Chapter 11: Resistance
BPOV
"Please say something," I begged.
I couldn't take the awkward silence. Seth fell asleep on the drive home, and Edward hadn't really said anything since we left Charlie's. After putting my son to bed, I came downstairs to find him laying fully clothed on top of ours. I knew him well enough to know something was seriously bothering him but until he opened up about it, I had no idea how to fix the problem.
"What do you want me to say, babe?" he asked. Slurred, really.
I began to get ready for bed. He made no move to do the same.
"Tell me what happened."
I wasn't an idiot. I knew I should have never left him alone with my dad. I still didn't know what Charlie said, but I sure as hell intended on finding out.
I barely heard him mumble, "I should have pulled the trigger when I had a chance."
I sought a tank top and sleep shorts from the top drawer of my dresser as his words replayed over and over again in my head. I had no idea what he was talking about, or how he expected me to respond. "Please tell me that's some sort of a sick metaphor," I finally said.
"Yeah, sure," he mumbled, finally sitting up to untying his shoes, "Whatever you say, babe."
"Stop calling me that!" I snapped, slamming my top dresser drawer shut.
Usually, I loved Edward's terms of endearment. Tonight, I hated his tone.
"Fine, Bella," he corrected, "Or would you rather me call you Bells?"
"I'd rather you tell me what's bothering you."
I began to change, taking off my shirt and bra. He took off his own shirt and threw it across the room. "Your dad fucking hates me! I'm never going to be good enough and I'm not sure why I even thought I could try. Sometimes I think I should give up while I'm ahead."
I pulled the tank top over my head. "You're scaring me."
"You're the only reason I'm alive right now," he confessed, burying his face in his hands and pulling his hair.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
If he continued to reply with cryptic remarks, I was going to scream.
"I almost killed myself the night you told me you were moving."
Silence.
"W-what?" I finally forced out. What was I supposed to say to that?
"I was home alone. Jasper was off fucking some whore and I couldn't get past the fact that I was going to lose you. I went through his shit, found a gun, put it to my head and closed my eyes. You know how they say your life flashes before you when you're about to die? It does.
"Unfortunately, you are my life. And Seth. And as hard as I tried, as loud as my brain screamed at my finger to pull the trigger, my goddamn heart wouldn't let me follow through. I came back to spend the night because I knew if I didn't, I might change my mind. I had nothing to lose."
"Edward," I cried, "How could you even think that?"
"I'm a fuck up, Bella. You know it's true. You didn't even deem me worthy enough to give my first born son my last name."
"Edward, that's bull shit."
Tears streamed down his face. "Just say it. We both know it's true!"
"Say what?"
"Tell me you hate me for fucking up your life," he demanded, "Tell me I'm a worthless father and a horrible person. Tell me you regret it!"
"You can't be serious."
"It'll make it easier for both of us in the long run."
The more Edward spoke, the more my fear and concern transformed into rage. Finally, I snapped. "Fine. I'll tell you. I regret not being able to go to a real college. I'm ashamed of the fact that I became an unwed mother at 19 and I hate knowing I had to live with my father for the first two years of Seth's life because I was too young to support myself. I'll never, ever forgive myself for allowing my body to be put under so much stress while I was pregnant with our son; stress that undoubtedly almost cost him his life and continues to haunt him to this day. Do you want to know what else I regret?"
"It's not hard to guess," he mumbled.
"I don't regret going to the beach. I don't regret going home with you. Hell, I didn't even take the fucking pills you gave me. I'm glad I gave you my virginity and I love our son, so much. All of those regrets... and I can't seem to get past insulting both you and your entire family because I didn't allow Seth to be a Cullen. I was selfish, Edward! I did it because I felt entitled to him. Not once did I consider the possibility that he might grow up to think his father didn't love him!" I screamed, "And it had nothing to do with being ashamed of his father!"
Edward flew off the bed and pulled me into my arms.
"Bella, keep your voice down," he soothed, "He said that? He thinks I don't love him?"
I sobbed, "I don't know. The night I went out with Jake, Seth told me if you did you would have let him have your name. I never realized he'd blame you. I'm so sorry."
Edward cried, "I'm a terrible father."
"No. You are not a terrible father. He loves you. I love you."
"I love you, too. More than anything."
"Please just tell me what brought all this on," I begged, "What did my dad say to you?"
His body went rigid. "Bella, seriously. Don't worry about it. It's not a big deal. I'll get over it."
I argued, "But it's a big deal to me."
"I don't care."
"It can't be any worse than what I've already heard."
He was practically seething again. "Your dad asked his buddy, Jake, if he'd gone on any more dates with you. When he said he hadn't, Charlie told him not to give up. He said it right in front of my son, Bella! Right in front of me!"
I was livid. Charlie had no right. I knew he hated Edward, but to treat him as if he didn't exist was beyond low. And knowing he said those things in front of our five year old... it took everything in my power not to storm across town and give him a piece of my mind.
I could think of much more satisfying ways to vent my frustration.
I pressed my lips to his cheek.. It was still wet with salty tears. "Edward, I'm yours. You know that."
Ignoring me, he continued, "He asked Jake if he'd at least gotten a few kisses out of you. It made me so mad, Bella. I know we weren't together but I can't stand the thought of you being with someone else. It kills me."
My lips drifted to his, lingering momentarily. "If it makes you feel any better, you're a much better kisser."
He gave me another small peck before continuing. "I know Charlie was just trying to mess with my head. And then Seth tried to tell him the only person you're allowed to kiss is me-"
I cut him off. "He said that?"
"I'm so fucking proud of him, babe. He tries so damn hard to protect you. But when he started to tell Charlie about walking in on us last night, I had to step in."
"Oh my God," I gasped. "He didn't."
I bit my lip. It's not like what we were doing was that bad, but it definitely wasn't something I wanted my baby to see. If he had been a few minutes later, we would have had a major problem on our hands. I'd rather put off the sex talks for as long as humanly possible. When the time came, I would make Edward deal with it.
We laughed, but it did nothing to ease his tension. I knew he wasn't telling me everything.
I led him back over to our bed and we sat down. "What's really bothering you?"
Edward sighed as he ran his hand through his hair. It was shorter now than it had been when we were younger, but he still messed with it when he was nervous. He kept his eyes on the comforter. "He said next time you come home and tell him you're pregnant, you better have a ring on your finger. And it better not be mine."
I gasped. "Please, please, tell me Seth didn't hear him say that."
His eyes only met mine for a split second before looking back down. "No, it was after I sent Seth inside."
I did my best to comfort him. "Edward, you shouldn't let that bother you."
He pulled away and his voice went cold. "You're probably right. It's not like you'd ever want to marry me anyway, much less have another kid with my worthless ass."
God. Just as I thought we were making progress, he had to say something like that. I wanted to scream at him for being so ridiculous. Of course I wanted to marry him; I never imagined myself with anyone else. I also fully intended on making him a father again when we were ready. I didn't expect it to happen any time in the near future, but I missed having a baby and was more than willing to go through the entire experience over again with him. I was an only child, and I didn't want the same to hold true for Seth.
How was I supposed to tell him that? The first time I'd told him I was pregnant, he had a minor melt down. I'd forgiven, but I hadn't forgotten. I didn't even want to broach the subject until he brought it up.
Wasn't that what he was doing now?
"Edward," I began.
He stood up. "Don't."
Unstoppable tears began to stream down my face. While I had been crying earlier, now I was outright wailing. Edward grabbed his shirt off the floor. I expected him to put it back on so he could leave. He didn't. Instead, he walked back over to me and began drying my face. He begged me to stop and held my body tight against his. I pleaded with him not to leave.
"Shh, Bella," he soothed, "I'm not leaving you. I love you."
I sniveled, "But you want to kill yourself. You told me you wish you'd pulled the trigger."
"I didn't mean it, babe. I was upset. I'm so glad I didn't. You and Seth are my life, and I'm not ready for that to end yet."
I sniffed. "Good. Me too. I still want to marry you and have more babies."
He pulled back again. Oh, shit, I thought, Was that the wrong thing to say?
"You do?"
I could have lied, but an overwhelming need to be honest with him overcame me. "Of course I do! Have you met our son? He's fucking awesome and adorable and he acts exactly like his daddy! Why wouldn't I want twenty more exactly like him?"
Edward smiled, and this time it was genuine. "Twenty more? Uh, Bella... I don't think I can handle that many cock blockers. Last night was hard enough."
He had a point. "Okay, so maybe you're right. But two more?"
"Two more," he added, "As long as they're boys."
I snorted, "Edward! We don't get to pick!"
It seemed like Edward's buzz was finally starting to wear down. Thank fucking God. I loved the man, but he was not a happy drunk. I knew we still had a lot to talk about, but I was reluctant to interfere with our happy moment. The last thing I needed was for Edward to go off the deep end again.
He definitely needed some sort of therapy. His thoughts weren't healthy and I didn't want to be the only thing keeping him together. I couldn't fix him on my own. If something ever happened between the two of us, I still needed him to be a father to Seth and whomever else I'd eventually squeeze out of my hoohah.
I wanted to forget about everything he told me, even if just for a couple of hours. We could talk about it in the morning when his head was clear.
I wiped the remaining tears off my face.
"Want to practice?" he asked.
"Practice?"
"Is the door locked?"
I laughed, "Yes. I don't like making the same mistake twice."
"Good, me either."
Before I could say anything else, the weight of Edward's body pressed firmly against mine and coerced me onto my back.
His kisses were rushed and sloppy. Even still, I loved every one of them. The taste of beer lingered on his lips, and I realized he must have smoked a cigarette or two while I was putting Seth to bed. As his hands ravaged my body, I helped him remove the tank top I'd changed into only minutes before. I loved the feeling of Edward's skin on mine. The bulge pressed against my thigh led me to assume the feeling was definitely mutual.
"Get a condom," he mumbled against my skin.
I thought about it. I really did. My shirt was already off and I didn't want him to think I was a tease. Had Edward been sober, I would have happily complied. He wasn't.
"Edward, you haven't had sex in six years. Don't you want to be sober for it?"
"No. I want you. Now, baby."
As much as I knew it was true, I also knew it would come back to haunt him in the morning.
"No."
He groaned, "Why?"
"You're drunk. I don't want to feel like some sort of perv, stealing your virtue."
"Bella, don't be ridiculous. I'm not that drunk. And besides, the little boy upstairs is more than enough evidence that I'm virtueless. I've been jacking off to the thought of you since high school. I want the real thing."
God... It shouldn't turn me on, but it did.
"Which is exactly why we're waiting," I explained, "It's been a long time for both of us and I want it to be special. So, let's stick to... other things."
He raised his eyebrow. "Blow job?"
I smiled back at him playfully. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?"
He rolled onto his back, pulling my body on top of his. Edward wore a pair of khaki cargo shorts, and I wasted no time popping the button and unzipping his fly. His erection was prominent against his loose fitting boxers. I kissed him through the fabric and pulled it low. He sprang free, and I didn't think I'd ever get used to the sight of seeing Edward's manhood. I fantasized about him thrusting into me and kicked myself for not allowing him to take me tonight. I told myself I was doing the right thing by waiting, but that didn't mean I was happy about it.
I kissed the shaft of his penis, trailing my tongue to the tip and placing another opened mouth kiss against it. He groaned and muttered something about not knowing where to put his hands, which I thought was weird because they seemed fine in my hair. I told him so. Edward began to guide my head up and down and I took as much of him in as I could. I felt inadequate knowing I couldn't take him in as deep as he probably wanted it, but his incessant moans assured me that I was at least doing something right.
After a few minutes of sucking and swirling, Edward's hips began to buckle. "Baby, I'm gonna come," He warned. I looked up at him and noticed he was looking down at me. I hoped the eye contact between us would signal that I fully acknowledged his warning and intended to swallow everything he had for me. Based on Alice's experiences, I knew guys loved it when a girl swallowed.
The hot liquid hit the back of my throat as Edward continued to verbalize his release. I loved every second of it. There was truly nothing like making him feel good.
Edward tried to return the favor, but I refused. I didn't do it so he could reciprocate. I did it because I wanted to; because I loved my man and I wanted to show him in every way possible. I got up to turn off the light and opted to leave the door locked. If Seth needed something, he could knock.
No longer distracted, the severity of Edward's confession came rushing back to me. He tried to kill himself. He wanted to die. Knowing now what inevitably would have happened if I turned him away that first night, I needed the comfort of his embrace more in that moment than I ever had before.
"Hold me," I begged, "Please don't let go."
"I've got you, Bella. I'm not going anywhere. I love you."
Sunday morning, I awoke to Edward's alarm. True to his word, we opened our eyes to the same position we'd fallen asleep in, with my head resting on Edward's shoulder. He cursed the noise, while I praised the fact that I didn't have to go to work today. Seth wouldn't be up for another couple of hours, and I still had time for more sleep.
As Edward came to, it didn't take long for the events of last night to come back to him. Without saying a word, he made his way into the bathroom. I rolled over to his side of the bed, reveling in the way Edward's presence made me feel complete. A minute later, he crawled back into bed.
"Bella," he whispered. "I'm really sorry about last night."
I chose to ignore the heavy for now. "It's okay, Edward. You're kind of horny when you're drunk. I like it."
He groaned. "Bella, I shouldn't have pressured you to do that. You could have said no. You know that, right? I might have acted like an ass about it, but I always want you to be able to tell me to stop. Fuck. Just thinking about it makes my chest seize up. I've had six years to dwell on hurting you. I should have known better."
Edward could be so dramatic sometimes. It frustrated me to no end. I was ten times more worried about why he got drunk in the first place, and not his behavior after the fact. My drunk boyfriend asked me to have sex. I didn't see what the big deal was; most men didn't even need to get hammered to be so bold.
"You know what? I think I like drunk Edward better. I trust you. I know if I tell you no, you'll listen."
"I'd like to hope so."
I teased, "Besides, you have much more stamina when you're wasted."
I laughed. He tried not to. "Oh, Bella. You shouldn't have said that."
He began to tickle me, causing my body to flail around like some sort of fish out of water. Edward knew all of my weak spots and took no remorse. I begged for him to stop, but he showed no mercy. "You should know better than to tease a man about his stamina. You'll eat those words, baby."
"If you stop tickling me, I'll do it now!" I offered, seeing an end in sight.
He stopped abruptly. "Don't tempt me, gorgeous. I need to get ready for work. Besides, I have a headache."
"I know. But all joking aside, I love you Edward."
"I love you too, sweetheart. I'm going to go take a shower, okay? Get some more sleep. You're kind of beautiful when you're in my bed."
"My bed," I smiled.
"Yeah, uh-huh. Whatever you say, babe."
I was still awake by the time Edward finished with his shower. I couldn't sleep; not after my mind began to dwell on his words from last night. This morning, Edward acted as if he'd never confessed his thwarted attempt at suicide. He knew better than to believe I'd forgotten it and I assumed he was only ignoring his problems in hopes that they'd go away.
I rolled out of bed, grabbing my discarded tank top off the floor and throwing it back on before heading into the bathroom to talk to Edward as he shaved.
"Hey, babe. Do you need in here?" he asked.
"Uh, no. Just kind of wanted to talk to you before you left."
He made attempts to distract me. "Okay. What are you and Seth going to do today?"
"I don't know. Hang out with Alice? Look, Edward," I hesitated, "I need to talk to you about what you said last night."
His eyes bore into mine. "Baby, don't worry about it."
"See, here's the thing. I can't not worry about it. I think you need to see someone about your issues."
"I am seeing someone. She's amazing and I'm happier now than I've ever been."
"I don't count," I argued, "And besides, I still can't seem to convince you that you're good enough."
"Bella, seriously? You think I should go see some shrink about my self worth? I highly doubt it's going to change. Just let me be happy, baby. I've kept it from myself for so long, and even though it's my own fault, I just want to enjoy my life for once."
"See! That's what I mean. 'Even though it's my own fault.' I'll even go with you if that's what it'll take. Please."
We were quiet for a few seconds as Edward took a final swipe of the blade against his chin and rinsed his face. He reluctantly looked at me as I pleaded with my eyes. "I'll think about it, okay? Go back to bed, sweetheart."
I did as he said, knowing I would have to accept his answer for now. Edward finished getting dressed and told me he loved me before heading to work. I eventually drifted back to sleep, only to wake up an hour later as Seth crawled into bed with me.
"Good morning," I smiled.
"Hi, Mommy," he sleepily greeted before going into a coughing fit.
"You need a breathing treatment," I rolled over to mess with his nebulizer on my night stand, handing him the mouthpiece and flipping it on.
He groaned, but made no arguments. I sat up, allowing him to snuggle close to me as he inhaled the mist.
I kissed his messy hair. "I love you."
He stopped momentarily to give me a kiss on the cheek. "I love you too, mommy."
"Dad loves you too," I continued. "He told me last night how proud he is of you."
"And you love Dad?" he asked.
"Yes, I do. He helped me make you. I... just wish you didn't have to grow up so fast. I mean, you're already in kindergarten! Before I know it, you'll be going on dates and asking to borrow the car. It seems like I just brought you home to Grandpa Charlie's house yesterday. You were so tiny. I thought I was going to break you."
"I wasn't that small," he argued.
"When Aunt Rose has her baby, I'll take you up to the hospital so you can see how small little babies really are."
"Okay," he smiled, bringing his mouth back to the medicine.
"You know," I hesitated, unsure of how to continue. "You're getting old enough to make some of your own decisions."
"I am? Can I have pizza for breakfast then?"
I laughed, "Not like that, silly. I mean... Say, like, your last name. What if you didn't want it to be Swan? What if you wanted it to be Cullen?"
"I can do that? Did daddy say it was okay?"
"Seth, nothing would make your father happier than if you had his last name. But once you change it, you can't go back. You need to think really hard about it. Just remember that we'll both love you no matter what you pick."
"Are you going to change your name too?"
"Uh, it's not that easy for me, baby," I tried to explain, "Your Daddy has to ask me first. But if you want to go ahead and change yours, I promise it won't hurt my feelings."
"I want daddy's name," he decided almost immediately.
My heart did a little back flip. Edward was going to be so excited. "I want you to have daddy's name, too. He's going to be so happy, Seth Tyler Cullen."
I'd been reading up on name changes online. I knew getting Seth's changed wouldn't be a major ordeal, but it would be somewhat of an annoyance. Shortly after Seth was born, Edward and I added his name onto the birth certificate. To change my son's name, I didn't need any sort of parental affidavits but I did need Edward's permission. As if he'd say no. I couldn't wait to tell Edward and intended on doing so before calling a lawyer in the morning. I wished I would have just given him Edward's last name in the first place, but I couldn't change the past.
A little later, Alice called to badger me about rescheduling our shopping trip. She knew I couldn't make excuses. Edward was working and it wasn't like I had anything better to do. As much as I hated shopping, I jumped at the opportunity to spend some time with my best friend. Knowing she would want details on Edward and me, I called Esme to see if she wanted her grandson for the day. She told me Carlisle was off, and they'd be happy to have him.
I got ready for the day as the sounds of Elliott Smith's Figure 8 echoed through my bedroom. My CD player broke months ago, but at least Edward's damn xBox was good for something. I packed up the nebulizer and we headed out.
"Okay, Bella," Alice began as soon as we got on the road. "I'm dying over here. I need some updates. Have you and Edward done the nasty yet?"
I bit my lip. I knew this was coming, but that didn't mean I was prepared to answer. I wasn't used to being the one to talk about my sex life, not that there was ever anything to say. "No, we haven't."
"Oh my God! What are you guys waiting for? Poor guy."
I gave her a puzzled look. She did realize she was talking about Edward, right?
"Um, Ali. Shouldn't you be telling me to break up with him or something?"
"Ugh, Bella! This is kind of a big deal. I mean, you've never had a boyfriend before and now you're living with one! As much as I hate him, because trust me, I do, I can't let an opportunity like this go to waste. I want the details! And we need to buy you something sexy."
"Fine. Okay," I braced myself, "So, I've gone down on him. Twice."
"Oh my God! It's like a train wreck. I can't look the other way. Did you swallow? Is he as big as you remembered?"
"Wow, Alice. You really don't hold back. Um, yes," I vaguely replied.
"Did he return the favor?"
"Actually, I was the one returning it. It was sweet. He gave me this big speech about how much he loved me, and how he always wanted to make sure I got mine first... And then he made good on his promise. Of course, he broke it last night but you know, whatever. It's the thought that counts."
"Wait, what happened last night?"
I proceeded to tell Alice about last night; about our visit to Charlie and the drinking Edward had done to endure it. I omitted his confessions, instead dwelling on Edward's persistence to get laid and the dirty details of the blow job.
"Wow. So, tonight then?"
"I mean, I don't know. It's not something that can really be planned ahead a time. First we didn't have protection and then I got the flu. We came close on Friday night, but the door wasn't locked and Seth walked in."
"Seth walked in?" She laughed. Uncontrollably. "What did he see?"
"Apparently he saw Edward and I making out. And he proceeded to tell my dad about it."
"Damn. I would have killed to see their faces."
I didn't know who I felt worse for- Edward or my dad. Probably Edward; because I was still pretty pissed at Charlie. "Me too," I agreed.
With Seth spending the day at his grandparents', Alice and I opted to shop in Seattle instead of Port Angeles. It was further away, but the stores were better. The drive took about three hours, but it wasn't like we had anything better to do. It was nice to catch up with my friend, especially without little ears to overhear.
"Okay, so, lingerie," Alice began as we made our way into Victoria's Secret. "Do you know what he likes? Or are we going to have to guess?"
She began to sift through the racks. Quite frankly, the idea of wearing anything in this side of the store mortified me. Edward may have seen me naked, but that didn't mean I could pull off sexy. I was too clumsy and awkward. Alice was delusional.
"Is this really necessary?" I asked as she pulled out a black nightgown and held it out for me.
"No, probably not," she answered honestly, "But it'll really turn him on."
She picked up another. I groaned. "I already turn him on."
"Come on, Bella. Every girl needs at least one sexy outfit! You'll thank me later."
With Alice's guidance, I reluctantly picked out something black and lacy. I planned on hiding it at the very back of my closet. It's not like Alice would know the difference. I assumed we were finished, but she drifted over to another rack and grabbed something for herself.
"Who's that for?" I asked. Alice had spent most of the drive messaging someone, but she wouldn't tell me who.
"Oh, you know... No one," she lied.
"Yeah, right."
We visited a bunch of other stores, and I ended up buying a few things for Seth and a watch for Edward. It was the least I could do. The man paid my fucking rent this month. I'd lost almost an entire week's paycheck while I had the flu, but thanks to him, I still had some money to spare. Between that and the college fund he'd set up for Seth, buying him a eighty dollar watch was the least I could do. I just wanted to do something nice for him, especially after all he'd done for me.
As we drove back to Forks, Alice bored me with the ever-so-eventful happenings of human resources. Sometimes it was easy to forget that Edward and Alice worked together. I don't know how they ever made it through his job interview without ripping each other's throats out. Then again, she had to hire him. Edward's dad had a very high reputation, and qualified nurses were hard to come by. According to Alice, everyone with a degree wanted to work in Port Angeles or Seattle. She couldn't be picky, especially considering the fact that Edward actually was good at what he did.
"Like, we have this nurse on the night shift who is always late. Edward puts in overtime every week just to cover for her ass."
"Is it that Tanya bitch?" I asked, "The one who called Edward daddy and proceeded to tell me Seth didn't look like him?"
"Yes! That's her. She said all that? Pathetic. Ugh, I can't stand her. And every time I see her make a pass at Edward, I want to vomit."
"Um, excuse me?" I knew she flirted with him, but did it happen that often? And how did Edward react to them when I wasn't around? She obviously had the hots for him, and as much as I hated to admit it, Tanya was pretty. Did Edward think so?
"Jesus, relax, Bella. It's not like he even gives her a second thought. Not in front of his HR rep, at least. The hospital has a strict policy on relationships within the work place."
"Wow, that makes me feel better," I sneered.
"Oh, come on, Bella! Do you really think Edward would be dumb enough to hit on a girl in front of your best friend? Uh, no. Not if he values his life."
I knew my fears were unfounded, but the curiosity was killing me. I wished Alice would give him the benefit of the doubt because deep down I knew if Edward really wanted Tanya, he would have pursued her. I tried to squash the insecurities; the doubts that Edward only wanted me because we had Seth.
I was so caught up in my thoughts that I almost didn't notice the flashing lights behind me. I looked down at my speedometer, shocked by what I saw.
"Shit," I cursed. "Dammit! Maybe we're close enough to Forks for him to know my dad."
A few seconds later, the highway patrol officer approached my window. The cop was pretty cute, and he couldn't have been much older than me.
"Excuse me, ma'am. My name is Officer Embry with the Washington State Highway Patrol. Are you aware of the 70 MPH speed limit on this road?"
"Yes, I am. I'm sorry. I got caught up in... conversation," I smiled, hoping for mercy.
"It would appear so," he smiled back, "I caught you doing 83. Do you live around here?"
"Actually, I live in Forks. You might know my dad, he's the police chief."
"Chief Swan, eh? I never knew he had such a beautiful daughter."
I blushed. "Thank you," I said timidly.
He glanced into the back seat. "You ladies out doing some shopping today?"
"Yes, sir."
"Okay, I'll try not to keep you for long. I just need your license and registration. Is this your car?"
"Uh, no. Actually, it's not. But I am driving it with permission, in case you were wondering. It's not stolen or anything," I blabbered, biting my lip.
He smiled, "Okay, sweetheart. Who's it registered to?"
"Esme Cullen," I sifted through the glove box to find the registration. It wasn't there.
Fuck.
I handed him my license. "Sir, it looks like the registration isn't in here."
"Okay, well, I'll tell you what. Let's go back to my car. We'll run the tag number, and see if your story checks out."
I reluctantly left Alice alone to sit in the passenger seat of the police car. He typed away on his computer, and radioed in some codes and gibberish.
"Esme Cullen, you said?"
"Yes. Or Carlisle," I added. He continued to type.
He looked down at my driver's license."So, Isabella, you live in Forks?"
"Yeah, I moved in with dad junior year so he wouldn't be lonely."
"Nice. You ever think of moving some place else? Port Angeles? Seattle?"
"I actually have a job offer in Florida, but I don't think I'm going to take it."
He looked as if he was going to reply, but a voice came over the radio.
Among the gibberish, I heard the name Edward Cullen.
"Huh," the officer said. "You sure it's Esme's car?"
"Positive. Or Carlisle's."
"It's actually coming back registered to someone else. Edward?" he asked.
Edward? The Explorer was registered to Edward? For the past year and a half, I'd been driving Edward's car. Not Esme's. Why would Edward give me a fucking car? And why did everyone lie about it?
Because he didn't want his son driving around in the death trap you used to drive.
Because he knew you need it.
Because he wants to take care of you. Both of you.
Because he loves you.
Because if you knew it was his a year ago, you wouldn't have accepted it.
"Um, yeah. Edward is my boyfriend," I boasted. "I can call him if you need me too."
A familiar voice came over the radio- my Dad's. It figured. The scanner was always on back at the station. Unfortunately for me, the life of a small town police station was very uneventful and they typically monitored the area to make sure their assistance wasn't needed elsewhere.
"Which one of you has Isabella Swan pulled over?" he asked.
"Hi, Chief," he greeted, "It's Paul. You have a very beautiful daughter."
His voice came back over, "Mhmm. You thinkin' about asking her out or something?"
Oh my God. I think I'd be happier if the guy just wrote me a ticket and sent me on my way.
"Well, I was, until she mentioned she had a boyfriend."
Charlie laughed. "Don't let that stop you. I give it two weeks before she kicks his ass to the curb."
"Wow," the officer smiled at me flirtatiously, "I take it Dad doesn't approve?"
"Obviously," I scoffed.
"And how do you feel about him?"
"Not that it's any of your business, but I have no intentions of leaving my son's father. So if you don't mind, write my ticket and I'll be on my way."
Sensing my aggravation, he apologized profusely before handing my license back and telling me to drive safely. I stormed back to the truck, and for the second time in less than 24 hours, I wanted to hit my dad. Or make babies with Edward. Probably both.
I slammed my car door and looked at Alice.
"Damn, Bella. That cop was totally flirting with you! Did he ask you out?"
"Don't start, Alice," I snapped, picking up my cell phone. She looked at me an an amused expression.
I dialed a familiar number.
"Hey, Esme?" I asked after she picked up, "Do you mind if Seth spends the night?"
After hanging up, I looked to my friend for advice. "Tell me what else guys like."
We were half way through our last semester of senior year. Mister Banner assigned homework relentlessly, and most of the time I regretted signing up for Honors Biology. Today was no different. Tonight, the worksheet he assigned was simple enough but the fact that it was five pages long and due in the morning was not. My lab partner invited me over to his house so we could work together, and we wasted no time getting off track. Edward and I had a lot in common. We both had a love for music, though he could play and I couldn't. I enjoyed introducing him to new bands, and he did the same. Tonight, Edward showed me his most recent composition on the piano. In turn, I introduced him to my new favorite CD, Elliott Smith's Figure 8.
As it played, we worked through the Punnett Squares, hypothetically predicting the outcome of everything from eye color, to flowers. Edward's bedroom was surprisingly clean for a teenage boy, and I couldn't help but wonder if he'd thrown everything into the closet and under the bed to impress me.
Yeah, right.
So I had a crush. A big crush. On the hottest guy in school. Unfortunately, so did every other girl. Edward could have any girl he wanted, but he hardly showed an interest in anyone.
My phone alerted me to a new text message. And another. Edward looked up from the page he was working on.
"Can't you tell Alice you'll talk to her later?"
"Uh, I'm not actually talking to Alice," I confessed.
Actually, I was talking to the person who'd given me the CD we were listening to. He worked in advertising in Port Angeles, but his wife was a dispatcher down at the station with Charlie. They had two kids, whom I'd been babysitting a lot lately. Our conversations were platonic, or so I thought.
"Who is it?"
"It's no one, Edward."
He eyed me skeptically. "It better not be Mike Newton."
"God! No! Are you kidding me?" I asked, "Gross. It's this guy I've been babysitting for."
"To... set up a night? Or to talk?"
"Just to talk. He's the one who gave me the CD."
"Bella, how old is this guy? Is he married?"
"I don't know, like 30? His wife works with Charlie."
"Let me see the messages."
I snapped my phone shut. Just because the messages were innocent didn't mean I want Edward to see them. I focused on the worksheet. Edward did the same.
Complete the following Punnett squares and answer the questions below.
"This question is about green eyes and brown eyes," He pointed out, "It's like if we had a kid or something."
I scoffed. As if Edward Cullen would ever sleep with me. Besides, I didn't want kids anyway. "Yeah, right."
"Oh, come on, Bella. You're going to be a good mom someday."
Yeah, right.
"I don't want kids, Edward."
"Oh," he said quietly.
My phone buzzed again. Edward grabbed the phone before I could.
The look on his face said it all. I had no idea what the text said, but it obviously wasn't good.
"Oh come on, Edward. Loosen up. It can't be that bad."
"Fuck me if I am wrong, but you want to screw me, don't you?"
"What? No!" Okay, so maybe I'd thought about losing my virginity to Edward once or twice. I just didn't expect him to be so ...forward about it.
"I'm not asking, Bella. I know how to treat a woman with respect. That's what the text says."
I grabbed the phone back. Sure enough, Edward was right.
Ew, ew, ew, ew!
"Edward, you have to know that I would never, ever, mess around with a married man. God! I'm a virgin, for the love of God. I really don't see that changing anytime soon."
...Unless you're offering.
"I ought to go show this to your dad. Fucking pervert wants to cheat on his wife with a minor!"
"Oh my God. Please don't," I begged.
"Where does this guy live? I'm calling Jasper. We'll go set him straight."
"Edward, don't." I didn't think I'd ever been so embarrassed in my life. "Just... Text him and tell him if he texts me again, you'll go to Charlie. And delete his number from my phone if it makes you feel better."
Edward did exactly that. I tried to get back to work, but it was just awkward.
"Edward, you have to know I'd never do that. Right? I'm serious. I'm not that kind of girl."
He sighed, "I know. Bella, you're just too innocent for your own good. Be more careful, okay?"
Suddenly, I felt a subtle ping of jealousy. I didn't want kids because I knew that relationships fell apart- people cheated. They fell out of love. It happened to my parents, and it'd probably happen to me someday. I didn't want to end up with a douche bag like the one I'd been talking to. I wanted to end up with someone like Edward.
Then again, so did every other girl.
"You'll make a good husband someday," I told him, "I mean it. Your wife will be lucky to have you."
Edward looked at me, seemingly deep in thought. I waited for him to say something, but the words never came. Eventually, he smiled and looked back down, proceeding on to the next page.
Got this finished sooner than I thought and didn't get an opportunity to do review replies. Sorry! I considered holding onto the chapter while I sent some out, but I assumed everyone would just want the entire thing... So here it is. I'll be better about teasing next chapter! I promise! Thanks to broduergirl30 and simba517 and thank you for reading/reviewing!
