I do not own The Outsiders.

Evie's Pov

Time slowed down as I saw him. I waited for the arrange of red hair to
duck behind someone and disappear, like it always seemed to, but it
never did, because this time it wasn't just my imagination.

I kept walking down the busy hall of my high school, each step seeming
to be too slow and short. He was walking in the opposite direction,
towards me. All the noise was blocked out of my ears as we passed each
other, my eye seemed locked on him.

We were almost by each other, I nearly had escaped him unnoticed when
his eyes suddenly moved towards me. They met each other for an
instance, my heart stopped beating in my chest, I felt frozen in time.

Then just like that it was over. His eyes moved away from mine and we
passed by each other. All the noise resumed in my ears in a big wave
and I looked over to see Sandy looking weirdly at me. "Were you even
listening?"

I nodded yes, and she started blabbing on again about Soda, but I
turned my head just a bit to catch a head of red hair ducking behind a
corner out of sight.

. . .

I looked up as my room door was opened. Sam stood there, peeking his
head through the small crack he opened it and looked in. "Steve's here,"

I felt my stomach whirl around inside of me as I nodded a thanks and
pushed myself off of the bed. I grabbed the small bag of things I
packed and headed for the door, yelling out good-byes and reminders to
Sam and my mom.

As I hopped into his car Steve shot me a full-out rare grin before
pulling me closer to him by my shoulders. "Ready?"

I could only answer yes as I snuggled into his plain white shirt,
breathing in the aroma of coffee, cigarettes and car exhaust.

I smiled as I looked up at him while he started the car up again, for
the first time in a while I was happy. This week had been going good;
Sam had forgiven me the night of our fight, my mom hadn't touched a
bottle, I got my short term goal weight. I had nearly forgotten about
seeing my rapist at school, MY school.

I had stopped purging too, but only because there was nothing in my
stomach in the first place. Puking it up had stopped working, I heard
from a bathroom stall girls say that your body gets all the nutrients
and fats after five minutes of eating it. I knew I didn't always get
to a bathroom that fast, all this time I was forcing up just wasteful
mess. Also I heard it rots your teeth out.

Not eating was easier, at first the hunger pains really got to me, but
then they started becoming less painful and frequent, and in under a
week. If I keep this up I could probably not eat for a couple of days
and not feel hungry.

Steve pulled out of the driveway, putting the car in second gear and
driving; the houses passing by in a blur of colour; through the town;
the East then West Side, out farther then I've ever gone until there
were no houses, just dirt roads and fields and trees. Until there were
no people or pressure or hate, until there were just two people, me
and him. At that moment I was perfectly and honestly filled with
happiness, nothing could break it.

. . .

"Common Eve," Steve coaxed me out of sleep. I jolted awake with a
start, heart already out of my chest.

"Calm down," It took me a minute to, but I nodded instantly anyways.
He looked worried, but only for so short of a moment I wondered if I
had imagined it. "We're here,"

I gave him a broad grin, pushing his chest gently so he moved away
enough so I could sit up and opened the car door.

It was dark; I guess we drove for longer than I thought. As my eyes
adjusted I slowly slid one foot in front of each other, feeling my way
forwards. Underneath my feet soft leaves crackled and crumbled.

I followed the sole source of light; the white light of the moon,
partially blocked by branches and leaves. Finally I pushed through the
last of the bush, my bare feet stumbling into cool sand. A smile
filled my face.

Water spread out in front of me, the darkness of the sky matching the
darkness of the water. The reflection of the stars and moon were so
perfect on the still lake I couldn't tell were the water ended and the
sky began; it was like standing on the edge of the earth and the only
thing in front of me were stars and moons and space.

"You like it?" Steve's voice came from behind me.

I took a deep breath, my smile growing.

"I love it."

. . .

I woke up to the sunlight streaming through the car window. I yawned
and rubbed my eyes trying to wake myself up. After I moment I looked
around the empty car.

Smiling tiredly at the forest I opened the door and stretched out my
cramped muscles. I wondered towards the beach hugging the blanket
around my shoulders. The small grains of sand warmed the soles of my
feet.

"Hey babe," I cooed, biting my lip to resist laughing. Steve looked up
from his current task of attaching two poles. The corners of his mouth
turned up as he looked at me up and down. I self-consciously pulled one
hand through my hair, biting my lip at the result. I couldn't believe
I came out here without even looking in the mirror, I probably looked
ridiculous. I wrapped the blanket tighter around me, as if it'd save
me from this embarrassment. I was so stupid sometimes, I don't even
get why people like me.

Steves POV.

I was working on putting another pole together, pretty sure I was
doing it right that time, when I looked up to see Evie standing there
with a tired little grin on her face. Man I don't think she's ever
looked better to me. Her hair was messy from sleep, and she was
wearing the shorts she fell asleep in with a blanket wrapped around
her shoulders. I couldn't help but smile. "Mornin',"

I had woken up before the sun to see Evie snuggling into my side, her
curly hair falling across her face, her entire face peaceful. I
could've stayed in that position forever, if my legs weren't so
cramped up that was.

It took longer than I thought it would to get down here. I honestly
didn't even know where I was going until Soda offered me directions to
the place his daddy used to take him fishing, or try to at least. By
the time we got here it was dark, and I couldn't set up a tent in the
middle of day let alone night so we just tried to make ourselves
comfortable in the car.

Evie had fallen back asleep after only a few minutes, and kept
sleeping a good couple of hours longer than me, which was good because
if I'd have messed up on the tent even half the amount of times I had
of with her watching I doubt I'd ever live it down.

"I'm just gonna go get cleaned up," she mumbled, tucking a wisp of
stray hair behind her ear and turning away flushed. I just said okay
and watched her go, wishing she'd just stay the way she was and come
down here with me.

When she disappeared from sight I turned back to the tent and
continued propping it up. After a few minutes she came back wearing a
little yellow dress and her hair done up. She still looked great, but
I liked her without all the makeup. She didn't need it like some girls
to look good.

She walked over and eyed the tent. "Isn't it supposed to be pegged
into the ground or something?"

I looked from the tent back to her. "Naw, it'll be fine," She just
giggled softly and walk towards me. When she arrived in from of me I
put my hand under her chin and tilted it up, kissing her gently.

"So, what do you think about swimming?"

Evie's POV

I swallowed hard. "I don't got a bathing suit..."

Steve just smirked."Ain't no one here but us,"

I looked at him wide eyed, not at the idea of skinny dipping, but at
the fact I couldn't think of a decent enough excuse to keep my body
covered up, until I reached 125Ibs that is.

He laughed and rolled his eyes. "I was kiddin' Evie, I'll stick with
your 'underwear on' rule, I mean it covers as much as a bathing suit
would,"

I just forced a smile and nodded. "Alright," No it wasn't alright. I
was freaking out internally, but externally I was as calm as the lake
was at that point.

Steve ran back up to the car to grab us some drinks, so I got into the
water as fast as I could. Gosh it was cold, but I forced myself in
until the water covered me up to my shoulders. A few seconds later
Steve came running down the hill, hooting and hollering as held the
cooler up with one arm.

"Damn that's cold!" he shouted as soon as he was ankle deep. I laughed
as he hopped around, jumping from one foot to the other. "Don't be a
wimp," I called out, laughing even more as he stopped hopping about
and walked deeper towards me instantly.

I started becoming less self-conscious as the day went on and we fooled
around in the water. I became more confident, even lying down on the
soft sand and drying off from the sun's rays, leaving the water which
had become my security blanket.

It was later at night when Steve flopped down on the sand beside me,
his hair dripping wet, hanging onto his face in long bangs. I joked
about it, laughing as he kept trying to push it back without grease,
but honestly it looked good to me.

The sun was setting when Steve's stomach suddenly growled. "Shoot I
haven't eaten all day," he exclaimed putting a hand into his bare
stomach. "I'll run up to the car and get some food, you want anything?
I got some granola bars, bread..."

I shook my head interrupting him. "No it's alright; I had some not too
long ago when you was working on getting some wood for a fire." Lie,
all lies, but he believed them.

As he ran into the forest I smuggled up closer to the small fire,
grabbing his discarded t-shirt from the sand and pulling it over my
head. It hung loosely off my shoulders and completely engulfed my
stomach and curves. I hugged it close to me until he came back.

"Well don't you look spiffy," I heard Steve say from behind me. I
smiled teasingly at him. As his eyes travelled up and down my body
again he smiled. "I'm not kidding, you look great, but you'd look even
better out of it,"

I laughed good heartedly before turning back to fire, but something in
my gut told me he wasn't just joking.

Steve's POV.

She laughed, again.

I've been making sexually based jokes all day, trying to see her
reaction or anything, but she just laughed them all off. I don't know
if that means she's okay with the idea of it or still opposed to it.

I'd be lying if I said that all the teasing the guys were giving me
about not 'getting any' wasn't getting to me, because it was. I could
deal with being called a pussy or wimp a few times, but at one point
hitting them doesn't make it any better.

Soda tried to stick up for me, but honestly that didn't do nothing. I
mean how can you defend someone if half of what their saying is true.

As I sat a little too close to Evie I gave her a smile. She was
looking real good, hair and makeup like it is when she wakes up in the
morning, natural from the water. There's just something about seeing a
girl in your shirt that makes it that much better.

I opened up the package of hotdogs I brought down and tried cooking
them with the fire but that didn't work well. I lost the first two to
the fire. Finally I gave up and just took a bite of one raw. Evie
looked at me like I was a cannibal, but it tasted the same to me.

After the dinner I lay out on my back and stared up at the stars. At
some point Evie must of done the same but I don't really notice, I was
just busy thinking in general.

I came back to reality when I heard a soft yawn beside me. "Wanna go
to the tent?" I asked, looking sideways to her.

When she nodded I stood quickly and held out my hand to help her up. I
dumped some water on the fire embers before following her silhouette
to the tent.

Honesty I felt a little nervous, unsure if I'd have enough balls to
make a move her tonight. Your over-thinking it I scolded myself as I
ducked into the tent.

Evie's POV.

I zipped up the tent for Steve as soon as he was entirely in trying to
keep out any bugs. It was real dark in it until he flicked on a
flashlight. I looked to the other side of the tent to see his face and
then my heart started to beat faster.

I realized we were all alone. It wasn't the same as being alone in a
car, or a room. It wasn't the same at all, and it made me nervous.

I peeled my eyes away from him as I realized I was looking at him with
deer eyes for the past minute at least.

I puffed my pillow up, my hair falling in front of my face hiding my
red cheeks. It happened in one swift movement then. I looked up when
he said my name and next thing I knew my lips were too busy to answer
kissing his.

I kissed him back naturally, shifting positions so I sat on my behind
and not my legs. I barely heard the scrape of his knees on the tent
floor when he began to crawl forwards until his face was overhead mine.

I uncrossed my legs and laid them out flat on the ground so I was
completely lying down and he crouched over me. Slowly I felt his lips
drift away from mine and travel to my jaw. I felt myself panic as much
as I tried to resist it. "Steve. . ." I whispered quietly.

He continued to move down lower, kissing my neck tenderly, with every
kiss my heart picking up pace. My eyes flickered around the tent
nervously, I felt trapped. I shuffled under him, feeling the need to
move. "Steve,"

It's just Steve, he ain't gonna hurt you. It's just Steve, he ain't
gonna hurt you. It's just Steve, he ain't gonna hurt you. It's just Steve, he ain't
gonna hurt you.
Even though my mind believed it my body didn't.

He kept kissing lower, sucking on my collarbone gently. "Steve." I
almost was begging now, too scared to raise my voice but too
uncomfortable to not say anything.

Suddenly I felt hands on my waist, drifting down to my hips, numb here
his skin made contact. Red swam in front of my eyes, I needed to
escape. "Steve!"

The monster inside me took over for an instance, using my hands to
push him off of me. I wasn't in control, I was watching through a
window from the back of my mind as he looked at me from where he sat
up, my hands shaking on my knees.

We stared at each other a moment, before the monster settled down with
my heart. I came back in control, glancing away from his eyes. "I'm
sorry," I heard him mumble; I knew his eyes were probably doing the
same as my own.

"It's fine..." I murmured, crawling into my sleeping bag. I laid down
facing the wall, my back to him. After a few minutes I heard him
shuffle around and shut off the light. It was only then I allowed
myself to wipe off the hot tears from my face.

Steve's POV

I fell asleep staring at her spine after hours of restlessness.

I couldn't get her face out of my mind. She looked so scared. At me.
If I could take it back I would, I'd give anything to take it back. I
didn't want to hurt her, God I'd never hurt her. I'd never hurt any
girl, but especially not Evie.

Why did I let any of those guys bother me, why did I care what they
thought? I didn't need their damn approval, I had something none of
them had; a girlfriend. Now because of them I might've lost her.

She looked so scared; it was like it wasn't even her. I should've just
stopped when she said to...I didn't know I'd scare her so bad. I
don't even know what I did.

Evie's POV

I woke up to an empty tent, no surprise there. Even after I woke up I
sat in it for a while, not knowing what to do when I saw Steve. I
tried to plan it out, imagine it. I thought I had it down pat by the
time I walked out of the humid tent, but as soon as I saw him my voice
went silent and my mouth fell into a perfect 'o'.

He looked over at me suddenly, pushing himself up and off the beach
and walking over to me in a few long strides. We stood in silence for
a moment, and I opened my mouth to speak. "Look Steve I-"

My eyes opened wide as his lips pressed against mine mid-sentence. I
stopped taking and closed my mouth, feeling his needy lips against my
own. His were needy, but gentle, not rough or forceful.

After a second he pulled back and our eyes met. "I'm sorry."

He said it and I could only nod, unsure of how to react when I'd come
here to say the exact same thing. After a moment I forced a grin,
determined to set things back to normal. He grinned back and for a
moment I thought we were okay.

And to anyone watching us we would seem to be; splashing around in the
water, setting up a blanket on the beach and eating a picnic, cuddling
in the sand to watch the sunset. To anyone else we'd seem like a
perfectly happy couple. What they'd miss though is the slight
hesitation he made before wrapping his arms around me, the look of
'okay' I had to give him before he would kiss me, the worried look in
his eye as he watched me from a distance thinking I didn't know.

We both acted the same, but that's just what it was, acting. By the
end of the day I didn't know if I wanted to burst into tears or scream
at him. I just wanted things to go back to normal.

I looked over at Steve from inside my sleeping bag. He was looking
straight up at the fabric roof, arms crossed behind his head. Pressing
my lips into a thin line I slid out of my sleeping bag, crawling to
him quietly.

He looked up surprised as he realized my presence, but couldn't get
any words out before I kissed him. I forced my mind back, turning my
body mechanical.

Crawling atop him I kissed more passionately, my screaming mind finally
going silent as my body took control of itself. I could feel his
hesitation before he kissed me back. Body numb and mind shut off I
jumped off the deep and started pulling his shirt over his head.

He took that as an okay, helping me undress him and myself. He looked
down at me cautiously only minutes later. "You sure you want to do
this."

I bit my lip and nodded yes, scared that if I opened my mouth I'd end
up screaming or bawling. Finally he pushed in.

. . .

I thought that once we did it it'd be okay, I'd feel better, less
dirty maybe, and he'd be happier. That we'd be closer and I'd feel
good enough. But it turned out all wrong.

I crossed my arms across my chest later, facing the wall as I did the
night before, hot tears falling down my face. I could hear his deep
breathing behind me, and feel his warm touch where his arms wrapped
around me.

But it wasn't the same. I was still dirty, if not dirtier. The monster
inside me was eating me apart, scratching and tearing at my insides
with sharp claws and fangs angered at my weakness. I was disgusting,
not good enough for anyone.

The tears tickled as they passed by my nose but I couldn't wipe them
off, I was too scared to move.

That was the worst part; that I couldn't sleep because I could feel
his arms around me, numb where they touched. Everywhere I looked I saw
red. This time it wasn't going away

. . . .

I'm sorry it took so long. I swore I'd never use excuses to take
time getting chapters out, but I am this once because it will affect
my updating in the future too. I am moving, both at my mom's house and
dads so I never really have time. I will try as hard as I can but
please try to understand.

Random Fact:
In our world:
1210 people are billionaires
2.5 Million people are millionaires
1.5 billion people love on less than 1 dollar a day.

Pretty messed eh?

Anyways thanks to:
-wishuy
-CherryV.83
-GREEKBLOOD
-ChrystalSpinning
-Believe In Something Bigger
-Independance Undervalued
-sammy4eva

For reviewing, even though it may not show it really means so much.
I'm really trying to write once a night for you guys!

Please review, I know I don't deserve them, but they're really
inspiring when I want to go to bed but stay up to write instead :)

Ps Ratings bumped up to M, sorry if offends anyone.