AHHH! You guys are so awesome. Anonlurker, I am honored to be your first review ever! That means so much to me. Poveromo, your comment made me smile. FallingforWerewolves, yours made me dance because I thought my work with the alternates wasn't great, but you apparently understood. Kimikokawaii, yours was the first comment I read when I woke up, and it made my day. So, here's more virtual love to you all! On with the storyyyy!


Wasted

Here he was, yet again. Izaya found himself in darkness, with his other selves. Psyche was the first to break the drawn out silence.

"Iza-chan...you kissed Shizu-Shizu!" The upbeat voice said. "You kissed him the same as Hibi-chan kissed Deli-chan."

"Indeed! Hypocrisy knows no bounds! You have lost the right to judge the rest of us!" Hibiya stated.

Roppi sat in the back, holding his fingers to his lips, looking lost in thought. Izaya didn't say a word. His eyes were on the floor. They were right, after all. He didn't know why he had kissed Shizuo. He didn't know why he had enjoyed it. He really didn't know why he was still thinking about how good it had felt. He pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned, but said nothing still. He wasn't mad at himself, he was just...confused.

"Izaya. I kissed Tsuki," Roppi stated bluntly, ignoring how Psyche clapped his hands together and how Hibiya's eyebrows rose. Izaya stared at him.

"Aye. I knew you would," Izaya said quietly. "We're all guilty now, ne? Guess you are a part of me after all."

"Does this mean I can kiss Tsu-chan?" Psyche's voice broke in.

"I honestly don't fucking care anymore. Do what you want," Izaya snarled. He was met with a barrage of raised voices.

"Don't be so mean, Iza-chan!" whined Psyche.

"Quit acting so mighty, Orihara!" snapped Hibiya.

"Izaya...you need to listen to Shizuo. You need help," stated Roppi. The original raven was beside himself.

"What I need is some peace and quiet! Every day all I hear about is the brute! It's no wonder he's always on my mind, with how you all go on and on about him! Just give me some damn peace! Please...please..." he sank to his knees, gripping what sanity he had left by holding his head. His alternates sat beside him, all of the ravens succumbing to the silence.


Shizuo was the first to open his eyes. He grunted when he realized he was on the floor. He blinked when he realized it wasn't his floor. He blushed when he remembered whose floor it was.

Sure enough, he had his arms wrapped around the thin informant. Izaya's sleeping face was far from peaceful; it was furrowed like the man was in pain. Frowning, Shizuo began to stroke his hair absentmindedly, trying to ease the discomfort that was ailing his dreams.

He wasn't too surprised by how the night before had turned out. After what had happened with Delic and Hibiya, he knew he had to have that taste in his mouth again. Shizuo knew that it was horribly different from how they normally acted, yet it came so naturally. He knew exactly where to touch the other man. Their mouths had fit together like a puzzle piece. The way Izaya had sucked on his tongue the night before... Shizuo shuddered at the thought.

Here they were, on the floor of the informant's over sized, over expensive apartment, wrapped around each other. The ground was far from comfortable, but the blond was unwilling to move. He didn't want to ruin this moment. As soon as the smaller man woke up, his mask would be back in place. He would drop the subject, and block Shizuo from his troubles. It was surreal, really. Izaya had done a real number on himself, all for the sake of helping a man he claimed to hate. In return, Shizuo was trying to hold both of them together by pushing their personal boundaries, and literally holding their bodies close together.

Every shred of sanity he lost over the years was forgotten when he kissed Izaya. Every time they locked eyes, the blond could see the similar emotions running through the other man's mind. Though the raven would never willingly admit it, this toxic partnership was slowly becoming a dominant part in both of their lives.

Neither of them was good for the other, but now the personalities had somehow mended themselves together, effectively bringing the former enemies together. Shizuo knew that it was only a matter of time before one of them snapped, neither of them being stable. Looking at the sleeping man's face, he had an eerie feeling he knew who was closer to a breakdown. He could see the turmoil on Izaya's face. Sometimes when they spoke, he would notice the raven's eyes glaze over, like he was looking somewhere else.

Shizuo frowned as the man in his arms buried his face in his chest, nuzzling at the warmth. Izaya was mumbling in his sleep

"Nnnn...no. Just a moment's...peace..." he slurred. Shizuo ran his hands through onyx hair, noting how the smaller man moved closer and closer. It was like Izaya was holding onto him for dear life. When garnet eyes opened, they were glossy, dazed. The man didn't quite know where he was. Then, realization came pouring back. For a moment, there was a look of pure terror on his face. A look Shizuo had never seen the man possess. It was quickly replaced by a mask of calmness, as he looked up at the brute.

"Shizu-chan~. How did you sleep, holding me so close?" he purred. Shizuo rolled his eyes at the man's childish antics, but played along.

"I slept fucking great on this hard ass floor," he said in response, earning an impish grin from informant in his arms.

"Mmm. You seemed hard enough yourself," Izaya said bluntly. Lazily, still halfway asleep, he kissed the man above him. It was gentle, nothing like what they had shared the night before, but it said so much more to the brute as he kissed the raven back. They captured each other's lips again and again, bathing in the sunlight that streamed through the large windows of the apartment. Pulling away, Izaya stood up, stretching. He was aware of a certain pair of eyes looking him up and down, but chose not to comment on it.

"I'm off today, Shizu-chan. Namie is on call, but she's not coming here. Are you free as well?" Izaya asked.

"Um..yeah. I think so. Why?"

"I am going to laze about today. I'm extremely tired, as you know. Would you like to waste the day away with me?" God, how Shizuo wanted nothing more. It was a request that wasn't anything special, but it said so much. Izaya didn't want to part ways just yet.

"We're..not doing any sessions, right?" Shizuo asked warily.

"Haha, no. As upset as it will make our alternates, they're not invited today. It's just you and me," the raven said. Just you and me. Those words made Shizuo feel happy and terrified at the same time.

Standing from the ground, he rose to the same level as the informant, towering over the male. He met the gaze directly, before he answered.

"That sounds wonderful." Izaya smiled at his words, and turned to go into his bedroom. When he returned, he had the duvet from his bed, and a few pillows. He arranged the pillows on his large couch, and threw the heavy cover over it. Then, he went to a shelf and removed a rather complicated movie from its cover. Putting it in the DVD player, he turned on the plasma television set and pressed play. He turned to Shizuo.

"Shizu-chan, have a seat." he motioned to the couch as he skipped the previews. The blond went to the couch, moving the duvet as he rested under it. The cover smelled just like Izaya. He was inhaling deeply as he watched the agile man finish fiddling with the player.

Soon, he was joined on the couch by the raven, who comfortably sat almost in his lap. Half his body was on Shizuo's, the other half on the couch. Izaya moved the duvet over both of them as he snuggled against the blond. Shizuo struggled to keep up with the movie. It was some psychological thriller, and very difficult to follow.

Instead, he shifted his gaze to the raven below him. Izaya had his eyes glued to the screen, a very tired expression on his face. Absently, he reached his hand up and placed it on the blond's knee, massaging it gently. Shizuo leaned his head up to the smaller man's ear, speaking into it directly.

"You seem comfortable. I never would have pegged you as the type to watch movies." He nuzzled the ear with his lips. Izaya closed his eyes.

"Ah. I have a television mostly for decoration. I choose not to watch it most of the time. But a plot that's so difficult to follow keeps my mind off of other...things," he whispered quietly. His hand was still on the other man's knee, still moving gently over the clothed skin. Shizuo pulled the informant closer, resting his head on the man's shoulder as he wrapped his arms around his thin frame.

"What are you trying to block out?" he asked. The raven leaned his head back, his cheek against Shizuo's.

"Just things. Nnn, you holding me like this helps much better," Izaya changed the subject. Sighing, Shizuo moved his hands to the informant's shoulders.

"You need to relax. Go to sleep," he growled gently in the other man's ear as he began to rub his shoulders gently.

"So gentle, Shizu-chan. I've never felt your hands use so little power."

"If it hurts, let me know. I've never done this..." Shizuo admitted honestly. Izaya laughed.

"No, Shizu-chan. It feels good. Don't stop just yet." His head grew heavy and leaned backwards into Shizuo's neck.

"Mmmm, I like your hands. I never know what they are capable of."

The brute chuckled, and continued his ministrations, enjoying every noise that escaped the smaller man's lips. He watched with great fascination as the informant began to fall asleep in his arms. The serene look of peace crossed his features, and a final moan exited his mouth before he was gone from the waking world.

Shizuo was vaguely aware of the complicated movie that was playing still. He lifted the small man gently, and pulled him on top of himself as leaned into the pillows Izaya had placed there earlier.

Taking the remote from the coffee table, he turned off the movie and took control of the television, absently flipping through channels before deciding on some old fashioned soap opera. Daytime T.V. really was too much. He found himself drawn into the twisted plot before long.

Every now and then a tiny groan would escape from the informant's mouth, but as long as his eyes remained closed that was all that mattered. Shizuo had begun stroking his fingertips along Izaya's arms, tracing small patterns into the man's skin. He didn't know how much time had passed, he just knew he was getting hungry. Frowning, he tried to devise a way he could move himself up without waking the informant. There didn't seem to be a way around it. If he stayed like this, his stomach growling would wake him anyway.

Gently, he removed himself from the couch, lifting his body and untangling himself from the raven. To his surprise, Izaya did little more than groan at the loss of the warmth. Shizuo covered him, smirking as he buried his face in the pillows.

He walked into the kitchen, and went through the cabinets trying to find something to eat. Settling on some cereal, he frowned at the bland taste. He found a container of sugar, and poured half of it into the bowl. As he ate, he kept his eyes on the screen of the television. Honestly, soap operas were hilarious. He filled the bowl with water when he was finished, and headed back to Izaya's side. Realizing he wouldn't be able to resume his earlier position, he settled his body on top of the sleeping man. Careful to shift his weight, he had his face next to Izaya's.

"Nnn-Shizu-chaaaannnn..." The man mumbled in his slumber. Shizuo stroked his hair, pulling their faces together for a simple kiss. He had realized something over the few days that Izaya had himself holed up in his apartment. The whole goal was to help him get better. Honestly, he felt better. Whenever he was with this man...he felt better than he had in a long time. His therapist was becoming his therapy.

They were both far from sane. They both had characteristics that made most people run away. They both had a disorder that wasn't common. But here, under the duvet with Izaya, none of that fucking mattered. They were complete as they were, and not split apart. They were perfect. Slowly, he joined the information broker in dream world. Their hands somehow clasped together as they slept.


Izaya blinked blearily as he returned to consciousness. The sky was dark now, the streetlights outside were lighting the apartment. Colors danced across the duvet from the brightly lit television screen. His face was inches from Shizuo's, who was sleeping soundly.

The raven sat up slowly, and then stood, heading to the kitchen. His stomach rumbled loudly, he couldn't remember the last time he had eaten. As he opened the fridge, his peace was interrupted yet again.

"Izaya. Are you still denying your feelings for Shizuo?" Roppi's voice asked. Really, he was Izaya's favorite personality to talk to. He spoke calmly, while Psyche would practically yell, and Hibiya would speak so smugly all the raven could think of was hitting him.

"I feel safe," was all Izaya shared on the subject. Usually, whenever one of them would talk, all of them would join. Surprisingly, after he answered Roppi's question, all was quiet.

The raven grinned as he raided his fridge. He decided to make an omelet and some rice. Glancing over at the brute on his couch, he got enough ingredients to make servings for two. He stood in front of his oven, bringing all of the ingredients together. While it cooked, he made a glass of milk and got a bottle of water.

He went to the coffee table, setting the drinks down on the surface. Going back to the stove, he made two plates of the delicious smelling food. He hadn't eaten in so long, he thought he may just inhale the entire plate. He set the now full plates on the table beside the drinks. Crawling on top of Shizuo, he kissed the blond's jaw.

"Shizu-chan~. Wake up. I made you something to eat." Izaya said gently. Shizuo stirred from his slumber, and leaned into the lips against his skin.

"What is it?" he asked gruffly. Izaya giggled.

"Get up and see, silly," he replied. Leaning back, he settled beside the brute. He gripped the plate, and handed it to the tall man as he sat up straight.

"You made me an omelet?" Shizuo blinked in disbelief, looking toward the glass of milk, and back down at the plate of food. Grinning, he dug in, practically eating the entire thing in one bite.

Izaya watched him savor the food, before he ate his own. Sitting back against the cushions together, they settled in a comfortable silence. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Shizuo happily chug the milk. He laughed at the man.

"What?" The blonde turned to him. There was a milk mustache on his upper lip. Izaya smirked, leaning in. He licked the milk from the man's lips, before he delved his tongue into the brute's mouth. Shizuo moaned, and gripped the back of the informant's head, pulling their mouths even closer together.

"Did you enjoy wasting a day with me, Shizu-chan?" Izaya purred. Shizuo growled lowly, reconnecting their lips.

"It wasn't wasted at all," he said simply, enjoying the taste of his therapist.