Hold on for One More Day
Chapter 12
"Of all the gin joints in all the world, she had to walk into mine..." The black and white movie continued to play on the TV but no one was watching it. The house had been abandoned Friday night and was yet to be reinhabited. Hours later, when the movie was long past over, a key turned in the lock and Jack stepped into his home. He tried to stay away from the memories taht walking through the halls brought to his mind. Kate and Natalie lived her for less than a year but he still couldn't look around the house without being reminded of all that he lost.
Tokyo, Singapore, Sydney. He used the Golden Pass that Oceanic had given them almost every weekend and each time he prayed that the plane would crash, he prayed taht he would get a second chance at the happiness he once had. he barely spent the night at the house, but whenever he did he spent a restless night on the couch, refusing to sleep in the bed that he once shared with Kate. He spent most weekdays at the hospital, sometimes working up to 32 hours without any sleep. He had become an empty shell and was nothing like the hero he once was.
The kitchen and the living room were basically the only two rooms he went into, using the kitchen for only one thing, a room to store the magical liquid that would drown away all the sorrows in his pathetic excuse of a life. So every night he would slowly go into the pantry and grab his bottle of liquour and then sit on the couch and drink until he couldn't feel the pain anymore. Tonight was no exception. Jack found a bottle of Daniel's on the cupboard floor and bent down to pick it up, grabbing a different bottle with it for when he finished this bottle. A new classic movie had already started, a movie that was all to familar to Jack. "Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high, there's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby." Following the road that would lead you home, to the way things had always been. Jack cringed at the thought and down the bottle currently residing in his hand. If he could punish himself then maybe he would realize that he had to get them back, no matter what it took. His mind began to wonder, and eventually led him to a play that he'd seen with his mother as a young boy. The man's name was Benjamin Barker and he had the perfect life until the jealousy of a judge took him away from his wife and daughter. When he was finally released he took up a life of revenge as Sweeney Todd. The words Todd spoke were what stuck with Jack, "I will have venegeance, I will have salvation." But the difference between Sweeney and Jack was that Jack's revenge was not angled at the people but at himself. he was the reason he felt this way, felt so alone. If he had just defended the people he loved then he wouldn't be living in this misery.
Today was a Sunday, a day filled with memories, as everyday was, but for some reason Sunday's were the worst. On Sunday's, Kate and Jack would always spend the entire day with each other and they would catch up on what they missed through the week. Their mornings would always start with Jack making them breakfast, since Kate usually slept in. Then, after breakfast, they would spend time with Natalie, often taking her to the beach and letting her play in the sand. Natalie usually went to bed around 8:30 and then Jack and Kate would sit on the couch, Kate cuddled closely to Jack, and they wold turn on the classic movies that Kate loved so much. And ever since Jack had punished himself by putting those movies on and sitting alone on the couch with his bottle of alcohol to reminisce on what he once had.
Every morning he woke up feeling as though he didn't belong, that he was a stranger in a strange land, but no matter the pain it brought to wake up he still managed to go on with his day.
Jack had attempted to committ suicide one night but instead caused a car accident, almost resulting in a woman and her son's deaths. From that point on Jack obsessed with his mission to find Kate, calling her at least four times a day. He had no idea where she went and when he tried asking her parole officer but all the man told him was that she was the second most important man in her life. For week's jealousy raged through him as he pictured Kate lying next to Sawyer with Natalie, his daughter, his little girl, crying out for him. It was the scene that haunted his dreams and he couln't escape it until he called Kate again. When he was about to give uup a voice came through with a hello.
"Hello? Kate? It's me...No just...I know but I just need to know...Are you with Sawyer?"
Kate had just gotten Natalie to go to sleep, a task that usually was virtually impossible, when her cell phone went off, waking Natalie up and causing Kate to groan in frustration. When she realized who was on the other line, tears filled her eyes. His voice sounded exhausted and she could just see his deep brown eyes filled with guilt, guilt that didn't belong to him. She had told Jack that it was his fault, that he was the reason for her leaving, but deep down Kate knew that she left because things were getting to safe, to normal and she had to do the only thing she knew, run. When he mentioned Sawyer, Kate couldn't help but laugh. "Jack I'm...I haven't seen Sawyer since the day we were rescued..." As if on cue to Jack's next question a voice in the background rang through. "Katie, are you okay?" Kate sighed as she replied before returning to her conversation with Jack. "Listen, I have to go but you don't have to worry, we're both safe and...just give me a little more time, okay?" And with that Kate hung up, leaving Jack alone once again, but at least he knew where she was and that she was with the only other man in the world who lvoed her as much as he did, her father. There were only two men that ever called Kate, Katie, Tom and her dad and seeing as Tom's dead that only left her father, who Jack knew lived in L.A.
The next few days went smoothly as the lingering memory of the obituary and the woman from the car crash were pushed to the back of his mind. But today was the day of the funeral and Jack resorted back to his pills and alcohol, driving around with Nirvana blasting on the radio. It was late that night before Jack tried to call Kate again. He had taken off his jacket and was wearing only his jeans and a wife beater. His bottle of whiskey was in one hand and his ringing cell phone in the other and he listened until her voice broke through.
"Hello? Jack I asked you not...I don't have...Fine but I'm not bringing her with me..." Kate hung up without saying goodbye again and slowly moved around the house, putting on a blue tank-top and a pair of jeans that she had bought after she had Natalie. She slowly ran her hands down her hips, smoothing out her shirt, and let out a mangled sob. Natalie was standing up in her crib now, looking at her with big brown eyes and Kate gave her a sad smile. "Hey Nat..." Natalie gave her a small pout before she sat down in the bottom of the crib and began wailing on the top of her lungs, holding her arms in the air for Kate to pick her up. Once she was safe in Kate's arms, she calmed down, and she looked up to Kate again and in a little baby gurgle said "Dada..." Kate slowly let the tears fall again, seeing how her running away, her inablity to stay still was hurting her daughter. Kate walked over to the DVD player and turned it on, sitting with Natalie in her arms. An old interview from after the crash was on the TV and Jack was talking to a reporter, a smile on his face as he looked around at all the survivors. This was Kate's secret to getting Natalie asleep when Jack wasn't there, her last resort so that Natalie could hear his voice. Natalie's limp body was leaning against Kate as she slowly drifted to sleep and Kate placed her in the crib, saying goodbye to her father, who gave her a knowing look and a sad smile. She shut the front door behind her and walked over to her father's Saab and climbed in, starting the engine and driving to the only place they went to get away, the place where they were both heading to start their entire journey together, LAX.
