- Chapter Eleven –

Plaisir d'Amour


Sprinkles, being the demented devil that he is, tried to scratch my eyeballs out the moment I stepped foot in my apartment complex. Shrieking, I fell backwards and landed flat on my bottom, much to the amusement of the towering vampire standing at the door. He was smirking evilly when I glared at him. He watched Sprinkles scamper into the darkness, before he put his hands in his pockets, still smirking. My fists clenched, and I gritted my teeth. He was waiting patiently for an invitation, tapping his foot after a few seconds to let me know just how much time was passing. "Oh my darling Eric, won't you please come in?"

"Nero, it hurts me to think that there was a hint of sarcasm in your tone."

"Piss off."

The Gods must truly be frowning on me tonight, because Maggie appeared in her worn-out slippers, looking absolutely livid. "Ah, I should have known it was you causing all that ruckus, Nero, you little tramp."

"Are you still alive?" I snapped back. "I thought you would have died out when the dinosaurs did, you old hag. Your damn cat tried to kill me again."

"He did? What a shame he didn't succeed."

"Oh haw-haw, you're so funny," I hissed sarcastically. "Why don't you crawl back into your lair and bother someone else for a change?"

Maggie, however, was not listening to me anymore. She was watching Eric angrily, with her beady eyes swivelling up and down. He had been watching us with an amused smirk on his face, as if we were some kind of show, put on just for his own entertainment. When our arguing ceased, he looked strangely disappointed. If he thought I was going to go attack an elderly pensioner, he had another thing coming. If I wouldn't be so obvious. I'd poison her. Much less conspicuous. Eric clearly doesn't have any experience in subtle murders. Tch. Vampires. All fangs, no brain.

"Bringing vampires home now, Nero? That's a new low. I might call you a lot of things young lady, but I certainly didn't have you down as a fang-banger."

I glared menacingly, gasping in horror. "Ew. You perverted old bat, he's a friend. Eh, bet you don't know what that word means, do you? Friend. A person who willingly wants to be around you."

"For you information, I have a lot of friends Nero. I am perfectly aware of what they mean."

"Having cats does not mean you have friends. That makes you a crazy old cat lady."

"At least I don't wet myself when I see a cat. Why are you so afraid of them anyway? Sprinkles has not done anything to harm you."

"'Done nothing?'" I shrieked. "Are you blind, woman? I have Eric for a witness. Tell her, you big lug, didn't the cat attack me?"

"Hmm?" he drawled. "What are you talking about my darling Nero?" – ah, he's using my own words against me from before – "The cat merely ran past us. If anything, he was more afraid of us, than we were of him."

"See? Even that monstrosity agrees," Maggie nodded triumphantly. "Alliyah, too, the sweet girl."

"Monstrosity?" Eric repeated slowly.

"All you vampires are," Maggie glared.

"He wouldn't drain your blood if you were the last human on Earth. It would be pure poison," I growled furiously. "Humans aren't so special, you know."

Eric took my hand, and for a moment I was confused, but he was squeezing it harshly, and I realized that he meant to shut me up. I had said 'humans', as if I wasn't one myself, and Maggie knew nothing of Reapers. I bit down on my tongue, fighting to stay silent. Maggie watched us suspiciously.

"You are a strange one Nero. Now get out of my damn hallway."

"Your hallway?" I hissed. "Yours?"

Eric clamped a hand over my mouth. "We'll gladly leave. Come along, Nero. We have much to do. Leave the old lady to fester in her own bitterness."

Maggie gasped, opening her mouth to argue with him. He didn't even wait for her to take in some breath, he just lifted me slightly and shoved me in the direction of the stairs. Infuriated, I pounded up those stairs, wishing I could stomp so hard the roof would fall on that bitch Maggie. I swear, the next time I see that cat, I'll rip him to pieces. That is, if I could just get over my fear of cats. Once that was over, I swore to dominate the world and rid it of cats forever. Should I insert an evil laugh here?

"You sure have some interesting neighbours," Eric muttered lowly as we walked into my apartment.

"Hm, peachy. Alliyah?" I called out. No answer. "She's out working, then."

"She won't mind you meeting the Magister?"

"No," I replied in a sing-song voice to mask my lies. Alliyah would mind very much. She had already met him, of course, as Secretary of our Area and on behalf of Grim, and she said the Magister was a very cruel man. Eric raised an eyebrow at me. "Alright, so she'll be a little mad, but where's the fun if she isn't? Besides, I'll leave a detailed note."

"Why don't you just call her?"

"Call her?" I repeated.

"Call her," he said slowly, as if I were dim.

I scowled. "Alliyah is not very good with phones."

"Are you sure it isn't you who is not good with phones, Nero?"

"What makes you say that?"

"I've never seen you use one."

I went to find my jacket, search for my things and get the Hell out of here. "Okay, so I'm not too good with technology. I have a phone. Somewhere. I never use it, though. The buttons drive me crazy."

He snorted. "Do you use computers?"

"Not really."

"I'll have to teach you sometime."

"Oh, I'm so excited," I said sarcastically, finding my jacket and quickly flinging it on.

He smirked. "Do you think Alliyah will be mad with me, Nero?"

"Oh sure she will. In fact, she might just poison you, torture you, stab you."

"That wouldn't exactly kill me though."

"Did I say stab? Silly me, I meant stake. Or wrap you in silver and leave you in the sun to get a nice tan."

He grinned cockily. "I'd like to see her try."

We went back into the hallway, and he watched me as I locked the door with a key and flung it in my bag. "Don't underestimate her, Eric. Alliyah might be sweet, but she is ruthless on the inside."

"Like you, then. Just without the sweetness."

I turned from my door, staring up at him and smirking. "You think I couldn't beat you?"

He snorted, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He bent down, our noses inches apart and smirked. "Now that, I really would like to see, little Nero." He had the audacity to ruffle my hair like I was some kind of pet he was amused by. "There is nothing you could do to get rid of me."

"Oh yeah? Mr Northman, I rescind your invitation."

His eyes widened a fraction, before he growled and went to grab me. An invisible force began dragging him to the front door, and I waved cheerfully. "What was that Eric? Nothing I could do?" Chuckling to myself, I double-checked the door and followed him, knowing I was going to have Hell to pay. Totally worth it though. Eric underestimated Reapers at his peril. Like a little baby, he stood by his car with his arms over his chest and a deep scowl on his face.

"And you say I'm good at throwing tantrums, Eric."

"Get in the car. We still have Pam, Chow and Bill to pick up. He wants to stop at Merlotte's. Say goodbye to his human."

"Get in the car please, oh beautiful Nero? Where are your manners?" I frowned. "And who by the Gods is Chow? Are we picking up your pet dog?"

"Longshadow's replacement."

"I see you mourn quickly."

"He was a traitor, Nero. I do not mourn for traitors."

"Yeah, yeah. Can we pick Bill up first?"

"Why?" he asked as we got into the car.

"He's hilarious, with all the 'I am vampire, fear me Sookie, I shall drink your blood, I am but a monster, I do not have a soul'," I told him, putting on such a good imitation of Bill that Eric actually smiled. He had a nice smile. It was like it was just for me, because he rarely smiled and meant it. I glowed inwardly. Normally, I couldn't give a rat's ass if I made someone smile, but with Eric…it felt nice. And, confusingly, that made me feel…bad.

Being nice to another person was strange. Usually – and this sounds bad, I know – I do it only when I need something. I used to charm rich men because I liked the jewellery they could buy. I was nice to people when I was after something, like a new dress or a place to stay when I was soul-searching. Then, along came Alliyah, and I was nice to her because I wanted her friendship. And I wanted her to like me, as much as I liked her. With Eric, I wanted him to like me too. Why? I don't even know myself.

"Eric?" I asked quietly.

"Hmm?"

"Do you think the Magister will be pleased to see me?"

Eric snorted softly. "Oh, very."

"Alliyah said he was a vicious kind of guy."

"All vampires are 'vicious', Nero. I thought you of all people would know that."

I subconsciously rubbed my Mark, feeling slightly nervous. I hadn't felt nervous almost ten minutes ago as I scribbled a note to my roommate. Eric glanced over at me, before looking back at the road.

"You don't have to come with us, Nero. Not if you have other things to do."

"Not if Alliyah's not around I don't. I have no names on the List either, unless you're willing to forget Bill's mishap and take me bowling," I joked.

He smirked. "Unfortunately I cannot forget what Bill has done. I might take you up on the offer of taking you out, however."

"We can go bowling! I've never been," I said excitedly.

He looked at me lazily, frowning slightly. "Do you really think I'd bring you bowling, Nero? I'm a thousand years old."

"As am I, but I still like having fun. Fine, if you don't want to go, I'll just ask Sookie."

"You're quite close to Sookie, aren't you?"

"Absolutely. Bosom buddies, some would say. I'm waiting for an invitation to hers for a sleepover soon, actually. I hear those are fun."

"Maggie was right, Nero. You really are a strange one."