Ok my dear reader's a massive sorry for taking SO LONG to update, work went mental! I worked 7 days straight 9am-6pm and also I had some trouble with my back. All which meant I didn't have that much time to proof read and write the chapters. It sucked, but, fingers crossed work should drop back down to managable hours now =). Also I just wanted to say how much I loved the Cass ep 3 Like Major Love for the chapter, and this Friday... it's all over for this season :'( But we have a 7, but but but no Cass? :O
Anyway on with the story eh?
*Disclaimer* I own nothing but the orginal characters and events, the rest belong to The CW... but a girl can dream ;0)
It had been about a week since I got rescued and I lost Channing. We didn't have a body to bury but I trusted Cass when he said he was dead. I still was pretty weak but I did notice improvements every day. I still didn't have my powers back, and if I was honest I really didn't want them. It was that side of me that had got Channing killed, nearly got Sam and Dean killed. It was dangerous and powerful and I'd lost control. I was cocky and stupid and made rookie mistakes. No matter what anyone else said, no matter how many times I replayed it in my mind, I made the mistakes. Me, and me alone. I hadn't really talked to anyone about Channing and what happened in the demon prison. I felt like a small piece of me growing each day, slowly consuming me whole. I didn't care though. Hell I don't think I gave a damn about anything any more.
I was sat out in Bobby's junk yard with a bottle of Jack. I'd been drinking alone for an hour or so when I started to feel drunk. With my powers gone I was more or less human, which meant drinking for an hour got me drunk. I was looking out into the endless rows of junk cars. So many wrecks, so many broken parts, none of them could be fixed... They're just like me... broken and can't be fixed. I'm best for scrap... I sighed and took another long swing of the bottle. The bitter sweetness of the alcohol hit me and I screwed my face up until the taste faded.
"Why do people drink this shit?" I asked looking at the bottle. I put it down by the side of me and pulled out my family knife out of my boot. The blade reflected in the setting sun. "This is all I got left of my family... a knife... Wonder what that says about me?" I mused out loud. The blade was as sharp as the day my father gave me it. The handle worn but comfortable and she was balanced to perfection. I spread my right hand out onto the car I was sat on and picked the knife up with my left hand. I started to slowly stab between my fingers. My aim was a little off but I didn't cut myself. I grabbed the bottle and took another long swing, screwing my face up all over again as the taste burnt my mouth. "Nasty." I said shaking my head a little. I took a deep breath and started to stab between my fingers again only a little faster. After each time I made it through all the gaps I took another drink of Jack. I was out there hours, each time speeding up a little. The sun and more importantly the booze had both gone and I was left alone. I felt the emptiness inside and it felt like my life was being sucked from me. "Fuck it." I sighed sliding off the car. I was a little wobbly on my feet but I made it to Bobby's back door in one piece. I stumbled up the steps but made it through the door ok. I walked into the kitchen and thankfully no one was around. I walked towards the stairs when I got caught.
"Hey Megan," Bobby called from the study. I lent against the banister for a second before turning to face Bobby. "You ok kid?" He asked as I tilted my head sideways.
"Oh yeah, just had a little drink... I'm good." I replied, my words were a little slurred. Bobby raised an eye brow at me. "No seriously... I'm, I'm I'm ok. Night Bobby!" I waved before making my way up the stairs. I sighed as I reached the top. I faked how drunk I was, but I didn't feel like answering questions or putting up with sympathetic looks. I headed to my bedroom when Sam walked out into the corridor.
"Megan." Sam said jumping a little seeing me. He and Dean weren't exactly on talking terms at the moment. It was all about Sam's soul. Dean wanted to give him it back, no matter the risk, Sam wasn't so sure. With me being out of it Dean had spent a lot of time with me. It also meant the boys hadn't talked through the problem.
"Sam." I sighed softly.
"You... been drinking?" Sam asked a little confused.
"Yeah." I replied plainly. Sam looked confused still.
"I thought... I mean, since when do you drink?" Sam asked rubbing the back of his neck.
"Since I can get drunk." I replied plainly.
"But you're not drunk?" Sam asked more then said.
"Not nearly drunk enough yet." I replied honestly. Sam shrugged a little with a small nod of his head.
"Wanna go get drunk?" He asked plainly.
"Sure, why not?" I replied turning around.
We 'borrowed' one of Bobby's cars and drove to the nearest bar. We sat drinking in silence. It was great no one asking me questions, asking me if I was ok... nothing but booze. And sure it still took me more then your average 5'' 3 girl to get drunk but I was getting there. Sam didn't seem to want to talk either, he was checking out the local talent and that included the waitress who was serving us.
"Just get her number already." I joked as Sam watched her backside as she walked away from us.
"You know, I might just do one better." He said winking as she turned to face us again. Sam laughed and turned back to me as we drank a little of our beers. "So do I even need to ask why you're desperate to get so drunk?" Sam asked. I sighed, I thought I had avoided all the questions.
"No, not really. Do I need to even ask why you were so keen to get out the house?" I asked taking a sip of my beer. Sam smirked into his glass nodding.
"I gotta admit, never thought drinking with you would be this entertaining." Sam smirked.
"Yeah well for a guy with no soul, your not so bad either." I said taking my shot and rolling it off my chin up into my mouth and then down the other side of my mouth and back onto the table.
"Thanks." Sam smirked downing his shot. We sat drinking for a while longer, just chatting about nothing really. It was weird, drinking with soulless Sam was actually fun, maybe it was because he didn't care about me, or anything. It made things less serious, less difficult to deal with.
"So when you gonna go talk to Dean?" I sighed before sipping my beer. Sam rolled his eyes at me and sighed.
"He's not going to listen to me, so why bother?" Sam asked drinking more of his beer. The waitress that Sam had been hitting on all night walked over passing us fresh beers. Sam smirked at her and she hid a small giggle.
"I've got beers for you and your um, girlfriend." She said passing me a beer. I smirked at Sam as he passed her the money.
"Oh this is just a friend." Sam smiled at the waitress.
"Oh!" She grinned looking from me back to Sam. "Well enjoy the drinks." She giggled before walking off.
"How long you guys gonna keep f-" I asked as Sam cut me off.
"Me and Dean aren't going to agree on it. I don't see the point in wasting my breath on it." Sam replied and I looked at him blankly. "What?" He asked confused.
"I was about to say flirting." I smirked sipping my beer. "But it's good to know your still Sam enough to let the fight with Dean get to you." I added drinking my beer.
"You think you could get him to come round?" Sam asked watching me carefully.
"No." I replied plainly. "He wants the old Sammy back, all emotionally and crap. He needs the old you back. Nothings going to change his mind." I added softly.
"Yeah but, you could, you know..." Sam raised his eye brows.
"Look, for the record, I'm with you. Until we know for sure that it wouldn't kill you, I don't think we should be messing around with your soul. But just because I know this, doesn't mean that I can convince your thick headed brother." I sighed.
"You two back together now?" Sam asked finishing his beer.
"Kinda... I guess. I don't know and I don't want to think about it. Honestly, he's been here for me at the moment and that's all I want." I admitted finishing my beer. Sam smiled behind me and I rolled my eyes. Two guesses at what he was smiling at. "I'm going to play pool, go.. do your thing." I joked getting up and tapping Sam on the shoulder.
"You are great!" Sam joked standing up and walking over to the waitress.
I went over to the pool table and started to play anyone. I wasn't really trying, I was loosing most of the time but I just needed to keep myself busy while I waited for Sam. The guys I were playing we're ok, joking around with me and buying me a drink even when I lost. I just lost another game when a couple of tough looking guys walked over to the pool tables. They had been watching me play for about thirty minutes, I'd clocked them when they walked in the place. A few of the guys I was sat playing with walked off. One of the tough guys walked over and picked up the spare cue. He was tall, bold and I guess looked like your a typical thug.
"Oh hey guys, you want a game too?" I asked sounding more drunk then I was. The guy with the cue smirked and looked back at the other one. The other guy was the same height with a buzz cut and a few more tattoos.
"Sure sweetheart, we playing for money... or something else?" The guy with the cue asked eyeing me up. I giggled and stumbled over to him.
"Always money, sweetheart." I said still acting more drunk then I was. I didn't mind loosing to people if they were funny and just wanted a game. But I had no intentions of loosing to a bunch of thugs who thought they could walk it. We started to play and for a while I acted stupid, missing shots and letting the guys think they were winning.
"You know, we can always swap it to something else, sweetheart, if you don't wanna loose all your money." The guy I was playing whispered in my ear as I sipped on my beer.
"Well, I mean, that's a really sweet offer," I giggled acting drunk. "But your not my type." I giggled and went to play. I'd had enough of the guys and started to play well. Within three shots I had taken the lead and only had to pot the 8 ball. The guys weren't that impressed but they bet me and so I wasn't going to be upset taking their money. I was actually enjoying myself, I wasn't sure how long I'd been playing but I knew it had been at least an hour and a half.
"You're shot." I giggled as I walked back to my drink. I was wasting time now, I was sure Sam couldn't be much longer so I waited it out in the game.
"Damn it." The guy cursed as he missed a tricky shot. His friend grunted shaking his head. I saw Sam stumble out of the back of the bar doing up his shirt. I rolled my eyes and went to the table.
"Sorry boys." I said potting the black. "Looks like I won." I said holding my hand out. They paid up and I smirked walking off. I reached Sam and smiled.
"You look happy." Sam remarked as we headed out of the bar.
"Won some money. It's all good. Have fun?" I joked as the cold air wrapped around me.
"Oh yeah." Sam smirked pulling the keys out of his pocket. Although both of us had been drinking the majority of the night, neither of us were too drunk. As we reached the car I herd someone shouting us. I turned to see the two thugs from before marching over to us, Sam raised an eye brow and looked at me. "Trouble?" He asked as the men reached us.
"I want my money back!" The guy I was playing barked.
"You bet it, if you can't handle loosing, don't bother betting." I said plainly leaning on the car.
"I said I want my money back bitch." The guy growled and the pair flashed us guns. I sighed rolling my eyes and went into my back pocket. I pulled out his money and handed it over. It wasn't worth getting shot over, not since I wasn't sure how much more my body could take.
"There you go." I sighed as he took the money. He grinned and counted it before stashing it in his top jacket pocket. The pair glanced at each other and then pointed the guns at us again.
"I want all my winnings." The guy said eyeing me up again.
"Oh that so?" I asked firmly. Sam was watching everything quietly.
"Yeah." He said grabbing my arm and dragging me over to him. Sam stepped forward but the other guy cocked his gun.
"Don't be a hero." The other guy said to Sam. I glanced at Sam and he tilted his head to the side. I nodded and spun around elbowing the guy in the nose. He let go of me and went to put his hand to his nose. I grabbed the hand that had the gun and quickly disarmed him before leg sweeping him and climbing on top of him. Punching him until he was knocked out. I was aware of Sam doing something similar to the other guy, but I wanted the money back. After I was sure the guy was not going to get back up I went in his pocket and took the money.
"Thanks sweetheart." I mocked getting up and walking back to the car.
"Nice." Sam joked as we climbed back in and drove back to Bobby's.
We got back pretty late to Bobby's but managed to not wake anyone up. In the morning I wasn't actually feeling so bad. After getting dressed I made my way downstairs to the kitchen. Bobby and Dean were sat already drinking coffee. I grabbed a cup and stretched.
"Morning guys." I said smiling softly at the pair. The night out with Sam had actually helped my mood a little.
"Morning girl." Bobby said glancing at Dean. The pair looked at each other and then looked to me. It was clear they wanted to say something, they had that look.
"What's going on?" I asked sitting down at the table near Bobby. Dean shifted in the chair a little and cleared his throat. Neither looked comfortable and I sighed.
"We need to talk to you." Dean said without looking in my eyes.
"About?" I asked plainly before taking a sip of the coffee.
"Channing." Bobby said throwing me a sympathetic smile. I shook my head and stood up from the table. I was sick to the back teeth of sympathetic smiles and understanding tones of voices.
"No." I said firmly and headed out of the kitchen. I needed to get out, if I had one more look, one more conversation about my feelings, I would have killed someone. Dean grabbed my wrist and turned me back around to face him.
"We're worried about you." Dean said softly and let go of my wrist. "You don't talk about it, about what happened. You spend most of the time alone, and if you stay around people you don't talk. This isn't you Megan."
"I don't need to talk about it." I said plainly and looked to Bobby. "And I don't need people trying to make me." I said turning and walking out of the kitchen. I went back up to my bedroom and closed the door. This wasn't what I needed at the moment. I just needed space and time. I didn't need to talk about everything and have some big fat heart to heart. I just needed to be alone. Alone was safer for everyone. Alone I couldn't get anyone killed or hurt. If I was alone none of this would have happened. I laid on the bed and groaned as I herd the door opened. I threw the pillow over my face.
"Leave me alone." I growled through the pillow. The door closed and I moved the pillow to see Dean stood there. "Please?" I asked softly. He walked over to me and took the pillow off me, hugging it a little.
"This isn't like you." He said plainly. I knew me not talking to him about the death of Channing and everything worried him. I might not always talk about things that were wrong with me, but I used to talk to Dean about big things, like people dying who was close to me.
"So?" I sighed looking up at him. He moved to sit on the bed.
"So, I can't deal with both you and Sam not being yourselves." He sighed. I pushed myself up and crossed my legs under me.
"Dean." I said his name but I was looking at my feet. "I... I think, I think I can't do this any more." I said looking up tears forming in my eyes. He looked confused.
"Do what?" His voice was soft and smooth, took my hand and rubbed his thumb over my hand.
"This." I said clearing my throat. I got off the bed and walked over to the window. "I'm 26 Dean. I'm meant to be going out there and enjoying life. I'm meant to be making mistakes and messing up with the choice of guy I date. Instead I'm messing up and costing people their lives." I sighed pushing the hair out of my face. I turned back to see Dean sat on the bed watching me. "I cant do it any more." I said plainly. Dean got off the bed and walked over to me. He wrapped his arms around me and looked down into my eyes.
"You haven't got anyone killed." He said throwing me a sympathetic smile. I pushed him away shaking my head. I was sick of sympathetic smiles and the understanding every one said they had but never really did. How could they understand? Had they got everyone they loved killed? I didn't think so.
"I got Kyle killed, my parents, my brothers and now Channing! Everyone gets hurt that stays around me Dean! I can't deal with it any more!" I shouted. "Can't you see? I shouldn't even be alive Dean! I was meant to be dead now!"
"But you're not!" Dean shouted back, his voice breaking a little. I knew it hurt Dean when I said I should be dead, but it was the truth.
"So the people around me die instead! It's only a matter of time before you or Bobby or Sam-" I started to say when Dean grabbed me.
"We are not going to die!" Dean shouted shaking me a little. I could see the pain in his eyes as he looked at me.
"I cant... I cant do this." I said pulling out of his arm. I raced downstairs and nearly fell into Sam at the bottom of the stairs.
"Megan?" Sam asked catching me.
"Sorry Sam, I need to go." I said rushing past him as Dean rushed down the stairs. Sam glanced at me and then Dean and nodded slowly. I headed for the front door and herd Dean shouting at Sam.
"Dude get out the way!" Dean snapped. I raced to my car my baby Camero and drove off, remembering to thank Sam the next time I talked to him.
There was only two people I could think of who would be safe around me. I drove to a the grave of Channing's. I pulled over on the dirt and climbed out of my baby. It had started to rain, and it seem to match my mood. I sighed as I walked to the grave. This was my fault. I thought as I knelt down putting a hand on the cross.
"I'm going to fix all this. Promise." I said softly to the grave. The rain got heavier and soon I was soaked, I pushed my dripping, curling hair out of my face and looked up to the sky. "Payton. I know you can hear me. I need you here. I need your help." I shouted to the sky. Nothing happened, the rain just continued to beat down on me, chilling me as the cold air set in. "Look, you know I'm not going anywhere. So get your arse down here now." I huffed. Still nothing. I sat down on the muddy grass and crossed my legs. I wasn't going to move at all. Thunder rumbled across the sky and lightening shot out in a folk across the darkening clouds. I still didn't move. I was sat there for hours in the rain, but I wasn't going to move until Payton showed. Finally I herd the flutter of wings and saw Payton stood in front of me. He was wearing a jacket with a hoody under it, the hood covering his hair.
"You might wanna put this on, for what good it'll do you baby girl." Payton said offering me his jacket a small smile. I got back up and wrapped the coat around me. It was warm and helped with the on set of the chills I caught from the rain.
"Thanks." I said softly snuggling into the coat. "We need to talk." I said looking up into his blue eyes.
"Yeah I figured as much, wanna go to the car? It's dry in there." Payton put his arm around me and we walked to the car. This was the first time I'd seen Payton since well since I could remember. I knew he had something to do with breaking me out but he never came to see me after I was free. "I'm glad your ok by the way baby girl." He added before we climbed in. I nodded and climbed in.
"Payton-" I started to say when he cut in.
"I know what you want." He sighed running a hand through his hair as he pushed the hood off. "But girl, it ain't that simple. There's more then the lives of the people you've lost that will be changed."
"But you can do it. Think about it. If I never met Dean, no one would have died. Lucifer would still be in his box." I started to say explaining my plan.
"It's not so simple Megan." Payton said looking at me dead in the eye. His ocean blue eyes swirled. I could see he really wanted to help me out. "What about Dean? You love him!" Payton said shrugging his shoulders. "You wanna leave him for good?"
"I can't cope living like this... not now." I said looking over to the wooden cross. "I've messed up too many times. I'm just asking for the chance to fix it all. If that means never being with Dean, well I need to try. Please Pay, you're the only one who can help me." I said throwing him the puppy dog eyes.
"I can try, but things are meant to happen a certain way, the universe has it's own way of making you fallow it's plans..." Payton sighed pushing the hair out of his eyes. "I can't believe I'm doing this. Cass will kill me if he finds out." He sighed shaking his head.
"I owe you Pay." I said hugging him softly.
"I know." He laughed before touching my forehead.
The burning pain. Oh how I'd missed that- not. After the blinding light faded and the feeling of nausea passed I realised I was stood in a motel room. I looked around and it looked like I was staying there alone. I rushed into the bathroom and pulled my top off. There was no scar on my shoulder from where Dean tortured me when Alistair took over my body. I turned around and saw no protection tattoo's on my shoulders, so Eve hadn't taken over my body either. And no scar in the lower back from the silver bullet. "If I don't have those it means..." I smiled. "It means it worked." I said grabbing my top. I pulled out my phone and checked the date. It was 2008, and I was back to where it all started for me. I scrolled down my numbers in my phone and only got Sam's. I smiled realising Payton had really done it. I could save everyone from dying and all I needed to do was make sure I didn't run into the Winchesters. I started to pack my things up when I herd my phone ring.
"O'Connor?" I said sounding slightly confused.
"Girl? How's the case going?" Bobby asked gruffly.
"Bobby?" I said even more confused.
"Yeah, who else is it going to be you eijet?" Bobby asked plainly. My mind started to race as I tried to think about what case he was talking about.
"I um, I didn't think you were gonna call." I said searching the room for clues.
"Well I wasn't but I figured you might have got something. It has been three days since you reached the damn town." Bobby admitted as I opened a file on my laptop. I groaned remembering the case I was working on. I was looking into the killings of three people in the motel across town from where I was. I read my notes and saw I thought it was either a ghost or ghost sickness. As I remembered it was a ghost but I didn't know where he was buried. As I remembered Sam killed the ghost with Ruby... I groaned again. Ruby's still alive.. the two timing bitch. No matter how much I wanted to run, I needed to finish the case. First and foremost I was still a hunter. I was just planning to be a hunter who wasn't involved in the Winchesters life.
"Yeah, yeah the case..." I sighed rolling my eyes. I was screwed.
"So, you got anything yet?" Bobby asked sighing.
"I got a few leads I need to fallow up tomorrow though." I sighed racking my brains trying to remember the name of the ghost. No matter how much I thought I got noting.
"Ok, well I'll check in with you tomorrow. Be safe kid." Bobby sighed and hung up. I tapped the phone against my head trying to think of the ghost's name but still got nothing. I sat and re read everything I had on the case, it was three years ago for me and a lot had happened so I couldn't remember. Looking at a laptop screen wasn't getting me anywhere. I decided to go to the bar to get a drink and mull everything over.
I walked out to my Camaro and smiled. She was a little rusty, a little broken still but she was my old Camero, deep red pain work. She was the old baby, my old perfect baby. I ran my finger over my baby and climbed in. I drove down to the local bar and sighed as the car ride was how I remembered it. Ok maybe some things need a little change. I pulled into the parking lot and parked near some other cars, nothing looked familiar. I walked into the bar and it looked like everyone was having a good time. I smiled, it was nice to feel like I could relax for the first time in a long time. I walked up to the bar and waited to be served. I lent against the bar watching everyone dance and have a laugh. I'd forgotten what it was like to be free to just go out and have fun. I miss those days where you went out and the only thing you worried about was which drink to have first not where the nearest exit was and how many possible bad guys there were. I sighed as the bar tender walked up to me. I remembered his face but not his name. The deja vu hit me.
"What can I get you honey?" He asked giving me a once over. I remembered it and let out a small sarcastic laugh shaking my head a little. The guy seem to look at me confused for a second and I realised what I was doing.
"Yeah, jack and coke please." I said with a small smile. He nodded and walked off shrugging his shoulders. I turned around and watched a couple dance real close to each other. My heart ached a little watching the couple. It made me think of Dean and reminded me how much saving all the people I loved would cost me. I sighed holding back a couple of tears.
"Here you go." The bar tender said passing me back my drink I passed him the money and sat at the end of the bar. "Hey you ok honey?" He asked softly.
"Yeah," I said clearing my throat. "Yeah I'm ok thanks." I said taking a small sip of my drink.
I had been drinking most the night trying to remember what happened on the case. If I was honest the most I remembered was waking up in Dean's motel room after the ghost was killed. I wasn't really getting anywhere and without anything to help me remember I was going to have to go to the police station in the morning and try to figure out my next move. Hopefully avoiding both Winchester's on my way.
Dean's P.O.V.
I crashed back onto the bed with a groan. I slapped my hands over my face exaggerating my motion so that Sammy would get the picture I was bored.
"Why are we sat here reading?" I groaned moving my hands so that I could see Sammy. He was typing away at his laptop and didn't even bother to answer me. I sighed sitting back up. "I mean seriously Sammy, how are we meant to find her by reading?" I asked. Sam turned to me with a plain expression on his face.
"I'm seeing if any FBI or other agency have suddenly arrived in town. If she's a hunter she must be working an angle." Sam replied and went back to reading the computer screen.
"Yeah but why don't we tackle this in the morning, I'm bored!" I pouted and Sammy sighed turning back to me again.
"Yeah well if your angel had given us more to go on maybe we could go, but we really need to find her Dean." Sam sighed and went back to the laptop.
"Dude you suck!" I said throwing the pillow at him. Sam groaned and turned to look at me holding the pillow. I smiled sweetly at him and he rolled his eyes.
"You know what Dean, why don't you go to the local bar, you know what she looks like anyway so you might see her in the town. I'll stay here and keep researching and let you know." Sam suggested. I jumped up off the bed grinning.
"You know what Sammy, that might not actually be a bad idea." I joked heading for the door. We were in the town originally to investigate a ghost but as soon as we hit the town Cass had visited me. Cass was my angel on the shoulder who saved me from Hell. He burnt this woman's face into my mind, literally. I drew a sketch for Sam, but there was something about her. When I closed my eyes her face smiled at me. I wouldn't admit it to anyone, but I wouldn't mind actually meeting the chick for non-supernatural reasons. She was pretty hot, and not my usual type. I was attracted to her, which could make protecting her tricky. Cass said that we needed to protect her, but he didn't say why or how long for. In fact he was pretty vague about everything other than we needed to meet her. I was learning he wasn't a big fan of sharing. It was annoying but what could you do?
I dived into the Impala and drove to the local bar. The place seemed ok, the music was ok and the place seemed pretty popular. I walked up to the bar and ordered a drink. I grabbed a table the far side of the room and started to drink. I looked around the place and saw a lot of couples dancing. I saw a group of hot single girls drinking the far corner of the bar. They were loud and getting more drunk by the second. I grinned as one caught my eye and winked at me. Oh yeah these girls wanna party. I thought downing the rest of my beer. I walked over to the bar to get a new beer when I saw her. The woman Cass had burnt into my mind. She was breathtaking, I mean really breathtaking. Small but perfectly formed, long dark brown hair, big brown eyes and lips that cried out to be kissed. My heart actually jumped into my mouth as I watched her bring the bottle up to her mouth, she licked her lips as she put the bottle back down and I swear... I took a deep breath and got control of myself. I ordered a shot and downed it before walking over to the beauty I was going to protect. Some days I loved my job...
Megan's P.O.V
I was sat drinking, a couple of guys came up and hit on me. I told them I wasn't interested. It started to get late and I hadn't bumped into Dean. I finished my beer and glanced around the bar when I saw him walking towards me. He was flashing me 'the how you doing?' smile he used on girls he was hitting on. It felt weird knowing he was hitting on me even back then. I sighed rolling my bottle across the counter as he swaggered up to me.
"Hey," He said smiling. I started to panic, I wasn't sure how to react. I was trying to avoid Dean, avoid the whole Winchester family.
"Hi." I said plainly realising I needed to think fast.
"My name's Dean." Dean said passing his hand to shake. I glanced at his hand and then his eyes. The big green orbs I loved, it was his eyes I had fallen in love with at first.
"Megan." I replied shaking his hand firmly. Dean looked at our hands and smiled back.
"You're not from round here are you?" Dean asked sitting in the seat next to me. I needed to get him away but I wasn't sure how. Also I wasn't so sure I wanted to leave.
"How'd you guess?" I said sarcastically looking at Dean with a small grin.
"I'm just that good." Dean laughed and I couldn't help but laughed a little too. "So what you doing in town?" Dean asked watching me. I moved in my seat picking up the bottle and rolling it in my hands.
"Just passing through, doing the whole site seeing adventure." I lied turning to him. "How about you?" I asked softly. My mind was still racing, I knew the longer I stayed with him, the high my chances of doing everything the same and loosing everyone I loved.
"Travelling with my brother." Dean replied softly looking at the bottle in my hands.
"Just travelling?" I asked softly. Dean looked slightly confused and then nodded.
"Yeah. Can I buy you a drink?" He asked flashing me the school boy grin. I shook my head. I had to leave, I had to.
"No, I really should be going." I sighed looking out to the crowd.
"Is one drink really going to make such a difference?" Dean asked softly. I sighed and looked into his eyes. He was the love of my life, literally, the guy I would die for. I was about to change my own history, by letting him go. So what would one drink change? I thought and nodded.
"Ok just one." I said as he grinned at me. Dean bought me a beer and we sat drinking. I tried not to talk too much and tried not to tell him much about me. Which worked out well because Dean enjoyed talking.
"You wanna dance?" Dean asked as I finished my beer. I looked out to the dance floor and glanced back at Dean. Would one dance hurt? One last dance to say goodbye?
"I'm not so sure..." I sighed looking back at him.
"It's a dance, not a date." Dean joked flashing me a heart warming smile.
"Yeah but I really should be going..." I said sadly. He held his hand out.
"Just one dance, please." Dean said and I looked at his hand.
"One dance." I said taking his hand. He led me to the dance floor without a word and wrapped his arms around my waist as we danced. I wrapped my arms round his neck and moved closer to him. Dean looked a little surprised at first but quickly settled into my movement. The music was slow and seem to suit the situation. As the song continued I rested my head on his chest and took a deep breath. I wanted to remember everything about him. His scent, the way his nose would crinkle when he thought no one was watching him thinking. The green of his eyes, the sleep smile he used to flash me when he first woke up. The feel of his body pressed against mine when we were in bed. The way he would pull me out of danger. The way he giggled at the most childish jokes. It wasn't until I was dancing with him that I finally realised how hard it would be to walk away from him. The song ended and I moved back giving him a sad smile.
"You ok?" Dean asked looking at me with a worried face. I nodded.
"Yeah, I'm just a little drunk. Thanks for the dance Dean." I said and walked off. I got out of the bar and let out the breath I was holding. My heart was broken knowing I wouldn't see him again, but I had to keep in mind that I was saving not only my family but others too like Channing. I had to go through with it.
I didn't go to sleep because all I could think about was Dean. How much I was going to miss him, how much I was going to miss out on without him in my life. I hoped he would be ok without me there and I rationalised he would be. I tried half the night to convince myself he would be ok. Then a thought hit me, if I told Cass everything then he could protect Sam and Dean, stop the apocalypse from ever happening and who knows, maybe even save Adam from the ghouls. It was a big chance to take, Cass could have just sent me back to my time but I figured it was worth the chance. "Castiel! Hey angel boy! I need to talk to you! Can you hear me?" I shouted to the ceiling. Nothing happened. I tried the rest of the night, but Cass never showed. In the morning took a shower and dressed as FBI. I needed to get a better look at the reports of the recent murders, the case's I found all said that the previous victim's in the motel room had all had a Chinese rope burn on their left writs, I remembered it had something to do with the ghost and if Cass wasn't going to answer me I needed to get the case over with and start to track Lilith down. I knew how to kill her, the Colt, now all I needed to do was find Crowley, then Lilith and kill them both before Sam could get to her. That way the apocalypse would never happen and I could live knowing I'd saved my family, Karl, Channing and maybe even Adam. I grabbed my fake badge and put my sunglasses on. I walked to my car and drove to the police station. All the way there I thought about Dean and the convocation we had, he was the perfect guy, my perfect guy. I wasn't sure how I was going to live without him, but I knew I was doing the right thing. I pulled up to the station about ten minutes later and walked up to the front desk. It was exactly as I remembered and I smirked to myself as the guy behind the desk looked up at me.
"Hello, I was wondering if you could help me?" I said smiling sweetly at the bit of a kid that sat behind the desk.
"Sure Miss, what do you need?" He asked sitting up straight
"I'm Special Agent Thomas with the FBI and was wondering if I could take a look at a couple of records to do with the recent murders within the local motel?" I said flashing my badge.
"You mean the deaths?" He asked looking a little confused.
"Yeah. Sorry, I have a suspicious mind." I replied with a small nervous laugh. The guy laughed too and nodded. I remembered making the same mistake and kicked myself for doing it again.
"Sure, I'll take you to the other Special Agent looking at them." He said standing. Other Agent? Oh crap, he means Dean! If I back off now he's going to think something is off! I thought giving the kid a smile. He buzzed me through the back and I followed him to a small office in the back. He reached out to knock on door and I grabbed his wrist pulling out my gun. The guy looked at me confused.
"The guy in there isn't an FBI agent. I'll take care of him, I just need you to make sure no one rushes in until I arrest him, ok?" I asked thinking on my feet. The officer nodded slowly and moved back. I took a deep breath and walked into the room. Dean was sat looking at a folder on the desk. He looked up as I closed the door and looked at me slightly confused.
"So this part of the travelling?" Dean smirked, then he noticed the gun. "Before-"
"Dean," I sighed putting the gun away. "I need you to call Castiel for me."
"How do you know about Cass?" Dean asked standing up from the desk and walking around to the front.
"It's complicated. Just call him, he wouldn't answer me and I don't want any other angel's hearing me." I sighed walking over to him. Dean raised an eye brow as I sat in the chair just in front of him. "Please?" I asked softly.
"CASTIEL!" Dean shouted to the roof and waited for something to happen. I watched him as he sighed. "Hey, Cass come on man!" Dean said to the roof again.
"He does answer your call's right?" I asked as Dean looked back at me.
"Usual." Dean answered, I nodded softly. "So you gonna explain all this?" Dean asked waving his hands around.
"Actually,no, no I'm not." I said plainly. Dean gave me a small sarcastic smile. We sat there for a few minutes just looking at each other. He was studying me, trying to figure me out. I'd seen him use the poker face on too many people. I hated knowing him so well, and I knew at that moment in time, he didn't trust me. Suddenly there was a flutter of wings and Cass stood in the room. He looked exactly the same as I knew him, physically anyway.
"Took you long enough." Dean said walking to Cass.
"What do you need Dean?" The Castiel asked in a plain tone.
"She wanted a word with you." Dean said pointing to me. I waved a small hand as Cass studied me hard.
"Hey Cass, man you angel's really don't change much do you?" I asked getting out of the chair and walking over to him.
"Megan. You are not from this time." Cass said plainly. There was something in his eye, a look. A look I remembered from the past. I was looking at the good little solider Castiel, the one who answered to Zachariah without question. The one who always fallowed orders. I sighed.
"Nope, what gave me away?" I joked as Dean looked at me confused.
"What? What's going on?" Dean asked looking from me to Cass.
"When are you from?" Castiel asked plainly.
"2011, and trust me, a lot's about to happen for you guys." I said turning to Dean.
"Huh? 2011? It's 2008... what, how are you here?" Dean asked confused.
"Raziel sent me." I said looking at Cass.
"He is missing. It is not possible." Cass said still looking into my eyes. I stepped closer to Cass and noticed Dean tense up. He really didn't trust me.
"You can see my soul. You've always been able to see it. Take a look..." I said looking into his eyes. I felt Castiel gaze go past looking into my eyes but deep into my soul. It felt like my chest was caving in and I started to gasp for air. I took a few steps back breaking the intense stair Cass had over me. Dean wrapped his arm around me as I almost fell over.
"You ok?" He asked looking from me to Cass. I nodded standing back up straight and waiting for Cass to speak. He looked utterly puzzled and seemed to be processing it all. "Cass?" Dean asked softly. Cass blinked and looked at both of us.
"You only have half a soul... and your werewolf side... it seems to be dormant." Cass said confused. As soon as Dean herd werewolf he pushed me away grabbing my gun and drawing his own on me. I threw my hands in the air and glanced at Cass.
"Dean, look it's not what you think." I said as Cass clicked his fingers, making both guns disappear.
"What the hell Cass? She's a werewolf! One of the bad guys!" Dean shouted pointing to me.
"She is still chosen." Cass said plainly.
"Actually, I'm not. 2008 Megan was. I'm changing it." I said and the guys turned to me.
"You can not change the destiny laid down for you." Cass said looking at me.
"Yeah well when God's been missing as long as he has been, and the way Heaven's going, I really can." I said folding my arms over my chest.
"You can not." Castiel said he tapped me on the head with his fingertips and everything went white before I had chance to explain anything.
The next thing I knew I was stood in a motel with Dean. It was clear that he didn't trust me and it hurt a little since all the history I had with him. I groaned as I looked around the room. Dean gave me a questioning look.
"Douche of an angel..." I groaned. Dean nodded and walked over to the bed.
"So in 2011 we work together?" Dean asked sitting on the bed.
"Yeah." I sighed looking around the room. "You, me, Sam, and Bobby."
"What no Ruby?" Dean asked smirking. I shook my head.
"Oh hell no, that bitch gets what she deserves." I laughed.
"Really?" Dean asked fishing for details.
"You kill her." I smiled. Dean seemed to like that idea and pulled his tie off. "I know you don't trust me, but look, we were close."
"Close?" Dean choked out looking at me shocked.
"Yeah, like married." I said softly. It was almost the reverse of talking to Dean from 2015 with the Croatoan virus.
"Married? I get married... to a werewolf? Lady I don't think you know me at all." Dean joked standing up and shaking his head.
"You're most important possession is the Impala. You like mullet rock, you play the same 8 cassettes over and over and over again. You secretly wish you were a cowboy at times, because you know every Clint Eastwood film off by heart. You are scared of flying and hum Metallica whenever your really scared. You sleep with a knife under your pillow and if you eat chill you always end up leaving the sour cream because it gives you weird dreams. Sammy gave you that neck less when you were kids and you refuse to ever take it off. Your dad died saving you and Sam from the yellow eyed demon. You don't trust demons with good reason and your biggest fear, is that one day, you really will have to kill Sam." I said and his mouth dropped. "So, do I know you?" I asked plainly.
"How... how do you?" Dean asked shocked.
"We were married." I said plainly.
"Were? What happened?" Dean asked confused.
"It's a long story, look I'm back here to save people. A lot of important people." I said plainly shaking my head.
"Why don't you sound convinced about it?" He asked stepping closer to me. I took a deep breath and looked up into his eyes. The green was beautiful and I know I'd said it a million times before but really, I loved his eyes.
"I... um... So can you call Cass for me again?" I asked moving away from Dean.
"I'm learning he doesn't always want to answer." Dean admitted me. I looked around the room and found my back pack with my clothes in.
"I'm going to go get changed then..." I sighed walking over to my bag and heading to the bathroom.
I closed the bathroom door and bashed my head against it. This is stupid, I shouldn't be here, I should get changed and leave and try to call Pay or something. Staying here is a really, really bad idea. The longer I stay around Dean, around the Winchesters the harder it will be to leave... I sighed and started to get changed. I found my family knife in the bag and smiled. It was nice to have some things the same. I changed into a pair of dark blue jeans and black vest top. I walked out of the bathroom as Dean was pulling over his shirt.
"So what's the plan now?" Dean asked as I walked over to him.
"I'm leaving." I said plainly noticing my gun on the night stand next to Deans.
"Leaving? What about the ghost?" Dean asked as I moved past him to get my gun.
"You and Sam can handle it." I replied plainly.
"Wait, wait, wait. Cass said you need to stay around us to be safe." Dean said blocking my path. I was trapped between the two beds.
"That was the old me, remember I know what's going to happen, so... move." I said plainly.
"No." Dean replied plainly but firmly.
"Move or I will move you." I replied and Dean smirked.
"You really think you could move me?" Dean asked laughing a little.
"I know," I said walking closer to Dean and putting my hand on his chest. I ran my hand down his chest and rested it on his belt. I glanced up at him and saw how nervous he was getting. "Just how to make you more." I whispered wrapping my leg behind his and flipping him so that he landed on the bed. I tried to move but as he fell Dean grabbed me and held me on top of him.
"It's not that easy sweetheart." Dean grinned before letting go of me. I groaned and rolled off him and the bed. "Now, I just need to ring my brother." Dean said pulling out his phone. I turned my back on him and listened in on the convocation.
"Hey?" The voice said. It was Sam.
"Hey I can't really talk, but I've found the girl." Dean said softly.
"Wow, is she ok?" Sam asked.
"She's er... yeah she's ok not hurt. We're going to salt and burn the bones of the dude who's being killing everyone. Got a name yet?" Dean asked a little louder.
"Marc Strong, he was a guy who had mental difficulties. Apparently the town used to tease him and all he would do was give rope burns back. A couple of jocks got done for the murder but, never went to jail. The judge was the lead jocks son." Sam said explaining the ghost. I felt a cold chill come from the bathroom. I looked in that direction and there was a guy stood in the door way. His image jumped and flickered. It was the ghost... the one who started my whole path with the Winchesters.
"Dean?" I said softly looking at a man who had been shot with a shot gun stood smiling at me.
"Just a second," Dean said and continued his convocation. "So where is he buried?"
"Dean." I said a little louder.
"In the cemetery, but I don't know if you should take the girl with you." Sam said. The ghost started to move forward.
"Oh I'd say I'd be safer in the cemetery right now. Winchester!" I shouted still smiling at the ghost who was smiling back at me. Dean turned to shout at me and reached for his gun. "Don't! He seems calm. Just leave and salt and burn him." I said still looking at the ghost.
"But, he could kill you." Dean said softly watching the ghost move slowly closer to me.
"Dean? Dean what's happening?" Sam said sounding panicked.
"Dean, I can look after myself a little while anyway." I said smiling.
"Are you sure?" Dean asked as the ghost got within a hand of me.
"Go." I said softly. Dean shook his head and took off. A few seconds later I herd a car engine roar out.
The ghost moved closer and touched my cheek, I didn't flinched but stood still as he watched me.
"You're pretty." He finally said tilting his head to one side and smiling, some drool escaping his lips.
"Thanks, what's your name?" I asked giving him a small smile.
"My names Marc. M...A...R...C..." He said in a child's voice. "What's your name?" He asked putting his hand on my cheek again.
"Megan, I'm Megan. Nice to meet you Marc." I said and held my right hand out. I had no idea what I was doing, I was hoping I could keep him occupied long enough to let Dean and Sam salt and burn Marc's bones before anyone else got hurt. Marc put his hand out and grabbed my left wrist.
"What are you doing?" I asked surprised at how strong he was, I'd never known a ghost with a grip that strong, and I couldn't remember him hurting me this much before.
"You're with them aren't you?" Marc asked getting agitated.
"Who?" I asked acting dumb. His face screwed up and he shook his head.
"You're with THEM!" He shouted squeezing my wrist tighter. It actually hurt. I tried to pull it free but he wasn't budging.
"I don't know what you talking about." I said trying to pull my hand free.
"LIAR!" He screamed and took my left wrist in both hands and twisted it. I screamed as it felt like he had broken my wrist rather than just a twist. He let it go and I clutched it close to my chest.
"Look Marc, you're scaring me." I said stepping back and holding my wrist close to me. It really hurt, and without my wolf powers I started to realise what a bad idea it was being trapped with a ghost.
"You. The pretty girls, they are always with THEM!" Marc screamed and disappeared. I pulled out my gun and held it tight in my right hand waiting for him to appear again. I walked around the room looking for salt or something iron I could bash him with but the room was a bust. Something pushed me to the floor and I dropped my gun. I rolled on my back and looked up at Marc.
"You're pretty." Marc said confused. His hand hovering over my chest. I kicked him away jumping to my feet.
"Glad you noticed." I smiling at him. I started to run for the door when he appeared in front of me. I panicked and shot off a few bullets on instinct. "Get out the way!" I yelled.
"You sound mad. Don't... don't be mad. No, no don't be mad..." Marc started to rant as a wind started in the room.
"Marc stop it!" I shouted as the wind got worse and Marc was screaming to himself.
"No, no don't be mad. NO!" He shouted and I went flying into the wall with a massive thud. I slid down the wall feeling worse for wear but tried to scramble to my feet.
"YOU... bad!" Marc screamed in my face out of no where. "BAD PERSON! BAD! BAD!" Marc started to scream in my face and I was shocked. I was half concussed and half shocked at what he said I couldn't make myself move as I watched him reach into my chest and grab my heart.
"Stop!" I wheezed out as he squeezed. The pain was horrible, I screamed out but it didn't help.
"BAD. BAD!" He screamed holding tighter. I gasped for breath as blood started to pour out of my mouth. My chest felt like it was being ripped apart.
"Go to hell... please." I gasped as I went dizzy and things turned black.
Someone was shaking me. Someone was pushing me and mumbling something like words. I flickered my eyes open but the light was too bright the first time. I lifted my left hand up to cover my eyes and a pain shot up my arm.
"What the fuck?" I wined as I opened my eyes fully to look at my wrist. It was broken.
"Hey, hey can you hear me?" Dean asked pushing me again he looked worried.
"Yeah, I can hear you. My wrist is broken." I wined as he helped me to my feet. I felt a little dizzy and fell into Dean. He wrapped his arm around me and walked me to the bed. I collapsed onto my back and closed my eyes again. "Took you long enough." I sighed and herd Dean laugh. Then the deja vu hit me. I was about to walk down the same path again.
"Blame Sam." Dean and I said at the same time as someone walked in. I sat up and watched Sam Winchester walk through the door. Dean was looking at me confused.
"I... I need to go now..." I said getting up and running out of the room. Dean fallowed me chasing me.
"Megan! Hey wait up!" He shouted as I ran down onto the road.
"Stay back!" I shouted turning to see him. "I... I can't do this again..." I said shaking my head.
"Do what?" Dean asked confused.
"I can't fall in love with you again! I can't loose everyone again! Please stay away!" I said as tears started to form in my eyes.
"Megan... I... I'm.." Dean walked over to me. I shook my head as he wrapped his arms around me. "I..."
"No... I need to go." I said pushing away from Dean. I looked to the road and then back to Dean. "I... need... Bye Dean." I said and started to run. As I ran I felt something start to burn in my chest. The further away I got the worse it got. I stopped as I herd Dean cry out in pain. As I turned I fell to my knees as the pain took over me. I screamed as a glowing light seem to leave both me and Dean. It was like the light was leaving both of us and going into the sky. It hurt worse then dying, worse then anything I had felt. My vision started to get darker as the light seem to leave me completely.
I shot up in the car catching my breath and clutching my chest. The rain was still beating down on my Camero's windscreen. I took a few deep breaths and started to register that I was still parked near Channing's grave. I turned round and saw Payton sat in the seat next to me. He had the sad look on his face.
"You never intended to let me change anything, did you?" I whispered softly as the pain dulled and fell away. Payton put his arm around me and pulled me closer to him.
"I can't baby girl. Things have to happen this way." He said softly kissing my forehead. He moved away to look into my eyes. His face looked so serious. "You need to know, you and-" Suddenly there was a bright light and Payton disappeared. I had to cover my eyes as the light was so bright. I slowly lowered my hands and saw he wasn't in the car with me, nothing of him was here. The coat he gave me had even gone.
"Pay?" I shouted looking around the car. I jumped out of the car and looked around, he was no where in sight. As I looked around in the pouring rain I saw the Impala pull up. Dean climbed out slamming the door and racing over to me, pulling his jacket up to protect him from the rain.
"Why the hell do you always run away from me?" Dean growled grabbing hold of my arms and shaking me a little. I burst into tears although in the heavy rain there was no way of telling I was crying. "Can't you see, no matter how far you'll run, I'll always fallow you." He said softer.
"I love you." I said and he looked utterly confused.
"What? I love you too." Dean said kissing my forehead as he chuckled a little.
"I... I thought I could change everything. I wanted to save everyone so bad." I sobbed as Dean held me close to him.
"I know baby, I know." He said kissing my forehead. "Let's get out of the rain." Dean said leading me to the Impala. We climbed in and he turned the heating on because I started to shake.
"I wanted... I needed to keep everyone safe." I stuttered as Dean grabbed my hands and pulled me closer to the heaters.
"You're freezing, here, take this." Dean said pulling his jacket off and then his shirt. He wrapped his shirt around me and then pulled me closer to him, rubbing my shoulders as he tried to keep me warm.
"I didn't change anything." I sobbed. Dean wiped the tears away from my eyes and kissed me softly on the lips.
"There was nothing you could have done." He said holding me close.
"I just wish... I wish...We are meant to protect people, not get them killed." I sobbed catching my breath.
"I know. Loosing people, it's the hardest part of it." Dean admitted barely above a whisper. "You're always left replaying what you did, trying to figure out where you went wrong, but no matter how hard you try, you can't fix it."
"I just..." I sighed looking up as I saw a tear escape from Dean's eye. I kissed his cheek softly and he turned to me slightly confused. "You're the only thing that keeps me going Dean. I really would have been dead if it wasn't for you." I said softly before kissing him softly on the lips. Dean wrapped a hand around my back and rested his other hand on my cheek. The kiss got more heated and I ran a hand threw his wet hair. He moaned into the kiss as he pulled me onto of him. His hands ran down under my soaked t-shirt as I tugged at the bottom of his shirt pulling it loose. Dean pulled my soaked top up and over my body as I did the same to him. We shared feverish kisses as things got more passionate, soon we were in back seat of the Impala. Dean pushed the damp hair off my face and grinned down at me. His emerald green eyes glowing with a passion I missed, as his body pressed against mine.
"I love you." He said leaning down and kissed my nose. I giggled and rolled my eyes.
"I love you too." I said grinning back up at him. Suddenly Dean's fell plain and he moved off me, searching the car for his jeans. "Dean?" I said sitting up on the back seat as I watched him rummage. "Dude what are you doing?" I asked utterly confused.
"Gimme a minute... I know it's in here somewhere..." He muttered to himself as he searched his jeans pockets. "Got it!" He cried out pulling something out of his pocket. He jumped over the front seat and sat next to me.
"Dude you're kinda acting like a crazy person right now..." I joked as he frowned at me.
"Shut up." He muttered before taking my hand. I watched as he open his hand and saw what he was holding. It was our wedding rings. "I love you Megan. There is no one I want to spend my life with more, and even though you like running away from me. As long as you wear this ring, I'll always be with you." He said softly sliding my ring up my ring finger.
"Dean... I..." I was speechless, he grinned at me and kissed me softly on the lips. I grabbed this ring and took his hand. "I never want to leave you again Dean. I love you so much!" I said as he pulled me into a hug before we started to kiss again.
OK, so I hope the ending wasn't too girly for you all. I just wanted a softer ep but all the action started to build with Soulless Sam and everything! PLease as always just take the extra few seconds to review thanks guys! Reviews=Love=Happy Author!
Oh and I might be doing another update this week, but the chapter will be shorte
