Hell yeah, I chapter that I enjoyed writing! I hope it's just as good to read...
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Pain and confusion. Those were the first two things you felt as you regained consciousness. Everything ached, but your leg, head and back were the worst. You hissed and groaned as the feeling became more and more clear to you, leading you back into the waking world.
God, you hadn't felt this awful since you were picked up by Toriel all that time ago.
As you blinked away the fog in your head you noticed that you were lying somewhat on your back. You were pretty sure that was wrong; you'd been pressed up against that giant purple door so you were sure you'd only been able to fall forward. The light of your torch wasn't much help in figuring things out. It was still in your hand but you didn't have the energy to lift it and look through the darkness around you. Instead you worked on peeling your fingers off the warmed metal and letting it hit the ground with a rattle-y thunk. Your fingers were stiff and you were sure that there was an imprint of the handle on your palm.
There was a slight squeeze on one of your shoulders and you squinted up in the dark to see what it was. It turned out to be a hand. Attached to the hand was a body and on top of that was a head holding two little lights for eyes. Huh, that was Sans, wasn't it? What was that guy's deal and only getting close to you when you were messed up? The first time was after you'd been cauter-whatevered and the second time was when you had that weird episode in the living room and needed to sit down… but wait, what had happened this time?
Oh, that's right. He'd attacked you.
Your memories quickly returned and you glared hard. Despite the darkness of the hallway colour had returned to the world and your deep pink Soul was nowhere to be seen; but you could remember what happened before you hit the ground. Somewhere within you, you could still feel the small hits of magical damage that had been dealt to your Soul. The fight had made you aware of the little heart and unlocked your ability to sense it within you. If you concentrated you could picture your HP in your mind: 10/25.
When he saw your resentful stare was fixed hard on him, Sans immediately let go of your shoulder and pushed his previous emotions off his face. You hadn't even noticed his expression until it was wiped away. Had that been fear and concern? Guilt maybe? No. You must have imagined it. Or maybe you just didn't care what he was feeling right now.
"Y-You see?" he mumbled, not making eye contact any more, "ya wouldn't survive a second out there. If that's what- what I can do… And you're so weak you're fallin' over with almost half your HP still there... So ya know ya gotta stay with Paps and Tori or-"
"You dick."
That certainly got Sans to look at you again. God, you were pissed. How dare he look away from you! How dare he try to be all detached and emotionless after attacking you! And then trying to turn that shit around on you too, trying to make it your fault! Sure, you could be pretty compliant just to keep the peace, but that didn't mean you had to take everything lying down! You didn't have to listen to his weak attempts to justify the stupid stunt he'd just pulled! Did he even think his idiotic little plan through? For some reason you'd been under the impression that he was smarter than that!
"What the hell is wrong with you!?" you continued to hiss, "Do you really think that I could get past this giant ass door in my state?"
Wide eyes stared down at your angry ones. You got the impression that the moron really hadn't been expecting you to snap at him. Well, tough luck buddy. Just because you tried hard to be mild and considerate to others didn't mean you couldn't take yourself into consideration too. You had a balance to maintain between being courteous towards others while still being mindful of yourself and Sans had wrongfully thought he could twist that balance in his favour by scaring you.
"You said that you were-"
"I was bluffing!" you spat up from the floor, "I didn't even know this way led outside! If I really wanted to leave I would have used the front door like a sane person! I just wanted to check this place out. I thought there was a secret here, maybe. When you showed up I thought- I don't know what- But you actually attacked me! I wanted- I thought if I pushed you a bit you'd explain things..."
"I did explain." Sans replied, frustrated.
"No! You never explain anything! None of you do!" You whined miserably on the ground. The cold from the stone was seeping through your back and making you horribly uncomfortable. The freezing temperature did nothing to sooth your tight and aching muscles and you squirmed uncomfortably with the little energy you had.
Sans simply watched you struggle from his spot at your side, furrowing his brows (or lack thereof).
"Dunno how I could make it any more clear to ya, bud. Outside you'll die. You hafta stay here if you wanna live."
"Oh sure," you huffed, "stay here forever. I'm sure nothing will go wrong! You guys will just babysit me forever even though I'm human and you obviously need my Soul to give to King what's-his-face and I'll never have to worry about those Guard guys coming around and locking me up-"
"Wait, wait, how'd you find that stuff out?" Sans interrupted.
"Papyrus." You answered simply.
Sans stared at you before nodding and sighing, "Yeah, that seems likely. Bet he told you all 'bout how everyone's riled up about humans but can't pull themselves together enough to do the reports on 'em."
You nodded and he sighed even deeper.
"Ya think we're gonna eventually hand you over to the Royal Guard if we keep you here."
You nodded again, kind of impressed with how easily Sans worked it out. Maybe he did have some sense after all. He even said it as a statement rather than a question; a testament to his confidence in his deductions.
Sans shook his head at you, "We'd never do that. Paps and Tori both really like ya. That's why I came down here to stop you from throwin' your life away. I haven't seen either of them this bright for… months now. There's no way they'd let anythin' happen to ya, even though you're human."
"Yeah, sure." You grumbled. Groaning, you rolled onto your side away from Sans until you were leaning up on your forearms. The position still hurt your legs but you were sick of lying with your back against the cold floor. Part of you cursed the fact that Sans still didn't seem eager to help you, much like the last time you were struggling to move and he was the only one around. Another part was grateful he knew not to touch you because you probably would have smacked his hand away out of irritation.
"Come on, pal. Why dontcha trust us? Saving your life not good enough?"
"I want to trust you." You admitted quietly, staring at the ground between your arms, "I want to trust you and I do trust you. I just don't know why I trust you. I don't even know you. Any of you. Even though I've been here for ages now."
"Then why didn't ya just ask us?" Sans said, as if it was the simplest answer in the world.
You scoffed at him. Did he really think it was that easy? That it was that simple? Had he forgotten already?
"I tried but I can't really ask. I promised."
"Promised what?"
"That I wouldn't push you about the red-eyed person."
Silence followed your answer. You used the gap in the conversation to slowly and painfully push yourself up and backwards onto your knees. When you'd gotten yourself upright you sat backwards and pushed your legs out in front of you so they wouldn't get injured, particularly your bad leg.
Once you were adjusted you let out an exhausted sigh and stared up at the dark ceiling for a moment before looking back to Sans. Now that you'd gotten all of your initial anger out of your system you were feeling a lot calmer; not entirely forgiving, just slightly less irate. Sans was sitting beside you with a blank look on his face. The lights of his eyes were still present but they were very dim. If you weren't so drained you would have picked up your flashlight to actually see him clearly, but since you were too tired sitting in the dark was just fine by you.
"Didn't think you'd remember any of that." he finally admitted.
"I wasn't that out of it." You huffed.
"Could've fooled me."
You crossed your arms and hunched yourself over as Sans smiled and winked at you in the darkness. You weren't doing that out of childish anger though. No way. You were doing it because you were cold. It was cold in the basement. You weren't acting immature and if you were it was because you were still dizzy from when you'd suddenly seized up and passed out.
"Why do ya think that we're wound up about that anyway?" Sans asked you, "That stuff that happened was all up on the surface and no monsters can get up there."
"Don't pretend. I saw the way that you and Toriel looked at that knife and everything. You know something about it and it makes the house all… weird. Quiet and tense. I've had a lot of time to think about it and that's what I figured it was."
"Well, that's a good guess." Sans huffed a half-hearted laugh, looking down at his knees on the floor, "Technically, you didn't really promise anythin' but… Yeah. You're right. 'Dun really wanna talk 'bout that."
As you listened to Sans trail off into a mumble you came to a sudden realisation. Wow, how had you not come to the realisation before? Perhaps the tension of the house really had gotten to you. The tiny thought left you feeling a little guilty, somehow and you knew that it was only fair to admit your own fault to the guilty skeleton next to you.
"'S okay," you mumbled into your own arms as you pulled up your knees as best you could without hurting yourself, "I- I actually don't want to talk about it much either. I think I've been avoiding it too. I only thought about it… maybe three times over the past month?"
You cringed a little as you heard your own words out loud. You really weren't guilt free in this situation. Sure, you'd been focussing on other things over the past month, important things too, but your reason for that focus was the fear you had buried deep inside of you. To prevent yourself from thinking about those gleeful and haunting little eyes, you had busied yourself with paranoid thoughts about your health; instead of thinking about that night on the mountain, you had willfully positioned yourself to stress over the emotions of your monster caretakers; even just moments before you gave up on running off into the night and instead convinced yourself that exploring the basement was good enough, simply to avoid the possibility that you might run into your attacker again.
Yes, all of your actions were thoroughly thought out and justified and no, none of them had been pointless, but you had to admit that you'd been slightly motivated by a fear you hadn't been completely aware of- That you'd latched onto your implied promise to not speak about your attacker because a scared and selfish part of you simply didn't want to.
"I'm not going to just forgive you for being stupid like this. You shouldn't have attacked me," you said and Sans twitched slightly from regret, "but I think I can feel where that bad decision came from. I mean, I was the one to come down here and start pushing you because of my own paranoia... Look what a great idea that turned out to be. Ha…"
You could feel Sans' eyes on you for a moment before he gave out a weak laugh of his own. He was still mumbling but at least he looked at you as he spoke now.
"Guess we're both good at overthinkin' this kinda stuff. Shoulda known. I guess I- Well, I gotta be honest, I'm findin' it hard to trust you too even though you've been here a while. And before you ask: yeah, it's 'cause you're human."
You nodded at the admission and he sighed, probably as glad to have the bitter truth out in the air as you were.
After a moment you broke the silence, "So you don't trust me, but you want me to stay?"
"Like I said, Tori and Paps really like ya." Sans shrugged, pushing himself to sit up against the brick wall across from you and shoving his hands into his pockets, "In fact, it's the opposite for them: they wanna look after ya specifically 'cause you're human."
You raised a curious eyebrow. You had no intention of prompting the skeleton to elaborate further, but it seemed as though he wanted to get some stuff off of his chest, so you let him.
"Paps had a- well, he met a human once. He called 'em his friend, even though they kinda left him hangin' at the end there and they weren't actually… Well, my bro always sees the best in people. He's pretty cool like that. Point is, that human's… gone now, and the Royal Guard he was workin' so hard to join is all messed up. Takin' care of you 's been good for him. When I talked with Tori and she said he could help her take care of the next human that fell he threw everythin' he had into it. It was like he was back to normal again and that other human never happened."
"... I think part of it was because of you."
It was mostly thanks to his bright eye-lights that you could see Sans tilt his head in the darkness. You could tell he didn't quite get what you meant, so you elaborated.
"When I was talking to him, he said that you'd been acting off for a couple of months before I got here. I'm pretty sure that a good part of why he's trying so hard with me is because he just wants to gain your trust and make you stop worrying. In fact, he pretty much just up and admitted it. He covered it up with a ton of positivity, sure, but I think he's actually really worried about you."
There was a moment where Sans sat completely still before his eyes crinkled upwards. Even with the minimal light you could see how the simple action made his smile appear ten times bigger than normal.
"Heh. Yeah, my bro's the best," he said fondly, his whole body language lighting up with pride, "Lot's a people just think he's just loud and all that junk, but he's got the brightest Soul in the entire Underground. Everyone underestimates him. Yeah, that's, you're right- that's exactly somethin' he would do…"
You let the silence sit as Sans became somewhat lost in his thoughts. He still had some affection flitting through his eyes from talking about his brother, but it seemed that there was some worry and regret mixed in with it now too.
"What about Toriel?" You asked quietly, drawing Sans out of his thoughts.
"Oh yeah, Tori… Tori has this thing where she takes care of every human that falls down here. She really wants to protect 'em, for her own reasons. Thing is, every human who's fallen down here ends up leavin'; from what she's told me they usually they bolt the first chance they get. 'S kinda one of the reasons I've been keepin' such a close eye on ya, y'know, besides the obvious."
You nodded solemnly, "So they all died out there?"
"Uh, pretty much." Sans pulled one of his hands out of his jacket and scratched at his cheek as he looked off into the darkness. You tried not to show how uncomfortable the sound of his bones scraping against each other made you feel. "Humans are all different, but she tried to care for each of 'em anyway. Guess most of 'em didn't feel comfortable with that though. Even with you she was so happy… But, uh, the more you recover, the more she's tryna distance herself from ya. She's scared that you'll run off too first chance ya get, and hey, she wasn't wrong."
Guilt hit you hard and you had to look away to collect your thoughts. You hadn't known that you were such an important source of stability for the three monsters. Most of your thoughts had drifted to the possibility that you were a burden, but Sans' words made sense to you. His explanations seemed too sentimental and raw to be lies.
You finally had the truth. You could finally shut down your whispering anxieties. Now all you had to deal with was the guilt of having come up with such a risky plan like 'running away'.
"I'm sorry. I wish we'd talked about all of this sooner." you said quietly. "I should have thought of a way to just talk about all this stuff instead of assuming the worst."
"Hey, you and me both, pal." Sans chuckled.
You smiled at the skeleton. That was the second time he'd called you 'pal' and it somehow made you feel a bit more at ease to hear it. It felt like that things were just a bit closer to being natural, just the way they should be.
"Welp, can't stay down here all night. Gotta get to sleep. We've got a lot to do tomorrow."
Suddenly Sans stood and reached his hand down to you. You looked up at him in confusion.
"What are we doing tomorrow?" You asked taking his hand. He didn't put much effort into helping you up, but you got the feeling that that was just because he was actually genuinely relaxed around you now and was just being lazy. Once you were standing he pushed your walking stick and torch into your hand. Wait, how had he picked those things up without you noticing?
"Well, you're going to go through the Ruins with us aren't ya? Paps would be pretty disappointed if you slept all day and didn't get to try out his puzzles."
Your eyes lit up in excitement as you slowly realised what Sans was saying.
"We're- you trust me now? I can finally go out of the house?"
"Hey, I know I said I didn't trust ya before 'cause you're human, but I do trust you as you. I want to trust ya and I do trust ya. Just didn't know why," Sans winked as he repeated your earlier words back at you, "'till I got to know you."
For the first time since your first time speaking directly with him, aside from when you'd first met, you let out a small, genuine laugh. You knew that he meant what he'd said and you were glad to trust him too.
"C'mon. From now on we're gonna put our best foot forward."
"... Sans, seriously?"
You got the feeling that things were actually going to be okay.
