Disclaimer: The muses would like to remind everyone that Angel Spirit doesn't own Digimon, just the plot of the fic
Author's Musings: Muahahahaha, the first update of the New Year! Woot!
I have something to admit. This chapter has had to be one of the toughest chapters that I have ever written…and you will all probably see why as you continue to read on, because I haven't done anything like this before in any of my fics, and it was tough to get that certain 'setting' (as I'll call it for the moment) just right and to maintain it throughout the chapter. I've been told I've done a good job, and I actually think that this is one of my favorite chapters and that Confessions is quickly becoming one of my favorite fics to write on and work with. If you have Evanescence's second album "The Open Door" definitely listen to the song "Cloud Nine" while reading this chapter, since it was a main stay song for me throughout. It's a gorgeous song, and the lyrics-at least to me-really kind of fit what happens in parts of this chapter. I'll also admit something else here too-Izumi isn't really in this chapter. She might be mentioned once or twice, but she's not in it…I just couldn't fit her anywhere, I didn't think that with the way I have her personality for this fic, that she'd fit into this chapter too well. But don't fret Izumi lovers; she'll be back in the next chapter. So this chapter mostly focuses on Takuya, Kouji, Kouichi, and Junpei…I've still got the Kouichi, Junpei, and Izumi triangle going on, never fear-I just thought that since there are hardly any fics with those two paired up, that I'd give Kouichi and Junpei some time to themselves… ((Grins mischievously)) I know for a fact that there's quite a few of you out there rooting for the two of them, so this chapters for you guys! I'll keep it as a triangle for now, but I have an interesting question and I'm curious as to the response that'll come from you wonderful readers you. If I had to make a choice, as to whom Kouichi would end up with, would you guys want it to be Izumi, or Junpei? Not like I'm necessarily going to make him choose...but you guys should all know the way my mind works by now…right? At least when it comes to my fics? ((Runs off before anyone can hurt her for even suggesting the idea))
Rating: PG13
Warning: This fic contains slash/yaoi…if you're not a fan of male/male pairings, then I suggest that you hit the wonderful back button to the top left of your page and run far, far away. Don't say you were never for warned!
Pairings: Takuya/Kouji, a Junpei/Kouichi/Izumi triangle, and some Shinya/Tomoki at times
Time Setting: four years after season 04
Confessions
Author: Angel Spirit
Chapter 12: If I Fall
"In a dream, will you give your love to me?
Beg my broken heart to bleed
Save my life,
Change my mind"
EV-Cloud Nine
"Mr. Shibayama, your car." Junouichi Shibayama glowered at the officer who escorted him to the limo that awaited his presence, as he managed to make it quickly past the media and into the safety of the tinted window vehicle before him.
The moment he got inside, he promptly told his driver to take him home and then turned his attention to the lovely woman sitting next to him, as he gently took her hand and planted a light, thankful kiss on it.
"My dear, you have no idea how relieved I am to see you-you make a wonderful business partner, you know that, right?" Jade Yin only grinned slyly at her 'business partner' and batted her long eyelashes.
"Well, I couldn't very well let you rot in jail now could I?" Junouichi only smirked as he leaned back while Ms. Yin poured him a drink and handed it to him. He savored the Gin, and gave her another cold smile of thanks. Jade could only nod as she leaned back in her own seat, making herself comfortable for the ride back to the Shibayama's place, having no doubt that Junouichi Shibayama would be in need of her…special talents.
"What am I going to do with that son of mine? He's become quite the rebel…" Jade Yin laughed-and the laugh was nowhere near friendly enough, but it made Junouichi smile even more…Jade Yin was his kind of woman…like mother, like daughter he believed and he knew that her daughter had caused plenty of ruckus in the lives of his son's friends.
His son's friends…
Junouichi Shibayama's lips curled in a sneer as his expression was one of pure malice. Junpei's friends would have to be taken care of…yes, they would…especially Minamoto. Why the brat didn't die with his parents Junouichi could only guess. But now he was in trouble…because if Minamoto, Kouji found out anything about the deal that Junouichi had made with his father, there would be hell to pay…oh yes, there would. And Junouichi would have none of it.
There was only one solution to this big mess, really.
Kouji Minamoto must parish at all and any costs…and it had to be soon.
And maybe Junouichi would take care of his rebellious son and his…his boyfriend…at the same time, as well.
Before taking a long swig of his drink, an evil smile twisted Junouichi Shibayama's lips.
There was more than one way to skin a cat…
BREAK
Kouichi Kimura shivered from where he laid in Junpei's embrace. The two had just ordered food, and Kouji and Tomoko hadn't arrived with Takuya yet. But yet…something…felt…off. Incredibly off…very wrong…there was really no way to describe what he felt, but he felt…cold…almost. Like something dark was waiting for them. Again, Kouichi shivered and Junpei tightened his arms around him a little bit, no doubt thinking that he was cold.
"Are you okay? You're shaking like a leaf." Junpei murmured into his ear, and Kouichi bit his lower lip, not quite sure what to say as they continued to lie there in the silent, warm darkness. While the night air had helped cool things down a bit, the apartment was still a bit on the stuffy side, and the two teens had decided to continue leaving the windows open in hopes of cooling it down a bit more before they all had to go to bed.
When Kouichi didn't answer his question right away, Junpei found himself stilling. Whenever Kouichi got like this…he…wasn't sure what to do or think. There were times he'd found out, that Kouichi could…well…sense things…in a way Kouichi couldn't explain it and Junpei didn't think that he could explain it either. But there were times when Kouichi knew that something bad was going to happen and it did. Junpei just kind of hoped that this wasn't one of those times…he believed that there had been enough bad things happening to all of them already.
"Kouichi…? Come on…talk to me…please?" All Kouichi did at Junpei's soft request was turn and bury his head into Junpei's chest, his voice muffled a bit as he tried to explain what he was suddenly feeling…and thinking that he wasn't having very much luck at it.
When Junpei couldn't hear him very well, he told him he was mumbling and pushed Kouichi up a bit so that he could actually understand what his love was trying to tell him.
"I just…I don't know…I just feel cold all of a sudden…like…like something isn't right…I…it's kind of like there's still darkness lurking out there…and it's not over with us yet. It's still got plans for us." What Kouichi had said, reminded Junpei of something his father was capable of…and as Kouichi huddled back down on top of him, Junpei tightened his arms around the older twin in a tight, protective embrace.
His father was still in jail…right? They'd set the bail so high that he doubted anyone would pay it…at least, no one in their right minds. When the police had found out that he'd nailed Takuya with a punch hard enough to bruise most of his cheek and his eye, and had slammed Kouji-still very much injured from the car accident-up against the wall hard enough to take him down for a couple of minutes, and had then threatened Ms. Kimura…well, Junpei had never been more relieved at how strict cops could be when it came to the law.
Junpei closed his eyes for a moment, and held his breath. When he'd found out what his father had done to Takuya and Kouji, he'd been mortified…especially with what his father had done to Kouji…it had taken any amount of effort on Junpei's part to not apologize over and over again. Kouji was still injured-his knee was still healing and it would take several more weeks before it was fully healed. If his father had injured Kouji any further with the stunt that he'd pulled…Junpei didn't think that he could've ever forgiven himself. That, and the fact that when Junpei had found out what Kouji had done to save Ms. Kimura…it made him shudder, and it made him feel even worse that he'd been a coward, and had fled the room and gone upstairs to hide. He knew he owed both Kouji and Takuya a big one…a really big one. They could've both gotten hurt because of their sheer stupidity…and bravery. Yes, bravery…Junpei called the both of them brave in many ways-he only wished that he could take a page out of their books and stand up for himself against his father.
Unfortunately for Junpei, he couldn't always have his way…and all he could do was lay there on the couch, holding his boyfriend as protectively as he possibly could…silently promising Kouichi that he'd protect him…and Kouji…at all and any costs, no matter what happened. Junpei couldn't afford to let the twins irritate his father any further than they already had…and Junpei had the feeling that Takuya would wholeheartedly agree with him on that promise.
If there was one thing that Junpei was afraid of the most, it was that if the twins had gotten underneath his father's skin, then that it would mean that his father would already be planning something…
And that would be a very bad thing…
BREAK
The car ride back to the apartment was anything but cheerful. The moment Takuya had climbed in the van, he'd pretty much fallen into Kouji's outstretched arms…and the two lovers had stayed that way until Tomoko had pulled into the parking lot.
When she shut off the engine, she opened the driver's door and started to climb out of the van…but not before she realized that neither her son nor Takuya had moved an inch, and when she turned to look at Kouji with a questionable expression, all Kouji did was shake his head at her. From the look in Kouji's dark, blue-gray eyes, Tomoko had the feeling that her son wanted some private time with Takuya to talk…and what a better place to do the talking in, then in the van?
But before she left, she cleared her throat, causing both Kouji and Takuya to jump slightly and she gave them an apologetic smile.
"I know that you two have a couple of things you probably want to talk about, so I'll leave you to it. But before I go, Takuya I just want you to know that you're more than welcome to stay and live with us for as long as you possibly have to or want to. You've become something like a son to me, and I couldn't thank you enough for all the help and support that you've given to me and Kouji. I know that since I'm his mother, this might be a bit on the embarrassing side when I say this, but I think in all honesty that you've been the best thing that's ever happened to Kouji, and I agree with Kouichi and the others when they say that you two truly have something special. Takuya…whatever you decide, whatever you think, truly think about all the possibilities…because if I know my son the way I think I do, he won't let you go without a fight." With that said and done, Tomoko sighed and nodded as she shut the door glancing only once at the van before she started to head up the stairs to the apartment, suddenly wondering what it was that her oldest twin and Junpei had ordered for dinner…and hoped to god it wasn't pizza.
I'm really going to have to do some grocery shopping tomorrow…we can't keep on ordering take out food, this is ridiculous. I know my cooking skills have never been up to par, but I think it's time that changed…the twins need a healthier eating habit than take out, especially with Kouji on those pain medications. Tomoko sighed again, as she realized that she'd forgotten to talk to Dr. Crestman about Kouji's medication problem and how it always left him feeling sick and tired. She made herself a mental promise to talk to the good doctor about it on her next shift, hoping that he'd understand and be reasonable, and put Kouji on something else. With everything that was going on lately, she had the feeling that Kouji really did not want to be feeling sick and tired all the time. But Dr. Crestman was a decent doctor…and Tomoko had the feeling that once she explained things to him, he'd prescribe a different medication.
With that thought out of the way, Tomoko glanced again at the van…hoping that whatever it was that Kouji had wanted to talk to Takuya about, that it wouldn't turn into an argument…
That was the last thing they needed…and Tomoko knew that Kouji might not be able to handle things as well as he had been, if something went awry with his newfound relationship with Takuya…
BREAK
There was still nothing but silence in the car after Tomoko had left, and Kouji was wishing hard for his mother to return. He wasn't sure if what his mother had said had had any effect on Takuya…but he'd have to remember to thank her later for trying to help. Kouji almost smiled…that was probably where Kouichi got his willingness to help whenever he could in almost any situation from. Kouji knew it definitely hadn't come from their father.
His father…
Kouji pushed the thought back, reminding himself that he couldn't think about that now. What mattered most right now was Takuya…and as Kouji reached out a hand to place gently onto his shoulder, he felt-and saw-Takuya tense up. Deciding to be brave, Kouji was the first one to break the silence.
"Takuya…Takuya please…talk to me? I…I need to know-" He was quickly cut off though, when Takuya suddenly whirled around to face him, almost making him lose his balance, as he'd taken off his seat belt when Tomoko had stopped the car.
"I've already told you what happened-there's nothing more to talk about, all right?" Takuya's words were sharp, and had a harsh edge to them…his dark, brown eyes were even darker now, and instead of holding that lost look to them, they looked angry. Kouji couldn't remember ever seeing his koi this angry before…especially at him. Sure, they'd been angry with each other plenty of times back in the Digital World…Kouji knowing that he'd probably been the one to provoke most of the fights they'd had. But this was different…it had been four years since their journey through the Digital World, and they didn't fight as much anymore, if hardly ever now. Especially these days…
This was why Kouji was a little taken aback by the look that he saw in Takuya's eyes, and especially at what Takuya said next.
"Don't give me that puppy-dog eyed look…there have been plenty of times where I've tried to get you to open up and you wouldn't, now is just one of those times for me. I…I just need to think…I…I can't believe I just did that…my dad gave me the ultimatum…my family…or you…and I chose you…" Takuya look frantic as he said this, and Kouji's dark, blue-gray eyes opened wide with horror.
Takuya…Takuya wasn't thinking of changing his mind, was he?
While Kouji loved Takuya dearly, he would never make Takuya choose…he would never ever make Takuya make a decision like that. And yet…yet…if Takuya backed down from his decision and Kouji urged him not to…to stay with him…wouldn't he be doing just that?
Kouji's heart raced as he thought of something to say. He couldn't lose Takuya. Not now…and Kouji had the horrible feeling that if he let Takuya go back to his family, then he would lose Takuya-quite possibly forever.
"Takuya…Takuya, you just need some time to…to think about this…to think things through…and you need to give your parents some time too; I'm sure that your dad didn't mean what he had said…I know-" and again, Kouji was cut off by Takuya, who had smacked his hand off of his shoulder so hard that it had actually hurt. And Kouji winced as he held onto it, forcing himself to stare into Takuya's angry dark, brown eyes.
"You know what, Kouji? You've never had to make a decision like this…never. You've never been forced to choose between someone you know is the love of your life, and your family!" Instead of sympathizing with what Takuya had all but yelled at him, Kouji's dark, blue-gray eyes narrowed and darkened as he rubbed his wrist. Had Takuya completely lost it, and forgotten everything that Kouji himself had just been through the past few weeks? He felt like he needed to remind Takuya of this…so he did, feeling the same hot, boiling anger that Takuya was feeling swell up inside of him.
A part of his mind cried to him to not do it…that it felt too much like the old times when they'd argue. But Takuya had gone too far this time…
"How dare you!" Takuya blinked at what Kouji had hissed out, seeing the angered look on his koi's face…wondering what he'd said to make Kouji so angry and upset. Kouji of all people should've known that while Takuya was angry, that he didn't mean anything he'd said…he wasn't really in control of himself right now…
All Takuya could do was close his eyes at the onslaught that was about to come.
And come it did.
"I might not have had to choose between my family and the love of my life, Takuya, but I never got to choose what's happened to me in my life so far! You think I've had it easy?!? I thought you of all people knew better, Takuya…remember, I found out I had a twin brother in the Digital World…that my mother was still alive and that we'd missed twelve years together! I'd been lied to by my father for twelve years and I was still fighting within myself to forgive him! And then before I know it, he's taken away from me…and I didn't have a choice there either, Kanbara! Do you really think that any of us really get to make choices in our lives?!? If I had had it all my way, I would've had Kouichi and our mother with me and my father from the very beginning, they would've never had to leave us, our parents would have never had to be separated for any reason, we'd still be a family! Something I've never, truly had, Takuya…a whole family…and if I'd had my way that car accident would've never happened! Do you think that I chose to be in this kind of position?!? Do you think that it's my choice to have my knee in a cast for the duration of its healing time? Do you know what it feels like to have your family ripped apart every time you turn around, thinking that finally everything will be perfect for you? I don't think you understand what it's like to keep on losing the people you love." Kouji's breaths came out in pants as he paused for a minute, finally registering the look on Takuya's face.
The brunette in front of him was looking quite miserable now, but Kouji wasn't done yet…not by far.
"Takuya, you might have had to make a choice tonight…but for sixteen years, you've had a family…a full family-not a broken one. But right now, to me, family isn't what matters…it doesn't even count. Do you want to know what really counts for me right now, Takuya, at least decision-wise?" All Takuya could do was stare blindly at him and Kouji fought back the growl of anger that threatened to emerge. Wasn't Takuya going to show any emotion at all? Why did Kouji feel like he was spelling things out for him…?
Kouji could feel the tears starting to sting in his eyes, and he fought to keep control of them until he was able to flee from the van. He was upset-he knew Takuya knew that much-but right now, Takuya was the last person that he wanted to see him crying.
"You're a baka, Kanbara, really! The decision that really counts for me right now, is that I truly decided that I love you…I know within every inch of my being, that you're that one person I'm meant to be with…I knew it a long time ago-shortly after the Digital World-we both know this! It was my decision to love you Takuya, it was your decision to love me but at the same time, my mother is right…fate plays a part of it. Takuya, if you hadn't been so loyal to me, if you hadn't been by my bedside while I was in that coma, I'm not sure we'd even be here having this argument right now! It was your voice, Takuya, yours and yours alone that helped bring me back…it was your stories that made me smile on the inside as I wondered how you remembered such things, how you knew and understood things that I didn't think you had. You understand me when no one else does, sometimes, even Kouichi-my own twin. While I know your family is important to you, Takuya…I…I need you, too…and forgive me for being selfish, but I can't help it. You're what brought me back, Takuya-and I didn't come back just to lose you! My mother was right; I'm not going to let you go without a fight. And if you fight me back, I'll fight harder. I can't believe that you'd even think of just calling it quits, because people in your family don't think that this is right. I thought that you knew better than that, Takuya…" Kouji was finally out of anger, in fact he was out of it altogether, and all Takuya could do was stare at him. Kouji's eyes were a color that he'd never seen before.
They looked like the color of the stormy night sky above them, and Takuya suddenly found himself closing his own dark, brown eyes to try to shut off the emotions that he saw from Kouji's eyes…and the ones that he himself was starting to feel, as well.
Lightning crashed above them, and the thunder that sounded afterwards caused Kouji to jump and yelp-in fact, Kouji looked a little frightened as well but he managed to compose himself enough to look at Takuya, who still had his eyes closed.
Takuya didn't open them when Kouji put a hand on his shoulder again…relieved when Takuya didn't flinch this time.
"I-I'm sorry, Takuya…I…I know you're hurting now…I had no right…no right to tear into you like that. I…I think…I think I'm going to give you some time…time to think…I just want to let you know that I love you. And no matter what decision you finally come down to, I'll always love you." Kouji hesitated for a minute, wondering if Takuya was going to say anything or open his eyes. A part of Kouji really wanted Takuya to throw himself at him, to start opening up to him…tell him his thoughts; tell him that they could work this out together.
But it never happened. So Kouji closed his eyes for a minute, too, jumping once more when the thunder rattled again as he winced at the sound. It still reminded him of the noises from the car accident…and he knew he had to get inside before his newfound fear took over.
"Takuya, you've helped me through so much…I…I'm here for you when…and if…you need me. Just don't leave me…" Kouji said the last part so quietly, he wasn't sure that Takuya had heard him. With a sigh, Kouji managed to reach over and open up the other sliding door, letting himself out. He let it slide shut behind him, groaning as he realized all too late that it was now pouring down rain outside, that they were having another summertime storm, and that he'd have to hurry so that he wouldn't get drenched any further.
Not like it mattered anyway, since he was pretty much soaked the moment he'd stepped out of the van.
As Kouji neared the elevator that would take him up to the apartment (as he really didn't feel like taking the stairs even though he knew it would be good exercise for him), he glanced once more back at the van, and lowered his head with a sigh.
He truly didn't know what Takuya's final decision would be…but whatever it was, Kouji was determined to accept it. If Takuya decided to go back and be with his family…if his family meant that much to him…
"If he chooses his family…I'll lose him forever…I just know it. And oh god…I don't think I could live with that…he'll kill me that way for sure." Kouji murmured, raising his face to the sky as he allowed himself to look up into its cloudy depths for a few seconds, before he heard the elevator signaling its arrival…
BREAK
"Kouji! You're soaking wet…get inside, right now!" Kouji winced, knowing it wasn't a request from his brother; more or less it was a pure demand…one that Kouji accepted easily as he made his way inside, not really caring much about anything anymore…at least not right now.
What did he have left to care about, if Takuya went back with his family? Reality of the whole situation had hit Kouji hard in the elevator, and he really didn't know what he'd do without the spunky brunette in his life.
How did I come to depend and rely on Takuya so much? Kouji wondered, shivering a bit when thunder rumbled again as Kouichi closed the door and continued leading his twin brother inside.
For Kouichi's part, he had the feeling that something wasn't right-Kouji was acting like he was in some kind of daze, and hadn't really spoken to him at all since having entered the apartment…and the fact that Kouji didn't really care that he was soaked to the bone definitely made Kouichi raise an eyebrow.
"Come on…let's get you upstairs and dried off, and into some warm clothes." Kouichi murmured, guiding Kouji up the stairs the best he could. Something had to have happened in the van…when their mother had come in by herself, Kouichi had gotten a very bad feeling about what was taking place down in the van, and the older twin was positive by now, that an argument had taken place.
Kouichi sighed and closed his eyes as he got his brother into the room he shared with Takuya, and was about to ask what had happened when Kouji suddenly inhaled sharply and suddenly turned around so that he was facing Kouichi-the last thing Kouichi had been expecting, was for Kouji to throw his arms around him, his crutches falling to the ground as Kouji started to sob uncontrollably…and all Kouichi could do, was comfort his twin the best way he could without knowing what was wrong, as he wrapped his own arms around his brother, not caring if he got wet or not.
"Kouji…shh…Kouji…tell me what's wrong…what's gotten you so worked up?" When Kouichi finally caught Kouji's eyes, he gasped at the onslaught of emotions that were displayed there and he mentally growled at Takuya. Whatever Takuya had said to his twin, he'd upset him greatly…and Kouichi wanted nothing more then to go down to that van-stormy weather or no-and put Takuya straight. Hadn't Takuya promised that he'd stay by Kouji's side, always, no matter what?
"Takuya…Takuya…oh gods…he's…I think he's thinking of going back on his decision, and going back to his family…god Kouichi…I don't…I don't think that I can live without him, and…and I said some things that I don't think I should've, and I wasn't very understanding, and…and…if I lose him…" Kouji sobbed, and realization of what must've happened in the van dawned on Kouichi, as he sighed and hugged Kouji to him once more before helping him move towards the bed.
"Come on…we need to get you dry…Kouji…Takuya loves you so much…do you really think that he'd leave you…especially now? He'd be a baka to do something like that, and that just doesn't sound like something he'd do at all." Kouji only shivered at what Kouichi said, as the older twin moved quickly to get some dry clothing and a towel to dry Kouji off with…it would do them no good if he were to come down with something like pneumonia now…with everything else going on, that was the last thing they needed.
Kouji fumbled with the clothes, his fingers feeling cold from the rain; and Kouichi found himself helping a bit more as they finally got Kouji dry enough so that Kouichi didn't worry so much about his health. Once that was done, Kouichi gestured for Kouji to climb further onto the bed, and his twin sighed heavily as he did so.
"I feel like a moron…I feel like a big jerk…" Kouji murmured, as Kouichi comforted Kouji the best way he could…in all reality, though, Kouichi knew that the only person who could truly comfort Kouji, was Takuya himself.
Kouichi wasn't sure how long he sat on the bed with Kouji, simply holding him as Kouji cried himself to sleep…silently cursing Takuya for upsetting his twin so much. But at the same time, Kouichi felt defeated as well…Takuya had been dealt a tough deck of cards…he could only imagine what the brunette was feeling. Having to make a decision like the one he had to make wasn't easy…and Kouji…Kouji had a point. Even though he'd chosen to come back, he still had enough time to fully make up his mind…to tell his dad that it had all been a mistake, that he'd be a good boy from now on and wouldn't upset him any further by keeping the relationship he had with Kouji.
The older twin shook his head at this thought, though. He knew that didn't sound like Takuya once so ever. In fact, if he knew Takuya the way he believed he did, Takuya would fight to keep Kouji in any way he could…he highly doubted that Takuya would back down from something he believed in.
Kouji sniffled in his sleep, and Kouichi sighed. He just wished that his brother could have some happiness…true happiness…even if it was only for a little while-he wished that Takuya could have the same, as well.
Eventually the storm passed quickly on, and it was only when Kouichi was hearing the last of the rumbling from the distant thunder, that he looked up to see Takuya standing in the doorway…looking a little on the wet side, but not as bad as Kouji had been when he'd come up.
"I'm a baka, aren't I?" Takuya murmured, seeing how distraught Kouji looked-even in his sleep-and Kouichi only shook his head as he managed to slowly and gently extract himself from his brother's embrace.
"You said it, not me. Takuya…I know…I know this has all been tough on you…it's been tough on all of us…we've all got decisions to make in life, some of us don't even get a chance to make any decision at all, as to how our lives end up. Look at Kouji…I can sure as hell tell you that he didn't want any of this. He didn't want that car accident to happen, he didn't want to be injured like this, and I know for a fact that he's been feeling like a burden to everyone and that he hates having to depend on people so much. But I wouldn't trade him for the world…he's never been a burden to me and never will be. I'm glad that he survived, I wouldn't want to have it any other way…but it wasn't a choice of his to make, and it wasn't a choice of mine to make, either…sometimes fate does ugly things to us, Takuya. It gives us what we need, and sometimes it rips it all away. Fate gave you Kouji…Takuya…everyone knows you two were meant to be. But at the same time, as fate's given you Kouji, it's taken away your family…but Takuya…answer me this…if they really were your family-wouldn't they accept you in a relationship with Kouji?" It had to be the most that Takuya ever thought he'd heard Kouichi speak, and he had to admit that he was impressed-Kouichi certainly knew where to hit…at least verbally he did.
The brunette ran a hand through his messy hair, and felt like he wanted to cry. Kouichi had a good point…
"Takuya-remember when you told me shortly after finding out about Kouji's accident, and the condition he was in, that you didn't think that you could lose him…that you didn't think that you could live without him?" Kouichi asked, and Takuya nodded. He remembered all too well…it hadn't been that long ago, after all…and his heart clenched as Takuya glanced over at Kouji's sleeping form, wishing that he could scoop Kouji up in his arms right now and tell him how very sorry he was…
"I don't think that Kouji could live without you either, in all honesty, Takuya. You're his life-line…he wouldn't admit it outright, but ever since he met you, you've always been there for him, no matter what. You've constantly been by his side…without you, Kouji would fall apart. And I don't think I could stand it if that were to happen. Whether you like it or not, Takuya, the two of you have some kind of…well…I'll call it a link for now. If the link breaks…well…let's just say I hope it never happens, and that we never have to see the consequences. That link's been tested one too many times in the past few weeks…so give it a break, Takuya…let things run their course. Hopefully in time, your dad will come to his senses. And if he doesn't…know that you've always got family here…you are family, Takuya, whether you want it or not, you big baka." Kouichi finished his small lecture, and was surprised when he suddenly found Takuya's arms around him-holding him in a tight hug…one that Kouichi greatly returned.
"You're one of my best friends, Takuya…and I never want you to give up-no matter what." Kouichi whispered into the brunette's ear, and felt Takuya nod into his shoulder, as the brunette stepped away and wiped a hand across his eyes.
"I won't. I've been stupid before, but I won't let it happen, again. My father…he…just shook me a little, I think…you're right, I don't think I ever expected to have to make that kind of a choice in my life…but now…I'm kind of glad I chose this one. Fate's got a funny way of messing with people's lives…but if you won't give up on me, then I'm not going to give up, either…Kouji's mine…heart and soul…and I'm going to make damned sure that nothing tears the two of us apart. I love him too much and I can't believe I even had to think about it." Takuya muttered, and Kouichi only smiled softly as he moved away a bit of hair that had fallen into Takuya's eyes…noticing that the brunette needed a haircut.
"Everyone questions love sometimes…but this one…this one's not questionable, Takuya." Kouichi murmured, as Kouji stirred slightly and sighed in his sleep, causing Takuya to look past Kouichi and over at his koi, and he sighed as he ran a hand through his hair again.
"Kouichi…umm…" Takuya didn't even have to go any further, as Kouichi shook his head and started backing out of the room, holding his hands out in front of him in defeat.
"I know when I'm no longer wanted." The older twin said, chuckling at the expression on Takuya's face as he shook his head while he continued to back out of the room.
"I'm kidding, Takuya! I know you want some time with my brother…besides; I think that the food should be coming soon anyway…want me to bring the two of you something?" Takuya nodded at Kouichi's question, as he finally managed to grab a hold of the doorknob and gently closed the door…
BREAK
"Kouichi's right, I'm a baka…the world's biggest, in fact." Takuya muttered to himself, as he sat on the bed and held his head in his hands, trying to shake off the emotional impact the afternoon had had on him.
He was startled though, when he suddenly felt a hand on the small of his back and he jumped slightly, turning to see that it was Kouji's hand on his back-his koi's dark, blue-gray eyes were open slightly, and he looked weary. Takuya didn't blame him for that one bit…he'd be weary too, if he were in Kouji's position right now.
"You are a baka, Kanbara…but you're my baka and no one else's…all right?" The fact that Kouji even had to question something like that caused Takuya to sigh as he readjusted himself so that he was lying down directly next to Kouji, facing him. He reached out a hand, relieved when Kouji didn't flinch away as he had earlier when Kouji had done the same gesture-and gently placed it along Kouji's cheek.
"No one else's…I'm sorry…I really am…" Takuya murmured, and Kouji let out a sigh as he nuzzled Takuya's hand, not caring if it wasn't something that he'd normally do. Right now, he was just glad that Takuya was still there-that Takuya hadn't left him…
"I was…afraid…" Kouji whispered, and Takuya shook his head, moving his hand slightly so that it gently covered Kouji's mouth, not wanting to hear anymore.
"You have no reason to be…like you and Kouichi have been telling me more times then I care to count this afternoon, I'm a baka. I can guarantee you that that was part of my dad's plan all along…to give me the ultimatum, to make me second guess myself-and I'm sure that if he ever knew that I actually did think of second guessing my love for you, then he'd be thrilled. However, when I was down in the van after you left…that empty silence…I realized that I couldn't stand that kind of empty silence, especially since I know that that would be exactly what would happen to me if anything-or anyone-was to come between us. I'd have an empty silence in my heart…and it hurt. I remembered when you were in the coma how scared I was to lose you…and that fear all came rushing back to me this afternoon. I can't lose you…I don't know if you heard me telling Kouichi or not, Kouji, but you are my heart and my soul. I'll do anything to keep you, no matter how possessive that sounds." Takuya declared, and Kouji smiled softly at this as he reached out a hand and ran it through Takuya's damp hair.
"If I want anyone to be possessive of me, it would have to be you and only you." Kouji murmured feeling tired as he was finding it hard to keep his eyes open.
Upon noticing this, Takuya shifted a bit more so that he was lying with his back against the pillows as he drew Kouji up to his chest, and heard his koi sigh in sheer happiness as Kouji rested his head against Takuya's chest, and Takuya realized that he wouldn't have it any other way. He was a bit startled though, when Kouji opened his eyes and looked up at him with a raised eyebrow.
"What?" Takuya asked, wondering why Kouji was suddenly lifting himself off of him. What had he done wrong now?
"You need to change your clothes…you're still wet from outside, and now you've gone and gotten me wet again!" Kouji muttered the last part, and Takuya chuckled softly as he moved off the bed and headed to change into a dryer pair of clothes-and got Kouji a new sleep shirt, tossing it over to him and the dark haired teen caught it with a small grin.
"I thought you said you loved me no matter what?" Takuya was teasing, and Kouji knew this much as he stuck his tongue at his koi and crossed his arms over his chest.
"I do love you…but not when you're all wet, and getting me and the bed wet in the process, Takuya!" The brunette snorted at Kouji's reply, seeing how his dark-haired lover's eyes sparkled with mirth as Takuya changed quickly as Kouji changed his shirt as well, managing to toss his wet one into the hamper a few feet away before Takuya came and climbed back onto the bed-reclaiming his spot.
"So…we're…okay now?" Takuya whispered, as Kouji adjusted himself and glanced over at Takuya with a gentle expression in his eyes.
"I'm okay if you're okay…we'll just…have to take this one step at a time. For now, I know mom will more than happily let you stay with us…she is after all, looking for a bigger place…a part of me is almost wondering if she was suspecting that something like this was going to happen." Kouji murmured with a thoughtful frown, as Takuya shrugged, and he and Kouji adjusted themselves again so that they were in the same position they were before Kouji had demanded Takuya to change his wet clothes.
"Maybe-you three are pretty perceptive of people around you-I have the feeling your mom knew that our relationship might raise a few eyebrows. And Kouichi was right about something else too, now that I'm thinking about it-they're not really my family if they can't accept that I belong with you and that you belong with me. Besides, they've had me for fourteen years now…it's your turn." Kouji found himself smiling softly at Takuya's words, as the brunette leaned over and claimed his mouth hungrily. Kouji returned the kiss, and the two battled it out until there was a soft knock at the door and they had to pull apart-and when they did, Takuya was grinning mischievously, his dark, brown eyes sparkling as he hollered at the person to enter.
When Kouichi managed to get through the door-with Junpei's help-he smirked when he saw the position that Kouji and Takuya were sitting in, as he balanced a tray of food in his hands.
"I take it things are back to normal?" Kouichi asked with a raised eyebrow, and Takuya and Kouji glanced at each other before Takuya finally looked back at Kouichi and gave the older twin a slow nod.
"Yeah…things are back to normal-at least our relationship is. I don't know what I'm going to do about my family, but like you said…they're not really my family if they can't accept me. It might take me awhile to get used to that, but I don't think I'll miss them too much, since I have another family right here." Kouichi actually blushed as Takuya said this, the brunette hugging Kouji to him while he did so. Takuya winked at Kouichi in response and the older twin nodded as he went to set the tray down on the bedside table.
"You said you wanted me to bring some food up…Junpei and I finally settled on just ordering some soup and sandwiches from that little café down the street…hope that sounds okay to you." Both Takuya and Kouji nodded at Kouichi, as Takuya helped Kouichi adjust the tray on the bed.
Kouichi and Junpei were getting ready to turn around and head back out-thinking that the two would like some time alone, but as Kouji and Takuya shared a quick look, Kouji called out to his twin-stopping the two boys before they were fully out of the room.
"Why don't you two stay? I think there's a lot we need to talk about and figure out a plan…I'm not sure why, but I have the funny feeling that we're all not out of the woods quite yet." Kouji murmured, and Kouichi and Junpei shared a look at each other before nodding and both heading back to the bed-Kouichi started to shut the door, but not before Wolf demanded to come through and the older twin snorted as he let the German shepherd through. Kouji grinned as Kouichi rolled his eyes, while Wolf sniffed at Takuya for a moment, before heading over to his own dog bed and climbing into it-curling up in a tight ball…he didn't shut his eyes, but only watched the four teens before him with idle curiosity, wondering what his master and his friends were up too, and wishing that he could understand the human language better than the basic commands that Kouji had taught him…and of course, names that were repeated often.
Junpei and Kouichi arranged themselves on the end of the large bed, as Takuya handed Kouji a bowl of chicken noodle soup, which he gratefully accepted as Takuya picked up his own.
As the two boys ate, Kouichi and Junpei were both silent, until Kouji finally put down his bowl, claiming that he'd had enough. Kouichi eyed his twin, seeing that the bowl was only halfway empty and all Kouji did was shrug.
"Not that hungry." He stated, and Takuya finally sighed as he set his own bowl down-mostly empty, a few remains left-the sandwiches were left untouched, as Takuya brought Kouji closer to him.
"I'm not that hungry, either…Junpei, why don't you and Kouichi go and get the DVD player from his room. We can set it up in here and watch a movie? I don't know about the two of you, but for right now, all I kind of want to do is just…well…forget about the outside world for a little bit…I just want it to be us." Even though Kouichi knew that Kouji had had other plans after eating, he nodded and got off the bed, motioning for Junpei to come and help him.
Getting the idea, Junpei nodded and followed, saying that they'd be back and with the scariest horror movie they could find. Kouji made a face at this, and said that they've had this argument already once, right? No horror movies! Junpei promptly got smacked alongside the head by Kouichi, and the brunette rubbed his head as he muttered something about abusive boyfriends and girlfriends, before Kouichi grinned and said that when they returned, it wouldn't be with a horror movie.
Kouji had only grinned and snuggled further into Takuya's embrace.
By the time the two had gone, Takuya had glanced over to where Kouji was snuggled up to him and he smiled at him softly as he held him even closer.
"I promise you I won't let you go-no one can ever make me let you go. We'll get through this, Kouji." The brunette murmured, and Kouji sighed as he buried his face into Takuya's chest, mumbling something that he couldn't quite hear…so he made his lover repeat it.
"Promise?" Was what Takuya finally heard when Kouji managed to bring his head up from the brunette's chest, and Takuya smiled as he pushed some strands of fallen hair out of Kouji's face.
"Promise." Takuya whispered, as Kouji's eyelids started to gently fall shut-this time, Takuya didn't bother moving him or waking him and when Kouichi and Junpei came back in, Takuya shrugged when Kouichi asked if Takuya really wanted to watch a movie.
"Sure…why not? I'd like the company, since I'm not quite sleepy yet…and I'm not quite sure why, but for some odd reason, it feels right for the two of you to stay in here with us-don't ask me why. Now plug in the DVD player and start whatever movie you guys picked out." Takuya playfully demanded, and the other two nodded as they set it up, and then eventually joined Takuya and Kouji on the bed.
When Tomoko went to check on the four teens, wondering what the boys were up to and why it was so quiet, she grinned at what she saw-gently shaking her head as she moved quietly to turn off the DVD player and then silently headed out of the room-closing the door gently behind her.
TBC
