This is an UPDATE!
I know you guys have been waiting nearly a week for me to come back and I'm here with a chapter over 2000 words without the AN.
Begin I'll talk at the bottom.
- Written on my phone and I did some revising.-
Disclaimer: I don't own The Hunger Games.
Lost my heart and lost my soul.
Now it's the time that you won't know,
Lost my mind and lost my goal.
Mm, not giving in.
I'm not giving in,
Not giving in,
Ooh I'm not giving in, yeah.
"Not Giving In" By Rudimental
Chapter 12: Not Exactly Answers
I collect my folded up uniform from the old partially-rusted locker in the back room before clamping to the bathroom to change clothes and improve my appearance a little.
When I walk though the old wooden bathroom door I am pleased to find it's empty when my eyes scan around it's expanse. The walls of it are painted a dingy white and the floors are gray tiles along with the gray bathroom doors, the room is perfectly colorless and looks like somewhere you'd see a ghost in a horror movie.
Hastily glancing at the little white clock that hangs over the mirrors above the sinks I can assure I have eight minutes before work begins, it'll be enough time for me. Tonight will be the late night shift, starting out at nine and going well to four in the morning. It's the night I get paid most as it is most busy being the weekend.
Without another thought I go into an empty stall to get dressed. The faded blue dress falls over my small body with ease, all of the waitresses were given it to wear as a uniform. I nearly smirk at how it constitutes an illusion that I have breast and curves, which I know for a fact are not really there. Unlike any other women in this garment I feel uncouth and awkward, at a first look I know this dress was made for a women or a well developed girl but not me. Anyone but I would look elegant in that dress, I have about the appeal of a dead slug with my scruffy and frail appearance.
My tight knotted braid gets pulled out and put up into a tight bun that leaves a few strands of drab chocolate-colored hair around my face. After washing my hands I prepare myself to face what the night has to bring and walk out into the diner.
The first hour is on the slow side with only a few customers, however later on some begin to trickle through the door group by group. Nearly three hours later at Midnight is the worst everyone files their way to booths as the chatter picks up and the demand to getting orders improves. Although I hate when it fills up late at night because that is when the most rowdy people make an appearance, it's a good thing I can make more much needed money and the tips become more abundant.
After placing an order in the Kitchen I'm pointed to a booth at the end of the restaurant. Quickly I stroll to it and replace my scowl with a small smile.
But the smile drops and my lungs constrict at the sight in front of me.
No not her, anybody but her! My mind cries out in disbelief and shock.
But no matter how much I think insane I know deep-down that she's really right there before my eyes. She tugs the ends of her faded flaxen blonde hair with streaks of gray through it, her head remains tilted down slightly, her gaze is still focused on the menu she hasn't seen me yet, but I would recognize her anywhere.
There sitting alone in the booth in front of me is my mother.
Clearing my face and gaining my composure I look blankly to her and clear my throat.
Her gaze leaves the menu and focuses on me, it feels like her dull blue eyes are burning into my soul. My throat tightens against my will and it takes everything I have to force myself to remain still and not do something stupid like run.
I want to scream, I want to cry, I want to hit something, I want to give away everything in sight but most of all I want to blow up on the person who was once called my mother, I want to confront her for abandoning me, for hitting me, and for being the reason we lost our house. It would probably be the fastest way to loose my job though and what good could come of it, what's done is done there's no going back from who I am now and I have no mother, this is merely just a woman with no significance in my life sitting in front of me. Resigning from the thoughts of my head I gulp and try to release the pressure squeezing relentlessly at my throat and focus my eyes on the wall behind her.
"Welcome to Sae's what can I get for you today," I utter out failing to sound casual in the fashion that I've recited so many times, instead my voice comes out hoarse and stilted like I am about to fall into a myriad of pieces on the floor at any given instant.
Out of the corner of my eye I can tell she recognises me as well by the way her eyes narrow and her powder-white face creases ever so slightly.
I grip the pen in my right hand so hard I swear it's about to snap in half.
Stop it Katniss, keep your composure and remain impassive.
One of my hand twitch and I quickly hide it by straightening out the pale blue dress and clearing my throat.
"I would like the chicken basket, " she says as her eyes slide over the menu slowly.
"I'll be right back with that then," I mumble to the ground as my head clashes together forming a head ache and my heart beats irregularly.
I stumble to the kitchen nearly running, I can't help myself I just can't be near her, it's to much. But I don't have a choice, right now work is cutting back on people and I certainly know I'm in the danger zone of that. There isn't any room for mistakes I just can't let this get to me.
Tearing the page off the notepad I stick it to the the kitchen window, before hitting the bell and darting back to the dining room.
I do just about anything possible to ignore my mother, getting any other table I can and trying to keep distance.
Tonight we are short-handed and only have two waiters through the small diner, right now the other is busy and it leaves me to be the one who serves my mother, I knew this was coming but I'm dreading this moment.
Cautiously I grab the tray and drift towards her booth, my heart thuds erratically each beat vibrating through my body, each step is forced and cautious like I know a trap is ahead and I'm about to walk into it but I can't stop myself.
My feet stop and there in front of me sits my mother once again, I don't even look up or try to find her eyes, mine remain on my feet. My small grubby hand places it on the table, it takes everything I have not to just throw it and run out the front doors of the diner.
Immediately I stalk off and further into the dining hall it's only when I've made it three feet from her that I hear it singled out from all the other voices in the room.
"Katniss. "
I hesitantly turn around and see my mother looking to me, her gaze is piercing and burns, before me is the shell of someone who played a huge part in my life. Sometimes I remember who she was, she was my mother, the woman who tied my shoes and kissed my cheek before school, she used to cook me dinner and read me stories, she used to cut my hair and put it into neat coiffures everyday, I used to carelessly hop around the kitchen and sing with her. However I also have to remind myself not a trace of that woman is left, she is forever gone.
I crease my eyebrows puzzled of why she would even bother calling my name.
"What?"
"I'm sorry."
I frown and shake my head at her, "No you're not," I quickly shuffle off daring myself to not even look behind me, but I betray myself and glance, she's still looking at me. My eyes quickly dart away and focus on the double doors in front of me that lead to kitchen.
I need to be anywhere but here, I feel like my lungs are being crushed and I'm suffocating when I'm in the same room as her.
By the time I leave my eyes have already began drooping and I'm nothing less than exhausted from the night.
I amble along the cracked sidewalk, the sound of the scraping of my feet the loudest sound in my ears. I'm not to worried about gangs tonight they usually don't hang around this part of the seam besides Friday is when they are the worst, its Saturday now, correction it's been Sunday for a few hours now.
With bleary eyes I look up into the distant sky, for a lack of better words to describe the sky, I'd say the sky is beautiful, that's really something coming from me, after all I'm not really good with words. Above the sky looks nearly black but just a shade from it, tonight snow does not fall but instead it glitters on the ground. Above bright white stars shine against the black making them look like diamonds. A breeze blows and it's enough to make me shiver as it blows my loose hair I've took down from the bun to my back.
My entire body aches as I fall onto my branch, I nearly rip the new jackets out of the old rugged black bag. Immediately I bundle up into the jackets and curl up into the heavy blanket before I submit to my fatigue and my eyes shut. Before I can stop myself I've already fell into my slumber.
A four-note whistle coming from a bird is the first thing I hear, my eyes haven't opened but I already know it's one of those strange birds causing the sound.
Brightness pours in my vision once my eyes open. Out of instinct I immediately wipe the with my knuckles, the blurriness slowly fades, my surrounds are the same as always the tops of the tree over me that currently have no leaves.
Something feels off today and my stomach churns weirdly, I don't know why. It's like I can sense something about to happen. Maybe someone.
Without another thought my hands fumble with the rope knotted around my waist and I'm quickly freed from it, I shove all the coats and blanket into the black bag zipping it up only leaving one jacket out which I pull over my shoulders and slip my arms through.
I instantly hear the scratchy bird-like voice as soon as it speaks. Once again it calls my name.
"Katniss."
I narrow my eyes in the direction I heard it from but I can't see the bird.
Why am I even worrying about this stupid bird, that's enough of this.
But where could they have heard my name?
"Katniss, " the same one calls again repetitively.
Another one picks it up and calls out from another tree. "Katniss. "
The same odd four-note whistle is repeated by the first one.
I descend down the limbs of the oak quickly and look around taking in the surrounding trees filled with small dots of blue.
"Katniss."
My fingers find their way around the pebble next to my foot.
"Katniss."
I stand up and look at the tree running my fingers along the smooth surface of the pebble.
"Katniss, " a different bird squawks out.
Before I know it my arms poised back and the pebble is out of my grasp within half a second, it's aimed at the tree.
"Katn-"
One jumps away from the rock and hops into flight and the others-like dominoes, follow along.
"Katniss," they all say flying over my head now as they relocate in another tree.
They all quiet down with exception of the occasional 'Katniss' or the four-note whistle they continuously repeat.
I watch them slightly fascinated with the bird, they're odd but neat. But how do they know my name? That's the question the relentlessly claws at my mind.
"Katniss," someone says, this time before I even tell it's a person, they're voice isn't gruff like the birds.
That means I'm not the only one in these woods right now.
What did you think, did you think it'd be her mother she ran into?
Well Happy Thanksgiving I guess...
I saw Catching Fire, it wasn't in IMAX but it was awesome - like literally. It's perfect and I just found out they'll have the rooftop scene on the DVD! So it is PERFECTION!
Catching Fire is now my favorite movie!
In all Johanna was my favorite, the best scene in my opinion was the elevator one. I mean Peeta and Haymitch's faces, then Katniss is just rolling her eyes. Who was your favorite character and what was your favorite scene? (Finnick was nice too- Oh and Peeta.) :P
Well on a different note who do you think is in the woods with Katniss? What did you think of this Chapter? Was it good or bad?
HAYMITCH'S ADVICE IS: "Review."
