Valkyrie hopped out of the Taxi and stopped.

A large ostrich like bird stood in Skulduggery's backyard; a rope was tied around its neck and attached to a metal rod. It turned its head to look at her and she slowly began to back away into the house.

Once she was safely inside, Valkyrie hurried over to Tanith, who was sitting on the couch watching TV. "Hi Val!" Tanith said cheerfully when she saw her friend.

"Um, what's with the ostrich in the yard?" Valkyrie asked nervously, the last time Tanith had gotten animals it was when she turned Skulduggery's house into the Arctic. It hadn't ended well.

Tanith cocked her head, "What's an ostrich?"

"You know a big flightless bird that runs REALLY fast?"

Tanith's eyes widened in disbelief, "I have a giant penguin in our yard?"

Valkyrie face-palmed, "No, an Ostrich is found in Africa and are WAY bigger than a penguin is."

"Oh, well what I do know that I have is an Emu," Tanith explained.

"An….. Emu?"

"Yep!" Tanith said cheerfully. "I'm starting an Emu farm."

Valkyrie stared then rubbed her eyes, then continued staring, "An Emu farm? Really?"

Tanith nodded.

Valkyrie sighed, "Whose credit card did you take this time?"

"Ghastly's."

*Face-palm*

"By the way," Tanith ignored the display of 'Really? What are you thinking?' and continued to flip channels. "The other Emus and supplies should be arriving around noon so don't be surprised if a big truck comes into the yard."

Valkyrie walked away and went to the Sanctuary, just wanting some time away from the stupidness at Skulduggery's. Only to find the Sanctuary was just as bad with weirdness.

"Elders," Tipstaff said bowing in front of the Elder Mages, also known as Ghastly, Ravel and Madame Mist. "Detective Valkyrie Cain wishes to speak to you, do you agree."

Ghastly sighed irritably, "Yes, Tipstaff. We agree."

Ravel snorted, "I still don't know why we have to go through all of this boring crap just so that our friends can visit us. Well, not Mist she doesn't have friends."

Mist glared from behind her veil, "I beg to differ Grand Mage. I do have friends."

Ghastly scoffed, "Yeah, other than the weird Spider People you hang out with?"

This made both Ravel and Ghastly start laughing. Mist's glare turned into a Death Glare and Valkyrie was glad she wasn't with the two men that were on the receiving end.

Finally Madame Mist got up and glided away, sick of the other Mages laughing at her and her friend deficiency. Once she was gone Ravel and Ghastly turned back to Valkyrie and Tipstaff.

"Okay," Ravel said. "We're good."

Valkyrie went to step fully into the room but Tipstaff stopped her again. "Do the remaining Mages wish for Detective-"

"YES!" Ghastly and Erskine yelled.

Tipstaff yelped then composed himself and bowed, "As you wish."

He stepped aside and Valkyrie walked forward, "Hey guys."

"Just a second Valkyrie," Ravel said looking over at Tipstaff. "Tipstaff, could you do me a favor and move a little to the right?"

Tipstaff moved to the right.

"A little further."

He moved some more.

"Further."

*Scoot*

"Just a little bit more."

*Scoot*

Tipstaff was now standing in the hallway. A kickball hit him in the gut.

Ravel smiled, "Perfect."

Tipstaff wheezed and tipped over and a Cleaver ran over, picked up the ball, looked at Tipstaff then gave him a small kick and ran off to join the other Cleavers in their game of kickball.

Ravel sighed, "My life," he said dreamily. "Is amazing."

"Yes," Ghastly agreed. "Yes it is."

Valkyrie rolled her eyes, "You guys are weird."

"Yes," Ghastly said. "Yes we are."

She laughed and Ravel yelled at Tipstaff, "Hey Tipstaff!"

"Yes Grand Mage?" Tipstaff said, getting to his feet and brushing himself off.

"Can you turn forty degrees to your right?"

Tipstaff turned and immediately got hit in the face with another kickball.

This sent Ravel into another bout of laughter and made him spill the bowl of popcorn he had on his lap. Another Cleaver ran over and took the kickball then ran off again.

"Okay," Ravel said. "So Valkyrie, what are you doing here?"

Before she could answer a woman and Dr. Nye came in, Nye looking really annoyed and the woman yelling.

"Grand Mage," Nye said sounding very irritated. "May I please ask you to call the Cleavers to … escort Miss Scapegrace out of here?"

"Hey, I am a man! I just am stuck in this body until I get a new one!" The woman, Scapegrace, yelled back crossing his/her arms over their chest.

Everyone ignored him/her and Ravel called on his trusty guard, "White Cleaver!"

The White Cleaver came in and looked at Ravel.

Ravel pointed, "Get rid of the annoying he/she and get me popcorn, I ran out."

The White Cleaver nodded, grabbed Scapegrace by the collar and began to drag the former zombie out the door who continued to protest and yell.

Once he was gone Ghastly went to ask Valkyrie something but was interrupted by Nye saying Ravel needed to have a check-up which ended with Ravel having a freak attack and running out of the room in terror.

Nye sighed, "Great," It said. "Now I need to hunt him down. It walked off after Ravel and Valkyrie just sighed, "I'm better off with the Emu."

She got back to Skulduggery's house and stopped. About fifty Emu were standing in Skulduggery's yard. Tanith had one on a leash and was leading it around.

"Uh Tanith," Valkyrie said as she picked her way through the Emu and over to Tanith. "Are you sure it's a good idea to have all these Emu here? Won't Skulduggery be mad when he sees all these birds?"

Tanith looked up, "Oh hi Val! This is Fluffy!"

The Emu she was leading around looked at her, Valkyrie moved behind Tanith.

"Don't worry! He doesn't bite," Tanith smiled.

"I know, he pecks."

Valkyrie sighed.

"And don't worry, I have a plan."

"What's that?"

Later that night…

Skulduggery, Valkyrie and Tanith were in the Sanctuary, they had just helped Nye hunt down Ravel so he could have his check-up. He was hiding under Ghastly's desk.

Now they were standing around the 'Throne Room' watching the TV they had set up so Ravel didn't get bored.

Suddenly the news turned on.

"Breaking News," the announcer said. "About fifty Emus have disrupted downtown traffic in Eastern Dublin and are heading towards the center of town. Residents are advised to stay in their homes and to avoid streets until Animal Control has a handle on the Emu Apocalypse."

Valkyrie turned very slowly to Tanith, "You," she said. "Released the Emus on the world."

"Yep!" Tanith said cheerfully. "I released them into their natural habitat to be with their own kind before Skulduggery came home. I told you I would take care of it."

"Emu aren't indigenous to this area."

"That's good they're indigestible, we don't want the land to eat them."

Valkyrie face-palmed, "Indigenous, as in their species does not belong to this area."

"Oh, so what happens now?"

"Wait," Skulduggery said. "What do you mean 'before Skulduggery gets home'?"

"I turned your yard into an Emu farm then released them into the world."

Skulduggery went quiet, "I thought I told you not to use my credit card."

"I didn't, I used Ghastly's."

Skulduggery didn't respond.