these are flashback scenes. assume that Percy told most of the story except for the parts that i mentioned that he most definitely didn't.

there is two particular plotlines i might take this story to, but it might not be a good idea... i already have two ideas in my head that use that specific plotline. again, it's not something necessarily in the summary. i had this fanfiction in a very specific direction but something inside of me is telling me to take it into a completely different route... a very dangerous, slippery Percy angst rope.

the first one is going to change so much of this fanfiction. the second one is even worse. the first one i am really tentative about because as i mentioned, i already have two fanfiction ideas that hinge on it. the second one i'd probably only ever do in this fanfiction because of the very unique circumstances...

comment replies:

Guest: i mostly wanted to update as fast as possible because i wanted to say that i do agree that Percy is an unjustly mistreated character. the reason why most of the writing is so self-destructive and self-loathing and accusatory is because most of it is in Percy's point of view. so most of what you're reading are his own thoughts about himself. i reread my own writing and it does come across as me mocking him. it is not me as 'the writer' but rather Percy mocking himself because of how lowly he views himself after long years of fighting / bad interactions with people (he repeatedly calls himself a prat / a git because people call him that etc). he has such low self-esteem in the fanfiction as a whole and consistently doubts himself as a father/son/person in general. right now, he is starting to doubt whether or not he should be fighting with his parents in the first place. he is basically so sick of the fighting and his current situation that he is willing to make a fool of himself/his beliefs even if he is right because he wants to stop the fighting for the sake of his daughters. because he is afraid he's kept them secluded (as how Daphne had told him in the beginning). he is a single parent that is literally chronically sleep deprived and overworked. basically, everyone around him has made him feel guilty enough that he's starting to believe that he was wrong all along. this doesn't mean that it's what i believe should be happening, and it will be addressed later on that he is being seriously mistreated. i mention in the flashbacks that you will see that he has been very depressed for a long period of time and Penelope made a mockery of it, so he just sucks it up and tries to forget about how he feels. he is a very anxious person in this fanfiction, and repeatedly panics / has panic attacks where it is pretty obvious he blames himself / hates himself / believes that he's wrong. because very few people in this fanfiction are actually on his side and everyone is quick to judge his actions, e.g. Daphne and Penelope laughing about his idea about 'testing the equipment' but not offering solutions especially when they know that he is overworked and hasn't been sleeping very well, which he also points out a few times. i also do believe that everything he's said about his father / Harry and Dumbledore were true. i hope that this makes more sense! i'm sorry it's not very well explained sometimes as i do rely on subtlety to explain some things, e.g. the fact that he's very sarcastic and cynical, etc. Percy does forgive a lot of people in this fanfiction, e.g. Penelope in the flashback sequence even if she doesn't deserve it.

Phoenix Rising: "Ugh! I wanted to read that conversation! Good grief, Percy sure can beat himself up." technically, the flashbacks are kind of what he says. except 'for the stuff he excluded'.


The Devil Wears Second-Hand Robes

Chapter Ten: Baby Blues… and Pinks: Part 3


Things that Percy had excluded when retelling this part of the story: his almost alcoholism, his row with Penny, his awful self-esteem and his undiagnosed depression (that he could not get diagnosed because he was very busy).


Percy did not like May as a month. May… May… May I fuck you over in the arse? At the time, he did not believe that there was a war, so he wouldn't have been able to anticipate that May was also the month that the war would end.

At the time, May was the month where his whole life dissolved and faded away into obscurity, not unlike moonstone in a cauldron. Unfortunately, Neville was the one brewing the pot, because everything blew up in his face! His promotion, the fight that he had with Arthur and this month's disappointing issue of The Practical Potioneer!

When he stormed out of the Burrow, Percy wondered if he should decline Fudge's job offer. He had twelve O.W.L's! What a pity it was that had the personality of a flobberworm. Why would anyone else hire him?

On the first night in his new flat, he felt sad that he didn't have any mates to bring him flat-warming gifts.

He had never been invited to parties in Hogwarts. Penelope was the only one that invited him to Quidditch games.

Most people assumed that he wasn't interested. He rarely went to Hogsmeade. Percy never had anyone to go with him, and he only went when he needed supplies. Everyone at Crouch's department despised him. He'd never been invited to the coffee room with them, and whenever he passed by, he could hear them laughing at him.

Who does HE think he is? Percy could recall hearing some of his colleagues say. Crouch doesn't even know his NAME!

Whenever he tried to fall asleep, all he could hear was the twins laughing at him: reckon he'd know your name now, Perce?

Percy wished he could feel happy about his promotion or his flat. He wished that he'd felt as confident about how right he was when he was having that spiff with his father. Instead, Percy felt like something inside of him had just been ripped out and tossed in the Burrow. He was too much of a coward to go back home and retrieve it. So, now, he tried to make do without that-that thing. But how could he make do with a large, gaping hole inside of him?

The painful truth was his father's name didn't ruin his chances in the Ministry. He was not struggling because of his father's reputation. His father was eccentric, but people knew him as nice. People liked Arthur Weasley. Some even adored him! He would do favours for them without asking for pay, even though he desperately needed it. He would help them with their personal issues. He had people to talk to during their coffee breaks. Percy was a disappointment to everyone else. Because he could write as many reports as he wanted, and he could have as many shiny badges, but nobody would ever like him. That reality that stripped of all his accomplishments, nobody found him likable.

Look at him now! He didn't have a family. His only friend was Penelope. He drove everyone else away… all his fault!

Two weeks after he moved into his flat, Penelope Clearwater visited him. She owled him three days earlier, and he found himself almost excited for the visit. He'd made his mum's favourite chocolate-chip pumpkin bread. It did not rectify the fact that he'd slammed the door into his mum's face when she came to visit him three days earlier.

When he opened the door, he was gobsmacked. Percy knew that they were called shorts, but this was just ridiculous! He could practically see where she was on her ovulation cycle in those bleeding clothes (pun unintended).

She asked him how he was. "I'm not fine," Percy replied, and that was the understatement of the year.

He hoped that he would have Penelope's support. Or that she'd at least put on the bathrobe he offered to her!

"Why are YOU not fine?" Penelope asked. Percy was sat in the same black trousers for days. He looked like he got his styling tips from Bill. The only time he went to answer the door was to ward off anyone that might still like him. He sent the most pretentious owls to his family in hopes they'd leave him alone to die. "YOU left THEM!"

Percy just stared at her vacantly. His whole world was crumbling before his eyes. He hadn't turned up to work yet and told the Minister he'd rather work from his flat. Here, nobody cared if he was drinking firewhiskey at eight.

"NO! They let me leave," Percy was tired. He shouldn't be because he slept ten hours a day. "I'm alone all the time."

Percy had five brothers and a sister! He didn't know how to be alone. He thought it was going to be nice, but he felt like he could die in his flat and nobody would care. Even in Hogwarts sharing a dormitory with Oliver Wood, he was never alone because he had half the castle in the room at any point in time.

At least his flat was spotless. Yesterday, he threw a tin of sugar on the floor just so he'd have something to clean up.

"Suck it up," Penelope hissed coldly at him. Percy's body sagged against the doorframe. "There are people there that have it worse than you, and THEY haven't completely shut down and given up on their life! There are innocent Azkaban prisoners that have to relive their saddest, most despondent memories every day and they haven't gone insane! Yet here you are, sat brewing in your own prolonged pity party because YOU decided to leave your family!"

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Percy asked bitterly.

"I don't want you to feel better!" Penelope yelled. "Do you know why no one's on your side? Because you're that wrong!"

Percy wanted to slam the door into her face, but that would be rude. Yes, it didn't stop him from doing it to his mother, which he hated himself for. At the same time, he was sure if the opportunity arose, he'd probably do it again.

"Your parents are the sweetest people in the whole world!" Penelope told him. "I can't believe that you'd do something like this to them. I only met your parents once last year, and your mum sent a present for my birthday! YOU haven't even done that for me! Your father came to St Mungo's to give it to ME instead of just sending it by post! He also told me all those awful things that you-you told him! And your mum…! How could you do that to THEM?"

Pardon him! SHE broke up with him and she wanted a gift? His parents didn't even know that their relationship ended!

He was about to slam the door to her face. Instead, she pushed past him right into his flat. How bloody rude.

Percy's flat was immaculate as always—not because he kept up with it, but it was because all he had to do was laundry. He didn't buy much in groceries. There was a pile of paperwork on his desk that he could barely look at without remembering the row with his father. There was that couch that he cried in every night.

Penelope picked up his papers, and then started tearing the parchment into pieces. "I… can't… believe… you!"

"I can't believe YOU!" Percy yelled from the doorway. "I'm calling the bloody Aurors if you don't get out… NOW!"

And to think he sat by HER bedside when she was petrified! When she cried about that, he didn't tell her to suck it up.

Merlin, she wasn't even conscious for it, and she still moaned on about it. Oh, and when SHE broke up with him, she told him she took the week off from work to cry in her bedroom! Yet SHE… BROKE UP WITH HIM!

Now, thinking back on it, Percy did not know why people around him had this irretractable need to throw his workload in the rubbish bin, or start destroying the reports that took him ages to write. It was a big, generous fuck you to his face. Did you know how many hours he spent doing that? How would SHE like it if he walked into her flat and tore up her patient's notes? Well, he could try but either way, he most definitely wouldn't get very far, because he'd be thrown in the Wizengamot for a trial within the hour. He'd be in Azkaban by the morning. Then he could be justified in his melancholy because he'd be an innocent Azkaban prisoner reliving his saddest, most despondent memories! All Penelope would get was a bloke trying to calm her down, and then escort her safely home! The double-standard!

Oh, great. Now that she was done destroying his work, she started crying. And HE was the one that had to suck it up?

"I'm sorry," Penelope said, leaning back against his couch. She just clawed through his work, and she made a troll look coordinated. Crying? In his flat? After she DEMOLISHED HIS WORK? "Well, I'm not really sorry but…"

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Percy snapped coldly. He was already exhausted.

Penelope jumped up from her couch. He didn't feel sorry for her… or her suffocating thighs in those teeny-tiny shorts!

"I actually came to talk to you about Audrey," Penelope's voice was soft now. Really? Then why in Merlin's name was she tearing his reports down after telling him off for leaving his family? Dear Merlin, she was unhinged. Did he really date her? "But I am concerned about you." THAT was concern? Even Snape would've been more considerate.

"Did you?" Percy mumbled. His heart ached, thinking about Audrey… the gardenia girl he might have accidentally deflowered and hurt. "Concerned about me? I was under the impression you came to facilitate my suicide!"

"Don't say that," Penelope said. "That's a very serious thing!" Percy rolled his eyes. He was actually considering it. What did he have in his life now? He had nothing. If he went home, they would never ever treat him the same again.

"I can say whatever I fancy. This is my flat," Percy bitterly replied. "No, get on with it!"

"When did you turn so cynical?" the more Penelope talked, the more Percy wanted to drink. "Percy."

What did she mean when did he turn cynical? He'd always been cynical but these days, he could barely contain it! This was his bloody girlfriend of two and a half years… she should've known how he was like! Percy just rolled his eyes.

"Is there something seriously wrong with you?" now, Penelope looked concerned. Wonderful. He felt so loved.

Percy was sure that his heart had a big hole in it, that only a gigantic, anatomically-correct doughnut hole could fill. Well, in theory. In practice, he was not very doughy, and he could not have nuts because he was allergic to them.

"Nothing that I can't deal with," Percy said coldly. He walked towards his kitchen counter to sip his cold coffee—which he spiked with whatever that purple thing he bought was. He felt a warmth travel up his spine. It was disgusting. "Given as there are innocent people in Azkaban that are living their saddest, most despondent memories!"

His stomach growled at him. Percy ignored it. He barely ate, solely because he didn't want to deal with the dishes.

"We can talk about this," Penelope inched forward to him. Why would he want to talk to her? Just a second ago, she told him off for daring to treat his parents poorly. "Merlin, what are you drinking?"

"What does it matter what I'm having?" Percy opened the door, staring at her with steely eyes. "Get OUT of my flat!"

Penelope stiffened slightly but then relaxed. Percy wished he actually did alert the Aurors. Though when they'd escort her out, they would probably talk about how much of a prat he was for laughs. Why not? Everyone else did it. His family was particularly good at it. They called him a prat more than they did his actual name.

"No," she tucked a hair behind her ear. "I am not leaving this flat, Percy. Alright? I'm not leaving this flat."

Percy's hand loosened on his door. He couldn't even kick Penelope out of his own flat! Did nobody respect his wishes?

Well, of course not, because he was a prat and he was always wrong. He knew for a fact that if he went back home, he was wrong. If he stayed here, he was wrong. Percy just wished that he'd sucked up his bloody pride two weeks ago and never left the Burrow! Because this had been the worst decision he'd made in his life. What if Harry was right and there really was a war? What then? He couldn't… couldn't-couldn't just go back home! But his father wouldn't let him leave, if he really thought there was a war? It wouldn't be safe! He couldn't hate him that much.

But what if he did? What if he'd mucked up their relationship that much just by that one row?

Percy's head was spinning, and he felt like collapsing in his bed. It wasn't even eleven o'clock yet!

Just… just LOOK at him! He was so bloody pathetic. He didn't even want to go to the Ministry because his co-workers absolutely hated him. He didn't want to kiss anyone's arse anymore or see people. He didn't want to deal with his own contempt for Harry bloody Potter, the missing Weasley that Percy never knew Ron and Ginny wanted so much!

"I want to talk about Audrey," Penelope said. Remember her? Percy's heart raced. You disappointed her too!

"What did you want to say? About Audrey?" Percy couldn't believe it. He was supposed to come back and ask her how she went on! The last he saw her, she was sobbing away in her flat all alone! Merlin strike him with lightning.

"Well…" as Penelope spoke, Percy wondered how he ever even liked her. "She contacted me a day ago."

Percy did not know anything about Audrey, but this could just be another conversation about the weather. Or the fact that he was a gigantic pig that dared to break her heart after he slept with her. Either could be plausible.

"What… what about?" Percy said weakly. "I suppose she told you that I wanted nothing to do with her…?"

"Yes, she did," Penelope continued, her voice softer than Molly's homemade Victoria sponge. "Whenever I called her to meet up, she always said that she was so busy. But recently, I can tell that she wasn't… wasn't doing well so I decided to pop around anyway. So, you can imagine my surprise when I saw her, she was…! REALLY!"

Percy's heart was doing weird twists that would most probably land him in the infirmary. He had an O in Divination. He knew, deep down, that whatever Penelope was about to say would make this situation worse. He knew!

"THEN she told me that-that—she didn't have to tell me. You'd have to be blind not to know but…" Penelope ran her hand through her hair. "That she's pregnant! Like VERY pregnant! But she-she doesn't want to bother you! And there is a chance that that night that you and her—well, it dates back perfectly to when she started feeling ill! She said she thinks you two used protection, but you were so out of it that…well, it could be possible."

Percy's face turned ashen pale. There was a moment of passing silence, with Penelope shifting on the balls of her feet.

Penelope cleared her throat. "Well, it… you know…" he did not know. "It could… could be worse."

She seemed uncomfortable from where she was. "Percy? You've gone awfully white."

Awfully white! Percy felt like he'd just been diagnosed with rigor mortis. This was all Penelope's fault. Her and her bloody forget-me-not firewhiskey! He wouldn't have even met this woman in the first place if it wasn't or her. On the plus side, forget-me-not firewhiskey was aptly named for the woman that liked her flowers.

"I've gone awfully white?" Percy reiterated. "Are you bloody serious? Are you… having a laugh at me?"

"Why would I be having a laugh at you?" Penelope looked defensive. Why? Because he was a big, fat joke.

Audrey being pregnant! She harboured the belief that Percy wanted nothing more than her numb genitals! Percy did not know a thing about Audrey besides her preferences for small talk, but this was not painting a pretty picture. This was that self-portrait that six-year-old Charlie did for Mother's Day! It caught on fire that day!

"Percy?" Penelope looked scared to say his voice. So, her telling him off for being useless was a bonus today?!

Percy stared at Penelope with a hardness to his face. "GET OUT OF MY FLAT!" he repeated.

Penelope closed her eyes, and her hands were shaking. Why was she crying? She wasn't about to have a baby! She wasn't the one that had to rewrite the reports that her ex-partner tore up for no reason! She wasn't the one that had to sober up to the fact that this woman had been by herself for most of her pregnancy because she was under the impression that he wanted nothing to do with her anymore!

"Percy, I know this is very hard for you to deal with…" Penelope suddenly said, and he was so enthralled he wished that he could strangle her with his favourite bathrobe. "It's a shock that—"

She looked terrified when he smashed his coffee cup on his ground.

"You know what? I'm sick of this!" Percy snapped, his hands shaking. "If YOU'RE not leaving this flat, I WILL!"

Percy placed his hands into the pocket of his pants. He was desperately underdressed. He suddenly hated this flat so much. When he went down three flights of stairs, he collapsed at the bottom stair. He buried his head into his knees.

The truth was, besides the pub—HA, he didn't really know where to go! What in Merlin's name happened to him? Penelope was right. When did he turn so cynical and unhinged?

He didn't even drink because he was an alcoholic. He had stopped drinking a week ago but picked it up again because he had nothing better to do and was sickeningly lonely. Percy didn't want to turn up to work because he didn't want the risk of running into his father. He was so anxious that his heart did more leaps in an hour than a Chaser AND he was technically working from the flat that he hated more than Ron hated Prefects Who Gained Power. His apartment complex was smack in the middle of nowhere, and it smelled like his mum's casserole after she burned it.

Even if he did apologise, he didn't deserve the Burrow anymore. At the same time, he couldn't tolerate a single negative comment about himself anymore. He felt like he'd just crack under pressure… not unlike a crème brûlée!

He knew his insides were made of undercooked white slop that he'd been trying to repackage into something better.

Percy was a fool. He used to think that nothing could be worse than the pressure he was under, working for Crouch and having his family call him demeaning things because he was dedicated to his job. He was being smothered by his workload every single day and they laughed at him for kissing Crouch's arse. That was when he was on good terms with them! Now, Percy could just imagine the terrible things they were saying about him in his home. The thought of his own siblings bad-mouthing him after the row depressed him so much. Even if he made up with his father, they'd continue to hate him. Even if he came home tomorrow, nothing would ever be the same ever again…

Percy ruined that the second that he chose to walk out of the Burrow. And at the time, he didn't realise that he had.

Now, how was he, Perfect Prissy Percy, supposed to have a child when he'd just left home this summer? He was barely of age! He couldn't shield himself from other people's sneers! How in Merlin's name was he supposed to do that for a child? What if there really was a war and Harry wasn't a crockpot like he thought? How was he supposed to take care of a child in a bloody war? The way his mum did, by yelling at him because she couldn't control the twins? Screeching at him when he opened the window to look outside because it had been so long since he'd been out?

What if Audrey didn't want anything to do with him because he was a berk that wasn't there for the past few months?

Percy slept with Audrey nearly seven or eight months back! She was closer to popping that bloody baby out of her Kneazle cave than he'd be comfortable with. He didn't have any parenting books. He didn't know if she'd been to any birthing classes. He didn't know if she visited any muggle version of healers! He was so skint that it was ridiculous. He'd just bought this flat yesterday! If he knew he was having a baby, he'd have looked for a cardboard box without any form of eckeltricity. (It had to have plumbing, of course. He wasn't an animal.) Oh, and for the icing his death day tombstone cake, his parents didn't even know he broke up with Penelope to begin with!

That would be quite the chat. Mum, I've left Penelope. Here's a muggle I slept with… she's having my child! I… I don't know if she wants me around! Oh, but I can't tell you that, mum, because I've slammed the door in your face three days ago!

"Hey," Penelope said. She was cool in her shorts. He was turning into a loaf of chocolate-chip pumpkin bread. "Hey."

Penelope sat down right beside him and held his arm. "Percy?" her voice was soft. "Are you alright?"

"I suppose," if she believed him, then he might have an aneurysm. "I'm eighteen. That's even worse than my father."

Arthur had Bill when he was just twenty years old. And here, Percy was! He never even got to enjoy the shag.

"It's alright," Penelope said softly. "You know… Audrey… Audrey needs you around."

"What about what I need?" Percy snapped at her. She was not very good at this comforting thing. He realised that he must sound arrogant to her, but what did he care? He was the only one that could care for himself, and he wasn't doing a good job of that either. He probably had degenerative heart disease from the stress of last year alone.

Penelope placed a hand on his shoulder. "I know this job is very important to you—"

"You think this is ABOUT A JOB?" Percy yelled. "She's having a bloody baby and you think that I'm put off by that

because I don't want it to ruin my chances with the Minister? What… what kind of person do you take me for?"

"I'm sorry," Penelope said, tears falling from her eyes. Why was she crying AGAIN? Oh, Merlin. "I'm so sorry."

When SHE cried herself out, Percy got up and led her back to his flat. She ate his chocolate-chip pumpkin bread.

"What are you going to do?" by then, Penelope was calm. Now, she wasn't telling him off, or crying all over him.

Percy leaned against his table. He'd broken off a piece of that bread to feed to Hermes. During this time, he concluded that he'd rather have his owl be Audrey's obstetric healer than have Penelope anywhere near him ever again.

"I don't owe you an answer," Percy finally said. "And don't come to my flat ever again."

Penelope looked shocked to hear that. He didn't know why. She belittled him without hearing his arguments and then told him that Audrey was be pregnant. Then SHE cried about it! Just like she cried about their break-up.

"But… I thought we were friends," Penelope reached over to squeeze his hand. "You need someone to talk to!"

She cleared her throat. "You're a good person, Percy. It's just you do these things… and they make me so mad. You lose your way so much sometimes. Like with your parents! That fight is ridiculous."

Why did it always have to be him that was wrong? Why couldn't he be right? Deep down, he might know that he was wrong, but he'd barely wrapped his head around the row that he had with his father. Now, he was having a baby in a few weeks. Bloody splendid. He was going to put it right next to his owl and magical toaster… HIS BABY!

"And why in Merlin's name would I talk to you? So, I could try to keep you together when Audrey is busy being inhabiting a foetus in her uterus? I most certainly do not need to take care of YOU as well!" Percy yelled. "Maybe you could, yet again, let me know just how much of a horrible son I am! I could only be a terrible father too!" he never thought he'd say that statement at least for a decade. He was eighteen bloody years old.

Tears were stinging in his eyes. When Penelope reached over to brush a tear, he pushed her hand it away.

"Get out of my flat," Percy ordered. He was not repeating himself. He saw Penelope nod her head, and slowly make her way to his door. He felt a great relief. She had multiple chances to say her piece as far as he was concerned.

"Percy," she looked at him. She looked worried. "You're going to be okay." No, he wasn't! She failed Divination!