Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or the characters. The creative storyline of this fic ended up being mine though. :P


Try as she might, Inoue Orihime could not stop thinking about a certain orange-haired boy.

She had caught her thoughts drifting over to the boy all night long, away from her Physics homework, from her TV drama series, even from her own thoughts of the little polka-dotted men.

She had been replaying the events of the night over and over in her mind.

And every single time, to her utmost horror, she would re-discover that she had been angry with Kurosaki Ichigo, and had lashed out at him.

I've done it. Orihime thought. I've gone and forced my thoughts on him.

She had decided a long, long time ago, that she would keep her thoughts to herself. She repeated to herself her motto for so many years:

No one wants to know what you really think. Keep your trash to yourself. Telling others of your thoughts only troubles them.

Before she could continue chanting, however, a stray thought found its way into her brain.

Did I really say that I think he's an amazing person?

Suddenly, her mind went blank. Every thought that had previously occupied her brain went flying out the window, replaced by a strong compulsion to swear.

Oh my God, I didn't, did I?

As if just to annoy her, the answer came, Oh yes you did. And then, out of control, thoughts Kurosaki Ichigo started invading her brain.

How his brows would look when his scowl slacks without himself noticing.

How his eye will become clouded one moment, and then clear as water in the next.

How his wide, hard back felt against her hands.

And the time when she couldn't help noticing just how safe she had felt when he was around her, even with the thugs around them.

And how his eyes reminded her of mocha mixed with wasabi and mustard, the warmth and the contentment that it brings. It made her want to stay by him forever.

But that's not the reason I want to stay by him. She told herself. I want to stay by Kurosaki-kun because I want to make sure he's not lonely, and then make everyone notice how he actually is.


So I'm an amazing person, eh? Kurosaki Ichigo smirked to himself, as he replayed Orihime's little outburst in his mind again.

From her strong tone, her shaking of her little body, and the fire in her eyes, Ichigo could read that she had meant what she had said.

Why had she said that? Did she really mean it? Why was she angry? Her outburst had caused a stream of questions to surge from the bottom of his mind, overwhelming him so he couldn't make a single response.

Even now, lying on his bed, only one thought was clear to him: She thinks I'm an amazing person. He thought dreamily.

Then, realizing what state of mind he had been in, Ichigo cleared away all the questions in his mind. Why am I so worked up anyway? I'm only staying by Inoue to make sure that she wouldn't commit suicide. He told himself.


The next morning, Orihime was walking up the stairs to her classroom, when she caught sight of the tall, orange-haired figure looming over another person at the top of the staircase. Hey… Is that Kurosaki-kun over there? And who is that person he's with?

Over the distance, Orihime couldn't make out what they were saying. As she prepared to greet him, Orihime suddenly caught a part of their speech, "…Inoue Orihime…"

At the mention of her name, Orihime's instinctively went back down the stairs, hiding and eavesdropping from below.

The girl Kurosaki-kun was talking with was obviously unhappy to be talking to him. She kept shaking her head and was tapping her feet impatiently on the ground. Slowly, Orihime edged towards them, taking one step at a time. She could hear more and more now.

Suddenly, the girl ran away, and Ichigo kicked the trash can just next to him.

"Damn! Just how can I stop Inoue from committing suicide when I can't even talk to anyone properly?" Ichigo grumbled under his breath, and then stormed away.

Orihime, stunned by what she had just heard, was rooted to the spot.


The rest of the day passed in a daze for Orihime. She thought about what she had overheard that morning.

She had thought that she was the one that must stay by Ichigo, but in reality, the situation had been the reverse right from the start.

So last night wasn't the first time I've messed up in front of Kurosaki-kun. Orihime realized at some point. Ah, it must have been after the first time I went over there for dinner, isn't it? He must have heard me yelling "Gloom!".

And I've taken advantage of Kurosaki-kun's nice personality, haven't I? Having heard that, there's no doubt he would be worried about me. Her train of thought continued.

Another voice in her mind asked, What about that time he had protected you from the drunk men? Would he have hesitated if he was just simply worried of you?

The look in Ichigo's eyes flashed before her eyes.

That must have been worry. Right from the start, there has never been loneliness there, I've just imagined it. She decided.

Failing to find a retort to that, Orihime decided to make her next meal at the Kurosaki Clinic canteen her last. Now that I know it, I'm definitely not going to burden Kurosaki-kun anymore. She decided.


Inoue Orihime entered the Kurosaki Clinic Canteen at exactly 8p.m., the time she had always arrived. She sat at the table she and Ichigo always shared.

Just as always, Ichigo took her order, brought it to the table along with his own dinner, and then ate together with her.

Orihime was determined to make this meal the same as any other meal they had had before. She even managed to put in some rambling about the little black men and the white gnomes.

As she rambled on, she marveled at how she had gotten used to coming to the Clinic Canteen and eating supper with Kurosaki Ichigo.

She was familiar with the way he held his spoon, like holding a pen, at the top of the handle.

She could always know just when he would brush his hand through his hair.

She recognized the way he would look into her eyes when he was talking to her, like she was the only person in the whole world.

Then, she wondered just how her hand would feel in his hands. As she stared at his hands, she started imagining how it would feel. Would it feel hot? Cold? Would his hands be rough? Smooth? Soft? Hard?

Suddenly, she heard Ichigo ask, "Inoue, are you okay?"

"Sorry, Kurosaki-kun! I'm fine!" Orihime answered. There's no reason for him to suspect anything's different. She stopped herself from panicking, and shoved another spoon of yellow curry rice into her mouth.


When they cleared up the table after they had finished eating, Orihime made sure to drop a spoon, as she usually did. One more down. Orihime thought, as she ticked off another item in her mental "normal things I do" list.

After Ichigo carried the dishes to the kitchen, they started their usual routine of him washing the dishes, and Orihime wiping them.

Orihime took a clean plate from Ichigo, wiped it dry, then put it into the drawer.

Take. Wipe. Put.

Take. Wipe. Put.

As Orihime's hands did the mundane labor automatically, she found her mind wandering to Ichigo's hands again.

This time, she wondered how it would feel if he held her hands in his.

His hands were strong, Orihime could tell this by sight. Veins and tendons flexed as he moved his manipulated the cutlery with his fingers.

But somehow, Orihime couldn't imagine his touch to be anything other than gentle. Just like how everything is with Kurosaki-kun. He only looks scary. She thought.

Then, she started thinking of ways to "accidentally" touch Ichigo's hand while taking dishes from him.

Immediately, she reprimanded herself. This is not good. You've caused enough trouble for him. You shouldn't bother him anymore.

As the pile of dishes in the sink shrunk in size, and the number of dishes grew steadily, Orihime found that she was taking more and more time to dry the dishes.

And all of a sudden, it occurred to her that this was going to be the last time she washed dishes with Kurosaki Ichigo.

At the last dish, Orihime found herself staring at the plate.

And she didn't want it to be.

This isn't time to think of what I want! I don't matter! He matters! She stared at the dish in concentration as she rotated it by 45 degrees, 180 degrees, and then finally, wiped the whole dish dry.

At that precise moment, Ichigo came back from closing down the canteen. "You ready?" He asked.

Then Orihime realized that it would be their last bike ride too.


After Ichigo got onto the bike, Orihime stood staring at the bike. How long has it been since their first bike ride? Six months? Five?

If I never get onto the bike, this would never end, right? She kidded herself. However, she found this choice hugely attractive.

"Inoue? You need help to get on the bike?" Ichigo looked back from atop the bike, and stretched out a hand.

Now, Orihime's attention turned to the hand. She wanted to touch it, and now there's a perfect opportunity. I should take his help. It isn't any trouble to him, right? Since he offered it… Her hand slowly reached out.

You've done it again! A sharp, shrill voice yelled inside her head, stopping her hand in the middle of its movement. He's forced to help you because you're weak! At that, Orihime's head cleared, and she retracted her hand.

"No, I'm fine, Kurosaki-kun! Sorry!" She put on a smile, and, steeling her resolve, she got onto the bike. I'm not causing any more trouble for Kurosaki-kun anymore. She swore.

Orihime remained silent for the first part of the way back, rehearsing her lines in her mind.

Then, at the mid-point of their journey, a junction, Ichigo stopped, waiting for the train to pass.

Seeing her chance, Orihime suddenly said, "Hey, Kurosaki-kun, remember how we met? You thought I was trying to kill myself!" Then, she added a laugh.

There was no response from Ichigo. Perhaps he didn't hear me?" Orihime thought, and went on, "You know why I won't ever kill myself, Kurosaki-kun?"

This time she did get a response, an interested "Hmm?" came from Ichigo.

"It's because there're people who'll get sad if I die. I don't want them to be sad, so I won't kill myself." Orihime said. Okay, now Kurosaki-kun know he won't have to stay by me anymore.

"What if people actually hate you, but you just don't know it?" Ichigo asked. Even though the train had passed, they remained stationary at the junction.

Orihime was surprised at the question, but quickly recovered, and answered, "This can also go the other way round, can't it? People may like you without you noticing it. They themselves may not notice it either."

Then, Orihime found herself unnecessarily adding, "And doing things that trouble people who like you is unforgivable, in my viewpoint. Because they don't have to like me, I do my best to thank them, not to burden them."

And that's why I'm doing this. She thought to herself. There's no reason for Kurosaki-kun to stay by me. I won't bother him anymore.

The bike ride continued in silence.


Right. Left. One turn left. As the bike ride went on, Orihime started counted the number of turns left.

Then, they reached her house, and the bike had come to a halt.

However, Orihime found great difficulty in getting down from the bike. It was as if there was a great weight attached to her leg, preventing her from dismounting the bike.

Be a good girl. Don't burden him anymore and disappear quietly from his life. Orihime commanded herself. The weight on her leg seemed to grow heavier.

Go! There's no reason to stay by him anymore. He doesn't need you! She told herself. And then, the weight seemed to be connected to her heart, too. The harder she tried to move her leg, the harder her heart hurt. Suddenly, she had difficulty in breathing as well.

All you're doing is cause him trouble! Go! As she yelled at herself in her mind, the weight seemed to move up her body steadily, from her leg, to her heart, then it seemed to get stuck in her throat. Only one sentence resonated in her mind: I have to go.

But she didn't want to go. She wanted to stay, and feel her hand in Ichigo's if possible. But she couldn't. She couldn't, shouldn't stay or touch Ichigo's hand. As she struggled, even the sentence disappeared, and all she was left with was a painful lump in her throat.

Fine. If I definitely can't have one wish, I should be allowed the other one. She found herself reasoning with herself.

"Kurosaki-kun? Can I touch your hand?" As she said this sentence, the weight disappeared from her leg, the pain subsided, and she dismounted the bike. I'll just touch his hand, and then disappear. I won't bother him ever again.

"Uhh… Alright." Ichigo seemed a bit taken aback by the request, but still held out his hand.

Slowly, gingerly, Inoue Orihime's hand inched towards Ichigo's, and fell into it.

It's so warm. The thought immediately struck Orihime. Then, the warmth from where their hands met travelled up her arm, through her spine, and spread to her entire body.

She started to feel things other than its warmth. His hand was slightly sweaty, probably from holding the bike handle. It felt slightly rough, and Orihime could feel the creases and contours of his hand without moving hers. And it that a callous under her pinky finger?

But still, she thought, It's so warm.

As she savoured the sensation of her hand in his, she realized that she wanted more. She wanted to feel how her body fitted in his arms, how it would feel with his hand in her hair, and…

Suddenly, Orihime's eyes shot wide open in horror, as she realized another thing.

How would it be like to kiss him?

"Good night, Kurosaki-kun." Without saying another word, Orihime hastily turned around, and walked towards her front door.

By the time she reached the doorstep, tears were freely cascading down her face. The pain in her heart was returning in full force, getting sharper by each step.

She hadn't just given in to her selfish desire of touching Ichigo's hand.

She had made herself realize that she had fallen in love with Kurosaki Ichigo, the boy she had caused so much trouble for.

The boy who never had any reason to stay by her other than to make sure she didn't commit suicide.

The boy who definitely wouldn't love her back.

"So this is the punishment for being selfish and burdening other people with my thoughts." She whispered to herself, as another teardrop rolled down her face.

As she closed the door, she lamented, An unrequited love is fine if I don't know about it. Now I've learnt about it…

Just when the door was about to close, she dissolved into tears.