress for my birthday party in two weeks. Has Mom talked to you about what she's getting me yet? Because I've been dropping hints about this convertible that I really want for like, two months. Also, you're coming to my party, right? It's at Verdant and don't give me that look because Tommy already made it clear that he won't be serving alcohol, which is a major bummer, but it is what it is. I should invite Lissy too," she says rapidly.

Oliver stares at her, "I don't know if Felicity would want to go considering what happened at dinner yesterday."

She gulps before slinging her bag over her shoulder and turning to him, fixing him with a confused expression, "What do you mean?"

"Don't lie to me, Thea. Felicity told me about the pills you took and how you threatened her so that she wouldn't tell me."

Thea chuckles, "Ollie, that's ridiculous! Why would you even believe her? She's a liar."

"No she isn't. The only liar right now is you. What did you take?"

"Nothing," she grits out.

He narrows his eyes at her, taking a few steps closer and she shuffles between her feet at his close inspection. "You're high right now, aren't you?"

Thea looks away, biting her bottom lip.

"Thea. What did you take?" Oliver asks through clenched teeth, his anger rising.

She turns her head back to him with fire in her eyes, 'Why do you even care? God, you and Felicity just think you're so much better than me. All you do is judge me instead of spending time with me."

"Thea, I'm your brother and I love you. I want you to be healthy and safe and happy, and this isn't the way."

"Well I don't care! You may be my brother but you are not my father, so stop telling me how to live my life!" Oliver is taken aback by how loud she yells before pushing him aside and making her way out of the room. He is left standing there, releasing a sigh and running a hand over his face. Thea is falling fast and he doesn't know what to do to stop her from crashing.


January 2017

Hearing a knock on his door, Oliver turns his head and pauses the baseball game he is watching before rising off the couch. He makes his way to the door, swinging it open and he is unable to hide his shock at the unexpected visitor. "McKenna."

McKenna makes a face at him before smiling and kissing him on the cheek, moving into the apartment, "Were you expecting someone else?"

"What?" he shakes his head, closing the door and facing her, "No, I just didn't know that you were coming over tonight."

"I know. I feel like we haven't seen each other in forever, I miss you." She bands her arms around his waist and leans up to place a kiss to his lips.

He kisses her back for a few seconds before pulling away with guilt, hands gravitating to loosen her grip around him and staring down at her, "We need to talk."

She chuckles and tugs him to sit on the couch, "Okay. What's up?"

"I have to tell you something. McKenna…," Oliver takes a deep breath to build up the courage to confess what's been gnawing at his conscience for weeks. "I kissed Felicity."

McKenna stares at him blankly before her expression morphs into one of pure anger, and she stands abruptly, "You what?!"

"Felicity kissed me. And I didn't stop her."

She paces back and forth with one hand on her hip and the other on her forehead, inhaling deep breaths. Oliver sits there watching her, not knowing what to say and not wanting to make things worse. After a few minutes, she faces him. "It didn't mean anything, right?"

Oliver doesn't know what to say. He wants to tell her no, that it meant nothing to him. But he can't lie to her face. Because when he kissed Felicity, when he wrapped his arms around her waist and she lifted her palm to his cheek, he felt something. When he carried her home, when she looked at him with eyes full of love and he pressed a kiss to her forehead, he felt something. He just doesn't know exactly what that something was. Gazing up at her, he sighs, "I don't know."

She glares at him before repeating back slowly, "You don't know."

"I - I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to happen but it did, and I…" his voice fades.

"God, I knew that she was after you! She's such a bitch!" He clenches his jaw at her words, wanting to jump in and defend Felicity, but he doesn't want to make her angrier than she already is. "So you lied to me. When you said that you were over her, you lied to my face."

He rises to his feet, "No I - I wasn't lying. I thought that I was over her, that my feelings were completely gone, but… I don't know anymore. I don't know what I feel for her or -"

"- For me," she concludes. "You don't know what you feel for me."

"McKenna, I care about you. So much. You have been extremely important in my life for the past year, and you've helped me realize that I can move on and be happy. But Felicity coming back after five years has been messing with my head, and I just… I don't know what I feel right now. I think it would be best for me to just… have some time to myself."

McKenna's face softens and she looks at him, "Oliver, I love you. And I understand that you're confused and need to be alone. I hope you figure things out and when you do, maybe we can talk and try again."

He is surprised by how understanding she's being, considering her reactions thus far regarding his relationship with Felicity. Oliver nods his head lightly and watches her walk out of the loft, leaving him with a lot to think about.