A/N: Sorry guys. I planned on getting this out two weeks earlier, but I dropped (and broke) my other computer with original copy and my niece thought it would be funny to delete files off my jump drive (I'm going to kill the brat later). So I had to rewrite this a couple times…
Resha04: Yes, it's sad that Feli has become so corrupted even though he and his brother share the same mother or has he always been this way? I'm going to let you be the judge of that because I don't want reveal too much right now.
Endlessly Unraveling
The trio sat in silence as the blank TV screen stared back at them. Antonio glanced at Lovino and the sight of him tugged roughly at the Spaniard's heartstrings. He sat in a pure state of shock; his mouth was slightly ajar and his hands twitched and trembled as he tried to hold them still in his lap. But his eyes- his eyes was the worst of part of them all. They were mixed up with so many emotions all into one in eyes that already held so much melancholy. Antonio reached over to give to him some comfort, but recoiled when he saw him flinch and shift away from him.
Lovino hung his head in shame. He didn't dare look up at him and shut his eyes tightly instead. The pain was suffocating him, bearing down on him like the weight of the world. Here, was Antonio trying to reach out to him and all he could was be a damn, pitiful coward. A coward that could not even bare to ask for help. With a heavy heart, the Italian rose from his spot and began to slowly walk upstairs.
"Lovi?" Antonio asked, concerned. The tension in the air was thick and there was an uneasy feeling that washed over him. He watched as Lovino paused and tightly grip the railing. The Spaniard felt like he just took a knife straight through heart as Lovino glanced back at him with the most pained, disheartening expression anyone could ever wear before rushing up the rest of the stairs.
Antonio stood with full intent to follow him, but was roughly pulled back to the couch. He stared at Cara with in bewilderment and tried to free himself from her. "Cara?" Her response was only was squeezing him even tighter. After a minute or two she released him, now very sure that he wasn't going anyway.
Her voice was barely over a whisper. "Fratello's hurt. He's hurting." She paused trying to think of what to say next. She then shakes her head lightly and switches. "Ese video probablemente trajo malos recuerdos para él. (That video probably brought up some bad memories for him.)"
The two looked up when they heard loud noise come room upstairs followed by a curse. She sadly sighs and then said, "Es mejor si lo dejamos solo por un poco de tiempo. (It's best if we leave him alone for a little a while.)"
"Ya veo. (I see.)" Lovi… Antonio looks over and sees that Cara was wearing the same solemn expression he was. Putting on a smile, he ruffles her hair and says, "(You know, you're really smart for your age)." She looks at him curious as he continues. "Sonrisa. Alguien tiene que extender un poco de felicidad cuando los tiempos son sombríos. (Smile. Someone has to spread a little happiness when times are grim.)"
"Supongo que tienes razón. (I guess you're right)," she says as a small grin begins to creep up on her.
The Spaniard then playfully stated, "Mira, tú estás sonriendo. (See, you're smiling.)"
Cara couldn't help but giggle at him. Her Tio was so strange to her, but then not so strange at all. Even when times were at there worst he still was able smile and laugh. It was like Antonio over flowed with optimism and positivity. And with that smile that could light fútbol field, it made all the negativity falter.
Rising from his spot on the couch, the Spaniard turned and said, "Muy bien, vamos. (Alright, let's go.)"
Cara questioned, "(Where and why)" It's not like she didn't trust him, but she was just a bit wary of what would happen next.
"Sólo vamos a la ciudad para un poco para conocer a la gente que va a quedarse con, por lo que Lovino no tendrá que explicar acerca de usted y su padre. Ellos eran amigos de su madre. (We're just going into town for a little bit to meet the people you'll be staying with, so Lovino won't have to explain about you and your father. They were friends of your mother.)"
Hearing the thought of her mother erased most of the doubt of in her mind. "Bien, sólo déjame ir al baño primero. (Okay, just let me go to the bathroom first.)"
"¿Sabe usted dónde está? (Do you know where it is?)
Cara just merely waved him off and said, "Sí, sólo será un minuto. (Yeah, I'll just be a minute.)"She quickly ascended up the stairs towards the bathroom because for some odd reason there wasn't one downstairs.
Sighing, Antonio leaned against the front door. He closed his eyes and let his thoughts consume him. Lovi, I wish you didn't have go through so much. I want to see you smile, laugh and not have hold back the pain. His expression hardens as his hands ball up into tight fists. I swear to god if they do anything to hurt them, they'll be hell to pay.
Antonio immediately perks up when he sees Cara walking towards him. He asks, "¿Estás listo, Carita? (You, ready, Carita?)"
Nodding, she watches as he opens the door and begins to head out. Something about the nickname he gave reminded her of her father and made her feel closer to him like they were like family. Closing the door behind her, Cara strolls along side with Antonio and tries the shake the uncertainty that still lingered in the back of her mind.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Lovino's fist connected with the wall again as he hears the front door slam shut. He let a cry of frustration and bangs his fists against the wall a few more times. Finally, the Italian pulls his hands back to observe the damage. His knuckles were split open and blood ran down from the open cuts. But honestly he really didn't give a damn. Sure he hissed since it stung pretty badly, but that was nothing compared to how he really felt.
He sank down on his bed, taking large breaths of air. "Shit," Lovino says. "Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit." He throws his head back and stares up at the ceiling. "I guess he was right. Life is really fucked up."
Lovino then feels his phone buzzing in his pocket. He contemplates on whether he should answer it or, but probably just Antonio calling to tell him where he and Cara went.
Putting the phone next to his ear, Lovino states rather harshly, "What do you want now, tomato bastard?"
"Perchéciao, fratellone, è così bellodi parlare con voiin questo momento. (Why hello, big brother, it's so nice to speaking with you right now.)"
His blood ran cold. The Italian's eyes narrow into slits as he says coldly, "Non avete il diritto di chiamarmi così. Chi ti ha dato questo numero? (You have no right to call me that. Who gave you this number?)"
Feliciano pouted, feigning disappointment. "Ora è davvero in ogni caso di parlare con il tuo fratellino. Dopo tutto quello che ho fatto per te e tu sei ancora ingrato. (Now is that really anyway to speak to your little brother. After all I've done for you and you're still ungrateful.)" He even added one his sad 'Ve's~' to the end of his sentence.
"Rispondimi, dannazione! (Answer me, damn it!)"
Instead, he complete disregards the statement and says, "Come sta il vostro soggiorno con la Carriedo è stato? Antonio è stato ti tratta bene? E dolce, poco Cara-lei è lì, no? (How's your stay with the Carriedo's been? Antonio's been treating you well? And sweet, little Cara- she's there too, no?)"
Lovino could practically feel him smirking through the phone. "Giuro che se avete fatto nulla per far loro del male io ... (I swear if you did anything to hurt them I'll...)"
"Tu cosa? (You'll what?)" Feliciano retorts. "Minacciare me? Tu e sappiamo entrambi che appartiene diritto alla Vargas '. Inoltre, ho qualcuno che ha appena stato morendo dalla voglia di parlare con te. (Threaten me? You and both know that right belongs to the Vargas'. Besides, I have someone who's just been dying to talk to you.)"
Lovino listens closely as he hears footsteps and squeak of heavy door. He then hears Feliciano say something along the lines of "Come on, cheer up. I have a treat for you." All is silent until he hears another voice.
"Lovino."
The Italian gripped the cell phone so tightly he feared it might break. "Papà? Papa ', sei proprio tu? (Dad? Dad, is that you?)" Dear god, don't be him. Please don't be him.
"Lovino, mi dispiace tanto. (Lovino, I'm so sorry.)"
The Vargas teen pulled the phone away from him. "Questo è abbastanza fuori di voi, Innocenzio. (That's enough out of you, Innocenzio.)"
"Che cosa hai fatto?! (What did you do to him?!)" he demanded, seething with anger.
A devilish grin made its way Feli features. His brother's reactions were just goddamn so predictable. Sending him a haughty laugh, he chuckled darkly, "Oh, niente male. Solo un po 'di divertimento in quanto si merita molto peggio. (Oh, nothing too bad. Just a little fun since he deserves much worse.)"
"Motherfucker! I'll kill you! I'll fucking kill you!"
There was a rare sense of irritation as Feliciano continued. "Divertente, come quella frase è stato gettato su di me così tanto ultimamente. In primo luogo il padre e ora. Beh, fratellone, dal momento che non ci sei tu che dovrà soffrire, invece. (Funny, how that phrase has been thrown at me so much lately. First your father and now you. Well, big brother, since you're not here he'll have to suffer instead.)"
Lovino immediately went into panic when he hears Innocenzio wincing in the background. "No! Si prega di non farlo! (No! Please don't!)" he pleaded desperately.
Feliciano had roughly pulled the poor man's head back by his hair and had his knife resting on the bridge of his nose, ready to carve up some skin. He had already marred his body with scars and burns and carving off some skin would only add more to his sick pleasure. With the phone wedged between his neck and shoulder, he questioned, "E perché dovrei ascoltarti? (And why should I listen to you?)"
The Italian says slowly, "Che cosa vuoi? (What do you want?)"
"Quindi stai finalmente ascoltare la voce della ragione, fratellone. (So you're finally listening to the voice of reason, big brother.)"
"Dillo a me! (Tell me!)"
Feliciano's attitude does a complete 360 as his tone changes and he switches languages. "What we simply want is you, big brother. A simple trade, you see. Your sad, little life for his pathetic one. In your mailbox you find a plane ticket to Italy leaving for midnight tonight. You will also find a cell phone in there too. When you arrive in Italy you contact the number known as Sergio. He will pick you up from the airport and take you to a hotel where you will spend the night until Papa and I pick you up the next day. If you refuse I will kill Innocenzio and make sure Cara, Antonio, the Carriedo's and everyone else you've ever come in contact dies a slow, painful death. Do we have an agreement, big brother?"
He caved. "Alright. I'll do it. Just don't hurt anyone else."
Finally, he left him with one last message that shook Lovino down to his very core.
"I want you see you painted in the crimson blood that runs through your veins and holds so much pure hatred for me and the family."
XXXXXXXXXXXX
Antonio entered the house at around six o'clock. He raised a curious eyebrow on how eerily quiet the house. The Spaniard expected to at least hear his tomatito shuffling around upstairs, but all he got was silence. He quickly bounded up the stairs and down the hall in the direction of Lovino.
Knocking on the door, he asks concerned, "Lovi?" And again all he got was silence. "Lovi, I'm coming in."
He opened the door to see Lovino sitting bed with his knees perched up to his chest. His back was against the wall and stared in the direction of Antonio. Except he wasn't exactly looking at him- more like through him.
Antonio took a seat next to him as the Italian asked, "Where are the others?"
"They're still out."
"And Cara?"
He answered, "She's with them. I told them Tia and Reli about her being your sister so that you wouldn't have to deal it." Lovino merely responded with the flicker of his eyes in his direction. "Lovi, you know I just want to help you."
Lovino whispered, "I know."
"Then why won't you let me?" the Spaniard questioned.
The Italian states, "I can't." Turning away from him, he shuts his eyes as his voice drops down to a low, shaky, whisper. "Damn it, I just… can't." If he knows the truth he won't let me go. He'll hate me. He'll die.
"Lovi."
Stop. He felt his heart…
"Lovino."
Stop talking like that. …cracking into a million pieces.
"Let me in. Lovino please," Antonio pleaded desperately.
The Italian hugged himself tightly, trying to shut him out. Stop! I can't stand to hear you talk like. Not now. Not ever. It hurts. It fucking hurts…
His quaking form immediately stiffened when he felt Antonio embrace him from behind. The Spaniard buried his face into his shoulder. Lovino tried and put up a weak effort to get away from him, but that only made him tighten his hold on him. Antonio murmured, "I'm not leaving. I love you and I want to help you. And right now I can see that you're not alright.
The Italian merely shook his head in utter defiance. He didn't want to hear it. He knew that he did not deserve those sweet, gentle words that came out of his mouth. Instead, they were only suffocating him. Every single of them made the guilt inside grow even more. It was weighing Lovino down and eating him alive.
However, the Spaniard thought differently of his actions. He could see fear flash through his eyes and pure agony written across his face. Suddenly, Antonio's lips swept up to his cheek. He then breathed against him, "Then why are you crying, Lovi?"
The Italian hadn't even noticed. "I-I-" He stammered, a few more stray tears falling from his eyes and cascading down his cheeks. His shoulders slumped over, shaking.
Antonio lightly shushed and pulled him up on to his lap. He hummed a soft tune, letting his voice invade the quiet night air. He stopped when he felt Lovino relax in his arms. The Spaniard placed a soft kiss on the side his head. "You can't keep doing this to yourself." Antonio glances down at his bruised knuckles. "You can't keep hurting yourself, Lovino."
Giving him a small nod, Lovino then turned his head to face him. He instantly caught in the Spaniard smoldering, green eyed gaze. He felt himself falling into those big, loving pools of his.The Italian pressed his forehead against Antonio's. His heart leapt as he felt the Spaniard seal their lips with a kiss.
You're just so intoxicating.
Antonio's lips soon left his mouth, traveling down to his neck. He sucked and nibbled on the soft, sensitive flesh, earning a low moan from the Italian. His hands wandered onto his chest and popped opened the stubborn buttons. The Spaniard captured Lovino lips again.
So kind.
Their kiss deepen, both falling into their own throws of passion. Lovino gasped when he felt Antonio roll one of his perky nipples between his fingers. The Spaniard took this opportunity to invade his mouth. His tongue circled around his hot little cavern, trying to taste every part of the Italian.
"Nngh! Antonio…"
Both tongues fought for dominance, but in the end Antonio came out on top. Lovino eyes closed and let the chills that ran through his body as the Spaniard sucked on his tongue. He heard the rustle of clothes, but was too caught up to pay attention to it. Lovino let out a small whine when he broke the kiss, but soon blushed when saw that both of them were stripped of all their clothing.
So gentle.
"Beautiful," Antonio said as he gazed upon his lover's body. He loved every part of it from the way the Italian's blush would creep down to his neck to every little green fleck in his eyes. Yes, it was flawed with scars and bruises, but it was still a wonder sight for him to see.
Embarrassed, Lovino looked away from him. "S-Shut up, you bastard." He lightly scowled at his words, but he knew that they were sincere.
"It's the truth, Lovi," he stated as he trailed kisses down his body. He didn't want to leave an inch of skin untouched. He came face to face with the Italian's weeping cock. Antonio breathed his hot breath on it and watched as he shuddered in pure delight. He gave it an experimental lick before taking him whole.
Lovino gripped his chocolate locks. He thrusted his hips and moaned loudly, "Aah! A-Antonio!" His moans of pleasure only got louder as the Spaniard sucked with mercy. Lovino's wanton moans made Antonio grow hard himself. His tongue ran up and down the shaft, lapping up the bitter yet tangy taste of the Italian's pre-cum.
And as much as it hurts.
Moving back from his still stiff erection, Antonio began to coat his fingers with lube. He positioned his near Lovino's entrance, waiting for his approval. He nodded and let out a hiss as the Spaniard's finger pushed past his tight ring muscle.
"Relax, Lovi," He whispered into the other's ear. Enter a second finger, Antonio began to stretch and scissor him. He noticed that Lovino's body trembled and hips started to lightly rock against his fingers, but he really wanted him in a total state of bliss. His fingers went deep into the Italian, searching for that one spot that'd make him scream.
As much as it fucking kills me.
Lovino's back arched upwards in ecstasy. "T-There! More!" He'd found it. Antonio pushed his fingers along that same spot and watched as his body trembled in delight. He did it a few more times to hear his sweat moans that were like music to his ears. The Spaniard pulled his fingers out of him since he didn't want his little Italian coming too quickly.
Positioning his harden length at his entrance, Antonio asked, "Are you sure you want this?"
"Yes, I want all you. Everything. I want to give you something I wouldn't give anyone else." And with that, Lovino wrapped his arms around his neck. He brought the Spaniard down into a kiss as he slowly thrusted into him. The Italian's hands clawed at his back. He felt so full. There was the definite pain, but the pleasure soon made it all subside.
As much as I hate myself for what I'm going to do.
"Dios mio, you're tight." The Spaniard slowly began to thrust his hips, getting Lovino adjusted to him. His hand wandered up to the Italian's hair. He took that devilish little curl and twisted it around his finger. Antonio saw that his panting increased, becoming rougher with each passing moment and took this opportunity to thrust just a little faster.
"AH!" the heated Italian moaned extra loud. The Spaniard hit his prostate again and again and again feeling him tighten around his shaft. Antonio knew he was close. Hell, they were both close. "Te amo, mi tomatito."
"Te amo," Lovino said. He began to repeat that same thing like a mantra. "Te amo. Te amo. Te amo. Ti amo cosi tanto."
That was he needed to hear. Antonio thrusted roughly a few more times before Lovino came and their chests and he filled him up with his seed. After pulling out, they both laid in the after glow of sex. The Spaniard wrapped his arms around him as he began to drift off to sleep.
"Buenos noches, Lovi."
I can't help but love you.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
Quietly walking down the stairs, Lovino kept looking back to see if anyone had woken up. The time was 10:30 and he had an hour and a half to board a plane that would lead to his untimely demise. He slightly passed the sleeping, teenage Asian that resided on the couch and made it to the front door. Opening it, Lovino took one last look at the house and said, "Arrivederci a tutti."
A/N: This is probably my longest chapter yet. Ah, the emotion turmoil, the sex… Please don't hate me- it was my first lemon! Anyway as you could see and make an inference, Lovi was in fact a virgin. Also happy belated Halloween!
