Emotional Rollercoaster

EPOV:

The game went by startlingly slow. I thought it was never going to end. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed watching my nephew and Jake play. They were probably the two best players on the team.

But what I really wanted to do was go back to Bella's so we could talk about what had happened today.

I knew it would be a little while until we got the chance to talk as adults, I was sure Jake would want to play when we got back to her house. Which was why I planned on taking them all for pizza after the game.

And if my sisters weren't annoying enough, chattering the entire time about the weirdest girlie things. It just drove me crazy. They talked about kids, make up, boys, and all the rest of the girlie stuff as if Jasper and I weren't sitting there.

I turned to my brother-in-law and rolled my eyes. "Doesn't this drive you nuts day in and day out?" I asked.

"You get used to it after awhile. Alice calls Rose every night and they talk about all the things they did in a 24 hour time span. Better get used to it Bro." Jasper replied.

"Tanya never had girl friends. All she had was guy friends."

"What happened with her anyway Edward? You never really talk about it."

"I don't talk about it because I don't like to rehash old news."

"Eddie boy, obviously you still have issues with it."

Jasper was always the sensible one, I knew I could talk to Jasper. "We weren't exactly the most conventional relationship. We didn't do things in the right order."

"And what do you mean by the right order?"

"We were what most might consider fuck buddies. We never were in a relationship, Im pretty sure she had a man on the side that she was officially dating while we were hooking up. One night I got really really drunk and called her up for a booty call. And forgot to put on a condom. Which is how my darling daughter got here. And don't get me wrong Jaz, I wouldn't take it back for the world. I love my daughter more than life itself."

"What happened after Tanya got pregnant?"

I hadn't talked to anyone about this since it happened, I left it alone when the topic was brought up. "She wanted to get rid of Emmalie. Said she didn't want to be carrying my bastard child."

"Edward that awful. No one should say anything like that. Damn man. Tanya must have been a bitch."

"Oh it gets worse from there Jasper. I paid her almost a million dollars, a huge chunk of my trust fund, to carry Emmalie to term. We stayed fuck buddies for the first 5 months so she was pregnant. Then she started to whine that she would never find a man being fat. So I did the right thing and decided to ask her to marry me. She denied me for another 2 months. She was 8 months pregnant when we got married by the JP."

"So you paid her a chunk of your trust fund from your grandpa and then she forced you into marrying her? When in the beginning she didn't want to carry your child? Just trying to keep my facts straight here."

"Your on the right track Jasper. But we got married, went through all the legal stuff. And after we got married she didn't change at all, she became even worse. I did everything. Worked full time at the hospital in the ER so my hours were so random. Then came home to do all the cleaning, wash, cooking, and taking care of Emmalie. She spent her time on the couch or at the bar getting drunk. Never paid attention to our daughter. One night she came home, to my little brownstone, with another man."

"She showed up to YOUR house, while your daughter was there. With another man? That is fucked up Eddie."

"Tell me about it. She told me that our marriage wasn't working, but she wanted to stay married so she could keep my last name because I was well known in Chicago. She wanted the social standing. And she said she wanted a fuck buddy on the side and asked for my permission. That was when I knew my marriage was over. And that it had been a sham the entire time. So I scooped up Emmalie, she was 6 months old, and we left for Forks."

"Damn Edward. That really sucks. Does anyone else know what she did to you?"

"Nope. I havent told my parents or anything. Thanks for the talk Jaz. I really needed to get that out." I said right as the game was ending. I was ready to get out of here and head back somewhere with Bella so we could talk.

"You should atleast talk to your parents. They wont judge you or anything Edward. You know that."

"I know. Im just not ready to share it with the world."

With that my little pixie-like sister interrupted out manly conversation. "Jazzy come on we have to go. Your mom wanted us there a half an hour ago." Alice replied, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Jazzy?" I asked with a smile.

"Shut the hell up Eddie. Aint nobody going to get away with calling me Jazzy other than my beautiful girl here." Jasper replied.

Alice tugged his arm impatiently and started hauling him off to the car, she could be one strong tiny person when she wanted too. "Bye Eddie! See you later man!" Jasper yelled over his shoulder.

"Bye Jazzy!" I yelled, laughing hysterically.

I wrangled my daughter out of Rosalie's arms just in time, Adam threw himself onto Rosalie's lap. Jake did the exact same thing to Bella, it was like they were twins or something. I chuckled and sat behind Bella, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"Hey Jake. You wanna go for pizza buddy?" I asked the little boy.

His smile was immediately 18 inches wide. "Yeah Edward! Lets go Mom! Edward is taking us out for pizza!" I yelled jumping up and down. He knew better than to pull his mom off the chair, Jake was smart enough to know she was hurting.

"Alright Jake chill out. Im coming. We'll go get pizza and then your getting a shower and going right to bed. You have school tomorrow." Bella said with a smile.

The two of them got up, said their goodbyes to my family and started our way up to the cars. Since we had two cars. I guess this is what a date would be like, taking both of our kids somewhere together. Maybe this is what a family is supposed to be like.


BPOV:

After the incredible emotional rollercoaster I had been on today I was exhausted. I really didn't want to go to the pizza parlor, but it made Jake and Edward happy. So I would try and force my poor eyelids to stay open.

We sat, the four of us, at a little booth where Jake and Edward practically swallowed an entire pizza. I had one piece and was more preoccupied with playing with Emmalie. I missed when Jake was that little, he couldn't get into any trouble when he was that young. Babies were just the cutest thing. It almost made me wish I had another baby, maybe Jake needed a brother or sister. But Edward and I weren't even thinking about that part of our relationship, we were still budding into what hopefully would blossom into something great.

After one and a half pizzas, those boys could eat, Jake was starting to get tired and my eyelids were starting to disobey me we decided to head back to my house.

It was obvious to me that Edward wanted to talk to me, and most likely about my reactions to today. I didn't really want to talk about it, rehashing it would only make me hurt worse. I could tell that he wasn't taking no for an answer.

Edward helped me give Jake a bath, a major step in our realtionship. Well it was more like Edward played with Jake while I tried to convince him to take a bath and get to bed. I didn't win that argument. It was the longest bath of Jake's life practically.

Edward and I had been dating casually for about 3 weeks now. And I had no idea what I wanted. Certainly I wanted to be with him. But I didn't know how serious I was ready to be.

It was a topic I knew I was going to bring up tonight when we had our inevitable talk. He helped me put Jake to bed. We went through 3 stories, one song, and then Jake finally decided to go to bed. Emmalie was asleep in her little pack and play that Edward brought to the house. It was just the two of us, completely alone. No kids to interuppt our conversation.

I moved to the kitchen, cracking open a bottle of water for me and a beer for Edward. He was close on my heels. When I turned and leaned against the counter he was standing there smiling at me. Smiling the beautifully crooked smile that melted my heart.

"Hey…" I whispered.

"Hey yourself." he said pulling me into a hug.

All it took was that one hug to make me dissolve into yet another fit of tears. I wasn't sure how many times I could cry in one day, there couldn't be too many tears left in my eyes to cry.

"Why are you crying Bella?"

"I don't even know anymore. I'm just an emotional wreck. And Im ruining your shirt."

"Don't worry about the shirt. Now tell me why your crying."

"Honestly Edward, I don't know. Last night I went to bed crying, scared of being alone even though I knew Mike isn't here to hurt me. And then today when I heard what Jessica said I cried. And now your being so nice to me when you don't have too. I don't know what to think!" I sobbed into his arms.

"Okay first things first. Why didn't you call me last night if you were upset?"

"Because you shouldn't have to deal with that kind of thing. You have your own problems to worry about. Between Emmalie and Tanya you have your own issues!"

"It doesn't matter Bella! Emmalie was asleep and Tanya isn't even a blimp on my radar. You arent burdeoning me with anything, I just want you to be okay."

"Will it make it better if I say next time Im upset I will call you?"

"Yes. Now. Onto Jessica. That's why I wanted to talk to you tonight. That quite obviously upset the hell out of you today. Talk to me about it, I want to listen."

"When I saw you talking to her in the parking lot a huge wave of jealously hit me. I don't know why, because its not like I have any claim to you or anything. But it just completely pissed me off that she was standing there talking to you. So that's when I stormed up to you."

"You have no claim over me? Bella seriously? You think I don't care? I care a lot. Hell I would probably even consider you my girlfriend."

"I'm your girlfriend?"

"Well if that's okay with you of course. That's kind of what I consider you. My girlfriend. After 3 weeks of taking you out I would totally consider you my girlfriend. You're the only girl Ive looked at in months, the only girl Ive only even been remotely interested in."

"Well then. I guess my dream from last night has been answered. I wanted to call you my boyfriend. But Im scared to get serious. I don't want to get hurt again."

"Ive got no plans of hurting you Bella. Ever. But we can take this as slow as you want. Set the pace. I don't want to get hurt either. We both came out of really shitty relationships, so we can take this slow. Extremely slow. Abnormally slow."

"Good. Now. Back to Jess. When I walked up behind you and heard the horrible things she was saying about me, my emotional state was already bad to begin with. Hearing those things just crushed my self esteem even farther. I wasn't mad at you, I was completely pissed off at her. And even more pissed off that I was letting her get to me and upset me. When she said that she had been with Mike longer than I had thought it killed me. When she said that Mike wanted to keep Jake and that I could have made my marriage work it killed me. When she said I would do the exact same thing to you it killed me." I said crying again.

"Bella. Baby..shhh. Its okay. Don't worry about her. When she talked about you and Mike and the relationship she had with Mike I know it was hard for you to hear. But Jessica Stanley is a complete bitch. She did it because she knew that you would hear and it would upset you Bella. She was trying to get under your skin and she succeeded."

"I know I shouldn't let that effect me! But I couldn't help it Edward. She rubbed it in my face that my 7 year relationship was a complete sham!"

"It hurts Bella, I know. But you cant let that affect you. Mike never wanted to keep your son and you know it. He never lifted a hand to help you take care of him. He always left it up to you, never made any time to just spend with Jake. There was no fixing your marriage when Mike himself wasn't helping fix it. Fixing a marriage goes 2 ways. And if only one of you was even putting an effort into your marriage it isn't worth fixing."

"I know your right. But it makes me feel like I failed. I could have tried harder to get to the bottom of the issues. I shouldn't have taken his son from him."

"Bella he signed those papers willingly. There was no convincing on your part. He opted out of taking care of his son. He signed those papers, knowing full well what he was doing. Tanya did the exact same thing, I didn't bully her into signing the papers and neither did you."

"Your right Edward. About all of this."

"And I know that you wouldn't do this to me. Our relationship isn't even close to being as serious as your marriage to Mike was. Marriage and children are so so so far off in our future its ridiculous. But I know that our relationship is different from the one you had with Mike. I wont disrespect you the way Mike did, and I will fight for our relationship to work. I can promise you that." Edward said with a smile, sealing it with a soft kiss on my forehead.

I smiled up at him. "Thank you. For talking all of this into my head. You're the best. Ive never been friends with anyone like you or your family."

"I have to go. Emmalie is tired. But I will see you tomorrow after Im done working. Ill come over then. I promise. Bye girlfriend." he said, leaning down to kiss me.

I kissed him back with a smile. "Bye boyfriend." I said, shutting the door behind him. I was finally alone. And I felt better than ever before. My emotional rollercoaster was coming to an end. My self esteem was higher, I had the beginnings of a great relationship with a great guy. My boyfriend. I never thought I would have a boyfriend again, but here I was. Dating a guy I could see loving eventually. Eventually.


A/N: I hope everyone had a happy New Year! My resolution is to try and update this more often on e a a regular schedule! You guys are the best, I had a lot of reviews/story alerts for the last chapter. And I would loveeeeeee to get more for this chapter! You're the best readers ever, I appreciate every single one of your reviews. I read them and they bring a smile to my face. You guys are the best. Don't ever forget it! Keep reviewing, I love to hear your ideas/like/dislikes!