Note: originally, I wasn't going to post this until after Christmas due to cleaning and preparing for a party but it seems mom is putting things off a little until the last minute, so I wrote this up in my spare time and didn't want to wait anymore, anyway here is the next chapter and I honestly have no idea when I'll update again before tomorrow or on Christmas Day...


Naruto couldn't believe what was going on… His mind was telling him time and time again that 'I'm in some serious shit now…' mostly because he was going on a mission, to take himself out! Damn it all, why couldn't this be any easier for him? No matter what, he couldn't tell them that the monster that Hinata saw was him. Knowing that if he told them, they would either think that he was insane, or that he was telling the truth and tried to kill him. Breathing in deeply, Naruto tried to get himself to calm down, maybe if he remained calm for the duration of the mission, he wouldn't transform in front of Hinata and Kiba, thus, keeping himself safe.

It was selfish yes, but he couldn't allow himself to be taken out yet.

Reaching over for his clothes, well, the new ones he bought since none of them had fit him anymore besides the ones he bought with Hinata that one time. Sighing softly, he grabbed the newly sized orange jacket, with his newly sized black pants for his attire. After that, he grabbed his forehead protector before tying it around his forehead and frowned a bit. He was thankful that the strap was long or else it may not have fit his forehead, thinking that his head had to grow as well with his newly grown torso.

'Am I doing the right thing by going on this mission?' thought Naruto as he let out a soft sigh. It just seemed that no matter what, he just couldn't get over the fact that he was being sent on a mission that would or could, end up getting himself killed or revealing the secret that he had been trying to hide for weeks now.

Letting out a soft sigh, the young man turned around and made his way to his dresser and pulled out a pouch for his thigh that held his kunai and strapped it to his left thigh and a pouch to attach to the back of his waist at the right side. Yawning softly, the young man stretched his arms above his head as he let himself to try to calm down. Everything was just spiralling out of control and he felt like it was starting to enclose on him… to choke him, suffocate him. Rubbing his forehead, Naruto took a deep breath only to wince and pull his hand back.

Damn it, his nerves were really fried right now… his nails had grown into claws. "Just gotta remain calm." Whispered the young man, breathing in and out as he tried to get his nerves to relax. He knew that it was going to be difficult, but it would be worth it so long as he could remain in control over himself. This was going to be difficult, and he knew that but… "Ugh! I don't know what to think!" shouted Naruto, digging his fingers in his head only to yelp and pull his hands away from his hair and curse. "Damn it!" shouted Naruto before walking over to his couch and lied down.

Everything just seemed to be out of sorts, he was driving himself insane already and the mission hasn't even begun yet!

Looking at his hands, Naruto just watched as the claws started to retract from his sense of calm. He couldn't help but wonder… would he hurt Hinata with these very hands? Would he even be aware of it or would his mind block out the memory like it did before? He couldn't be sure, and it scared him greatly. The thought of hurting her, of harming her frightened him and it made him want to cry but damn it, he wouldn't shed any tears.

Frowning a bit, Naruto reached over for the book that he got from the library and looked through it again. None of these entries were dated, the only one that was, had been sixteen years ago in September… whoever this was, he was crazy, insane, and obsessed with some woman and a blonde haired man. Whoever was this woman, he felt bad for her to have someone this crazy following her around… and then of course gaining some kind of crazy power of a wolf that would get him to think that she would love this man, whoever he was…

Shaking his head, the young man pushed himself up and grabbed his backpack from the corner and started to pack up what he could. Knowing that this mission would be long, there was going to be at least a two week limit, if he didn't transform for those two weeks, and remained calm then they would never know, and everything would be perfect… he could keep living a… semi-normal life and nothing would ever bother him ever again. Breathing deeply, Naruto packed up a few packets of ramen, some pork ramen since meat was the only thing that he really craved though there would be the odd time they may have to go out hunting…

Frowning a little, Naruto wondered if he could transform so he could hunt… maybe let his wolf instincts to do the hunting for him? 'No, that is a huge risk, if I do that there is a good chance that I could very well end my own life!' thought the young man with a small glare before shaking his head and letting out a soft sigh. Things just couldn't be any easier for him could they? It all just seemed to throw itself back in his face somehow and it was only getting worse.

"Maybe I'm over thinking this… there has to be a way I could transform without Hinata or Kiba being around me?" He sighed a little more before rubbing a hand on his forehead, happy that he didn't cut himself again. There just has to be something that he could do to get himself from getting discovered, for he has no idea how long he can last without transforming for he has never prevented that before but then again, he seemed to be doing just fine without transforming thus far since all he's done was a partial transformation.

"I need more information…" he whispered softly, though he wasn't sure if the book would be much help for him at this point. Shaking his head, the young man finished packing up everything that he needed and slung it over his shoulders before walking out of his apartment and locked the door behind him. Before Hinata had left yesterday, he had been told that they were going to meet at the main gate. At least that gave him some time to think on what he could do…

Everything seemed to slow down around him, though he wasn't sure if it was the despair of going on this mission that slowed down time, or that he was just bored. Either way, it was the same result for him he figured… "Why do you try to hide your new form from your friends…?" said a new voice, one he knew that didn't belong to the Kyuubi. Blinking in shock, the young man looked around, trying to figure out if maybe the source of the voice was nearby, and not something as a sign that he was also losing his sanity.

'Dear god I have to be losing my mind next…' thought Naruto with a hint of fear.

A deep laughter echoed through his mind, causing Naruto to yelp a bit and turn around, hoping that it was just deep in his mind and that he wasn't being followed. "Do not worry Naruto; I'm just… well let's say that I'm a part of you. The wolf part anyway…"

'Where's the Kyuubi?' thought Naruto with confusion.

"He has been… I guess you can say put to sleep. He is still within you and you still have access to his chakra but for now, I'll be the only voice you hear in your mind." said the voice in his head, the wolf part of him huh? It was rather odd that he was hearing it now, since he had transformed a while ago. Though thought that maybe it was because he wasn't listening before and now was the only chance it could speak to him since his thoughts were in so much turmoil that he had forced itself to be heard after so long.

'Okay that answers why I haven't heard that annoying fox but… why do you care if I tell my friend's or not about… my problem…?' asked Naruto.

The wolf laughed softly, almost as if he found this so very amusing. How the hell was this amusing anyway? It all just seemed like one big nightmare to him and that he hoped he would be waking up soon… any time now… come on… please, wake up! "This is no dream Naruto… this is all too real and you live with this curse… you have to end this curse once and for all Naruto… though, if you do kill the one that turned you, there is the chance that you won't return to normal even then…"

'I could be stuck like this forever?' thought Naruto with shock written all over his face… shock, and horror. He didn't want to be like this forever… to live every day like he was some kind of monster. The thought of it brought chills to go up his spin over and over again. It would be like being in a never ending nightmare… something that he didn't want and it scared him greatly. Rubbing his left temple, Naruto hoped that speaking to this voice wouldn't cause him to go insane and push him further to becoming some kind of wild animal. It had him worried about his safety and the safety of those around him.

Breathing deeply, the wolf calmly said "I said, you 'may' remain like this. There is no for sure way of knowing, for there, to my knowledge and from what you've read, has only been one other person that is a wolf like you, then of course the one that bit you. Though there could also be more but not near Konoha." Naruto frowned a little, okay that made sense though he couldn't really be sure if there was more or if there was less. To be honest, he hated to admit it but the wolf in his mind was right, there really was no way of knowing if there were more… "Damn you're an idiot I swear…" muttered the wolf.

'And you're an asshole…' thought Naruto with bored eyes. Sure, no one knew what his gaze was about but then again he couldn't tell them that he was talking to a voice in his head. If he did, he'd see himself in a big white, soft room with him in a strait jacket. Yes, that was how he saw himself if he told anyone that he was talking to a voice that was in his mind… there was, after all the odd chance that he would end up there anyway…

Shaking his head, the young man kept on walking toward the main gate. Maybe if he ignored the wolf, he could still be declared as sain… or at least, sainish… That was the only thing he had left was his sanity and he wasn't going to lose it, not now, nor ever for that matter. Letting out a soft sigh, the young blonde shinobi looked up at the sky and saw that it was still early, so he may end up early, though he couldn't really be sure of that since there was no way of knowing if the others would be early like him or late like Kakashi… okay, maybe not as late as Kakashi since he was late by hours…

Sighing softly, Naruto dug his hands in his pockets as he tried to think of something else… maybe there was something that he could think about to get himself to relax… though so far, it didn't seem that it would have worked for him anyway…

"Naruto!" shouted a voice, causing the blonde haired teen to look up and frowned a bit as he tilted his head. Standing at the gate was Hinata and Kiba. Both of which had bright smiles on their faces, they were happy to see him out and about, that was easy to see though, he still feared for their safety. "I was worried you wouldn't show up." Hinata said with a soft and gentle smile on her face.

He laughed and folded his arms behind his head as he said "what me? Skip out on a mission? You've got to be kidding me Hinata!" He chuckled a little, but deep down, he was still very upset about the whole thing, thinking, worrying about what could happen if he wasn't careful. There was no telling what could happen if he wasn't careful and he wasn't going to risk that, not ever… or could he? No… he would just have to be extra careful while on this mission and he knew that much at the very least.

"It's been a while Naruto, what have you been doing anyway?" asked Kiba with a bit of a frown.

"I've been training on my own." Calmly answered Naruto, which wasn't really a lie, in fact it was the truth. Just not telling them though on what he was training for since he was supposed to be resting but he couldn't help bit… He had been about to be driven insane from not doing anything else and had to be active. Though maybe he could have dropped by now and again to let them know that he was okay… though, he couldn't help bit with the way he's been lately thanks to his curse… "Don't worry guys; I'm fine, though… I offer to do the hunting… alone."

"Why?"

"I want to test to see if I can do some hunting thanks to my training… huh? Where's Akamaru?" asked Naruto with a frown. It was rather odd that he didn't see the white dog since he was always with Kiba, not once has Naruto seen Kiba away from Akamaru for anything unless they were getting check-ups at the same time. This was new indeed…

"Oh, Akamaru had to get a quick check-up before we left so Hana is looking after him then as soon as he's okay to go Akamaru will come over." Kiba said with a grin on his face. Still, that was strange, Naruto was sure that Kiba would have stayed with his partner until he was given the okay for him to leave. "Hana told me to come on over to make sure if you or Hinata showed up first to let one of you or both to know what's going on." He must have figured that's what Naruto was curious about, either Kiba could read Naruto that well, or he was going to explain either way…

Though, maybe it was best that the giant white dog wasn't near him, knowing that if it happened that he would end up speaking to Akamaru and that would drive him crazy again. It still bothered him that he could hear and understand Akamaru when Kiba found him after the full moon and it scared the crap out of him when that had happened though he had been in too much pain at the time to really give a damn about it.

Now though, it still bothered him that he was freaking out about something that he couldn't control about… was that normal though? Or was he just being stupid and freaking out about nothing? It wasn't like they would think of him as a freak right or… would they because he was speaking to a dog when only members of Kiba's clan could understand dogs? It was all starting to confuse him, though at least he was calm… Looking over at Hinata, Naruto blushed a soft pink before he pulled her close as he said "I've missed you while I was training… I'm sorry that I haven't spent a lot of time with you…"

"It's okay…"

"No it's not… I'm a terrible boyfriend to have ignored you like that and I am so very sorry." He whispered gently, not thinking before he kissed Hinata gently. He wanted to tell her so badly, to tell her that it was him that had been close to attacking her that night on the night of the full moon but damn it, he couldn't tell her… he just couldn't tell her that he had turned into some kind of monster and it scared him of how she would react if she had found out that he was a monster…

"Whoa, you guys are dating!?" shouted Kiba, causing Naruto to blush deeply before pulling back. Right… he hadn't told anyone that he was dating Hinata. Giving a nervous laugh, he let Hinata go and turned around, carefully looking at his hands as he saw that his nails turned into claws… it was weird how that was the only thing to change if he was nervous… or at least the first thing to change on him. Breathing deeply, the young man relaxed a little before digging his hands into his pockets once again and turned back to face the confused brown haired teen.

"Yeah, we're dating… been for a little while though… with everything happening haven't been able to make it official or let anyone know." Naruto said with a bit of a nervous laugh before turning away from the gate. Suddenly, a loud bark was heard, causing everyone to face forward and saw a big white barking down, his long ears flopping in the air as he rushed toward Kiba. "Well, it looks like we're gonna leave now." Naruto mumbled under his breath before looking up as the gate started to open. Well… he may as well get this over and done with, he was sure that two weeks wouldn't be that bad… right?