Chapter 12

Allison stood outside the Project Odin headquarters in DC. She knew that Odin himself was waiting for her, but she didn't care. JJ was safe and was cared for. She could care less about anything else. JJ had always been her one concern and now, she could be punished or die, it didn't matter, because she knew that Emily was going to be there for JJ no matter what. She'd proven herself to both Allison and JJ over and over again. Emily was the better woman for her. She could be what Jennifer needed and strangely enough, Ally was totally okay with that. She just wanted Jennifer to be happy and Emily made her happy. There was nothing more. It didn't matter how many cases she landed or finished. There was no score board that she cared about. It was always Jennifer. She had been her weakness since Georgetown and she knew that Odin, Thor, and Sif knew it.

But, then again, she was Freya. Mythically, she was the wife of Odin. In reality, she was their best female undercover operative. She helped devise training missions. She helped write protocols. She did everything that they had ever asked her, including breaking all ties with Jennifer. She had. But, she'd also made sure that JJ was cared for, loved, and looked after. She made sure that there was someone there to protect even when she couldn't protect herself. She'd done background checks on Will to make sure that he was worthy of Jennifer, but it had been Emily's assessment of him that sealed it for her. She'd even sent JJ a wedding gift, but she'd never knew who it was from.

Everything was how it should be. Jennifer was with Emily. And, Ally was returning back to the fold of Project Odin as Freya, like always. Things were going to be normal again. Except this time, she wouldn't have a nagging feeling in the back of her mind about Jennifer because now, she knew. She knew and she had proof of Emily's love and care for her. There was no more reasons for her to worry.

Huffing, she entered the building and made her way up through the floors to Odin's floor. His office was on the south side over looking the Potomac, but the whole floor was his office suite. She knew that it was supposed to be imposing, but she couldn't bring herself to care. He didn't scare her. He never did. And, maybe that was part of the problem for her working there now. She wasn't scared of hierarchy. She did her job just like the rest of the recruits in Project Odin, but she followed orders out of a sense of obligation and necessity rather than fear, being ordered, and status. She could just as easily walk away from this now as she could have in college. She had chosen not to, though because she wanted to protect her country and those she loved...mostly Jennifer...okay, only Jennifer Jareau.

"I see you've come home," Odin said as he spun around in his high backed, leather, office chair.

"Home is a relative term, Odin and you know that," she replied as she walked passed his desk and him to stare out the bank of windows to the river below.

"And, your friend survived."

"She did."

"We got our man," Odin said.

"We got one only to flush out another one. Unfortunately, I will not be able to pursue him because he knows me and knows that I was working for the government. The FBI is still looking for him. I believe that the BAU and Homeland security are currently working a joint task force to find him."

"He was the bomber?"

"Yes."

"Then, I will look into what they have an direct a mission accordingly. But, in all seriousness, you did a good job with that group near Augusta. We took care of a major problem before it could get out of hand. You must be proud of that," he stated.

"I am proud of the work that I do. I always have been. If I didn't, I wouldn't still be here and you know that."

"Then, why did you come back?"

"What is that supposed to mean?" she asked turning around to find him staring at her from his chair.

They were watching each other. Both of them master manipulators, master readers of people and their micro and macro-expressions, and both in the top echelon of the organization, and both of them unwilling to back down when it came to the protection of the country. These were the people that you didn't want to piss off and these were the people that you were glad were on your side in a conflict. They were willing to do the unimaginable if they had to, but for the most part they stayed within the boundaries of the law. For some, it was considered a flaw, but the other black ops agents and organizations understood. They were still bound to follow the law as they brought down those who tried to destroy the country and the government from within. They were the watchdogs, the secret police, but they never went after the innocent. They did so much damn research that it would fill a building before they did anything. They used the Alphabets to get their ground work done and once someone was inserted, they would keep the appropriate channels informed. And, when the time was right, they would strike or work with the Alphabets to take down whoever they were after. They were the elite. They were the best and worst that this country had to offer in their field. And, they were at an impasse on what to do with each other.

"You want to leave," he said matter-of-factly.

"I don't know that, that is true."

"You don't want to stay," he replied.

"I think I need a break."

"A normal leave between missions or something longer?" he asked.

Her shoulders dropped. Her head fell against the glass in front of her. She brought one hand up and placed it on the cool glass. Her entire being betrayed her.

"It's okay, Allison. I know that you've been in deep for years. You deserve a break. You can take one if you'd like," he offered.

"What about the Project?"

"What about it?"

"Aren't there other missions that I need to work on?" she questioned.

"There are always going to be missions, but that doesn't mean that you have to work them all. We all need some time away. Don't feel like you have to be the one leading everything. There are more agents that share your capabilities, Ally. You are code named Freya. That makes you one of my top agents and my right hand in most things. You've earned that designation, but that also gives you more leeway than other agents."

"Such as?" Ally asked.

"Your house in Columbia."

"You know about that?"

"I know every house that you have. I have to, Ally. It isn't because I don't want you to have a life. It is so I can protect you and the Project as a whole. We operate under government guidelines but we don't officially exist. Allison, don't feel bad about needing to get away. I actually encourage it. You've been under for so long that I am not sure you know who you are anymore sometimes."

"I know who I am, Odin. I've never forgotten that. I'm always Allison or Ally. The last name doesn't matter because we don't even know if it is my real last name since I am an orphan. It's never bothered me. It was the reason that you recruited certain orphans. We can disappear and no one would miss us but the agency."

"There's that," he said standing.

She turned and looked at him. His graying hair barely betraying the darkness that used to be there. His dark charcoal suit made him look like any of the DC area business men. It was all in the look. She knew that. He could be whoever he needed to be just as she could. He had been her mentor at one point, just like Thor and Sif had been as well. It was always a welcomed sight to see one them picking her up after an operation, but this time it wasn't.

"Was there any other reason?"

"Always. There are always different reasons that I recruit anyone. You did well in the psyche evals. You took other tests before we ever approached you. You were the perfect candidate. And, to be honest, you are the longest running agent we've had. I believe that you are finally starting to crack. It happens to all of us. We were all just wondering when it would happen to you. Allison, there is no reason for you to be here unless you still want to be. We can set you up comfortably. You wouldn't have to work. The choice is yours," he told her.

"Is it? Is it really or are you firing me? I screwed up. I know it. I get it."

"You didn't screw up, Allison. You got the man and you helped secure more intel against another Loki. We will handle finding him. The bomber will not have it easy and that is because of your work. Take some time off, go back to Columbia if you wish. Decide what you want you to do. I am not going to hold anything against you. This is your choice. Do whatever you feel is right," he told her as he moved across the office to pour them both a drink.

"I can't. I don't have a life beyond the agency. I gave it all up to become Freya. Besides..."

"Besides what?" he asked returning with two tumblers full of whiskey.

"I am not who I used to be. I can't be who she needs and she never loved me like that. I'm also not going to stand between her and Emily. I am not that person and I never will be. She's happy and that makes me happy. Maybe, someday, I can find someone that does that for me again."

"You won't know until you look," he said as she sipped at her glass.

"I wouldn't know where to look," she replied.

"Columbia sounds like a good place to start, yeah?"


It had been two weeks since Emily's outburst on the interstate. She been in her old apartment over looking the Mall and the Washington Monument. She hadn't said anything further to JJ since then. She didn't know what to say. She was giving JJ time and space, something she'd decided on her own that they both needed. But, now, staring out her window to the majestic city below, she felt alone and trapped. She'd made herself this way, but she didn't know that she could get out of it either. So, she did what she always did when things got too emotional for her. She buried herself in a case. She had Garcia looking into the bomber from North Augusta. She was following up on leads for that while the rest of the team did their consults. Fortunately, they hadn't caught a big case yet.

There was a pounding at her door. She turned and stared at it. She wasn't sure that she was going to answer it. She knew that no one but the building super had a key to it. Her own mother didn't even have a key. She liked her privacy and it was the only way that she would be able to maintain it. The pounding stopped for a minute. She turned back around to the window and her own musings. As soon as she got settled back into her thoughts, the pounding started again.

She threw her hands up and gave up on the whoever was calling to leave. It was obvious that they knew Emily was home and that they were in the right place. She turned away from the window and made her way across her living room to the small foyer. She looked out the peep hole and saw JJ. Her heart leaped into her throat. She debated for a second whether or not she was going to open the door, until she saw JJ start beating on the door again. It was obvious that she had something to say and she wasn't going to leave until she did.

"Emily, I know you're there. Open the door. Let me in or I'll tell everyone about what happened on our way home the other day," she threatened.

Emily reached over and undid the safety chains and deadbolts. She unlocked the main knob and pulled the door open. JJ just stood there in a pair of jeans that looked painted on, but hella comfortable, an adorably short, light blue polo, and a smile. Emily felt her heart skip a beat as she moved just enough to get out of the way for her to enter the condo. She turned around and closed the door and locked it quickly.

"So are you going to talk to me or you going to shut me out like you have been doing at work for the last two weeks?" JJ asked in a huff.

Emily quirked a smile. She couldn't help it. No matter how big and bad Jennifer Jareau got, she would always be that innocent, All American blonde from East Allegheny that joined the FBI because she wanted to make a difference. She would never be the jaded woman that stood before others now. Emily would always remember her first time meeting her as the media liaison. She maybe the best shot in FBI, but she didn't scare Emily on a normal day. But, today after their trip alone back to DC in that SUV from North Augusta, Jennifer Jareau was the scariest person that Emily would ever have to face.

"You gonna answer me or just stand there?" JJ questioned trying to get Emily's full attention.

Emily went to open her mouth, but she didn't know what to say. She was completely at a loss. Of course, she could break down and speak French because she knew that JJ wouldn't completely understand her. She'd done it before. Hell, she told JJ she loved her on so many occasions after everything went down with Hastings that she forgot that she hadn't said it in English. She'd even done it in the SVU on the way back from Columbia and seeing Allison, before she'd just come right out and said it to her. And, that was when Emily, the outgoing, politics hating woman turned into an introvert. How could four, simple, little words break Emily Elizabeth Prentiss completely? She was still trying to figure that out.

"Emily?"

She shook her head and blinked a few times. She gave JJ her political function smile, the one that she'd perfected as a kid, the one that seemed so genuine but was so fake. As soon as she did, she knew that JJ saw right through it.

"Sorry."

"That's all you have to say: sorry? Really? You've been avoiding me for two weeks just to say, 'sorry'?"

"I don't know what else to say."

"Really? That's what you are going to go with. You tell me that you love me in the car on the way to Augusta only to find out that we missed the plane. Well, we didn't miss it. You sent it on ahead and decided to drive back. You said something about needing to clear your head. And, I sure as hell wasn't going to let you make that drive by yourself after the case we just finished and what you just said to me. So, then we get back to DC and you clam up. I don't get it. You've told me that you've loved me so many time in other languages I was sure what to make of it. But then you say in English, to my face when we're alone, and I am not supposed to notice this or care about it? I don't get it, Emily. What am I missing?" JJ inquired.

"You knew?"

"You're a master of languages. Did you not think that I wouldn't look it up? Google is amazing. Especially since sometimes I was on my phone when you said it."

"I can't believe this," Emily said as she turned back around to face the Mall.

"Why?"

"You weren't ever supposed to know and now, I've told you. I know that we've been getting close since everything went down with Will, but you have your life. I shouldn't be pushing myself into it. Besides you are technically my subordinate," Emily reasoned.

"When have we ever followed the rules?" JJ probed as she moved closer to her.

Emily actually smiled at that, because she knew that JJ was right. They were the BAU but they did things their own way sometimes. Who could blame them? They got results, even when they faked deaths and went rogue. JJ and Emily were the two who were the worst about it. They did what they had to do to get the job done and sometimes, emotions be damned, they didn't exactly follow protocol. Sometimes they made it up as they went along. Kinda like Emily was doing with this.

She looked into JJ's brilliant blue eyes. They both took steps towards each other. JJ reached out for her, knowing that she would have to be the one that made the first step. Pulling Emily closer to her, she held her face as she lost herself in the emotions showing in Emily's darkening eyes.

"I love you, too, Emily. I have for a while. And, no matter what, I am not going to let you go. I am going to fight for us."

"JJ..."

"No, Ally made her choices and so have I. We are two different people than we were in school. Georgetown was so long ago, Emily. I let her go because I was afraid and unsure of who I was. I didn't fight her or for us when I wanted to. I may have lost her, but I am not going to lose you."

"JJ..." Emily started shaking her head, tears forming in her eyes. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too, Emily. I think I have since I first saw you, but then I let myself get lost. I don't regret what and who I've become. I loved Will. I love my children. I wouldn't replace them with anything. But, now, I can say that I can have you and I plan on doing that," JJ told her.

"Oh, you do, do you?" Emily asked teasingly.

"I do," JJ stated and punctuated it with a deep and passionate kiss making sure that Emily got the point.