Ruki woke up again and this time he was greeted with the sound of food cooking. He sat up and saw Tora helping Shou in the kitchen. The guitarist hugged the ashy blonde, making him giggle. To Ruki, they looked so happy and it hurt the singer.

"Stop it." Shou giggled when the taller began tickling him. He turned to get away and then he saw the red head crying.

"Ru?"

Tora turned and watched as his boyfriend went to the other singer.

"What's wrong Ru?" The ashy blonde asked sitting down.

"Hmm?"

Shou wiped the other's eyes, making him see why the singer was worried.

"Nothing. I need to do something." He mumbled, standing up.

"Wait, you should eat."

"I…I need to go."

Shou tried to stop him, but he pushed past the singer and stumbled to his shoes where he fell.

"Ru!" The ashy blonde shouted. He ran over to help the red head, but was pushed away and he watched as the other slipped his shoes on. "Please Ruki, wait."

"I have to go." Ruki muttered, getting to his feet. He ran out the door leaving the other behind worried.

~~At Saga's~~

Uruha was sitting on the couch as the brunette cooked them some breakfast. Many things have been running through his head since Saga's confession.

'I've been trying so hard to make Reita happy and in the end, he hated me. I made everybody suffer. Why should I be happy? Trying to be happy, causes everyone else to be in so much pain. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve to be loved.'

"Hey." Saga caught his attention. "It's done."

Uruha smiled and walked to the table with the other. He started eating in silence and after a few minutes he looked up to find the bassist playing with egg he made. He was staring at his plate and it looked like he was about to cry.

"Saga."

The brunette looked up at him.

"It's not that I don't want to go out with you. It's just, everything is very complicated right now."

"I-I can help you out. Please, just one date. Give me a chance."

Uruha sighed. "I…"

~~Reita's~~

The blonde sighed, plopping down on his bed. He slipped his hand in his boxers to scratch himself while debating going back to sleep or taking a shower. He sighed as he finally got up and got his clothes ready before stepping into the bathroom. He turned the water on and waited for it to get hot before slipping in. He moaned as the water warmed him up and then he started washing his hair. After he was out of the shower, he wrapped a towel around himself, made some coffee and sat down on the couch. He flipped through the channels on the tv and found something to watch. He sighed.

"No practice. Means I won't see Ruki today. Him and Aoi are probably spending the day together."

He shook his head and continued sipping his coffee as he watched his favorite show. After that and several other shows, he decided he should clean up his apartment.

"But first, I need to put some clothes on." He muttered walking to his room, but then someone started knocking on his door. Aggravated that they didn't call first, he slowly walked to his room. Took his time picking something to wear and changing into it. He walked back out to hear the knocking continue, so he opened the door to find Ruki with his head down.

"Ru, what are you doing here?"

The red head didn't answer.

"Ru?" The blonde reached out for him, but the singer slapped his hand away and hugged him. "Um… Ru?"

"You." He whispered. "I choose you."

Reita gasped. "Y-you mean to go out with?"

The singer shook his head making the other smile. He hugged Ruki tightly.

"Thank you."

~~Aoi's~~

Kai stared at the other in shock. "What?"

"I raped him. Uruha told me that he was using me and I got so mad. I couldn't control my anger. It was right before he fell off Uruha's balcony. I…I didn't mean to. I stopped after a few minutes. I tried to apologize, but he ran out. I felt worse than scum and when you told me that he fell, I couldn't breathe. I was so scared. Now, last night when I offered him my bed, he flipped out. He slapped me. I told him that it would be best if he wasn't around me. I told him to be Reita. He deserves to be happy. He doesn't deserve to be raped or be around his rapist every day. Reita can protect him, give him the love he deserves and treat him they way he should be treated."

The drummer looked straight in his friend's eyes. He saw the regret, the guilt, the pain and the sadness. He saw how bad of shape the raven was in. "Killing yourself will not make anything better. You will hurt Ruki more than anything if you do this. He seems to have forgiven you Aoi. I mean, he went on a date with you. He gave you another chance and it's not like you completely blew it. You were thinking of his feelings more than your own. You love him and you just need to get him to see that. To see that you regret hurting him and want another chance."

"But he loves Reita and I told him to be with him."

Kai felt pain in his heart. "You know, Miyavi raped me."

Aoi's eyes shot up.

"He raped me so many times and I let him get away with it. I thought, 'this is better than nothing'. I didn't have a lover and I thought I wouldn't have one, but then Reita saved me one night. We had become close because he would share with me about how he liked Ruki over the years. Then we suddenly clicked and I was so happy because I felt loved for once in my life. Then Uruha told us everything and Reita went back to loving Ru. It hurt so much because that morning, he had asked me to officially go out with him. I wanted to, but his happiness came first. Then a few days ago Miyavi showed up again and he was nicer. I decided to give him another chance. Last night, he wanted to have sex and I was about to, but then Reita popped into my head and I couldn't do it. I told him I wanted more. He called me a bitch and raped me again. I can't believe I gave him a second chance. I know you. You are not a rapist. You will never do that to him again. I know that you love him with all your heart. You need to prove that and I'll help you."

"Are you doing this just so you can get with Rei?"

Kai smiled. "No. Reita doesn't love me. Like I said nobody loves me. I see the love you have for Ruki and it's very strong. I will help to get him to see that love. He may not go out with you, but he'll definitely forgive you."

The raven's eye fell back down. "What if he doesn't? I won't be able to live with myself."

The drummer sighed. "You have to take a chance."

Aoi shook his head. "I know you want to help, but if you're right, then I need to face him alone."

~~Reita's~~

"So, you're sure about this?" The blonde asked, handing a cup of tea over. He sat beside the red head on the couch.

"Yes."Ruki whispered.

"Have you told anybody yet?"

The singer shook his head no.

"Then I guess we'll tell them together tomorrow." He said, but Ruki kept his gaze down as he shook his head. "What's wrong Ru? You seem upset about something."

The red head looked up with a sad smile. "It's nothing. Just a small headache. My stomach hasn't been feeling all that well today either."

"Do you need to go to the hospital?"

"No. The doctor said that it would happen."

Reita shook his head. "Have you taken any medicine for it?"

"No."

The blonde stood up and walked out, leaving the shorter man alone. 'Shou said it wasn't a dream. Aoi keeps apologizing and saying he won't do anything again. Was it real? Did that gentle man do that to me? How could have? He loves me. He said it himself.'

'I told them everything.' Uruha's confession flashed through his head.

'Uruha. That's right. Uruha told Aoi and that's why he was angry. He…he did do it. He did…but he stopped in the middle. He was…crying and saying sorry. I was scared and I ran home, then to Uru's, where…I fell.'

"Here's some Tylenol." Reita broke his thoughts. The singer took the two pills and drunk them down with the tea.

"Thanks."

The blonde smiled. "So you want to take a nap?"

"No. Can we just watch some movies please?"

"Sure, but have you ate yet?"

"No."

"Let's get you some food and then we'll watch something. Ok?"

Ruki smiled. "Ok. Thank you."

~~At Saga's~~

The bassist washed the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen as Uruha relaxed on the couch. When he was done, he walked to the living room and sat down beside the honey blonde.

"I don't have practice today."

Saga smiled. "So…"

"No. Not today. I have a few things to do. Tomorrow we need to practice, the day after that we start recording. That day, it's just Kai and Reita. We can go then."

The brunette smiled. "We have a photo shoot the day after tomorrow. How about the day after that?"

"That's my day to record. The last day is Ruki's. We could then."

Saga smiled. "Alright. Where do you want to go?"

"You're taking me. Surprise me."

The other laughed. "Alright then. What time can I pick you up?"

Uruha smiled. "Anytime as long as it's after nine o' clock."

"Then it's a date."

The guitarist smiled bigger and bobbed his head. "I guess I should head home."

"Ok. Be safe."

The honey blonde got his shoes on and headed home.

He walked in and took a deep breath. He's felt better today than the past month and it made him smile. He felt happy. He quickly took a shower and started cleaning his apartment. He went out to pay some bills, look at some guitars, then grocery shopped and came back home. He felt like he was a good boy today, so he decided to take a long relaxing bath. He got into the bathroom, started filling the bathtub and got undressed. Before he could move though, he looked at himself in the mirror. He was covered in hickies and scratches. He blushed remembering the night before. He closed his eyes as he rubbed his chest, remembering Saga's warm hand on it and on the rest of his body. He leaned against the wall as the memory got more vivid and he started stroking himself. He threw his head back, remembering the brunette's lips on his neck, his chest, his cock and it made him hard. He sucked on his fingers, then moved them down to his backside and fantasized Saga entering him. He moaned out and leaned on the sink. He thrusted his fingers and stroked his cock faster. His eyes squeezed shut, picturing Saga behind him, fucking his brains out. He felt the warmth the brunette gave him, he loved it, he wanted more of it.

"Saga!" He yelped as he shot his seeds on the sink. He rammed his fingers harder, but he soon realized that he wouldn't feel the sensation Saga gave him. He sighed and pulled his fingers out. He felt so warm and wet especially his feet. He hummed and looked down to see water over his toes.

"Shit!" He shouted turning the faucet on the tub off. He looked at the giant puddle on his bathroom floor, but he giggled and blushed. He shrugged his shoulders and stepped into the tub, making it overflow more.

"Reita's never made me lose my mind like that."He mumbled. He smiled, thinking of only one person.

~~Reita's~~

The couple had remained on the couch all day, watching movie after movie. Reita kept his arm around the red head and kept him close. Ruki didn't mind it, but he felt weird.

"It's getting late. Do you want to stay the night?"

The singer looked up and smiled. "Sure."

"I'm tired and you looked tired. Shall we?"

Ruki shook his head and they got up. He headed to the bedroom as the blonde turned everything off, then he headed back too. He gave Ruki some clothes to wear, then they laid down. Reita pulled the singer close and held him in his arms as he fell asleep. Ruki sighed. He stared at the blonde's chest for hours. It didn't feel the same. Sure he felt the other's warmth, but it wasn't the same. He didn't feel protected, calm, or at peace.

"What does this mean?"

~~The next day~~

Kai was first to arrive, so he started setting up the studio. He wanted to get straight to practice when everybody got here. They needed to concentrate the next few days since they start recording tomorrow. He was setting up the microphone when somebody slapped his ass and squeezed it.

"Working hard I see."

Kai shook as he heard Miyavi's voice. "Get out. You have no business being in here."

"I think I do." He giggled, squeezing harder.

"Hey Kai."

The drummer turned and saw Uruha walking in. He looked around and saw that nobody was there. 'Just my imagination.' He shook at the thought.

"You ok?" The honey blonde asked.

Kai smiled. "I'm fine, just trying to get everything ready."

"I'll help you then."

The both of them quickly got everything sat up and soon Reita and Ruki were holding hands as they walked in. Kai and Uruha stared at them for a moment, but before they could say anything, Aoi walked in and saw it.

"So you chose Rei?"

The couple turned to find the raven standing there, looking at them with red eyes.

Ruki looked at the ground. "Yes."

The guitarist smiled. "Good. I'm happy for you."

The bassist smiled at Aoi, silently thanking him.

"Let's get started." Kai announced.

~~Later that day~~

Kai called break. Reita grabbed Ruki's hand and started walking out together.

"Ruki." Aoi called.

"What is it?" The red head asked as he turned.

"Can I talk to you alone please?"

Reita glared at him. "Why?"

"I just need to tell him something…private."

"That's fine." Ruki said. He looked up at Reita. "Just give us a minute."

"Ok." Reita said. He kissed Ruki's forehead, then moved lower. "Can I?"

The singer shook his head, so the blonde captured his lips before slipping his tongue in. Ruki nervously kissed back, but remembered the raven standing there, so he pulled away. He turned and saw Aoi looking at the floor.

"Let's go." Ruki mumbled, breaking away from Reita. He lead the guitarist back to the studio. "What is it?"

"I'm sorry for everything."

"Aoi—"

"Listen. When we first started our relationship, I had my doubts. To be honest, I guess I was the one using you to make myself feel better. As it went on though, I started feeling protective of you and jealous whenever you said another man's name. I heard you cry every morning in the shower. I wanted to help, but I didn't know how. I told myself that I would make you happy. Then Uruha told me that lie and I was truly blinded by rage. I didn't mean to do that to you that night. I didn't mean to rape you."

"What?"

They turned and saw Reita standing at the doorway.

"Rei!" Ruki shouted in annoyance.

"You raped him?"

"No!" The singer shouted, tears started forming in his eyes.

Aoi sighed. "I did. I let my anger get the better of me. That's why he got hurt. That's why he fell off Uru's balcony."

"No!" The singer shouted

"You bastard!" Reita screamed as he tackled the raven to the ground. He sat up and started punching the guitarist. Aoi took the hits.

"Reita Stop!" Ruki screamed. The raven looked over and saw how scared the singer was. His body filled with rage and he started punching back. A lucky blow knocked Reita off him, but as he sat up, the blonde tackled him again. They started rolling as they punched each other over and over. Ruki shook as he grabbed his phone and called the first person on his list.

"Hello?" Kai answered.

"Kai they're fighting!" He cried. "You have to stop them!"

"Hang on, we'll be there in a minute." The drummer hung up and the red head watched in horror as his two band mates continued to beat each other to a pulp. Soon, Kai and Uruha were running through the door to see the commotion. The honey blonde pulled Ruki into a hug to hide his view of the fight.

"Knock it off!" Kai yelled as he ran over to them. When they ignored him, he grabbed Reita's arm, but the blonde pushed him away before landing another punch on Aoi. The raven punched back, rolled on top of him, and started punching him. Kai grunted as he grabbed the raven's arm and pulled him off. Reita jumped to his feet to attack again only to get stopped by the drummer, but he pushed the brunette back and lunged for the raven as he was getting up. Ruki broke away from the honey blonde.

"Stop it!" He screamed with all his might, stopping the two men. "If…if this is how you two are going to act, then I don't want to go out with either one of you!"

"Ru." Uruha whispered. The singer turned and ran out of the room.

"Ruki!" Reita shouted as he jumped to his feet. He started towards the door, but was stopped by Kai.

"No. He needs to be alone."

"Stay out of my way!" He yelled, slapping the brunette. The drummer fell to the floor and grabbed his cheek as he looked up at the blonde. Reita gasped when he saw Kai looking up at him with teary eyes, but he shook his head and ran out after the red head.

Ruki gasped for air through his cries as he slowed to a walk, then to a stop. He cried in his hands, not caring who saw or who cared.

"Are you ok Ru?"

The red head looked up to find Hiroto looking at him with concerned eyes and Byou standing behind him.

"Ruki!"

He turned to see Reita running up to them.

"Leave me alone!"

"Ru!"

"Please leave me alone!" The singer cried trying to run away, but Reita grabbed his casted wrist.

"Talk to me Ru."

"Leave me alone, please!"

"Ruki."

"Hey," Hiroto grabbed the blonde's arm. "He said to leave him alone."

"Stay out of this." The bassist ordered.

"You're hurting me!" The singer shouted.

"Let go of him!" Hiroto pushed Reita back, making him lose his grip. Byou pulled the singer behind him and glared at the bassist.

"Please, Rei…please leave me alone." Ruki whimpered. The blonde backed off and started walking away.

"Come on, let's get you calmed down." Hiroto said softly. They lead him to the Alice Nine studio, but he stopped walking and gripped his head.

"Ru, are you ok?" The blonde singer asked.

Hiroto stepped forward. "What's wrong?"

Ruki whimpered before stumbling to the trashcan by the door and puked in it.

"Shit." The guitarist muttered. The singer started crying as he gripped his head in pain and fell to his knees.

"Ruki!"The brunette's voice was muffled to the red head. He felt a hand on his shoulder, but when he turned to see who it was, he just saw a blur. His eyes closed as he fell to the floor. "Oh god, Byou call an ambulance!"