I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT.

Here we go, another update. A lot has gone on since my last update. One of my best friends' girlfriend came to visit from the air force. It was the first time in almost six months that Jeni met her, so it was pretty intense lol. And then we went to Michigan for four days. It was beautiful. I didn't want to come home to the ugly Central Valley. But, alas, reality always comes knocking on your door. So this is the first chance I've gotten to add to my story. The next few chapters are rough on me. I wish I could skip to all the sunshine and rainbows, but I can't. That's not how the world works.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. And don't be overly hard on Jazz. I love him. And so do all of you, despite his ability to frustrate the hell out of us at times, lol.

Here Goes.

BPOV-

I don't think I've ever been so nervous in my life. My stomach was in knots and there were about a million butterflies fluttering about in my uterus. I hadn't seen or heard from Jasper since he ran from my yard the night of the dance. How would our first meeting since we shared that incredible kiss in the rain be? Was it supposed to be a secret, or would he have already told the boys? Would he want to talk about it, figure things out? Would it be awkward? I was expecting it to be awkward. I didn't know what would happen, but I sure as hell didn't expect what did.

***

I've never felt before the way I did with just one kiss from Jasper. Granted, it was the most passionate, intense kiss I'd ever experienced. He left me there that night breathless and disoriented. Weak in the knees with a frustrated, burning knot deep in the pit of my gut. A knot much different than the ones I was feeling that Monday. When I fell into bed that night in my ratty sweats and Charlie's old U of W shirt, I could still feel his hands on me. I could still taste him on my mouth. And I could definitely still smell him. I hugged his jacket to my chest all night, enveloped by his warm, comforting Jasper smell. I slept that way all weekend, wishing it was him in my arms. Stupid, stupid girl.

I laid awake for hours that Friday night, sifting through the events in my head over and over again, wondering how it could be possible to feel so safe in someone's arms and yet so terrified at the same time. Terrified that he would disappear right there in front of my eyes. Terrified that while it all felt so impossibly right to me... to him it could all be a game.

And what did he mean? "Safe from him." What the fuck? Everything Jasper said seemed to have some secret, twisted double meaning. Apparently, I was ill-equipped and lacked the codes necessary to decipher him.

I thought often of the story he told me about his father. The tragic story he'd never told anyone else. The story that made my heart ache for him. Why did he tell me? He barely knew me. And yet he'd chosen me to trust with his deepest secret. What the hell did that mean? God, I was in over my head.

***

The girls scowled at me as I climbed into the backseat of Rose's red beauty.

"You're in big trouble, Bella," Alice said into the visor mirror as she finished applying her lipgloss. She forced the impact of her hard glare at me through the mirror before snapping the visor shut and folding her arms across her chest.

"Yeah, Bells. Seriously. Do you know how fucked up it is to vanish right before our eyes without even telling any of us? I mean, we felt a little better once we knew you were with Jazz. Actually, Emmett's even more pissed about that," Rose told me in a much more patient tone than Aly had used.

"Look, guys--"

"And then you don't answer your phone?! How could you do that to us, Bella? Don't we deserve to hear some details?" Alice whined. She'd turned around in her seat to pout at me, so she wasn't aware of Rose vehemently shaking her head and pointing at Aly, letting me know it was Alice and not her who felt jilted over the lack of so-called details. Rose was suprisingly not a gossip queen. I held back a laugh and tried to focus on placating the pixie-sized, offended she-devil.

"Alice, I know you're upset, and you have valid reasons to be, but can I have the floor for just a second? Rose, if you don't get moving we're gonna be late to first period," I said.

"Oh. Right." Rose pulled away from my house and drove in silence with contemplation coloring her furrowed brow.

"Aly?"

"Fine. Let's hear it," she said with a dramatic sigh.

"I'm sorry I didn't call. Ok? I shouldn't have gone MIA like that. It was inconsiderate and I was only thinking of myself. I'm sorry. I didn't realize the worry it would cause you guys." That softened her up quite a bit. The frown evaportated and she started nodding her little head around like a Taco Bell dog on the dash of a Plymouth.

"We were very worried, Bella. All of us. We didn't know you were with Jazz till Eddie told us. Until then we thought we'd find you on the side of the road somewhere!"

"Alice--"

"Ad when you didn't answer your phone, we thought for sure something bad had happened or he hurt your feelings! It was awful!" she said at a rate of over ninety miles an hour.

"I know, Alice. I'm very sorry and I promise it'll never happen again," I said as patiently as possible.

"Well, what was the real reason you went AWOL, Bells?" Rose asked her rearview mirror.

"Ok, look, you guys know you're usually the first people I call in situations like these. But the truth is, I didn't call because I don't have a way to answer your questions. I don't know what's going on with me and Jasper. I don't know if anything even is. I don't know what to expect from him and I don't have a clue what he expects from me. I have a million questions myself, questions that can't be answered untill this day is over. As soon as I can answer my own questions, I'll answer yours. And I'll give you all the details you want. You'll just have to be patient."

After a moment, Rose and Aly looked at each other, smiled, and nodded. They're so simultaneous.

"Ok, you're forgiven," Alice said cheerfully. Then she squealed in delight.

"Ow," Rose said monotonously, referring to her busted ear drum.

"I can't wait to hear all about it! I'm so excited!" Alice went on without missing a beat.

"Don't get excited yet, Al. I don't wanna jump the gun. Who knows? He may have decided in the last two days that he's not all that into me after all," I reminded her. Rose exerted a very unladylike snort.

"that's highly unlikely. But Bella's right, Alice. We both agreed to hear the gory details after today is over. Leave her alone about it until she's ready."

She said this as we pulled into the parking lot and found a spot close to the front gate. Alice looked put upon for having to wait, but said no more on the subject of her excitment. Until I unfastened my seatbelt, calling her attention to my torso.

"Wait a sec," Alice said after noticing what was laying across my lap. She elbowed Rose and pointed. "Isn't that Jazz's favorite jacket?"

Both girls quirked an eyebrow at me as I groaned and threw my head back against the seat.

It was going to be a long day.

***

Jasper wasn't there when we got out of the car and met the others in the parking lot. He wasn't there in second period civics when I took my seat in our usual spots. When the late bell rang, I started getting worried, thinking he was never gonna show up. My sanity couldn't take another day of unanswered questions.

Then I looked up at the sound of the door clicking shut. And I kinda fucking wished he'd stayed home.

He was looking at me from just inside the door. He didn't look happy to see me at all. He didn't even look upset at the sight of me, which actually would've been better. He looked... indifferent. Indifferent with the slightest hint of annoyance. It was a look I never wanted to see on his face again. I'd rather it be scrunched up in rage. At that moment, I wished I had the ability to blend in with my chair.

"Subtle" sure wasn't part of his vocabulary.

He sat on the opposite side of the room. Three rows over and one seat back. I knew that without even looking. I could feel him there. And for a split second, I hated being so fucking aware of him.

The emotions his attitude provoked from me were incredible. I wanted to cry, scream, and throw one mother of a temper tantrum while simultaneous asking him what I did wrong and turning into melted butter at the sight of him. I hated how in control he was of my mood. It was ludicrous as well as really fucking inconvenient.

I sat through the whole fifty minute class with my teeth clenched and my back ramrod straight. Once in a while, I felt his eyes on me, probably making sure I wasn't about to break down. Arrogant bastard. I did not look back at him. My pride kept my eyes glued to the surface of my desk. But I did notice Tyler Crowley and Mike the douchebag Newton eyeing me suspiciously and passing high fives to one another, no doubt throwing a mental parade at the knowledge that the dance hadn't gone their idea of "well" for Jasper and I.

But it had gone well. Jasper couldn't deny that any more than I could. We'd made a real connection up there on that old water tower. He'd opened up to me of his own free will. With no real prodding from me. That's gotta mean something, right? And that kiss. That was no every day kiss. There was power and passion behind that kiss. To follow that with such a cold, cavalier ability to ignore me and everything we'd shared was mind-boggling, not to mention insulting.

By the end of class, I was more angry than hurt. Angry that because of him, I'd spent an entire hour thinking like a crazy, over-analytical girl. He'd made me a fucking cliche. That pissed the hell out of me. It was that anger that gave me the balls to go right up to his desk when the bell rang. Before he had the chance to get up from his seat, I was there standing over him. The ball was in my court, my racket aimed at his perfect face. I tossed his jacket onto his desk and stood with my hands on my hips. The female stance of power.

"There's your jacket," I said with as little emotion as possible. My voice barely shook, and I mentally patted myself on the back for hiding my overwhelming anger so well. He didn't deserve to see how much his behavior effected me. No need to give him that power.

"Thanks," he returned. He was much better at monotone than I was. The smirk on his face and his uncaring response clouded my vision with rage. I wanted to stangle his pretty neck. I no longer had control over my level of upset. I scoffed. Alice would be proud of my sudden ability to be melodramatic.

"That's all you have to say to me? 'Thanks'?!" Ugh, I sounded like a fucking girl.

Jasper shrugged and sighed as he stood up, picking his jacket up with one hand and slinging his bag around his shoulder. He walked around his desk to stand so close to me I had to bend my neck all the way back in order to glare into his eyes. He stared at my mouth for a moment, and if it weren't for my anger I would've been tempted to kiss him. But then the corner of his mouth twitched and came up infinitesimally.

"Figured it was the appropriate response," He said smugly. And then he brushed past me and strode out of the classroom like he didn't know me at all.

JPOV-

The goddamn jacket smelled like her.

As if it wasn't difficult enough to pretend I didn't care. Fuck! It was the hardest thing I'd ever done. I had seriously considered not going to school at all before realizing what an outright pussy that would make me. Why put off the inevitable?

I was lucky she wasn't looking when I first walked into class. It gave me time to collect my wits and plaster fake indifference to my face. On the outside I didn't give a flying fuck. But on the inside I wanted nothing more than to sit next to her and watch her chew on her lower lip while she read the boring civics book. I wanted nothing more than to hold her fucking hand in the halls. I couldn't do that. I had to man up and stay away from her.

My resolve nearly broke in half when she looked up at me. She looked so confused, her tiny brows coming together as she no doubt wondered what she had done wrong. Silly Bella. She'd done absolutely nothing wrong. She probably thought she was the one being punished, when in reality I was only punishing myself.

By the end of class, I was finally getting the hang of my little act. I was feeling pretty confident that I wouldn't give up the fight. And then, like a flash, she was right there in front of me when the bell rang. I thought for sure I was a goner when she threw my jacket at me and her scent wafted up through my nose and right into my soul. Shit the fuck, it was like she washed it with Bella Detergent!

She stood there looking pretty pissed off, and it was so hard not to smile. She looked so damned cute with her hands on her hips and that little scowl on her face. Like the smallest kitten with sharpest claws. The kitten that thinks it's a tiger. I wanted to kiss the frown away. Instead, I baited her. Either because I'm just a dick like that, or because I honestly thought If I made her mad enough, it wouldn't hurt so much for her. Regardless, it worked and she stopped trying to pretend not to care. She wasn't very good at hiding her emotions anyway.

I couldn't stop myself from getting so close to her one last time. I knew it was a mistake as soon as my face was in such close proximity to her mouth. God, I wanted to kiss her! Her vulnerabilty was the most endearing thing I'd ever witnessed and angry Bella was sexy as hell. This was gonna be one hell of a lot harder than I'd anticipated. I'd tried staying away from her before, and it hadn't worked. But now that I'd kissed her it would be nearly impossible. One taste of her and I was addicted. She was like heroin. But I had just the right initiative to stick it out this time. So I walked away. Because I was doing it for her. Problem was, she didn't know that. And I had a feeling she was stubborn enough to put up a fight.

The classes between civics--my new hell-- and lunch were easier. I didn't have to look at her while I tried my best to stick to the plan. I just had to take it one day at a time. It would get easier after a few days, when the feel of her skin beneath her wet dress left my fingers. After the taste of her lips left my mouth. I'd been infatuated with Bella for only a week now. I knew better than to think she'd be on my mind forever. The same logic went for her too, and it made me feel a little better to know that in no time we'd be able to settle into a friendship. That was a nice thought, because it'd be a shame to miss out on knowing her at all.

***

Lunch came like a friggin lightning bolt. Part of me dreaded seeing her again in the same day. Another part of me, apparently the more dominant part, couldn't wait. It was the latter side of me that caused me to practically sprint to the cafeteria. I was there before the others. I hoped one of the guys would come to lunch first. They'd surely put me in the right mindset. Even Rose would be better than Aly. Aly would no doubt bombard me with questions I didn't wanna answer.

Turns out the guys didn't show up first to bail me out. And neither did Alice. Bella did. And she was the furthest thing from happy.

I suppose I was relieved that she was mad as opposed to crying. I wouldn't have been able to watch that. I would've folded faster than a bad hand of poker.

"Jasper," she said snidely.

"Bella."

"So.." she began. She looked up through her lashes to see if I was willing to let her continue.

"Go on," I said.

"Well. Would you mind letting me in on what exactly goes on in that head of yours? You've kinda given me whiplash here." At least she wasn't chewing me out.

"No," was all I could say.

"No? Just no? That isn't very fair, Jasper."

She was right, but what else could I do?

"Look, I know you don't understand and you're angry--"

"Yeah, I'm fuckin angry, Jasper! You made me the fool. That does not happen to me. I'm fuckin smart, ok? I don't allow myself to be made into a fool."

"I'm not making a fool outta you, ok? Just, please, leave it alone. I know I owe you an explanation, but trust me. It's easier for you if I don't."

"Oh, right, now I'm supposed to trust you. What the hell ever. You're such a fucking guy." She was hitting the nail on the head quite a bit that day.

"Yeah, I am. So be happy to be rid of me."

"Oh, I am. You saved me the trouble of ditching you myself. My pride has been disbanded, that's all. That's the only reason I give a shit," she said. That stung a bit, despite the fact that I knew she was lying her tight jeans off.

"Oh, really? You planned on kicking me to the curb?" I asked, not bothering to hide the amused smile I knew would piss her off.

"Yep."

"Well, good. Now I don't feel so bad." Yes I did.

She scoffed.

"Hey guys." Emmett.

"What's up?" Rose.

"The fuck's wrong with you two?" Edward.

So they'd arrived, right in the middle of the hellfire. Good timing. I wasn't much into continuing the conversation anyway.

"Hey," I said, ignoring Edward's perceptive question. Bella said nothing. She just stared down at her food like a wounded puppy. Fuck my life.

"What are you guys talking about?" Emmett asked. Bella's head snapped up.

"Nothing," we said in unison. Nice. As if they wouldn't be suspicious of our behavior already.

"Well, alright," Edward said. Rose looked from Bella to me and back again as she chewed on a granola bar, one eyebrow raised in an unspoken question mark. She didn't say anything though, which is something I fuckin loved about Rose. She never asked too many fucking questions.

"Hey guys!" Alice said as she pranced over to our table.

"Hey, doll," I said with the first genuine smile of the day. It was hard to be glum around Aly. She strolled around the table and plopped down in Edward's lap. He groaned and she ignored him with a happy little sigh.

"I have high hopes for today," she said thoughtfully.

"Oh, yeah?" Edward chuckled. "And why's that?" She sighed again and shook her head, taking a bite of her celery stock.

"I donno yet. But I know something good is gonna happen." Always the eternal optimist. Edward ruffled her hair and she squealed.

"Eddie!" she screeched, hitting him in the head with the celery. He just laughed.

"So how was the dance?" Emmett asked Bella and I through a mouthful of cafeteria pizza. We stared at each other for several moments, waiting to see who would speak first. I raised an eyebrow at her, daring her to answer. I knew she wouldn't, so I stared right into her eyes as I spoke up for her.

"Good. We had a great time," I said honestly. Bella shook her head and looked away.

"That's good. You guys had us worried for a while. Where'd you go?" he asked. The big guy had more questions than the girls!

"We went up to the water tower. It started raining, so I took Bella home. How was it for you, Em?" I asked, giving him a look that said I was done answering his questions.

"Fine, I guess." He shrugged.

"Did anyone else get any this weekend? Cause I know I did!" Edward said, just to bait me.

"Shut the fuck up, Cullen." Now Bella and I were both looking forlornly at our untouched trays. And everyone knew something was up. I had some explaining to do. I knew that from the look on Emmett's face. The look that said two things. He wanted answers, and fast. And if I hurt Bella, I wouldn't be capable of "getting any" from anyone. Ever.

EMPOV-

Something was wrong. I couldn't put my finger on exactly what was off about them, but I knew something was. Something definitely was. It was in their body language. It was in the way they looked at each other. It was even in the way they didn't.

It wasn't just her, either. Sure, she looked upset. But so did he. When I looked at them, I saw two magnets drawn to each other. And then I saw one magnet being turned in the opposite direction, the magnetic pull being disengaged against their own will. What the fuck?

Neither of them spoke unless spoken to directly. Bella wouldn't look at Jazz at all, although it took a lot of effort. She'd start to, whenever he'd speak or move. Or breathe. But she'd catch herself as if she wasn't allowed to look at him. He was just as strange. He'd only look when he thought no one would see. And the look on his face was one I'd never seen from Jasper before. He looked like a stray dog. Worse, he looked like a dog who grew up with a family, and was then left on a rainy street one day. It was depressing as fuck. And it almost seemed like they were being...careful. Like they were being overly cautious or trying not to be there, if that makes sense. They seemed to be trying to make it easier for the other to forget their presence. Weird as fuck.

They both had explaining to do. But if I knew them both, I knew they'd come to me when the time was right. And not a moment before. I just wished it was soon. Seeing them this way was breaking my fucking heart.

APOV-

I knew the others must be as curious as I was about Bella and Jazz. I also knew I'd get one hell of a scolding from Rose if I tried to ask questions. She hated it when I stuck my nose in other people's business. But I was worried! This wasn't supposed to happen. I saw Jazz and Bella happy together. I saw them being a perfect match. I'm rarely wrong about matters of the heart. So what was the problem? It was supposed to be a good day. But how could I be happy when Bella and Jasper were so sad? My cheerful mood was definitely out the window.

I was so deep in thought as I was attemting to leave the cafeteria, I nearly ran into the door without opening it. But a rather large hand grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the way before I could break my face on plate-glass. Whoever it was had serious Herculean strength! I turned, thinking it must have been Emmy, but it wasn't. It was James. He looked nervous, but he was smiling down at me tentatively. Maybe he wasn't going to be mean.

"Hi," he said. I had to remind myself what a jerk he'd been thus far, and not to melt into a pool of pathetic goo at his feet. I straightened up and faked nonchalance.

"Hello, James. Thanks for helping me out. If you'll excuse me, I'd hate to be late for class." I turned to leave, but he stopped me with a gentle touch on my arm.

"Wait," he said. "Don't... don't go yet."

"Oh, did you need something?" I asked. Now I was curious.

"No. No I didn't need anything, really. I just... Here." His arm jutted out at me. There was a folded piece of paper in his big hand. A note? James was giving me a note? My hand shook a little as I reached out and took it. I didn't want to get my hopes up. It was probably a trick. There was most likely something cruel written on the lined paper, and I'd have to hide my upset from the boys to save his sorry ass from a beating.

"What's this?" I asked. He shared a crooked smile with me, maybe the most attractive smile I'd ever seen, and chuckled.

"It's a backup. You know, in case I chickened out. Apparently I did," he explained. I was still confused.

"I don't get it," I admitted. James shrugged.

"Yeah, I know. Will you just read it? I promise it's not mean," he rushed out at the end.

"Ok. Sure," I said. He looked visibly relieved. A big smiled stretched across his face.

"Thanks. Uh... I gotta go." And he was gone.

Strange boy, I thought. I unfolded the paper, class be damned, and read the sweetest letter in existance.

***

Dear Alice,

I promised myself I wouldn't have to give this to you. I would've rather told you all this in person. But if you're reading my crappy chickenscratch right now, it means that when I looked at you today, I lost my ability to speak. You do that, you know. You steal the thoughts right outta my head. I can't even explain how that feels. How you make me feel. It's incredible. I love it and hate it at the same frustrating time. You make me feel alive, but scared to death too. I think that's how I know I need you.

I've been terrible to you since the moment we met. It's inexcusable. I don't expect you to forgive me. I wouldn't. All I can do is try to explain, and hope you find it in your heart to be stupid and show pity to a dumb asshole like me.

I like you Alice. God, I do. I don't even know you, but I'm completely enthralled in everything that makes you, well, YOU. I've memorized every feature of your face from across the room. I know you're laugh. I know what each one of your sighs mean. I know every hue of your eyes. And when I go to sleep at night, the last thing I see in my head is your smile. The one where you nose scrunches up. It's your happiest smile. That's my favorite.

Creepy, right? I know. I'm a fuckin freak. But I can't help it. I've never been a sappy bastard before in my life. I've never cared much for romance. I've dated a lot, but I've never actually cared. I've never met a girl that made me feel like this before. And it freaks me out. That's why I've been so awful to you. I was scared of you. I didn't want to trust my feelings. I wanted to run from anything that had the potential to run me over like a fifteen wheeler. You have that potential. So I ran from you. But I don't wanna run anymore, Alice.

That's a lie. I am running. But in the opposite direction. I'm running to you now, not from you. I'll get down on my knees and beg for forgiveness, if that's what you need from me. I'll do whatever it takes. But the choice is yours. Forgive me, hate me, slap me, date me. Take your pick and I'll accept it. Whichever you choose, I'm yours for the taking.

The ball is in your court now, sugar.

***

A/N-

Well?

I'm expecting plenty of reviews for this one, lol.