A/N: Christmas break means I'm writing a lot. XD Because there're nothing else to do, but anyway. –dutiful pose-
Disclaimer: I'm not Kishi. There's no way in hell I'd kill Kuzu and ruin everything. X3-
Enjoyyy~~
Hello Lovely, I Hate You
Chapter Twelve
"Dammit, Kakuzu!" Hidan growled, holding him up. "This is seriously not a good thing, got it?! I mean, how am I supposed to annoy you when you're dead?!"
He had a major tendency to overreact with everything. While he was busy ranting and freaking out, the resilient miser was already blinking himself back to reality. His voice cracked some as it got used to itself again, but it mumbled through a splitting headache, "How…fucking stupid… are you…?!"
"Kuzu?! You're alive?!"
"No shit, dumb ass…! Ouch, what the hell hit me?!"
"Um…me…?"
His eyes blazed, staring at him in that totally loathing way of his. "Oh, I should have known. Why do I even ask?"
"Are you okay?!" He whimpered, begging Jashin to just go ahead and damn him to hell right on the spot. Hell was where he fuckin' belonged, anyway. Who was he fooling? Naturally he would go so far to use his not-boyfriend as a goddamn speed bump!
Blood dripped pathetically from his throbbing nose, and Kakuzu stared up at him as if he was nothing more than an ignorant amoeba, not worth his time. "Well, let's see. Give it a nice long thought, if you're capable of thinking, that is. DO I FUCKING LOOK OKAY TO YOU!?"
Hidan grimaced, the spiteful words tearing into his veins. Oh, what he wouldn't give for a nice knife on hand to give all his blood to Jashin. "I'm sorry…" He muttered in a small voice, and meaning it for once. "Damn it, I can't do anything right."
Kakuzu noticed the misery coating Hidan's voice, and winced. "Hey, stop that. You're not the kind of person who goes around moping."
"Nehh…"
Heaving himself up, he gritted his teeth through sharp pains inside his skull. "Ouch. Fuck. Look, I think I have a concussion. Redeem yourself and take me to a hospital. I hate hospitals, but that's what insurance is for…" He stopped and wearily glanced at a limp, shocked Hidan. "Hey, Mopey! I fucking forgive you. You're just an idiot by nature, you can't help it."
Glaring once half heartedly, he helped him climb into the car that had just hit him to the curb. "But I don't want you to forgive me. I nearly fucking killed you."
The first real chance he'd gotten at something actually nice. A relationship that was fun through the handy façade of angry nagging.
Kakuzu sighed, agitatated. "Damn it, would a half dead person do this?!"
"Huh?" Hidan looked up just in time to see a scraped up fist come sailing to meet squarely with his jaw bone. "SON OF A BITCH, KUZU!" He growled, reeling backward.
"Take me to the hospital." Nodding smugly, Kakuzu turned the key in the ignition for him. "Or I will hit you again. But next time, it will be directly in the balls."
You couldn't really blame him for being testy. He had a killer head ache, and his insurance rates were about to go up.
Stupid Jashinist.
Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid little Jashinist!
That was exactly why Kakuzu preferred dogs.
--
The nurses made quite a fuss over him. Hidan lingered in the background feeling guilty but also confused as to why Kakuzu wasn't telling them the story about how he'd gotten so banged up.
He wasn't protecting Hidan, was he? A tiny blush filtered through the music-junkie's cheeks as he wondered. No, that was too good to be true. He was probably just drawing out the torture to make him feel worse. Zetsu, I wish you were here so you could hurry up and tell me what the fuck I'm supposed to do now…
Oh, wait. Never mind. Zetsu was at work, the place he couldn't go any more because he was reckless about everything, right down to refilling the receipt printer. (He was always breaking that pesky little fucker. Numerous times his pay check had been docked for it…)
"Excuse me, sir?"
"Hm?" A nurse was beckoning him over, pausing her work on Kakuzu. "Yeah?"
"Do you need help, too?"
"What?"
"Your, ah, jaw." She explained, slightly confused. "It's all bruised. Do you need someone to examine it? Do you think you broke it…?"
HE almost cracked a smile. Already he'd nearly forgotten about Kakuzu slugging him to bring him back to his senses. It hadn't worked all that well, obviously, because he was still very preoccupied with worry. "Oh, no. Um. I'm with him."
"Ah, I see." She nodded, smoothing her shirt. "Well, we're going to move him into a room and keep him a day or so for observation. Something gave him a nasty concussion, but he won't say what did."
Hidan bit his lip. No, really!? "Is that so…?"
"Yes… But anyway, I'm afraid you'll have to wait until later to talk to him for long. Family only for now."
"He is!"
Hidan's head snapped over to where Kakuzu sat looking pissed off in a wheeled gurney. "I am?"
The death glare Kakuzu sent him told him to shut of or he would take up on that offer to get kicked in the balls. "Erm, yeah. He's my brother!" He called to the nurse, who took a doubtful look at Hidan.
"Uh…are you…sure?" She muttered, giving him an uncertain once-over.
Come on, seriously. We look about as alike as a lobster and a toucan. Did you, like, lose your sanity when you hit your head, Kuzu?
"Adopted brother." The miser clarified, not bad at acting. But, what with all his impatient huffing, even the doctor with the very best bedside manner was going to have issues keeping him happy. Being cranky and irritable defined him.
Maybe that was how Zetsu could tell they were made for each other…
Giving a great sigh, the nurse gave in and let Hidan follow them into Kakuzu's temporary room. Curiously, he took a look at the gown they'd made their patient wear. Somehow he could even make a paper thin dress-thing look good…
Once they were alone, Hidan licked his lips and ventured, "So, I have to know. Why the hell did you tell them I'm your brother?"
"Hm? To get you in here."
"Yeah, no duh. But why? Like, seriously. I'd feel a lot fucking better if you told me you hate me. You are totally right, I need my driver's license revoked. Badly. But why won't you scream at me and ell me I fuck everything up and that you'd love to never have to see my sorry ass again?"
"Easy," Kakuzu smirked. "Charlie would miss you. I can't have Charlie sad, can I?"
"Ha." Hidan grinned. I guess there is a heart somewhere in there… But there was one more thing he wanted to know before they could return to enjoying some more awkward silence. "And what about you? Would you miss me?"
Kakuzu blinked in surprise. Scratching the bandage on his head, he took a moment before quietly answering, "…Maybe."
Hidan smiled. "That's what I thought, too."
--
A/N: Happy Christmas everyone. :D I'll write more soon. There will be more Charlie then. –grin- Oh, and Shishio! XD I've got to say thank you for making me more determined not to accidentally fall into the Land of Predictability. :3 But I hope this chapter made up for it. I wish you lots of presents also. And everybody else! :DDD
Semi-Spoiler Alert! Kuzu's only in the hospital so I can introduce a new character soon. D
