I would be lost without Vagabonda, Beachcomberlc, and IpsitaC77. Please show them some love. They tweaked and edited this chapter over and over because I kept messing with it.

Chapter 12

Emmett's behaviour improved. He stopped yelling and treating Bella badly. He still objected to the lessons and learning from Bella, but he tried hard not to let his father know. He did everything he was supposed to do, but slowly and with a pout. It wasn't really that much of an improvement, but it was some, and Bella let Edward know of the change. After a two week spell of good enough behaviour, as a reward, Edward allowed him to accompany Carlisle on a short hunt. Emmett had been going on short trips with Carlisle for just over a year now and he desperately wanted to go again. As part of his punishment, Emmett hadn't even touched his fishing pole in two weeks, nor had he been allowed to play in the woods. Chores, schooling and playing in the barnyard with Leah was all he was allowed to do and the boy had pent-up energy to burn.

Bella packed a camp roll, supplies and food in a bag small enough for a young boy to carry easily. They were all in awe of her for doing this; in the past, Rachel would have pitched a fit and made them pack for themselves. Rachel did not like Carlisle taking her first-born anywhere by himself; if Edward accompanied them, fine, but not that scoundrel alone. Rachel's sour attitude usually put a damper on the trips, at least for the first few hours. Bella's help and generosity sent them off in a happy mood. For them to have the fallback of bread and hard biscuits alone was a luxury, not to mention the other goodies Bella had packed for them and Emmett was delighted. Carlisle was thrilled. A furlough from a diet of rabbit and squirrel was one of the main reasons he spent so much time with his friend, Edward.

These trips invariably involved foraging for berries or wild vegetables, but mostly they ate fish or whatever small game they could catch. There was lots of disgusting behaviour such as scratching one's parts openly or practice spitting for distance. As sure as eggs is eggs, there would be other rites of passage observed on these trips. For example, when Emmett was old enough, he would be taught to cuss, shoot and be educated in the ways of men and women.

Edward was surprised to see tears in Bella's eyes as she waved them off. She laughed to herself before gathering Jasper up in a firm embrace. It was only three days, but the loss of almost half of the family did not go unnoticed. Even the dog was gone, Leah trailing after Emmett like a shadow. Suddenly, the house was too quiet and sombre. Although there was no music after dinner, nightfall found Edward lurking in the doorway of the boys' room, listening as Bella sang Jasper to sleep.


The next morning, Bella was able to give the house a thorough cleaning while Edward took Jasper berry picking. Her quiet industry was interrupted by their noisy return. Jasper came home shouting with glee; his face, hands, hair and shirt stained a lovely shade of purplish-red. Bella laughed instead of scolded, especially when Edward stuck out his tongue to show its own unnatural hue. Bella smiled at his antics, and beamed when she sampled a taste of the sweet fruit. They were large berries, dark purple, almost black, and there were plenty of them as well as a small bucket of the smaller, red thimbleberries.

"We found a mulberry tree that still had ripe fruit. Part of it was shaded so the fruit took a bit longer to ripen. A little late in the season, but there are several buckets worth. If you can get to cleaning Jasper, I can go fetch the rest."

Bella was overjoyed. She'd sent them out for enough thimbleberries to make pies. With the extra fruit she could put up some jam or jelly for winter. But none of this could happen with a sticky purple boy awaiting a good scrub.

Jasper took to his first bath well, but started to grumble and fuss when Bella began scrubbing the stain from his skin. She let him run around unclothed for a bit to dry off when she heard Edward return. He dropped off three old milk buckets filled to the brim with berries and trotted away to get the rest. It took longer than anticipated for him to return with the second load, and when he made his appearance, it was evident why. He carried three more buckets easily, but had a huge gash in his shirt that was stained red with blood. Bella gasped at the sight. She didn't like the sight of blood, it made her feel odd. Her own blood made her faint, but the blood of others made her feel queer, although not quite sick.

Edward tried to reassure her his injury wasn't serious, but Bella wasn't deterred. She made sure Jasper was fully asleep on a small pile of hay, shaded by the barn, before forcing Edward into a chair on the porch and tending to his wound. He explained as she tended him.

"I climbed up the tree to get at a few more berries near the top and the branch gave way. It's been a long time since I climbed a tree, I guess you can say I'm rusty at it. I gouged my shoulder on the way down."

"Nothing else is hurt then? Just the shoulder?" Bella gathered some bandages along with the witch hazel and started to unbutton his shirt. The tear she could easily mend and the blood would soak out; no need to cut the shirt from him and ruin a perfectly serviceable garment. If Edward could walk and carry buckets, he could suffer through taking his shirt off the normal way.

"My shoulder, my ego and my caboose. But I'm only letting you fix my shoulder." They both blushed at his remark.

Edward winced as she pulled his shirt from his arms and watched her as she assessed the wound.

"It's deep. I'll need to stitch it. Do you have any more whiskey?"

"To drink or to clean it?" He was hoping for one over the other.

"Both. This might hurt."

Edward grimaced and told her where he kept his stores. He waited, pressing a dry cloth to his shoulder, while Bella fetched one of the jugs from the springhouse. She shocked the hell out of him when she took a healthy pull at the jug after he did.

After thoroughly washing his shoulder area with the witch hazel, Bella dipped the corner of a bandage into a small saucer of whiskey she had poured and held it to the gash for a few minutes. She let the alcohol soak into the wound and waited for the small trickle of blood to slow. Then she wet her thread and needle in the alcohol before sewing up his wound. Edward swore with the first stitch and Bella paused for a moment so he could take another drink.

The next stitch was easier, but she quickly found the angle to be tricky. Without warning or thought, Bella put down her needle, hiked her skirts to her knees and straddled his legs. Edward's hands reacted before his brain could register what was happening, and he found himself holding her hips.

Stunned by her own behaviour, Bella looked at Edward, wide-eyed. They were so close they could feel each other's breath, not only on their skin, but by the rise and fall of their chests. Bella looked down at his injury but was befuddled by the sight of his bare chest, the smooth, taut skin dusted with a light smattering of coarse golden hair.

She hadn't thought this through.

It had seemed natural to climb onto Edward's lap to sew him up but it became so very astonishing as soon as she did it. Protected as she was by a bunched-up, light cotton skirt and her summer weight petticoat and bloomers, Bella could still feel the muscles of his thighs beneath her own. This closeness should not have felt familiar to her, but strangely it did; familiar, comfortable and risqué all at the same time.

Bella realised the intimate position she had placed herself in was scandalous. She'd seen the whores and dancing girls perch on men's laps like this at the saloon, but she didn't feel in the very least like a whore in Edward's lap.

She was at such a crossroads with this man, her husband. Surely any other wife would feel welcome to sit astride her husband, and most men would encourage this behaviour. But the line between servant and wife was barbed with twists of wire for her. She was both and neither, as confusing as it was. Bella felt indecent and powerful, all at the same time, as well as frightened and excited. As she heard Edward's breathing stutter, Bella drew her bottom lip into her mouth and bit hard to clear her mind. She turned her attention to the task at hand and did her best to ignore the man beneath her.

It was easier and faster to tend to his wound while sitting astride him. The last four stitches went in quickly and, thanks to the whiskey, almost painlessly. Bella cleaned the area and dabbed it with a cloth soaked in witch hazel. She started to feel the affects of the shot of whiskey she had downed, and a warmth rose from her stomach to her face. Or perhaps the heat was rising from him - she couldn't make the distinction.

Edward held fast to Bella's hips. She hadn't moved much other than just a little shimmy, but it was enough to awaken his senses, particularly his male senses. He'd never had a woman sit astride him like this, but Edward had seen naughty pictures depicting such an act. The salacious thrill of it ran from the crown of his head down to the heels of his feet and back up again before settling in his groin. It had been a long time since the last 'you may' from Rachel, and Edward was titillated. As much as he wanted Bella to leave his lap before he got too excited or embarrassed himself, he desperately wanted her to stay put, and perhaps she could move about some for a while. These thoughts ran rampant through Edward's mind and he didn't even notice that Bella had finished sewing his torn flesh. Edward cleared his throat in an effort to clear his mind, but it didn't help; the vibration from his throat rippled its way through his body and settled in his cock with a firm jolt. Stupefied, Edward was transfixed until the cold sting of the antiseptic jolted him out of his reverie and he, too, blushed.

Feeling him start beneath her, Bella's focus shifted from Edward's shoulder to his eyes. For the first time, she was close enough to clearly see their colour, a fetching mixture of green and blue, much like seawater. The shade reminded her of the long voyages she had taken with her parents. As she gazed at him, there was a look of intensity in his eyes that she had not seen from him, nor in fact from any man. It made Bella feel intoxicated and heady to have Edward look at her like that, to have him regard her with such fervor. She felt an urge to run her fingers through his tousled hair and smooth it in a show of affection, or as a precursor to something more intimate.

Bella had been regarded with want and lust before, plenty of times before, but this look was different. There was a reverence there, underneath the longing and desire, that hinted at something profound. Unnerved and disarmed by what she saw in Edward's eyes, Bella quickly realised it was too complicated a look for the situation they found themselves in. It was too soon and too much, so Bella swiftly lifted herself from his lap and busied herself cleaning up the medical supplies in an effort to regain her composure. She desperately needed to re-examine her thoughts and to stop herself from doing something rash and inappropriate.

Edward sat there in a fog. One second she was there, the next, gone. His missed the warmth of her and the possibility of pleasure until he realised what was happening. Watching Bella fuss about, tidying, made him wonder if she knew of his reaction to her closeness and the carnal thoughts that ran through his mind. He really hoped she did not. Shamefaced, Edward thanked her for her tending and strode off to the barn for the rest of the afternoon.


Edward walked back to the house slowly when Bella called him for dinner. He was surprised to find, instead of a meal at the dinner table, a picnic on the porch for the three of them. Jasper was exceptionally clean from his three baths and there wasn't a spot of mulberry juice on him. The young boy giggled throughout the entire meal. Jasper thought eating on the porch was the grandest thing ever. He'd take a bite or two, then either run the length of the porch or bounce down the stairs. His joy was infectious and his antics made Bella laugh. Edward managed a laugh or two as well, but mostly he enjoyed her reactions to his son. Bella looked young and pretty; far prettier than he had seen her before. Far too pretty to be married to the likes of him. And far, far too good for a rogue like Carlisle, if he should ever decided to wed. Edward could picture her married to a city man, a lawyer or doctor, perhaps a fancy politician.

However, Bella was married to him; she was his bird in hand and one well worth keeping. Edward decided then and there that he would try to win her regard and hopefully, her affections. He had dithered about the subject for long enough. With Carlisle away and no longer breathing down his neck or pulling her eye from him, now would be a good time to start wooing her.

"It's nice to see Jasper having a grand time like this. Rachel never let us have a picnic on the porch." He smiled what he hoped was his most endearing smile. He watched in dismay as the joy melted from Bella's eyes. She began to clean up the meal and stood to bring the dishes into the house. Before he could get to his feet, she was gone.

Bella deserting them did nothing to stop Jasper's games, so Edward stayed on the porch to watch him. When he started to tire, Edward held him on his lap and hummed to him until the boy dozed off. As he carried the sleeping child into the house, he saw Bella standing at the sink, slowly washing the dishes. She didn't turn to look at him, and he said nothing for fear of waking the boy. After Jasper was securely tucked into his bed, Edward walked back into the main room to find it empty. There was no light streaming from the loft and Bella wasn't on the porch. Edward stood in the vacant room and scratched his head. He had no idea why she'd just up and left like that. Not wanting to disturb her by climbing the ladder and interrupting her in the loft, he decided he'd ask her in the morning.

AN: I'm starting to think I should have named this story 'One step forward, two step back' or something like that. Thankfully, though, one of our characters grows a set next chapter, and it's not Edward. And there will be kissing, but not for a bit longer.

Thank you for reading.